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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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 Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 9:54 am Post subject: Death Day - FINAL CHAPTER UP! |
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Death Day 0
A girl, no older than twenty-five, lay curled on her side in the middle of a small town road. Rain pelts her slowly stiffening naked body and a thunderstorm rages overhead. She'd always loved thunderstorms. They made her relaxed and excited at the same time. The thunder claps fall on now deaf ears, bringing no comfort to the figure laying in a swiftly dissipating pool of her own blood. The rivulets of distilled blood dribble down into a nearby sewer grate. She had always kept her local sewer grates clean. Though she liked floating boats on the street river created by clogged sewer grates, her thoughts drifted more and more to the safety of the drivers forced out into this inhospitable weather as she got older.
Her eyes stare unblinking and unseeing at the apple trees across the street from the corner store. Both store and trees are less than a block from her home. She loved those apple trees. When caught outside for hours when her parents or siblings were in a bad mood, they made good supplement for a hyperactive little girl. Not so little anymore, her tastes having moved on to more heavy food as soon as she started getting a paycheck. Her hazel green eyes are glazed over, not blinking as raindrops and blood from the bullet hole in her head drips into their now hardening surfaces.
Her only attire, a medium sized, long, red, soft polyester ribbon, tied close but not choking around her neck it the only thing the killer left. The limp loops and legs lay, soaked and ragged, on the unforgiving stone and tar road beneath her robust body. She'd always like claiming that she's a hobbit, that's why all her sibling could rest their chins on her head without lifting them. Why she seems to keep growing outwards despite the fact that she exercises. Her claims of sizism against all people under 5'5” would ring through the house every time she was forced to drag her 5 foot tall sack of meat and bone on to a counter to reach something.
She had been a happy girl. Remembered by all who met her, even if it was for only a moment. Fiercly protective of all she considered dear to her. Even going so far as to take one 16 people at once to defend her dear brother, and winning. She was a truly free and fiery spirit. The lights and sirens of the approaching police and ambulance would have caused her to jump up, and hunt down the “action” in this small town. Her small body is photographed, documented, then removed.
After a week of futile searching, her description is finally released on the news. Her mother, having been out of town, returning only today, hears the description, and about how the girl had the red ribbon about her neck, and lets out a wail. Running from room to room, searching high and low for her little girl, she finds no trace. She calls her son at work, frantic for it not to be true. His claims of her staying at collage sends the woman into a pit of despair. With trembling fingers, she hangs up, then dials the number that had blared out of the radio along with what she now knew to be her child's description. In less than an hour, they confirm ID.
Her little girl was dead. Her Odie, Sharptooth, Baby of the set, Toothead, was no more. The woman finds herself leading the police into her home. Looking for clues they say. She descends into the basement, before the techs can get to her little girl's “Cave of Infinite Possibility”. Posters and wall scrolls she'd once have torn down and burned now seem beautiful and precious in her eyes. She walks to the wall furthest from the stairs, her tears now dry, and numbness setting in. Sitting down in the right hand corner, she runs scared fingers over volume after volume of what she had once called “The devil's temptations”. The Manga feels smooth and soft beneath her fingers, and she recalls the way her daughter would crack open a new book for the first time and press her face between the pages, inhaling deeply. “Nothing quite like the smell of a fresh book!” She'd say, a huge grin on her face. No, nothing quite like it.....
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Oki, I know this is wholly depressing, but bear with me. If it doesn't turn you guys off too much, I'd like to write a speed game on what lead up to this ending in the girls life. I'm sure you can all find a way to enjoy it! Eventually. =^.^=
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And my first Finished work Death Day
Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:22 pm; edited 25 times in total
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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Very dark and foreboding. Is there anyway we can avoid this fate through our decisions?
Btw, I enjoyed the limited omniscient narrative style. It was interesting to explore the thoughts of the dying girl.
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 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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| Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 2:31 am Post subject: Ummm..... |
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I havn't decided wether or not it can be avoided. It all depends on how the story goes.... Thanks for reading, and I's glad you like the style!
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| Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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I kind of like the idea that we can't avoid it - but our decisions may make for a different overall outcome that may be more profound than cheating death.
This was some of your best work yet Pope! It took some serious concentration to follow but when I was able to get my poor head to focus hard enough, I found it intensely insightful and emotionally powerful. You've even been quite clever with some of your wording and the crafting of your message. Truly a work of art here.
I'll be very interested, then, when you begin the story in full.
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:17 am Post subject: Death Day 13 |
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Death Day 13
The girl wakes, like any other day, to the sound of her brother in the shower. ^6AM, every week day, without fail....damn annoying brat.^ But, despite her distaste for the early morning, she rises. Moving to the computer, she checks up on her favorite sites before looking over her brother's. 'Good, no one suspicious' Ever since they were young, she's always kept an eye out for her dear “older” brother. Looking down, she pokes her ever inexplicably expanding belly. ^Why couldn't I get the high metabolism? With his -hem- exercise, he'd stay thin no matter what!^ Once again cursing her draw of the short straw in the twin arrangement, the girl head up to the bathroom.
Climbing the steep steps, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, she reaches the top in a huff. Seeing her brother exit the bathroom just in time, he scuttles aside as she strides forward. His white skin seems to glow in the pre-dawn light. “Ghost...” She quips. “Whale” He shoots back. A quick dodge and a half stumble down the basement steps are the only thing that saves him from a thorough thrashing. Shaking a fist, she heads off to do her sh*t shower and shave for the morning. ^I hate shaving...it's all itchy! I'ma so kill him when I catch him...Insensitive prick^ She smiles to herself imagining all the ways to kill him and dispose of his body. ^Vat of acid sounds nice^ Once clean and dry, she heads back down to their room. He's standing in front of the full length, naked, drying his insanely long hair with a towel.
^Perfect^ She lunges forward, deciding her revenge. “Uwa! No! Itai!” Her rough hands begin drying his hair roughly, tangling it horribly in the process. “You are evil!” He cries, finally pulling away. He whips around, glaring at her with harsh red eyes.
“Oh come now, brother, it's not like I cut it off! Not like Mom....” Her voice trails off as she sees her brother flinch. “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up. ^Mother cut it all off once she did. He was young, but it was still horrible....^ Sliding up to him she pulls her brother into a hug. He rests his chin on her head and wraps his long arms around her.
“S'ok sis. At least I have it all back now!” He smiles, pulling back and twirling so that all 5 feet flares out around him like a shroud. The beautiful white hair catches the dim basement light just right and seems to gleam.
“Yeh yeh, rub it in....” She mumbles, fingering her own mid back length dishwater blonde hair. Her brother pulls her into another hug before moving to the bedroom to get dressed. She slides back in front of the computer to check again that no one's bugging her brother. ^We don't need another incident like that.....Years ago, he met a friend from online in person, and that person had been....^ She clenches a fist, growling at the fact that she wasn't there. Smooth white arms wrap around her shoulders and pulls her back on to a still damp chest.
“I can guess what you're thinking of, and stop it! No more blaming yourself, I mean it LITTLE sister.” She swats at him, shooing him away so she can do her morning updates. He kisses her head, then ruffles her hair before moving away. ^Damnit! You'd think I was several years younger! He's only got 43 seconds on me!^ Finishing up, she snatches up his brush before trotting over to his shirt chair. The floor around it is the cleanest in the whole basement. ^Can't have him getting this lovely mass dirty!^
The longs silky strands between her fingers feel so smooth, she can't stop herself from petting it gently. ^So beautiful....My beautiful brother, I'd do anything for you, you know that right?^ His eyes close, lost in the feeling of being pet. After about an hour, the mass is almost dry, and all brushed out. After a few extra strokes, she plants a kiss on his crown before stepping back. The, without warning, she clonks him one with the hard handle of the brush. “Itai! What was that for!” He cries, jumping up and spinning around, making his hair fall over his left shoulder.
“Sill brother, you thought a few snarls would be enough revenge for calling me a whale!?” She cries, giving him a shove, pressing him precariously close to the fireplace. The glass cover ensured no flames touched skin, but the plate is hot enough to take off several layers of skin.
“Hey, hey! C'mon! You know you're getting big, and you need to work on it! You're the one complaining about being overweight, and if I don't pick on you, you'll go out and buy a bag f those doughnuts on the way to school!” His frantic waving of arms and pitiful voice make her smile. Grabbing his hand, she twirls him around into the living room area.
“I know, and I won't stop you, but you know first thing in the morning is too much!” Planting a kiss dead on, she trots over to the bedroom to dress herself. ^Ah, brother, how cute you are....I need to find a guy at least half as hot as you.^ Slipping on her usual sweats and tee, she swishes past her brother, sitting on the computer, working hard on something. “I'll whip you up some lunch, then I'm out!” She calls over her shoulder. A hand peeks out between hanging clothes as the only response. ^I swear he's starting to like those writing people better than me...^
With a sigh, she jets up the stairs, and turns a sharp right into the kitchen. ^It's going to take forever to get used to this new layout^ Looking up to her left as she walks in, her mind scream ^SIZIST!^ as she gazes upon one the newest additions to the kitchen. A row of shelves climbing almost to the roof now holds many of the foods stuffs she uses on a regular basis. ^Damn you tall peoples, this whole world is against short people^ Hiking her way up on to the counter with ease from years of practice, she pulls down the instant potatoes for her bro's lunch. ^A chop and a scoop o' hot snow, with a side of mud and dirt^ She grins at her creation. Leaving the meal in a portioned tupperware, she flies outside.
Hopping on to her bright, shiny new purple girls bike ^Sexist pigs^ she speeds around the house and into the back alley. A sharp left and down the sidewalk. Her mind on other matters, she doesn't see the car even after it's too late. Her body bounces off the front bumper, her leg getting smashed a bit between bike and fiberglass. ^Thank god for toy minivans^ she thinks as she feels her leg. People around her are screaming, and the driver climbs out of his vehicle, looking petrified. ^Ugh, all this noise is going to give me a headache.
She waves off the onlookers best she can, and when they don't leave fast enough she growls and barks at them in a very convincing dog impression. “Are you alright!? I didn't see you there, you just came out of nowhere!” She nods over and over.
“I agree, I wasn't looking. Now, kindly extract my bike from under your plastic mobile so I can get to school?” Taken aback by her gruffness, the man obeys without question. ^God this hurts, but no worse than running 2 miles.....Of which I should have never done, but I'm a moron that way^ Brushing him off her bike, the girl mounts and is off before another word can be said. ^I hate people making something from nothing.^ She speeds past a house with apple trees on her right. ^I can't wait for those to ripen!^ In less than 5 minutes, a cop car pulls along side of her just before she reaches the stretch of road she takes which has no sidewalk.
Not wanting to cause too much trouble she stops and waits for the window to roll down. Behind the wheel is an infantile looking officer. ^He can't be 3 years older than me, if that! Tells me how important a hit and flee is in this town^ He coughs, looking her over. Her wounded left leg is out of sight. “A girl matching your description was reported to have been hit by a mini van about a mile back, near 16th. Is that you?”
Shaking her head in disbelief she replies, “Yeh, that's me, but I'd rather not be late for school, so can I skip the report this time? Or are you implying my massive behind did some actual damage to that matchbox?” She grins wide as her comments makes his jaw drop literally. ^Yes! Score one more for my quickie comebacks!^
His mouth snaps shut and he stutters, “N-no, but most people who get hit want to file a report. Don’t you?” ^Ugh^ She rolls her eyes and looks down at her leg. ^Ahh dung^ Blood had begun flowing from a break in the skin she hadn't noticed before, and is now staining her white ankles highs.
“Umn, no thanks officer,” She says, looking back at the “boy”. ^Maybe !I! Should be a cop. Set these buggers straight^ “I's just like to get to class. Later!” With that, she takes off down the buisy road, riding the curb close. Another 15 minutes and she's at school. ^Ah, Bay, a mighty fount of knowledge and small town depravity....^ Settling her bike in the rack, she heads off to classes.
Between classes she ignores most other people, greeting only the other Otaku members. ^Not that it's running anymore^ Having changed location the their basement, The Otaku Society has all but secede to exist. The monotony of the day is broken by only a few moments of evil glee as people gaze and wonder at the decent sized bruise and dried blood on her leg. ^Why wipe it off if it can amuse me?^ At the end of the day, she returns to where she left her bike. ^Gat damnit!^ Looking all around, she can't see it anywhere. Her leg throbs, and she curses aloud. “Fudge snakers! Where could it have....?” Her mind drifts to the few people who would have dared incur her wrath. ^John? Samurai? Some jerkwad from the creative writing class? If John took it, god brother or no, he's a dead man. Samurai, god, her dorm is on the other side of the campus! And those asses that don't know a noun from a verb....I'll kill them anyway!^ Her leg throbs again making her scream out, “Snicker balls!” ^God, he's killed my swearing too. Silly brother....If I don't find it soon, it'll be better to walk home...Or maybe I can hitch from Mom....But I can't, she'll want gas money and I'm broke...AUGH!^
++++++++
What to do? How to get off that leg!
WARNING! This game is going to last exactly 26 days! If I don't get responses/voting in time for a new chapter, I will move on without. Just a little note. Sorry if this seems unreasonable, but it's a challange for myself. *Bows* Thank you.
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To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Fri May 20, 2011 9:25 am; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 4:13 am Post subject: |
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| jump on the other leg aal the way home with a stick in hand.
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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I like the character, true to form for her age and quite real-person like. I'm not sure why she would not want to deliver a report but I'm interested to keep trying to sort that out. I was touched by the clever display of family love that you delivered us in the scene with her brother.
You mix other character's dialogues and her thoughts in the same paragraphs a number of times which I find a bit disorienting. I would take thoughts in the same 'rule' vein as dialogue, which is to switch para's when a new person begins commenting (inside OR outside the head). Might help a bit. But I know that means more paragraphs, which you oppose 
I would think her Mother, if she's a Mother worth a damn, would quickly react to help her given she's been hurt, gas money aside. Call her anyways and get some advice if nothing else.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:16 pm Post subject: Polling |
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Now polling, lets see some votes!
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| Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:01 am Post subject: Poll Results |
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How to get home?
Hop home on one leg
0% [ 0 ]
Call for a ride from Mother
100% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 1
Who Voted: Thunderbird
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| Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 4:24 am Post subject: Death Day 12 |
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Death Day 12
With a huge sigh, the girl pulls her cellphone out of the leather holster at her hip. With another hisst of pain, she glares at the wound. ^Damn stupid moronic guys who want horse power, but end up with passenger capacity...^ She flips the phone open and taps out her mother's number. While she waits for an answer, she watches a small band of giggling girls walk by. Several glance in her direction. ^I swear, if you bishes ask about my brother ONE MORE T-^
“Yellow?” The girl glares down at her phone, but is happy for the interruption. Having been about 10 seconds away from chasing the girls off with snarls and snaps.
