Search      Members      Groups      Profile      Favorites      RSS      Register      Log in
One Last Bullet... Chapter 3!
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
(currently a favorite of )
   Storygames Home -> -> The Archives
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 3:32 am    Post subject: One Last Bullet... Chapter 3! Reply with quote

Ok, another new Story Game (I just can't keep them under control....). Something a little different this time. This introduction chapter may seem a little short, but all will be explained below. Read on.

This is NOT humour. Its an experimental way of telling the story, so this is where it goes. So if you find it funny, you are sick and should be paraded around in your underwear for all to see! Razz Wink
---------------------------

One Last Bullet…
Chapter 1


The steel tube pressed hard against my head felt hot as hell, the memory of the .45 Calibre shells that it had just spat violently at me still warming the barrel. One last bullet, chambered, ready to glide slowly into the deepest recesses of my brain. Just my luck.

“Looks like you’re almost spent. Mind where you point that thing now.” I exclaimed, sounding much more enthusiastic and hopeful than I had any right to.

“We got something else in common then; last rounds for the both of us. What’ll it be?” retorted the man who I hated, hated more than anything I had ever ‘hated’ before. One who I had been hunting down for the past decade, killing my way to the top of the food chain, just so I could have this opportunity. This opportunity for vengeance.

His cold, dark eyes bored into mine, just as hard as the Colt pressed into my forehead. But in them I could see the man who had ruined my life and forced me on this revenge-fuelled bloodbath. 11 years searching and killing, and it all came down to this moment; two cheap pistols, two unsteady trigger fingers, two large calibre bullets poised to end all life in its path. My large-bore handgun also rammed hard into the centre of his forehead, scoring a red mark across his wrinkled skin. Like something out of a Tarantino movie. Except this 'aint glamorus or eccentic or being played along to by an upbeat jazz tune. That, and a whole lot of fucking sand. The heat from the sun was starting to get to me, its unrelenting brightness forcing my dust clogged eyes into slits. A little blood leaked from a wound across my shoulder, making it numb and sending a tiny trickle of warm, sticky blood running down the front of my dark shirt. I could see that I had clipped him too, a dark red stain slowly spreading across the white fabric covering his abdomen, coming from a small hole just above his hip. He didn’t seem to notice as his expensive looking suit was ruined. Maybe your own blood washes out easier that other peoples. I fucking doubt it.

Feeling the perspiration forming on my upper-lip, I choked down my fear
“I finally catch up with you, after 11 fucking years, and all you have is a sand filled Colt and a dodgy aim. Frankly, I’m disappointed. But we are finally here. You must have known this day would come. Anything to say for yourself?” The anger in my voice was scathing and crude, but he seemed unfazed, his dirt-encrusted face starting implacably back at mine.

“Were both fucked boy! Ha! Up shit creek without a fucking canoe, let alone a god-damned paddle! Actually, screw the creek; we’re in a fucking desert. Were just plain fucked. Neither of us is getting out of here. My time has come; I’ve been running too long and, frankly, I’m tired of it. Tired of the cockroach filled motels, tired of the guilt that gnaws at my soul and mind; every time I lay down to sleep it replays in my mind and I wake in a stinking sweat. I guess you can’t imagine me guilty, but trust this old timer; its there. God, is it fucking there…” He let his tanned, hairless head drop for a second, his eyes falling to the ground. I could have ended it then; I could get off the shot, could have sent his grey matter spraying across the bleached white sand. But something stopped my forefinger, leaving it resting heavily on the slightly bent trigger. I couldn’t do it; not yet.

“And you! You ‘aint got anything to go back to. All that’s kept you going this past decade is ME! Without me, you got nothing boy! NOTHING! And we both know that I ‘aint getting out of here alive. So ask yourself, if you can get it into that fire-fuelled mind; why am I here? What the fuckhas this old bastard done that is so bad? So bad that I ruined my life trying to find him and end his miserable fucking existence.” My finger tightened around the trigger, my hatred seething, barely below the surface. But I would not give him the satisfaction of seeing my pain. Keeping it bottled up, I stared straight back at his piss-yellow eyes, unconsciously willing him to just shut the fuck up and prepare to die.

“We’re pathetic, you know that? I feel shame when I look at myself, and I feel pity when I look into those deep, pretty eyes you seem so proud of. What you did to find me; you proud o’ that? I fucking doubt it. Those men were just in the way. You dint’ care ‘bout what you did in your desperate search. Take a good look at yourself boy. You’se just as fucked as me. We’re more alike than either of us is comfortable with. ‘Aint that a bitch?” He snorted, spitting a phlegmy gobbet into the hot sand. A twisted grin spread across his leering face.

No matter how much that piece of shit redneck had hurt me, despite all the torture, shame, anguish that he put me through, his words rang painfully true. I was not proud of what I had done. Killed dozens just so I could find this one man, one fucking man! It was shameful. I felt my anger ebb away. He may have been that cocksucking piece of shit that shattered my life before my tear-chocked eyes, but he was just one old, broken man. Broken and pathetic.

But despite the remorse that was burning at the back of my mind, I also knew that this man had to die. By my hand. With my bullet screaming through that leathery skin, into his skull. But first I needed to know why. I needed answers. From him, and from myself. I had to take a good long look at why that bastard did what he did, and why I did what I did. Before I could end his god-forsaken existence, I need some form of closure. Without it I would end up just as worthless and pathetic as him. I would be, to put it simply, ‘fucked’.

----------------------------------

Ok, hope that was to people's liking. Now, here's the experimental bit. These two are in this situation for a reason. One did something god-damned awful to the other. The decision I give to you is what? This will form the basis. You, the valued ( Wink ) reader, will determine what leather-guy did to our protagonist, and, as the story unfolds, I want you to develop the story up until this point. Neither is prepared to pull their trigger just yet. They are gonna talk for a little while. I hope people take to this idea, and I look forward to the imaginative and twisted (yes, you Shady Smile ) ideas that you come up with.

