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Chinaren
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 Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:03 am Post subject: Murder by Magic. 7. THE MURDERER REVEALED!! |
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Various notes!
Synopsis.
'You' and your employer, Etrax Rigel - Magic Dick*, have had a mysterious invitation to Cronos Hall, home of the recently deceased Count Cronos.
Upon your arrival you met a young man, Josh, and his twin sister Sam. Along with other guests no one seemed to know why they were there.
The mystery was soon revealed by the Ghost of the Dead Count Cronos himself, who announced that he was stuck in Limbo until a situation was resolved. His magic, when alive, had predicted that certain people brought together would resolve his problem, though he couldn't say what it was.
The Count triggered a pre-prepared spell which activated a shield around the grounds, that prevented any exit or entry as well as severely limiting the magic power inside the hall.
That night you saw some girl slip inside Josh's room. You also heard two people speaking about doing something, but you don't know who they were.
Next morning Sam was found dead in Simon's room. Simon said he had come in late the previous night and slept on the couch to avoid disturbing her and found her dead in the morning. Etrax says the story holds up, though of course he can't say for sure. The time of death was between 1 and 3 am. Simon went to bed about 2.
Further rooting around has revealed that the Count's son, Rudolphus died some while ago in a lab accident at university. A diary indicates that someone called Malcolm doesn't believe it was an accident, though the authorities said otherwise.
Josh has said that Simon was not good enough to date Sam, though we are not sure why he thinks this. He was comforted by Harrow.
The third chapter ends with Simon, Harrow and Josh arguing and Simon saying he knows Josh was having an affair.
The fourth chapter: Facts start to emerge, and there is another murder...
Etrax breaks up the argument, and Yu questions Harrow about what he said, but he refuses to say anything more.
Etrax finds out that Samantha was two months pregnant, but we later discover that Simon was away on business with his father about that time.
In the corridor you pass Josh, who seems flustered, and then walk passed Harrow's room, to see him dropping some paper into the fireplace.
In the dining room Yu has a conversation with Malcolm and Alice. Malcolm insists there was foul play involved with Rudolphuses (Cronos' son) death. He says one of the potions was the wrong color. Alice disagrees, but Malcolm says he saw it with his own eyes.
Before dinner there is a scream, and everyone runs upstairs, where a maid has found Harrow dead, a knife through his heart.
Chapter 5. Where some interesting information comes to light.
Yu, Etrax and Veerch examine the murder scene, and Veerch says the murder was done without the aid of magic. Yu finds what appears to be a blackmail note from Harrow to Josh in the fireplace, though key parts are burnt.
Etrax points out there is no evidence of a struggle, whoever killed Harrow probably knew him, and took him by suprise.
Yu questions Josh, but Josh says nothing. Next he goes to Bridgette, but meets her father, the Major, who discloses that Josh (and presumably Sam) is an orphan.
Yu speaks to Bridgette who says Harrow was always hanging around them.
Veerch says the woman in the picture is Matilda, who used to work as a maid for the Count, and hints and scandal. She won't say more, but tells Yu to speak to Streeve, Alice's father.
Streeve gets upset when Yu shows him the picture, and divulges that he was married to Matilda before she worked for the Count. He also accuses the Count of being responsible for Matilda's death, though he says no more.
Yu returns to Etrax, and they ponder their next move...
Yu’s Notes:
Count Cronos is trapped in Limbo, though no one knows why.
His son, Rudolpohus was killed not too long ago in a lab accident, though Malcolm seems to think it there was more to it than that, he is the only one who thinks this.
Samantha was killed by some powerful death magic, despite the fact the Shield around the hall makes it very hard for the use of spells. Who could have managed such a feat? No one seems to have magic that powerful, unless the witch perhaps?
Sam was pregnant, two months, yet Simon was away on business about that time.
Simon seemed to dislike Harrow, not sure why.
The Butler has provided an old picture from about 20 years ago of the Count with a woman and two babies.
Harrow seems to have been blackmailing Josh for some reason.
Josh (and presumably Sam) were orphans, though they don’t/didn’t know this.
Was Bridgette the one Yu saw slip into Josh’s room that night? Is she lying because she is embarrassed? Or was it someone else Yu saw? If so, who?
Despite the blackmail, Harrow seems to have been quite close to Josh.
The woman in the picture was called Matilda. She seems to have worked here for the Count some years ago, but there was a scandal. She was married to Streeve before that, and he blames the Count for her death in some way.
The Cast.
I will attempt to find some pictures at some point! However, for now here are the people in the Manor. Please note, the information below is what has been discovered in the course of the story. As things progress I will add more.
Joshua: (Josh) Student at the Harkright Academy of magic. Twin brother to Samantha (Sam). Approx 20 years old. Slim, tall and good looking.
He in engaged to be married to Bridgette, daughter of Major Esper.
Joshua considers Simon to be 'not good enough' for Sam for some reason.
Father is Avanor, though you haven't seen them talking together.
Samantha: (Sam) Tall and very pretty, twin sister to Josh. Her boyfriend is Simon.
Sam is killed at the end of the second chapter by some form of death magic.
Simon Grately: Boyfriend to Sam. Son of a wealthy merchant. Sandy haired, about 21 years old. Seems to dislike Joshua.
Bridgette: Pretty blond haired girl of about 19. Daughter of the Major and engaged to Joshua. The Major has forbidden them to have 'intimate relations' before their marriage.
Major Esper: Father of Bridgette. A fierce looking man.
Veerch: Witch. Has a manservant Rupert. Sour disposition.
Rupert: Veerch's manservant. Large man.
Avanor: Introduced himself to you at dinner as the father of Josh and Sam. Seems to be a bit of a womanizer, or used to be when younger anyway. Doesn't seem too close to Josh and Sam.
Alice: Girl of about 25 in a green dress at dinner. Was with her father. An old slim man in a dark jacket. No further details.
Streeve. Alice's father. Was married to 'Matilda' (woman in a photo) some twenty something years ago.
Harrow: Friend of Josh. Seems to be close to Josh. Comforting him after the death of Sam and taken his side against Simon. Wore a blue suit at dinner and spoke to Sam and the others.
Killed at the end of the th chapter.
Malcolm: Stern young man in a dark suit. A friend of Rudolphus and the Cronos family he has said.
Raith: Young woman, newly married to Heath.
Heath: Newly married to Raith.
The Butler: An old man. Seems to move about quietly.
Lord Cronos: Dead for about three months. A powerful Wizard who seemed to be able to predict something of his problems after death, and arranged for the gathering. Lost his son not so long ago. Wife died about 20 years ago.
Rudolphus: Died recently in a school lab accident. The authorities seem to think it was an accident, though someone called Malcolm seems to think otherwise.
*Sorry, couldn't help myself.
Last edited by Chinaren on Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:12 pm; edited 23 times in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:04 am Post subject: |
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Prologue. Mysterious invitation.
The rain came down. Hard. Hitting the window like a million tiny bullets. I sucked deeply on my cigarette, watching the smoke rise in the dull light. It was my last one, and unless I got a break real quick, I would be paying Fat Tony an unpleasant fee.
My prayers were answered in an unexpected way. There was a sudden rap on the door.
“That you Marty?” I shouted, “I told ya already! I ‘aint got no rent for yer!”
The door swung open. It sure as hell was not Marty. A dame, and a looker, legs stretched up, way up. A figure that would make number eight jealous above those stems, and long flowing red hair to top it off.
“Mr. Dick? Private Dick?” she said. Her voice was low, sultry, like a hot summer night in the deep south, redolent of…
The quill paused over the parchment, hovering in the air as Etrax Rigel scratched his chin. “Redolent of what?” he said to himself. “Musky…something. What is musky? YU!”
His assistant walked through the door, an envelope in his hand. “Are you still working on that novel Mr. Rigel?” Yu asked. “How many times have you started it now? Ten, eleven?”
“It needs to be just right. These fantasy stories are not easy to write you know. What smells musky? And what do you have there?”
“Just arrived by private messenger.” Said Yu, putting the envelope down onto the desk.
Etrax picked it up and examined it. “Mmm, Mr. Etrax Rigel.” He flipped it over. “No return address. How interesting.” He examined the wax seal on the back. It was smudged and he couldn’t make anything out. Shrugging he broke the seal and pulled out a single piece of paper.
“What is it?” asked Yu, sitting down on a chair and leaning forward.
“You, and one guest, are invited to Cronos Manor this weekend” read Etrax. “Your services will be required. Your regular fee will be paid, plus a bonus of 1,000 Crowns if you can bring about a successful resolution.” Etrax turned the sheet over. “That’s it.”
“A successful resolution to what?” Yu asked.
“It doesn’t say. It does say will be required though, which implies…”
“Something that hasn’t happened yet?”
“Exactly Yu. And as most of my cases involve involuntary death…”
“Someone is going to be killed?”
“I am pleased to see you paying attention.” Etrax looked up and waved a hand. A large book sailed over from the bookshelf and landed in his hand. He opened it with a grunt.
“Cronos… Cronos…” his finger slid down the page. “Here we are. Cronos Manor, owned, not surprisingly, by the Cronos family. Old money, made filthy rich by importing various rare artifacts plundered from the Far East.”
He slammed the tome shut with a bang and a cloud of dust. “Pack your bags Yu. We are going to Cronos Manor. It’s going to be murder.”
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Last edited by Chinaren on Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:45 am; edited 1 time in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:09 am Post subject: |
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Looks good chinaren.
Not enough stories to fill your time, then? 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:17 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Not enough stories to fill your time, then? |
ROFL!!
I am on a roll today! 
I had this idea last night and spent most of the day working it out. It's gonna be a murder mystery. Better get your magnifying glass out!
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:32 am Post subject: |
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Ooh nice Chinny 
Murder mystery with magic - consider me hooked, although you'll have to work hard as I don't tend to do well with mysteries.
Quick little typo:
| Quote: | | Cronos Manor, owned, not surprisingly, but the Cronos family |
I'm looking forward to Chapter 1
Happy Writing
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Lordy
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:02 am Post subject: |
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*sighs heavily*
as if you didn't have neough stories already on your plate.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:44 am Post subject: |
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Chapter 1. Cronos Manor.
Cronos Manor was old. Very old. It had been in the Cronos family for generations, and as time had gone by their wealth had simply grown. Still, they had maintained a relatively low profile in recent times, and their name was not well known to the common masses. This information your employer, the esteemed Etrax Rigel, had informed you as you had waited outside the transportation depot. He had been as excited as you had ever seen him. This could be a big case.
Etrax had paid the fare and the both of you had stepped into the ring. An incantation by the duty wizards and now you find yourself outside the gates of the hall.
It is bigger than you expected, you admit to yourself as you walk up to the large iron portals. An elderly man, dressed in a smart suit stands behind them.
“Mr Rigel and assistant” says your employer, and the man nods. The gates creak open slowly, stopping when there is just enough room for you to pass through. You do so and enter the large and opulent grounds. Gravel scrunches underfoot as you follow the two down the long path towards the main building.
The gates clang shut behind, and you have an ominous feeling. Your intuition tells you that before you leave this place, heinous deeds will have been done, and dark secrets revealed. You shiver.
The main door is large, made of oak with an enormous brass doorknocker shaped like a face. It winks at you as you approach and you sigh. Even in these large mansions you can’t get away from stupid novelty items.
The elderly man ignores the face and pushes the door open. Inside is a large hall, lit by lamps at regular intervals. A huge, decorative chandelier hangs high up above you, and a large curved staircase runs up to the next floor.
“Nice little place” says Etrax, dropping his bag and flexing his shoulder.
“Your rooms are this way, if you would sir.” The butler gestures and walks on, towards the staircase.
Etrax picks up the bag and follows, as do you, climbing the stairs slowly, eyes looking around all the time.
The walls are lined with portraits, classic style, with many a happy family scene no doubt. Here is one from the Persian wars, a knight hacking apart heathens with a large sword. Another shows a similar man, this time putting paid to a red dragon.
“All family portraits” says the butler, noticing you gaze at one particularly impressive figure, dressed in purple robes. “That one is Great Great Grandfather Cronos, he was a mage of the 8th Dimension. It is said he conjured up the Lord of the Seventh Hell one night, and ordered him to bring him the head of the person who was plotting to kill him. The demon brought him the head of his son.” The butler shakes his head and tuts. “It made a terrible mess on the carpet I was told. This way now.”
You wander off down a corridor to the right, and up another set of stairs.
“Are we the only guests?” asks Etrax.
“There are others of course” the butler replies, opening a door to a chamber. “This shall be your room,” gesturing at you. “Dinner will be served at 6.45 promptly. Formal dress is expected, and suitable attire has been provided in the room.”
He turns to Etrax. “Your room is across the hall sir, just here” and he opens a door directly opposite yours.
“Just one other thing.” Etrax says. “Who exactly are we guests of?”
“That will be the master sir, Count Cronos.”
“When will we see the Count?” you ask.
“Oh, I don’t really know sir. He is dead you see. Have a pleasant rest, remember, dinner is at 6.45 in the main hall.” He turns and walks away, and you and Etrax exchange glances.
“See you at 6.45 then” he says, and enters his room. You do likewise.
The room is huge, with a giant four poster bed to sleep in. A bathing chamber is off to one side, with an enormous bathtub. Another room turns out to be a closet, filled with a variety of amazing garments.
You decide to have a bath and prepare your things.
It is 6.30 when Etrax knocks on the door. “Are you ready?” he asks.
You nod, just having finished putting on what you hope is a suitable outfit. You both head down the corridor, just as a handsome young man is exiting from his room several door along. He is tall and of slim build with shoulder length hair. He wears a dark cloak which you admit suits him well.
“Hello” he says to you. “Are you guests here too?”
“That we are. My name is Etrax Rigel, and this is my assistant, Yu.”
“Well, nice to meet you both. My name is Joshua, just call me Josh.”
“What do you do Josh?” asks your employer, straight on the job.
“Oh, I am a student at Harkright academy of magical sciences. I am studying Artifact Creation.”
“Impressive” says Etrax, and the three of you walk down the hallway again.