“Yo, Ma, I got bounced off a minivan this morning. Can I get a ride home? Legs killing me, and bike is...Borrowed...” ^Step one, plead my case....^
The woman at the other end of the phone sighs. “Want me to take you to the hospital?” Her strong voice gives the woman a youthful feel.
“Naw, just a ride home. I'll soak and I'll be fine.” ^Step 2, alleviate worry. SO glad my mother taught me to take care of myself. I miss one day of school, I'd prolly eat my own left foot.^
“Alright, wait by the parking lot.” The girl nods, somehow believing that nods go through phones. The click in her ear tells her 'Mommy's' to the rescue.
^Now, if we can juuuust stay off THAT subject, we're good!^ The wait isn't long. ^At least to one with a Terry Goodkind novel!^ When her mother pulls up in Faith, her 16 passenger van, the girls ears per up first. ^Ah, an Oman vehicle.^ Without looking up, she wander over to the white and teal beast and climbs in the front seat. ^Ugh, Neal.....^ Reaching down, she pulls her seat forward so that her knees are nearly against the dash.
Her mother spots the blood on her leg and says, “I hope it's not still bleeding, otherwise you get to pay for the carpet cleaner. Faith may not be new, but blood isn't something she needs right now.” The girl rolls her eyes and looks at her mother. They're both smiling.
“Yes Mom. Luv you too.” The girl quips. ^As if she really cares about the blood^ They both laugh a little before her mom pulls out of the parking lot. The ride home is laced with light conversation, mostly about coming fishing season. “I wish they'd factor in intention when doing the whole 'Fishing License' thing. But as Bro says, *Intention is an incalculable factor*. Her mother just nods in reply as they pull up to the Half tan, half white 2 story that is their home.
^Mom had SOOOO wanted to be a lil different, so we get a house that looks like a bone with only the bottom half dipped in bleach.^ It's 7pm, and Brother is already clacking away downstairs on his computer when she gets downstairs to their lair. She drops her few school stuffs she usually brings home with her before toddling over to her brother and half collapsing on to his back. The white stick figure nearly collapses upon his keyboard.
“Ugh. Welcome home Sis. Good day?” He asks, his soft voice almost as high as a girl's. She just buries her head in his hair, trying to ignore the fact that she just banged her hurt leg against the trunk in which her brother sits on.
^Stupid black piece of junky crap balls^ When she can breath again, she replies with a, “Duh!” Before plopping down next to him. She nudges him to continue typing, wanting to wait as long as possible before her brother finds out about the injury. She watches him type, smiling at his convo with some of the most oddly named people in his favorite website's chat room. ^Oh dear lord, now he's “serving drink”. Sometimes I swear my bro is waaaay to into this site.^ Then it happens, like it always does.
“Does your leg hurt?” She sighs, watching him reach down to his own left calf.
^Sometimes I wish we weren't so connected. Sometimes I wish I could actually BE the older sibling.^ With a tug he spins her around so both feet are now up on the trunk with them so he can examine the wound. ^All these years, him rushing right past me into a successful career. Into a life long relationship....^ She watches his slim fingers gently probe the cut and surrounding bruise. His worried brows finally relax and he smiles at her, his crimson eyes turned up in mirth.
“It's not to bad, but it need soaking and dressing. To the bath!” His light tone makes her giggle.
^He's not even going to ask how I got it. Jack ass. Show off.....You worry too much.^ She gives him a rough tug off of his seat. “You're coming to dear Brother.”
He giggles as he's almost tossed flat on the ground in his sister's enthusiasm. “Oh, most certainly dear Sister.” The twins, their bodies near complete opposites, tumble up the stairs and into the bathroom. Stripping down, the girl watches her brother set the water temp.
^Knows just how we like it^ The two still don't understand the problem people have with the arrangement, but they can't help but enjoy bathing better when the other is there. ^Why not? Born together, bath together! They’re both 4 letter words^ She giggles at her own funny. Slipping in under the faucet, she waits for her twin to join her. ^So beautiful^ She watches her brother undress, gawking quite openly. Her brother had told her that most opposite gender twins either get so used to seeing each other as kids, or are kept from seeing one another as kids, that they get over their fascinations with the other's body before puberty. ^Not me! My brother is too much of “My ideal guy” to ignore^
When he finally join his sister, she's trying to clean her wound, but pulls back every time her fingers brush across the spot. He chuckles at her and takes over the task. His mass of hair pulled up and twisted so that the water cant get to it, the knob sticks strait up as he leans over her leg to work. ^Almost like a massage...He gives killer massages....^ She just leans back against the still spewing faucet and lets the feeling of the water cascading over her shoulder ease her day's stress.
After the cleaning is finished, the two adult sit in silence, only broken when she reaches over her shoulder to turn off the water before overflow. The constant beating against her back gone, it isn't too long before she shifts around to sit tucked up against her brother's chest. She smiles. ^I can hear his heart^ The slow and steady rhythm makes her happy. ^Means nothing is worrying him. I hate when work stresses him so much that he can't relax....^ His long arms come to wrap around her shoulders. He presses a kiss to her head, smiling as her hair tries to tickle his nose. Content with each other's presence, they sit like this for a long time.
When they finally notice the water cooling, they hop out and dry off. The girl can't help snapping her brother with a towel before scuttling out the door and strait down to the basement. Slipping into her Pjs, she plops down in front of the computer to do some checks on her regular sites. When her brother comes down, he gives her a playful poke in the head ass he passes. ^Brat^ Content that her sites can survive without her for another day, she hops up, gives her brother a quick peck on the lips, and wanders over to the back left corner of the basement. There hemmed in by a dresser and an old fasioned changing curtain, their shared futon lay flat on the ground. ^Well, on a foam mattress and several issues of national geographic^
“G'night Sis!” He calls, his fingers already back at work on his computer.
“Oyasumi, Ototou...” She sighs, falling face first on to the plush futon mattress. ^Ahhhhh, blissful oblivion. Careful to lay on her right side, she soon drifts off to sleep. She wakes only once. The feeling of her brother crawling into bed, having to crawl over her to get to the wall side, jostles her just slightly. She throws a halfhearted protest over her shoulder. He giggles, then throws an arm over her waist. Together, the two drift off into their respective dream lands. The only places that are truly separate in these two's lives.
-Next Morning-
The girl wakes the next morning in excruciating pain. ^Oh god, flying flaming donkey balls!^ She reaches down, clutching at the pain. The small patch of gauze her brother hat slapped on after hopping out of the tub last night is gone. ^God, oh this hurts....^ She stares at the ceiling just below the bathroom upstairs. ^Ugh....I can't let him know about this. He'll stay home....And he needs to work....^
+++++++++++
Oki, how does she hide this? Go to school? Pretend to go to school? Go to the hospital? Any other ideas? I know you guys are creative. You'll think of something 
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| Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 7:56 am Post subject: |
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Try to act as if there is nothing wrong. Just go about the day as usual putting on a grand performance, but rather than leave for the usual destinations, go hide in the backyard until bro leaves for work.
This was a much more clear chapter. Sheesh, these siblings do have some interesting boundary issues, don't they?
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 12:37 pm Post subject: I think..... |
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Thank you for you coments. Much apriciated. *Giggles* I guess most people would see it like that. *Wanders off grinning*
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Andolyn
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| Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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this is very interesting indeed. =) the closeness of these two is odd, yes, but also, the fact that they share that strong a bond is nice.
i'd say she tries to go on about her normal day, but he catches her or something.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 4:28 pm Post subject: Ummm..... |
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Thank you for reading as well. Glad you're liking it. They really are wierd arn't they/
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To Be A Knight
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 4:35 am Post subject: Polling |
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Now polling for the next 23 hours! Come vote while you can!
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| Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 2:47 am Post subject: |
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What's witht he hurt leg?
Act normal, wait outside for Bro to leave
50% [ 1 ]
Act normal, Bro finds out anyway
50% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 2
Who Voted: Andolyn, Thunderbird
Looks like a tie, here we go.....
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| Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 4:53 am Post subject: Death Day 11 |
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Death Day 11
Th girl sits, pitching a silent fit for several minutes. ^Arhg, damn moronic drivers in all their little hurries, nothing THAT important to get to. Jack offs with, AUH, well that hurt....Damn god for nerves....^ With a deep sigh, she finally rolls off the futon and on to her feet. Head held high, she ignores the pain, though it threatens to bring tears to her eyes. ^If I can just get past Bro to the bathroom, I can cover this up, and he'll be none the wiser^ She takes the stairs on all fours, not unusual for her, and props herself up outside the swinging doors to the washroom.
When the doors swing open the girl rushes past mumbling, 'Gotta pee, gotta pee....” in a decent impression of Superfly. She hears her brother chuckle at the joke. Going through the motions, she gets through her morning bathroom routine, hissing in the shower as the piping hot water rushes across the now very tender leg wound. ^God...That's it, I'm staying home...But I can't...^ Her mind wanders down to her over protective brother below her feet. ^No, he can't know^ After a rough towel dry, she throws on one of their super sized bandages before trotting downstairs. She pats her bro's head as she walks past his damp self as he sits in front of his computer, his towel across his lap. Throwing on her loosest pair of sweats and collared t-shirt, she heads right back upstairs to make her dear brother's lunch.
^Going well so far!^ She decides on a traditional lunch, and with a grin, pills out a small brown paper bag. ^Ham samich, 'tato chips, an' a sippy pouch!^ She giggles at the thought of him pulling this lunch out in front of his co-workers. ^Not that he eats with them...^ He leg throbs harshly, distracting her from more depressing thoughts. ^God, ARGH!^ She packs the lunch slowly, giving her some time to straighten her face. When she finishes, she totters carefully downstairs once again. The girl scoops up her bag, and gives her brother a quick kiss on the forehead. He gives her a funny dazed look as the motion makes him look away from the computer screen. “Later Bro!” She chirps in her most cheerful voice.
“Later...” he says, his voice distracted. Out the back door, up the stairs....and a quick right turn. Walking past the bikes leaning against the tree between the houses that would normally whisk her off to a fun day of learning, she settles down with her back against the house to wait. Flanked by a canoe and a crate, she feels sufficiently hidden.
^He'll never suspect a thing!^ She grins at her own cleverness. She watches the new day's sun come slowly over the abandon elementary school across the street to her right. She can't help a little applause as it's bright radiance eradicates all shades of pink from the sky. ^Damn sexist, assigning an entire gender to a color^ After almost 2 hours of sitting and amusing herself by shredding the new spring grass, she hears the back door open. Falling silent, she listens carefully at the sounds of her brother heading off to work. When the last little noise of him vanishes, she feels safe enough to creep out of her hiding place. ^I am to good^
Slipping back inside, she drops her bag heavily on the floor. ^Can't waste a whole day^ Diving inside the bag, she pulls out her most pressing homeworks. Now limping in an almost over exaggerated manner, she shuffles over to the sheet of polished wood the two used as a bed tray, and hobbles over to the bed with it. Getting set up quickly, she sets into her work like a frantic woodpecker. He pencil flies over the paper, the scratching and tapping sounds becoming white noise. She brushes a hair aside as the fan at the end of the bed tosses it across her nose. She's working for less that ten minutes before the back door opens. ^Crap!^ Pulling the covers over her head as she flops down, she listens closely for movement.
The sound of soft, shoe clad feet moves slowly closer and closer. Visions of all rapists, murderers, and her mother flash through her mind. She knows better than to worry about such things, but she can't keep her heart out of her throat as the sound of footsteps stop beside the futon. Her heart hammers in the silence, making her swallow hard. After a few moments, she jumps at the feel of a hand on her covered arm. “If it hurts that bad, you should have told me Sis.” The sound of her brother's light voice relaxes her in an instant. Pulling the covers down just low enough for here eyes to show, she comes face to face with a very sad looking pair of beautiful rubies.
“Sorry Bro....” She mumbles, shifting her eyes away in shame. ^I'm so going to shoot myself later....^ He just sighs in response and begins clearing the papers off the board before propping it against a wall. “I just...didn't want you skipping work! You always wanna stay home when I'm sick, but you can't keep dropping everything just because I'm not feeling well. I mean, you have a JOB! It's not like school where you can keep ditching and expect to still have a place to return to. I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself!” As she peaks she becomes more and more worked up. ^We're both adults, are we not?!^ When she realizes she's taking her frustrations of being caught out in her loving brother, she falls silent and ducks under the covers once again. ^I don't mean that....I love when he sits by my side when I'm ill...Now I feel like a real ass^
She hears nothing for several seconds. Then the click of the overhead light going off. Once again she feels the hand on her shoulder. “Rest up. I'll help you with your homework later.” There is a hint of hurt behind his words, but she is too upset at herself to respond. Without really realizing it, it isn't long before she follows her brother's instructions, and drifts off to sleep.
=========
Hours later she wakes to the feeling of doggie paws on her arm. Peeking up groggily over the covers, she comes face to face with their medium black dog, Ruby. Her cute big black eyes reflect the light from the living area, while her tail fans the air behind her. She sets her head down when she sees the girl's face and gives her the upward angle glance. ^Ugh, so cute^ With a little rawr she scoops the 20lp dog up and tucks it under the covers with her. The cockermutt wriggles in joy at the attention. ^Bro must be home^
As if on cue, said brother pops up over the dresser-wall. “Morning sunshine. Leg feeling better?” His cheerful tone makes her smile.
^Guess he's not still upset. He can never hide when he's in a bad mood^ She nod vigorously. “So, homework time?” He laughs at the eager tone in her voice. Ruby pops out from under the covers. Laying there half covered, she smiles at the twins. They both laugh at her dorky expression. Her brother is swift to set up the bed table and slide in next to her on the mattress Ruby makes a general nuisance of herself as they work their way through all her classes. Only breaking for bathroom and a snack, they soon reach the last subject. Her brother slinks off and she tosses a stuffed rabbit at him. “You still suck at math, huh?” He simply ducks and heads for the computer.
Over the next half hour, she blazes through her math homework. Just as she stuffing the mess back into her bag her brother had dragged over earlier, the back door opens. “Hello?” She grins wide and waits. A muted crash and squeel comes from the direction of the computer. She covers her moth to keep from laughing aloud.
^Even after all these years, he's still a little kid about it. Too cute!^ She listens to the rather non vocal, yet quite noisy, greeting at the back door between her brother and his boyfriend M. He hears some hushed whispering and a single set of feet heading upstairs. After a few shuffling sounds, M comes around the changing screen acting as a wall for one side of the bedroom. His bright red hair rivals her own in length, and his tiny body makes her envious. Still, she's happy to see him. ^The one person in this world I trust, besides myself, to never hurt my brother^ She waggles her arms up and down. “Hug!”