P.S. I will probably remove the bleeping of the cus-words at home; they're only there at the moment so I can post at school without it stopping me. Edit: I think I've got all of 'em. :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5


Last edited by Solomon Birch on Tue May 09, 2006 11:56 am; edited 11 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definately a good start Soily - and a 'ma-hoosive' decision point so early on.

I hope it pays off. My initital concerns are that we already know the ending, so it may ruin part of the story. But if there is one thing I'm constantly telling my dad when watching certain films/cartoons - it's not what happens, it's how it happens that's interesting.

I'm sure that'll be the case here.

So what did the old guy do?

Slept with his wife? Raped his wife? Killed her? Killed his family? All the above?

Maybe all the above and framed the protagonist? After spending a few decades in gaol, because of some scum who set him up, our protagonist's revenge will be burning damn hot.

Maybe something a bit more unique? All that's a bit 'Face Off'

The thing is - our protagonist seems like an ordinary bloke. There's not many things that would make a normal guy so intent on revenge. Confused

Unless he's some sort of assassin and the old guy stole his hit, made him lose the contract or something? But both of them are lousy shots?

Maybe the twisty one can come up with something.

Happy Writing Very Happy
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
it's how it happens that's interesting


YAY! You've cottoned onto the whole point of this SG! Well done Smee, nice suggestions. Thanks. Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5


Last edited by Solomon Birch on Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:09 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good start earthy-one!

I do have the beginnings of an idea that's a little twistier than the run-of-the-mill "you killed my..."

How about:

The two of them were fighting on the same side in some sort of war. Either financial, territorial or war in the classic sense of the word. To save his own skin, the old man leaves the other to fall into enemy hands.

For three years, he is a hostage/prisoner of war/torture victim/other. He is locked away, unaware of the events in the wide world. When he comes out, he finds that everything he once held dear is lost to him.

His business is in ruins, or it's been taken over by some rival company.

His wife has declared him dead and remarried. She now has a new life and children with her second partner and there is no place for him in any of it.

His only child committed suicide/was involved in an accident, that he feels he could have prevented, if he had been free of his captors at the time.

What's left but revenge?

It's the skeleton of an idea, but it allows for a lot of ambiguity, and what's more, the author will have to figure out all the twists, instead of me doing it for him Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good plan Twisty one - the Soily one was trying to get us to do most of the story for him. Wink

Damn good idea too. Smile
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I knew I could count on you Shady. Great ideas there your Stoatliness. I'm glad people are getting the idea; I don't want people to write it for me (that would be nice.... but a little boring, don't you think? Wink ) but I want the readers to determine what they to happen. It will be your story, told through the eyes of our gubby protag.

Keep the great comments coming people! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well as the SmeeStoat has said above, it needs to be pretty major. Basically killing family, ruining the guy. Stealing his wife maybe? Who says the guy has to be right or even sane?

I can't think of anything to add to the above, but looking forward to the next, or should that be the previous(?), chapter. Very Happy
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm thinking along the lines of Shady. The other guy seems older older than the main character, so I was thinking some form of mentor?

Maybe a wizended war hero who took our protaganist under his wing, and taught him the ways of the trade in battle, and then turned out to be working for the enemy instead - as a spy or something. Prehaps he set our hero up, expecting him to die in battle, one which took all his comrades away, and left him as the only survivor. When he found out he came looking for revenge?
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
DukeReg
Citizen



Joined: 12 Oct 2005

Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was going to ask if all that pointless swear word modification was some CityofIF policy I didn't know about, but you answered me preemptively. Wink

I like Stoat's idea (she must have a team of writers working full time or something!), and Lord of the Night's variation, but I'm wondering if we aren't getting ahead of ourselves...

I'm not to trying to usurp your position as author Solomon Birch, but if the first post is the final climax of the story, and the first decision is a clear summary of the POV character's motivation, the story's pretty much over by the end of chapter 2. Shouldn't we decide on something more minor each decision point that will eventually culminate and form the character's motivation, so its a process of gradual enlightenment for the players?

Just a respectful suggestion, I think the overall idea is good.
_________________
Duke Reg

Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I was hoping that this would cement the background of the story, which would first allow the chapters to be longer ( Wink ) and would allow people to then develop the story of how he spent his time trying to find the guy. So at the moment I want a backstory, because if we don't have that then we can't come up with the path he takes to find the guy.

Hope that makes it a little clearer for ya! Thanks for the responses everyone! Keep 'em coming! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
DukeReg
Citizen



Joined: 12 Oct 2005

Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see the idea now, I was a bit confused. Smile

Something Chinaren wrote struck me:
"Who says the guy has to be right or even sane?"

This is a good point. I was thinking that rather than have justifiable, reasonable motives, the characters could have ruined each others lives through paranoia, misunderstanding and perhaps a small amount of psychosis.

I think it would be appropriate that the old guy be his step father, and the POV character's mother and/or siblings died as something that can be blamed by a disturbed mind on the step-father, particularly if he was only young when it happened. I know well the resentment that step-parents can cause, even growing up in a supportive, stable family; imagine a rough lower-class family with problems pouring out of their ears.
_________________
Duke Reg

Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good thoughts Duke.
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, lot's of nice things for a poll now. I'll wait a little longer then maybe put it up tomorrow or thursday.

And, just a query: Shall we have some suggestions for names? Perhaps just one name, for now anyway. Or do people prefer them nameless for the moment? Or for he whole story... Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think leaving them namelesss is pretty good. Afterall, if we learn what they call each other, then it may tell us a lot about their relationship, instead of being a still unknown one.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Araex
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... everyone is saying we've had the final climax already - but we haven't, not by a long shot. We still don't know what will happen.

What's really strange (and I don't know how it happened) is that all the way through I had it as canon in my mind that Leather-Man killed the protagonist's brother.

