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Glassbreaker Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next   (currently a favorite of )    Storygames Home -> -> The Archives View previous topic :: View next topic   Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 10:48 pm    Post subject: Glassbreaker A new story finally is up by yours truly. It was a plot bunny that kept popping out of its rabbit hole. I tried to add some humor into it, but I must admit I am horrible at writing such things. Being sarcastic and cynical seems to be my only window to being humorous. Chapter 1 “Seems like a murder, Caroline,” a burly man commented to his partner as he chewed on the tobacco in his mouth. He was dressed simply in jeans and a polo shirt with a leather bomber jacket as added warmth to the brisk November weather. In contrast to the man standing, the red-haired woman he addressed was kneeling on the ground, dressed in a turquoise blouse and gray slacks. The woman got to her feet, and calmly pretended to brush off the supposed bits of dust that had gathered on the shirt. “That may be, Dan, but we need a motive,” Caroline replied as she lifted the bright yellow warning tape that surrounded their only piece of evidence that lay next to the outline figure. “But broken pieces of glass don’t tell much.” She accepted the notebook Dan handed her, and quickly opened it to a fresh page. Plucking the pen that had been nestled behind her ear, she quickly jotted down some observations of the crime scene. “We will have to wait for the coroner’s report, but it may be that our victim was hit on the head with something made of glass. A bottle, perhaps? A picture frame? The possibilities are a great too many.” Caroline finished her furious scribbling and shut the notebook with a loud snap. “Best start looking a bit more around this place,” she observed as she looked about the magnificent dance hall with its high ceilings, and mirrored walls. As they headed for one of the doors off to the side of the dance floor, a shrill voice could be heard demanding to know what was going on from one of the police officers in the reception area. “I am the owner of this establishment, so it is within my right to know what is going on,” a petite, gray-haired woman angrily stormed as she stomped into the main dance hall with a blustering officer following behind her. The woman wore a neon pink leotard, and her hair was in a tight bun. “That is a pretty hot costume,” whispered Dan to his partner as he watched the woman continue her rant to the frustrated officer. “It is, if you have an appeal for someone, who dresses in 80s-like clothing,” retorted Caroline. “Then again, she looks to match the age for someone from that decade, so maybe I should not be surprised by your attention to her. I best go save Williams or else he will be deaf for the rest of his life.” “Hey, I think hot pink is cool!” Dan yelled back to Caroline, who was already walking away from him. She just waved her hand, never turning back to see if he followed. Caroline reached the middle of the dance hall, where the pair had stopped. The bizarrely dressed woman was still going on about her right as the owner to know everything going on her company, even though it was mostly funded by her deceased husband -Sweet George’s- money. Caroline allowed the woman to go until it became noticeable that she had begun to repeat her rant for another round. Another reason for her interruption was that Dan, who had caught up to her, had been mumbling about how “hell would have to freeze over before the damn woman stopped talking.” The police officer that had followed the woman into the room glanced over at Caroline, and gave her an exasperated look. In turn, Caroline gave him an encouraging smile, and nodded to him. The woman speaking noticing that she no longer had an attentive audience, turned to glare at Caroline. “I hope you aren’t a potential student. You have an awful figure for a dancer,” she sniffed contemptuously. ”Stand up straight, chin up. Keep those shoulders down.” Caroline forced a smile in the response to the snide mark about her figure. She would have liked to slap the woman across the face, but duty took priority over personal feelings. “I thank you for the compliment, Miss…? Perhaps you can give me your name, and then maybe I will contact you later about those dance lessons. I always wanted to learn how to tango. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to make my partners collapse to floor along with me when it comes to the bending over the arm movement.” Caroline smiled when she saw the woman’s face turn a light pink in response to the self-reproof. “Please, excuse my partner’s manners, Ms. Roxy,” Dan cut in smoothly. He gave Caroline a stern look, but the severity in it was broken when his mouth turned upwards in a smile. “I am Detective Howard, and this most obliging woman is Detective Osherow. I believe we talked on the phone earlier this week about similar events like this one happening in the past few months.” The woman, whom Dan had addressed as Ms. Roxy, looked eyed the two detectives warily. “I remember talking to you, that is all, Detective. Since the first murder only a few months ago, many a place has had some sort of strange incidents involving broken glass being next to the victim.” Dan nodded in understanding. Once the woman had started talking, Caroline already had her notebook out, and was talking notes. As the woman continued, she observed Ms. Roxy. Sweat ran down her forehead, and the woman quickly wiped it away, never interrupting her dialogue. Her speech pattern was a bit faulty, but her point got across soon enough. “Let me understand this. You said here that you were not in this place between last night when the last class ended at 11 PM, and 8 this morning. Who then could have entered here between those times? Are there classes before 8 that you do not attend to?” Caroline asked carefully as she looked down at the petite woman. The woman’s alibi was that she had taken the week off, and had just recently returned. When question about how she knew of the murders going around town, she admitted to having kept in touch with friends while on her vacation. “No one is supposed to enter this place after it is locked,” Ms. Roxy answered shortly. “I carry around one key, and I keep a spare in the flowerpot outside the front. The other teachers that use this facility, Señor Malaqués and Madam Dempsey, keep to their own schedules, which I do not know of. You will have to talk with each of them yourselves as to get their whereabouts.” The theme song for Pinky and the Brain suddenly broke the solemn air around the group. Caroline blushed a bright red and quickly moved away from the conversation with a muttered apology, and brought her tiny cell phone close to her ear. “Do you have their contact information on hand that we may use to reach them?” Dan asked, ignoring his partner’s garbled talk to whomever was on the other end. “I believe there are business cards in the front lobby that has that kind of information. If we are done speaking, I must call my students scheduled for today, and tell them that our class has been cancelled,” and with that, she headed off into one of the alcoves of the hall, her toes always pointed out when her leg was in the straightened position. “Reminds me of how an ostrich would move if it moved on its toes constantly,” Dan commented with a grin as he watched the woman leave. “So who called you thus allowing us all the pleasure of hearing the cute Pinky and the Brain theme song once again after nearly a decade?” Caroline gave Dan a frown as she shut her phone with a loud clap. “It was the coroner. He found something interesting that was not been seen in the bodies of the previous victims. Something to do with the choice of weapon. Did your hot pink lady give you any more information?” “No more than usual,” Dan answered. “Told me to go find the information for the other dance instructors myself. And from the direction she headed, there may be other rooms in this place.” Caroline glanced around the room carefully. It just seemed like a giant rectangle filled with mirrors, yet this place seemed to say much more. She glanced at the chalk outline of the body laid out on the ground. “Dan, our victim was a sixteen-year old girl. The youngest one so far in these series of what, I guess, we must call murders. I don’t think we can just call these cases homicides anymore.” Dan’s laughing manner changed to one of disbelief as he took in the information. “You mean to tell me that there is someone out there killing people with a motive? They all looked like accidents from all the earlier calls we have received.” Caroline eyed Dan seriously. “That is exactly what I am talking about. We just need to find the connection between them all. There is a someone hanging around this place putting cracks in people’s lives.” A/N:Well? What do you think should be done? The choice is yours, dear readers. Choose wisely, for there may be another victim soon enough that will have found their life lines clipped. Other comments are welcome...as long as they are constructive and do not criticize other comments from others. Clues -glass found on dance floor -Ms. Roxy: ownder of dance hall where glass was found -other cases have similar evidence: glass next to victim -dance hall closed between 11PM-8AM (according to Ms. Roxy) -spare key outside dance hall entrance -choice of weapon different for this case unlike others -victim was a 16 year old girl -case no longer a homicide -earlier cases look like accidents _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Last edited by Ravenwing on Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:31 pm; edited 9 times in total Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 11:52 pm    Post subject: Good start, Rave. I've always liked mysteries. Never any good at 'em though I think the basic police work has been done, yeah? Forensics, pathology, all that stuff? We need more information. There's the possibility of going back and studying the combined cases for similarities, patterns, geography, methodology etc. Or we could examine this building for any way that the murderer could have got in, any signs of the murder weapon etc. Told you I was no good at mysteries Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 4:11 am    Post subject: Excellent descriptions! But I was just wondering what's the difference between murder and homicide? I always thought they were the same. And what's wrong with Pinky and the Brain. I used to love that show. Brain brain brain brain...zoink. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:52 am    Post subject: I think it becomes a murder when it's been confirmed, and is a homicide when it's only a suspected murder. Though I could be wrong. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:12 am    Post subject: Maybe homicide is any killing, including accidents (like "negligent homicide") or self-defense, and murder is deliberate. Nice beginning, Rave. I like mysteries, too. Some things seem pretty obvious. If the key is in a flowerpot outside the front door, anybody could have got in, no problem there. Also it doesn't seem possible for it to be an accident, unless the blow on the head that killed her was from a big glass chandelier which is lying smashed on the floor (with a hole in the ceiling above) - but you don't say that, so I assume that's not it. We need to know a little more about the victim, though. Was she a student at the studio? Why would she be there in the night? And were all the other victims related in any way? All teenage girls, for example? Why were these other deaths accepted as accidents, if they were? We don't have much to go on yet. Keep it coming! Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:43 pm    Post subject: Murder; The unlawful killing of one human by another, especially with premeditated malice Homicide; The killing of one person by another Anyway's, great start there. Can't think of anything right now, so I shall return if anything comes to mind. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:06 pm    Post subject: I've decided to comment as I go along so as to not miss stuff out. Be warned... "Being sarcastic and cynical seems to be my only window to being humorous." Sounds good enough for me "“That may be, Dan, be we need a motive,” " but? "“It is, if you have an appeal for someone, who dresses in clothing from the 80s,”" This seems a bit slow and cumbersome for a retort... too many words and commas. "her deceased husband -Sweet George’s- money" Lovely interjection. "Pinky and the Brain" Hmmm... many good bits. For the decision... (what does A/N mean?) Have we got an ident on the vic yet? Two things: 1] We should look around for who knows where the key is kept, asking the other teachers the same question. et 2] We should try and find any similiarities between the victims: bars/nightclubs attended, nearby residences, friends, clubs (art/dance/drama/whatever). Am I right in thinking all the murder scenes have had glass? We should try and match the glass together or something. Anyhoo... nice opening. Looking forwards to more. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:00 pm    Post subject: *wallows in the comments* Thanks everyone. I have always loved mysteries, but have never written one. Glad to see the positive responses. Muaddib, Solie here answered your question about murders and homicides. I had to use a dictionary to make sure I was using the correct terms. Many people seem to be questioning about the purpose of the glass. When Caroline was listing off things made of glass, she was offering ideas for what may be potential weapons. The thing is the glass could be just a calling card for the murderer. That will be answered later. As for information about the girl, and the previous murder sites, information will have to be obtained from HQ. And yes, Shady, it can be said that most of the police work has been done. Caroline and Dan just need to hear back about what was found out from the evidence. Already through the coroner, there is something suspicious about this case. Quote: "“It is, if you have an appeal for someone, who dresses in clothing from the 80s,”" This seems a bit slow and cumbersome for a retort... too many words and commas. Too many commas, you say. I put them in there as pauses. I will do some rewording. So many questions. I like that. Means I have opened the story well with what I have given. I will tell you all this. Each question will be answered. As to when and how soon, well, that depends on where we move to next. I offered some suggestions in this chapter. I will add a poll up in a few days. Definitely before the weekend, since I will be away for a funeral. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:46 pm    Post subject: Thanks Soiled One, it cleared up a few things. I think negligent homicide is manslaughter. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:18 pm    Post subject: Okay, poll is up! I have given you a limit of 5 days. Hopefully by then I shall be able to check on the decision, and then write the chapter out soon enough. Most of the suggestions have the pair going back to the station, so don't worry if it isn't stated. But also I left the choices pretty open because there are more ways than one to find out information. If I have forgotten a choice, tell me, and I will add it the list. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:27 pm    Post subject: Voted for finding connections. :biggrin: _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:01 pm    Post subject: Voted, and winning. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 7:35 pm    Post subject: I voted for checking the building for clues. Seems much better than just going back and forth haphazardly. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:45 am    Post subject: Hmm. The vote looks to be leaning toward looking for connections between similar murder cases. I will check the poll again later tonight. And if that is still the leading choice I will start writing the second chapter. Therefore the chapter will be up either Sunday or Monday. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:45 am    Post subject: I said explore - first things first. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:00 am    Post subject: Okay. Maybe I will wait the full five days...I am just eager to write this next chapter. Nah, I will write the chapter tomorrow based on the poll tonight. Sorry for cutting the poll short, people. Votes in tonight. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 1:20 pm    Post subject: Right, Araex. Other info can wait - evidence can disappear or be muddled if you don't get to it soon. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:43 pm    Post subject: Okay, I am closing this poll. All votes cast after 7:41 PST, or 10:41 EST (that is what my computer says) are void. Look for the next chapter either Sunday or Monday. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:27 am    Post subject: Here is Chapter 2. Internet was not working is my excuse as to why this chapter was not up yesterday. I should just warn you all beforehand that any mockery in this story is just that. Chapter 2 “You know maybe in a few years we will find something,” Dan mused as he leaned back in his chair. Another cigarette was stuck between his teeth as he longingly looked through the blinds at the grey sky outside. He felt claustrophobic cooped behind his desk looking through pages of old case files. Dan would have rather been out in the field with the other officers looking for clues around the Roxy dance studio, but he caved in after Caroline gave him a stern lecture that not all police work meant time on the field. The newspaper from a few days ago was somewhere buried in the piles of folders covering his desk and Caroline’s reporting on the young girl’s murder. As a joke, the writer of the article offered the hint that maybe the police force should try piecing together all the broken glass found at all the murder sites, and then their culprit would be found. Dan had to restrain Caroline from storming toward the newspaper’s office only several blocks down the street. Dan’s face broke into a grin at the memory. Personally, he found the writer’s humor quite amusing. He knew the young writer only meant to help in some way. Actually any help would be most useful now, Dan thought letting his face fall. He glared at the pile in front of him. Since their investigation at the studio only a few days earlier, very few clues had come up. The plastic bags protecting both the glass pieces, and several bobby pins, found inside the victim’s cubby in the studio, from contamination sat on the chair in the far corner untouched by either detective. “Hand me the glass pieces,” Caroline ordered, breaking the silence. She didn’t even look up from what she was looking at when a bewildered Dan gently placed the bag holding the glass next to her elbow. “What do you need the glass for?” Dan asked as he looked over her shoulder. In front of her, Caroline had placed pictures of earlier victims in chronological order. Each picture showed the victim with the several pieces of glass lying next to their prone body. “Sorry to burst your moment of Eureka! before it happens, but we already know that glass was next to each victim,” Dan spoke with exasperation. “Are you sure the coffee is keeping you awake?” He eyed the stack of Styrofoam cups sitting perilously at the edge of the woman’s desk. Unlike him, who was a grouch in the morning, Caroline had been at her desk every morning, a cup of coffee in hand as she shifted through the pile, which only grew as they dug up more files with similar cases in other neighboring towns. “Are you a superstitious person?” Caroline asked calmly, ignoring his pointed questions. Dan looked up from the pictures. “What does that have to do with anything about this case? Don’t tell me you think this has something to do with the paranormal.” Caroline gave Dan a quelling look as she stretched her arms behind her head. The sweater together with the corduroy pants made her appearance too sophisticated for weekend work session made up of reading old files. The knit sweater she wore lifted a bit to reveal the black Glock 17 resting nicely in its holster at her waist. Like her, Dan carried the same make of gun, but perhaps not with as much seriousness in mind. He glanced at the desk drawer where his own Glock 17 lay, ready for action when he did go out into the field. The tapping of long nails on worn wood reminded him of what kind of person his partner was. To him, she would always be the same difficult to understand Caroline. Dan lifted his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay. I will admit to you I am superstitious. Although, I thought you already knew that.” He gave Caroline a grin in hopes it would break her stern expression. “You have seen me. I never walk under ladders, and I avoid black cats as much as possible,” he continued in a matter-of-fact manner. For a moment, he thought he saw her eyes crinkle in the corners, but it faded quickly. Dan reached over her for a file that was resting precariously on top of the pile. “How does my superstitious beliefs fit into this broken glass case?” Dan asked as he moved the file he saved to another smaller stack. He then pushed some of the other folders into a bigger mess to clear some space on the desk, so he could sit and face Caroline without having to look over the mountain between their desks. “Nothing whatsoever. Just needed some conversation.” Dan saw Caroline frown at his actions. He glanced over at what he had done, and had to hold his stomach in case he burst out laughing. The mountain that had been there earlier had collapsed and had sent folders scattering all over the floor. "Will you stop your childish antics?” Caroline snapped. “Damn, I forgot how cheeky you get when you haven’t spoken in a while.” Dan forced what he hoped was his best repentant look, and bowed his head in obedience. Abruptly, Caroline stood up, her hands clasped behind her back, and started pacing the small office, delicately avoiding the fallen folders. At the same time, she tried ignoring Dan, who had began to fan himself with one of the folders in a big wave motion thus sending loose papers flying off her desk. “Each victim has met the same fate in all those pictures, except our most recent one,” she began. “Unlike the others, who died from unexplainable accidents, according to the coroner, our most recent victim died from a deliberate blow to the head thus causing some internal bleeding around the brain. If we are to assume that this is the work of the same person then that would mean that their game plan changed somewhere between their last murder and this past one.” “But we haven’t found that difference,” Dan interrupted. He stopped waving the folder and instead pointed it at Caroline. “Why, the difference could be that the murderer decided to focus on girls that had hair an inch shorter than the last one!” Caroline paused for a moment at Dan’s wayward comment. “Dan, you could be a genius!” Dan stared at her for a moment. There must have been something in her coffee this morning, he thought. “There may be no connection, this could be just the work of a copycat.” Dan watched as she grabbed the pencil from behind her ear, nearly stabbing herself in the process and then begin writing furiously in the notebook that never strayed far from her. “I talked to Williams yesterday as soon as he came back from the dance studio while you were out talking to the two other instructors,” she spoke as a way of explanation. Dan just sat there as she spoke to him, still trying to understand how his one comment about hair length lead Caroline to the conclusion that there was no connection between the cases. “From what I gleaned from him, was that the extra key, Ms. Roxy talked about, you know the one supposedly in the flowerpot out front, is not there. Either way, that front door was certainly opened somehow. Did you get anything from the other two instructors?” Caroline turned to glance at Dan, who was still dazed at her change in tone. Outside the office, raised voices could be heard. “Never mind, Dan, you can tell me later. Go out there and see what is going on, I can’t think straight with all the noise,” Caroline ordered. She didn’t bother to look behind her to see if her partner followed her instructions. Instead she just looked outside the window at the grey afternoon sky. She had been in the office since eight in the morning with her usual cup of coffee sitting beside her as she read over the case files. Each one told the same story until the most recent case came up. Since the announcement of this case in the paper, the whole town seemed to be in an uproar. This place was supposed to be a quiet place, where petty crimes like theft were the norm. But now, with all the publicity of the numerous murders and a likely connection had every person jumping to their feet with outrage. Took them long enough to figure out ‘tis time to react, Caroline thought cynically. She had hoped that with the case being the paper, someone would be able to shed light on whom the victim was. Not knowing the girl’s identity, the police just called the girl, Jane Doe, the technical name used when a female victim’s identity is unknown. “That was my niece in that photo!” A tearful voice cried breaking through Caroline’s quiet moment. “Please, calm down, madam,” Caroline could hear Dan say comfortingly to whomever was outside the door. The sobs turned into short sniffles as the person tried to gather herself