He blushes lightly before meandering over and kneeling beside the bed. When he reaches forward to hug her, she tackles him down on to the mattress with a crushing pull-hug. He yelps as his back makes contact with it's soft surface. “Hello. I heard you were hurt, but I see now that you are recovering quite well.” The light blush on his face makes her all the more envious, but this time of her brother. ^I'll never find one like this. He's so fun!^ She leans down, propped up with a hand on either side of his torso, and grins.
“Yes. I am under the masterful care of my dear older brother. There is no wonder I am recovering quickly.” His light blue eyes shift away as she teases him by picking up his speech pattern. ^I hope they stay this way forever^ She leans in for another quick hug to let him know no harm meant before letting him up. He sits up, leaning so that their backs are half against each others. They talk quietly for a time as clanking and curses float down the stairs from my brother as he makes dinner. Finally, Brother comes down with spaghetti piled high on 3 plates. After handing two plates to their respective owners, he props himself up against the dresser-wall. “Itadekimasu!” They all say, before digging in.
The meal is filled with subdued inconsequential blather. When the meal is over, the two boys head upstairs to clean the dinner dishes. Afterward, they come back down, and once again, her brother takes up post before the computer. M comes back over to her on the bed and they speak some more. About her classes, and his. About his worries over this class or that class. ^Like Brother wouldn't make sure he's keeping up with them^ After a time, she notices his restlessness. She grins. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she rests her head on his shoulder. “You two use the couch tonight. I get the bed.” The blush spreads all the way to his ears at her words. Too embarrassed to talk, he just nods.
As he moves off towards a fun night with her brother, she rolls over to face the wall. ^They take forever to get started^ Exhausted from the ever present pain in her lag, she swiftly returns to her dream land. At about 2 AM she wakes for a few minutes so her brother can tuck M into bed behind her. She cuddles backwards against the red head's warmth before falling back to sleep.
======
The next morning, the smell of bacon and eggs rousts her from sleep early. Popping to her feet, she notes that her leg throbs only slightly. “Kool.” She mutters out loud. Wandering over past the computer and fireplace, she makes her way upstairs. ^This means I can go out today! I wonder what Pockey's up to...Or if the library has any new books....Sigh, there isn't much to do in this small hunting town...^ She comes upstairs to find her Mother, Brother and M all at the table. A quick glance at the stove confirms that they'd left her her portion. She receives general greeting as she wanders past to the bathroom. Sitting at her morning constitutional, she wonders what to do this fine weekend morning.
+++++++
Kinda open. What's she going to do for Saturday? It's a small town, but I'm sure you guys will come up with something fun!
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Andolyn
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| Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:52 am Post subject: |
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| i'd say go check out the new books & head to the woods for some relaxed reading time. =)
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 11:31 am Post subject: Ummm..... |
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Thank you so much for reading. Great suggestion!
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 12:14 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Together, the two drift off into their respective dream lands. The only places that are truly separate in these two's lives. |
He-he, this line would have been even better if it had read: "Even in their dreams they were together."
This story is so realistic, I love it! It feels very genuine, and I believe that is because you are sharing part of your life with us.
The relationship between brother and sister is at once revealing and tender. They are truly endearing.
However, I feel this story lacks some plot/excitement. The DP is the perfect opportunity to change that. I say that sis should apply for a job as a cocktail bartender. She can learn from her Bro, who is always serving drinks online.
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Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 3:57 am Post subject: Polling |
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Poll is up! Let's see some voting!
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, caught up here Pope... hmm, polling already?
I pretty much have the same thing D had to say on this one. Tender and sweet but lacking in plot and complication so far. I was getting the impression you were sharing some of your family dynamics as well.
You took some of the advice on the thoughts v dialogue in a para I think and that helped a lot. This was a more clear chapter than usual and that may have had an effect on that.
Well, no need to think much on this tough DP - I'll just go vote
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 1:53 pm Post subject: Ummmmsssss...... |
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*Bows* I would like to appologize to my few loyal readers. I spent all day sick in bed, so the chapter that should have been up this morning is going to be delayed until 6-7 am tomorrow morning. I'm so sorry. *Bows* I hope you enjoyed the extra voting time!
NOTE: We have a tie here. A tie breaker would be appreciated!
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| Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 3:17 am Post subject: |
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What to do on her day off?
Apply for a job as a cocktail bartender
50% [ 2 ]
Grab a book from the library, then off to the woods to read it
50% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Andolyn, Chinaren, D-Lotus, Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 5:34 am Post subject: Death Day 10 |
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Death Day 10
Finishing up on the pot, she does a rather audible streth-yawn-shake-augh before coughing and heading to the kitchen. Bro giggles and M smiles when she enters. Mom had already left for work during her time in the bathroom. ^Be safe Ma. Don't let any of those oldsters go all psycho on you when you drop off their meals.^ The girl remembers a few times she's visited the old people's homes with her mother on her work route. Being the only other living being these people see for some of them, Mom tends to get trapped for quite some time by the more lonely ones. “So, you two have a good night?” The girl asks with a naughty grin and brow waggle.
M ducks his head, turning pink, while her bro replies, “Yes yes, but don't go digging for details you hentai.” She rolls her eyes. True, more than once she'd caught herself struggling not to peek, but the Yaoi fan in her was something she'd learned to deny over the years for her bother's sake.
^I still wanna see M's face when.......^ Her minds take a through trip down the gutter all through breakfast. After a meal spent with a far away grin on her face, the girl waves good-bye to her bro and M, snatching a kiss from the two hansom men, before trundling downstairs, dressing, and rocketing out the back door. ^Ugh, need some mental stimulation here!^ Hopping on her dark purple 12 speed, she takes off top speed for the local library. As she pulls on to main past the junior high across the street from the house, she checks the time on her phone. ^Let's see if I can break 2 minutes^ She does a mental count down for the last 10 seconds, preparing for a one person race. Her previous record of 2 minutes 13 seconds calls to her to be broken. ^3...2...1..GO!^ With a whoop, she's off.
14 blocks, 10 stoplights, a taxidermist's, a coffee shop, and a chiropractor's later, the girl skids to a halt outside the combined library and courthouse, stopping to quickly so she tumbles off into the grass out front of the building. Landing on her side, she rolls, finishing on her back, phone in hand. ^2 minutes 5 seconds, YES!^ She giggles madly to herself, causing some passersby to stare and pull their children away. After getting hold of her mirth, she hops up, and wanders over to her misused bike. Hopping aboard, she coasts it down hill to the back entrance, which is the library's front entrance, and straps the Roadster to the bike rack.
Through sliding doors, a left turn, then through doors straight out of a high school auditorium, she enters one of her favorite safe havens in this close minded town. The new releases in front of her to the right, the check out desk just off to the left around the corner, and everywhere else, books. Page after page, world after world, she had read most of them. She had surpassed her brother around age 10, and he's never been able to catch up since. ^At least he's still trying^ Her mind wanders over their more illiterate siblings, and she can't hold back a huge pitying sigh. ^Neal's be reduced to car magazines for goodness sake^ Clapping her hands over hear ears, she heads through the anti theft walls. The high pitched whine they emit coming through her thick hands, but just barely.
Making her usual trek through the children'ss sections, smattered with toy, meandering through the young adults, to the informational texts, andfinallyy to the adult fictions. The light from the wall sized windows along side these shelves shed their warm orange and yellows on to the multi-colored book covers. Walking past her favorite authors, Asimov, Goodkind, Feist, she wanders into the mystery section. Wasting no time, she snatches up one of the thicker volumes she knows she hasn't read, and scuttles over to the desk. ^I am the most indiscriminate reader I know^ She smiles at the librarians behind the desk. Some she's known for many many years, other just recently hired. ^Wish I could get a job here^ Her mind wanders over the job idea as she hands over her library card.
Her eyes wander with her mind, and her gaze lands on the 'Job Finders' local free newspaper at the end of the desk. ^What the hey^ Slipping her card back into her black leather wallet, she scoops up her book and wanders over to the paper. With a shrug, she snatches up a copy before heading for the door. She grits her teeth through the anti theft walls, and wanders over to the lost-and-found. Pawing through, she comes across a ball cap. ^Hello^ With shifty eyes, she tucks the prize away into her plastic library bag before slipping outside. ^Score^ Hopping on her bike, she takes off down the back road towards Hunter's Marsh. Off to her right, several abandoned coal ships sit up on giant stands only a hundred yards from one of the great lakes. ^Perhaps I'll hit the beach tomorrow^ The large red hulking masses vanish from view as she continues on her hour long bike ride to one of her favorite reading places.
She soon passes out of civilization and on to a road lined with driveways that vanish off into darkened woods. Passing the only “corner store” in the area, she takes a right down a side road. Skidding, she turns off it after a couple hundred yards on to a half hidden deer trail. ^I love this smell^ Branches smack tug at her body and clothes, making her grin when she doesn't have to duck under the more low hanging branches. ^I love being short!^ She soon comes to he reading spot. A large clearing opens before her. The gap in the trees above letting in a shaft of light, landing almost perfectly on a 10 foot wide, 5 foot tall stump in the center of the clearing. Swinging a leg over her bike so she's standing on one side, she coasts to the stump and dismounts. Propping it up, she surveys the area before turning to the stump itself. “Hello old friend.” She murmurs to the ancient hunk of wood.
After a few seconds of practiced scrabbling she lays out on her stomach with a huge sigh. Pulling out her new book, she begins on some serious reading. The words begin floating around her head. People and places that she'll never see spring up before her eyes. Adventures and mysteries she'd kill to be a part of pass by her mind, unheeding of the lone girl's calls. As always, when she begins reading, she no longer exists. From mind to mind, she travels as the characters. Through their trials and sorrows, she is as them, and the girl on the stump becomes little more than a faded memory. 8 hours and 1,433 pages later, she snaps the book shut and rolls on to her back, a huge grin in place.
“I knew it was her!” She says aloud. She talks to the trees and animals all around her, telling them or murder, police, firefighters, and the last minute desperate acts of the book's hero. As always, there is no response, but that's fine with her. ^Better no response than bad response. Or worse, interruptions!^ She giggles. She sits up and tugs the library bag to her, sliding the newest edition to her repertoire inside, she spots the paper. With a sigh, she pulls it out. In the days fading light, she makes a mental checklist of places to stop by on the way home. ^Bartender sounds fun^ Sliding off the stump, she decides to walk her bike out. ^I hate twilight. If it light I can see. If it's dark I can see. This half light kills^ When she reaches the road, it's off towards the first stop.
^2 Waitressing, 1 janitorial, 3 fast foods, and now...^ She pulls up outside Ernie's Irish Pub, propping her bike against the side wall. Having passed this bar for many years, she'd never quite had a reason to enter it. Her watering hole was further down the street. Slipping inside, she first takes note of the smoke. ^Bleck^ She sticks out her tongue, but having a life long smoker for a mom, she soon gets over it. It's late, so most of the bar's residents are leaning past tipsy on to drunk. Swatting away a few hands, she sidles up to the counter. The guy behind the bar is wiping down a glass, watching the B-ball game on the overhead TV. “Yo!” She calls, making his head whip around.
He walks over, leaning in so he doesn't have to yell to be heard over the raucous noise coming from the other B-ball fans in the room. “May I help you?” He asks, his face framed by brown shoulder length hair.
^He's gotta be...early twenties. I may have a chance here!^ She nods, “Yeh, I'd like an application.” He looks her up and down, pulling a smart ass grin on to her face. He stares for a few seconds before shrugging. Reaching under the bar, he hands over an app. “Thanks.” She struggles her way up on to a bar stool and begins filling out the standard sheet of “employee seeking” info before turning it over. The back is much more interesting. The questions range from 'how is this drink mixed' to 'what do you think this job entails'. She grins. ^Thank you grandma!^ Her grandmother enjoys telling stories of her youth, which includes teaching her grand kids the showman's way of mixing drinks. She finishes filling out the form, and handing it back. The guy behind the bar ignores the first side and immediately flips to the back.
With a smile, she decides to wait around to see his reaction. He wanders towards the garbage can absently. Then stops, brows furrowed. She watches his lips move as he reads, his eyes slowly widening. Finally, he reaches the bottom of the application, his head coming around to look over at her. Their eyes lock, and she gives him a cocky grin. He shuffles back over, stopping a couple times to hand out re-fills. When he reaches the bar opposite her, he leans in again. “I'll be in contact.” Is all he says, a slight sheepish tone in his voice. She nods, still grinning, before hopping down off the stool, and jetting out the door. As soon as she exists, she mumbles a “Sexist pig,” before busting down into mad giggles. Fortunately, no one's around at this late hour to wonder about the poor girl's sanity.
^If I was nuts, my Bro would have spotted it after all^ With that, she hops back on to her bike. After a few seconds riding, she has a thought that stops her dead. ^Who in the world returned my bike?!^ Having it vanish days before, she goes over the possibilities. Shaking off the weirdness, she settles for, ^Whoever it is don't matter. It's back, and I will slay whoever took it.^ With that, she bikes the last 2 blocks home. After a little fancy biking through the ex-elementary school's sports field, she does a little bike jump up the curb and stops at her front sidewalk. Walking the bike round back, she tromps down the back steps and into her and her brother's cave. Well after sun down, the lights are off, but she can hear sounds of life. She knows her brother most likely heard the back door. ^I'll wait^ Heading upstairs, she pulls out a pot from the kitchen supplies and begins whipping up a packet of pork Ramen. ^My favorite^
Her stomach grumbles, having been ignored most of the day. Flipping on the kitchen radio, she scans over to Mix 106 and start rocking out to Metallica's Master of Puppets as she cooks. After another song or 2 the meal is ready. “Itadekimasu.” She chirps before starting in. Using chopsticks, she downs the bowel in less time than it took to cook. As she's washing her dishes afterwords, her brother comes up. Blushing only slightly, he grins. Slipping behind her as she continues scrubbing, he wraps his arms around her middle.
With a kiss to the top of her head he whispers, “Thank you Sis.” She simply nods in return. He stands there holding her until she finishes. She turns around within the circle of his arms and reaches up to hug him hard.
“Never a problem Bro...” She whispers back. With a swift kiss, they wander down stairs. After a quick change into a night shirt, she settles in behind M on the futon. Half asleep, he snuggles back against her while her brother climbs in behind her. ^Hot guy sandwich^ She can't stop a grin from creeping on to her face at the thought. Still smiling, the exhaustion of the day takes over, and the girl swiftly drops off to sleep, clutching her brother's hand in her own.