So... ideas... so far all the suggestions seem rather over-used: killed family, slept with wife, betraying mentors, "I am your (step-) father" stuff. However, that is the problem with originality, there isn't a lot of it around anymore.

Out of the suggestions that have gone before, I quite like the spy-cum-mentor track though.

Nothing to say myself on the subject though...
Back to top
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, I've had lot's and lot's of great ideas, and I would like to get the poll up now, but I'm trying to come up with a good way of doing that, with all the options I think it would look horribly messy. Anyone get any ideas on how I could make it smoother or just more readable? If not I'll just try and get all the ideas people have submitted posted. :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I were you, I'd outline the full options in one post. eg:

1) Smee's idea: blahdi blahdi blahdi blah
2) Stoat's idea: bibble bobble bubble dribble
3) DukeReg's idea: hubble bubble boil and trouble
etc.

Then simply put up a poll with

1) Smee's idea (see above)
2) Stoat's idea (see above)
3) DukeReg's idea (see above)

Any good to you?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a good idea Stoat, thanks. Makes it much easier. :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, here we go:

Smee's idea: So what did the old guy do?

Slept with his wife? Raped his wife? Killed her? Killed his family? All the above?

Maybe all the above and framed the protagonist? After spending a few decades in gaol, because of some scum who set him up, our protagonist's revenge will be burning damn hot.

Maybe something a bit more unique? All that's a bit 'Face Off'

The thing is - our protagonist seems like an ordinary bloke. There's not many things that would make a normal guy so intent on revenge. Confused

Unless he's some sort of assassin and the old guy stole his hit, made him lose the contract or something? But both of them are lousy shots?

Shady Stoat's Idea: The two of them were fighting on the same side in some sort of war. Either financial, territorial or war in the classic sense of the word. To save his own skin, the old man leaves the other to fall into enemy hands.

For three years, he is a hostage/prisoner of war/torture victim/other. He is locked away, unaware of the events in the wide world. When he comes out, he finds that everything he once held dear is lost to him.

His business is in ruins, or it's been taken over by some rival company.

His wife has declared him dead and remarried. She now has a new life and children with her second partner and there is no place for him in any of it.

His only child committed suicide/was involved in an accident, that he feels he could have prevented, if he had been free of his captors at the time.

What's left but revenge?

Chinaren's idea: Well as the SmeeStoat has said above, it needs to be pretty major. Basically killing family, ruining the guy. Stealing his wife maybe? Who says the guy has to be right or even sane?

Lordofthenight's idea: I'm thinking along the lines of Shady. The other guy seems older older than the main character, so I was thinking some form of mentor?

Maybe a wizended war hero who took our protaganist under his wing, and taught him the ways of the trade in battle, and then turned out to be working for the enemy instead - as a spy or something. Prehaps he set our hero up, expecting him to die in battle, one which took all his comrades away, and left him as the only survivor. When he found out he came looking for revenge?

DukeReg's idea: Something Chinaren wrote struck me:
"Who says the guy has to be right or even sane?"

This is a good point. I was thinking that rather than have justifiable, reasonable motives, the characters could have ruined each others lives through paranoia, misunderstanding and perhaps a small amount of psychosis.

I think it would be appropriate that the old guy be his step father, and the POV character's mother and/or siblings died as something that can be blamed by a disturbed mind on the step-father, particularly if he was only young when it happened. I know well the resentment that step-parents can cause, even growing up in a supportive, stable family; imagine a rough lower-class family with problems pouring out of their ears.

Araex's idea: Hmm... everyone is saying we've had the final climax already - but we haven't, not by a long shot. We still don't know what will happen.

What's really strange (and I don't know how it happened) is that all the way through I had it as canon in my mind that Leather-Man killed the protagonist's brother.

So... ideas... so far all the suggestions seem rather over-used: killed family, slept with wife, betraying mentors, "I am your (step-) father" stuff. However, that is the problem with originality, there isn't a lot of it around anymore.

Out of the suggestions that have gone before, I quite like the spy-cum-mentor track though.

There we go! Hope that makes it a little easier. Thanks again for the idea Shady. Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stoaty wrote:

1) Smee's idea: blahdi blahdi blahdi blah


I think this is a more accurate account of my idea - I don't actually come to any conclusion Laughing
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't really think anyone did - just threw random suggestions out there.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL! :biggrin:

I think that it's mainly a rough outline people gave, so I have more work to do... *mumble grumble* Wink Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Jack_D.Mented
Respected Citizen



Joined: 22 Jan 2006

Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He should definitely be a little nutso. This constant thrist for revenge has made him more than a little... unstable. I F5 Chinaren on that one.

I like Stoat's idea and all, but I think that just for an add-on, you should make it even more personal. The man's not gonna be so emotional for no real reason after all. Leather- man gave him the works.

Like say, while he was cooling his heels in some third world hellhole, Leather man moved in on his wife and married her. Even adopted his kids. And to make it worse, the bastard was actually a good dad! Jealousy seethes because, being a soldier and all, he never really got to be a real father to them himself. They don't even recognize him.

Maybe even the wife and L.M. were messing around before the protaganist went M.I.A. She may have even had a part in it, something you could reveal right now.

Just kinda an extra kick in the nuts I'd love to see there. All for the Stoat idea, but I was wondering, what the hell was Leather-man doing the whole time the hero was locked up? He sure wasn't just sittin around twiddling his thumbs and whistling Dixie, that's for damn sure. Why not retire? He's got some years and it'll be a good life, seeing as his only rival is more than likely dead.

Make a good little personal footnote to all the other stuff he's probably done to the poor bastard. Also puts him in a situation ideal for killing the family when the hero gets too close.

I know idea time is over and all, but I just wanted that to just be put out there as an option for some sort of little side story.

