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And Your Little Dog Too. 5. Was it good for you? Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next   (currently a favorite of )    Storygames Home -> -> The Archives View previous topic :: View next topic   Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:12 am    Post subject: And Your Little Dog Too. 5. Was it good for you? When Mrs. Merkins and her postman simultaneously disappear (leaving Mr. Merkins desolate), three local children (and their trusty dog) suspect foul play. Have the two adults been crated up and sold into white slavery? Have they been abducted by aliens? Enter 'The Three Pesky Kids' (and their little dog too) to investigate the true facts of the matter Dire warning!! Whilst this should contain humor, (well, I haven’t written it yet), it will, in all likelihood contain ADULT situations, depending upon how much I get carried away. So, if you are under whatever age you need to be, then please read no further. I still think we need a hidden forum for this sort of thing. Anyway… IT’S RED HOT H&E! (Hot and Erotic*) Storytime. And Your Little Dog Too. Chapter 1. Oooh baby, rub it harder**. “Another special package my dear? Please remember we are trying to save up for that geology caravanning holiday. We wouldn’t want to miss that now would we?” Mr. Merkins peered at his young wife over his half-moon glasses as she read the notice that had been posted through the door. “Oh yes. How could I forget, it’s the highlight of my year my dear,” Deloris Merkin replied. She put the paper down and applied another coat of pink lipstick ,as Malcolm Merkin sipped at his morning tea and read the Ornithologists guide for Dummies. “Very good my sweet, oh my goodness me. Look at the time. I will be late for the council meeting.” Malcolm quickly stood up and retrieved his raincoat, though it surely didn’t look like rain. “You can never be too careful, it is sunny now, but who knows?” he said to his wife, as she raised a questioning eyebrow. “Make sure Frederick is not late for school, now I really must go” he blew a kiss and, pausing only to make sure his comb-over was slicked down, dashed out of the door. “Goodbye,” she said quietly to the door, and then stood up and pulled her mini-skirt straight as her step son slumped down the stairs. “Hello dear,” she said. “Make sure you eat something before you go to school. Mummy has to go out now.” Despite a mere 11 year age gap Deloris couldn’t help but feel motherly, or what she assumed was motherly anyway, towards Fred. Fred didn’t share the same feelings, and had definitely UN son-like thoughts towards her, to the extent of trying to setup a webcam in the shower, which he hadn’t managed to get working yet. “You going out again?” he said, eyeing her attire. “Yes. Now, you be a good boy and don’t forget to lock the door when you go out.” Deloris leaned over, giving Fred a lipstick covered kiss on his forehead and, incidentally, a damn good view down her top, and then rushed out of the door, slamming it behind her. Fred shook his head. Whatever had possessed her to marry his father was beyond him. He could see what he father saw in her of course, you would have to be blind or neutered not to, but still. His cell-phone rang. It was Jon, or ‘fatty’ as he was known at school, at least with some of the girls he had dated. Fred had seen him in the showers and knew why. “What’s up big boy?” he said in a friendly way. “Did you get it on with Jen last night or what?” “Oh man! I am still getting over it, and she won’t be able to walk fer sure dude. Know what I mean?” “You are one dog fatty, I can always rely on you to uphold the traditions of depravity.” “Yeah, that’s me, your trusty dog. Where you at?” “Getting ready, where you?” “Just near your place, just saw that MILF*** of yours driving past and looking mighty fine. How’s it going with that camera?” “I think there was a virus on the driver disk, don’t worry I will get it right. I am coming out now.” “Catcha on the flip side bro.” Fred grabbed his jacket and school bag and slung it over his shoulder before racing out of the door, slamming it behind him. Fatty met him near the park with a casual wave. He was eating some kind of toasted snack and leaning against the gate, eyeing up the girls going past. He fell in beside Fred and they wandered along the park path. It was a fine summer morning, far too nice for school if truth be told. “Sh1t, I didn’t do my physics last night, old Slacky will kill me.” Fred rummaged through his books. “Can I copy yours?” “Can do when I get it back from George, hey, there she is now.” Fred looked over to see Georgina, or George as she preferred to be known, walking towards them waving. “Ah man, she is such a geek. And look at her, why doesn’t she dress like a girl?” Fatty threw the remains of his breakfast on the grass. “Lesbo” said Fred and tapped the side of his nose. “Heh, I can cure her” replied Fatty grabbing his crotch and winking. They both laughed. George ran up to them panting. “Hey chaps!” She said. “What’s the news eh?” “Same old” said Fatty. “You done that homework?” “Absolutely, it was jolly easy. I just don’t understand what you fellows find so hard about it.” Fatty merely shrugged and passed his book over to Fred once George gave it to him. “You have the advantage of a classical education I guess.” George skipped alongside them as they continued their slow walk up the path. “So, what’s the plan today? Fancy fagging off school? There’s some wizzo fishing down by Brown’s lake I hear.” “Fagging off?” said Fred, “Where do you get your English from George? Anyway, can’t, old man Trent said if I didn’t turn up again he would be taking it to ‘the next step’ whatever that is, and if I fail this year my dad won’t get me that new PC.” “Jeepers, bad luck old man” said George. “Hey! Maybe I can come around you your tomorrow! I have a new game I just downloaded.” Fatty and Fred looked at each other and made faces. “I don’t know…” Fred began. “My cousin Ann is visiting too, is it alright if I bring her along?” continued George. “Holy sh1t! Your cousin Ann? The one who stays with your weird Uncle Querty up in the mountains?” “Yes, she came last year, do you remember her? That’s super!” George smiled. “Funk yes I remember her. Thirteen and t1ts like watermelons, who could forget those?” said Fatty, but under his breath, so George couldn’t hear. “She’s weird though, worse than George” said Fred in the same low tones. “Who cares!!?!?! Tits man! Great big mugumboes!!” Fatty held out his hands in front of him to demonstrate. “A man could die happy in those things!” Fred laughed. “Okay George, bring her along, what they hell.” George grinned. “Super! Okay chaps, here we are, I must simply dash, see you tomorrow.” She ran off. Fred said goodbye to Fatty as he headed off to his class, and spent a miserable day being shouted at by his teachers. > He came back to an empty house. That wasn’t too unusual, so he didn’t think anything of it. He went up to his room and surfed the net for his favorite porn sites, doing a little spanking of the monkey. Then he lost track of time playing Warcraft online, so it wasn’t until his father came home that he realized anything was amiss. “Frederick! Have you seen your mother?” His father shouted up. “Not since this morning” he replied, glancing at the clock. Holy cow! It was seven thirty! Frantic phone calls followed, none of which were productive. Mr. Merkins was beside himself with worry, and dashed out and about trying to find his wife. Fred watched helplessly. Finally his dad came home and slumped on the couch. It was late. “Well?” asked Fred carefully. “Last time she was seen was talking to some guy Sam down the post office. They wouldn’t give me his number, and he isn’t due back on shift for another few days. The police say they can’t do anything for 24 hours.” Mr Merkin looked at Fred. “Go to bed son. You have school tomorrow.” Fred patted his dad on the shoulder and retired for the night. He felt bad. His dad may be a hopeless nerd, but he was his father. So he said the next day to Fatty and George at school. It was lunchtime and they were hanging about in the park. “My Uncle John works down the post depot” said Fatty, maybe we can go and ask him. “Oh, wait, he is on holiday somewhere this week. We are looking after their dog while they are away.” “Well I say she has been kidnapped by slavers from Africa!” piped up George. “There was a big thing about it the other year, and I noticed a mysterious ship at the docks last night. We should snoop about!” “Maybe we should go to the cop shop with my dad again later” said Fred, “he will be going at 6, that is 24 hours.” Fatty sucked on a cola and belched. "I dunno, I don’t like the cops ever since I was busted." “You were not busted! They told you off for peeing against the wall!” “Busted.” Repeated Fatty stubbornly. Fred sighed and looked at his friends. What should they do? *Hey, that’s how I read it. **Titles may have nothing to do with chapter content. ***If you don’t know what this means then I am not going to explain it, so bad luck, go and watch American Pie or something. >>>>>> Okay the filth didn’t come out that time, but there are still chapters to come so don’t worry. So, what’s the lowdown? Give me some action plan here people. <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:05 am; edited 11 times in total Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:29 am    Post subject: LOL! So it's to be 'Five go Mad in Dorset', is it? Cool! Well, it seems they have lots of leads - but I think the first priority should be getting to meet Anne again. After all, she has huge knockers that might add some... clarity... to the situation. After that, check the Uncle of Fatty's. It's the option that requires least actual effort Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:32 am    Post subject: Start at the local hairdressers or nail salon...she was all dressed up with somewhere to go, and surely wanted to look ravishing. You don't wear miniskirts and low cut blouses to the clothiers, and likely she'd want to get more prettified. Besides, at the nail salon there's bound to be plenty of other bored housewives to check out- I mean talk to, and they might be able to point you in the proper direction. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:04 am    Post subject: ROFLMAO! :biggrin: :biggrin: Wonderfully low-brow stuff Chinaren, hilariously coarse. Thought 'George' was great too! One small niggle: Quote: I dunno, I don’t like the cops ever since I was busted I think this is supposed to be in speech marks. Now, what to do...? Let's make this all famous-fivesy; back to Georginas to get 'sandwiches' (a grope of Ann's 'mugoombas'), then off too the beach for some 'vestigating (rampant.... beachcombing ), then off to check out that mysterious ship George was talking about. A chance for Fred and/or Fatty to act all masculine and brave. *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:43 am    Post subject: Great start Chinny - loved it I spotted a confuzzled bit, but lost it if I find it again I'll let you know. The docks is rather random, and the police probably won't let any pesky kids in to the room as they are talking to Fred's dad. I think we should go with Fatty's option. Find out who 'Sam' is and follow that lead. Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Phang Elder Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 2160 Location: Phang's House of Mints Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:16 am    Post subject: This story is brilliant beyond belief. However, I have no idea about the DP. ~ Good Old Bad Young Stupid Days Dept. _________________ Stuff here Da Huuuuub Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:36 am    Post subject: Another one C'ren? Good story, but I was thrown slightly when I mis-read this line Quote: Despite a mere 11 year age gap and thought Fred was only 11 for the next couple of paragraphs until I went back and re-read. For the decision point, I'd say head down and try to locate Sam, mainly for the afore-mentioned reasons. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:29 pm    Post subject: You seem to have too much time on your hands, China with all these storygames. Hmm. I agree with Lordy, and Smee, find out whoever this 'Sam' is. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 4:56 pm    Post subject: Quote: You seem to have too much time on your hands, China with all these storygames. Well, I wasn't planning on this one, but I some of my current ones are still polling, and I didn't feel like writing a chapter of the others. I intend for this one to be only about 5 chapters, or whatever Stoat's minimum is. Of course, you can never tell with these things, and I have thought of a sequel already. I don't have a great deal to do here actually, this town is pretty dull, and I don't know that many people. Plus I write kinda fast. Some of the stories I write at work when it is quiet (shhh, don't tell HQ). Glad y'all liked it anyway. I will put up a poll soon. And I have NO idea where this is heading yet. NB. Fatty's uncle is away on holiday, but Fatty knows some of the other people who work there, just not that well. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:33 pm    Post subject: Well you're stories are a great short read to ponder over, so keep writing. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:28 pm    Post subject: Okay chaps! Polls up what ho. Vote away and all that stuff. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:53 pm    Post subject: I am going with finding this Sam dude. It seems the best idea to find out a bit more about the mother's disappearance without rousing to much unnecessary attention. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:38 am    Post subject: Whizzo! _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:57 am    Post subject: Eh? *watches as fauna goes flying around the forum. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Kalanna Rai Assassin for Hire Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Posts: 3102 Location: The Frozen North Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:03 am    Post subject: I have only two words for Mr. Chiaren...Stiffler's Mom. _________________ "It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..." "Music makes you braver." Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:48 am    Post subject: Kalanna Rai wrote: I have only two words for Mr. Chiaren...Stiffler's Mom. LOL! I had just watched American Pie Band Camp before I wrote this, maybe I was influenced... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:51 pm    Post subject: Voted, and winning. I haven't seen Band Camp - though I've got the others - is Willow (or Michele as she's known as) in it? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:58 am    Post subject: Go go super-sleuth team! :biggrin: _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:23 am    Post subject: Cool story *grin* Keep it up! (ooo errr!) Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:18 am    Post subject: Postal depot it is then. Damn you. I know nothing about postal depots. Mind you, that' never stopped me before... *Starts tapping away hesitantly...* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:20 am    Post subject: China. A postal depot is probably a box building where all the mail is. Thats all you need to know. Just use your imagination. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:22 am    Post subject: With scantily dressed postwomen running around madly because a big letter full of.... champagne has just exploded, showering them in alcoholic goodness. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:32 am    Post subject: See? We are very helpful. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:34 am    Post subject: Once again, if you are too young, offended, timid or generally illegal in some way, defer and desist from reading this story, as it may contain adult situations, some of them could be weird and well, you get the idea. Chapter 2. Do Me Hard Big Boy. Fred was first out of his class. He called his dad whilst he waited for the others, but there was no news. Malcolm Merkin sounded dejected, but he insisted Fred stay at home or play with his friends. As long as he did his homework… Fred hung up the phone, half guilty, half relieved, just as George ran up to him. “Any news?” she asked. “Nothing. My dad says I don’t have to go to the cop shop with him though.” “That’s good, it means we can snoop around the postal depot.” “What about your cousin, will she come along?” Fred shivered slightly at the thought of Ann’s voluptuous figure. “Jeepers creepers yes!” said George, jumping up and down. “Where is Fatty? Everyone was out simply ages ago.” “Wait here, I will go and look.” Fred walked back into the school until he found Fatty, who was busy Frenching some girl Fred hadn’t seen before. Eventually the two parted, the girl looking rather flushed. “Whatsup” said Fatty as he saw Fred hanging about. “Who is she?” “I dunno, some new chick, met her in physics. Good kisser mind, copped a feel too.” He made a descriptive action with his hand. “Come on, George is waiting for us.” Fred led Fatty to where George was sitting on a doorstep. “Crikey you two! Took you long enough! Let’s go” she said, jumping up. The three made their way through the park to Stone Street, where George lived. Stone street was an old road lined with massive old houses, mostly converted to student flats for the nearby university now. However, Georges’ family still had the whole thing to themselves. ‘Old money’ Fred’s dad had called it, then made some joke about Fred being ‘in there’. They ran up the back entrance, through the overgrown yard to the large back door, red paint peeling. George slipped inside and the boys followed her up the musty smelling hallway. “Ann? You home?” George shouted. There was a noise and Ann appeared from a side door. Fred and Fatty took simultaneous deep breaths as she appeared. “Jesus on a bike!” muttered Fatty under his breath, “she’s even bigger!!” “Oh super!” said Ann, in a rather shrill high pitched voice. She clapped her hands and jumped up and down, severely threatening the integrity of the buttons on the blouse she was wearing, which were straining to contain the heavy load as it was. “Uuuh” said Fred, momentarily rendered speechless. “Oh I know you! You are that simply cute Frederick! How are you my dear?” Ann rushed over and gave Fred a big hug, whereby he promptly messed his pants. “Do you remember me?” asked Fatty eagerly. Ann let Fred go, luckily not noticing his frantic trouser movements as he tried to hide the mess in the front of his pants. “Mmmm, I don’t think so. Jim or something wasn’t it?” Ann put her finger to her lips and pouted. “Oh my god” mumbled Fred. He turned around and dashed off to the bathroom with a hurried apology. “Jon, my friends call me Fatty.” Said Fatty, clearly disappointed. “Oh, well. Hello Jon. I am Ann.” “Mmf.” Said Jon. Another voice interrupted the conversation. It was Georges’ mother, a fat and jolly person with a constantly red face. Fred had privately speculated she was on some sort of weed. “Oooh Georgina! You have brought your friend over! How super! Will you stay for drinks and sandwiches my dear? I have made some fresh buns just today.” She beamed, doing a fair impersonation of a jolly tomato. “Did someone mention buns? Oh, hello Mrs. George” said Fred, emerging from the bathroom, a wet mark on his pants. “Hello Frederick” said George’s mum. “Would you like a sandwich?” “Actually Mater, we have to go out. Some snooping to do don’t you know. A mystery is afoot!” reprimanded George. “Well, in that case I will pack a dinner for you all then. Won’t be a moment” and she bustled off up the hallway. “So, what’s the plan chaps?” said Ann, linking arms with Fred, much to Fatty’s jealousy. “Well, I say we go down the post depot, Fatty knows some people down there” Fred said. “Super!” said George and Ann together. Fatty rubbed his forehead. “Here we go then darlings!” Georges’ mum came out carrying a tray with four brown bags. “Cheese and tomato sandwiches, one of my special buns” she gave Fred a strange wink, “and simply lashings of ginger beer!” “Whizzo!” said George. The four took their dinners and, saying goodbye, they filed out. Fred happened to glance back as they left and thought he saw George’s mother inhaling deeply from a very small pipe, but he couldn’t be sure. > They had to stop quickly at Fatty’s house, where he dropped his school books off The four walked off towards the local industrial park. Ann held onto Fred’s arm all the way, despite Fatty’s ever more desperate advances. Fred couldn’t help but feel smug, even though he had a stiffy for pretty much all the way there. They soon arrived at the depot, which was just one of the many faceless buildings which lurked about in a former swamp, now all renovated for local businesses of course. They walked in unchallenged. Luck was with them. Fatty saw a friend of his Uncles, and they fell in beside him. Roger, as he was called, was a young skinny man who, Fred couldn’t help but notice, glanced in the direction of Anns’ chest more than once. “Come on in” he said, as Fatty continued his attempts at small talk. Fred had a suspicious Roger wouldn’t have been quite so accommodating without Anns’ breasts helping them along. They entered a small and cozy office. Parcels were scattered about randomly. Various pinups of topless