together. Caroline identified the Chief’s gruff voice telling the stranger that the police force had their best men on the case, and that anything the person had to tell would be most helpful. The door to the office quietly clicked open. Caroline turned to see a sedate, pretty looking woman walk in with Dan following behind. “When your chief said he had his best men on the case for my niece, I didn’t realize he meant his best was female,” the newcomer said with a sniff. “You better find whoever killed Sandy.” “My partner and I will try our best,” Caroline answered diplomatically as she sat behind her desk. From one of the desk drawers, she took out a tape recorder. Caroline also moved aside the folders cluttering her desk, and she shifted herself, so she could take a better look at the woman. “Madam, whatever you can tell us about your niece would be most helpful.” A faint click of a button started the tape. The woman nodded as she tried to contain her tears. Dan courteously handed her a tissue. “Like I said before, I am Sandy’s aunt, Mrs. Walcombe. Sandy was the dearest girl, and I thought of her as my own. Independent and free were the two characteristics that described her best. She was a superb dancer, signed her up for lessons at the dance studio-Roxy’s, I think was the name-on the spot when the talent began to show, even though I feared it would lead her to trouble like my sister. Anything she wanted, I gave it to her.” As Mrs. Walcombe continued to describe her saint-like niece, Caroline learned that Sandy came from a dancing background. Apparently, Mrs. Walcombe’s elder sister had run off to New York in hopes of being a star when she was 15 and instead ended up becoming a teen mother. To make a living for herself and her child, Shirley worked in the nightclubs as one of the dancers. Dan interrupted asking Mrs. Walcombe how she knew all of this about her elder sister if she had never been in contact with her family since running away from home. The woman opened her purse, and handed him a yellowed piece of paper. “Before Shirley died, she sent a single letter home explaining all that happened to her. She begged my parents to forgive her, and to take care of their granddaughter. They never did. I was married by then, and having no children myself, I took Sandy in and treated her as my sister would have. She was about four years old at that time.” She bowed her head at the memory. Caroline stood up, her hand outstretched. “Your information has shed a bright light on this case, Mrs. Walcombe, and I thank you. You will not mind if the letter remains in police hands, so that we can examine it more thoroughly?” The woman raised her head slowly. “Keep the letter. It has too many memories. I hope I have your oath you will find whoever did this dirty deed.” And with those words, the woman left the room. “Dan, what do you make of this situation?” Caroline asked as she pressed the rewind button on the tape player. Dan looked up from the letter he was examining, pinched the bridge of his nose before answering. “Well, that was certainly some story,” he began. “It had me close to tears.” He lifted his sleeve to the corner of his eye. “I hope we can find whoever did this.” Disgusted, Caroline handed Dan a tissue when she saw the tears had begun to creep down his face. “You didn’t hear the wrongness in the story?” Caroline asked. “How did you become one of us?” She muttered. A smile broke through Dan’s tear stricken face. “I was lucky. I only needed a college degree, a driver’s license, and qualification to carry a firearm. Of course the idea of eating a lot of donuts helped also, but I didn’t put that on my application.” Caroline just shook her head, and started picking through one of the folders. His dark hair sticking out in odd places, and dressed in a faded pair of jeans and a worn grey sweatshirt made Dan look out of place among the mess of case files. He reminded her more of her younger brother, who sat in the plush chair, watching television all day on most weekends. How did the chief choose him? Tissue still in hand, and his face a bit red from crying, Dan sat in the chair that Mrs. Walcombe had vacated only a few moments earlier. “You asked whether or not I interviewed the two other teachers earlier before the woman’s hysteric disturbed us, and I did, but none made mention of a girl named Sandy being on their roster, nor had they ever seen her when I described the girl. Although, I did find these at both instructor’s residences.” Dan held up two plastic bags, each with a copper key inside. A/N: What to do next? That is your choice. Add a few suggestions and comments. Clues -glass peices from behind -bobby pins in vicitim's cubby in the dance studio -earlier victims had glass next to their bodies (certain from pictures) -unfortunate accidents cause of death for earlier victims -Victim, Sandy died from a deliberate blow to the head from a blunt object -connection going on: work of a copycat -extra key outside studio missing -Ms. Walcombe: victim's aunt, younger sister to Shirley, adopted niece when the girl was 4 -story implausible to Caroline -Two sets of keys that may open the front door to the dance studio found in each of the instructor's residences. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Last edited by Ravenwing on Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:55 am; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:48 am    Post subject: Good chapter Rave; really getting a feel for the characters now. Hmmm, lot's of things we could do now. Dan could go and try and find out what the keys unlock, either by asking the instructors he got them off, or doing some spangly police technique to determine their origin or whatnot. Otherwise, they could try and look into this Sandy person, running her name through the missing persons database, trying to find some hint of her existence. And they could run the fingerprints of the newest victim in the system and see what they get (although they may have already done this...) *holds breath* © _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:46 am    Post subject: Quote: To him, she would always be the same difficult to understand Caroline. I think you've got an extra word in here. And I agree with Soily, try to find out what the keys are for. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:48 am    Post subject: I think we ought to find out more about this 'Aunt'. She's probably lying about Sandy and we need to find out what her motivation is. What's in it for her? I'd agree with finding out about the keys, though. That could be done in conjunction Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:52 am    Post subject: Good chapter, answering some questions. I still would like to know what this broken glass looks like. Is it a mirror (question about superstition), a flat pane like a window, a drinking glass or what? A few technicalities: "A few day’s old newspaper was somewhere" sounds confusing - maybe "a recent newspaper" or "a newspaper a few days old" or "a newspaper from a few days ago" "a cup coffee in hand" "of" missing Glock 17 lied, guns don't talk - it LAY! “What does my superstitious beliefs have to do anything with the What do my.......have to do with or Why does my... belief have anything to do with person tried to gather themselves together. herself and I thought her as my own. "of" missing She was superb dancer, signed her up for lessons "a" missing there was also a "whom" that should have been "who" but I can't see it now I'll probably have more questions about the story when I read it again - again, good start.I'm enjoying it Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:24 pm    Post subject: And I thought I gave it a good read over... "Glock 17 lied, guns don't talk - it LAY!" Argh. I hate English. I really do. It's so damn confusing. Thanks for catching the errors, Mother Goose. Keep the comments coming. I was afraid I put too much information in this chapter. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:35 pm    Post subject: Nice chapter, I really like the character development going on. No great ideas from me really (I'm far too tired to think properly ) but I would agree with doing a background check on the aunt and investigating the keys. Back to top Author Kalanna Rai Assassin for Hire Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Posts: 3102 Location: The Frozen North Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:01 pm    Post subject: Glad I caught up with this one... _________________ "It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..." "Music makes you braver." Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:21 pm    Post subject: 'Tis good to see you here, Rai. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:02 am    Post subject: You didn't put too much information in this chapter - I'm still full of questions. Is it so, then, that all the previous victims have been girls, or at least female? I'm inferring this from the "length of hair" comment. I'd still like to know how they died, that was taken as accidental. How many of them were there? Also what do the glass pieces look like? I do see a problem with the"aunt's" story. If Shirley left home at fifteen, became a teen mother, and died when her child was four, that makes her younger sister pretty young to be already married and willing to take in the orphan. Possible, but.... I'll be back when I think of more. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:31 am    Post subject: mmm, I am following this one, but I can't add anything (meaningful anyway) to the above. I will just sit back and watch others do the work here! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 11:48 am    Post subject: Mother Goose wrote: You didn't put too much information in this chapter - I'm still full of questions. Is it so, then, that all the previous victims have been girls, or at least female? I'm inferring this from the "length of hair" comment. I'd still like to know how they died, that was taken as accidental. How many of them were there? Also what do the glass pieces look like? I do see a problem with the"aunt's" story. If Shirley left home at fifteen, became a teen mother, and died when her child was four, that makes her younger sister pretty young to be already married and willing to take in the orphan. Possible, but.... I'll be back when I think of more. You're really delving into this story, Mother Goose. To make a few clarifications. What the glass pieces look like is really immaterial, but if you're curious I will describe them perhaps next chapter. But right now, neither Caroline or Dan can't make out what the pieces mean. So I can't tell you much about them. As for all the victims being female, yes. Telling you that, won't hurt the story I know. Not to be bias to male ballet dancers, but this town is bias. And as for the aunt's story. We don't whether or not to take it at face value. And when I said teen mother, I meant sort of around 17 or 18. Does that sort of help sort things out? I know there will be a lot of questions, but I can't answer all of them until my characters figure find the answer. I hope to have a poll up tomorrow, Saturday at the latest. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Last edited by Ravenwing on Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:14 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 7:12 pm    Post subject: Interesting story so far! You seem to be running into many of the difficulties I imagined I would have if I were to attempt a murder mystery. A world of variables! In part, it is difficult to formulate a plan to get to the bottom of this one because we don't have all the information that a detective would have, and some of the information we've been given has been through inferance rather than explicit, further confusing a would be detective. Obviously, prints would have been ran at the scene, the glass itself would have been run, analyzed etc. Sure we can look into the people surrounding the case, and yes, thats exactly where we should begin is by asking questions of anyone and everyone who may have known the victim or have any intrinsic knowledge of the crime scene. The keys are an interesting lead... he found those at the gal's appartment? OK, so there are so many things to do at once in this sort of scenario that it's hard to say what the best thing to do NEXT would be. I like having so many options, but its hard when there is so little to go on to make a decision in prioritorizing them. Good story though, and a progressive attempt into a difficult genre. However, I found that it was a bit hard for me to separate the plot and the details of the case, from the descriptions of the character interactions and environments. In other words, since we need to analyze the data of the case to make valid decision considerations, your powerful usage of descriptive terminology becomes a bit of a hindrance. You write very well, however, in a situation where we need to be more analytical, you are inspiring a great deal of right brained activity, making it hard to use the left. Make sense? I, too felt that the characters really came out in this chapter and much of that was due to your strengths in dialogue and descriptive nuances. Therefore, it is also necessary to continue using that artistic strength of yours. The solution could be to offer a cold, explicit synopsis of exactly what has been learned after each chapter. It would help me to see exactly where we stand in the plot and give me an idea of what to do next. I hope my comments have been helpful. Thanks for your friendly involvement in Pillbox, I appreciate it greatly! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:21 pm    Post subject: Ravagerrr wrote: Interesting story so far! Thanks. Quote: You seem to be running into many of the difficulties I imagined I would have if I were to attempt a murder mystery. A world of variables! Well, thats all we get. We just need to connect the pieces. Quote: The keys are an interesting lead... he found those at the gal's appartment? Check again. Quote: Good story though, and a progressive attempt into a difficult genre. Thanks. I have always loved reading mysteries, so I thought I would try my hand at writing one. And, yeah, I agree it's pretty hard to write. You have to put out the facts at the right time, and that's hard. Quote: However, I found that it was a bit hard for me to separate the plot and the details of the case, from the descriptions of the character interactions and environments. In other words, since we need to analyze the data of the case to make valid decision considerations, your powerful usage of descriptive terminology becomes a bit of a hindrance. You write very well, however, in a situation where we need to be more analytical, you are inspiring a great deal of right brained activity, making it hard to use the left. Make sense? I didn't notice that all... I guess that is because I am the writer. I actually would think my right brain would be doing less work than my left 'cause other than writing, I have no artistic skill whatsoever. Since you say I need to be more analytical, am I that far off? I thought the analysis of the connection between the cases was pretty much a logical left-brain thinking. You must admit though that it was necessary to add a little creativity to it, lest it be a boring droll from the character. Quote: I, too felt that the characters really came out in this chapter and much of that was due to your strengths in dialogue and descriptive nuances. Therefore, it is also necessary to continue using that artistic strength of yours. I was looking for that in my characters. I have analyzed my writing over the years since I was 12 when I first started writing, and realized how bland my characters are. I am glad each character is standing out. I think thats what a mystery is all about. Characterization. We have to understand what the character is like, and how they would react in a situation, and anything else that comes their way. Quote: The solution could be to offer a cold, explicit synopsis of exactly what has been learned after each chapter. It would help me to see exactly where we stand in the plot and give me an idea of what to do next. I hope my comments have been helpful. Thanks for your friendly involvement in Pillbox, I appreciate it greatly! I will try to do that. If it would help you, I am sure it will help the other readers. Your comments have been most helpful. Thanks for the long post. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 2:08 am    Post subject: Oooh! Idea! Now that we know who the vic is, can we go and search her apartment? See if there are any clues there, specifically anything relating to things found in other victims' residences - which we can go investigate too if we haven't done before. Back to top Author CunningFox Citizen Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 210 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:25 am    Post subject: This is a cool story Ravenwing. don't knw if it is in the right forum though, i was expecting a comedy! Anyway, don't have anymore to add yet, i will keep waiting like the others. _________________ Just browsing, thank-you. Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:41 am    Post subject: To be honest, I hate criticizing, and I'm glad you took my response so positively, as that was my intent. I don't know if you were "off" per-se as far as being logical. I felt you were very logical. I just found it difficult to determine what was going on throughout all the descriptive sceneplay. Some of it may have been my waning attention span tho. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:29 am    Post subject: Okay, when I said I would have the poll up on Saturday, I meant today? I couldn't get online last night. I PMed Shady, so the new poll should be up soon. I hope to keep it for 4 days once its up, then I will start to write the next chapter. Araex, I added your idea to the poll. CunningFox-Thanks. But this is also the Experimental forum, so this was where the story fit best. Rav-I don't like to criticize things either, but when I do, I hope that authors take them as suggestions. Anyways, I will take your suggestion on putting a synopsis of what has been found out and do something with it. I don't really want to do a full one because that may ruin the story. But I will do something creative with it. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 3:59 pm    Post subject: Wow, I think this has reached 2 pages. And I have yet to write the 3rd chapter.... Anyways, I have put up the poll for Chapter 2!! You have 4 days as of today! _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 4:51 pm    Post subject: Well, there was no - 'all of the above option', so I just voted. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 7:13 pm    Post subject: Bob Thwack! I think it is time for some serious interogation. Bring on the rubber hoses! Oh yeah. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu May 25, 2006 12:15 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:35 pm    Post subject: lordofthenight wrote: Well, there was no - 'all of the above option', so I just voted. Well, you see I know all of the above are going to happen, but which one is going to be center point of the chapter? And if you noticed, I sort of incorporated all the choices in the last chapter from the first poll. I will probably do the samething. Oh, I forgot to add, if you have any other suggestions to add to the poll, give a shout. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:31 pm    Post subject: Okay, I voted for looking into the aunt. But I hope we will get to know what they find out. I hate to complain, but I think Dan and Caroline must know something of the previous incidents, which we the readers do not. When the vote was for going over the files on those cases, I thought we would hear what they learned. For instance: what kind of accidents were they regarded as? Accidental drownings? Poisonings? Falls (indoors or out)? Automobile accidents? Or a variety? You mention that they were all "prone" - did you mean that, or were some of them supine, or even on their side? If they were all in the same position, is that significant? Over what period of time have these "accidents" been happening, years or days? Were the victims of all ages and all walks of life? Maybe this type of thing has been hinted at, but I'm not so good at subtle, and I feel very much in the dark. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:33 pm    Post subject: A lot of questions, MG. I guess I held too much back when it came to divulging information. I will have to work on that. I think the one significant evidence we have is the glass, and how our most recent victim, Sandy, died. I shall probably make mention of her a bit more next chapter. I think I mentioned in the first chapter that these cases had been happening over a period of a few months. But they all had that same mysterious outcome thus leaving them as unsolved cases. I think most of the questions you ask now, can easily be answered in the next chapter, MG. I will try to get you of the dark and into the light. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:00 am    Post subject: Can't wait! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject: *prepares a fishline and a rod to fish MG out of the dark hole* _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: *Grabs hook and hangs on for dear life* Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:02 am    Post subject: I think the line is straining. Don't worry we will get you out...somehow. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:07 pm    Post subject: Looks like the poll has ended. And the decision has been made to question the dance instructors again, this time focused around the victim Sandy. Look for chapter 3, hopefully by this weekend. I will need to fit this in with a paper, and a viewing of the cherry blossoms in DC. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:41 am    Post subject: Okay, I definitely don't have the next chapter done yet. I can't promise when it will come up, but I have begun writing it. Sometime today, I will edit each of the chapters by putting in all the clues found in each of them. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:34 am    Post subject: Loved the new chapter by the way. Although I missed the poll by a huge margin. Sorry, Ill be more attentive next time round. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:38 am    Post subject: Thank, McDibsky. Don't have time to post the clues up in each chapter, but I am sure most of you have gleaned them. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:39 am    Post subject: um...help! MG, I think I'm even deeper down the hole than you are. I can't even find chapter 2! btw, if anyone feels like helping a newbie or giving me a map of the city, much appriciated. From what I've picked upo I think... nope, i still can't get a thought to come into my head. They all fear dying of lonlieness for some strange reason. [i]Blessed are the Cracked, for they let in the light[/i] Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:30 pm    Post subject: Um, yeah, welcome to IF, White Blacksmith. Chapter 2 is somewhere buried in this topic. Here's the link to it. Chapter 2 _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:22 am    Post subject: thanks raven Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:35 am    Post subject: [quote]The keys are an interesting lead... he found those at the gal's appartment? [/quote] Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought he said he got them off the other teachers?! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:40 am    Post subject: Nah. He got them from the other two teachers. We will get a better understanding of them next chapter. BTW, I am putting up the clues that should have been gleaned from each chapter at end of each chapter. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:47 pm    Post subject: Chapter 3 “You said you interviewed the instructors before,” Caroline questioned Dan as she paced the office. “Yeah, neither had much to say with the questions I asked them.” Dan snuffed out the finished cigarette in the already full ashtray sitting on his desk. “I have the list of questions I made up for the interviews somewhere.” Caroline rolled her eyes as she watched Dan shuffle through the pile of papers on his desk. “If you can’t find it, at least tell me, what information you gleaned.” “I know I had the list on my desk,” Dan mumbled to himself. “Aha! Here it is!” Dan proclaimed with pride. Caroline snatched the wrinkled paper out of her partner’s hand, and squinted her eyes to reach the near illegible scribbling Dan called writing. “There are no notes on here,” Caroline commented when she finished deciphering the list of questions. “Did you get any responses longer than ‘yes’ or ‘no’ that needed recording? “In here.” Dan pointed at his head. “I memorized all the answers Señor Malaqués and Madam Dempsey gave me.” He gave a cheeky grin. “I have a very good memory. Like last night I had a savory pork loin, cooked just right with garlic and onions. And as side dishes pan-fried snow peas, and a little green salad with blue cheese dressing. The whole meal totaled $14. 