But go for the Stoat thing, just remember, any one man that obsessed with offing another man for that many years can't be right in the head.
_________________
Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL


Abattoir Chapter 2!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great stuff Jack, welcome to the story! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, Shady Stoat's idea won, so I shall try and get working on the chapter soon.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, here's the second chapter. Sorry for the wait, but I wanted to get it right, and I'm pleased with how it turned out. Let's just hoe you lot are too! Very Happy

Enjoy! :biggrin:

------------------------

One Last Bullet
Chapter Two


Ha! Can you even remember doing what you did? I bet it was just a blur; those men worth as much as a two-dollar whore to you. Less.” He spat a bloody chunk of his own cheek into the sand, I tried to ignore him, but his words brought back memories which I had tried so damn hard to keep buried under the slag in my mind. Memories of my family… and my past life…

~

The wind was blowing. It was chill, and I wrapped my arm around Sam’s waist, pulling her closer. Macho showing off really, but I was cold and it helped warm me up. Selfish acts crop up everywhere, you know.

She smiled and gripped my hand. That pink woollen hat looked so good on her; with her auburn hair coming out from under it and flapping about messily in the wind. She kept trying to tuck it neatly behind her small ears, but it was no use. The playful wind kept pulling it back out again.

“Leave it be hon, you aren’t going to beat it. And it looks nice like that anyhow.” I tried, tackily, but she just smiled again and looked ahead down the path winding it’s way through the swaying trees, whose golden leaves were slowly leaving their lofty perches and joining their decaying comrades on the ground. Looking back now, it was probably the last time I was truly happy. She was so beautiful. That wind, her hair, those leaves. It don’t seem like much, but it what made life enjoyable, made me forget what I did to bring in money, to keep her and Rachel clothed and fed. It was worth it, I felt at the time. I’m not so sure now.

~

“This, THIS is pathetic! You let them escape? What the fuck were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?” His screams washed over me. I knew I’d fucked up, but I didn’t care. I was leaving soon, so it didn’t matter. Asshole could go screw himself.

“You think it’s cheap to get these guys across the border? DO YOU?!” The leather faced bastard hit the roof, his enraged screams echoing around the dusty trailer as if it were a bull in a bat cave. His spittle sprayed over my lapels, but I ignored it. It was a cheap suit anyways.

“I am going to shove a shotgun so far up your ass your gonna be choking on it! Get the fuck outta my sight. I’ll deal with you tomorrow. I’ve gotta recover those fucking immigrants now, before the cops pick any up. Berty, escort this piece a shit off site.” He flicked open a rusting Zippo and lit a bent smoke. The heavy set fellow at the door put a meaty hand on my shoulder and directed me out the door. As we were nearing the gate, he gripped my arm tight and turned me to face him.

“You shoulda apologised mack. He don’t take to kindly to fuckups. I’d watch your back from now on.” He gave me an… encouraging, push toward the chain link gate, so I walked along the dusty track and to my car a few hundred yards outside the construction site. He didn’t look so threatening, then. Couldn’t even afford a new lighter, the scum bag; I thought then.

~

The drone of the aeroplane rattled my teeth and shook my head ‘til it hurt.

“Ladies and gentlemen; we have hit an un-expected area of turbulence. Could you please ensure that your seatbelts are fastened securely and your tray table is folded away. Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the flight” The plastic voice crackled over the intercom, stuffing common sense into my aching head. I hate flying.

I felt Rachel squeeze my hand tighter as the plane went through another violent jolt.

“Don’t worry peach, it wont be like this long. Just hold daddy’s hand and close your eyes” I whispered into her ear. She nodded swiftly and crammed her pretty green eyes shut, her small face scrunching up as she tried so hard to block out the terrifying wrenching. She was so brave. I felt her delicate hand clenching ever tighter, though we almost lost each other on a few of the worse shudders.

Creak.

“Daddy!”

And then, silence. Her knuckles white from gripping so hard, she snuck her hand from my grasp and opened her eyes.

“See? What did I tell you? That wasn’t too bad now, was it?” I smiled, hoping to get one of hers in return. I did. She smiled so nice too.

She nodded, picked up her book and began to read. Such a good reader, Rachel. I never read much when I was a kid. Wish I had now. Know what I mean? You see your kid doing something sensible, and you kinda wish you’d done the same. Guess it can’t be helped now.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. We should arrive in Buenos Aires in about 30 minutes. Thank you for flying with….” Damn plastic voices.

~

The door slammed loudly, almost hitting my nose, but not quite. Still room for a June bug to creep between, but it was pretty darned close.

I sighed, collapsing on the creaking bed. The slow drone of the fan occasionally sent a cool breeze my way, but it didn’t do anything to keep the bugs off. Sweat fell from my body, making the faded pillow damp and stinking. I hate South America.

Sam had just taken Rachel and left. Brought a suitcase too. She hadn’t done that before. Sitting up, I pulled a bottle of whisky from the cabinet next to the bed and took a swig, groaning as the crude fire burned down my already parched throat. Not the most sensible thing to do, but you know how it is. Everyone does.

She’d wanted to know why we had to leave the house and come stay at a cheap hotel outside town, again, and I couldn’t answer her straight. Fed her some bullshit about a deal having to be brokered out in the country, but I don’t think she bought it, barging out and all. I took another gulp.

I couldn’t exactly tell her that we had to go ‘cos there was fellas looking for me, and they was pissed off. That would have just scared her, and she would have left for good. Or insisted we stay. I didn’t get Sam anymore. Though, it was really my fault. I shouldn’t a lied. It didn’t do no good. She loved me. At least, I think she did.

I lay there, mosquitoes buzzing round my head, fan chugging slowly from left to right, sticky air weighing heavily on my slowly rising and falling chest. She’d come back, I thought. She wouldn’t have left me. I took another mouthful of that burning shit and dropped the bottle on the stained carpet and fell asleep. You know how it is.