women and girly mags marked this as a working man’s private domain. “So then,” said Roger, leaning towards Ann. “Who are you lot then? I have seen you and you and you,” he pointed at Fred, Fatty and George, “but I don’t think I have seen you before, eh darling’?” “The name’s Ann, it’s jolly nice to meet you,” said Ann holding her arm out straight. “Ann eh?” Roger took her hand and shook it, rather longer than politeness would call for, thought Fred. “Fancy a drink?” he winked and pulled open a small fridge to reveal a six pack of beer. “Oh, Mr. Roger, we couldn’t possibly consume alcohol! I am only thirteen you know” said Ann. “Thirteen eh? Bloody hell. Still, you kids grow up fast these days eh?” He winked again. “Well, here’s some water then” he filled a paper cup with some water from a dispenser. “Oh my god! I am so sorry!” Roger, handing Ann the cup had, by some terrible mischance dropped it, spilling the water out all over her top. Fatty began choking. Fred went red and grabbed at his crotch. “Oh dear oh dear of dear” said Roger, rather too happily, “look at what I done eh? Tell you what, if you step into this little room over here and take that off I can dry it for you in a jiffy.” He guided Ann over to a small sorting office. Ann followed, exclaiming how she ‘didn’t want to be any trouble’ “No trouble at all.” Roger closed the door behind them. “Now, you just whip that off and hand it to me eh? I will wait through these doors.” He gestured at another set of doors on the other side of the room. “Mr. Roger sir, what about that security camera?” Ann pointed. “Oh that old thing! Don’t worry about it, it’s never on. Just ignore it.” “Okay Mr. Roger.” Roger hurried through the door and held a hand out, in which Ann placed her wet blouse. “Won’t be a moment love” said Roger, hurrying away to the CCTV controls. Ann wandered about for a moment, then sat on a small box whilst waiting. Her bra was chaffing, as it often did, so she quickly pulled it off to straighten it. There was a faint shout, sounded like 'Funk!’ from behind the doors, but then Ann heard someone else come into the room. She edged closer as she put her bra back on. “What are you doing Roger?” came a deep voice. “Wha… Oh, nothing sir. Just checking things out” came Rogers’ voice. “Well, very good. Now, listen. The latest shipment is nearly ready. The Africans said they will ship out in a couple of days. Is everything prepared?” “Yes sir, the ah, cargo, is down in the old warehouse on Key street. Sam is looking after it.” “Good, good, well carry…Good lord! Is that…?” “You bet sir! Stunner eh?” “Arrange the boys, let’s add that one to the shipment, we will get a fair bit for one like that. Holy cow, look at the size of them!” Ann shifted on her seat, she was aware that eavesdropping was wrong, but she couldn’t help but feel that this could have something to do with the mystery. There was the sound of moving from the room, so she quickly shifted away from the door. “There you go!” said Roger’s voice, and the blouse was handed back in by his arm. “Thanks Mr. Rogers sir!” said Ann, quickly putting her top back on, struggling with the buttons as she always did. Roger ushered her out quickly then, back to the others. “Sorry all, have to work now, the boss is around, know what I mean?” Despite their half hearted protests he showed them out of the office, leaving them standing back outside, where it was getting dark. “Well gosh darn it. That was a bust!” said George. “Maybe not!” said Ann, and related her tale. “You really took your top off?” said Fatty. “Oh Jon, come on! Stop kidding about. We have a lead!” said Ann. “Well, it’s getting late, we better go back” said George. Fred looked at his watch. “It’s six o’clock.” “Cripes! Better dash then!” said George, taking Ann’s hand. “Bye chaps! See you tomorrow!” They ran down the road, causing Ann’s poor blouse serious trauma. The boys watched them go glumly. “Bah. Some night out” said Fred. They were just about to head home when a screech of wheels made them turn. A scream rang out, more wheels and an engine revving hard. “Help!” The boys looked at each other. “That’s George!” They quickly ran down the road and around the corner. There, sitting on the road was George. “They took Ann!” she shouted. Fred looked up the road in time to see a dark blue van disappear round the bend. “Jeepers!” he said. >>>>>> Cripes! Ann’s been took eh? What’s to do? <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:48 am    Post subject: Great chapter China! Full of creamy goodness Now - the obvious path would be to go to the old warehouse on Key Street and investigate. Having said that, I'm absolutely sure that Georgina - being nearly as good as a boy - will have got hold of the blue van's license plate, so perhaps they could go to the nice policemen and tell them what's going on? But don't talk to the officious sergeant. No - tell them you want to talk to the Chief Superintendent. Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:53 am    Post subject: CRIKEY China! That was a bit full on. Got a little dodgy with the borderline paedo... Bleedin hilarious though! I think that George should run to the police station and tell them what's happened, and Fred and Fatty should try and see where that van's going. If it's just gone, and they don't have any hope catching it or seeing where it's going, then they should all go to the police and try and explain what's happened. *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:58 am    Post subject: Shady Stoat wrote: Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever That may be true... too true. Knowing Chinaren, he'll probably turn him into a paedo too... *shudder* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:00 am    Post subject: Solomon Birch wrote: Shady Stoat wrote: Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever That may be true... too true. Knowing Chinaren, he'll probably turn him into a paedo too... *shudder* Now you're just giving me ideas. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: ROFL - hilarious chapter Chinny Horribly baaad too of course I have to agree the police seems the best bet, and I too have equal confidence that George is up to the task of getting the licence plate. But, even if the Chief Supernintendo does give cakes and head pats, he is also likely to tell us to go home. So we need a plan to go to Key street anyway. Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:25 am    Post subject: Hell, the police aren't going to do anything, probably not even the head pats and cream buns. The bigger mystery is whether George's mother actually has a little pipe...and that's the ticket to getting Ann back. Mellow up this Roger fellow and get him to discussing her knockers, and something about her whereabouts is bound to slip out. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author rlz Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:42 pm    Post subject: ROFL This is probably the most hilarious (that I have read) and erotic story so far. I want to point out some quotes I found... interesting. chinaren wrote: Funk yes I remember her. Great big mugumboes!!” Fatty held out his hands in front of him to demonstrate. “A man could die happy in those things!” He went up to his room and surfed the net for his favorite porn sites, doing a little spanking of the monkey. Fred couldn’t help but feel smug, even though he had a stiffy for pretty much all the way there. Great use of vocabulary. Use it much? Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:42 pm    Post subject: Another chapter YAY! But unfortunately I don't have time to give a complete review of it. Give it you later tonight. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:02 pm    Post subject: Great again C'ren. I agree - try getting the police, and hope Georgina got the licence plate. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:59 pm    Post subject: So I finally read this through....I loved the chapter. F5 Fauna. Let's pump some info off this Roger guy. The police aren't going to be much help. Besides the group ignored the police the first time around. May as well keep it that way. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:08 pm    Post subject: I agree with I agree with I agree with I agree with Fauna. Sorry, the F5 key got stuck. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:15 pm    Post subject: You mean you put a weight on the F5 Key, Stubby. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Phang Elder Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 2160 Location: Phang's House of Mints Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:44 am    Post subject: Yet another bloody hilarious chapter, I see. :biggrin: I agree with Fauna. Who needs police? And this Roger guy sounds suspicious to me... ¬¬ _________________ Stuff here Da Huuuuub Back to top Author Sorrow_A Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:06 pm    Post subject: chinaren wrote: Solomon Birch wrote: Shady Stoat wrote: Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever That may be true... too true. Knowing Chinaren, he'll probably turn him into a paedo too... *shudder* Now you're just giving me ideas. NEVER GIVE CHINAREN IDEAS. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:02 am    Post subject: Oops! It wasn't my intention! Honest! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:39 am    Post subject: LOL. China and new ideas = big trouble. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:51 pm    Post subject: OKay, polls up. Thrust in your votes. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:09 pm    Post subject: Voted, and winning. And you're just loving this story, aren't you Chinaren. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:25 pm    Post subject: lordofthenight wrote: Voted, and winning. And you're just loving this story, aren't you Chinaren. I refuse to answer that on the grounds in may discriminate* me. *Yes I know this is the wrong word. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:55 pm    Post subject: Added my vote. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:16 am    Post subject: With a thrust and a grunt I voted to rub Roger. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author rlz Guest Items Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:52 am    Post subject: ethereal_fauna wrote: With a thrust and a grunt I voted to rub Roger. I agree. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:04 pm    Post subject: LOL, fauna. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:14 pm    Post subject: Once again, This story contains adult themes and general perversion. Hence if you are too young, not deviant enough or similar, desist here. I cannot be held responsible! Chapter 3. It’s so big and hard! Fred helped George up. “Are you okay?” She brushed herself down. “Yes, I think so. Golly chaps! They took Ann! What could they possibly want with her? I mean, she doesn’t have anything of interest.” “Oh, I don’t know” said Fred in a vague voice. “I can think of a couple of things. I mean er…” he looked at Fatty for help. “Why are we standing around?” said Fatty, taking another tack. “Did you get the number of the van George?” George shook her head. “Sorry fellows, I was trying to rough-house it with them, got a good kick in the leg for my troubles.” She hoisted up a trouser leg to show a mark on a, Fred couldn’t help noticing, quite shapely calf. “Shall I rub that for you?” he said, lechery overriding other concerns for a moment. “Oh, it will be okay, thanks awfully though. I got in a good bite myself on one of the bounders too.” “Mmm” Fred rubbed his chin, still thinking of George’s leg and not really listening. “Well, what shall we do now?” said Fatty. “They are long gone.” “I say we go and put some stern questions to that ruffian Roger at the depot. I am sure he knows something about all this” George said. “Well, I don’t think he will just talk to us so freely” replied Fred. “We need some way of, ah, persuading him to talk.” He eyed George speculatively for a moment. No, she may be a girl underneath her baggy clothes, but she was pretty clueless about some things. “George, I think we need to go back to your house. I have an idea…” >> ‘There is no farking way!” Said Fatty, backing against the wall, hands infront of him. “Come on Fatty, I am too big, and anyway, everyone knows you are the man when it comes to flirting.” “As a man! Not as a chick! I wouldn’t know where to begin! Come on!” “Look,” said George in a reasonable tone, a variety of clothes held in her arms. “No one will know, and I happen to know you did this once before, at Jane’s birthday party.” “How do you know that??” screamed Fatty. George winked. “Us gals do talk you know.” “Hmph. First time I have heard you admit you are a girl” said Fatty. He looked at them again. “Still no.” “Think of how grateful Ann will be when she knows what you did for her” said Fred, winking lewdly, or trying to anyway. Fatty pondered this point, and weighed it against the fact he would have to dress up in girls clothes. “Well…” “Good. Here. These are Ann’s, they should fit you better than mine. We better get something to stuff the bra with though.” “Bloody hell” said Fatty holding up the afore mentioned object. “A couple of pillows might just about do it.” It was a struggle, but between them George and Fred managed to get Fatty dressed up in Ann’s clothes. A surprisingly large number of socks padded out his front. “Mmm” said George standing back to admire their handiwork. “Needs something. Wait here a mo…” and she dashed off. “Look,” said Fatty when she had left the room, “if you so much as mention this to anyone I will personally tell everyone you fancy Phillipa from Mr. Punkles class.” “I never do!” “Yes you do, and I have proof. Cast your mind back to my Christmas party. Who did I catch feeling her up on my new digital camera?” He waggled his eyebrows. Fred blushed. “I was drunk.” He scowled. “Okay. Now we are even.” He thought for a moment. “I want a copy of the picture too.” Fatty smirked and then looked up as George came back. “Here we go fellows! Swiped it from my older sister’s room.” She held up a long dark wig. “You have an older sister?” asked Fred as Fatty tried it on. “How come we never see her?” “Oh, she is at finishing school in Switzerland. Been there for ages.” “Blimey.” “Well, how do I look?” said Fatty, striking what he hoped would be a girly pose. Fred examined the results. Fatty was now dressed in a high-necked sweater, bulging at the chest as a result of the stuffing, and a knee length red skirt. Long white socks came up to his knees. Fred whistled. “Not bad actually Fatty. You make a pretty cute girl.”’ “You are only saying that to get into my pants.” “Cripes! Come on fellows! It is late, we need to hurry” said George. The three slipped out of the back way, avoiding sounds of lusty singing from the front room where Georgina’s mother had some sort of Karaoke session going. “What does your family do anyway George?” asked Fatty, mincing along the road. “Oh, we have a couple of companies. Shipping mainly, you know, import and export. That’s how I know about that African ship at the docks.” “A couple of companies?” Fred eyed George from a new perspective. “Yes, I don’t really take much notice. Daddy says I should have a good time whilst I am still young. I just wish he wasn’t away on business so much.” She looked downfallen for a second. “Here, that bloke just eyed me up!” said Fatty, breaking into the conversation. “Well, it is dark” said Fred. “Bloody cheek!” said Fatty. “Him eying me up!” He shook his head in wonder. “Well, you are dressed up with enormous…er, like a nice girl” said Fred, breaking off from what he was going to say to spare George. “Here we are then!” They looked around. A postal van roared past, out of the depot, but otherwise the place seemed deserted. Fatty heaved a great sigh. “Okay then. Leave the talking to me,” he said, hitching up his chest. They walked up to the office that Roger had led them to before and knocked on the door. A fat man opened it. He eyed Fatty up and down once before speaking, dwelling on the socks area. “What do you want me darlin’?” “Is Roger in please sir?” said Fatty, in his best falsetto. “Hur hur” the man chuckled. “For you me dear, I am sure he is. Yer friends can come in too I s’pose.” The three filed into the room. Behind them the fat man closed and locked the door. “Oi! Roger! Yer have some company yer do! Come out ere yer scroat!” There was a noise from the next room and Roger issued forth. “You again! Oh, hello my dear, I don’t seem to recognize you.” He leered at Fatty, who preened. “Hello sir, I was wondering if you had seen our er, jolly good friend, Ann? You may remember her. She was with us a little while ago?” “Fark, was that the bint…” began the fat man, shutting up as Roger gave him a Look. “Why no. Didn’t she leave with you?” Roger asked in badly feigned surprise. “No sir” said Fatty, overdoing it. “Well, she could be in the storeroom I suppose” said Roger, acting badly enough to win an Oscar. Do you want to come and have a look around?” he said, smiling what he probably hoped was a charming smile. “Er, Rog,” said Richard, “a quick word?” “Surely” beamed Roger and the two huddled in the corner and spoke in low voices for a moment. Fred strained to hear what was said. “..enough cargo for this time…” “…cares? I fancy a bit of… great big ti…” “…on then, you owe me…” Was all he heard. Richard belched enormously and looked up at the kids. “Har har. Never mind us. Just grown up talk.” Roger held out his hand to Fatty. “Come now little…um, girl. Let’s go and have a look around shall we? Tell me, do you like puppies?” The two disappeared through the other door, Fatty casting a desperate glance back at Fred before he was dragged through. “So then. Just us lads then eh?” said Richard. “Excuse me sir, but I am a girl” said George. Fred winced internally. “Are you now?” Richard said, showing renewed interest. He reached into the fridge and offered a beer to both of them. “Go on now, I won’t tell!” he winked. Fred sighed and took the can. It wasn’t as if he had never drunk before. George looked doubtful. “Is it Ginger beer?” she asked. Richard was about to say something then changed his mind. “Er, nearly. Close enough I expect?” He winked again and slumped down on the sofa, patting the seat indicating George should sit next to him. Before Fred could stop her she did. He closed his eyes and determined to have a talk with George sometime soon. “So,” Richard took a deep swig from his own can, “you still at school then?” George took a pull of her can, and coughed. “Gosh, this is funny tasting Ginger beer Mr. Richard.” “New brand my dear, just on the market. And call me Dick eh?” He winked again, causing Fred to wonder if he had some sort of affliction. Fred was just about to say something when he thought he heard muffled noises from behind the door. When he looked back ‘Dick’ had his arm around George in a ‘friendly’ manner. “So dear, how old would you be then? About 16 yes?” “Oh Mr. Dick! You are a one!” said George, taking another large swig out of the can and giggling. “That’s near enough a yes for me hur hur” Dick sat closer to George. Fred couldn’t take it any longer. “George! I think we should be going now! We don’t want to keep your mother waiting outside, do we now?” “Eh? Your bloody mother is outside? Shit! Why didn’t you say so? Give me that!” Dick snatched the beer away from George and hurriedly stood up. He grabbed Fred’s can away too and shoved them both out of the office. “Your friend will be out in a moment. Not a word of this eh? Our secret!” he gave a final wink and slammed the door. Fred sighed and turned to George who giggled and wrapped her arms around him, catching him by surprise. “Oh Fred, what a nice man Mr. Dick was” she slurred. “You were about to find out how nice I think” said Fred, suddenly very conscious of Georges curves under her baggy sweater. An image of her leg popped into his mind unbidden, and his teenage thoughts were cruelly derailed by certain ‘suggestions’ from another area of his body. Mainly about what you could do to drunk and innocent girls when all alone with them. “Do you like me Fred?” George’s face was close to his now. Fred wondered how she could ask that, when the answer was sticking into her thigh. “Oh yes George, you are… super.” “Whizzo!” Fred looked into Georges’ green eyes. They drew closer… The door flew open behind them. “Thank-you Mr. Roger sir!” came Fatty’s voice. “Bye bye now!” The moment was broken. George blinked and pulled away from Fred. They both turned to look at Fatty. Fred gasped. “What happened to you?” “Did you get anything?” said George. “I’ll say so” said Fatty, but under his breath. Then, in a louder voice, “Let’s just get out of here okay?” Fred and George hurried off then paused a moment. Fred looked back. “Come on Fatty, what you walking so slowly for?” Fatty grimaced and continued to limp up the road in a very peculiar stride. “It’s er… these bloody girls knickers. Come on! I have information.” They walked on until they came to an empty bus stop, where they sat down, Fatty somewhat gingerly. “So? Spill the beans!” George said. Fatty shifted position carefully before speaking. “As far as I could make out, Roger was one of those that took Ann. He had a bite mark on… He had a bite mark. Fresh.” He looked uncomfortable for a moment then carried on. “Ann and your step-mother are going to be moved by truck to the ship at midnight. I don’t know where the ship is going.” “Crikey! To the darkest parts of Africa I’ll be bound!” said George. “We must act quickly!” “Okay, but what do we do?” said Fred. A good question… “Wait a minute. You didn’t put the girls pants on!” >>>>>> That, I will have you know, was not easy to write. Who would have thought you lot would vote to go back to Roger. Filthy beasts. So. Suggestions for their next move? <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:02 am    Post subject: Well, wince in pain comes to mind, then try and get on the boat somehow. Could they just creep on without being noticed in the dead of night? Or are there armed guards and other various peoples. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:07 am    Post subject: Heh, dirty, filthy chapter Chinaren. I like. I kinda agree with Lordy, can they get onto the boats without being seen? Does it look quite easy? If there are some guards, I reckon Fatty and George should try and talk their way in, and distract the guards so Fred can slip in as well. Then they can go and see if they can find Ann. It'd be a shame to lose her ass.... her. :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:13 am    Post subject: LOL. Great chapter, China. The threesome don't even know which boat is going. Couldn't they just hitch a ride on the truck that is heading out to meet the boat? _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:21 am    Post subject: Quote: The threesome don't Threesome eh? Mmm. George is familiar with the docks area, so she could likely get them in. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:27 am    Post subject: I knew you would take that comment to extreme, China. George seems to know a lot about this place, best let her lead the group. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:27 am    Post subject: Can't just try to guess which boat they're on...I like Rave's suggestion. Of course you could try to stir up a bit of trouble right quick. Get in touch with a zealous neighborhood watch group. Preferably one with a lot of parents of teen daughters. Have Fatty crying and going on about how the bad man made rude suggestions, and it won't take long at all before you have a group of angry, shotgun-toting dads backing you up. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:29 am    Post subject: Fauna, you are on an idea roll today! One idea Medal nominated to you! and... [Edit] Quote: I knew you would take that comment to extreme, China. I aim to please! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:30 am    Post subject: Odd...it tastes like a jelly roll. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:32 am    Post subject: LOL. *rushes off* _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:03 am    Post subject: Spiffing chapter old chap. I like the idea of trying to get on the truck. The neighbourhood watch is a good idea, although we don't have many shotgun wielding neighbourhood watches round here - they can certainly cause a scene. So when does Julian arrive Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:04 am    Post subject: oh, SO funny! Amazing piece of literature, old chap! I;d say head straight down to the docks - and I'm sure that Fatty could help persuade any sailors on guard to , um, look the other way for a few minute while the other two slip in, I mean past. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:35 am    Post subject: Great chapter Chinaren. I like a lot of the ideas already up. Can't think of anything that hasn't already been suggested, so I'll just sit back and enjoy for once Back to top Author rlz Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:47 am    Post subject: Solomon Birch wrote: *holds breath* Do you ever run out of breath? I've never seen you "unhold" it. Great story china, a few funny points here. chinaren wrote: “Bloody hell” said Fatty holding up the afore mentioned object. “A couple of pillows might just about do it.” An image of her leg popped into his mind unbidden, and his teenage thoughts were cruelly derailed by certain ‘suggestions’ from another area of his body. HAHA!! That was a good chapter, I say that they try to sneak on the docks, just like almost everyone else has said. Look forward to Chapter 3!! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:10 pm    Post subject: rlz wrote: Solomon Birch wrote: *holds breath* Do you ever run out of breath? I've never seen you "unhold" it. He does when he needs to answer...Breathing is an unconcious function. We just do it. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:30 am    Post subject: Polls up then fellows. Best foot forward what? _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:33 am    Post subject: Voted for distraction then sneaking onto the ship, as it was the closest matching to my suggestion. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:36 am    Post subject: Solomon Birch wrote: Voted for distraction then sneaking onto the ship, as it was the closest matching to my suggestion. Well, kind of incorporated yours into number 1 Soily. Sorry. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:42 am    Post subject: Voted for getting onto the ship - apart from anything else, it has so much more comedy potential than the others! Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:48 am    Post subject: chinaren wrote: Solomon Birch wrote: Voted for distraction then sneaking onto the ship, as it was the closest matching to my suggestion. Well, kind of incorporated yours into number 1 Soily. Sorry. LOL, ah well. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 1:59 pm    Post subject: Voted for the ship, and winning. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:03 am    Post subject: Right then, next chapter is underway. If you have any more ideas, well. Too late. Hopefully will post within the hour, unless I get tired and have to finish tomorrow. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:25 am    Post subject: Chapter 4. Push it all the way in! In case you haven’t got the idea by now: This story may contain filth and depravity. I will probably keep it tasteful, but look, I said probably. If you have sensitive eyes, mind or other parts that need to be closeted, best leave them behind before you read it. You have been warned in big red letters! Chapter 4. Push it all the way in! “So you were peeking were you? I always suspected you swung that way.” “That’s a fine thing coming from someone dressed in girl’s clothes!” “Chaps, chaps, let’s leave the banter until later what?” George broke into the conversation, and the two boys subsided slowly. “Now, as I see it we should get down to the docks sharpish.” Fred shook his head. “I dunno. Do you think you could get us in?” “No problem! I go down with daddy all the time!” “What about on the ship? This African one you say?” said Fatty, adjusting his brassier. “What you looking at pervert?” he added to a fat man in a long coat who was passing by. “Mmm, good point old bean. May be a bit of a sticky wicket that one.” George put a finger to her lips. “What we need,” said Fred, “is a diversion.” “How about the Police?” George suggested. “Are you kidding? They wouldn’t listen to us!” Fred looked at Fatty again. “What? I have done my part in this. More than my part I would say! Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me at all!” “Come on Fatty, be reasonable” Fred said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. “I was thinking of old Mrs. Jenkins and her gang.” “Oh super!” Exclaimed George in excitement, leaping up and planting a kiss on Fred’s cheek. “That’ll be an absolute wheeze!” Fred was momentarily thrown off course by the kiss. George was beginning to impinge upon his thoughts in way that she had never done before, and unless she stopped it he was going to have to find a quiet spot for a bit of serious self abuse for a few minutes. Fatty was rubbing his chin in thought and didn’t notice. “Well…” he said. “I must admit, getting that old bag riled up may well be worth it. She has been pretty much on the ball since we did the old dog shit trick in her garden.” “And she told on you when she saw you drinking that beer on the street that time” coaxed Fred, snapping back from images of George in much less clothing. “Yeah, bitch!” Fatty stood up with a determined look on his face. “Let’s do it!” “Whizzo!” > Fatty, his dress in a disheveled state staggered up the garden path to Mrs. Jenkins cottage. George and Fred hunkered down behind some bushes nearby, watching his progress. “Heh! This is perfect! It looks like she is having some sort of meeting with her coven. That old battleaxe will be down to the docks before you can say evil stepmother.” “You know,” said George, “you have been awfully dashing just lately.” She put her hand on Fred’s arm, which triggered an appropriate response somewhere further down his body. He groaned slightly. “Ann would be awfully thrilled if she could see what you were doing for her” she continued. Fred tried to think about Ann and her obvious charms, but the nearness of George overwhelmed even those two items. His crotch screamed at him to make some sort of move before it exploded with frustration. “Well,” he said. “I am not doing it only for her you know. You have been a… a jolly good friend for a long time now.” He looked at George in the dim yellow glow of a nearby streetlight. “Jeepers! I am awfully glad you think so. You’re a pretty special fellow to me too you know.” Fred moved slightly closer. She didn’t move away. “Georgina, perhaps you and me…” He was cut off by the banging of a door from Mrs. Jenkins house as it was slammed open. Fred sighed in frustration. He was starting to develop an aversion to doors! Down the path came the frightening visage of Mrs. Jenkins herself, dragging Fatty behind her, and followed by what was often referred to as her ‘coven’, though never within earshot. Mrs. Jenkins had, in Fred’s mind, been born several centuries too late. She would have made a great witch finder or torturer in ages past. In these less enlightened times she had set herself up with the next best thing. She had formed a neighborhood watch and worked the area with an efficiency that any law enforcement agency could only dream about, monitoring movements of the local residents with frightening accuracy, especially those pesky kids. Fred’s mind’s eye placed a large pointy black hat on her head and the shadows cast by the streetlights seemed to illuminate a creature from the lower depths of hell. “Cripes!” said George. “She is full steam ahead!” Fred chuckled. “Let’s get going, she is going to hit those docks like a bat out of hell, and we need to be there to take advantage of the chaos. He grabbed George’s hand and the two scampered off into the