===========
The next morning, the girl wakes first. ^Waaaaaarm^ Happy where she is, it takes a loud roar from her middle to roust her out of her half sleep. ^Augh^ Wriggling carefully, she manages to get out of bed without waking the men. With heavy feet, she plods upstairs. ^Mom's not up yet....so I guess I'm breakfast girl today^ With a sigh, she does her morning bathroom stuffs before coming out and looking around the kitchen. ^What the hell, I'll go all out!^ Using 12 eggs, half a block of Velveeta, a box of sausage, and half a box of pancake mix, the girl makes a monstrous breakfast for four. The rest of the family slowly wanders in, offing praise and gratitude. She accepts it with “Yes yes, I know I'm da bomb. No need to bow, for I am a kind god.” Her mother throws her a disapproving look at the last statement.
Dousing her entire plate in maple syrup, her mind wanders. ^What to do today. It'll prolly be hot, and I'm positive that guys going to call about the job...^ She absentmindedly chews on her fork.
+++++++++++++++
Sorry that the DP ended up being the same as the last one, but not much happens on weekends here. *Bows low* I am sooo sorry. It's Sunday, what's to be done? And, just as a side question, do you think you should get the job? Thanks for reading!!!
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 8:53 am Post subject: Ummmmnnnn........ |
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18 hours til poll goes up! 18 hours!
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm, I had forgotten she is short. Does she reach the bar to serve drinks? Maybe she can't get the job.
But who cares, much better to... sign up for a hot air baloon class! The instructor is a bit of a shady guy, though.
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Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sun May 29, 2011 2:16 am Post subject: Polling |
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Now Polling! You guys really wanna stretch me here don'tcha?
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:13 am Post subject: Shift |
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Hey. I'ma shift this around so I can work on it a 6PM, a.k.a., after work. SO, enjoy an extra 12 hours of voting! New chapter at 6-7PM tonight!
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 2:06 pm Post subject: Poll Results |
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Sunday, what to do?
Sign up for a hot air baloon class with shady instuctor
100% [ 2 ]
Spend all day online
0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 2
Who Voted: D-Lotus, Thunderbird
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| Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 3:37 pm Post subject: Death Day 9 |
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Death Day 9
“Ouch!” The girl yelps as she bites down too hard on her fork. Three sets of eyes fall on her, which she tries to ignore. ^Okay, no need to be more of a dork than usual here^ Her mother gets up and walks over to the kitchen radio. There is a collective silent sigh as she switches it over to the local christian station. ^Don't mind it that much, but she tries to keep it on ALL THE TIME!^ Hopping up with an “I'm off!” She gives M a quick hug before bouncing over to her brother. After a quick squeeze, she turns to go, but finds herself trapped in a bear hug.
“Let me check out your leg?” Her bro whispers in her ear. She rolls her eyes and whines. He refuses to let go until she nods. The two head downstairs, and over to one of the may chairs littering the area. He carefully examines the yellowing bruise while she contemplates what she wants to wear for the day. When he stands up with a “Looks good.” the girl follows him up with a punch to the arm.
“Duh! Nothing can ever really harm be, baka....” she chirps before sliding over to the hanging clothes. ^Should wear something half way nice, in case he calls.....^ She decides on a collared button up, with half mast sleeves, and her only pair of nice blue jeans. Topping it off with her Duo cos-play hat, she waves at M as he comes down the stairs and flies out the back door. Hopping on to her bike, she picks a random direction and begins peddling. Looping around, back and forth, she adds a few pages to her mental map of the town. Crossing main street at least twice, she ends up on south side when her phone goes off.
Skidding to a halt, she slides the device out of it leather holster and flips it open. “This is my phone!” She stands almost completely still, one leg on the ground as the person on the other speaks. “Yush, mhm, yeh, ok. Be there in ten.” As she snaps the phone shut, an evil grin finds it's way to her lips. ^Well, didn’t he sound desperate. I better hurry^ She chuckles, then with an exhilarated feeling, takes off full speed for the pub. Pulling up to the stop sign next to the bar, she leans her bike against it, strapping it in with a curly bike chain. After turning the 4 number diles, she spins around. Reaching up, she tugs her hair back in a vain attempt to look presentable.
The noise inside the joint is much more subdued at this early hour, giving the girl her chance to locate the kitchen by sound. Behind the bar stands the tender from last night, and an older man. The man motions her into the back. After almost an hour of discussion, he reaches across his desk and shakes her hand. “You'll be able to start tomorrow night I hope?” he inquires as she turns to leave.
“Yes sir. 7PM sharp!” Giddy and slightly overwhelmed, the girl decides to settle herself down at the beach before heading home to tell the family. Past the House of Ludington. Past Ludington Lighthouse, as well as several other historical sites, the lake comes into view. ^Ahhh, so beautiful, and sweet.^ The Great Lake stretches to the horizon off to her left, giving it an oceanic feel. The breeze is coming off the lake, bringing with it the fresh water, and slightly fishy smell it always has. ^Save for after a heavy rain. Than all there is, is the smell of new life^
Lost in thought, she arrives at the blue bridge without noticing. She slowly coasts to a stop, looking out over the water. ^Here is good^ She props up her bike against the stone bridge's wall and climbs atop said wall. Not fifteen feet bellow the lake water laps gently against the stones lining this side of the shore. ^Best place for pan fish^ she muses. Her mind wanders over all the fun she's had here, in this small town, growing up a free spirited girl. Spending only half her life here, the other half in Minnesota, the memories seem fragmented.
Nights spent on this very bridge, either star gazing, or storm watching. The darkest place in town, many a night you can find future astrologers and astronauts splayed out in soft grass or cool sand, their eyes turned to the heavens. Or on more turbulent nights, storm chasers and tornado hoppers, daring each other to take more and more risks in an attempt to get a good thrill. Sit in the top of a supple tree during a strong wind storm! Stand on the bridge wall during a fierce lighting storm! Go down to the end of the floating docks without holding on to anything. The girl chuckles. Her and her god brother had dubbed the activity “dock surfing”. Holding her hands up, she watches the sun through her fingers. He brother has continually warned her about looking at the sun, but there is something about it at times like this that won't let her look away.
Suddenly, she spots something that almost knocks her off the bridge. ^What in the nine hells?!^ A large green and gray hot air balloon drifts past. Between her and the sun, it almost seems to glow. ^Well, what in all the foreign halls is that doing there?!^ Jumping up, she scans the shore. Spotting a large group of people and colorful signs, she locks on her target. ^Bingo^ In a flash, she's on her wheels and is rocketing down the road towards all the commotion. In less than a minute, she pulls up to a large banner reading, *Hot air balloon lessons, free this week from Terry's Tempests!!!* She grins wide. ^I could go fer some of those!^ Hopping off, she doesn't bother to lock up her bike. She runs over to the sign-up table and fills out one of the applications.
She watches as the balloon comes in for a landing. Many of the girls around her giggle and squee as a relatively attractive(In her personal opinion) jumps out of the basket before opening the door for his student. ^Man a lot of girls are here. Silly fangirls....^ The girl steps out of the basket, blushing and giggling. One of, what she assumes are attendants, comes over and picks up the stack of applications. The instructor reaches over, and without looking, picks one. The girl can almost taste the tension. ^Ugh, I'm going to die from fan girl overload........^ When she hears her name called, she claps her hands over her ears. The deafening whines and sobs die down eventually, letting her uncover them.
She can feel her heckles rise as she gets closer. ^I don't like this feeling^ Second guessing herself, the girl more thoroughly examines the instructor. Tall, short stylish brown hair, white smile, casually open shirt. ^I don't like him^ Half of her mind is screaming to go back, but the other half is urging her on. After all, how often does the chance to fly for free come up? Really? As she steps into the basket, he makes the decision for her. The second she feels a hand on her backside, she whips around and lands a punch square against the left side of his jaw. ^Ow ow ow, thaaat hurt^ Not the strongest person in the world, he manages to keep his feet.
“What the hell?!” He screams. Using her god given accuracy, she fires a loogie straight into his left eye before striding away.
A long string of curses and damnations run through her mind as she gets on her abandoned bike. ^Gat dang, mother son of a peach kit flaming donkey balls of dung!^ It's a full 5 minutes before she calms down enough to think. ^No one lays a hand on me unless I want them to...^ A sudden throb in her wrist calls her attention to the fact that using her hand right now may not be the best of ideas. She looks it over. Unable to find any blood, she uses her other hand to pull her injured hand backwards. A scream tears out of her before she can stifle it. ^ARGH!^ Her eyes prickle with unshed tears, and she begins licking the tender area. She sniffs. ^I need a drink...^
+++++++++++
What to do? She's hurt, but we don't know how bad, she wants to get drunk, and she's a good 15 minute bike ride from home. Bar? Friend's house? Hospital? Other? What cha think?
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 2:27 pm Post subject: Ummmmnnnn........ |
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Hmmmmmmmmmm...........So NO sugestions? Well, I'm too brain dead atm to come up with a chapter today, so I guess I'll let it go another day..I'm sorry if the last chapter suxed, but I would like a few suggestions........Thnx fer reading...
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Andolyn
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| Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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sorry pope! Rurouni Kenshin ate my reading time this last week, but i finished the manga series now, so i'm back! haha
i liked these chapters. =) i'd say since they have that connection, brother knows we're hurt. perhaps he comes looking for us & finds us wandering around with no real direction?
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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This one slipped past my radar apparently... Sorry for that P.
Well, this gal sure gets hurt a lot I think at this point she needs a friend's shoulder to cry on, and said friend would surely be able to offer her a drink as well?
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 2:33 pm Post subject: Polling |
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Now polling, come and vote!!!!!!!!! How will she heal after this one?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:38 am Post subject: |
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Hey there Popes, sorry to be harsh but...
You have one day to post a new chapter, or it shall be moved to the snail area.
Thank your for your speedy attention. 
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:50 am Post subject: |
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Sorry. I'll have it up in an hour or so. I need to read yer chappy first 
Where to heal?
Go to friend's house for a drink
50% [ 2 ]
Go out with a friend for a drink
25% [ 1 ]
Wander around until Bro finds her
25% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Andolyn, Chinaren, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:18 am Post subject: Death Day 8 |
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Death Day 8
With a few selfish, and fake, sobs and sniffles, the girl starts riding. ^I know Bro's gonna be on me like there's no tomorrow, if I don't get moving...God I want a drink, but no more sleazes for me today...^ With a huge sigh, she takes off towards the collage. A good 2 mile ride, she lets her mind wander to all the things she'd like to do to that balloon guy if she ever got him alone. ^Castration is too good for him...Perhaps one of those Chinese tortures...paper cuts or water drips....^ She giggles darkly to herself at the vision of him writhing in pain. Her visions take her as far as the abandoned fair grounds.
She slows to look over the makeshift animal barns and bright shiny open music theater. ^Didn't we just have the Fun Run here the other day? I swear I could hear all those old songs from my house....The old cars were cool though. Heh, I can't believe I got to see an old paddy wagon passing through the alley^ She harrumphs, remembering how the fair itself has gotten smaller since it's no longer the “State Fair”. ^And now I need to save up a TON to get my own booth, Ugh....^ Her mind wanders over her booth ideas as she passes on to the highway itself when the sidewalk is replaces with front lawns. Looking ahead, she slows once again. ^Alright, 5 cars, and a red light.....4....3....2....1....NOW!^
Standing on her peddles, she kicks her bike into high gear. The way to the collage on this road requires going down the highway under a train bridge, giving only enough room for cars to pass under. The red light about a block past the far end is the only break in the traffic, even at this hour. As the last car passes, her legs bust into action. The downhill gives he a little leeway, but the sharp uphill on the other side can be deadly. ^Yes yes yes! I rule!^ The wind whistles through her hair, making her tear up. The rush is almost enough to make her risk going all the way to the next driveway, but headlights over the top of the hill brings her rational firmly back into place.
Throwing her right leg over the back tire so she's now standing on a single peddle, she squeezes her breaks gently, but in their brand new state, the bike come to a near halt in less than a second. Before the bike come s to a complete stop, she hops of on to the side of the road into the high grass, yanking her bike up behind her just in time to save it from being the new front grill of an SUV. ^Prick. Needs to look where he's going...^ After a couple minutes walking up the rest of the hill, she reaches the first driveway this side of the bridge. Hopping back onto her bike, she makes her way the rest of the way to the collage without much problem.
Dropping the bike outside the dorms, she takes her uninjured fist to her friend Pockey's outside door. When the girl opens up, she looks the intruder up and down before stating, “Well, you look like hell. Need a drink?”
The invader smiles. “You always know what I need, huh?” Pockey just rolls her eyes. The two girls spend the night ragging on guys in general, playing odd drinking games. When the sun finally spills through the slated shades of the dorm's windows, it finds the two robust girls sprawled out on the floor. ^Ugh....Sun sun, go away, I have got a hangover today, come again....never^ To pained in the head to come up with a better rhyme, the girl rolls over and inadvertently kicks her friend. The muffled objection to being poked in the head causes the girl to giggle. With a final push, she manages to rock herself to an all fours position. The throb in her hand makes her wince, reminding her to call her Bro later to assure she's alright.
Reaching out with a foot, she pokes her friend repeatedly until she wakes fully. “Come, my half dead friend, we must be again living for The Man demands it.” The quip pulls a laugh from Pockey's prone figure. ^Yes, it's all The Man's fault. If only woman ruled the earth, and we kept men as play things. We could trade them like Yu-Gi-Oh or Magic cards. Heheheh^ Sticking her tongue out at her own silent joke, she stumbles to the bathroom. Commandeering the shower first, when her friend comes in to use the facilities, Pockey makes sure to flush. The resounding yelp, followed by a sting of creative curses follow her out the door. ^Ugh, now I hurt in two places....can I be more of an idiot? I don't think so...Bro's gonna kill me^
With that last happy thought, she exits the shower, rubbing herself down before wrapping the towel around herself and exiting the small, crusty, ancient looking bathroom. Smacking Pockey one goo, she begins ruffling through the other girl's drawers, looking for something small enough for her. ^She has so got me beaten in the rack department, so non of these bras will work. Perhaps I can just wear my own, and use some smell good stuff. Bleh, I hate perfume, but I hate being without a bra more^ Picking out a loose black T with a pot leaf, and some dark slacks, she drops the towel and begins dressing. Sounds of Pockey singing in the shower bring a smile to the girl's lips. ^I must say, she can sing. Then again, the bathroom has great acoustics^
Scooting up to the door when she's fully clothed, she shouts though the wood, “Hey, I've got an early class today, I'll be heading out now! Later!” The muffled grunt of response makes the girl giggle. ^Good to know I'm not the only one feeling last night^ Heading out the door, she takes the shortcut through the school to get to her class on the other side rather than going around. Slipping into her seat, she waits for the teacher. The banter of the other students bounce off of her like rain on a freshly waxed car. ^I'm positive I'm the only person at this school who actually LIKES these classes...Cept maybe M. I should talk to him today. Let him break it to bro before I go home.....Or, I could avoid it all together, for today at least and stay at Pockey's again...^ The teacher comes in, calling attention with a quick shout of, “Pop Quiz”
While all the other students groan, the girl sits up straighter. ^I love these!^ Reaching back with her left hand, she pulls out her ever present emergency writing kit from her back pocket. As she goes to pull out a pencil, she lets out a gasp of pain. ^Oh, oh oh, this is not good!^ Having spent the whole morning favoring her right hand, she just now realizes that her fingers don't seem to want to move without excruciating pain throbbing from tips all the way up her arm. ^Garf dang it!^ Gritting her teeth, she makes it through the day, using her hand as little as possible. Forgetting all about M, she get's out of school around 4 PM and heads to Pockey's to get her bike. ^Ugh, what now? I feel like getting drink again, but this could be serious...and if Bro don't see me soon, he's going to go ape shit....^
***********
Oh dear, she does seem to get hurt a lot....Well, time to deal! Now what!?