“Do you know what all this is about?” asks Josh as you walk down towards dinner.
“You don’t know?” you ask.
“I wouldn’t ask if I did now, would I? My sister, my fiancé and my sister’s boyfriend all received invitations.”
“Do you know Count Cronos then?” Etrax asks, as you go down the stairs, towards the sound of voices.
“er, never met him” says Josh.
Your conversation is cut short as you enter the dining hall. It is filled with people already, most standing around in small groups talking.
Nearby is a girl, as tall as Josh and extremely pretty. She is talking to a sandy haired lad of about the same age. When she sees Josh she smiles and walks over to him. You can’t help notice the frown on the face of the other boy, wiped off when he notices you watching.
“Josh! You made it!” the girl says and takes his hands in hers.
Josh turns to you. “Gentlemen, this is my delightful sister, Samantha. We are twins. Sam, this is Etrax Rigel and, er? Yu?”
You nod.
“So nice to meet you sirs” says the girl.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me then?” says the sandy haired boy, walking up behind Sam and putting an arm around her protectively.
“Of course my dear!” she says. “Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Simon Grately.
“From Grately supplies?” says Etrax.
“He is my father sir” the boy replies, giving a slight bow.
“Where is your fiancé Joshua?” Simon asks, rather pointedly you think.
Josh looks around. “I had hoped she would be here. They put us in separate rooms.” He frowns for a second.
Etrax and you look around. You see a girl in a green dress, possible a few years older than Josh and Sam, talking to a slim older man in a dark jacket. “Is that her?” you ask.
“What? Oh no, wait! There she is!” He points to a pretty girl, dressed in white, with her blond hair bundled up in intricate patterns. She is talking to a young man in a rather colorful blue suit.
“Oh! Look! There is Harrow!” says Sam.
“So he is! What is he doing here? Excuse me gentlemen,” Josh hurries over to the two.
You are suddenly bumped into by someone, and you turn around to see an old lady, dressed in black and leaning heavily on a cane.
“Be careful you!” she says, caustically, pushing past.
“My apologies Ms. Er..?”
“Name’s Veerch, now get out of my way or I will turn you into a toad!” She pushes past you. “Rupert! Get me a drink! Red wine, sweet! You know how I like it!”
A large bald man in a totally unsuitable tweed jacket follows her. “At once milady” he says, in a low baritone voice. He winks at you as he walks past.
You turn back to your little party, but just as you do a gong rings. “Please be seated for dinner!” says the old butler, appearing from nowhere.
You look at Etrax who motions you to one side. “Let’s find out more about our guests. Split up. Go and sit with someone. I will sit elsewhere.”
You look around. The game has begun. You have already met Josh and his sister, as well as Sam’s boyfriend, perhaps you should continue talking to one of them? Over by the fire is Josh, now linking arms with his fiancé Bridgette, both speaking to the other lad in the garish blue suit, what was his name? Oh yes, Harrow. On the other hand there is the girl in the green dress with the older man, or the fearsome witch, Veerch and her manservant, even now helping her into a chair at the giant table.
You notice another couple walk in, hand in hand and gazing at each other lovingly. As you wander to the table a large man, in his fifties at least, with a huge moustache and a fierce gleam in his eye strolls in. You overhear Bridgette exclaim “Daddy's here too!”
There seems to be more chairs left unfilled, but for now these are the only other guests present. You look around and make a choice…
>>>>>>
The party has started. You are Yu! If you hadn’t guessed already.
Pay attention now, there will be clues scattered about, along with many other facts that may or may not be relevant to the case. “What case?” you ask.
Ah, well, be patient and wait!
In the meantime, you have your instructions. Who shall you sit next to? And is there anything you wish to say?
Hit that REPLY button and let me know…
NB. I have never done anything like this before, so I hope it works out okay!
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:58 am; edited 2 times in total
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Lordy
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:51 am Post subject: |
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| I'd say to try one of the other guests you haven't spoken to yet, maybe they know why they're here?
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:00 am Post subject: |
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| Nice start China. I'd say lets try sitting by the witch and seeing if she'll tell us anything useful. If not lets try whoever stits on the other side of us.
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:07 am Post subject: |
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I want to talk to Simon Grately. There's a definite vibe going on between him and Josh, and I want to know why.
Let the boss handle the father - he's bound to be at the centre of the web somehow, but the kids are where the tension is. We have to try to identify the victim, see if we can spot the murder before it happens.
Nice chapter Chinny. Enjoyable murder-mystery, although the many characters will probably have my head spinning in no time
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:26 am Post subject: |
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| As Lordy said before, sit with someone who you haven't talk already.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:32 am Post subject: |
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Why do I have a feeling that this is like Christie's Ten Little Indians?
Oh, and F5 Lordy, and jnmrcs. It's best we meet all our suspects.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| Ravenwing wrote: | | Why do I have a feeling that this is like Christie's Ten Little Indians? |
I have never read a Murder mystery in my life, the closest I have come is a TV episode of Ms Marple. Hence this really is new territory for me.
Thanks for the comments so far all. This one needs to be very interactive. I already know* the plot, so it is down to you guys to solve it!
*Subject to change as time goes on of course.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:49 am Post subject: |
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Ten Little Indians is a Ms. Marple mystery I believe. I love Agatha Christie's Ms. Marple, her wit has always amused me.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:47 am Post subject: |
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| Ravenwing wrote: | | Ten Little Indians is a Ms. Marple mystery I believe. I love Agatha Christie's Ms. Marple, her wit has always amused me. |
I'm pretty sure Ten Little Indians didn't actually have Ms. Marple in it.
I do greatly enjoy Ms. Marple mystries though
You might find Mrs. Pollifax interesting too (if you haven't already read them).
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:51 am Post subject: |
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Straight into Chapter 1 - excellent
I agree that we should leave "Daddy" to the boss, but otherwise we should be looking to meet new people.
Head toward the girl in the green dress.
Happy Writing 
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Mother Goose
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 9:40 am Post subject: |
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| Yes, somebody new, either the girl in green or Harrow. Since he knows Josh and Sam, maybe Harrow could give us some feel about the "tensions".
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K-Roq
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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Nice prologue and first chapter- immediately drew me in :biggrin:
I agree with Shady, I wanna know what's up with Simon
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:08 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
I'm pretty sure Ten Little Indians didn't actually have Ms. Marple in it.
You might find Mrs. Pollifax interesting too (if you haven't already read them). |
You're right, she isn't in it. I tend to mix-up Christie's novels.
I will certainly look into the books.
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Araex
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Heh... Cronos - time, services will be required - future, the Cronos' can see into the future... great stuff so far! I agree with the general consensus - what's bugging boyfriend Simon?
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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"Oh daddy! What an absolutely spiffing suit you have on! It really makes you seem big and manly!"
"Why of course my dear; all the better to get under your..." We must stop this now!  Yu can go talk to 'Daddy' and our employer can go talk to the lovely (er) Ms. Bridgitte.
*holds breath*
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:48 am Post subject: |
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Talk to the witch...the old battleaxe must have something good to share with you...
Barring that, go talk to the two you havn't yet met...
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:52 am Post subject: |
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Okay then. Stuck a poll up with the suggested options.
Happy sleuthing!
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 10:06 am Post subject: |
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| Very inetresting votes...
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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Voted.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:45 am Post subject: Chapter 2. Dinner and Death. |
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Chapter 2. Dinner and Death.
You think you should go and speak to someone you have not met yet, and so you eye the young couple who have just entered. You have just decided to sit next to them when another two figures enter the room.
One is a young man, perhaps a year or two older than Josh and Sam. He is dressed in somber black garments, more suitable for a funeral than a party you think. His black hair is plastered down around his head, as though he has just come in from the rain. He scans the room and his gaze rests a moment on Alice before passing on. He looks your way and sees you looking, whereupon he quickly sits down at a nearby seat, next to the witch, who ignores him.
The other figure is an older man, perhaps in his fifties. He is nevertheless dressed in a fashionable suit and looks quite the playboy. He affects a monocle over his left eye which gives his face a slightly lopsided squint. The man looks around the room, noting the people present. He waves at both Josh and Sam briefly. They wave back casually, though they are both engaged in conversation with others, so do no more.
Finding himself alone the man looks around and sees you. He smiles and walks over.
“Good day sir. I don’t believe I have made your acquaintance. I find myself without a ladyfriend, and barring the pleasure of the female sex I wonder if I may sit by yourself for company? I enjoy meeting new people.”
You decide this man may be a good source of information and pull up a seat next to him. On your other side the young couple sit down, though they seem to be involved in each other, and ignore you.
“Mmm, an interesting crowd here” says the man, who holds out a hand. “Name’s Avanor, I am the ah, father of those two handsome youths over there,” and he gestures to Josh and Sam.
You introduce yourself. “My name is Yu, I am in the employ of Etrax Rigel, whom you can see seated next to that young lady in the Green dress.”
“Ah, yes, Alice. And is that her father next to her? Remarkable, he keeps very much to himself these days I hear. I haven’t seen either for some time, though I believe she used to attend the same school as my two.”
You look around again and notice the large seat at the head of the table is empty. Even as you wonder about that the butler appears, and stands next to the seat.
“Lord and Ladies” he says. “It does my old eyes good to see the Manor hall once again filled with life. It has stood lonely and dreary too long, steeped in the sorrow that has befallen the Cronos household these past years. If you note, the chair of the Count is empty.” He gestures to the seat next to him, and then above and behind, at a painting of a fearsome looking man in Deep Blue robes.
“The portrait you are looking at is the Late Count Cronos. He was a master wizard, the latest in a long line of such. Alas, old age claims us all, and the Count was laid to rest barely three months past. However, his spirit is a strong one, and he talks to us yet from beyond the grave. He was the one who gathered you all together here.”
The butler looks around at the rapt audience. “I have no answers as to why you have been invited, but I have faith in my master’s Sight. I am sure that his great mind has a purpose, though I am not privy to his plan.”
The butler snaps his fingers. “Here and now though, I am happy to announce that dinner is served.” He bows and withdraws as servants pass through the hall bearing platters of food.
“Well, what about that eh?” Avanor says, as a maid puts some soup infront of you. “I heard the old Count had died recently.”
“Does he not have an heir?” you ask, sampling the soup. It is excellent.
“Ah, he did, he did. And therein lies the latest in the tale of woe for this household.” He sips at his soup and smacks his lips in appreciation.
“Please, I am unacquainted with the story, if you would mind?”
“Of course, though in truth there is nothing that enthralling to relate. The Count’s wife died some, let me see, 19 years ago? About that. I lose track. Some say suicide brought on by depression. There was all sorts of talk at the time, many said the Count was to blame.”
“How so?” you say, finishing off your soup, and watching the servants bring in the main course.
“He was a womanizer, so they say anyway. Scandal and gossip followed him about, though no one ever caught him out. Why thank you my dear!” He says to a young maid who lays out a plate infront of him. He looks at her wistfully as she moves away and then turns back to you. “Of course, some of us share that vice, just the old dog was better at it than most, eh?” He winks at you.
You look around the room as you receive your dinner. An excellent spread, with roast swan, potatoes served in a variety of fashions, vegetables and a medley of sauces and side dishes. You feel full just looking at it.
“So, what about the heir then?” You say after some minutes digging into your meal.
“Well, Lord Cronos was left with one son when his wife passed on. All was going well until recently. The boy, a Rudolphus by name, was in his final year at Harkright, studying potions I believe, when there was a terrible accident in the casting chamber, and he was killed.” He shakes his head as he shovels a roast potato into his mouth.
You are about to respond when a sudden cold wind blows through the dining hall. The lights dim, the windows that were open slam shut, and a whispering sound can be heard.
“What’s going on?” you hear Bridgette ask, huddling close to Josh, who puts an arm around her as he looks about.
“Ha! I sense a spirit!” old Veerch says, waving a fork about. “There!” She points to the head of the table, towards the empty chair.
You, and all the other guests look at the chair. Indeed, a misty figure can be seen. As you watch it becomes more solid, and you can soon see it bears an uncanny resemblance to the portrait on the wall behind it.
“Count Cronos!” gasps the girl in green, Alice as Avanor has named her.
The figure moves and an ethereal voice echoes around the chamber. “Indeed, it is I! Count Cronos, or at least the ghost of he.”
The girl next to you lets out a small scream, and grabs her man friend’s arm.
“You have nothing to fear from me” says the ghost, drifting up above the table.
“Why have you come spirit?” asks the witch.
“I arranged this gathering” it replies.
You hear Etrax mutter under his breath. “Aha. Now we cut to the chase.”
“I am trapped,” continues the ghost, “in limbo, unable to proceed further.”
“Why? What is it you want?” Etrax asks.
“A pertinent question my good man” says the ghost. “I have a problem as yet unresolved. Until the situation is rectified I am stuck in this gray place, barred from ascending to my heavenly reward.”
Etrax lifted a finger and started to ask the obvious question, but the Late Count interrupted him.
“Before you ask, I cannot tell you. I am constrained by limitations I am not allowed to explain. Needless to say, in my mortal body I foresaw something of this situation. My divinations indicated that you,” he indicated the seated guests, “brought to this place and time, would resolve the situation.”
The ghost drifts over the table, then turns towards the portrait that bears his likeness. He is starting to fade you notice.
“Until I am able to ascend, none of you will be able to leave the grounds. A pre-prepared set of spells has been cast. You are now sealed in with a 15th level Onogramatic Seal. It has the unfortunate side-effect of limiting spell-casting abilities, so I am afraid you will have to rely on your wits more than your magic…”
The figure has nearly completely disappeared now, and his voice becomes faint.
“I wish to leave this dreary place…” his voice fades away.
As he disappears the lights once more illuminate. At once Bridgette’s father stands up and strides purposely towards the window. “Blast the man!” he says, “ he was a menace in life, now he is a menace in death!” He flings the window open and peers out. Several other guests join him, yourself included.
Outside, around the garden, you can just make out a hazy blue glow surrounding the grounds and stretching overhead, disappearing into the night.
“Curses!” says the Major. “It’s a shield alright! We won’t be able to pass that easily.” He looked around. “I don’t suppose any of you are master wizards?”