~

She never came back. I didn’t see Rachel’s smile, or Sam’s auburn hair ever again.

I looked for them. I spent a month searching every hotel in Buenos Aires. But I didn’t dare go back to my house. They knew I lived there, so I couldn’t go back. I still don’t know if they had gone home. I don’t think they did. I just think they left. I never did find them.

But the bastards found me. In a dive bar in the suburbs. Wallowing in my despair, you might say. Tequila can help you forget, let me tell you that. I probably forgot most of my high school education in that month alone.

I was on my fourth or fifth shot, I don’t remember. I head the door go, and I turned to have a quick look to see who had walked in. I’d been doing that a lot, in that month. Turning and looking. Just in case Sam was there, woolly hat on, Rachel’s little hand gripped in hers.

But it was a short, mean looking white guy, with slicked back hair and a moody look plastered across his mug. Behind him was someone I remembered well. ‘Mack’. No one else called me ‘mack’, ever. Except once…

I turned back to the bar, a sick feeling plummeting to the pit of my stomach. I almost gagged, the realisation suddenly hitting me full on in the chest like a roaring train. I stood up quickly, keeping my face away from the door and headed to the bathroom.

I pushed open the dirty brown door and hurried inside, and immediately started looking for a way out. Cursing under my breath that I’d let myself be found, I grabbed at the small window set into the back wall of the reeking room. It wouldn’t budge. I hit at it in anger, but I knew that even if I did get it open, or broke the glass, it was way too small for me to get out of. Why don’t they like proper windows in South America? That’s a question that has plagued me to this day. I think they just like the heat, secretly, you know? Bastards.

I went in one of the cubicles, and tried to lock the door behind me, but it was stuck. After a few frantic moments, I heard the main door open. I left the lock alone and clambered onto the toilet bowl as quietly as I could. I braced myself on either side against the deep green walls of the cubicle, and tried to stand stock still.

I head footsteps moving slowly inwards, from the door. Either this guy was being cautious, or he went for a piss real casual like.

I held my breath, which, for the first few moments, was a relief. Not only was I quieter, but I didn’t have to smell the reek that permeated every orifice. But I couldn’t hold it long, and I cursed myself again for being so stupid. I was forced to let the breath go, and this was clearly audible. I gritted my teeth. The footsteps stopped.

Then, suddenly, the door slammed inwards and meaty guy’s rotund mug was grinning at me.

“Gave us quite the run around, mack.” His smile disappeared and he barrelled into my chest, throwing me off the toilet and into the cistern and wall. I heard something break. I can’t remember if it was the pipes or my ribs. I don’t really remember much of what happened then. I saw a fist rise in my hazy vision, but then it all went red, and then I couldn’t see at all. Couldn’t think. Like drinking a whole bottle of dirt-cheap Tequila, but much more painful.

~

When I came to, I was in an oblong room, 8m by 5. I remember the measurements perfectly. It was a small room.

There was a door at the far end of the room, with a grill set at head height. It looked metallic. The door.

I pushed myself up off the floor, leaning on the tiny cot along the wall. My head hurt like a motherfucker had just taken a bat to it. Looking back, someone probably had. I got unsteadily to my feet and shuffled over to the door. I guess I hoped it was open. Don’t know why. My head was beat up, ok?

There wasn’t no handle. I banged on the door a few times, tried rattling the grill. I think I even yelled. But nothing happened, and I was too darned beat up to keep trying. I went and slumped on the cot and fell into a deep sleep.

~

I was in that 8 by 5 room for 6 years, I think. Don’t remember the exact amount of time, but I think it was 6 years or similar. There weren’t anything to do. Nothing. A food tray was pushed under the door once a day, some slop ladled into a tin bowl. That was the worst, the food. It was so bad I hurled a lot the first few weeks I was there.

There was a toilet, a cot, a T.V. set with no reception, but it did have a VHS and a stack of videos, and 40m² of brown carpet. Every time they pushed that tray under the door, I grabbed the sides and started screaming at the guards, demanding to know where I was and why I was locked up. I knew I’d fucked up for leather face, but why was I locked up? They never answered, of course. Just beat my fingers with their nightsticks ‘til I let go. Broke a few on a number of occasions too.

But eventually, I gave up on yelling at the guards. I ate the swill they gave me, day in day out. I tried refusing a few times, but they just came in and beat me, then stuck a tube down my bruised throat and poured the shit in. I didn’t enjoy that too much, so I gave up starving myself. Guess I was a bit of a coward, but I didn’t care about much then. I thought of Sam and Rachel constantly, but soon even their images faded.

My only company was Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris. It was pretty surreal, after a few months. I think I was going a bit nuts by the second year or so. I just watched the tapes at first, give myself something to do. I used to love those old Bruce Lee films. I think I musta seen Enter the Dragon about 20 times before I get locked up. After that it was probably closer to a thousand or so.

After a while, I was growing pretty bored with all those movies. They get pretty stale after a few watches, especially Chuck Norris. I also noticed around that time that my limbs were getting pretty weak from never using them. So that was when it started. I put on Enter the Dragon again, and I kinda copied what was going on. Thought it was worth getting some exercise, and made them watch able again, until I at least got the moves right. That took a while, and some of the moves looked pretty painful.

I thought that it wasn’t painful enough. I’m telling you, I was going bonkers. So I started trying them on the wall, and the bed. First time I tried I think I dislocated my ankle and my fist hurt like a bitch; I’d torn all the skin off the knuckles and I think I broke a couple a fingers. I didn’t try it again for a while after that, but I was nuts. It wasn’t as painful as time went by, but even when it was, I didn’t care. Sometimes I liked to play with the ragged flesh around my knuckles. Gave me something to do. You know how it is.

I got pretty good too. Against walls that is, but I think my technique was pretty much the same as it was on the videos. I didn’t do the whole screaming thing like Lee though. Didn’t think it would sound right. Might of gotten me beat up too.