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Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:29 am; edited 1 time in total
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 5:18 am Post subject: |
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Head back to Pockey's house, but at least get a message to her bro, to say where she is. I want to hear a little more about Pockey and the friendship between the two girls.
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
 
 
  
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Andolyn
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| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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| i'm with Tika. back to Pocky's but get bro a message for sure. =)
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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I agree it would've been nice to see a little more of the relationship between them in that, though what you did show us was entertaining.
I'm starting to get a feel for her consistent injuries. Perhaps they are warning her of what is to come. But then, we'll see how that all plays out.
I think she just needs a drink at the moment and a good hand massage. Perhaps she should just go down to the bar and let them know what's happened to her (asking for some delay in starting her job perhaps) and get a drink.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 12:31 am Post subject: Polling |
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Now we are polling!!!! Please vote!!!!
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:48 am Post subject: Poll |
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Soooooooo, one vote, eh?
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Chinaren
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:52 am Post subject: |
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Popey, I'll give you one more day* to post another chapter, then it shall be moved to the area with all the slow stories I'm afraid.
*'Cos I'm kind like that.
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Chinaren
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:07 pm Post subject: Poll Results |
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How to deal tonight?
Spend night at Pockey's (Don't go to work)
25% [ 1 ]
Spend night at Pockey's (Do go to work)
0% [ 0 ]
Go to Bar and ask for a day to recover, stay for a drink
75% [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Andolyn, Chinaren, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon
*Bows low* Sooooo sorry! RL issues. I'll get on this right away!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 4:31 am Post subject: Death Day 7 |
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Death Day 7
Not wanting to impose on Pockey two nights in a row, when the girl reaches her bike, she takes off down the highway. ^Ugh. I hate my life...^ A twinge in her hand reminds her of something that stops her dead. ^I have work tonight^ There, on the side of a busy road, she begins banging her head on her handlebars. “I.am.a.moron. I.am.a.moron.” she says as a mantra, her head smacking the cool steel with each word. After a minute straight of self flagellation, she sits back up. Taking a deep breath, she starts off again. ^Maybe I can get a day leeway. Family emergency....No, I want to drink. I know!^ A wicked smile creeps slowly across her face, and her legs pump harder. Flying under the railroad bridge, she doesn't even stop to check for cars. Luckily, fate takes pity on the poor girl and none come as she speeds recklessly along.
Taking the back rout to the bar, she jets right past her home, hardly sparing it a glance. ^I'll prove I can do it. No matter what, I can be a contributing member of society. I'll prove them all wrong^ Her mind wanders over all the times she's been told to “Get a life”. Siblings, aunts, uncles, grand parents, all of them. The only people who've ever given her full confidence are her Bro, his boyfriend, and the few good friends she's managed to accumulate over the years. ^They just don't get it. I'm doing with my life what I need to reach my goal. So what if they think it's a waste! Bro supports me, so who else matters....But the extra money won't hurt^ With that thought, she pulls to a skidding halt behind her new work place.
The smell of the nearby dumpster as well as the accumulated filth around it doesn't even register in her haste. Locking her bike to a water pipe in the bushes against the back of the building, she slips around to the front of the brightly lit Pub. She has to remind herself to use her left hand as she reaches for the pull handle. Making her way past the drunks and other bar patrons, she weaves her way back to the manager's office. After a brief chat, she re-emerges with a smile. ^I rule. I am the best. All bow before me!^ Slipping into a bar stool, she watches the manager come out of the back. She feels a small tingle as well as a little pity as she watches him inform the current bartender of the situation. He hangs his head as the manager disappears off into his office. It takes a few minutes for him to take care of a few orders, but as soon as all orders are out, he stalks over to the girl with murder in his eyes.“So. He tells me you feel a little rusty and would like a night to observe before jumping right in, huh?” the young man says through gritted teeth.
Ducking her head in apology, she replies, “I'm real sorry. He set you on a double shift didn't he?”
He nods, turning to deal with a customer before looking back at her with a glare. “There's no way your feeling any rust. I read that app, you're more then ready, so what gives? You trying to...” His voice trails off as she lifts her hand and pulls up her sleeve a bit, revealing a nasty shade of purple gray blossoming around her wrist. His eyes widen, but before he can respond he has to go to the other side of the bar to fill an order. Pulling her sleeve back down, she watches with a smile as he puts on a big show with the bottles an tumblers for a group of twenty some girls. They giggle and laugh at the display, clapping when he finishes. Settling their drinks before the right girls, he takes a slight bow, a bright sparkling grin firmly in place, before wandering back over to the girl. His look of anger has been replaced with one of worry. “What happened, if you don't mind me asking.” He whispers, the venom in his voice replaced with a concerned whine.
She rolls her eyes. Leaning in she says in a conspiratorial whisper, “Just some prick at the park touching something he shouldn't have. I don't think he'll be showing his pretty face in public for a while.” She lets out a small evil chuckle at the bug eyed look on the tenders face. After a few stunned seconds, he busts into an honest smile.
“Remind me not to ~ever piss you off, ok?” She just smiles and nod in reply.
For some time after the little chat, she just watches the man work. ^Like a good girl^. A few of the waitresses stop by from time to time, trying to start a conversation with the girl. She simply nods and smiles until they take the hint. ^Not here to make friends ladies. Just here to work. But...^ She watches as the manager emerges once again,t his time to tell everyone he's off for the night. As soon as he slips out the front door, she punches a fist into the air. ^But not tonight!^ Waving for the tender, she grins to herself. ^Time for some self medicating^ She order several drinks, and when he gives her a look, she just points at where the manager vanished. Shaking his head, he begins mixing her orders. “Don't bother with the show. I'm good.” He nods and hands her the first drink.
Several drinks, and many hours later, she stumbles out of the bar. ^2 am, and where to go?^ She checks her phone. ^Ugh. 20 missed calls...I knew he'd lose it^ She shakes her head, a feeling of guilt rising in her throat. She wanders around behind the bar and looks at her bike. “I am SO not safe to drive.” She mutter, giggling at her own joke. Turning instead to the road leading home, she begins walking. After a few blocks, she spots someone on a collision course with her. They meet at a corner, and she realizes that it's a man, and by the smell of him, just as drunk as she is. Watching him stumble past, her eyes widen. Reaching out, she grabs the back of his coat just in time to pull him back up on the curb as a florescent green hot-rod flies past. ^Well, that was close. And this is a drunken fool^ She help him to his feet, and he thanks her profusely. Concerned about reading of his spattered corpse on the back streets of this little town, she offers to walk him home. A small grunt and an arm over her shoulder is the only reply she gets.
It takes about 15 minutes to walk the man home, passing the street leading to her own house along the way. Helping him inside, she spots something that completely grabs her full attention. In his small 20ft by 15ft apartment, a full wall sees to be dedicated to games. She bounces around, look at one after another. The man, regaining some lucidity, strikes up a conversation with her as she asks what game after game is like. After some time of nonsensical game babble, she turns to find him standing in the middle of the living room. His shirt and shoes have miraculously vanished, leaving him in just a pair of ragged jeans. ^When did that happen?^ she wonders vaguely. A feeling of unease slips into her stomach, but she pays it no heed. Looking around at the messy floor, she says, “You really should get your girlfriend to pick this place up for you. I can barely see the floor. Heh, it reminds me of my big sis's house.” She watches as he visibly flinches at her words.
With a cough, he sits down on a couch half buried in clothes and says softy, “My wife and I are separated. We're having some difficulties...” Staring at the girl, she watches his eye rove over her body. It finally clicks as to why she feels uneasy.
^OK! I am the biggest moron ever! How the hell am I getting out of this one?!^ Taking a deep breath, she begins talking. Her words are low and gentle. Using everything she knows about love and the heart, she tries to help him understand the problems with his wife, and how to fix them. After a few minutes of heart felt conversation, he begins to cry. ^Awwwww, I can't resist a crying man^ Sitting down on the couch beside him, she hold his shaking shoulders as he cries. “Don't worry. I know you can do this. Just try to remember, marriage is a partnership. It doesn't work if you both don't work at it. You married her for a reason. Try to remember that reason, and I know you'll get back together!” He nods a few times, wiping his face dry. He stands and heads towards what she surmises is the kitchen.
When he returns, he's wearing a shirt again. ^Thank God^ He offers her a beer. “No thanks. I don't do beer.” He shrugs and pops one of the cans in his hands. Looking around, she feels reality settling back into place. ^Ok...I follow help a drunk guy home, spend time in his house, and I didn't get raped. I think I'd better stop tempting fate for tonight. Standing, she bow slightly. “Thanks for the video game suggestions. I'll be sure to check some of those out! Now, I need to get back home before my brother kills me!”
The man sets down his beer and walks over. Without warning he pulls the short girl into a tight hug. “Thank you. So much. I'll...I'll call her today. I still love her so much. You're right, I can't let it end this way.” She slowly reaches up and returns the hug gently.
With a final pat on the back, she heads out of the small apartment Outside she realizes how stuffy his home was. ^Well, moron I may be, but too, am I a truly nice person! At my own peril, I helped a stranger. Yet again,^ “I RULE!” The last two words, she shouts to the night. Feeling a strange form of terror and exhilaration, she glances around. ^Well, at least I'm sober now. Nothing like virginity in danger to get yer head on straight in a jiffy^ Looking towards the east, she realizes it's “Later” than she thought. The light pink hues of the rising sun work to slowly easy away the uneasy feeling that had been fluctuating inside of her. ^I hate pink...^ Walking to the nearest tree, she bends over. ^Time for some early morning prayer^
With that last thought, she empties the contents of her stomach on to the grassy boulevard with an almighty hurl. After some time spent coughing and sputtering to try and get all the vomit and bile out of her throat and nose, she stands once again. Looking back to the rising sun, she wipes away the tears the burn of puking had brought to her eyes, and wonders what the hell else can happen to make this day worse.
+++++++++++++
Well well, she's definitely not the smartest person in the world, but she did a good deed. I hope it works out for them! *Just a note, this really happened to Sis. She doesn’t remember most of the convo, which is why it's left to the imagination here.* The DP here is, what to do now? Head home? Head straight to school? Pick up her bike first? Spend today in bed? Any other ideas?
And just a side note, what should she tell her dear Bro about why she's been away for over a day? I'll compile suggestions for this one, to make an interesting excuse.
*Bows* Thanks for your patience!
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:48 am Post subject: |
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I remember an encounter like that I had myself once. She must've felt pretty stupid too but it was neat getting to innocently get to know a very nice total stranger like that.
I say we should just tell him the truth. Honesty is usually the best policy. So what if he flips out. What's he gonna do 'bout it?
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:21 pm Post subject: Post |
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Soooo, your suggestion is to go home now and talk to Bro?
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:44 am Post subject: |
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Though TBs suggestion is most certainly the most sensible, I have a feeling that this girl isn't really thinking completely rationally at this point (and hasn't been for a while). If she's worried about her bro finding out, close as they are, she's probably not going to want to willingly tell him. I say she gives Pockey a call first, tell her what happened and beg her for an alibi, and then go home. Tells her bro she's been at Pockey's all night, and leave it at that.
I would have said it might be in her current state of mind to want to stay out longer, but my clean-freak nature when it comes to bathing and wearing the same clothes for more than a day won't let me put that as a suggestion. *giggles* So yeah, I say she goes home with the story about staying at Pockey's, and preferably has a bath and get changed.
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:03 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | and I didn't get raped. |
I often have this problem.
I'd spend a day in bed after that, it's the sensible thing to do, and say you were at a friends house.
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Andolyn
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| Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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| i'm with Tika.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:30 am Post subject: Polling |
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Polling polling polling!!!!!!!!!
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:52 am Post subject: Poll Results |
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Sober Day After Decission
Go home now, tell the truth
0% [ 0 ]
Go home now, use Pockey as an alibi
66% [ 2 ]
Go home now, spend day in bed, say she was at a freind's house
33% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Andolyn, Chinaren, Thunderbird
I'll be working on this todays! Hope you enjoy!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:50 am Post subject: Death Day 6 |
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Death Day 6
Wiping away the last remnants of puke and tears, the girl turns her back to the sun and begins wandering towards her home. ^Better check in. Bro'll kill me if he doesn't see me soon...^ After ten minutes of shuffling and stumbling, the girl eventually reaches her front stoop. Using all four limbs, she crawls to the top to the porch. Still off balanced, she wobbles to her feet. As her hand reaches out for the golden door handle of the glass front door, said door flies open. The girl swallows, her heart thudding loudly in her chest. Tattered sneakers lead to blue sweatpants, followed by a black t-shirt with the Hogwarts crest on the front. When her eyes finally meet the gaze of the one wearing the fashion reject nightmare, her head has retracted so far into her neck she's surprised she can still see him over the multiple chins the action creates. “Um, hi Bro....” She mumbles patheticly.
The look on the albino's face leave no question as to how worried he's been these past few days. His hand whips out and she flinches as she finds herself drawn into a bone crushing hug. The girl relaxes slightly in her dear twin's embrace as he steps back, pulling her inside behind him. As soon as he's kicked the door close, he pushes her out to arm's length and quickly looks her over. Confirming no major injuries, he reaches up then brings his fist down to rap her sharply on her crown. ^OK, I deserved that one^ She yelps slightly at the sudden sharp pain radiating around the area struck. Reaching up, she hold the spot as her beloved brother busts out into a long string of over protective worries and heart breaking fantasies.
When he finishes, he pulls her in for another hug and kisses the place he'd hit. “And lastly, please don't forget your phone again, alright Sis?” She simply nods, bringing her arms up to wrap around his slender form.
When he finally lets her go, she kisses him and wanders off to the bathroom for a shower. ^Well, at the very least, he didn't ask what I'd been up to^ After a few seconds under the spray, she hears the curtain move behind her. A light smile comes to her lips. ^Guess injury inspection isn't over yet^ Turning to face her ghostly brother, she hold out her damaged wrist for assessment. She relaxes as the scorching water burns all the accumulated filth from the bar, the stranger's house, and vomiting from her slowly reddening flesh. He brother's fingers are cool against the swollen wound.