You shake your head. Whilst you have some magical ability, major spells are out of your league, as they are most people. Only the more powerful wizards can cast the more serious magics.
Everyone drifts back to the table, and discussion remains muted as people ponder what they have just seen.
“So, the story is beginning to unfold” says Avanor, once everyone is seated and have resumed their dinner, muttering amongst themselves.
“That was really the Count?” you say.
“I see no reason for the shade to lie.” Avanor ruminates as he looks about the table. “Mmm, interesting.”
“What is it you ask?”
“Oh, what? No nothing, just an old mans’ fancy I think. Ah! Look, her is desert.”
You frown, but note the comment as you look up.
“Oh! It’s treacle sponge and ice-cream” says the young lady next to you. She notices you and smiles. “Hello, sorry for ignoring you. It’s just that Heath and I are recently married. My name is Raith.”
“A pleasure to meet you” you say. Indeed, she is very pretty. You turn your attention back to the desert, which has just been delivered by a slightly older servant. A stern looking woman with gray hair. She serves Avanor, who whispers something to her. You can’t hear her response, but Avanor looks a wistful as she walks away.
“I take it there is no lady wife?” You ask, as tactfully as you dare.
“Ah, no. An unfortunate misunderstanding left us parted some years ago” he answers.
You nod, but don’t press him further on this, and the talk turns away to the recent events in the colonies for the rest of the meal, and you can think of no way of getting it back on track.
Eventually the talk winds down. “Well,” you say stretching. “I think it is time to retire for the night.” You push your chair back and bid the Avanor goodnight. Heath and Raith have already departed for their room. Etrax stands up and walks over to you before you leave.
“I will stay up a little more, and maybe wander around later” he says.
You nod. “Maybe I will also take a stroll, though I am not sure certain I wish to with ghosts wandering around the place.” You eye the portrait of the Count, which seems to watch you.
Etrax nods and wishes you goodnight before heading back to the table. You start up the stairs and into your room where you change out of your dinner robes and into a purple evening gown.
You rest on the huge bed for a short while, laying there thinking about what you have seen today. Sleep doesn’t come though, and after a while you glance at the clock. It is near midnight.
Making a sudden decision you stand up and walk to the door. Slowly you open it and peer out into the dimly lit corridor beyond. On a whim you slip out, closing the door behind you.
The corridor is a typical stately home one, wide and well carpeted. Paintings line the walls, and various objects d’art are located in strategic niches. Here a vase taken from the Mongol Empire, here a suit of armor from the holy crusades.
A movement catches your eye from further down the hallway. You slip behind the suit of armor, into the deep shadow, peering out carefully. A figure, it seems to be female, though you can only make out a vague silhouette in the dark, slips towards a door. After a moment you decided it is Josh’s room.
The figure taps gently on the door twice and then opens it carefully, slipping into the room quickly.
‘Ho ho’ you think. It seems that Bridgette is after a little night entertainment then! You move forward silently and pause outside the door for a moment. A girlish giggle can dimly be heard, and you smile to yourself. ‘Ah, youth.”
Not wishing to eavesdrop further you move further along, until you are once again near the stairs to the dining room. Moving around the upper balcony you can just make out several figures still at the dinner table. Etrax is one, drinking ale at that steady pace you know he can maintain all day if needed, seeming to drink a lot, but really imbibing only enough to look that way. He is currently listening to Simon Grately, though you can’t hear what is being said.
Another figure moves through the room, but you can’t see who it is clearly, it looks like the Major. Your eyes are drawn back to the portrait of the Count, and you shudder suddenly. ‘Enough lurking for one night’ you think, and slip quietly back up the hallway.
As you pass the armor you hear low voices coming the other way. For reasons you are not sure about, you duck into a dark niche in the wall, behind a statue of a sphinx.
“…don’t like it!” you can hear one voice muttering softly. You are fairly sure it is a male voice, but you can’t be sure, or make out who it is.
“You don’t have to! You don’t want your little secret to slip out now do you? Make sure you…” Another voice, barely more than a whisper as two shadowy figures pass your hiding place. You draw back so they don’t see you, but this has the unfortunate side effect of reducing your view of the mysterious couple and they pass quickly into the gloom.
You peer out after them, but they have disappeared into the dark. You are about to follow them, but think better of it. The hall suddenly seems very dark and cold, and the face of the dead Count is still fresh in your mind. You return to your room, lock the door and retire to bed.
>>
Morning, and you are about to head out of your room for breakfast when the shouting starts. Quickly tying your shoelace you head out of the door to see what the fuss is.
Further up the hall Josh and Simon are screaming and trying to attack each other. Heath and the boy you saw dressed in black at dinner are holding them back with some difficulty. You rush over to help, just as Etrax and the Witch also arrive on the scene.
“What is going on here?” says your employer, as you grab Josh and he steps between the two.
Josh stutters and points at Simon, seemingly unable to speak. Both are white as sheets.
Simon doesn’t say anything either, but merely points back into his room. You peer in, as do the others.
There, lying on the double bed is Samantha. The bed covers are thrown back to reveal the still figure, dressed in a night gown. Her eyes stare at the ceiling.
She is plainly dead.
“He killed my sister” screams Josh, tears running down his face! “Let me at him! I will kill him!”
Simon staggers back. “I didn’t do it! I came back late drunk, and slept on the couch! I found her like that in the morning! I didn’t do it!!”
You look at both of them and then turn to Etrax.
“What now?” you say.
>>>>>>
*screams*
It’s murder most foul! (That’s a surprise eh?)
Young Sam, Josh’s brother and Simon’s sweetheart lies slain in some fashion on their chamber bed!
What to do next?
<<<<<<
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:46 am Post subject: |
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NB. Sorry about the fast turnover of this chapter, but I am going away for a few days, perhaps from tomorrow, so wanted to get this ep up.
I will also do a run down of the characters, so you can see who is who a little easier.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:57 am Post subject: |
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Well, that was unexpected... *cough cough*
Good chapter China, and I think I can see where you are heading with this.
I think you should pull Josh aside and get his exact testimony of events, then do the same with Simon. Then have the obligatory meeting in the dining hall to ascertain where everyone was 'at the time of the murder' (though it will all obviously be a pack of filthy lies, but lies can often help discern motive and, eventually, the truth).
This should turn out to be quite a fun romp Mr. China. Are you planning on doing it quickly, like Doggie and Arms?
*holds breath*
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:03 am Post subject: |
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I can see this getting horribly complicated
OK, do we have magic that could ascertain the time of death? Or forensics, for that matter. We need to search the room for clues before we take statements. Evidence is transitory, the people are here until all of this is resolved.
In the meantime, though, one of the team (Etrax or Yu), should keep the people together and stop them from talking with each other. Given time, they could back each others' stories up with well-rehearsed lies. Until we're ready to question them, that should be avoided.
Good stuff China
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:08 am Post subject: |
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No! No! If this is to be a proper murder mystery, then it must be plauged by incompetence, lying, and preferably, furthur murders! Then we have a stroke of genius, find some all-important clue, and hey-presto! Solved!
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:49 am Post subject: |
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| Hmm keep them appart and search for evidance.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:59 am Post subject: |
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You can start searching for evidence but later you will need to do as Solomon said.
But I'm with Solomon on the more murder. So maybe it's better wait to see more death and if possible wait until just you and your employer are alive  then all is solved
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:06 am Post subject: |
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Fear not guys. I have only just begun!!
Lots of juice left in this one yet. Mwahahahaha!
I just realised there may not be a lot of suggestions for a poll here. However, if you have any pertinent questions to ask anyone, please suggest.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:22 am Post subject: |
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You definitely have the style for writing a mystery, China. Now this is reminding me the old black and white movie House on Haunted Hill. Quite liked that movie, actually.
Anyways, I think we need to know more about the heir, and what happened after his death. That tale was a bit cut off when the Count appeared. And also we need to know more about Sam's murder. Question Josh and Simon seperately, and it is more likely we're Yu is going to get a more reasonable explanation.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:21 am Post subject: |
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| You can also check what Etrax Rigel have. Or wait until he make some investigations too and then compare information.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Yu should team up with her employer, and perhaps others she feels the best about to uncover evidence. Not openly of course, just question the least likely first to see what their experiences of that night were, what they know about the relation between victim and the "Host" as it were(the dead mage who invited us all). She should be trying to determine how the mage must have believed they could release him from his undeath. This seems to me to be more valuable than the murder but understanding the motive behind the murder would be a probable key. Its possible NOBODY did it, noone alive anyhow. Anyways, start with least likely, as we all know that the most likely is probably the least likely in truth. Start with the witch, someone who probably had nothing to do with it.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:39 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter Chinny
Quick note to Rav - I'm fairly sure Yu is male :
| Quote: | | “Your room sir,” gesturing at you |
I like Stoat's thoughts of gathering what clues we can - the people aren't going anywhere, but clues could easily 'vanish'.
I'd like to see some experimentation from us and our master to see what powers we still have so we can consider possibilities.
| Quote: | You shake your head. Whilst you have some magical ability, major spells are out of your league, as they are most people. Only the more powerful wizards can cast the more serious magics.
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What about our master - how powerful is he? He didn't seem to answer the Major's questions, so I guess not a Master Wizard, but maybe he was just keeping that information to himself?
I think Rav makes a good point about trying to discover what causes a ghost to be held back - by the shocked gasps from around the table, even in this world of commonplace magic it's hardly normal to have a ghost around.
Maybe ask to see the deceased Count's old bedroom/study/private library?
Keep it coming Chinaren.
Happy Writing
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:57 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Quick note to Rav - I'm fairly sure Yu is male :
| Quote: | | “Your room sir,” gesturing at you |
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Damn, that slipped by. I was hoping to keep 'yu' gender neutral, as far as the story is concerned. Then it can be the gender of the reader. I will go and fix it now.
As for magic, well, note that the shield conveniently reduces any magical abilities present. Just so we don't get any ideas about a quick spell to solve everything!
Etrax has a few specialist spells up his sleeve, again, reduced in power due to the shield. However, such spells as finding out what time the deed (approx) should be possible, assuming counter-magics weren't cast to prevent such. Spells to check if someone is lying may be okay, but they can depend upon the person being questioned, and any defensive magics they may have. I can't make it too easy for you!
| Quote: | | Maybe ask to see the deceased Count's old bedroom/study/private library? |
Good idea. This is the sort of thing I am after here. Ideas on how to proceed!
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 2:06 am Post subject: |
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I'm thinking it's time to pull a Nancy Drew and go see if I can't find the count's personal journals, every Wizard I've ever known has them. If something's bugging him in his afterlife, the precursers might just be found in his personal musings...
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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Good idea, Crymmy. At least there could be concrete evidence.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Great story so far, C-Man. I like.
But definitely talk to Simon and Josh, but seperate. Find out what's going on here.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 1:32 am Post subject: |
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Okay then.
Speak to Josh and Simon seperately seems to be a given, as well as check the murder scene out.
Hence what I think I will do is do those anyway. Having said that, there will still be "room" in the next chapter for some other activity, so I will put a few other suggestions in, like:
Try and search the Count's room.
Rummage through else's room. (Suggest)
Make a point of speaking to some other not-yet met guest.
Any others?
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:04 am Post subject: |
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| I don't know, it seems you want to do a combanation of all of them really. Makes it hard to put up a poll.
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:51 am Post subject: |
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It'd be useful to find out what our Master knows about ghosts as well - I'm assuming he'll have more knowledge than us, and it might give us a clue as to what we're looking for in the Count's rooms.
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:26 am Post subject: |
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Voted! :biggrin:
*holds breath*
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Voted.
Went for the talk to other guests not introduced yet. Opens new ground, and may give clues to Sam's murder.
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 7:52 am Post subject: Chapter 3. Questions. |
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Chapter 3. Questions.
Etrax addresses Heath and the young man in black. “You two, take Simon and Josh to separate rooms, keep them there until I have chance to speak to them. Go now.”
The two nod, and move off in separate directions with their charges, both whom are sobbing. Etrax turns to you and the witch. “Let us examine the poor girl” he says, and you follow him into the room.
“Mmm,” says your master. “Look here. The covers pulled back rather wildly. Seems to be no evidence that of a struggle.”
“She isn’t laying in a sleeping position though” you point out.
“If what young Simon says is true” Etrax muses, “and he found her seemingly asleep at first, to find her condition later, he would naturally have pulled back the covers and cradled her in his hands. What say you Madam Witch?”
The witch is look about the room. “There is a smell of magic around here” she says.
“What is the cause of death?” you ask.
The witch pushes forward before Etrax can respond, holding her hand above the body and muttering Magic cantrips under her breath. “Mmm” she says eventually. “The shield outside limits my power, but I am confident she was killed with some sort of magical ray.”
Etrax rubs his chin. “Death spells needs a lot of power, with the shield draining magic, who would have enough strength for such?”
The witch moves back. “Not me for sure, none of the others either, from what I felt last night.”
“What time did she die?” you ask.
Now it is Etrax’s turn to move over the body. Casting a spell you have seen him use before he concentrates hard, sweat dripping from his brow before he finally concludes. “Phew, I have never had to try that hard to cast a simple divination.” He looked at the witch, “I think you understate you ability Madam Witch.”
Veerch makes a dismissive gesture.
“She died sometime between 1am and 3am,” says Etrax. “I can narrow it down to no further than that.”
“Who was in the hall with you last night?” you say.
“Simon was with us until about 2 in the morning,” he replies, “though he was very drunk and Avanor had to help him to his room, this one. Bridgette left earlier in the night, about half past midnight, maybe a little later. The only other was the Major.”
You glance at the witch, but decide to ask anyway. “Any useful information?”
Etrax sighs. “It was most frustrating. Simon seems to have a dislike of Josh, though I get the feeling that it is because Josh disapproves of his relationship with Sam. However, he didn’t say much whilst Avanor, Josh and Sam’s father present.” He stops suddenly. “Avanor! Someone will have to tell him.”
Veerch speaks. “I will do that.” She moves off immediately, and you are glad you don’t have to perform that particular errand.