Eventually I came to realise that learning Kung Fu from videos against a bed wasn’t going to get me out of there. 6 years was way too fucking long. I had to get away.

----------------------------------

So, how is our protag going to escape? It may seem like quite a hard thing to think of, having been in their 6 years and not having acheived it, but I can think of a few ways already. If there aren't enough ideas then I'll put mine up as well as the few that I hope we get. :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5


Last edited by Solomon Birch on Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:02 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How is he going to escape? Hmm, that's a tricky question. While after realising that trying to learn martial arts from watching films is quite obviously flawed, he'd better be prepared to try something new.

Maybe build up his strength threw push-ups, sit-ups and other various exercises. Running on the spot, bench-pressing the bed, and all of that until he becomes strong and fit, and then fake an illness.

Just stop eating food, and eventually someone will have to come in to check on you - obviously they don't want you dead, so they'll see how you are.

At that point you can make a break for it, knocking out a guard, stealing his keys, weapons and ect, and just try to get out.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, just to point out, he may not have the technique perfect, but he's seriously fit now. Doing strenuous matial arts against a wall for 3/4 of a day, for 5 or so years is pretty strenuous. He did all the excersise stuff too, as he couldn't do some of the moves accurately until he was fitter. He's a fit bastard now.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't forget though - the martial arts he's been learning - while Bruce Lee uses valid techniques, it is still a film, and therefore the flashiest moves are used. He's never tried actually doing them. For the most part - self-defences don't require much strength into themselves, the aim being that anyone could do them.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
DukeReg
Citizen



Joined: 12 Oct 2005

Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say that being super fit, immune to pain, and psycho enough to never consider giving up for a second would be sufficient to overcome anyone who wasnt prepared for it. Someone else needs to open the door, after that he can tear whoever gets in his way a new one, on his way out. Once he has a weapon to hit/shoot people with, he's set.
_________________
Duke Reg

Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only thing I can think of to add to the plan is that he can possibly fashion himself a makeshift weapon out of one of the food-trays or a piece of his cot or something. If he's fairly stealthy about it, he can have a nightstick of his own for when they come to beat him up for not eating or for being ill, or whatever.

Good story, Soily. Innovative use of my idea, so far Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good stuff so far, thanks for the comments guys! Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No window I take it?

Tunnel your way out!

Work on the door lock somehow, or the hinges.

I'm out for now. I will think on it a while.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Come on people, no more ideas? There's a few people who voted for the last poll but havn't been in yet, so I'll wait a little while so they can have a look and post, otherwise I'll be sending PM's out! Wink
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Jack_D.Mented
Respected Citizen



Joined: 22 Jan 2006

Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe he could disassamble the VHS tapes and make a cord with the actual film. He fakes sick and then uses it to choke the nurse guy, taking the bastard hostage. He then works his way out like that, eventually accumlating a gun and other weapons.

Or he could just kill the nurse and disguise himself with the little breathing mask if they're left alone for a second.
_________________
Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL


Abattoir Chapter 2!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But then they'll know he's disabled the camera as he does so, and they'll be prepared.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Jack_D.Mented
Respected Citizen



Joined: 22 Jan 2006

Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What if he's released by someone with a grudge against the Leatherface guy?

Infighting within the organization results in his escape?
_________________
Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL


Abattoir Chapter 2!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, thank you Jack, a nice different suggestion. As this is experimental, this decision point could also help to decide alot. Does he escape himself, or does someone free him? Does he start killing people yet? I probably should have thought about explaining the D-point better earlier, but if anyone has any other ideas, that maybe don't involve him escaping himself, or just different, then that'd be great. Superb suggestions so far, and I'm really looking forward to starting the next chapter soon! Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, after being kept in a cell for that long, I'd have thought he'd already have been released were it to happen.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Were what to happen?
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Someone was to release him.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

there could be some sort of assault from a rival gang/corporation, or from government soldiers.

The next people to take over from these lot (whatever it is they're doing outside here), probably won't be interested in keeping a semi-starved and crazy stranger in their cells. They'll just kick him out and get on with whatever they were doing.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, the poll is up people! Lot's of luverly choices, some which will affect the course and writing of the story more than others, but they should all present interesting outcomes!

Get voting! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Salutes* Sir, yes Sir.

Voted for improving his acting skills.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Araex
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... how do the trays get taken back at the end of each meal? Or does he just have a growing collection under his bed?

I think we should force ourselves to vomit on the floor, and then haul ourselves up above the door, so that they come to check on the room - nothing there but sick. Then we can elbow-drop someone in the base of the neck (that must be in some kung-fu movie or something), pole-axing them, and then beat up the other guy. Steal keys/guns/armour/clothes and escape!

If we can't add it to the poll, then I'll just vote normally, but I must say, I don't approve of the last three options - they're out of the protaganists control.
Back to top
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surely what you suggested is pretty similar to option two?
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All good choices. I chose the last option, only because I thought it would be the hardest to write. Wink
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Araex wrote:
Hmm... how do the trays get taken back at the end of each meal? Or does he just have a growing collection under his bed?

I think we should force ourselves to vomit on the floor, and then haul ourselves up above the door, so that they come to check on the room - nothing there but sick. Then we can elbow-drop someone in the base of the neck (that must be in some kung-fu movie or something), pole-axing them, and then beat up the other guy. Steal keys/guns/armour/clothes and escape!

If we can't add it to the poll, then I'll just vote normally, but I must say, I don't approve of the last three options - they're out of the protaganists control.


Ok, just to adress the first point, they give him the tray, but when they come to collect the empty bowl and plastic cup, they take the tray as well. He has to push them through the trap door at the base of the door. But he could easily not, and then they would get angry, come in with nightsticks and beat 7 shades of excrement out of him.

And for the second, damn it! I forgot the 'makes himself I'll option'! Sorry people. If anyone wants to vote for that, or change thier vote, then post it here and I'll include thier vote for that.