“Looks alright. A cold pack on it today should have it functional in no time.” He looks up at her with a raised eyebrow. “Not often do I see signs of you punching anything. Care to tell me what happened?” He inquires. She smiles in return, a rather wicked grin indeed.
“Oh, no real reason. Just some sleazoid that needed to be taken off the list of hot and put down for a while.” Her brother just shakes his head. Her hair now thoroughly soaked, she turns around an wags it at him. With a chuckle, he reaches past her for the shampoo.
As soon as the shower is over, the girl whips out the hair dryer and tries to coax her tall brother into a seated position on the plush seat of the toilet. “There's no way you're making it to work on time if I don't use this, so stop whining and be a good boy.” With a final whimper, he slides on the the padded plastic seat. The girl flinches as she exerts the pressure necessary to slide op the button on the ancient hair drying device. It take well over 20 minutes to get through the mass of hair attached to her brother's head. Once finished, she giggles at the new fluffy nature of the bundle of white. Giving his sis a kiss in thanks, he runs down stairs to get dressed. After putting the device away, she follows suit. She gets downstairs just in time for a kiss good-bye and to wave him out of the yard.
Getting dressed in her purple and gray sweat suit, she picks up her phone and calls up her god brother to ask for a ride. With a reluctant sigh he agrees. “Thanks a million! Be right over.” Snatching up her bag, she dials a new number as she heads out the back door.. “Hey, um, Pockey? If anyone asks, I was at yer place all last night, ok? Yeh yeh, I know, but I don't want my bro knowing that I wandered into a strange man's house while being totally wasted....Yeh, I did, but, later. I'll tell you after chemistry, alright? Ok, byes.” Snapping her phone shut, she slips into her god brother's already running car beside said person. He raises an eyebrow at her. “Heheh, I'll tell you later, let's be off!” He just shrugs and shift into drive. After a 10 minute ride spent singing the various awesome oldies blaring out of the radio, they pull up outside the crowded collage.
The day runs smoothly, Pockey laughing her ass off at the pure idiocy the girl showed the previous night. A quick stop at the nurse’s office at lunch yields an ice pack and wrap for her wrist. As soon as classes are over, she waves bye to Pockey and ops on her bike. Jetting home, she makes a quick costume change into a white button-up collared shirt and black khakis and men's dress shoes. ^Anime costume change, ha!^ A ten minute bike ride later gets her to work, ready and rarin' to go. The guy behind the bar grins and hands over his black vest and punches out with a halfhearted 'Good luck' tosses over his shoulder as he bolts out of the door. She chuckles at his speedy exit. ^Heh heh, youshi! Time for work!^ Rolling up her sleeves, she begins her show.
***Some hours later***
As soon as she gets out of the stench infested pub, the girl takes a header into the nearest poll. Banging her head repeatedly until she feels better about the new levels of idiocy and lewdness she'd witnessed that night then had ever imagined was possible in the human race before this point in time, she finally steps back, a light pink mark on her forehead. ^Now I remember why I can count my friends on one hand. While none of them have my book smarts, at least they know better then to drink from the beer that they've just ashed into....^ Moving behind the bar to retrieve her mode of transportation, she stops just around the corner. Strange sounds and voices seem to be coming from the back alley. ^Sounds like....2-3 guys, and a girl...and it don't sound to friendly^
Peeking around the edge of the building, she confirms 2 men, a teen boy, and a girl, also in her late teens. The two older guys, around twenty two, twenty three, have a hold of the girls hands. The one standing directly behind her has one hand over her mouth. Tears glint on the girls cheeks in the bright moonlight as she thrashes against the men. The teen has a knife in one hand, while the other is settled on his belt buckle. ^Now if this ain't the shits^ The girl can feel herself growling, her anger rising like hot bile in her throat. Biting a lip to avoid making noise she fingers her phone lightly. ^The damn beeps, so loud at night^ Her mind flicks to the crowbar she keeps on her bike in case of such things happening to her. ^Crack a skull, who cares!? They deserve it!^ The teen takes a step towards the captured girl, and the observer tenses, ready to act.
++++++++++++++++++
Oh dear dear, a real stresser this one!. How to deal with this!? It's up to you. . . . .
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:41 am Post subject: |
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ooooh... yes. Quite tense all of a sudden. If she can, sneaking up behind with a crowbar sure could help. But first, back up, turn OFF all sound on the phone and send a text to bro with the location she's at adding "Come NOW"
I enjoyed this chapter greatly Pope!
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:58 am Post subject: Thank You |
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Thanks. You'd be amazed at hoe she jerryrigged that crowbar to her bike so it's "easly accessable" for all occassions. But, that's our family for ya. =^.^=
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 12:53 pm Post subject: Post |
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I'ma leave this up until I get at least one more suggestion.....Then polling!
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| Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:29 pm Post subject: Death Day 5 |
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Death Day 5
In a flash, the girl takes several steps back, whipping out her phone and switching over to mute. ^God damn beeping to turn of the sound!^ As fast as her fingers will let her, she dials out -Ernie's Pub, Come NOW!- before slipping the phone back into her pocket. While her short message heads to space to be relayed to her dear brother, she sneaks back to the edge of the back wall. As soon as she peeks around the corner, she's met by sweaty man chest covered only in part by a blue button up shirt. With barely a second thought, she keeps walking and runs right into him. They both stumble backwards slightly, and she squeaks out an, “Excuse me, I didn't see you there!” Still a bit off kilter, the blue clad man just stares as she walks over to her bike and starts unlocking it. “Gotta get home before hubby worries!” With her left ear, she hears the girl trying to scream even louder for help, but without even a glance in her direction, the girl hops on her bike and takes off around the opposite side of the pub.
As soon as she's out of sight, the now even more pissed of girl throws her leg over her seat while still moving and pulls to a stop just out front. Pulling her 3 foot crowbar from the piping on her bike where she'd rigged some really tough wire to hold it, she heads straight back the way she came. When she spots the four again, the girl is now being pinned to the ground by the knees of the two older ones, while mister blue shirt is fiddling with his pants on his feet. ^Oh, no fucking way you piece of dropout trash!^ Her vision goes red. Only taking a vague observation of the knife in the boy's pocket, she charges. Covering the 15 feet between them in a few long strides, she brings the crowbar down on the standing one's shoulder with a sickening crunch. He falls to his knees and cries out with a not so masculine scream. Stepping past him, she swings the heavy hunk of metal around in a half circle and catches the guy kneeling on the right in the side of the head. He goes down like a rock. ^Another one bites the dust!^ As she pulls back to swing at the last guy, the girl on the ground suddenly breaks free and scrabbles to her feet.
Unable to complete her swing, the rescuer falls back, but not fast enough. ^Ah flaming donkey balls^ The one who's escaped getting his skull caved in, steps forward and snatches the bar away from the girl. With a roar of fury, he chucks the metal device away towards the center of the empty lot where it clatters to a stop next to a garbage dumpster. The girl now screaming her head off like a cat on fire is running pell-mell down the alley, but the girl has little time to note this fact. Dodging backwards she manages to avoid being grabbed but number three, but her stomach hits the floor as she feels warm body behind her. Before she can move, a thick arm wraps around her neck. ^Man I wish I had some upper body strength right about now!^ Thrashing and pulling, she manages to kick the on holding her in the shin, but he keeps his grip tight. Pulling and tugging, she begins feeling a little light headed as he squeezes down tighter. Number three walks towards her, his fists balled up, ready to pummel her senseless, but a faint tingle in her stomach makes her smile at him. ^You are so fucked^
The man pauses at the sight of her smile, but it's too late. Like a ghost, a pale white figure whips out from behind the dumpster, snatching up the crowbar as it goes. At the scraping sound the bar makes at it clears the asphalt, the man whips around just in time to catch said object upside the head. He stumbles slightly, then trips of a pile of boards and pipes set out in the alley for pick-up, and falls hard into a heap. The one holding the girl drops her quickly as the new assailant turns blood red eyes upon him. He stumbles away, clutching his shoulder. With a loud clang, the bar falls to the ground as the girl rushes into her brother's arms. ^I knew he'd come on time^ She holds him close, letting her mind regain it's function as the blood returns to her head. After a long moment, he pushes her back and gives her a light kiss.
“You have GOT to stop getting yourself into these situations my dear Sister.” He chides, still too happy that she's alright to be seriously angry. She shrugs.
“Unavoidable when I keep running into butt munches who are not into the word 'no'.” She stretches, the sound of sirens on the horizon making her a little jumpy. “See, there was this girl, she was being attacked, and y'know how I am. I have that silly knight in shinning armor complex. So, It just couldn't stand!” She smiles sweetly at him, his stern look softening slightly. “And, um, would it help to tell you that I work here now?” He raises a questioning eyebrow.
“You work in a back alley?” He says, failing to stifle a grin. She makes a play swing at him which he dodges easily.
“No you baka(idiot), I work at Ernie's! All those stories from Grandma Sandy are paying off! I got the job in one interview. It's great. And, since I work behind the bar, ass-grab is at a minimum!” She scratches the back of her head with one hand. “I didn't plan on telling you like this, but I guess it's as good a time as any.” He just smiles wider and brings her in for another hug. A few seconds later, she realizes that the sirens are just over a block away. Not wanting to deal with the police just this second, the girl scoops up her crowbar and straddles her bike. As soon as she feels the feel of warm hands on her shoulders, she takes off down the alley. A quick left sends her through someone's backyard, and on to a street with not a cop car in sight. A quick jaunt brings the twins to their home in no time. After several assurances that she has no injuries, the girl swiftly changes into her night gear and curls up on the futon and without a sound, she drifts off to sleep.
**************
The next morning is spent like every average morning. Up, shower, dressed, and out the door to school, with a few bouts of sibling fights mixed in. The wind in her hair, the girl leaves with enough time to take the back route. ^Even though technically, this sends me through a different township, it's still less stressful^ The six bars along the way look rather abandoned at this time, giving her some quick giggles over the ghost town feeling. In no time, she reaches the collage, pulling her bike up to the rack and chaining it in place. ^No more vanish-a-bike^ Classes run smoothly, and right around time to head home, the local D&D(Dungeons and Dragons) groups comes up to her. ^Ok, these geekazoides don't look nervous^ Sarcasm is thick in her thoughts. The tallest one, ^I hate tall people^ a senior, walks forward and smiles.
“Hey, um, we were wondering. We heard from a friend of yours, you DM. And, um, well it's ok if you don't wanna DM, but we think it'd be great if you could at least come check out a session. Maybe take over some times?” His raspy voice smooths out as he speaks, giving the impression of an unused crank slowly being brought back to life by a well muscled man.
She almost blows them off immediately, but then her DM heart calls to her. ^Maybe just to watch. I haven't DMd in a while...But these guys look like they don't need much on the way of that....I wouldn't mind rolling a character right now....It's been so long....And there's not MUUUUCH homework today. But Bro....^
+++++++++++
Well, I know this one's an odd one, but the choice is mainly, should she go, and if yes, what roll should she play at the D&D session. Those of you who have NO idea what D&D is, I'll do my best for a quick explanation. It's like a video game, played with die and paper, where the “Computer Program” that forms the game, is actually a person known as the DM, or Dungeon Master. Mostly is swords, magic, dragons, and other such settings. It's really fun! Rescuing damsels, clearing castles out for rich people so that there is no more goblin infestation, retrieving rare objects for wizards...Fun stuffs. So what's the ideas?
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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hahaha on the DP! How could one say no? There was once a time when I wouldn't have been able to resist no matter what my responsibilities may have been that may be more important.
That said, only those groups you 'jive' with are the ones that are really fun to play with. So go, check out how they play, generate a halfling rogue for a lighthearted step into their world and see how it goes. Call bro to let him know where you are and why. He might appreciate that.
| Quote: | | At the scraping sound the bar makes at it clears the asphalt, the man whips around just in time to catch said object upside the head. |
Lked the fight scene but you might wanna re-evaluate everything about this sentance.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | hahaha on the DP! How could one say no? There was once a time when I wouldn't have been able to resist no matter what my responsibilities may have been that may be more important. |
OMG, so F5 that.
I have to say yes, why the hell not too.
Slight niggle time:
| Quote: | | The girl now screaming her head off like a cat on fire is running pell-mell down the alley, but the girl has little time to note this fact |
You need to try and use more varied descriptions for your 'girls' and the like. Comes over as a bit confusing this one.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:48 am Post subject: Polling |
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We is now polling! Need ssome votes before Chinren yells at me! Happy voteing!
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| Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:59 am Post subject: Re: Polling |
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| PopeAlessandrosXVIII wrote: | | We is now polling! Need ssome votes before Chinren yells at me! Happy voteing! |
~prepares to yell~
And voted.
And winning.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 1:31 am Post subject: Poll Results |
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D&D Anyone?
Go with, make a character and join
100% [ 2 ]
Go with, just sit back and watch
0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 2
Who Voted: Chinaren, Thunderbird
Will get right on this!
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:08 am Post subject: Death Day 4 |
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Death Day 4
Bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet for several seconds, he heart continues to sing to her. After several head bobbles, she finally nods. The boy nearly collapses in relief, letting out a breath she hadn't noticed him holding. ^Boys are so weird. You'd think he'd ask me out on a date, or to go sky diving together.^ She spots several of the guys behind him giving each other high fives. She coughs lightly, getting their attention. “I need to run home and grab my gear. Where is this being held?” As if anticipating her request, the tall one whips out a piece of paper and hands it over to her. Glancing at the address, she nods again. “Alright, I'll be over in about an hour, be ready.” The geeks nod and cluckle various affirmations before she whips around and stalks off towards her bike. ^Okay, I'll need my dice, my character sheets, a players handbook, and just in case, pencils and scratch paper. Never know what these guys are thinking when it comes to gaming....^
Fifteen minutes later she pulls up behind her house. Spotting her bro's bike against the fence, she begins formulating a plan to get out of the house unscathed. ^Y'know, I think I'll tell the truth for one. Might help my odds. Damn karma^ Trotting down the steps into the basement, she hears the click clack of her brother typing the second she opens the door. He only pauses a moment when he hears the creak before starting right back at attacking the keyboard. Slipping past, she does her best not to disturb him. Dropping off her school stuff on one of the several dressers littering the basement. Re packing her bag with the appropriate supplies, she hesitates upon the last item. Her die box, the one she shares with her Bro, sits on a shelf on the edge of his vision. For a split second she actually contemplates leave them behind and just using the nerds', but then her stubborn side kicks in.
Sneaking forward, she slowly scoops up the holding device and tucks it in her bag. Passing behind the couch, she mutters, “Going out. Be back later” She tries to dart past the seated man, but just as she pulls even with him, his voice stops her dead.