“So, motive” you say. “Why would someone kill Sam? Could Simon have done it in a drunken stupor and not remember?”
“Let’s go and find out shall we?”
You both move to the doorway, to find the butler approaching. Etrax explains the situation, and the man promises to stand outside the room and let no one in.
“I don’t suppose we can contact the outside world by any chance?” asks Etrax finally.
The man shakes his head. “Not with the shield up sir. We are completely on our own.”
Etrax motions to you. “Go and speak to Josh, I will see what Simon has to say.”
You nod and head off towards your room, where the butler says Josh is.
You find him sitting on the bed, eyes red and swollen. Harrow, who was in the blue suit last night, is sitting on the bed next to him, his arm around Josh’s shoulders. The young man in black, who’s name you still don’t know is standing up, seemingly deep in thought.
He looks at you as you enter. “And who might you be?” he asks.
“I am here with Etrax Rigel, Investigator. May I ask your name?”
“I am Malcolm, I was a schoolfriend of Rudolphus and a friend of the family.”
“Indeed,” you say. “I would perhaps like a word a little later then, if I may.”
He nods and then looks around. “I will leave you to it,” and leaves the room.
You approach Josh and Harrow, who looks up and then stands infront of Josh protectively. “What do you want? Can’t you see he has had a terrible shock? Can’t you leave him alone for a few minutes?”
“I am afraid I have to ask him a few questions. It won’t take long.”
Harrow looks at you closely, but steps back eventually in a whiff of strong perfume.
“Josh?” You squat down in front of the figure. “I am sorry about your sister. I didn’t really meet her for long, but she seemed a nice girl.”
Josh nods, but doesn’t say anything.
“Who would want to kill her? Have you any idea?”
“It was that brute Simon!” Harrow interjects. “What can you expect from the son of a merchant?”
“Please, Harrow. Let Josh speak” you say.
Harrow pouts, but remains quiet and you speak to Josh again.
“Josh? Would Simon kill Sam?”
Josh remains still for a second, and then shakes his head. “I don’t think so,” he replies in a croaky voice. “Simon may not have been good enough for Sam, but he wouldn’t kill her. At least… no. No.”
“At least what? Is there something?”
“No. Well, maybe. Sam was not so sure about the marriage, she had some doubts, but I think they were just normal doubts. She seemed happy enough with him, though I never understood what she saw in him myself.”
“They were always arguing. Don’t forget that” said Harrow again, able to contain himself no longer.
“Is this true?” you ask them, “about what?”
“Just normal stuff, she said Simon was always busy with the business, but she understood that. I don’t think there was anything that bad.”
“Where were you last night?”
“In my room all night,” he says.
“Alone?”
Josh nods. “Yes, the Major is very particular about us not sharing rooms until we are married.”
“And you wouldn’t… you know?” You prompt.
“No he wouldn’t” says Harrow, sitting by Josh again and putting a hand on his arm protectively. “Why are you asking him? Josh wouldn’t kill his own sister! Leave him alone!”
You sigh. “One more thing then. What were you doing near the room this morning? What happened?”
“It was a coincidence. I was near the room when I heard Simon shouting. I knocked on the door and then opened it when he didn’t answer. I saw him on the bed with Sam’s body…in his…arms. Sam’s…” he breaks down again, weeping.
“See what you have done now?” says Harrow wrapping his arm around Josh again. “Why don’t you just leave him alone. Go on!”
“This is my room,” you say. “Take him back to his.”
Harrow walks Josh out of your room holding his weeping friend up just as Etrax walks in.
“Find out anything?”
“Josh says he was alone last night, but I saw Bridgette slip into his room. I suppose he is scared of the Major, he says they must remain apart until they are married.”
“Mm, well, he is a fierce character that is for sure,” says Etrax. “I think I am inclined to believe Simon. He says he slept on the couch last night and woke to find Sam lying in bed. He went to join her, but when she didn’t move he discovered she was dead. Josh came in and practically attacked him.”
“What now?” you say.
“I am curious about the Count actually. Everyone here is here because of his invitation. I would like to find out more about his story.”
“We could try looking in his study” you suggest.
“Hm. Well, master wizards are not usually so free with their belongings, I wouldn’t want to activate some booby trap and be sent straight to the lower slopes of some level of Hell.” He looks at you. “That is why I have an assistant. His office is up the hall, first right. Large doors. You can’t miss them. Off you go.”
You wonder why you don’t shut your big mouth, but nod anyway and walk out. Up the hallway, you take the first right and don’t have to go far before you encounter a large set of double doors.
Taking a deep breath you push them open, half expecting to be fried by magic. Nothing happens, so you step cautiously into the room.
It is a large study, furnished with expensive carpets, paintings and fine furnishings. There is another door in the opposite wall. To one side is a large desk. You walk around and look it over.
A few magic books are open, their contents way beyond your level of understanding. There are some drawers, and you open those, but find nothing that seems to be of interest.
About to give up, you notice a small leather bound book tucked away in the corner. Picking it up you flick through it. It seems to be a diary of some sort, written in crabbed handwriting and blue ink which is hard to read. The last entry stands out, and is dated a little over three months ago.
As my death looms I grow moribund, yet I have somehow managed to put forth the effort and arrange matters so my time in Limbo should not last for too long. With my affairs in order, I find myself at a loose end. The intrigues are done. My time is past. Now I sit around and drink whisky all day, awaiting the end with a fatalistic mood.
I still feel that some other force is working against me, but my castings have revealed nothing but shadows. Who could it be? A current enemy? I can think of none who would expend the magic to arrange such, I am effectively part of the past now as far as my colleagues are concerned. Unless it is someone who is no longer living of course. Is it Rudolphus? Does he blame me for his death in some way? I cannot believe he would. I regret, now, not investigating the circumstances more as young Malcolm insisted, but the Peelers insisted it was an accident. So if it not my son’s spirit, then who could it be? Unless? But no, she died many years ago. Would I have a second chance I would have done things differently. Giving them away seemed the right move at the time, but who knew she would take it so badly?
I will find out myself soon, assuming the Almighty judges me favorably of course. I have done my fair share and more of dark deeds, yet I have made my peace and on the whole I believe I have made a positive balance to the world. What more can a man ask?
You pocket the book and look around some more, but a noise outside makes you start and you move away quickly. The door opens and the butler looks in.
“You should not be here sir,” he says reprovingly.
“Sorry,” you say and slip past him, back towards the scene of the crime.
You find Etrax outside the room, making notes. He sees you approach and beckons you forth. “Find anything?”
You hand him the diary, which he slips into his pocket. “One more thing,” your employer says. “The witch did some more checking. Seems that Sam was pregnant. About 2 months.”
You raise your eyebrow, but before you can speak shouting interrupts you. Etrax hurries off towards the noise, and you follow.
The door to Josh’s room is open to reveal Simon, Harrow and Josh in a three way shouting match.
“…don’t know what you are talking about! Josh doesn’t care less about you!” Harrow was shouting.
“You! You are Josh’s little lap dog! Always there, undermining me! You better get out of my way little man, before something nasty happens to you!”
“Like it did to Sam? Are you threatening me?” Harrow yells back.
“Step back Simon, get away from me!” Josh says, pushing at him.
“Oh yes! I was never good enough for you was I? Never good enough for your precious family, your darling sister? Well, I know about you too! You are hardly perfect!”
“I don’t know what you are talking about, as usual” Josh retorts.
“Don’t think I don’t know! You are having an affair! You are cheating on Bridgette!”
>>>>>>
Okay, I am tired, so I thought I would stop there. Rather sudden I know, but I was struggling to find a place!
Thoughts and comments about what to do next please. Like I have said before, this is a new genre for me, so any feedback on how I could improve is appreciated!
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Last edited by Chinaren on Thu May 11, 2006 5:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:40 am Post subject: |
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Deeper and deeper....
Noticed one mistake:
| Quote: | | I think you understate you ability Madam Witch |
Should be 'your'.
I'm not really very good at these things. I suppose he should break up the argument and find out if its true that Josh is having an affair, who with, why, etc. and then he can confront him about lying earlier and tell him he saw Bridgitte going into his room.
*holds breath*
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 10:25 am Post subject: |
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Very nice !
I think they should wait until all of the conversation ends. Then you will have more information to confront them.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | “Hm. Well, master wizards are not usually so free with their belongings, I wouldn’t want to activate some booby trap and be sent straight to the lower slopes of some level of Hell.” He looks at you. “That is why I have an assistant. His office is up the hall, first right. Large doors. You can’t miss them. Off you go.” |
Great paragraph.
Hmm, being a dectective he should probably listen in without being seen by anyone, and find out as much as he can. Then go in and break up the argument before it reaches critical levels.
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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He he... its amusing how the author might believe he hasn't left off at a DP only to find out that his readers do indeed see a DP at this point! Yes... break up the fight and demand to get to know what is happening. Someone needs to take charge here and organize a meeting to get all pertinent information out of everyone all at once, a hearing if you will.
Ok, here's my idea for how u can fix this story... it IS very confusing.
U need a synopsis at the beginning of the first thread.
The first part of the synopsis briefly explains the plot and the mystery to be solved.
The second part should detail the characters. Get some pics for them and post 'em with a quick bio and description of when they were introduced. They are the 'suspect list'.
Third, we should be able to see a map of the 'known' parts of the mansion, if possible, with all events so far shown on the map. This visual aid will bring us into the story and give us an idea of where our curiosities might wish to take us for investigations.
As I suggested to Rave for her mystery 'Glassbreaker', u should wrap up each chapter with a synopsis of the clues that have been given. Also a good idea would be to maintain all of the 'clues' as a whole for the last section of the Synopsis.
Sometimes if you, as a part of the Synopsis, boil everything into a quick description of events, it can clear up confusion left by the drawl of description. The descriptions are good but they can clutter the underlying message of the situation and fog the plot.
The story is good, it just needs some aids to go with it to help us sort out the myriad details of the case.(not diseases btw).
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Jack_D.Mented
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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Nice chapter, China. I like.
Ok, if that wasn't enough bombshells dropped in one sitting, I don't know what is.
Alright, if he's any sort of professional about it, I think I have to F5 the above comment by Lordy on the whole just kind of eavesdrop on the arguement for a while. Be careful when you break it up eventually, though. You definitely don't want anyone to think you're taking sides.
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm. Very intriguing, China. I agree with Rav, you may want to keep track of who's who in this story.
As for what to do. May as well wait for the conversation to end. A lot of information could be easily dropped.
| Quote: | | Josh nods. “Yes, the Major is very particular about us not sharing rooms until we are married.” |
This line threw me off as I was reading the chapter. It's Simon that was to marry Sam, right? So why would Josh be saying that line?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the comments all.
| Quote: | U need a synopsis at the beginning of the first thread.
The first part of the synopsis briefly explains the plot and the mystery to be solved. |
Will do.
| Quote: | | The second part should detail the characters. Get some pics for them and post 'em with a quick bio and description of when they were introduced. They are the 'suspect list'. |
I was looking for some pics before I put up the Character list, but I will do that later and just put up the descriptions first.
| Quote: | | Third, we should be able to see a map of the 'known' parts of the mansion, if possible, with all events so far shown on the map. This visual aid will bring us into the story and give us an idea of where our curiosities might wish to take us for investigations. |
Oh, a map. Never thought of that. I will get to work on it.
| Quote: | | As I suggested to Rave for her mystery 'Glassbreaker', u should wrap up each chapter with a synopsis of the clues that have been given. Also a good idea would be to maintain all of the 'clues' as a whole for the last section of the Synopsis. |
The clues. Mmm. I am not sure about this. There are some clues I was hoping would be a little less 'obvious', and putting them in a list would kinda negate the point a little bit.
Tell you what. I will put up clues as people point them out. How's that?
I will get to work on the synopsis now. I will put it in the first post of this story, so please check that out. Soon.
[EDIT]
Sorry, been really busy today. I will try and do this tonight, but if not it may be Monday.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 6:46 am Post subject: |
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Okay, phew. I have put a synopsis and an initial character list at the start of this thread.
Let me know if you see any anomolies, it is quite hard keeping track of everything!
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 7:07 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter Chinny - and the synopsis and character list are great.
I F5 the idea of waiting until the argument fizzles - no knowing what else might be blurted out in the heat of the moment.
I look forward to the second part.
Happy Writing
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:01 pm Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: |
Let me know if you see any anomolies, it is quite hard keeping track of everything! |
No kidding. For Glassbreaker I have to keep a notebook of all the facts I have introduced. It's no wonder mysteries are one of the harder genres to write. All the info that has to be organized.
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| Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 3:29 am Post subject: |
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It seems most comments are to wait and listen, maybe step in if it gets heated.
So, in that case, what other characters would you like to concentrate on, or what other actions to do next?
Anything specific that you feel a burning urge to follow?
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| Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 6:19 am Post subject: |
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I was thinking we need to find more information about guests. We don't know much about all of them, so maybe if they all met in one place and discussed who they are, a common theme or something could be found.
My two pennies.
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| Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Ravenwing wrote: |
| Quote: | | Josh nods. “Yes, the Major is very particular about us not sharing rooms until we are married.” |
This line threw me off as I was reading the chapter. It's Simon that was to marry Sam, right? So why would Josh be saying that line? |
He was saying that about Bridgette, his fiance.
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| Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:01 pm Post subject: Chapter 4. History. |
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Chapter 4. History.
“Cheating? Me? What a lie!” Josh goes pale and staggers backwards as if he had been struck.
“Retract that statement you cad!” shouts Harrow.
“What’s this have to do with you Harrow? Mind your own affairs boy,” Simon sneers back, looking down his nose scornfully at the other young man.
Harrow turns red and launches himself at Simon, hands going for the other boys’ neck.
“What is going on here?” Etrax barges past you and strides over to the two, dragging them apart by their collars.
“He attacked me! He is deranged!” gasps Simon, pointing at Harrow.
“He was slandering my friend, I couldn’t stand by and let that happen.” Harrow pulls free from Etrax’s grasp but doesn’t seem inclined to continue the fight, so Etrax leaves him be, turning to Simon instead.