And for your comment on the last options, that is kind of the point of this SG. Where the first poll's options within the protagonists control? I don't think so. The readers are supposed to dictate what his story is, and those options will go along way to determining his course of action when he is freed. For example, for the 'freed without explanation' option, we can then progress from that to see how he reacts; does it confuse the heck out of him, or does it anger him? Frankly, I want more of those options, as they are how I want the story to be developed.

But thanks for the points! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that's all the readers who have voted. I'll leave it open for another day or two, as Rubber-Duckie is in the same position, and then I'll end the poll. Very Happy
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, heres the new chapter people! Very Happy

Enjoy! :biggrin:

------------------------

One Last Bullet
Chapter Three


So I decided to break my hand again.

I waited until I had the metal food tray from my lunchtime meal hidden under my pillow, and then put on a Bruce Lee and began my routine.

Left, right, left right. Foot back, arm out; right-hand swing. Uppercut.

And then I swung my left fist into the hard wall, cracking not only my fingers but the mortar underneath. I winced a little, but I let a smile spread across my age-worn face. They would have heard that and would soon come running.

I sat down on the bunk, holding my left arm and flexing the fingers that weren’t broken.

The twisted middle and rung finger throbbed slightly, but I ignored it. Let me know I was alive; something I hadn’t felt for a long time. Too long. Time to change that.

I gripped the metal dish as I heard the grate sliding back, and a face appeared in the slit.

“What the fuck was that crash?” Smiling, I turned to face the door and said

“I think I broke my hand. Look.” I brought the broken appendage up and jiggled it about a bit, wincing again as the broken joints ground against each other.

“Aw shit… ok. Hold on, I’m gonna go get the nurse” The grid slid back into place and I heard footsteps pounding away down the corridor outside. I sat patiently on the bed, waiting to hear the footfalls approaching. To tell you the truth, I didn’t hold much stock in my chances of escape; I mean, I’d been there for 6 years and I hadn’t managed it. But I hadn’t been trying very hard before. This time I knew was my last chance; spend much longer cooped away like that and I would go batshit. The uniform walls, the monotonous daily routine. Chuck Norris’ stupid damn face. I couldn’t take it any more.

I heard the guard returning, with another set of, lighter, footsteps, presumably the nurse. I didn’t know what time of day it was, but I knew that there was only one guard on duty, so I assumed that it was the night shift. The grate slid back, the guard looked in and then the door opened.

“Don’t try anything funny.” He gripped his nightstick in his right hand and stood at the door, clearly nervous. A young brunette girl walked in wearing some blue overalls and carrying a small red box with a big + stamped across the front.

She sat down on the floor near the cot and smiled at me. Nothing stirred. No one had smiled at me for 6 years. I hadn’t even seen a woman, let alone a cute young nurse, but it did nothing. Makes me feel sick inside just thinking about it now; how they desensitised me so deeply. I guess I was losing it, but I think it’s fair to say that anyone would have. But, damn, do I hate them for that more than anything. Sick bastards.

She opened her box and took out a bandage, which she placed on the bed next to me. Then she took my left hand in hers and began pulling at all the fingers, real gentle like, one by one. She noted my grimaces when she tugged the middle two then took up the bandage and slowly began to wrap it around the two aching digits. Her touch was so soft and gentle, I remember that clear as day. But at the time I just sat there thinking about the open door and the slight breeze that was wafting through my cell, filtering away all the stale crap I had breathed in and out God-knows how many times. I could taste it; freedom. So I brought my fist up into her face.

Her neck snapped back and I grabbed it. I stood up and flung her into the guard. They sprawled to the floor, the guard’s nightstick sliding out the door as he slammed into the doorframe. I pulled the metal tray out from under the pillow and moved rapidly across the room.

The girl was unconscious, but he looked up into my face, and I saw fear in his eyes. Good. I aimed and slammed the thin edge of the tray into the bone separating the eye sockets. I heard a wrenching snap from his neck as it slammed into the doorway and broke, and felt the bloody mess spray across my hands and up the grey sleeves of my loose cotton shirt. The guard slumped backwards and lay still, his face obscured by the crimson tide pouring from the torn fissure just below the forehead.

I tossed the bent tray to one side and stepped out into the hallway. I breathed deeply, taking the fresh air into my lungs, and pushed it slowly back out again, closing my eyes and smiling as I did. Realising that I could now get free, I opened them again, retrieved the guard’s retractable metal baton and hurried toward the door at the end of the hallway.

Running that length of pale green linoleum, scuffed almost white by countless shoes, felt like an eternity. I was moving forward, faster than I had ever moved before, but I just didn’t seem to be getting any closer. The door just sat there, mocking me, its dull metal staying just out of reach. I fall to my knees. The baton rolls away. Tears fill my eyes and a sob chokes my throat. Running. Walking more than 5 metres. I pounded a fist against the cold floor, just to make sure I could still feel it.

“How moving. How does freedom feel? I bet it ‘aint half as satisfying as you’d hoped.” I looked up, wiping the salt-filled tears from my eyes and cheeks on the bloodstained sleeve. He was standing there, a gnarled hand gripping the twisted chin, always sitting beneath his awful smiling face. There were two men behind him.

“Pathetic, as always; you didn’t even make it to the door. Boys, show our friend back to his cell.” He turned and walked away, the tall men standing to the side as he pushed pass. The door opened for him and he disappeared from view. The door wasn’t beyond reach; he had, and that just gave me all the more reason to go through it after him.

“Should have stayed away you son of a bitch” The two men ignored my remark and began to walk toward me. But I wasn’t going back in the cell; not now, not ever. Too much stucco can kill a man.

The first one stood above me and raised his right arm. I was still on my knees so I brought my elbow up into his groin, slamming hard two times in quick succession. From the look on his face, you’d have thought an atom bomb had gone off between his legs. Hiroshima and Nagasaki per nut, thank you very much. The fist fell, not on my skull, but limply to his side and he crumpled to the floor.