“I hope your not planing on getting into more trouble tonight. My nerves can't take this.” His fingers are still flying over the keys, his voice soft but sincerely troubled.
Taking a deep breath, she leans in between the dangling cloths so she can give her brother a nice solid hug. “The only danger I'm going to be in tonight is being geeked to death.” She whispers. He finally stops typing to look at her, eyebrow raised. She giggles. “I'm going to check out the collage D&D club. Se how much the new versions have warped their minds, y'know?” With a small harrumph, he pulls her in for another tight hug before waving her off on her way. As soon as she's out of eye sight, she does a little victory dance. ^Score one for honesty!^ Patting Ruby one the head a few times, she jets past the dog into the outside world. Hopping on her wheels, she pulls out the paper to re-check the address. ^Yay, south side.....Drug and ho central. Meh^ Tucking it back in her pocket, she takes off out of the dirt driveway.
Passing the second sports field, the high schooll, and crossing Ludington, she's nowofficiallyy onsouthh side. Not far by distance standards, but worlds apart as far as class and homes go. North side, filled with out homes and wold flowers, looks almost rustic in comparison to the crack houses and well maintained lawns of south side. ^Two kinds of people on south side, addicts and drunks. Only difference? The drunks have nicer houses and lawns^ A quick jaunt down 2nd to 8th, and she arrives outside the right place. It's eggshell white siding and 2 inch even lawn tells her what this kid's parents do on their nights off. Finding a nearby lamp post to chain her bike to, she saunters up to the front door. Ringing twice, she shuffles around on the plush red 'Welcome' mat while she scopes out the area. When the door swings open, the tall one from earlier is standing there, a huge grin on his face. With a wave, she slips inside.
The others are already there, including 3 new people. ^So now we have six boys and three girls, including me. Fun stuffs. Those girls don't look like they have the slightest idea of what's going on...How fun!^ The tall one introduces himself as well as the other gamers. She nods at each of them, their names slipping right out of her head as soon as she hears them. ^I'll remember their character's names. That's good enough^ Turning to the tall guy she asks, “So where is this set? Pre-made, or one of your creation?”
He laughs slightly, “Um, pre-made. I haven’t quite gotten the hang of making these up yet. Oh, it's Glantri by the way.” He points at the set box sitting on the table. Her brother has the same one at home.
Nodding, she sits down at an empty chair. Pulling out her gear, she watches as the rest of the guys “help” the girls roll their characters. ^Glantri huh? Wiz would be good. Might as well fit in. Them wizards hate non wiz.....^ Rolling up her stats, she draws up a 16 int half elf mage with a sling staff and expensive robes. As she jotting down her secondary skills she notices that the others are barely on to getting their stats in place. ^Either I spend too much time making characters and have gotten real good at it, or these guys are total n00bs^ With a sigh, she finishes up her character, and decides to give him a back story while she waits for the others to finish. After another half an hour, they finally get their characters all put together. Looking down at her paper she can't help but grin at the 3 page back story she wrote up.
The session begins kinda jerkily, the girls having a hard time understanding the visualizing aspect of the game, but it smooths out as the characters meet. Her own character is a resident of Glantri, and works at a books store. The first job is a simple one, but takes the entire session to complete, and by the time they are finished, the girl has come to her decision on the group.
Waving goodbye to the retreating vehicles, she begins unchaining her bike. ^Okaaaaay. No WAY am I ever doing that again. Incompetent, argumentative, and the smell....What gamer in their right mind ARGUES with the DM? Rule number one of Dungeons and Dragons: DM is God^ Sliding on to her seat, she decides that this town needs a better example of a D&D club. ^I guess I just have to start my own! V2 only, and I know just the people to help me start^ She whistles to herself as she trundles on home. Halfway there, she begins singing the song “I just had sex”. ^The shear honesty and straightforward nature of the song makes the less than poetic lyric tolerable. And the tune is nice too!^ Arriving home around 3 AM, she parks her bike and sneaks inside. All the lights are off, meaning her brother is already in bed. As she passes the desk, she snatches up the headlamp she keeps above the keyboard and wanders over to where she dumped her books.
Grabbing up the ones she needs, she makes her way over to the table and plops down. It takes less then an hour to complete her work. Detaching the lamp from the front of her shirt, she switches it off before wandering over to her dresser. After a quick change, she heads over to the futon and crawls under the covers. After a few seconds, a warm arm wraps around her middle and she's pulled backwards. Snuggling in against her brother, she swiftly nods off into dream land.
***********************
After a restful night of odd dreams, the girl wakes to the sound of the pipes over the computer rattling loudly. ^Really need to get that looked at^ Standing, she wanders over to her dresser. ^No shower today...I'm clean....^ The late night takes it's toll on her mind as she slips into her clothes for the day. Wiping a brush through her hair, she stumbles upstairs. He laziness extends to breakfast, and so after fixing up her brother's lunch, she wanders into the bathroom for her morning ritual. “ I'ma heading out early today. I'll have breakfast on the way. You'll have to fend for yourself this morning.” she calls through the curtain to the pale figure within.
The figure laughs. “That bad huh?” This one question is enough to send her on a long tirade about the abysmal way V3+ D&D has destroyed what it means to be DM. As soon as she's done, she goes over to the curtain, pulling it back just far enough to get a good-bye kiss from her nude brother. “Don't take it so hard. Sometimes evolving goes backwards you know.”
“Yeh yeh.” She mutters, heading out towards the upstairs back door. Sparing only a glace towards her step sister's boyfriend parked in his usual place in front of his computer in the back room, she tromps out the back door. ^Let's see...Breakfast. Wendys, Burger King, McDonald, Just Burgers, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Arby's, Subway, and Tacobell are all on the way...^
++++++++++
Have fun.....It's all I can say....Depending on where she ends up, we have different happenings.... *Evil Grin*
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| Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:05 am Post subject: Suggestion |
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I need some suggestions here pople! Not a hard one this time.....
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:37 am Post subject: |
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Ok, I just caught up here. I enjoyed the chapter (but I'm a fan of 3.5 myself - still... I can understand the sentiment as 4 just seems wretched to me and I know a lot of guys who never moved past 2 and really do understand their arguments. It took me building a massive database to support the 3.5 dm complexity for me to enjoy running it really but now that I HAVE that I do like a lot about it over 2. Meh... but yeah, I do see how it seems in many ways to be heading backwards. There were so many v4 changes I could not tolerate at all...)and, as you can see, I could relate to a lot of what was said. My group never had any qualms with arguing with the DM, that's for sure... but we did have dang good sessions as well.
Anyhow, I say she heads on over to Subway. Why? Why not?
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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I haven't played D&D (it was AD&D back then) since college, so I dread to think what they've done with it over that time.
Anyway, breakfast? Macs.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry Pope...
You have one day to post another chapter or it shall be moved to the snailstory area.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:20 pm Post subject: Polling |
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Polling, let's see some voting!!!
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:21 pm Post subject: Re: Polling |
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| PopeAlessandrosXVIII wrote: | | Polling, let's see some voting!!! |
Lol, you posted that at the same time as my slow warning!
Anyway, voted and winning!
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:16 pm Post subject: Sorry |
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Sorry *Bows* First no one was suggestiong, then the tie vote...I just voted, so I'll get the next chapter up in about and hour or 2....*Bows* Sorry again.....
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:24 pm Post subject: Poll Results |
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What's For Breakfast?
McDonalds
33% [ 1 ]
Subway
66% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Chinaren, PopeAlessandrosXVIII, Thunderbird
Looks like sandwich for breakfast, yay!
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 4:38 pm Post subject: Chapter 10 |
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Death Day 3
Sidling over to her bike, the girl hops on to the small seat, once again cursing her ample backside, as well as idiot bike makers. ^I mean c'mon. Wouldn't EVERYBODY be more comfortable on wider bike seats?^ With a small push off, she tears out of the dirt driveway and into the alleyway. It's cracked and stone smattered surface causes the wheels to make popping grinding sounds as she rides over it. Deciding on the back road, she heads straight instead of a right at the end of the alley. ^How about fresh meat this fine cloudy morning?^ Standing, she forces the hunk of metal and rubber into a higher gear, taking her speed up to suicidal levels. Across streets and through alleys, she books it past store and home until she pulls up beside the local Subway. ^Ah, time for some MEAT!^ Propping her bike up on the outer wall, she wanders inside, growling irritatedly at the jangling of the customer bell. Being early, the store is empty save for the pockmarked teen behind the counter.
Waking over to the glass case that guards all the tantalizing toppings from grubby children mitts, she waits for the guy to notice her. Finally dropping his magazine, he slumps over and just stands there for several seconds before asking, “What kind of bread would you like ma'am.” Cringing at the sound of someone calling her ma'am, she glares at him.
“I'll take the white stuff. Trying for an early heart attack here.” The guy just shrugs and grabs the requested loaf.
“How long would you like it?” He asks disinterestedly.
^My, what a cheerful demeanor. Perhaps I'll tip today!^ “Um, foot long will work.” She mutters. Looking at all the divine meats, she decides to go easy this morning. “Just give me a plain triple club sub please!” For the first time his attention seems caught as he stares at her openly, when she smiles, showing off the results of too much calcium in ones diet, extra canines growing from her gums above her regular ones, he blinks and looks down, readying her sandwich. ^I love doing that!^ Turning away, she looks out the window in time to spot the person about to enter just before they pull the door open. ^Oh goodie^ Smiling a little lighter now, she waves at the guy coming in. “Hey God Bro” He stops for a second, taking some time to register just who she is. He laughs slightly before walking over and bonking her on the head.
“What's up midget? Aren't you suppose to be in school?” he asks. Rubber her head she just sticks her tongue out at him. Rubbing the spot on her head where he'd bopped her, she heads over to the register to pay for her monster meat sandwich.
“Nah, my first class isn't for an hour. What about you? I know your schedule, you have class in like 20 minutes.” She fires back at him. He just shrugs and points at his car outside. Growling, she snatches up her change and meal and brushes past him. Throwing open the door, she waves before scuttling over to her bike. Taking off, she stuffs the top of the bag between her teeth to keep her food safe. In less than three minutes she arrives at the bike rack behind the collage. As soon as it's chained, she pulls half her sandwich out and begins munching. Waltzing up to the back doors, she moves down the halls towards her first class. Rounding the corner, she's met by an unwelcome sight. Standing outside her classroom door are a pair of officers. They are standing beside the girl from the previous night. In the light of day, she recognizes her as someone she shares classes with. Whipping around she tries to retreat without being spotted, but to no avail.
“There she is!” The second she hears the phrase ring out, she stops dead. Spinning back around she watches the group of three walk over to her. All the eyes around are trained on them, including her own.
^Oh yay of yayness. I get to “answer a few questions”^ Steeling herself for the experience, she tears into her sandwich. The action gives her an excuse for a little while to remain quiet.
“Excuse me,” The shorter of the two says as they reach her. “Where were you last night from the hours of 2AM to 3AM?” His low guttural voice makes her cringe. Taking her time chewing up her food, she entertains the idea of lieing.
^I mean, does it really matter? I helped her...So what if I gave some guys concussions in the process....^ Bobbling her head back and forth a few times, she wonders just what to tell the nice men with guns. Deciding truth is the best way to go, she swallows thickly and says. “Well, if you ask that nice girl right there, I'm sure she can tell you.” The officer glances back at the trembling girl, then turns back to the girl munching on the sandwich.
“Could you come with us? We have a few questions about the events of last night.” The officer motions down the hall. With a huge sigh, the girl follows the blue clad men down several halls. Everyone they pass turn to the person beside them and begin whispering.
^Oh yay, not I'm going to be the center of attention for the next YEAR. I hate this. I mean, it's not the first time I've saved an idiot girl from her own stupidity! Hell, I'M one of them!^ Laughing at herself slightly, she finishes up the first half of her sandwich just as they reach the office. Moving into the conference room, she spots not only the principal, but the school shrink as well. ^Oh great! They're turning this into something big!^ Suppressing a growl, she steps into the room, one of the officers closing the door behind her.
**************
With a deep sigh, the girl begins unshackling her bike. The day had been long. ^First the interview, ten the principals speech about morality, THEN the shrinking! My day was so nice. The, dealing with the constant hiss of whispers from everyone. I swear, I was going to class with snakes today! I felt like going all Weasel Stomping Day on them....Except snakes rather than weasels....^ Looking at her watch, she notes that it's still 2 hours before work officially begins for her. ^Ugh, nothing to do for two whole hours....I need to get away from all this hissing.....^
++++++++++
So, what to do now? She needs some relaxation. Should she head to work early, grab a few? Slip over to Pockey's for some girl time? Head home for a nap, or a nice chat with bro? Anything else? What cha think?
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And my first Finished work Death Day
Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:32 am; edited 1 time in total
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:23 pm Post subject: Suggestions |
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Oki, need some suggestions here.... Inknow this may not be the most exciting SG out there, but it's nearing it's end. So, if you guys could stick it out, we'll be set in about a week.............
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry Pope, I actually read this yesterday, and somehow convinced myself that I commented then...I still can't figure out why I didn't.
Anyways, good chappie!  For the dp...I don't think she's going to be in the mood for a nap to be honest. She's irritated and probably also not going to be in the mood to take any good advice from her brother, or in the right frame of mind to be around her work collegues either for an extra couple of hours. Pockey's house sounds like it might be the right thing to do, considering she likely wants to get it out of her system with a rant about her day, and a little innocent(ish) misbehaviour with her best friend. That or go grab herself some retail therapy.
Sorry again about the delay Pope!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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I'm really behind on reading Pope so please don't be offended. Been wanting to get to this for a while now. Thanks for your patience.
Anyhow, I'm going to say that she should head down to the park for a quiet nap beneath an oak tree in an isolated place she sometimes goes when she doesn't want to be around ANYONE.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:07 am Post subject: Polling |
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Oki, Polling now! Needs votes!
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:44 am Post subject: |
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I really liked the premise of the story: understanding the personality and last few days of a murdered girl. Very innovative. Also, like somebody else mentioned, I found the protagonist to be very realistic and believable.
As for options, I chose taking a nap under a tree. Just because it's been a while since I've done that myself.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Thank you Mayor! No plans to start a SG. I'd like to see this SG and others to their conclusion.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:57 am Post subject: Poll Results |
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Before work relaxation?
Drinking with Pockey
25% [ 1 ]
Shopping
25% [ 1 ]
Nap under tree at park
50% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Andolyn, Muaddib, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon
I'll get right on it.....