“I think you should rest for a while young man. I have arranged another room for you. Let me show you the way.” He turns to Harrow and Josh. “The same advice goes to the both of you. A bit of dignified reflection is called for.”
The other boys nod, and Etrax ushers you and Simon out of the door, a friendly hand upon Simon’s back.
You walk up the corridor in silence for a short while, around a corner and to another, smaller, room. Etrax opens the door and Simon walks in and stands by the bed, looking uncertain and lost.
“I am sorry to question you just now,” says Etrax, “but what did you mean when you said Josh was having an affair? With whom, and how do you know?”
Simon looks at the two of you with a sour expression on his face. “I was told in confidence. I am sorry I mentioned it now. Please don’t ask me more, I am embarrassed enough to have sunk to slander and gossip.”
Etrax nods slowly and is quiet for a moment, looking the young man over. After a minute he sighs. “One more thing Simon, I don’t really wish to break this to you really, but better to hear it from me than someone else by accident. Did you know that Sam was pregnant?”
“What? Oh my god!” Simon sinks down upon the bed. “How… how long?”
“About 2 months.”
“Two months? Two months? Are you sure?” The boy has turned snow white.
“Quite sure. Is everything okay?” Yu say, which earns you a Look from Etrax. “Sorry, sorry, what am I saying?”
Your employer pulls at your arm, nodding to the door. You take the hint and leave, Etrax stays a few moments more and then follows you out of the room.
“Will he be okay?” you ask.
Etrax nods. “I will get Veerch to check in on him, maybe give him something.”
You stroll back down the hallway, towards the room where Sam was killed. As you approach the butler walks up to you. “Sir. Whilst I don’t appreciate your rummaging around in the Count’s private study, I can understand your desire to know more. I have something for you, a photo of the Count. Before he died he removed nearly all his documents to some secure place. Only this photo was left behind. I feel he would not have left it by accident.”
He passes an old photo to you. The picture shows a stern man, the Count you realize, though he is somewhat younger that the portrait in the dining room. He is with a younger woman who is holding two babies. You flip the photo over, but all that is written is a date, 1900. Some twenty years ago.
“Who is the woman?” you ask, but the butler just smiles. “I am happy to pass this over to you, but I will not be accused of idle gossip. Good day to you both. Lunch will be served at noon exactly.” He bows and walks off.
You show the photo to Etrax. “What do you think?”
“Interesting. The count only had one son yes? Who are these two then? And who is the woman?” He hands the photo back to you. “Ask around as you go. Someone may know something. In the meantime, I want you to speak to Malcolm, find out more about Rudolphus. I will go and consult with Veerch again.” He seems to shake for a moment. “A formidable woman that witch.” Etrax turns and strides off.
You look at the back of your employer for a moment and then shrug. Realizing you didn’t eat anything this morning, you check the time. Nearly ten o’clock, too late for breakfast. You sigh and wander towards the dining room anyway. Maybe there is something left over.
The large room is nearly empty, but Malcolm and the young woman identified as Alice are sitting at the table, eating boiled eggs.
“May I join you?” you say.
“Take a seat” gestures Malcolm. “This is Alice, a friend of mine.”
“Delighted I am sure” Alice says.
“A pleasure to meet you. You are here with your father are you not?”
“Yes. He is upstairs reading.” Alice returns to peeling her egg.
“Would you like one?” asks Malcolm, pushing a bowl over to you.
You nod your head in gratitude and pick one out, blowing your fingers as the egg is still hot.
“You mentioned that you don’t think Ruldophus’s death was an accident?” you ask, after a few moments picking away at the shell.
“You are not still on about that are you Malc?” asks Alice. She turns to you. “Everyone else says it was an accident, only Malcolm doesn’t agree.”
“The potions were not right” Malcolm says stubbornly. “I was there when he took them from the stores, the Hedrax mix was purple, it should have been red.”
“Hedrax can look purple if it isn’t a strong mixture,” Alice replies. “I am a potions major” she explains to you. “You will just have to accept it, Ruldolphus made a mistake. A tragic mistake. Put it behind you Malcolm.” She rolls her eyes at you as she finishes her egg. “Now, if you two boys will excuse me, I must check on my father.” She stands up and strolls off.
“I know what I saw” says Malcolm as she left the room. “Hedrax could look a little purple I know, but only a little. This was deep purple.”
“Why didn’t you say something at the time?”
“I didn’t know then. I only found out later. I would have said something if I had known of course.”
“Mmm. I don’t suppose you recognize the people in this picture do you?” You shove the photo towards Malcolm who looks it over.
“That’s Count Cronos isn’t it? I don’t know the others.” He flips it over. “Mind you, I was barely born then, I wouldn’t know them I guess.” He hands it back to you.
“Do you know anything of Simon and Sam’s relationship? Were they close? I mean, I know they were to be married, but did you know of any problems?”
“I don’t know them very well, but I do know that Simon is… was very much in love with her. He was most upset when he had to go abroad a couple months ago on business with his father. He was away for three or four weeks, and Sam didn’t go with him.”
“A couple of months ago you say? Interesting.”
“Who would kill Sam? She was a lovely girl from what I know of her. I wasn’t close but…”
“She was pretty though, it could be jealousy.” You shrug. “I am sure my master will figure it out.” You stand up. “Thank you for the egg. I will not eat more just now, lunch is not too far off.”
Malcolm nods and watches you as you take your leave. You head back upstairs, trying to find Etrax, but he is nowhere to be seen. You walk past a room with the door ajar. Glancing in you see Harrow by the fireplace. He is dropping a piece of paper into the flames. You stop and knock. Harrow jumps violently and swings around, a guilty look on his face.
“Hello? Can I help you?” he says, trying to recover his composure.
“Just wanted to make sure you were okay. After this morning I mean.”
“I will be fine, thank-you for asking. It is Josh you should be worried about.”
You nod, and feeling Harrow doesn’t want you there, you back out of the room and return to your own suite, where you lie on your bed for an hour, mulling the morning’s events over.
About eleven you decide to walk about again. You step out of your room and walk up the corridor, almost bumping into Josh coming the other way. The boy looks flustered and red in the face.
“Are you okay Josh? You should be resting.”
“I will be fine,” Josh pushes past you.
You shrug and continue up the hallway, past Harrow’s door, which is now closed. You consider trying to speak to him again, you didn’t show him the photo before, but decide against it. There will be plenty of time to question him later. You walk a little further, then downstairs and through some more dusty hallways until you come to the gardens.
You stroll around the grounds for a little while, admiring the displays. The gardener nods in appreciation when you mention how nice everything looks.
Eventually you decide to head back to the hall for lunch and you find most others already gathered there, only Josh is missing, and he walks into the hall a minute after you, face still pale. Bridgette moves across to him and gives him a hug.
Etrax sees you and beckons you to join him at the table. “Anything?” he asks as you sit down.
“Nothing conclusive.” You relate your mornings investigations.
Etrax nods and strokes his chin. “I have been speaking to Veerch. I was curious as to how such a powerful spell could have been used to kill Sam with the shield in place. The witch says that it would take a powerful magician, or…”
“or…?” you ask.
A distant scream echoes about the hall before Etrax can answer. You look up, as does everyone else.
“Upstairs!” shouts Malcolm.
You rush upstairs, along with Etrax and several others, to find a maid outside of what you recognize as Harrow’s room, screaming and pointing.
You reach the door first and look inside. There, sprawled on the floor is Harrow. Blood has soaked the front of his clothes, spread out in a red circle from the knife embedded in his chest.
>>>>>>
Ahh! Murder, again!! Harrow, Josh’s staunch ally is lying in his room, stabbed through the heart. Who could have done such a dastardly deed? What should the detective, and his trusty companion of course, concentrate on next?
Sorry for not putting up a poll for the last chapter, I didn’t feel there were enough different suggestions to warrant it. I did follow the one most said though. I will try not to do that again, but this whudunnit sort of thing is quite hard to do a good decision point. At least for me it seems.
Anyway, suggestions please!
<<<<<<
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| Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 2:24 am Post subject: |
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Whoa... Cool. First to read. Hmmm...
Ok. I think he obviously needs to ask the maid what she was doing, what she saw, the usual.
This one was not killed with magic, completely different modus operandi, so I suspect a different killer, probably Simon, as he would be incapable of most spellcasting.
Talk to Josh first. Find out what was up with Harrow. Try and find out if he'd been purposely baiting anyone other than Simon, as he seemed a troublemaker. Look around for signs of what he was burning too. And for sure, talk to Simon and make sure he's got some kind of iron clad alibi, because right now, he's right at the top of the list on this one.
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| Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 4:04 am Post subject: |
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| I have nothing else to add...
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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It could well have been magic - I mean, how much power could it require to make a dagger move? Or the weapon could have been materialised past the shield. Just because it looks mundane you shouldn't assume it is.
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| Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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| But that will be a waste of magic... don't you think that?
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| Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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It depends how magic works in this place - there may be no mana as such. Or it could well be easier to assassinate someone using magic to control the dagger than to actually stick it in them.
If they materialise a dagger, then there's no chance of fingerprints. Plus no chance of it being traced back to them - and with a pair of detectives around, that could well be on a persons mind.
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:12 am Post subject: |
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| So the detectives have there the equipment to find fingerprints? I don't think so. But in that part you are right, no finger print. The problem here is the magic shield. You have to use so much magic for that, that I thought it would be a waste of magic. But maybe I'm wrong.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:15 am Post subject: |
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The Shield acts as a 'restraint' for spells. Hence any spell cast needs more energy and concentration, thus making anything other than fairly small spells too hard for most 'normal' users.
However, I am sure Etrax could manage a fingerprint spell.
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 4:02 am Post subject: |
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| But is there some form of mana here - as in would there be any point using magic where mana could do?
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 4:14 am Post subject: |
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| Lordy wrote: | | But is there some form of mana here - as in would there be any point using magic where mana could do? |
Er, mana is used to power spells. Some people can handle larger amounts of mana than others and cast more powerful spells. Most people can only handle a small amount, but some can handle more, much more. These people are the Master Wizards.
The shield, as I said above, makes each spell require more mana than usualto cast, hence the spells are harder to cast, but still possible if you can handle the manaload.
There, not bad considering I just made that up.
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 4:53 am Post subject: |
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| Ok, thanks for clearing that up. I still think it would be foolish just to assume that magic wasn't involved in the murder, though it probably was solely mundane means.
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| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Obvious suspicion - Josh killed Harrow. Though they were friends, he overheard that Sam was pregnant, and the child was concieved when Simon was away. Had anything ever been noticed between Harrow and Sam?
It's probably all wrong though.
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| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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You really like the drecrease the numbers here don't you, C'ren? LOL.
Hmm. Araex make a good point about Sam. She's two months pregnant when she is murdered. But her husband is gone on business those few months...Suspicion certainly lies on Harrow, who seemed to may have had a crush on her. And the avenging brother would of course kill for his sister.
Check for fingerprints on the knife. And then Yu should question everyone's whereabouts before then. Harrow was probably killed between 10 and a little after 11 am. At around 10 am Yu sees him looking guilty while standing next to fireplace. So that would leave an hour window for the murderer to do his dirty deed. Josh seems to be a likely candidate with his odd behavior, I would question him first.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 12:14 am Post subject: |
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Poll is finally up then. All the suggestions/options can be done, but the one to vote for is the one I will concentrate on.
Happy voting.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 3:00 am Post subject: |
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Voted for the murder scene/weapon. If this is like real life, someone can't be convicted without evidence, and unless truth spells/potions are legal, then any questions will have to be on a hunch at first.
Of course, still question everyone in the house, but examine the crime scene first, to ensure the evidence isn't tampered with.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 6:11 am Post subject: |
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| Do a CSI style investigation and go after the most likely suspect from the info you get from it.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:14 am Post subject: |
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This one is next on my list, so I am going to attempt another chapter shortly, assuming I can untangle the plot enough in my mind.
Any further comments and votes welcome. Probably won't be up before Monday at the soonest, so you have a little time.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 8:35 pm Post subject: Chapter 5. Family Ties. |
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Chapter 5. Family Ties.
Etrax shouts for Veerch, and tells everyone else to keep back. You block the doorway while the witch passes through, striding quickly to bend over the still form lying on the floor.
You look on, holding the crowd back as the two examine Harrow, and Veerch makes some arcane passes over the body. She looks at Etrax and shakes her head, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.
Etrax stands up and walks over to the doorway. “I am sorry to say that young Harrow has been killed. Murdered.”
Several people gasp, and Bridgette bursts into tears, to be comforted by Josh. Alice whirls on him though, stabbing a finger in his direction.
“You! You were with him! I saw you!”
“I never did this! Why would I do such a thing?” Josh looks bewildered and slightly panicky. “Harrow was a... a friend.”
“There was something going on between you, don't think I don't know...” Alice was cut off by Etrax.
“Please! This is a shocking time for all of us. I would urge you to return to your rooms, or go down to the main hall. I will investigate here.”
Slowly, with your urging, they turn away, muttering to themselves. Etrax takes the distraught maid to one side and has a word with her, before returning to the murder scene.
You see the rest of the people away and then step into the room. Etrax and the witch are doing something over the body, so you decide not to interrupt them. Instead you walk carefully around, examining the scene of the crime as Etrax has trained you.
You spot a scrap of white in the fireplace, and remember you saw Harrow dropping something in when you walked past before. “Etrax! Here!” you say.
Etrax walks over and examines the paper lying in the middle of the ashes. It mostly burnt, but some words are still legible. He frowns, but then nods and gestures for you to remove the parchment. You do so and squint as you try and make out the writing. Only a few fractured sentences can still be read...
...ember I know all about your filthy... ...esitate to tell all, despite the scandal it would cause you and... ... think you enjoy our little meetings, I know I... ...about you Josh, if only I didn't have to do this, blackmail is such a... ...nly resource until you change your mind, and I will have to make do... ...see you later....
You look up. “It seems Harrow wasn't as friendly with Josh as we have been lead to believe.”
“Assuming this is Harrow's note,” says Etrax, handling the letter carefully.