By now the second heavy had moved forward and I felt a sharp blow glance off my right shoulder blade. I leapt up and grabbed the arm as it slid away, and brought my elbow down onto his perfectly straight forearm. There was a sickening snap and the man screamed. I socked him in the side of the head and he fell to the floor. I brought my leg up and sent him reeling from a well placed blow across the temple, a ribbon of blood washing down the bruised cheek that began to pool around the head like a gore-streaked halo.

I ran to the door and this time reached it in no time. It wasn’t locked and swung outwards easily from my sharp push. My right arm and back had begun to throb uncomfortably, from the blow the heavy had managed to land, but I ignored it and continued out.

I was standing in parking lot, the fathomless black sky twinkling far above my head. I stood for a few moments, gazing lamely upwards, but it was reassuring. The air was even fresher outside, and I took in lungful after lungful of cold, crisp night air. I heard a cricket chirp and the distant roar of a car’s engine. Every sound was amplified a thousand times or more, and my head hurt from just trying to take it all in. There was no alarm, or armed guard running toward me. Just the breeze rippling through my long unkempt hair, left uncut for 6 years. And millions of crickets, their incessant chattering beginning to grind on my nerves.

But I had to get away, find out where I was. I ran over to the nearest car; a two-tone Cadillac that whispered sultry nothings in my ear, calling me over. I hadn’t seen a car that beautiful for so long. Funny how I felt no emotion over my first contact with the fairer sex, but I did with first contact with the fairer automobile. I guess we guys think in odd ways, especially after being kept away from everything we knew and held dear. Messes with your head.

I grabbed at the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. I guess I shoulda expected that, but I wasn’t thinking straight. But I didn’t want to break the window of such a perfect car, so I turned to run back to the building. Then I realised how stupid I was acting. I didn’t even know if any of the guys inside had the key! I should just smash the window, hotwire the car and get the hell away.

But then, it was such a nice car. And I hadn’t hotwired anything since I was a God-damned teenager. I spat onto the grey tarmac and cursed at myself for being so indecisive.

--------------------------

Ok, this is going to sound funny, but I want people to discuss what kind of character change he's going to go through when he either smashes the window or goes and tries to find the key to the door. In his overwhelmed mental state, the choice will affect his actions for the rest of the story. I want people to decide which way he's going to get inside the car, and then what this will mean for him. Hope that isn't too silly! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5


Last edited by Solomon Birch on Fri May 05, 2006 12:38 am; edited 3 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The indecision was making me crazy. Rage was building inside my head, screaming with the roar of the rioting mob. I tried to think, but there was only the howling fury, against which I was helpless.

I think I screamed as my fist went through the window glass of the car. My throat was raw afterwards, but I don't remember.

All I remember was the release. Action released the rage as if it were sand through a funnel. The pain in my hand was easier to deal with than the pain in my soul.

I vowed then - no more indecision. No more retreating. It was onward all the way - to wherever that led.

=====

Good decision point, Soily Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OR

He could take a deep breath, count to 10 (fairly quickly) and see if he could find the other guy. Or at least someone to mug.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just break the damned window.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Jack_D.Mented
Respected Citizen



Joined: 22 Jan 2006

Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Chuck Norris’ stupid damn face.


Laughing Great!

But I definitely F5 Lordy on that one. He should become violent, bitter, vengeful, and easily provoked.

At some point, it should become obvious that the reason he's killing these people is less for revenge and more just because he enjoys wasting them.
_________________
Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL


Abattoir Chapter 2!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

chinaren wrote:
OR

He could take a deep breath, count to 10 (fairly quickly) and see if he could find the other guy. Or at least someone to mug.


What do you mean by the other guy? Confused
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
“Pathetic, as always; you didn’t even make it to the door. Boys, show our friend back to his cell.” He turned and walked away, the tall men standing to the side as he pushed pass. The door opened for him and he disappeared from view. The door wasn’t beyond reach; he had, and that just gave me all the more reason to go through it after him.


Him.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, right, I get cha! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
DukeReg
Citizen



Joined: 12 Oct 2005

Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smash window now!
Moving forward he should be driven by the necessity to do things immediately; not in a day, not in 5 minutes, NOW!
_________________
Duke Reg

Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Araex
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We've spent the last six years doing nothing - now is not the time to dally, turning around. Let's smash stuff!
Back to top
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 11:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The poll is up for four days, so get voting you lot! Very Happy

As an example of how the voting will effect his character, if the non-smashy options wins, what he did to that nurse will dawn on him and it will embed itself within his mind. He will hate himself for what he did, it will bring back memories of his wife, and thus his child. It will make him cautious and with morals, but angry.

The other option will.... fuck him up. Shocked
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Araex
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's feck him up royally!
Back to top
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I think we're all looking for the mentally fucked up character - or at least another one.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Way to sway a vote Soily.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2006 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sway a vote? Me? Never! Wink

If people still want to post ideas about what the specifics behind his decision will be, then feel free, as there weren't that many before the poll.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen



Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I'm back folks. Chapter 4 is underway as we speak; option 1 (go fecking nuts) won. Our protag is now right royally f*cked up, and you lot have yourselves to congratulate for that. Wink

I hope I can get interest going for this story again. Expect some more CRAZY DP's in the future. When I think of them, that is. This is a creative process that takes time, patience and OH ALL RIGHT I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED!!

There! Happy now? Shocked
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Guest









Items

PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find this funny........

Kidding, I agree with Demented above me. Plus, looks cooler with the mask! Cool
Back to top
Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic       Storygames Home -> The Archives All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group. Forum design by mtechnik, customized by City of IF
All site content © City of IF or the respective storygame authors.   Terms of use
Home   Book   Storygames   FAQ   Greek myth   About   Policies