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:50 pm Post subject: Death Day 2 |
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Death Day 2
Throwing a leg over her bike she pushes off of the cement and heads for the road. ^How can one day be so annoying....^ Weaving back and forth across the emergency stop lane, she drifts slowly down the highway, enjoying the light spring breeze in her hair. ^Okay, here we go!^ Taking a few deep breaths, she gets her legs pumping. In a short little race against the stoplight she manages to once again get under the train bridge and to the other side without getting mowed down by moronic motorists. ^Another win for me^ Walking her bike until she reaches a clear spot, she watches each car pass with an odd expression. ^I wonder what their lives are like....Who are they? What are their names? Why is that their name? What brought them to the place in their life that they are now? Do I know them? Have I seen them before, or have they seen me?^ Glancing back she sees no more cars coming on her side of the street so the girl hops back on her bike and starts peddling. Her mind continues questioning. So many questions that she has no way of answering, but that she craves the answers for none the less. Passing the fairgrounds a moving picture seems overlay her vision and she sees the area bustling with people and rides that are no longer there. ^All these people in their lives, doing what they do...And only a few people will even remember them. We hear about people dieing, and we feel bad on principal, but do we ever really care? We don’t know these people, and their deaths don't affect us, so.....^ He mind drifts to many more thoughts and question as she swiftly makes her way towards the lake.
Turning on main street, Ludington as the locals know it, she looks into all the shops she's never visited. ^All of these places, how important are they? I mean, one or more shuts down or moves EVERY season at least! I'll never go in, but why do others? Obviously they need the services offered there..But why?^ The never ending question echos in her head. 'Why' The question with no complete answer. She tries to shake off the question as she reaches the lake front road. Following it for a times, she makes her way across the road to where the fountain and gazebo are. The splashing sound of the fountain water is an old and welcomed relaxing noise. Hopping off her bike she chains it to a nearby sign and wanders over to a tree within earshot of the babbling waters. ^Too many questions. So much to think about....^ No one visits the fountain anymore, and the gazebo is only really used for weddings so with a final glance around the girl curls up beneath the tall tree, it's broad leaves lit lightly by the sun overhead causing beautiful patterns to dance around on the ground around her. Fiddling with one such pattern with a finger, she slowly drifts off to sleep.
**********
A little over an hour later, she wakes to her phone playing the theme song from Law & Order. “Uuuugghhh” She complains towards the irritating device. Reaching into her pocket she turns off the alarm without looking. Crawling around in a few circles on her hands and knees she finally runs into the tree repeatedly which wakes her up. “Ok, ok, awake, work now....” Standing she stretches several times, filled with snaps and pops from various joints, she gives out one last “Argh!” before dropping her hands and meandering towards her bike. Unhitching it she crawls on and starts off towards home. The trip is filled with a dull buzz of songs she tries to sing to wake herself up. Getting into the house she realizes that her Bro isn't home yet. ^Ah well, will make the stop shorter^ A slight pang in her chest causes her to stop. Looking around, she tries to figure out what caused it. The pain had brought her fully awake, and now she can't help but notice the clean nature of the room. ^Mom must have called and pestered him about keeping the house clean. The girl had found out that Mom would be gone for a while downstate to see the grand-babies via text the day before, but work had gotten in the way of seeing the “old lady” off. Tromping around the basement she quickly pulls on her work uniform and heads out the back door.
*********
A short time later finds her pulling up at work. She glances over at the place her and her brother had taken care of the jerk squad and she can't help but smile. ^Cops said that some of the guys will be in the hospital for a while.... They SO deserved it^ And with that thought she heads inside to put on her show for the soon to be drunks. Many Ooos, ahhs and hand slaps later she makes her way back to her two wheeled transportation and unhooks it from the pipe coming out of the back of the pub. ^More and more fun as the day goes on...I was THIS close to breaking fingers...^ Pulling out her phone that had been on silent she checks out her texts. One from her Bro wishing her well, one from Mom teller her to do her portion of the cleaning ^Too late^ and one final one from Pockey asking if she'd spend the weekend at the dorm. The plump friend had apparently gotten a hold of a game she knows the girl will love and wants to watch her play it. With a shrug she texts back -Sure- and snaps the phone shut. Sliding on to her bike she starts puttering along towards the collage. Her mind wanders to the 24 hour shops. ^I'm hungry.....Snacks? Food? Booze?^ She sticks her tongue out playfully at the last idea. ^Maybe Pockey actually has food in the dorm room this time....Maybe I should call....^
++++++++++
I know, dorky DP this time, but it's an honest one. Snacks, food, booze, make a call, anything else you guys can think of? A mixture of all of them? Whatcha think?
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Chinaren
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:57 pm Post subject: Well........ |
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Well, that's one suggestion. One more, and we can have a poll!
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 6:32 am Post subject: |
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Sorry it took me so long Pope. My internet's been playing up the last few days and I've found posts and PMs alike to be difficult tasks to manage. But, finally, I've got to it!
Damn, this girl likes her booze! *giggles*
Found a few things that need correcting...
| Quote: | | We hear about people dieing, |
dying
| Quote: | | He mind drifts to many more thoughts and question as she swiftly makes her way towards the lake. |
Her
| Quote: | | Following it for a times, she makes her way across the road to where the fountain and gazebo are. |
I'm not a hundred percent on this one, as I'm not sure (and am braindead to working it out) if 'times' should be 'time' instead, or if both can be used in the same context.
| Quote: | | one from Mom teller her to do her portion of the cleaning |
Telling?
Okie doke, dp...I'm going to go with not drinking herself silly this time. She seems to eat an awful lot too. *giggles* I'm going to say just go down the shops and have a browse around. She was thinking about them before, and questioning their importance. So why not go find out?
I can see how close this is to the conclusion, Pope. I'm very intrigued as to how it's going to reach it's end.
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 6:51 am Post subject: |
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She should try something new. I say she goes to Pockey's place and they smoke some cheap phillies.
Also, I have a suggestion regarding her thoughts. Maybe they could be on separate lines like the way Thunderbird does his conversations in Heavy Metal. Or maybe instead of using caps (^) you could italicize her thoughts. I really don't like the caps at all.
The writing style really is unique for a storygame. I like the whole personalized feel the story has because of the inclusion of her thoughts. You've done a good job fleshing out the to-be-victim.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:20 am Post subject: |
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@Mua-kun: I thought of Itallicising (I know I spelled that wrong) but in thruth, the slanted letters seem to me to give the wrong feel when it comes to the girl's thoughts. I have always seen the slant as softer, gentler writing, and her thoughts are anything but. Her thoughts and actions have such force and such a close connection that the softer feel would mix it up in my mind. Sorry that they bug you, but just think, you only have one more chapter to read with them in it! *Applaudes* I can't wait!
@Tikanni-chan: Thanks for the spell check, I'll be sure to deal with it a.s.a.p.!
I hope you will all like the ending, and that I will not dissapoint. I'll leave off on the poll until tonight, so we still have time for a few more suggestions
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:29 am Post subject: |
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| Hmm, ominous...
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:01 am Post subject: Polling |
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We are now polling, choose carefully. . . . .
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:21 pm Post subject: Vote |
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I need at least one mroe vote before I can do my last chapter!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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In my head you said that in a Peter Griffin voice.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:49 am Post subject: |
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Whoah! I could have sworn I checked this recently. Goes to show how fast things move here.
Sorry Pope, but you have 24 hours to post another chapter here, or it will be moved!
| Quote: | | In my head you said that in a Peter Griffin voice. |
Well, I have just watched three whole seasons of the Family Guy, so entirely possible.
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:59 am Post subject: Poll Results |
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Last Night
Booze and Snacks
33% [ 1 ]
Paruse some shops
33% [ 1 ]
Buy some cigars
33% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Chinaren, Muaddib, Tikanni Corazon
I'll get right on it!
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:07 am Post subject: Death Day 1 |
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Death Day 1
Looking around the deserted street, the girl smiles lightly. ^I really do wonder about these shops.^ Pushing off she slowly makes her way down the street towards her home. Darkened store windows grin at her from some shops. A name and hours is all she can see. Others have their wares displayed proudly with bright lights and festive displays. Passing the wedding store she giggles over many of the frillier looking bride's maid dresses, her eyes settling on one after another. The wedding dresses don't hold much interest for her. ^After all, virgin that I am, I still want a black wedding dress. I look soooo much better in black!^ Drifting across a street she sighs, glancing over at the eagle club. ^It should just come out and say “Boys Club” already”. ^ Many hair dressers li9ne this small town street, wigs and beauty care products insisting you can't live without them. ^Ah, Record Rack. Best store on the street! Like a pawn shop, but better! No ID required! They get all the best games here at one point or another. . . .^ Dropping a leg down she kicks a can lying on the sidewalk. Her eyes follow the shiny object as it skitters down the walkway and into the street. The sound is one she's heard a million times before, but here alone on this empty street, the sound resonates just a little deeper then usual.
Picking up her pace she takes a sharp right and gets on the back road, away from the main street lights. Homes pass on either side,t he residents never knowing of the young girl passing by their windows for the last time. Yards strewn with toys make her smile, remembering her favorite “toys” as a child were books. Many a day would find her stretched out on the lawn with a good Dr. Seuss. ^I bet I was so cute. . . . .Not the lump I am now^ Shaking of the depressing thought, she takes a right to avoid running straight into the middle school. ^They really need to change it into the “Everything but” School seeing as everything but 10, 11, and 12th grades go here. God this is a small town. . . . .^ Crossing the school's playing field, she snorts at the small area they've torn up in readying for a playground. ^They need to also make up their minds about what this large fenced in area is going to be used for. . . .Asphalt, playgrounds, grass, b-ball court, and now another playground. . . .^ Glancing at her house as she passes, the girl resists stopping in to say hi. ^Bro's probably already busy with Mr. M.^ Sighing at her own lack of boyfriend, she heads for the nearby gas station on the block next to hers.
Propping her bike up against the exterior she slips inside. The jingle of the bell is met by a pair a dull brown eyes turning towards the door for a second before the clerk turns back to her paper. ^Yes, no threat here, just a short little collage student here.^ Making her way to the back beside the cooler the girl snatches up a bottle of Southern Comfort and makes her way back to the front. Plopping the booze down her attention is caught by a pack of brightly colored cigars in a display on the counter. ^Well, I'm already taking my ID out for one thing, why not? Grandpa says they're tasty.^ Pulling out the pack she lays it along side her alcohol. Paying for the lot, she coaxes a plastic bag from the bored attendant and heads back to her bike. Pulling the bag on like a backpack, She throws a leg over her bike readying for departure when suddenly she stops. ^Gotta tell Bro. If this game takes half as long as I think it will, I won't see him all week!^ Pulling out her cell, the girl types up a quick message. -Pockey has new game, not coming back til we win it. May take all week. Love you lots. Sis.- With that task complete, she slips the device back into her pocket and pushes off.
Moving down the road she watches the few cars out in this street pass with little interest, her mind already in the game. Rounding a corner, she hears the sound of a loud whistle. On instinct pounded into her by her father and his “Come here now” whistles, her head whips around towards the sound. A sudden pain explodes through her head, but there is no time to scream. The bike hits the pavement at it's rider falls to the side. Both bike and human lay in the road in a heap. A figure approaches the now lifeless body in the middle of the street, stopping a few inches short of the mess. In this night, and in this hour, lay now to rest, the youthful soul. A girl whose greatest desire not seconds before was to spend some time with a friend and kick some video game ass is now little more then a pile of meat, bones, and organs on tarmac. She'll never know what hit her, and shell never know how that video game ends. For today is her Death Day, and here ends her life.
++++++++++
I just wanted to do a small afterward for this story. I wrote this story after my sister came home and asked me the question, “What if I died today?” I know it's simple, but it got me thinking. My sister has never done anything in her life to garner recognition outside her family and immediate friends. Her death would be mourned by those people, and others would read about her if we felt we wanted to put her up in the paper. When I asked her what brought it up, she said she'd been biking home, and when she reached a certain corner here in town, she just had a quick flash of getting shot as a random thought. This too, got me thinking. I was curious on the matter myself, so I wrote the scene that popped into my head at the thought. She liked it and asked for more, so I posted it on IF for you guys to get a look. After a while, I realized I was no longer writing it out of curiosity, but because there was a an underlying thought pervading in my mind.
Stories are usually writing about amazing people. Tales of ones who changed the world, a town, or even the life of a group of animals. No one ever really pay attention to the average, even thought that's exactly what most of us are. Sure, when a bystander dies, the hero is saddened and/or angered, but what do they really know of this person? They mourn for the loss of life, not for the person themselves. While when the hero dies, he will be mourned by all who looked up to him/her. I'm not sure if I'm writing this right, but it's just how it's coming out. Your average person's death is not something to write an epic tale about. Sure, you can dramatize their actions, but in truth, they've done nothing extraordinary. They are just people, not heroes. My sister has never been fingerprinted, given blood, and her last dental x-ray was 10 years ago. She's gotten new teeth since then. No one would really know her save for the family here and a few friends, and that's how it is for many people.
This story was a tale of a simple collage girl, and her real life experiences. Most of what was written here really happened to her. All but the balloon incident, the getting a job at Ernie's, and of coarse, the dieing are all things I've seen or heard about. I hope this simple tale was able to amuse, and I'm grateful for your readership.
So concludes Death Day.
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:24 am Post subject: |
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Very sad, very provocative and finely ended. I'm very impressed at the thought process that led to this story, like I said before this was a unique SG.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:37 am Post subject: Yay! |
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I'm glad you liked it! I was kinda afraid that it would seem boring, but I'm glad to see at least one person enjoyed my bland little story.
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To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:24 am Post subject: |
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I agree with Muaddib on all accounts. The inspiration behind it is actually a very familiar feeling for me. Worrier that I am, I very often think such things, and you're very much right about the average people of the world. Most of them will never be known to anyone but their loved ones really, and it is quite a sad thought when one thinks about it.
Anyways, very good ending Pope. Well done!
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, I like it! Good ending there. It would have had more impact though, if you'd not put this line in:
| Quote: | | never knowing of the young girl passing by their windows for the last time |
This kind of foreshadowing IMHO, generally doesn't server any purpose except to act as a 'spoiler' for your own story down the line! Because of it, I was warned what was going to happen.
Anyway, apart from that, well done. A speed SGame is not easy to do, as you've now found out!
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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I thought it was very profound. I kept expecting to see previous things that took place having something to do with the way things ended but the way you wrapped things up with your Afterword there put everything in the necessary perspective to make the whole of the read quite thought provoking indeed. My only regret is how far behind I had fallen.
Well done Pope!
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:33 pm Post subject: Sank You |
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Sank you, Sank you all. I'm really glad this didn't disapoint too much. The entire point of it is that it's NOT a tale most people would be interested in reading, but I guess Sis's life is just that interesting. . . . . Anyways, I hope everyone can get caught up soon!
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And my first Finished work Death Day
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