Veerch stands up. “Nothing,” she says. “No trace of magic. Whoever did this plunged the knife into the body the old fashioned way. By hand.”
“Thank-you Veerch,” says Etrax. “Oh, here is your man-servant.” He gestures at the large figure of Rupert at the door.
“It is time for the Ladies' rest,” says the large man.
“Yes yes.” Veerch hobbles over to the door. “I will speak later detective, but now I do need to lay down for a while, the Barrier certainly makes even minor magic hard work.” She turns to Rupert who helps her away.
You stand over Harrows' body. “What do you see here?” asks your employer.
You look around and then down again. “Er, he has been killed with a knife?”
Etrax sighs, and then speaks slowly, as if to a child. “The room hasn't been disturbed. No signs of a struggle. Though I haven't questioned anybody in depth yet, no one reported any arguing, or shouting. The body is only recently dead, within the hour, so someone would surely have heard something if there had been.”
“You are saying Harrow knew his killer, was friendly even with them?”
“Could be.”
“And then he was taken by surprise?”
“He was a fit young man, he would surely have put up a struggle. At least shouted. No, someone took him completely unawares.”
You nod and scratch your chin. “Going by the piece of paper, Josh would seem to be a prime suspect then.”
“Perhaps so, perhaps not.” Etrax looked around. “I have some thinking to do. I want you to go and question Josh, see what all that is about. Then go and do some snooping around.”
You turn to leave but Etrax stops you.
“Anything on that photo yet?”
You shake your head and he nods for you to go.
>
You find Josh in his room alone, sitting on his bed. “May I come in?” you ask, half in the doorway anyway.
He nods, and you enter the room and sit down on a chair near him. “I am sorry about your friend. Did you know him a long time?”
“Quiet a few years, mainly at school in recent times though. He was always hanging about.”
“I see,” you say, then pause, unsure how to bring up the next part. “Josh, certain information has come to light.”
Josh looks up, a startled reaction on his face. “What information?”
“We found some… evidence that Harrow wasn’t the friend to you that you say he was.” You look closely at his reaction to this news. It seems to be a mostly apprehension, but is there a bit of relief there too?
“I… I don’t know what you mean,” Josh is clearly lying.
You sigh. “You may as well tell the truth Josh. We know Harrow was blackmailing you. What did he want?” ‘And what secret did he discover?’ You think to yourself, but you don’t say it yet, one step at a time.
Josh turns red. “I don’t wish to discuss it. Please leave now.”
You hesitate, but then decide to leave, give the boy some time to think things through. “I will go now then. However, know that this evidence will implicate you in the murder of Harrow. Others will be asking hard questions soon.”
Josh turns pale again, but says nothing. You leave.
As you close the door to the room you decide that Bridgette is the next person to speak to. She is close to Josh, and may be able to spread further light on the Harrow mystery.
Bridgette’s room is a little way along the corridor, in a suite she shares with her father, the fiercesome Major Esper. You are about to knock when you see the Major approaching.
“Bridgette is lying down,” he says as he barges past you, opening the door to the suite.
“In that case, perhaps I could have a few words?”
The Major hesitates a moment, but then grunts in acquiescence and gestures for you to enter, which you do.
You follow the Major into the parlor, where he walks over to the drinks cabinet and pours himself a stiff one. He doesn’t offer you anything.
“Do you know anything of Harrow?” you say as the Major sits down in a large chair and sips his drink.
“Seen him around. Scrawny fellow. Pale. Hung around in the background a lot. Didn’t pay him any attention really.” The Major takes another swig of his drink and smacks his lips.
“I see.” You fish out the old picture and show it to him. “Do you recognize anyone in this photograph?”
The Major puts in a monocle and squints at the picture for a moment. “Ha. Old Cronos isn’t it? Seem to remember the woman from somewhere. Don’t know about the babies. All look alike to me.” He passes it back to you.
“What do you think of Josh sir? Is he capable of killing Harrow?”
The Major purses his lips in thought before answering. “Tricky one. Any real man is capable of killing I say. Seen enough of it in India don’t you know. Still, murder? Not sure the boy has it in him. Not sure of himself, that’s his problem. Don’t blame him really. Anyone who didn’t know their real parents has a part of themselves missing says I.”
“Josh is an orphan?” You are startled by this revelation. “Then who is Avanor?”
“Damn. Forgot that wasn’t generally known. I am getting old and forgetful.” The Major turns to you. “Forget what I just said. Josh doesn’t know it himself and I don’t really mean to hurt the lad. Seems there are enough problems going on just now as it is. Forget it I say.”
“Yes sir, but do you know his real parents? Who…”
“Forget it I say!” Blasts the Major, slamming his glass down on the table and standing up. “Now, if you will excuse me, it is time for my constitutional.” With that he turns and leaves the room, leaving you standing in the parlor alone.
“Interesting, very interesting,” you murmur and are about to leave when another door opens and Bridgette peers in.
“Hello Yu,” she says. “Was that my father shouting?”
“Oh, I am sorry to have disturbed you Miss Bridgette,” you say as she walks into the room yawning.
“No matter, I have had quite enough sleep for one day anyway, too much and I won’t sleep at night.”
You remember the scene from the other night and wink. “And you need your sleep eh Miss Bridgette.”
She looks puzzled. “Sorry Yu?”
You turn red. “I mean, you might not get enough at night eh? Slipping off to Josh’s room I mean?” You mumble the last part, quite embarrassed now.
“Yu! I assure you I have been up to no such hanky-panky! My father has forbidden such, and I agree with him. Carnal pleasures are for the properly married. I will ask you not to be so presumptuous.”
She seems deadly serious. “Please, forgive me,” you say, “I was out of turn. I apologize.”
She sniffs, but nods. “Very well. Now, may I help you with something?”
You show her the photo. “Do you recognize anyone in this photo?”
She looks at it, front and rear, but shakes her head and passes it back. “Sorry, before my time. Perhaps you should ask Daddy, or Veerch. Someone older anyway.”
You place the photo back in your pocket and nod. “Just one more thing if you would. Where were you the evening Samantha was murdered?”
She thinks a moment. “I was in the dining hall until a little past midnight, then I went to my room to bed.”
“You went directly to your room?”
“I don’t know what you are trying to imply,” she says, “but yes. Directly to my room.”
You nod. “One more thing Miss. Bridgette, and then I will be out of your hair. How would you describe Josh’s relationship with Harrow?”
She frowns for a second. “To tell you the truth, I didn’t like Harrow very much. He was always hanging around, followed Josh around like a puppy. Seemed quite devoted. He could be a nuisance sometimes; one likes a little privacy you know.”
“Thank you Miss. Bridgette. Sorry to take up so much of your time.”
She nods and you depart. “The pieces are coming together,” you say to yourself. Actually, it doesn’t seem very clear to you, but it sounds good. So far all you have is that Harrow seemed to like Josh, yet he was blackmailing him about something. Yet what? Josh didn’t have a lot of money did he? What could Harrow have wanted? And would that be enough to drive Josh to murder? If so, why now? What about Samantha? Why would anyone murder her, and who could have used such powerful magic under the Barrier?
You put these questions out of your mind and decide to see if you can find Veerch. Bridgette’s suggestion was a good one. Some of the older residents would likely know more about the photo.
>
You grab a bite to eat from the empty dining room before you head towards Veerch’s room. The manservant, Rupert, opens the door and lets you in. You find the witch in a rocking chair, apparently moving of its own accord, and knitting. She nods at a nearby chair when she sees you.
“Hello Mrs. Veerch,” you begin.
“Just Veerch please boy,” she interrupts.
“Er, sorry. I was just wondering, do you recognize anyone in this photo?”
Veerch squints at the photo. “Well, look at that. It’s Matilda and Cronos! When was this taken?” She flips the photo over. “20 years ago eh? Well, that would be about right.”
“Who is Matilda?” you ask.
Veerch doesn’t answer directly, but thinks a moment first. “Terrible scandal that would have been. Practically forgotten about that myself.” She looks at you. “I was sworn to secrecy, but I can tell you that Matilda was a maid here at this Hall.” She hands the photo back to you.
“What happened to her?”
She shrugs. “Go and ask Streeve, Alice’s father, if you want to know more. I believe she was related in some way to him.”
You nod and thank her before taking your leave. Things are beginning to look more interesting. It seems the group of people gathered in the hall are not quite as unrelated as they first appear.
Streeve then, you decide, before it is time to report to the Master.
You find Streeve alone in the reading room. He is browsing through some novels. He glances at you as you approach. “Quite the collection,” he says.
“Indeed.” You stand next to him a moment and look at the books.
Finally Streeve turns to you. “Yu isn’t it?”
“Yes sir. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?”
“I doubt I can be of much help I am afraid, I didn’t really know Harrow very well.”
“Well, I wanted to know if you recognized anyone in this photo.” You hand it to him.
Streeve looks at it and his eyes widen. “Where did you get this?” he asks abruptly.
“It seems the Count kept it. Do you know the woman?”
He nods. “Her name was Matilda. She used to work here, for the Count.”
“Her name was Matilda? She is no longer with us then?”
Streeve shakes his head. “No. The Count killed her.”
“I am sorry?? The Count…”
“Well, he didn’t strike her down, if that is what you mean, but he is responsible for her death, sure enough. She was a good woman. I knew her well before she came to the hall. She… she was my wife.” Streeve suddenly looks up, tears in his eyes. Turning to you he thrusts the photo at you. “Here damn you! Take this thing. I had put all that behind me. Curse you for reminding me.”
He walks briskly off, leaving you standing there, stunned.
>
You are in Etrax’s chambers. He nods as you finish your tale. “Very interesting.”
“So, what is our next step?”
Etrax looks at you. “Let me see. What would you suggest my apprentice, what do you think we should do now?”
You rub your chin and scratch your head. What next?
>>>>>>
Yu’s Notes:
Count Cronos is trapped in Limbo, though no one knows why.
His son, Rudolpohus was killed not too long ago in a lab accident, though Malcolm seems to think it there was more to it than that, he is the only one who thinks this.
Samantha was killed by some powerful death magic, despite the fact the Shield around the hall makes it very hard for the use of spells. Who could have managed such a feat? No one seems to have magic that powerful, unless the witch perhaps?
Sam was pregnant, two months, yet Simon was away on business about that time.
Simon seemed to dislike Harrow, not sure why.
The Butler has provided an old picture from about 20 years ago of the Count with a woman and two babies.
New information:
Harrow seems to have been blackmailing Josh for some reason.
Josh (and presumably Sam) were orphans, though they don’t/didn’t know this.
Was Bridgette the one Yu saw slip into Josh’s room that night? Is she lying because she is embarrassed? Or was it someone else Yu saw? If so, who?
Despite the blackmail, Harrow seems to have been quite close to Josh.
The woman in the picture was called Matilda. She seems to have worked here for the Count some years ago, but there was a scandal. She was married to Streeve before that, and he blames the Count for her death in some way.
>>>
So what now gentle reader? What course of enquiry should they pursue next? Get your detective hats on and suggest away!
<<<<<<
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 2:40 am Post subject: |
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Well, in a detective story, nothing is coinedence. The fact that Matilda had two children (presumably the same age) and that Josh and Sam (twins) were adopted, the likely conclusion in this type of story would be that they're the long lost children, and that's why they were invited.
However, I suspect they're the Count's children, as opposed to Streeve's, and he forced her to sleep with him.
I'd go and talk to Alice's Father, mainly because he hasn't yet been spoken too, and who knows what information he could know.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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Is anyone else still reading this? I nearly put this story on hold before I wrote the latest chapter, but I hate giving up stories.
Maybe it has been too long between chapters. Mmmm.
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| I'm... well I will read it as soon as I get enough time (like in an hour or so)
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, this chapters is only bringing more confussion to me. Let's see...
In the picture is Matilda and the count with two babies.
The babies could:
A) be of one of them
1. Matilda and not count
2. Count and not Matilda
B) of both of them
Weird. While more information you got more questions appears
This only complicate the situation but we know (I think) that the childrens are Josh and Sam.
Next.
A) Count Cronos is in limbo because someone wanted to erase him and all his decendent (just guessing, but everything poin to that). That's why Rudolpohus is also dead. This guide us to Samantha death. So maybe (and I said MAYBE) someone tried to kill Josh and failed. That's why Harrow is dead now.
B) Someone else (not the "real killer") is taking advantage of the "real killer"to kill Harrow and accuse the "real killer".
C) Harrow wanted Bridgette (who apparently was interested on Josh) and that's why he blackmailed him. With what? Well it isn't Bridgette who was with Josh.
Oh, God... China, you put my mind to work very hard that I'm confused. Maybe everyone is a killer (as said the Major )
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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I've just caught up with this Chinaren, it's a great story, a well constructed mystery it seems.
unfortunately I'm at a loos for what to suggest. Looking for information from anyone that hasn't been spoken to yet sounds good.
I may be reading too much into the way Harrow acted but I think it was him sneaking into Josh's room. That would mean Josh was cheating on Bridgette with Harrow, and the blackmail note came from someone else who knew this. There's not enough info in the note to figure anything out (how convienient only certain world were not burned) so I'm stumped.
I think we need to find out who the blackmailer is, but I doubt the blackmailer would be the killer. What would he gain from killing Harrow? Either way I have no idea how to go about finding the blackmailer. We just need to know more about everybody
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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Wooo! :biggrin:
Some good deducing there by everyone!! You have re-energized my enthusiasm for this story.
Keep watching.
[EDIT] - I have just updated the summary in the first post.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 10:05 am Post subject: |
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So far it seems as if Streeve had motive for killing Sam, and for offing the Count's legitmate heir. If Sam and Josh are the Count's illegitmate children foistered on Matilda, then getting his revenge on them could well be his way to get his own back.
As for Harrow - he could well have discovered some incriminating evidence about Streeve, or it could simply have been a second killer. I think it's important - if possible - to try and discover just how powerful the surviving suspects are. Maybe narrow down the possible people how could have cast the Death Magic.
Of course - it could always be a ghost, just to be annoying.