34 at Nan’s Grill Delight on 4th and Hamilton Sts. I could even tell you how many other patrons graced the place when I was there.” Caroline sighed with frustration, and snapped, “Let me guess, zero, zip, none are the possible answers to the question. Especially since you were eating at one of the most disgusting places in this town. Nasty greasy food which people should avoid as much as possible.” “Hey, I like Nan’s. I look for cheap food, I get cheap food. Easily complete in one place.” Dan put his feet up on his desk, despite the mess that had accumulated on it, and leaned back to stretch. “Good food takes perspective.” Caroline retorted, “So does a murder case. Now stop your defense of the horrid restaurant and recite everything you heard from your first questioning of the teachers. I want to hear it all before we go question them again at 2 this afternoon.” Dan glanced up at the clock behind Caroline. The hour hand was almost at the big, bold 2, and the minute hand was about to hit the 12. The little second hand was ticking closer, and closer to the minute hand. When the minute hand reached its mark, Dan drew his eyes away from the clock. “Have you checked the time yet, Caroline? It’s 2 o’clock now. If we have to participate in another questioning, we best get going, right?” “What! It’s already 2? Why didn’t you tell me that half an hour ago? Moreover why didn’t my watch alarm go off to tell me?” Caroline glanced at the slim band on her wrist, and then began to mutter to herself about how stupid she was. “Forgot to move the time an hour forward, what kept me from noticing the time change?” Just as he was about to step outside the office door, Dan turned to answer her question. But thought better of it, when Caroline gave an icy glare that would have froze hell in seconds if a look could do that. “Don’t even think of telling me, Dan,” she stated as a little emphasis, and shoved past him, her chin high, and her strides long, and even. “You’re a lucky guy, Detective Howard,” one of the other officers called out as Dan started to follow Caroline. “You have been her partner the longest running. You know she gets the nickname Squid around here due to the fact she has a tendency to squeeze a lot out of her suspects, but I think it’s her partners that suffer more when they have to listen to her tongue.” “Dan?” Caroline poked her head from around the corner she had just turned into only a moment earlier. “Get the laptop, and the tape recorder….now.” Her orders said and done; Caroline disappeared back around the same corner. Dan traded bewildered looks with the officer he had been talking to before turning back to the office to fetch the requested items. Señor Malaqués looked to be in his mid-forties, his blonde hair was so light it could have been considered white under the harsh lighting of the room. Through the glass window, Dan saw that the man was fidgeting with his fingers. I thought all professional dancers had an air of calmness around them always. A door further down the hall shut closed. “There you are, Dan,” Caroline scolded. “It took you long enough to appear. Both instructors are here, so the plan is this. You will question the Señor here a bit, and I will take on the Madam. I already found out she is a spitfire. We will switch after about an hour.” Dan nodded. “Are there any particular questions you want me to ask?” Caroline took the tape recorder from Dan. “No, use your imagination. But focus your questions around the victim Sandy. And remember to use the laptop to type all notes. No memorizing. There should be a tape recorder already in that room.” With that, Caroline turned to return to the other room she had left. When she disappeared behind the door, Dan put his back against the wall, and told himself to breathe deeply. Señor Malaqués looked up from watching his fidgeting fingers when Dan entered the room. The other man wore a light green collared shirt and dark trousers. The instructor had an angular face that gave him a sinister air around him. Cold, emotionless blue eyes watched Dan as he walked toward the table a few feet ahead. “I am Detective Howard, Mr. Malaqués,” Dan began brusquely as he set up the laptop. “We are going to have a nice chat about a Ms. Sandy Walcombe, the most recent victim of a ring of a murders dealing with broken glass.” Dan moved checked the tape to make sure there was enough film on it, and then placed it in the recorder, which he moved closer to the other man. “Don’t call me ‘mister,” the dancer answered quietly, but Dan could hear the strong Hispanic accent that accentuated his anger. “I will call you ‘señor’ if you answer every question I ask you truthfully,” Dan responded, hoping it was a diplomatic offer. “Shall we begin then?” The tape recorder started with a simple push of a button. “How well did you know the deceased Sandy Walcombe, señor?” “I told you before, I don’t know any girl by that name,” Señor Malaqués answered shortly. “But surely in between classes, you may have seen a girl of this description?” Dan raised the most recent picture of Sandy that they had obtained from the aunt. He watched as Señor Malaqués eyes widened with shock and took note of the reaction with a quick run over the keyboard. “Jostling your memory, señor?” Señor Malaqués quickly shoved away his shock, and returned to having his stony expression from before. “She was not a student of mine. I believe she was being trained by the dance studio’s owner, Ms. Roxy. But she had a beautiful figure when I did happen to see her practice upon my arrival at the studio a few minutes before any of my classes. I will admit that she looked to have some promise. A very bonita body, perfect for a dancer. Strong legs, and a wonderful posture.” “You seem to admire her very much, señor,” Dan commented. “Did you ever see her alone to give her some advice?” The man shook his head vehemently. “It is a policy of mine not to give advice to someone else’s student. Only confusion would be introduced thus ruining the beauty of the dance.” “And of course, murder ends that beauty quite promptly,” Dan insinuated carefully. He watched to see his words register in the señor’s mind. Beads of sweat trailed down the man’s brow, and he quickly raised a sleeve to wipe away the little bit of wetness. “I have nothing to do with her murder,” Señor Malaqués answered sharply. Dan finished typing notes that would he hoped would be suffice should Caroline ever take the opportunity to read them. Every action and reaction the instructor gave a clue closer to the truth Dan had gleaned from the evidence gathered from the studio. He was quite proud of himself about the possibility he was able to infer from the data forensics had written about in their report. And now, he had the opportunity to find if his assumption was correct. From the laptop’s carrying case, which was next to him on the table, Dan fished out a worn plastic bag with bobby pins in it. “Then perhaps could you explain to me, why your fingerprints are on these found in the victim’s cubby in the studio? There happens to be one that is bent perfectly, so that it could be used as a lockpick. I guess using the key would make too much noise.” -------------------------------------------- In the office she shared with Dan, Caroline was looking for a business card. When she had told Dan she had a spitfire for a suspect, she had been lying. A white lie, totally harmless, she assured herself. In truth, Madam Dempsey had never appeared. Caroline hoped to make contact with the missing woman in person. She did not find the card, but something else. She and Dan had done a background check on the victim’s aunt, Mrs. Walcombe as soon as the woman had left. The woman had been telling the truth about having an older sister, Shirley, who had run away to New York. Apparently, Mrs. Walcombe, formerly known as Ms. Janice Needham had also left home soon after her sister at 16, and eloping with a Mr. James Walcombe, a Target store clerk. During those years before her adoption of Sandy, Mrs. Walcombe and her husband were always changing residences, and jobs due to their credit problems. The two of them were extravagant people, always spending more than they earned. The only times the lady did contact her parents was when she needed a bill to be paid, but other than that, contact between them was pretty nonexistent. It wasn’t until the adoption of her niece Sandy did Mrs. Walcombe hear anything of her elder sister after nearly five years. Shirley had requested that her parents take up their granddaughter, so that Sandy could be raised in a better and more loving home. At that time, Janice and her husband had caught wind of the news, and were able to somehow persuade her parents that for Sandy’s sake, the child should live with them. Shirley and Janice’s parents died a few years later, and bequeathed all of their money to their granddaughter. Any other information about the subsequent years until the girl’s murder could not be found. Caroline put the folder with all the history of the lady in her bag. Another visit to the woman may help clear the gray area. She would ask one of the other officers to look into the missing Madam Dempsey. Making sure, Dan was still busy with the Señor, Caroline headed straight out to the main part of the station to ask the officer there if she had heard anything from the lady within the last hour or so. But the woman there was busy talking reassuringly to whoever was on the phone. When she saw Caroline, the woman mouthed, “wait” before she quickly wrote down a few notes more on a sheet of paper, which she handed over to Caroline. Glancing at the paper, Caroline saw that another victim had been found in an abandoned warehouse outside of the town. A/N:Chapter 3 is COMPLETE! If you have kept with the conversation here, you would have read that the ending of this chapter is shorter and different from what I thought it would come out to be. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Last edited by Ravenwing on Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:53 pm; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:06 pm    Post subject: Oooh, very nice Ravey. Very nice indeed. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:00 am    Post subject: I like it. The only thing I'd quibble about - and it really is a tiny niggle: Ravenwing wrote: his enchanting blue eyes Given that it's a man's observations of another man, it seems a little bit of a girly description. Piercing blue eyes, maybe? Rich blue eyes? Even deep blue eyes if you must... but enchanting just makes it sound like Dan has a crush on the guy Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Quote: Dan has a crush on the guy _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:37 am    Post subject: Quote: Dan has a crush on the guy Well done stoat you've scarred Chinaren for life. Hey by the way Rave caroline's really bossy, a bit like yourself methinks. No but seriously it was a good chapter. Very nice character development. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:53 am    Post subject: Muaddib wrote: Well done stoat you've scarred Chinaren for life. *grins* It's the little things that make life so worthwhile Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:55 am    Post subject: Hey Im not complaining, thats one up for the Reds. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:00 am    Post subject: Hey, it will take more than a little scarring to keep me down! Not that I am a homophobe. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:05 am    Post subject: Good story Ravey, get the next part out there. Now. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:32 am    Post subject: Quote: “And of course, murder ends that beauty quite promptly,” Dan insinuates carefully Very nice opening; our suspect seems to be cracking under the tension this time. I can't wait to see his reaction to this latest piece of evidence. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:59 am    Post subject: Nice bit of suspense there Ravey, good stuff. And so what if Dan *ahem* bats for the other team. Spending any amount of time with Caroline would do that to any man... Looking forward to the next installment. :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:42 am    Post subject: Hmm. Never expected this kind of reaction about Dan and dance instructor. I can change it if it is making people uneasy. I just wanted to make statement that even those of the same gender recogize attractiveness in each other, male or female. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: As I said, I don't mind it. But you gotta ask yourself, would he really think that about another man? He may reckognise it, but I know I most certainly wouldn't think that if I saw a guy with nice eyes. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:03 am    Post subject: *sighs* I thought I was on a roll when I was writing this at 3 in the morning. Alright, I will change it. The whole eyes thing will go in the part when Caroline interrogates the dude. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:47 am    Post subject: Don't worry Ravey, it was a good chapter! And it wasn't a mistake, just something that didn't translate exactly how you envisoned it. It happens. Stop that sighing! :biggrin: _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:04 pm    Post subject: Okay, I fixed the illogical bit. And changed some parts to make this a bit clearer. I don't when I will get this chapter to where I want it to go, but I will just post parts as I seem fit. Seems like a good idea. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Ah hell, why not run with it... Dan needs something to remember him by... has there been a "switch hitter" in any serious IF stories yet? I doubt it... You haven't said much about his "love" life so far... perhaps its been shoved in a closet for a reason? By the way... good chapter so far... you charactarized in the first portion, which was good, then when the interrogation began, the actual case data and dialogue became more of the focus... that was good in my opinion... My personal feeling on this "senior" at the moment is that he had some fantasy crush on the girl and used one of the pins to pick the lock of her locker to get some personal items of hers for his own twisted amusement later... Don't think he's the killer, but a good question for him would be who HE thinks the killer IS. Also, what is his understanding of the broken glass phenomenon? Did he personally know any of the other victims? etc... OK, I've said enough... trying hard to shorten my posts lately... Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:42 pm    Post subject: Oh, and by the way... good work on establishing the clues at the end of the chapters... just went through and reviewed... it does help... Unfortunately, it also illuminates all the data that's missing so far... I am curious to know the answers to nearly all of Goose's questions as well... important things to know for sure... Accidents are a very vague way to die... are we talking about falling accidents, guns accidently going off in purses, walking in front of cars, what? Also... I assume since it seemed inferred from the "hair an inch shorter" comment that all the victims were females... same age roughly? Even if there is a copycat murderer, that still leaves an original murderer, and the "accidental" deaths all having the same calling card points out that none are accidental at all, so there is one or two murderers running around... or so it would be in the real world... there may indeed be a supernatural element to the whole thing. A "blow to the head"... what kind of blow... from a bottle, a club, a fist, a baseball bat, a golf ball, her head being pushed into a mirror or something? The glass... is it stained glass, clear glass, reflective, like mirror glass? Are the shards tiny, or large enough to make out shapes... Maybe they should, if it is possible, try to piece the glass together... might be painstaking but there may be a clue left for them if they piece together the puzzle... literally. I would think it would be very simple to tell if this is, say, glass from a bottle, or glass from a picture frame, or windshield, or whatever... glass retains curvatures if it was rounded when initially formed... I am assuming this was a flat glass pane but I'm wondering what thickness the glass would have been... or is it ground so finely that the glass is almost fiberous at this point? whew... I think I'm finally out of questions... for now... Last edited by Ravagerrr on Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:44 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:43 pm    Post subject: So much for shorter posts: Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:38 pm    Post subject: I am afraid this may be coming out to be a very long story...Well it's good to see the questions popping up. Reminds of how many loose ends I need to tie up. And Rav, this post is shorter than most of the others I have seen you put up. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:41 pm    Post subject: ROFL, don't worry about it Rav, it's good to see some good enthusiastic long posts. And it was all helpful, relevant stuff, at least as far as I can tell. I didn't read it all; I mean, phew! Lookit the length! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:32 pm    Post subject: Well compared to your posts, Soily, it has quite a length. LOL. Rav asked me when the next part will come up. And I don't know the answer to that is. It's going to be some time, since I seem to have full schedule this month. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:33 pm    Post subject: Ah I finally caught up to chapter two and there's a new partial chapter out I've enjoyed the first two Rave and will comment more once I've caught up with the third one. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:53 pm    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: Well compared to your posts, Soily, it has quite a length. LOL. I think many of my posts are plenty long! Mayhaps not in this story, but in many others I have relatively long posts, usually. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:58 am    Post subject: I am proud to anouce that I read all of Rav's post without being driven insane (no comments that I already was insane thank you) even if I didn't take it all in. Any of it. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:05 am    Post subject: Ingrothechundyer wrote: Ah I finally caught up to chapter two and there's a new partial chapter out I've enjoyed the first two Rave and will comment more once I've caught up with the third one. Good to see you're here, Ingroth. And Soily, I think I did see one of your longer posts...somewhere. I think I have Chapter 3 almost done. Amazingly, it did come out to be as long as I expected. Maybe because the characters decided that they didn't want to continue the interviews in one chapter. (if that makes no sense to you, I am sorry. But I can't explain it any better than that) _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 4:59 pm    Post subject: none of it??? Sheesh... why do I even post??? Alright, I suppose I use this place to spit out all my thoughts which are usually too many for anyone to handle, even myself at times, which is why I write the posts of course... Suprisingly enough, I do try to hold some thoughts back... Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:09 am    Post subject: Heh, of course I read it and got it Rav, don't be silly! Looking forward to it Ravey! :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:01 am    Post subject: Nice chapter Raven. Don't have any input on a decision point for this one as I can't figure out what it is (if there is one ) Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject: Yeah I just realized that the DP is not really that obvious, but it is there. I tried to keep this chapter from going on for too long. I think the DP is supposed to be about what is our next move. Caroline has been told of another victim being found. -She was initially going to go see Mrs. Walcombe before she found out about this other murder connected to the case. -She could wait until Dan finishes his interview of Senor Malaques, so she could question the guy with her own questions. -Or she could just drag Dan away from this interview because the new murder may lead to more discovery. Whatever makes sense. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:37 pm    Post subject: Just realised I hadn't commented on the second part of the chapter. I'd wait for the interview to end - pulling him out would make them seem disorganised and as if they don't know what they're doing, but when interegrating someone you want to appear as if you already know all the answers. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:40 pm    Post subject: Good to see your comment, Lordy. I am thinking of not putting up a poll since I have an idea of where I want to go with this. But I think I will await awhile, and stew over the idea. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:38 am    Post subject: Yes, I agree with Lordy. They should wait until he has finished his interview, and then move on and do the other things. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:06 am    Post subject: Hmm how much more time is left in the interview? If there is a good amount of time mabye Caroline should go look at the new body then switch out with Dan when his interview is over. Dan would then go look a the crimescene and Caroline would get a crack at the Senor. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:33 am    Post subject: Well I think Dan has to prove his hypothesis wrong or not. And that may take a while if he doesn't get an answer soon enough. But good points. That was what I was actually thinking about doing. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:38 pm    Post subject: Okay, I am going to put up a poll. But I have a feeling I know where most of the votes will be going toward. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:04 am    Post subject: *watches for the poll to appear* Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 4:00 am    Post subject: *sits down next to Ingro to wait, and pokes* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 4:36 am    Post subject: *slips on some loose soil, falls over and lands on Ingro, whilst accidentally thwapping Bob* Careful where you sit guys! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:46 am    Post subject: LOL. Having fun in this topic? Okay, your waiting can end. The new poll is up! You have a week to cast your votes. And if you have any other suggestions, just tell me. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:14 pm    Post subject: And mwhaha - I got there first and I wasn't even waiting. Voted to go and check out the murder-scene while Dan is busy, and - by being first - I'm winning. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:02 pm    Post subject: Looks like even if you didn't make the first vote you would still be winning Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:35 am    Post subject: Well I can't get to the poll at school, cos there's a blockage at the bottom of all the pages, but I'll be able to do it at home today or tomorrow, so I shall return! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:43 am    Post subject: voted! winning! killing Buffy before she gets me! _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:16 pm    Post subject: Whitey, I think you're watching too much TV. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: Voted and waiting. Impatiantly. *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:57 am    Post subject: I don't even watch Buffy- I just know that enough of my fellow vampires have suffered at her hands! I'm morraly offended. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: LOL. Soily, have patience, the poll is still open until this Thursday. Besides I hope I can have chapter up soon after that. The one-acts at my school are opening Thursday, so I have a lot to do before and after that. We will see. Don't forget to vote, if you haven't done so. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:27 am    Post subject: So much stuff to do until the end of the school year. Once my APs end, I will start writing. I have been hit with a lot of ideas to start the chapter, so I am thinking I will have the chapter up by next week. *crosses fingers* _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 1:34 pm    Post subject: Don't feel awful. Most of us are patient; we know May is a busy month, and Soily doesn't really need to breathe anyway. WRITE! Ooops, did I shout? Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 1:19 pm    Post subject: It is finally finished. Chapter 4 has been written for your enjoyment. Chapter 4 “When Detective Howard finishes his interview, tell him to meet me at the Banard warehouse in the southwest side of town,” Caroline instructed as she handed the officer at the desk a folded note. “I only hope he is able to find the place easily, his sense of direction is worse when his eyes are wide open.” Since Caroline had decided to investigate the new case that opened by herself, preparation was short and efficient. Her badge was in her pocket, and the Glock 17 she always carried with her rested in its holster at her waist. When she had to wait for Dan on other occasions, efficiency was not even considered. Caroline had always wondered how it was that any case the pair had ever been given was solved. Stepping down on the gas petal, Caroline backed out of the station’s lot, sending dust flying as she took to the road. -------------------------------------------------- Beads of sweat ran down Señor Malaqués face. From his shirt pocket, he took out a plain white handkerchief that he used to wipe his damp face. He couldn’t keep his hands from shaking though. The handkerchief dropped from his hands as he returned the damp cloth back to its pocket. Dan watched these little actions carefully and took note of them. The interview was about halfway through if he considered all the little breaks the man took before answering any of the questions. Just watching the dancer’s reaction to the question he just posed made Dan want to run naked around the city block where the police station stood as he screamed about killing penguins with a pink bulldozer. A laugh broke the solemn atmosphere when the image of a dozing, pink bull came into Dan’s mind. The dancer gave Dan a curious look, but did not speak a word. Gradually, Dan was able to calm himself from the amusing image, and returned to wearing his serious expression. The dancer fidgeted uneasily under the steady gaze, the tapping of his fingers against the table the only sound in the room. “I am telling the truth. I have nothing to do with the girl’s murder,” Señor Malaqués spoke out urgently. Dan leaned forward, his chin resting on his clasped hands. “If that is true, then you could easily give me a simple explanation, and then you’re free of this room, and this place. And you could go back to teaching people how to step on their toes with beautiful grace.” The dancer started, but then fell silent. “One of my students needed some pins, so I decided to borrow some from one of the other girls’ cubbies. Sandy’s just happen to be the only one that had any bobby pins,” the dancer answered carefully. “And when was all this, señor?” Dan eyed the dancer oddly. He found it interesting that the man did not mention why he did not have the girl go find pins by herself. “A few weeks ago, I think,” Señor Malaqués mumbled. “I can’t really say, I was so distracted then.” “Why were you distracted, señor?” Dan paused from his game of Solitaire; he had stopped typing notes a while ago. He glanced at the monitor, he needed a red 6. He clicked on one of the facedown cards, hoping to get him out of the hole he was in. “Well, there was to be a dance exhibition the following week. But with all the publicity from the girl’s death, we had to cancel the event.” As an afterthought, Señor Malaqués added, “One of my best girls was to perform.” Dan cursed under his breath. The damn red 6 was not there. He was still stuck. Dan continued to click on the remaining facedown cards to no avail. “I am sorry to hear that something had to be cancelled due to the events so far. What was the girl’s reaction to there being no exhibition.” “Resentment,” the dancer answered immediately. “Kali always hated to overshadowed by someone else.” Dan turned away from his game. “Do you think this girl Kali could kill someone?” The dancer turned away, and stared at the wall behind him. His voice was muffled as he replied. “Girls are impetuous creatures, one can never know what they’re thinking.” “Were these ever in open competition with each other, would you say?” Dan asked turning the conversation back toward the girls’ rivalry. The dancer had a thoughtful expression on his face as he pondered the question. “There were a few words passed between them, but I never saw anything physical that could be considered a full-out fight. Now in the back rooms, that is another thing to think about.” Dan looked at his watch, and saw that the minute hand was at the 9. “A few more questions, señor, then I think we shall be done.” The dancer nodded, and leaned back in his chair. “You mentioned earlier that you went into the deceased’s cubby looking for bobby pins. Why did you not send your student to do this?” Señor Malaqués turned a little pink before answering. “I wanted Kali to focus on her performance. There was the likelihood that she would meet Sandy in the back room.” Dan closed the Solitaire game he had just lost. “Would you say that there was rivalry between you, Madam Dempsey and Ms. Roxy when it concerned your best dancers?” The dancer looked surprised upon hearing the question. “Why, por supuesto! We want all our students to be at the top.” “But would you be willing to risk your lives for the dancer to reach her full potential? Like killing the rival?” Dan pressed. The señor paused a moment before answering. “To be at the top, a dancer and her teacher must risk a lot. The dancing world is a vicious place to be in. One does what one must sometimes to maintain their status.” “But murder?” Dan repeated . “Are you willing to kill someone. That is a big risk.” Señor Malaqués eyes hardened. “You dare to question the integrity of my students, and me, their teacher? If that is to be all, I will take my leave now.” And with that he stood from his chair, opened the door once he reached it, and walked out. Dan did nothing to stop the man. There was nothing he would have done. He knew his questions were offensive and inquisitive, but such was the way of a detective: Always questioning about people’s lives, and always wanting to have a truthful answer. Closing the laptop’s monitor, Dan left the confined space, and knocked on the door he saw Caroline enter before the interview began. Hearing no response from within, he turned the knob, and peeked in, and then quietly closed the door soon after. “Have you seen Detective Osherow recently?” Dan asked as he drew near the front desk. The officer looked up, and silently handed him a folded slip of paper, and returned to her work. Dan squinted as he tried to read Caroline’s chicken scratch-like handwriting. “Did she leave any other messages for me?” Dan questioned the officer once he finished interpreting the cryptic message his partner left for him. “Just to meet her at the Banard warehouse on the southwest side of town,” the officer responded promptly. “Oh and not to get lost. She said that you’re blind when your eyes are open.” Dan winced upon hearing Caroline’s comment. It wasn’t his fault that he had no sense of direction. It was in his genes. “Do you know if the detective is carrying her cell phone with her?” The woman shook her head. “I do not know, sir. I didn’t notice if she was.” Thanking the woman for her help, Dan returned to the office. Like Caroline before, he placed his Glock 17 in its hip holster. But unlike Caroline, it took him a while to locate his gun. The same went for his official-looking badge, which somehow had some kind of dirt smudge on it probably from an earlier shuffle with a suspect. He tried ringing Caroline’s cell phone several times while in the office. After several tries, he figured out that he wasn’t imagining the Pinky and the Brain theme song, and that it was actually coming from the little cell phone sitting on the chair. Pocketing his own phone, Dan prepared to leave. But before he even took a step out of the office, the opening bars of Pinky and the Brain began to play. Tentatively, he flipped open the pink phone, which he had given to Caroline as a gift. Despite her dislike for pink, she had never thrown it out or at him. “Hello?” Dan held the phone to his ear. “Hello? Who’s calling?” The silence on the other end was beginning to make the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. In the background he heard the sound of feet shuffling. “If you want to see your partner again, get off this case immediately,” a deep voice demanded shortly, and then abruptly hung up. Dan stared at the phone for a moment and then tried redialing the number that just called, but he didn’t get anything. Rushing out of the office, he stopped at the desk of one of the operators. “A call just came through from 571-790-9645. Could you trace its source for me?” “I can try, but I am not sure whether or not something useful come up. If the call has been disconnected, not much can be done, detective,” the woman replied. “I will see what I can do.” The woman tried reestablishing the connection with the number Dan gave her, but there were too many busy signals to allow for a steady connection. “I am sorry, detective, but I am unable to trace the number.” Dan thanked the lady for her help, and returned to the office; his steps were slow, and steady as he thought over his next plan of action. He unfolded the note Caroline had left him, and re-read the words on the paper. Dan, Should I not return upon you finishing your interview, meet me at the Banard warehouse southwest of here. The directions are further down this page. Don’t get lost! ~Caroline P.S. Madam Dempsey is missing. Also there is strong evidence against Mrs. Walcombe if you do take the time to read the files on her. Well? What do you think? Was it worth the wait? We have a lot of evidence, a lot of suppositions, but not much else. Dan needs to make some choices now as to what to do. You, gentle reader, have much thinking to do. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:03 pm    Post subject: I think he has to go save her - or at least try. Otherwise he'll never get her back (no matter what they say, we all know she'll never be returned). I think he should follow her instructions, and go to the warehouse, but maybe get back-up before going there or something. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:14 pm    Post subject: Good chapter! A very quick thought - the phone company can easily tell whose name is on the bill for any phone number and I think they would do so for the police. Of course, it might just be a pay phone on the street but even that would give a location. Knowing where the call came from would help, I think. I'll think more and get back when I have another idea. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:16 pm    Post subject: Not necessarily - it might have been re-routed through Philidelphia or something. Yeah - I saw that on Phone Booth. Good film. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravagerrr Guest Items Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 7:14 pm    Post subject: I knew her going off on her own was a bad idea. Now he should be attempting to rescue her of course... investigate the warehouse, but yeah... call for backup... officer down type of call... Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 10:48 pm    Post subject: We have no evidence that Caroline is down. Get the desk-police to start chasing up leads on the phonecall, by all means - but I think we should go to the place where she told us to meet her. If she's not there, then we can at least look for clues on location, while the other officers play around with giving us a direction to hunt in Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:12 am    Post subject: Finally! Good chapter Rave. I agree that he should try and trace the call, and I'm sure they could do that, especially if there's an officer in danger. The FBI could even get involved. I'm sure a missing officer is an important. And then he should go and investigate the warehouse, see if there are any 'clues'. :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 5:43 am    Post subject: LOL. I got the idea of tracing calls from the play I took part in last month, called "Sorry, Wrong Number" The tracing idea theme procedure I determined was that the call had to be a live one, if it was to be traced. But like you guys have said with technology these days, something more can be done. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 10:48 am    Post subject: If I were him I would call back up but do a crazy man run to the warehouse, and all just to find the woman he loves. LOL _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 3:30 am    Post subject: Very nice chapter - it is clear we can't risk anything happening to Mrs. Detective [I can't remember her name :'( !] so I think we should try to find the guy, whilst steering clear of the case. When she is returned, we take it up again with a vengence. Now is not the time for TV cop heroics. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:48 pm    Post subject: The White Blacksmith wrote: If I were him I would call back up but do a crazy man run to the warehouse, and all just to find the woman he loves. LOL Isn't someone the romantic? LOL. Sorry Whitey, there is no romance in this story. I will put a poll up later today for 5 or 6 days. I am gonna be away in Mexico during those days.l _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 7:43 pm    Post subject: Okay, I was really stupid, and forgot to ask Shady to delete the earlier poll before I left for Mexico. And now I have just recently returned. So, once the old poll is down, the Chapter 4 poll should be coming up soon enough. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 2:32 am    Post subject: So how was mexico? *dances the tango with those clicky things you hold* _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:26 pm    Post subject: Mexico was great, the water was great. It was just burning hot in the afternoons. But of course the beaches were the best part since I was just outside Cancun. And tangos are done in Argentina by the way. Okay I have put the poll up from the suggestions given, and a few of my own just in case. If have forgotten any choices, tell me. The poll will be open until Friday, thats 4 days. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:54 pm    Post subject: We don't really know Caroline is missing. There was no proof in the phone call. Maybe she's there waiting for us. And if something did happen to her, following to the warehouse might be a good way to find out what she found. The other things would be good to do too, but getting to the scene of her disappearance is most pressing. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:38 am    Post subject: I agree wholeheartedly! Woo! *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 11:03 am    Post subject: Voted to let others deal with the call, and go to the warehouse himself. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:21 pm    Post subject: I just realized something. Two of the choices are very similar (going to warehouse by himself) and leaving Caroline's disappearance to others. Those two actually go together. Sorry for the mix up. If you chose the latter one, don't worry. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:24 pm    Post subject: Ah good. I was wondering what would happen if it was one of those two - as if looks like it's going to be. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Last edited by LordoftheNight on Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:37 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:32 pm    Post subject: Okay. It took me awhile to understand what u wrote. But I think I got the gist of it. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:41 am    Post subject: lordofthenight wrote: Ah good. I was wonering what would happen if one of those two one - as if looks like they are going to do. Haha! Yeah, what the hell lordy? There was a post in Dragonbound that was only half finished yesterday. You ok? _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:36 am    Post subject: On DragonBound? My computer f*cked up yesterday while I was posting that - I had to restart the damned thing, go back and edit it. Of course, it may be the fact that you haven't read Fronte yet, but who knows? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:00 pm    Post subject: *mutters* So much for controlling spam... _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:19 pm    Post subject: I classify that as a comment about someone's presentation of their point, and a rebuttal of that point. Now if they'd gone on for a dozen posts, bickering and bantering with each other, then I would have classified it as spam and pruned it... ...as I'll do for this part of the thread if it becomes a full-on debate and free-for-all Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:52 pm    Post subject: Just on edge, thats all. Two more days of voting! _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 7:25 pm    Post subject: Will start writing the next chapter ASAP now that I know the decision. With all the thunderstorms in Virginia, using the computer has been a bit of a challenge. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:19 pm    Post subject: Can't wait! *sips tea* _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Starwalker Guest Items Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 7:34 am    Post subject: Well, Our hero can open his computer and go to the 411 web site or an one of the other phone number web sites that does the same thing and type in the phone number "571-790-9645' to get the street address. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:59 am    Post subject: We don't know exactly where this call is coming from, more or less whether it is coming from a pay phone or someone else's cell phone that the guy stole. I will keep your suggestion in mind, Starwalker. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 6:27 pm    Post subject: Greetings everyone. I had to take a little hiatus from Glassbreaker, but it shall continue. Expect a interlude tomorrow. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:18 pm    Post subject: Great to hear Raven Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:22 pm    Post subject: Okay, just a little interlude before Chapter 5 starts. The cursed chapter is giving me a little trouble. So I give you a look into a criminal's mind. The flash of lightening lit up the sky revealing the huddled figure sitting under the awning of a storefront. Not far, a taller figure stood sheltered in the phone booth, cradling the receiver as they listened to the other person on the line. The girl shivered when another crack of lightening followed the rumble of thunder. The moment she picked up the hitchhiker off the highway the hours that followed had led to events she never had envisioned happening; at least it had nothing to do with a guy holding a gun to her head as she drove, or sitting in her wet clothes outside a boarded up store awaiting her fate. She rocked back and forth, clutching her knees tightly, silently praying to the Lord above for salvation from the nightmare she was in. Rough hands jerked her to her feet. Frightened, she tried to pull her arm from the person’s grasp. Her tear-filled eyes met the black ones of her kidnapper, who only tightened his grip, and began to drag her to the curb. The scrapping sound of shoes dragging along the pavement followed her as she tried to prevent the man’s actions. “Let me go,” she wailed, pulling at her arm again. But the man didn’t seem to be troubled by her resistance as he looked along the road for something or someone. When it seemed she wouldn’t stop her sobbing, the man turned to her. Raising his hand, he shouted, “Shut the fuck up!” A vehement ‘no’ was on the tip of her tongue, but when she saw the vein in his neck tighten, she bowed her head in acquiescence. She sighed with relief when she saw the vein relax. Fearful of the potential danger the girl calmed herself to quiet hiccupping, and silent prayer. Bright headlights in the distance blinded them both momentarily. A faint hope welled in the girl, and she eagerly waved her free arm to catch the attention of the car’s driver, who was still a few meters away. “Hey! Over here!” She yelled as she stretched herself toward the oncoming vehicle. The man pulled her back, and growled into her ear. “I thought I told you to keep quiet. Now, will you desist?” Ignoring the warning bells ringing in her head, the girl threw caution to the wind. With adrenaline rushing through her veins, the girl pulled free her arm. As her heart beat in her ears, and her breath coming out short, she hastily ran, not caring which direction she was going. She considered any distance away where she couldn’t see him safe. She could hear heavy footfall and quiet cursing behind her. When she heard the squealing of tires, the girl saw that the car she saw before had stopped at the curb. Hoping she could hitch a ride to the nearest town and to avoid the pelting rain, the girl turned and headed toward what she hoped would be salvation. As she slowed her pace, she didn’t notice either the shadow over her, nor the raised hand above until both shadow and hand dealt a blow to her head, and knocking her out. Her hand just barely missed the door’s handle as she hit the ground. “Took you long enough, Alex,” a cold voice commented silkily from within the car, its window partially opened. “Why didn’t you just knock her out before?” The man held his cap to his chest, and gave a half-bow before picking up the girl, and dumping her into the trunk of the car. “She was quiet most of the time. If you hadn’t had ‘ya damn headlights on, she wouldn’t have started her jumpin’ and yellin’,” the man grumbled as he got into the front seat. “Would have kept me from havin’ to chase after her also.” He wiped his brow with the cap. “If didn’t have my headlights on, I wouldn’t have been able to see anything, more or less you or the girl,” the driver answered icily as they changed the gearshift into the Drive position, and moved away from the curb. “And this whole project would have to be scratched. Everything has to look normal.” Well, thats the little interlude. To me, some of it sounds awkward, any suggestions about that would be most helpful. Whether or not its a past or present event, it doesn't matter, and even I am not really sure. Just know that it happened or is going to happen. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:31 am    Post subject: It seemed fine to me. Of course that's me, the one who has many spelling and grammer issues Thanks for getting it written and posted Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:16 pm    Post subject: Let me guess, you read my suggestions for Hacker first. *grins* _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top *gasp* A twist in fate. With Caroline missing, Dan has to decide what he should now Follow Caroline's instructions and go to the warehouse  71%  [ 5 ] Trace the call himself  0%  [ 0 ] Leave the search for Caroline to others (that would include phone tracing, and other police activities)  28%  [ 2 ] Look into Madam Dempsey's absence  0%  [ 0 ] Follow-up on Caroline's suspicion about Mrs. Walcombe  0%  [ 0 ] Total Votes : 7 : Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First         Storygames Home -> The Archives All times are GMT - 8 Hours Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next Page 1 of 4 Jump to: Select a forum Info Street - FAQs and Guides to the City----------------IF Technical Institute and FAQIFquirerWriter's Academy City Central----------------City AuditoriumOpen ForumThe City!The Market BizarreHall of DebateAdvertisement BoardAuditorium ArchivesOpen Forum Archives The Fantasy Forest - Fantasy Storygames----------------Storygames: FantasyMature Fantasy StorygamesThe Children of LeyondIs this Me?The Funny Bone: Jokes and Humorous PicsTempora CrepusculiSparkleStepsFantasy Tales of IF Skiffiville - Science Fiction and Experimental SGs----------------Storygames: Scifi and ExperimentalMature Sci-Fi StorygamesHeavy MetalSymphony's RequiemSector 17Heavy Metal v2 Manor of the Macabre - Horror, Mystery, and Suspense----------------Storygames: Horror, Mystery and SuspenseMature Horror StorygamesThe Hidden Crime Reality Road - General Fiction SGs----------------Storygames - General FictionMature General Fiction Linear Lane - Linear stories, Critiques and writing competitions.----------------Linear DistrictMature Linear TalesLinear LibraryCritique Corner.Writers' ArenaShort Story Avenue Multiverse - CYOA-style Interactive Stories----------------How to create your CYOA Interactive StoryMultiverse Stories Role Player's Den----------------Role Playing Announcements and General InformationMature Role PlayingRole Play Rules and RequestsOne-On-One Role PlaysGroup Role PlaysFan Fiction Role PlaysOut of Character Discussion Threads Word Game Way----------------Fun with words! Artistic Avenue - Poetry and Member Art----------------Poetry PalaceMature PoetryArt GalleryMature Art Gallery Stasis Hall - Completed or archived Storygames----------------The Wheel - The White QueenElection Oct 10The Archer's QuestThe Magician's TouchThe Wheel - The Fish That WalkedRunThe Wheel - The RamThe Wheel - The Machine's DaughterThe Wheel - The Twin PrinceIndelibleTrade WindowsThe 2009 IFYsThe WeatherwardenGrim ReapingEterna FamiliaMayoral Election April 2011The HuntGalleons of the StarsRhapsody in BlueDoors to the TruthWrathBarry the NormalConversations With a Dead FriendBittersweet ReverieElection October 09InterFable Stories - A Vampire's Quest - COMPLETEInterFable Stories - Bushido - COMPLETEInterFable Stories - When Stories Travel TogetherMayoral Election May 2012Election Oct 2011ArenaThe Time BeforeBattle to the End - Start Here!Battle to the End - The Master of Illusion and LightElection March 09Battle to the End - SpellsingerBattle to the End - Yahoo: Mind over MagicElection March 2013A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo LupiTruthseeker - COMPLETEPirates, Vampires, and Ninjas, Oh My!Virtual - COMPLETEFinite Cosmos - COMPLETESheerluck Holmes - COMPLETESojourner's Journey - COMPLETEAbduction!Beyond the Horn - COMPLETEShadows of the MindIFY Awards 2007Good vs Evil vs money!Heroes Never PanicNo Good Deed...Tired of Death - COMPLETEThe Greatest Fantasy Story EverPillboxDear Dotty.First against the WallScrapyard - On holdLords and LadiesFabled Island - COMPLETEConfession Box - COMPLETEUnderdark - COMPLETEA Glass Friendship - COMPLETEElection Oct 08ElvendorAvarice - COMPLETEVengeance - COMPLETEThe Dark - COMPLETEThe Endless WallTo Pass a TorchRise of ShadowsThe ArchivesThe IFY 2006 ArchiveElection Apr 08Election Oct 07Election Apr 07Election Oct 06Election Apr 06The Vault  You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum

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