night. Behind them Old Mrs. Jenkins and the knitting circle from Hades marched on. You could almost see the torches and pitchforks bobbing about in outrage. No Frankenstein’s castle would have been safe. > Fred and George arrived gasping at the entrance to the docks. A security guard loomed large infront of them as they approached. “Ere! You two can’t…Oh, it’s you Miss Georgina. What are you doing down here at this time of night? This your boyfriend?” He gave a playful wink. “Hello Harris!” said George, ignoring his question to the disappointment of Fred. “Daddy sent me down to get something from his office. I won’t be long.” “Go ahead then Miss.” Harris touched his cap and then turned to look up the road where angry shouts could be heard approaching. Fred and George slipped past quickly and disappeared into the shadows. “Let’s watch!” said Fred, peering over his shoulder as the guard made a brief and near suicidal attempt to stop the force of Mrs. Jenkins on Full Outrage mode. “No, we can’t wait! They will catch us up.” George dragged him onwards into the gloomy dark of the port. Large ships stood quietly in the night, looming above them in eerie silence. She led him between several storage bays and past giant containers. After a few minutes they crouched down behind a rusty piece of machinery. “There” she said pointing to a large container ship that stood on its own. Fred couldn’t make out many details, but he could see the light of a cigarette near the gangplank. A guard no doubt. “Let’s get closer, we need to be in a good position for when the mob arrives.” They edged nearer, eventually taking refuge as close as they dared behind a trailer. “Here they come” whispered George. Indeed, the fearsome countenance of Justice, in the shape of Mrs. Jenkins and co. was bearing down hard on the unfortunate cigarette smoker. Fatty trotted behind, sucked along in the wake. “Are you the monster that manhandled this little girl?” demanded the harsh voice of the New Inquisition. “And put out that cigarette this instant! Filthy habit! Damned savages!” The guard, a large black fellow who would have done any nightclub bouncers club proud, tried to rally. “Listen lady…” he began. “Ooh, bad move!” said Fred, noticing Fatty starting to slip away. “Come on!” he said and they slipped forward. “Don’t Lady me you bloody heathen! I’ve a good mind to tan your hide! The name is Mrs. Jemima Hilda Jenkinson, but you may address me as Maam. Now then, I demand to see your captain! Where is he…?” Fred and George nodded to Fatty as they arrived at the gangplank. The guard was now surrounded by angry old women all intent on their prey. The coast was clear, but they had to be quick. “Good work Fatty! Come on!” said George, and the three ran up onto the ship. Their luck was holding. No one was around. “Quick, people will be investigating the noise soon,” said Fred. “Which way George?” George looked about. “No idea really. I have never been on a ship.” “What? I thought you came here all the time?” Hissed Fatty as they ducked between some nautical equipment. “Yes, but we do cargo containers. I only go to the office!” “Bloody Nora” said Fatty under his breath. The three held still for a moment as several figures walked by. “Come on then. One way is as good as another.” Fred scuttled out onto the deck again and headed for a nearby door. Opening it carefully he peered around. A stark metal corridor lead off in two directions and stairs led down. “Down” mouthed George, and they slipped inside. Every sound seemed to be magnified and Fred’s heart was pounding ten to the dozen. They followed the stairs down several flights until they emerged into a large space. “Some sort of hold for cargo maybe” George whispered. They crept in. “Hoi! You!” came a voice. “Rumbled! Scarper!” said George and she bolted off behind a nearby stack of crates. Fred and Fatty turned and bumped into each other, knocking each other over in their haste. “Watch it!” said Fatty, scrambling on the floor. “You watch it!” said Fred and the two stood up and started to run. Right into a waiting figure. “Well well well. What have we here?” Large strong hands grasped the two boys by the collar. “A couple of stowaways! And by the Holy mother! A well built one as well! How would you like to join our little cruise my dear?” Fatty looked up at the large African man holding them. A gold tooth glinted amid a row of shiny white ones. As if daring stereotyping to say anything, he had an eye patch over his left eye. Long dreadlocked hair flowed in greasy waves over a dirty blue overall. “Per… per… please sir, we are sorry. Please let us go.” Stammered Fatty. A whole new vision of his future with a need for soft cushions flashed in front of his eyes. The man roared with laughter. “Oh I bet ye are! But you will be a whole lot sorrier soon. The men could use a little diversion like you!” He dragged the two in his iron grip down more stairs and into another room. Several other large black men were playing cards around a table. Smoke hung in the air and bottles of beer were scattered about the room. “Look what I found lads!” shouted their captor to a general cheer as they caught sight of Fatty in his large bosom disguise. “Oh my lord” said Fatty, who had gone weak at the knees. Fred found himself roughly pushed through another door, where he landed on hard cold floor in a small room. It turned out to be some sort of crude dormitory. The door slammed behind him with a metallic clang. He stood up and beat on it in a futile manner. “Let me out!” He was ignored. On the other side of the door he heard the blubbering voice of Fatty and loud exclamations as he was examined. “Well! Look at those! Come on my sweet, don’t be shy!” Came one voice. “I have first go! You had the last one!” came another. “Yer, but she was about 50! No juice in her. This one now…” There was a tearing sound and a shriek. “Hey! What’s this then?! This isn’t a girl!” “That’s right, all male me!” came Fatty’s quavering voice. There was a pause as the captors considered this turn of events. “Ah what the hell” said the first voice again. “I was never that fussy.” Fred sank down next to the door and winced as Fatty’s cries grew in crescendo. “Oh no! Please! Oh my GOD! You have to be kidding me! How big!???” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Fred couldn’t help it. Despite everything, he sniggered. >>>>>> Ouch! Well, Fatty is in for it now! So, how do we get out of this jam? <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:54 am    Post subject: *grins* Enid Blyton would be turning in her crypt, right about now OK, I think Fred should play willing - do his part for the escape effort. After all, Fatty's probably not as much fun as someone who was up for it. ... and a partner that isn't being held down at the time, has a lot of natural weaponry they can use. Once you have these guys by the sacred banana area, they might be a little more willing to listen to reason Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:25 am    Post subject: Chinaren! Blimey, your a filthy one you. *snigger* It's hilarious though, well done. A bit of a sticky situation, but George managed to get away. Maybe she can... um, 'distract' them. Can't think how, but I'm sure you'd be able to come up with something nice and foul. I mean clever. Fred and Fatty picking a fight doesn't sound like a clever idea, and even if they managed to get a kick into the crown jewels, there are lot's of the scary black pirates, so they wouldn't stand much chance of escaping. Can't think of anything else, but if I do, then I'll come back, *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:47 am    Post subject: Cripes! I think that is time for that smashing George to come up with a Whizzo plan! That would be simply super! You know - something like getting up close to deck, so the 'coven' can hear, and giving a nice pretty feminine scream - that should cause the stuff to hit the fan. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:00 pm    Post subject: I tend to think like Stubby. If George was within earshot of the knitting circle from Hades, and screamed out something along the lines of, "Unhand me you big brute! Don't touch me there, it makes me uncomfortable," then poor Fatty might just be able to walk away from this with a natural gait. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:10 pm    Post subject: Chinaren, you dirty minded beast. I agree - if George manages to alert the Witches, that would be their best chance of making it out unharmed. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:06 pm    Post subject: Crikey. What a mess the group has crashed into. F5 all those who say Fred should alert the Witches. A girlish scream is probably he's best bet. May make the old ladies out there think a bit harder of what could be going on in that ship. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Phang Elder Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 2160 Location: Phang's House of Mints Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:32 pm    Post subject: ...Funjy. F5ing the others with the girlish screaming! WE DEMAND GIRLY SHRIEKS! _________________ Stuff here Da Huuuuub Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:06 pm    Post subject: I think we can find some girly shrieks from somewhere. I will put up another poll soon, once I PM Stoat to take the old one down. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:49 pm    Post subject: LOL. Thats where my vote is going towards. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:27 pm    Post subject: Poll's gone Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:39 pm    Post subject: Oh. Thanks Stoat. I forgot to PM you even. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:44 pm    Post subject: K, polls up, with a 'wait and see' option, 'cos two choices looked a little lonely. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 5:36 am    Post subject: Voted for George to save the day, and winning. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:33 am    Post subject: Had to go with Fred and him helping. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 6:14 am    Post subject: I am going mad. I had Stoat delete the poll for some reason thinking it was the old one. Anyway, George to get help was a fairly clear leader, so that shall be the way it goes, once I get some time, which will likely be Sunday or Monday now. No time over the weekend. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Nate Z Guest Items Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 7:38 am    Post subject: Meh... It's funny, but has so much sex and censored out swearwords (a word of advice The great firewall of china is for censorship, you'd be the last person i'd think would censor stuff, but i guess for the sake of politeness and cityofif rules you had too). I know it's hard to write a funny story or whatever without sex sex andm ore sex but please!, after watching scary movie and all these american comedies don't let the repetitiveness keep going. Anyways, decent job. But try to find more kinds of humor. It looks like it's going to be not too bad a story but fix it up a little and i'll most likely give it a B or B+. I personally think they shouldn't go to the post office because in my opinion going to the last place the person was seen never really helps because the aliens usually mindwipe the witnesses. (can't have the Men in black win again can they?) Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:13 pm    Post subject: Try reading some of China's other stories. He seems to be one of the few writers here who has a story in every storygame forum. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:15 pm    Post subject: I don't know - there's a fair few of us now. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:20 pm    Post subject: Writing in every storygame forum? Or just writers in general? I know I haven't written a story for every forum. Glassbreaker is my second storygame. I did have a story in Linear, but I lost interest in it, so I had sax delete it, or more of he deleted it because it was clogging the forum. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:22 pm    Post subject: A story in every forum. There's me, Soily, Chinaren, Rai at least - and there might well be more I've just forgotten about. Idea Master maybe? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:25 pm    Post subject: Well compare it to the number of people that actually write storygames, the number is a small percentage. Personally, I would like to attempt that myself since I have so many plot bunnies flooding my head, but I have so little time. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:21 pm    Post subject: Quote: It's funny, but has so much sex and censored out swearwords (a word of advice The great firewall of china is for censorship, you'd be the last person i'd think would censor stuff, but i guess for the sake of politeness and cityofif rules you had too). I "censored" them myself when I wrote it. Whilst I do have warnings at the top of the chapter, this story is (supposed to be ) more humor than adult, and hence I think the very strong language detracts a little bit from that. If you see what I mean. Anyway, The Great Wall of China only censors sites, not individual words (currently). It affects things less than you would imagine, though I can't get to a lot of blog sites, some news sites and wikepedia without using a proxy. Mind you, there are enough news sites I can reach (CNN is one), I don't think much of wikapedia, and I despise so called Blogs. So I don't miss much really. and... Keep it on topic please people. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:13 pm    Post subject: Sorry China. We are just impatiently waiting for your next chapter. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: Sorry China. We are just impatiently waiting for your next chapter. I forgive you Rav! I want to finish this one as well, so I will do it very soon. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 5:55 pm    Post subject: You do know that 'Rav' is Ravagaar, right China? I am Rave. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:05 am    Post subject: Chapter 5. Was it good for you? Okay, this is the last chapter of this short, but just in case you happened to have skipped all the other big red warnings, here it is again: Warning! Danger! I have written, or will be writing in this case, this story with my adult content filter turned off. Way off. If you have religion that forbids stuff, which most seem to, then perhaps it is time for prayers or something. Minors, shouldn’t read this either, though this warning will probably ensure they do. Still, what can you do? Kids these days… Chapter 5. Was it good for you? Fred listened to the howls of Fatty through the door, which soon built up into a steady rhythm. The card players shouted various encouraging comments, some of which Fred hadn’t heard before and filed away for future reference. There was a sound. Fred looked around. “hhhst!” “Hello?” “Up here Frederick!” Only one person ever called him Frederick besides his father. “George? Where are you?” “In this air duct, or whatever it is jolly well called. Is Fatty with you? What is happening in that room?” Fred stood up and examined the grating high in the wall. George’s freckled face stared down at him. “er, they are, um…” inspiration struck. “Interrogating him! Yes, that’s it. Brutal lot this mob.” “Jeepers! What bounders! We have to do something! Stand back, I am going to try and bash my way through.” Fred stepped back as George banged away on the grate, which bent and then finally fell off. Fred managed to catch it before it hit the ground. George squirmed out of the hole and landed on him. “Hello.” She said, her body molding to his. “Hi there.” Said Fred, who despite laying on a cold hard floor, was the most comfortable he had ever been. Little Fred woke up and seconded the opinion. ‘Say something witty!’ His libido screamed. “Er, nice of you to drop in.” George smiled and Fred nearly had an Emission. “Once again you save me Frederick. I really must do something to reward you one of these days. What would you suggest old bean?” Fred’s obvious answer was cut short as footsteps approached the door. “Quick! Hide!” he hissed. George leapt away, much to the chagrin of Little Fred, and dived under a nearby bunk. Fred sat on top of it, his legs crossed tightly. The door opened and a very unhappy Fatty was thrown in. “We will be back for more when the boss goes” said a gruff voice as it was slammed shut. Fred leapt over to Fatty, who was moaning and holding his rear end. “Are you alright Fatty?” he said. Fatty turned purple. “All right! ALL RIGHT??? When I can walk again I am going to take a baseball bat and shove it so far up your…” “Fatty! What did they do to you? Did you talk?” George interrupted his tirade. “Scream more like” sniggered Fred, who couldn’t resist it. “Don’t be nasty. Fatty, can you sit up?” “I would rather not just now” groaned Fatty from the floor. “Come on, help me get him to this bed.” George and Fred lifted their unfortunate friend over to the nearest bunk, where he collapsed, face down. “Did you see anything?” asked George. “I’ll bloody say I did.” Fatty said mournfully. “I think I will probably have flashbacks for some time to come. After gym in the showers especially.” He shuddered. “I did hear something about the boss coming” said Fred. He looked up at the gap George had slid through. It would be tight, but he might just about be able to squeeze in. He turned to George. “Look, old Jenkins and the other witches are probably still about. You squeeze back outside, get near them and start screaming. That should get them onboard, lead them here.” “I can do that. What about you?” she said. “I will get out and try and find the prisoners” he replied. “You aren’t going to leave me are you?” said Fatty. “You just rest here, I will sneak around and open the door from the outside.” “Well, don’t be long that’s all. I think I have lost feeling in my legs as it is.” George leaned over, a concerned look on her face. “You must be strong Fatty. Just grit your teeth and take it like a man.” “I don’t want to take it like a man!!” Yelled Fatty, flailing his arms around wildly. “I don’t want to take it at all! I just want to go home and make out with that new girl from Physics; I reckon she could go all the way with a bit of wine.” “That’s the spirit!” said George, ignoring him. “Keep your pecker up!” “It’s not my pecker I am worried about.” “Come on, let’s go.” Said Fred. “I will see you later” he said to Fatty. They returned back to the air duct. George, after some struggle, managed to give Fred a leg up, and Fred squirmed into the space feet first with only a little difficulty. He turned around and helped George up. The two slid through the narrow spaces like a couple of overgrown rats. “Turn left” said George. “It heads back to the hold.” Fred turned left and soon they were sliding out onto a couple of large crates. “Right, you go off and get the witches down here. Just scream and tell them there are bad men, the navy couldn’t keep them off if you say that.” “Okay Captain” said George, doing a mock salute and grinning. “I will slide off this way and try and get Fatty out.” “Fred.” “Yes?” George leaned over and planted a sloppy wet kiss on him. “Be careful.” She slipped away whilst he was still reeling. “Cripes.” He said and then shook his head. Time for that later he thought, rather reluctantly. He slipped off the crate, heading back towards their prison, as best as he could make out anyway. Sneaking carefully from crate to crate he moved through the shadows, jumping at every little noise. Finally he thought he recognized a doorway the man had taken them too. He moved slowly towards it, every sense on heightened alert. Muffled voices came from beyond it. “…just take them back” one voice, maybe female, was saying. Fred frowned. It seemed familiar somehow. Another voice spoke, a deeper one this time, Fred missed the first part as a rat scurried out behind him, nearly making him crap his pants. “...uge, worth a fortune.” “I don’t care,” the woman said. “You do as I say, if you know what’s good for you. Take me to them now.” There was general grumblings and sound of movement. A door was heard to open and then, a few moments later, close again. Silence. Very carefully he turned the handle and swung it open, just a crack, and peered through. The room beyond was the card room, the cards now scattered about the floor as a result of Fatty’s ‘interrogation’. No one else was there. Two other doors led out, one was the one leading to his previous prison. Smoke hung in the air, a familiar smell it seemed, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. Fred gulped, took a deep breath and ran as silently as he could into the room to the door he had been thrust through not too long before. The key was still in the lock. He turned it and pulled the door open. “Fatty?” “No! No more! I will tell you everything! Take Fred, he has a cuter bum I swear!” “Really? Nice of you to notice. It’s me. Get up, they could be back any moment!” There was a noise and Fatty, moving painfully but swiftly, limped into view. “Come on!” said Fred, looking around nervously. Fatty slipped out and grabbed Fred in a hug. “Oh thank-you thank-you, thank-you! I will never forget this!” “We aren’t out yet” said Fred, trying to detangle himself from his friends grasp. “Crap! Listen! They are coming back!” He looked