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A Tale of Four Swords
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| Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 10:52 am Post subject: |
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Good thinking Argonaut. Maybe you are right about the blackmailer. But we haven't a method to obtain more information on it.
Let's find what Streeve have to say. I think that lord is right about he is a potencial suspect. So I think that we need to talk with him.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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Right then, so far we have:
| Quote: | | try and discover just how powerful the surviving suspects are. Maybe narrow down the possible people how could have cast the Death Magic. |
and...
| Quote: | | We just need to know more about everybody |
and...
| Quote: | | Let's find what Streeve have to say. |
I think I can manage all of those, so in the interests of speed I won't put a poll up, unless anyone else is reading and would like to suggest something not already done. If so, get the ideas in quick!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:02 am Post subject: Chapter 6. Matilda. |
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Chapter 6. Matilda.
Etrax looks at you as you ponder the options. You take out the photo and look at it again. “If this was the Count, this is Matilda, who are the babies?” You flip the photo over briefly. “20 years ago, about the same age as Sam and Josh. Could this infact be them? If so, is Matilda the mother? Could the father be the Count? It would explain the scandal that Veerch mentioned.”
Etrax nods. “Now you are thinking. There are too many co-incidences here, but we cannot be sure. The photo proves nothing. We need to go and ask Streeve some more questions I think.” He strides over to the doorway. “Come, no time like the present.”
You follow your master down the hallway and towards Streeves' quarters. As you approach you hear raised voices, and the door flies open.
Veerch storms out, with Streeve close behind. “It is ancient history! You know I was sworn to silence! I have said nothing...” Veerch stops abruptly as she sees you looking.
“Indeed! So what are they doing here then? No one else knows!” Streeve shakes a finger at her.
Veerch glares at him so forcefully he steps back. “Next time you raise your finger to me young man, you will not regret it for long. I am a witch of my word mark you.” She looks around, bows hurriedly to you both, and marches off down the hallway without another word. You look at Streeve, who sags against the doorway.
“Who is it?” he says. “What do you want?”
“Streeve, I am Etrax Rigel, and I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind. May we come in?”
“I do mind, and no you can't. If you are here about Matilda I am saying nothing! It is private business.” He tries to block the way, but Etrax steps around him.
“This will only take a moment sir. It could be directly related with the recent murders.”
Streeve relents and steps back. “Very well, but my information is limited, and what I have to say must not go further than this room.”
“Proceed, please,” says Etrax, and you notice he has not agreed to the terms. “What do you know of the lady and babies in the photograph?”
“The lady is Matilda. She was my wife. The Count is, well, the Count. I have suspicions about the children, but no evidence, so I will not speak of them.”
“You said your wife died, can you elaborate?” You say in gentle tones.
Streeve heaves a deep sigh. “We were married with one child, Alice. I was called up into service, the Empire was having troubles in India and I was in the reserves. At about the same time Matilda took employ in the service of the Count as a serving lady. I was sent overseas, where I fought in the Calcutta wars. I was away for nearly 18 months, and when I returned Matilda was pale and haggard. She was a different woman from the one I left.”
The monologue is interrupted as the door opens and Alice strolls in. She looks at everyone and then strides quickly over to her father. “Father! Are you alright? What are these gentlemen doing here?”
“We have some questions about your mother that must be asked,” says Etrax.
Alice's mouth tightens. “Leave him alone! Can't you see you are upsetting him?”
“I am sorry Miss, but we must do this,” Etrax turns back to Streeve. “Please, carry on.”
“There is little else to say,” says Streeve, sitting in an armchair. “The day after I returned from India Matilda took her own life. I found her... found her...” He breaks down, unable to continue.
Alice stoops by him. “Are you happy now? You should be questioning Josh, not my father!”
“And why is that?” You ask.
“Ha! Some detectives you are. Don't you know yet? Josh was having an affair with Harrow! That's right, you heard me. Harrow told me some time ago, but being a friend I felt I couldn't say anything. Now, leave, leave now!”
Etrax purses his lips for a moment, and then nods. You both let yourself out, closing the door behind you.
“So, Streeve was away for 18 months. More than enough time for scurrilous acts to take place.” Etrax closes his notebook. “I wish to think further on this. Meanwhile I want you to go and question Josh about this new information. Also find out anything you can about his father and mother. Use tact.”
You nod and Etrax walks away. You turn about and walk to Josh's room, going over the information in your mind. A picture is slowly building, but you can't see what it is yet. Certainly the relationship between Harrow and Josh is startling, and you can understand why they would wish to keep it secret. Such acts are hardly approved of.
The door to Josh's room is closed, and you knock on it loudly. No one answers, so you knock again. Still no response. You try the handle and push, to find the door open. Peering in it seems that the room is empty. Josh is nowhere to be seen.
You scratch your head and wander off down the corridor, walking around for a good ten minutes in a fruitless search. Finally you bump into Raith, the young, newly married woman you met at dinner the other night.
“Hello,” she says, in a friendly way. “How is your investigation going? Any progress?”
“Information is coming out slowly,” you answer.
“Oh, whilst you are here, maybe you can help me with something.”
“I will do my best of course.”
“One of my husbands wands has gone missing.”
You raise an eyebrow. “His wands?”
“Yes, didn't I mention? Heath is a wand salesman. He just found out that someone has taken one from his pack, it was in our room, under the bed.”
“I see,” you say. “What did it do?”
“He said it was a sleep model, I can't tell you the full specifications I am afraid.”
“I will look into it,” you say. “Whilst I remember, do you by any chance know anyone in this old photo?” You pass her the picture and she examines it.
“Oh! Yes, this is the Count and I think that is, what was her name now? Ma... Matilda! That was it. Yes. My mother used to work for the Count, about the same time I think. She has shown me photos from that period. From what I heard the Count was a terrible one for bothering the female staff. My mother resigned her post because of it, so she says. I recognize Matilda because she was a favorite of the Master, so mother says. She wasn't very popular with the other girls because of it.” Raith frowns. “Some sort of scandal there too, if I recall.” She hands the photo back and smiles suddenly. “Anyway, ancient history now eh? If you would excuse me, I must be on my way.”
You bow and she moves off, leaving you to resume your search for Josh. An idea hits you and you smack your forehead with your hand. Of course! He is probably with his father!
You turn back and head towards Avanor's room, knocking on the door once you are there. There is a pause and then:
“Come!”
You enter, to find Avanor alone, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror. “Hello again Yu,” he says. “How may I help you?”
“I was looking for Josh, I thought he may be here?”
“I left him in his room a little while ago,” replies Avanor, “he said he was going to rest.”
You frown. “He wasn't there just now. Where could he be?”
Avanor shrugs. “It is a big house, could be anywhere.”
You pause and then broach the subject. “Avanor, I have learned that Sam and Josh are adopted.”
Avanor stops fiddling with his tie, looks at you, then sighs. “I suppose it couldn't remain a secret forever. Have you told Josh? He doesn't know.”
“Not yet,” you shake your head.
Avanor walks over to the drinks cabinet, pouring himself a whisky. “Would you like one?”
You shake your head.
“Fair enough.” He sips at his drink.
“Would you mind revealing his real parentage?”
Avanor shakes his head. “I am sorry, I actually don't know.” He raises his hand as you are about to speak. “It is a spell, I know that much, and I know I agreed to the deal. I have just no memory of the real parents, so it is no use asking me. I can't tell you.”
You open your mouth to ask another question, but are interrupted by screams. “Not again!” You both rush out and run down the corridor, towards the sound of the screams which appear to be coming from Streeve's room.
Indeed, you round the corner and see Alice, sobbing and being supported by Veerch. You push past and get a sense of deja-vu as you see the prone form of Streeve, lying on the floor, a knife embedded in his chest. You have no doubt he is quite dead.
>>>>>>
The body count rises! Who could be the killer? And what to do now?
Suggestions please! This tale is nearly done, the pieces are on the table, and the final chapter is ever closer!
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 3:37 am Post subject: |
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On this one I have three suspects. Josh, the witch and Alice.
But I think that now we need to find Josh. He could clarify a lot of things. Right now he is the one I could accuse to be the killer.
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:46 am Post subject: |
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The missing sleep wand could account for the knife murders. When you are asleep you don't struggle. That is assuming a wand would work in here.
I still can't figure out the motives. Maybe I should go back a re-read some stuff.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:13 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Matilda stoops by him. “Are you happy now? You should be questioning Josh, not my father!” |
Don't you mean Alice stoops by him? Matilda's dead, surely.
Well, as far as we know, Alice was with him the entire time. It's probably been no more than 30 mins since you last saw him, possibly even less. Question everyone as usual.
Harrow and Josh may have beeen having an affair, but Harrow was also supposedly blackmailing Josh. Of course, that could (and probably is) the blackmail.
It's always possible that Josh discovered he was adopted, and has learnt (or at least believes) that he is the Count's son. For that reason, he is attempting to murder of the Count's other descendants (his sister and half-brother). Harrow could have been blackmailing Josh into sleeping with him as he knew this.
I could be wrong though, and Alice could instead be the murderer. She had the oppurtunity, and as far as we know she was alone with her father.
In summary, the only thing you can do know is the usual - ask questions, check for prints, general forensic magic.
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Dimede
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| Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Where you get it???
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I voted wand, maybe like, the witch can cast a spell on it to see who was the last user...okay got that from harry potter, sue me. I've only read like one book anyways. Took me a time to read all the chapters actually, some of them are quite long. Anyways, can't wait for the fina chapter(s)!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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Just in time Fenny! I plan to write the (just about) last chapter inthe next few days, to close this one off.
Good idea about the wand by the way, even if it was stolen.
So any other votes, get 'em in quick!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 7:40 am Post subject: Chapter 7. WHO DUNNIT? |
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Chapter 7. WHO DUNNIT?
“He is quite dead,” says Veerch, as you look at her.
“What is going on here?” Your master's voice cuts through the gathering crowd. He pushes through and looks into the room, and then at Veerch and Alice. “Get her to another room,” he orders, and the witch nods and hustles the sobbing figure away.
He turns to the people that have gathered. “The rest of you, unless you saw something, please, return to your rooms. I will inform you of any relevant information. Please, lock your doors and be careful.”
The small crowd grumbles and mutters, but disperse non the less.
You enter the room with Etrax and look around as he squats over the corpse. Unlike the other murders, this one is recent. You spoke to Streeve barely more than thirty minutes ago. Even so, the room looks to be in good order. A drink is still on the bedside table, a small amount of liquid still left. You pick it up and smell it. Water.
Etrax stands up. “Similar, and yet not, to the other knife death.”
“Who could it be? Veerch was arguing with him when we saw him. Could it be her? Of course, Alice was with him when we left, and it was not long ago.”
“Alice could have left a minute after us, that proves nothing. Even so, why kill her own father?”
You shrug. “If it is Veerch, then she could have been feeding us false information all along.”
Etrax nods and scratches his chin. 'My mind is full of patterns. For this case, I see several of them, yet merging. There is more than one story here.” He turns as Veerch enters the room.
“Before you say anything,” the witch says, “I was in my room. Rupert saw me enter, though he left shortly after on an errand, so I have no witnesses. Still, I give you my word as a Senior Witch that I had no part in this deed.”
Etrax nods. “If you would be kind enough to cast your senses over the body, I would appreciate it if you could glean any information about the last few moments of his life.”
Veerch walks over to the body and looks down a moment. After a slight pause she begins a spell. Even you can see the effort it takes her.
The spell has no visible effects, though the witch stops casting and looks into space, to something only she can see. Finally she slumps and staggers over to the bed.
Etrax pours a glass of water and offers it to her.
“Thank you,” she says, draining the glass. “Magic is becoming harder to use as the mana within the barrier is used up. I fear I will not be able to cast many more spells.”
“What did you find out?” you ask.
The witch shakes her head and looks up as Rupert enters, a concerned look on his face.
“Mistress, you are overdoing it. You need rest,” he says.
She waves him away. “I know what I am doing.” She turns to Etrax. “The death is devoid of magic. Within the last 20 minutes is all I could narrow it down to. There were strong words exchanged in this room recently. I am sorry, that is all I could detect.”
Etrax moves close and performs a slight bow. “That is more than I could ask for Madam Witch. Please, you should rest.”
Veerch nods and allows Rupert to lead her away.
Etrax waits until they have left and then looks at you. “So, my apprentice, what are your thoughts on the murder scene?”
You take another look around, concentrating on the body this time. Streeve is lying in the middle of the floor. His face seems to be locked in an expression of shock, though that could just be your imagination. The knife, a common household knife, which could be found in a hundred places, is embedded squarely in his chest. You look closer. On his hand there is a trace of something. Could it be blood? His clothes are as you last saw him in, and appear to be in good order still.
You look at Etrax for permission and he nods. Searching through the pockets you find nothing of great interest. Some change, a watch and a wallet. You open the wallet and find a picture, an old one, which seems to be of Matilda. There is nothing else of interest, and you pass it to your master, who frowns.
Eventually you stand and scratch your head. “It seems to be much the same as the last murder,” you say.
“Except I don't think this one is quite the same. There is evidence of an argument,” Etrax gestures. “Look over there, “the waste basket has been knocked over, perhaps kicked from the dent in the side, and then righted again.”
“How can you tell?
“There is still some trash on the floor under the bed which must have rolled under there when it was knocked over.”
“That could have been the maid,” you point out.
Etrax shrugs. “So it could, yet I doubt the maid would miss such, the Count was very particular about such things.”
You look around. “I see nothing here that could help us. We should question Alice.”
Etrax agrees. “I will do so. In the meantime I want you to return to Harrow's room. Turn it upside down. I want you to look for anything suspicious. If you find anything let me know at once.”
You nod and head out of the door and back to Harrow's room.
The chamber is unnaturally cold. You pull your jacket closer as you start to go through everything. You perform a sweep of the drawers first, removing them and checking underneath. Nothing. You are about to start on the bed when the door to the closet creaks open.
You look and shiver. It seems suddenly colder. Still, you brace yourself and walk over to the cupboard , which is full of clothes, presumably Harrow's. As you look a sleeve of a jacket seems to twitch. After initially stepping back you force yourself forward and pull out the jacket. Something falls to the floor as you do so, and you bend down to see a slim black stick.
Could this be the missing sleep wand?
A cold wind sweeps through the room, causing the drapes to swing. Forgoing forensic methods you grab the slim stick and run out of the room, slamming the door behind you.
Once your heart has resumed something of it's usual speed, you head immediately for Streeve's chambers. Etrax isn't there, but the butler is. “Your master indicated he would be with Ms. Veerch and Alice in the room along the hall,” the old man says.
You thank him and walk to the door indicated, briefly knocking before entering.
It is a suite. In the main room Veerch and Etrax are sitting at a table and speaking in low voices. Etrax is also sipping on a clear drink. He looks up at you as you enter and raises an eyebrow. “Alice is sleeping,” he gestures at a door. “What do you have for me my apprentice?”
You set the wand down on the table. “This was in Harrow's room. Hidden in a jacket. I have a... hunch he would have wanted us to find it.
Veerch leans close and mutters a cantrip under her breath. “Mmm, interesting,” she says. “It is totally drained of power.”
“Can you find out who used it last?” asked Etrax.
Veerch looks at him. “This will be my last magic, for my powers are at their limit,” she says.
Etrax nods and you both watch as she once more summons the Powers to perform her bidding. Etrax turns to you as she does so. “Alice says she left her father and went down to the dining hall to fetch him some food. She returned to find him murdered.”
“Indeed,” you say and are about to say more when Veerch groans and slumps forward.
“It was Harrow,” she croaks. “Harrow was the last user of this device.”
“Thank-you mistress,” says Etrax. He looks at you. “Find Josh. Stay with him, however long it takes. Be on your guard.”
“Yes sir,” you say. “What should I look for?”
“Just be on your guard, and don't leave his side,” says your employer.
You nod your understanding and leave the room, turning at random down a corridor.
It takes half an hour, but you find Josh by literally bumping into him as you walk around a corner.
“Josh!” You exclaim. “Where have you been?”
Josh looks pale. “I have been walking in the gardens, thinking. Now, if you will excuse me it is getting late, I am tired and wish to turn in.”
“I am sorry, but I have orders to accompany you.”
Josh looks at you a second, as if about to complain, but then he sighs and pushes back his hair. “Whatever you like.” He walks off and you follow him to his room, standing embarrassed as he closes the curtains and slumps onto the bed.
“I am drained,” he says, and closes his eyes.
You move away and sit in a chair in a dark corner of the room. The clock in the corner is ticking, and the slowly your eyelids droop.
>
You jerk awake. Someone is in the room! You watch as a hooded figure, dressed in black, slowly sneaks towards the bed. The person has obviously not seen you sitting in the corner.
It approaches the sleeping figure of Josh and to your horror, raises a knife high in the air above him, poised to strike!
You don't hesitate, but leap at the assassin, knocking them to the ground just as the door bursts open and Etrax dives in, helping you to subdue the struggling figure.
“Well done my apprentice,” he says as you both rest, panting, sitting on the intruder. “I suspected Josh's life would be in danger, but I didn't think the murderer would be so eager to finish him off.”
“Wha...” Josh wakes up and takes in the scene with puzzled eyes. “What is going on here? Who is that?”
“This,” says Etrax grandly, “is the one behind the dastardly deeds done over the last few days in this hall.”
So saying he grabs the hood of the captive. “Behold! I present to you our murderer...”
So saying he whips off the hood to reveal...
>>>>>>
Oooh! Who is it?
Okay, I know it isn't really SGame protocol, but I already know who it is. I just thought I would give you a final chance to state who you think did it!
Let's hear your thoughts and I will do a final 'wrap up' chapter...
<<<<<<
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| Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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COOL! You used my idea, wat sun, wat! lol.
It is...Bridgett! I have no idea why though...because she's a little b****?, thats a good one!
lol kidding, how about...gah! Must think!
Last edited by Guest on Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry Chinaren, I can't figure it out, how whould knowing that Harrow used the wand last allow Etrax to figure out who the killer was? Or even that Josh was the next target? who was the blackmailer?
If Josh and Sam were the count's iligitimate children, the killer could be tring to remove any possible inheritors of the count's holdings. But no-one else has any claim on the inheritence. Furthermore why kill Harrow and Streeve?
I can't figure out a motive to connect the murders, or even what it has to do with the count being in limbo, which it the reason for this whole mess. Unless there are multiple killers (which seems not to be the case) or perhaps multiple motives (you've discovered my secret not you must die) I just don't get it. And how was the first murder done with magic?
Etrax better have one hell of a wrap up speech about how everything actually happened. I hate it when I can't figure these things out.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Etrax better have one hell of a wrap up speech about how everything actually happened. I hate it when I can't figure these things out. |
Well, this is my first ever attempt at this kind of story, so I hope everything makes sense in the end!!
I will start writing the wrap-up, and then you can flame me/praise me or both, depending on what you think!
Now I am nervous. 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:20 pm Post subject: Chapter 8. It was Murder! |
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Chapter 8. It was Murder!
“You!” you cry. “But why?”
The murdered shouts, “Get off me! Get off my stomach!”
“Easy,” says Etrax, “get up Yu, but be careful.”
“Why?” you say, getting up. “Why? Why should you want to kill Josh?”
“Indeed, what have I ever done to you?” asks Josh, sitting up on his bed.
“You were born,” the murderer replies, and sits down in a chair.
You look at Etrax for an explanation.
“It wasn't easy, but all the pieces pointed to the Count and his family somehow. Josh's secrets didn't help me.”
“His secrets?” you ask, looking at Josh, who hung his head.
“Remember, you saw someone slip into Josh's room the first night? You assumed it was Bridgette, performing an illicit liaison, but in-fact it was Sam, his own sister, who he was having an incestuous affair with. It was her, not Bridgette, that you saw. Bridgette was still in the hall with several of us. Indeed, Sam was pregnant by Josh, conception occurring whilst Simon was away on business.”
“So who killed Sam? And why?”
“This is where it gets a little complicated,” says Etrax. “Josh is a handsome lad. He was chased not only by the ladies, but by others too.”
“Harrow?” you ask.
“Indeed,” replies Etrax. “Harrow was in love with Josh, but Josh wasn't interested. Then Harrow, somehow, found out about Josh and Sam. He used that information to blackmail Josh into having... relations with him.”
“Sam and Harrow?” you say, looking at Josh with your eyebrows raised.
“And Bridgette of course, though the relationship was more formal than his illicit affairs.”
“So Harrow killed Sam because he was jealous?”
“Yes Harrow killed Sam, but the idea was not his. Harrow let slip his knowledge to his close friend at school, who decided to make use of the knowledge by blackmailing Harrow in turn. Harrow was told to murder Sam.”
You look back at Etrax, who continues.
“That night you overheard someone talking. It was our murderer, egging on Harrow. Later that Harrow sneaked into Sam's room, before Simon returned, and killed her with powerful magic. But how? Harrow was no master wizard. No, he stole one of Heart's wands, a sleep wand. However, turned up to full power, and used repeatedly, it could kill, overdose if you will. Harrow killed Sam.”
“Then Harrow was killed in turn?”
“Yes, he was getting nervous. Harrow had had an argument with Josh, and was threatening to come clean, something the murderer couldn't allow, As the murderer was a friend of Harrow, they were able to take him by surprise. They killed Harrow and left clues pointing to Josh, in an effort to mislead.”
“The note?”
“Yes indeed. However, the paper in fireplace was placed there. The location of it was suspicious. Everything else was well burnt. It had obviously been put there afterwards, to be found.”
“So what about Streeve then? Why kill Streeve? That makes no sense,” said Josh.
Streeve? I suspect it was an accident, they got into an argument. Streeve was saying Etrax was too close, and they should abort the plan, the killer disagreed, and killed him in a fit of rage.”
Yo u look at the killer.
“So Alice killed her own father.”
Alice scowls at you from her chair. “I didn't mean to, but he was always weak. A weak man.” She turns to Etrax. “How did you know I did it?”
“I had narrowed it down to several people, but you said you left the room to get Streeve some food, and when you came back you found him dead. You overlooked one small thing though. Where was the food?”
Alice scowls.
“So that is how, but why? Why kill two people, and cause the death of another. Let alone try and kill me?” Josh asks.
“She killed three people,” you say, suddenly catching on.
“Correct,” says Etrax. “Rudolphus' death wasn't an accident. Alice is a potions major. She changed a key ingredient in his experiment. Malcolm noticed the switch afterwards, but Alice was clever, and no one could detect how it was done.”
“That just leaves the why,” you say.
“Several reasons,” Etrax looks at Alice. “First, revenge. The Count was, indirectly, responsible for Matilda's death. The Count had an affair with Matilda, resulting in offspring, a pair of twins.”
“The photo!” you say.
“That is right, Josh is the bastard son of Count Cronos. However, such an event would have caused great scandal, so the Count forced Matilda to give the children away, to Avanor, paying him to bring up the children as if they were his own.”
“But also casting a spell on him, with his agreement, so he would forget the details!” Josh says.
“That's right. However, Matilda couldn't take the loss, and eventually, overcome with grief and guilt, killed herself.”
“So Alice, who was Matilda's first daughter, found this out, and decided to take revenge,” you say.
“Nearly. She didn't know the reason her mother killed herself, but she knew the Count was behind it. She must have planned her vengeance for years. She joined the same school as Rudolphus. They became friends, and, if my suspicion is right, more than that. From the way she acted when you sat on her, she is bearing Rudolphus's child.”
“She wanted to bear the heir to the Count's fortune!”
“As soon as she knew she was pregnant, which can be determined almost at once with modern magics, she killed Rudolphus. Unfortunately, at about the same time, she became aware of Josh and Sam.”
“Who would be in line for the Count's money too!”
“She had to get rid of them. This gathering was highly fortuitous, and perhaps a little bit of self fulfilling prophecy. The Count was old. The death of his only son speeded up his demise, yet he could not be free until he knew the truth about his heir, and about who would succeed him. Hence this gathering, which was ironically when Alice found out about Sam and Josh.”
A cold wind fills the room, and a transparent figure steps forward. It is the Count. “My legacy has been fulfilled, the killer of my son discovered. I am free, as are you all,” he says. “Your fee will be paid Mr. Rigel.” He turns and looks at Josh and Alice in turn, a strange expression on his face, then there is a flash of white light, and he is gone.
>>>>>>
There you go then. Finished. Alice dunnit.
This sort of story is not easy to write! My hat goes off to Ms. Christie!
I especially found it hard to do good decision points for this story, any hints/ideas on what I could have done better helpful. I realize better character and clue round ups would be helpful. Also less characters all at once in the introduction.
Detective stories seem to be quite hard to write in SGame format. The D points often have lots of options, but it seems that most of them should/would be done. Like: 1. Search the room 2. Question the suspects. Etc. These should really both be done, so I need to figure out some sort of better way of doing DPs before I do another of these.
Having said that, I do have a sequel is in mind, though it is only vague at the moment. The sequel, when/if I write it, will not be in this same format, and would be in more of a detective story with different locations.
Anyway, thanks for reading/playing, and my thanks to Argo for the great pic of Etrax and Yu!
F 'the record, this was the first story on IF (I think) to have a 'cover', at least from the off. It was the first one to have an animated 'cover' that's for sure.
Now if you will excuse me, I must PM Smee for my 100Fables!
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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JezSharp
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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Well I've only just breezed through this one , so I can't really comment too much on how it can be improved...wish I'd been following it from the start though and had a go at guessing who had done it . One thing that struck me about it was that it was a rather convoluted genology - the number of people related to other people was confusing me - perhaps some more distinctive characters - (although I have jumped parts and skim read and I am never ever good at coping with keeping track of who's who if there are more than 5 people so these comments may be wide of the mark )
One idea would be to have different people playing various parts such as murdere, victim, each guest in the house, detective - however I'm not quite sure how to practically make that work. Dp wise...tricky, unless you were to write the story from the murderer's point of view and constantly have the readers directing him/her - but this still comes up against the same problems to a lesser extent, e.g Should you remove the prints on the murder weapon or wipe your prints of the door - both.
Anyway I look forward to a future Murder Mystery style story being an avid fan of Agatha Christie's works .
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:26 am Post subject: |
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It was a good story. I almost know who did it but you know, the false clue took me.
For improve your skill, well you know what you need (as you wrote it).
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:59 am Post subject: |
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Everything makes sense, but I don't think there were enough clues for the reader to get everything that Etrax got. I'm not sure how to make better DPs but in this kind of story you really need to give every clue to the reader, so in the end they say "ahh I get it now".
Perhaps it's because of the time between reading each chapter. I certainly forgot some clues that should probably have been more obvious to me. When you go back and read it, everything fits together, I'm no mystery writer myself so I'm not sure how to do it any better.
Still a very cool story, and a satisfying (and slightly mind boggling) conclusion. I'd say it's pretty fantastic for a first mystery story ever.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks guys.
Yes, the clues. Very tricky this one. I must admit, I erred on the side of 'caution' here. I didn't want to make it too easy! People are far more clever than me at these things, and though I can never get it, others do.
The clues need to be just a right balance, enough to allow the possibility of guessing it, but not to make it too easy. Also they need to be dribbled out at a reasonable rate over the course of the tale. I agree, there were probably not quite enough.
You also have a point with the speed. This kinda SGame needs to be done reasonably quickly, so people don't forget what came before, though a clue roundup would help. However, I wanted people to get some 'on their own'.
Ah well, next time!
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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You are right china, we can't have too much clues because we could find it. Also I just thought on the real murder because of the last one. I couldn't find how to fill her with the others.
Still very good story. Hope to see other one about mystery and deads soon.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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See, why did you have to write the final so quickly - didn't give me a chance to finger Alice.
And... | Quote: | | It was her, not Sam, that you saw. Bridgette was still in the hall with several of us. Indeed, Sam was pregnant by Josh, conception occurring whilst Simon was away on business. |
The first Sam should actually be Bridgette.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry Lordy, I wanted to wrap it up. Anyway, welcome back.
Fixed the typo, thanks!
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