around. There were several chests stacked up in the corner of the room. “This way!” He dragged Fatty behind them and they crouched down, just as the other door opened again. The sounds of three or four people could be heard entering the room. “…still say it is a big waste of profit.” Fred peered through a crack and could make out one of their tormentors talking. “You still have the other one, she is still young enough to bring in a good price.” The woman’s voice spoke clearly. Fred frowned again. He definitely knew that one. “Her? Blimey, I feel sorry for whoever she ends up with. She managed to get half of my savings off me before I managed to lock her away.” “Yes, I am inclined to agree. Now, I have to go before I am missed.” There was the sound of walking and the door opened and closed once again. There was a moment of silence, and then one of the men spoke. “Right, shall we continue with our party then?” There was general agreement, and Fred could feel Fatty trembling next to him. A slight whimper slipped through his lips. The door to the prison was opened and the escape soon discovered. “Blast! Search the place! They can’t have got far!” Fred ducked further down as sounds of movement grew closer. Just as he thought they were done for another noise distracted the men. “Here! Here it is Mrs. Jenkins! These are the bad men!” “Oh thank bejesus! We are saved! It is George!” said Fatty. The harsh cries of Mrs. Jenkins and her coven flooded the room. “You disgusting beasts! I will have the police on you faster than you can say Upstanding Law Abiding Citizen! What have you been doing to this poor girl? Speak up my man! I know the chief Constable I do! Well, what are you just standing there for? Answer me!” The men retreated under the verbal barrage, unable to get a word in, despite the constant flow of demands for explanations. Mrs. Jenkins, wielding her Umbrella of Justice advanced, forcing them back against the other exit. Fred peered out from behind his hiding place. The women had their captors backed against the wall. Already two of them had slipped out of the door. George was standing behind them, looking around. “Now!” said Fred, and dragging Fatty after him, made a break for it. George saw them at once, and the three of them made haste towards the door. As he went Fred thought he saw a very small pipe on the card table, but he didn’t have time to stop and check. “Jeepers chaps! I thought you had bought the farm!” George grabbed them both and led the way out through the ship. “Your timing was perfect,” said Fred. Fatty muttered something under his breath, but limped on after them, glad to get away without further abuse to his rear end. They slipped off the ship with no further incident, Mrs. Jenkins and co. having swept the way clean before them. Once clear of the dock they headed for Georges house, stopping at the gate. “If any of you ever mention any of his to anyone, I will personally make it my ultimate goal to make your life a living hell” said Fatty. “Oh Fatty, don’t be like that. You were very brave, standing up to them like that.” “Well, sitting down won’t be an option for a while.” Fatty looked at his watch. “It’s late. I am going home. See you tomorrow.” He staggered off without a backward glance, the remains of Ann’s clothes flapping about him as he went. Fred looked at George. “I am sorry we didn’t get Ann back. Maybe tomorrow we can think of something else.” George held his hand. “Oh Frederick. You are so sweet, thank you for everything. You have been a real, a real…” She moved close, and Fred drew her into his arms. “Finally!” he thought. “George! Frederick!” Someone shouted out. Fred gritted his teeth. “Ann!” shouted George and pulled away from Fred to greet the wobbling form. “What happened to you? We thought you were a goner! Are you alright old girl?” “Oh, it was nothing. Took me on board a ship I think with some other girls, it was jolly exciting really. Then, just a little while ago, they came and took me back home. I expect they realized I hadn’t got anything of value.” “Oh Ann! You are valuable to me!” said George, and hugged her. “Right, well. It’s good to see you again Ann” said Fred, feeling definitely put out. “Is that sweet Frederick?” Ann came over and gave him a hug. It was really too much for Fred. He pulled away, admittedly with some reluctance. “Sorry girls. I really have to dash.” He waved and ran home. His dad wasn’t in, probably still at the police station, so he went straight to his room and performed a gratuitous act of wanton self abuse. “Arrgggg! Oh my god! That’s better! Bloody girls!” > Mr Merkin recovered from his loss after some time, and soon, to Fred’s renewed bewilderment re-married with a younger and blonder woman. A year later they had a postcard. Fred picked it up as he was leaving for school. It was from Darkest Africa and had a picture of his late step-mother, barely recognizable dressed in a variety of native garments and sitting on a throne, next to a tired looking African Warrior. The message simply said: “the weather’s fine!” Fatty recovered from his ordeal, though he could never use the school showers again without violently shaking. He managed to get lucky with the new girl from Physics the following week, after the predicted bottle of wine. And Fred, George and Ann? Well, that is a story for another time… End. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:50 am    Post subject: [color=darkviolet]A very good ending, China. LOL. . _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:48 am    Post subject: *giggles* Another 5 chapter blockbuster. Well done China! Good ending Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:44 am    Post subject: Is it over? Damn. Funny stuff Chinny. Didn't solve not one little mystery, but sure got into heaps of trouble. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 8:41 am    Post subject: Read this earlier, but as per usual, the school didn't let me reply... But, yes, very good. Sodomy by big black pirates... yum. And Fred got in good! Woo! Nice one China! :biggrin: _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Phang Elder Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 2160 Location: Phang's House of Mints Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Brilliant. Simply brilliant. The sex has nothing to do with it, I swear. _________________ Stuff here Da Huuuuub Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:30 pm    Post subject: Poor Fatty - I think that covers it. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:26 pm    Post subject: Thanks all. Glad you liked it. I have a vague idea for a sequel, but that won't come for a little while, until my SGame load has lessened at the very least! Code: Didn't solve one little mystery Ah, but the clues are there if you look as to who is the mysterious boss. Now, wait a minute, I can't believe I forgot. I think there is a little matter of 75Fables for the Hot & Erotic entrant? And a 100Fables from the treasury for finishing a SGame? Mmm...? *Coughs and holds out hand, Bellhop style* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:06 pm    Post subject: Gah - I was just arriving with a comment for the previous chapter and you've snuck in and finished it. I'll read the ending and be back _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:28 pm    Post subject: Smee wrote: Gah - I was just arriving with a comment for the previous chapter and you've snuck in and finished it. I'll read the ending and be back LOL! Sorry Smee! I wanted to finish it, to reduce my load and pave the way for my next new thing, as per the Shameless advertising thread. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:43 pm    Post subject: Well as that sounds cool I'll let you off _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:43 am    Post subject: So...are we going to have a sequel? _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:16 am    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: So...are we going to have a sequel? At some point I am sure Fred, Fatty, George and Ann will venture forth once more! I suspect old Uncle Qwerty will ask them over for the hols. Or something. *ahem* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:50 am    Post subject: Yeah, I figured that. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Sorrow_A Guest Items Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:57 pm    Post subject: I was afraid to read the last chapter, but let me tell you, the fourth chapter was the worst. Unless you're any one of the characters in the story, besides Fatty, in which case it was the best. So...it was the worst best story I've ever read, Chinaren. You can take that as an insult or a compliment, depending on if you're an pessimist or optimist. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:44 pm    Post subject: Sorrow_A wrote: I was afraid to read the last chapter, but let me tell you, the fourth chapter was the worst. Unless you're any one of the characters in the story, besides Fatty, in which case it was the best. So...it was the worst best story I've ever read, Chinaren. You can take that as an insult or a compliment, depending on if you're an pessimist or optimist. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:08 pm    Post subject: Well - I finally cought up and read the last chapter of this one. Some of the funniest material in the whole story! Excellent! Got to feel a little sorry for poor Fatty though *grin* congrats on the completion, too! Back to top Author Kalanna Rai Assassin for Hire Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Posts: 3102 Location: The Frozen North Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:55 pm    Post subject: Cheers on the completion mate! And as to the whole 'Fatty' issue... Serves you right you cross-dressing fairy! Leave our underware alone! Loved the tale China, gave me a few ideas... _________________ "It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..." "Music makes you braver." Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8879 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:57 pm    Post subject: Quote: Loved the tale China, gave me a few ideas... Oh ho! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Kalanna Rai Assassin for Hire Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Posts: 3102 Location: The Frozen North Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 12:13 am    Post subject: Not THOSE kind of ideas*! Ideas for character interaction in a 'friendly' way...Just wait and see what happens with Rillis and Ree... *You are a sick little orange monster...YEECH! _________________ "It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..." "Music makes you braver." 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