Nexus- Chapter 6 now playing
Select messages from
# through # FAQ
[/[Print]\]

City of IF -> The Vault
What should our good friends Hansel and Gretel do?
Make a loud noise
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Follow the servant girl (currently being dragged away)
33%
 33%  [ 1 ]
Go find some food
66%
 66%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Thunderbird


#1: Nexus- Chapter 6 now playing Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:19 am
    —
Prologue

Blackness. A tugging feeling on her shoulders and waist. She felt a kind of disturbance in the air, as if she was rocking back and forth on a swing. What happened? She remembered walking into the forest to go check on her animal friends, but there had been something wrong. Before she could figure it out, there was a sharp, blinding pain in her head, and then darkness. But where was she now?

Snow White opened her eyes, brain protesting at the sudden sharp light. Squinting as her eyes adjusted, she found herself to be attached to a kind of cross. Rings encircled her shoulders and waist, holding her against the rough wooden slats that were in turn suspended rather high of the ground, swinging in an invisible breeze. She was under a bright light, but beyond the light’s reaches was impenetrable darkness.

“H…Hello?” Snow White called hoarsely, musical voice cracking slightly with fear and confusion. “Is anyone there?”

A quiet strain of music returned her call, sounding as if a young girl was singing from far away.

“Help, please!” She cried, frantic. “Please, I don’t know where I am or why I’m here- can you help me?”

The singing continued, getting closer and closer, until a stooped woman stepped into the pool of light. Her head was bent, face hidden beneath long, grey hair. She walked right up to the dangling feet, still humming the tune. She grabbed one of Snow White’s pale feet with gnarled fingers, holding it as if it was a treasured possession. Snow White shuddered with revulsion as the cold clammy hands touched her delicate skin. The woman began speaking in a sing-songy voice, much like a five-year old child.

“This little piggy went to market,” she gently tugged on Snow White’s largest toe. “This little piggy stayed home.” She moved on to the next toe, giggling manically and reciting in that same, disconcerting voice. “This little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none.” She reached the hanging woman’s last toe, and grabbed hold of it. “And this little piggy went WEEEE!” She let out a screech that sounded uncannily similar to a stuck pig- “Alllllll the way home.” The woman burst into mad laughter, all the while clutching Snow White’s foot in her hand, nails digging into the skin like claws. In her fit, the woman threw her head back, revealing her face.

Snow White was struck with horror at the glimpse of the aged face. “It’s… but-“ she stammered, unable to believe what was going on.

The woman calmed down, and raised her left hand, revealing a notched silver knife. She grinned, revealing yellowed teeth ground to points.

“Let’s give those little piggies something to really squeal about.”

The sound of Snow White’s shrieks split the air in two.


Last edited by Phantomfan on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:11 am; edited 16 times in total

#2:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:28 am
    —
Shocked

ummm....

Shocked

that's very... dark.

and kinda twisted.

I'm proud of you Phan! Very Happy

#3:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:32 pm
    —
Chapter 1

You are surrounded by nothingness. Not blackness, not whiteness, but emptiness in its entirety. A sense of complete disembodiment fills you- but there is nothing to fill. You simply remain, waiting for something.

A miniscule door appears in the nothingness, glowing with a faint, blue light. It grows larger and larger, and you realize that you are getting closer to it. Closer and closer, until you can see every detail. It is covered with a twisting, writhing pattern- one that is never the same twice. Entranced, you stare at it until it fills your mind completely- and it opens. You… float through it slowly.

Suddenly you are stretched, compressed, taken apart, pushed together-overloaded with these contrasting feelings until your nonexistent mind can’t take the pain any more-

And then- you are back in your own body, laying on the ground. Standing up, you look around. You are in an empty room- one that appears to be normal until your eyes roam to the corners. They’re perfectly ordinary corners, except for the fact that the walls don’t connect with the corners. They seem to bend and move closer and farther away wherever you look, unwilling to accept your pre-conceived notion of how walls work. From the walls emanates a loud voice- one of either a man or a woman, you can’t tell. It seems to alternate from one to the other, sometimes both.

“T’was a long time ago, longer now then it seems.
In a place you’ve perhaps seen in your dreams…
Now you’ve probably wondered where Fairy Tales come from.
If you haven’t, I’d say it’s time you’ve begun.”

Suddenly, there is a flash of bright light and a swirling mist fills the room. Coughing, you notice two dark shapes forming in the thick fog. As the mist slowly dissipates, the figures make themselves clear. One is what can only be described as a gaudy stage magician- bright red cape evidence of the flash and glamour of his profession. The second is a hooded figure, her face pale and her eyes deep pools. Doors of every shape and size appear on the walls- simple, beautiful, gaudy, all different kinds. Old doors, new doors, red doors, blue doors.

The magician bows dramatically to you.

“Choose a door, any door,” he intones in extravagant tones. “I promise they won’t bite.”

The woman smiles, revealing bright white fangs. “Won’t bite? Not quite.”

The magician twirls his cape and disappears in another flash of light. The woman merely gazes at you with an unreadable look on her face, then bows slightly and fades away into the surrounding mist, which quickly evaporates.

You are left alone in a room of doors. One of these doors must lead somewhere- but you don’t know where. The one that you choose could lead you somewhere you don’t want to be –into a tale of dark and demonic powers…

Alrighty, so here's how this SG is going to work. First of all- it won't be entirely in the first person- you will be embodying different characters as it progresses. Part of it will be this kind of dp- you will be choosing which door to take. So think back to your early childhood days, when fairy tales were all you thought about... You can give either a short discription of the door, or you can give the place to where it leads. Voting will be about which suggested door to take.

So we need a door! Also- if anyone has any title ideas, they would be greatly appreciated as well. Thanks!

#4:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:35 pm
    —
i don't have any ideas for the title.

But here's a door.

At first glance it seems like a door overgrown with thorny vines, but a closer glance shows that the thorns make up the door, twisting together and interlinking in complex arrangements. Among the vines sharp thorns abound, and here and there a glimpse of roses.

But not quite roses. They're red roses, like most others, but a gloomy red, that hints a darker truth. Once in a while, they stir hungrily, giving an impression of a barely restrained predator.

And you could almost swear that some of the roses had teeth....

#5:  Author: SabrielLocation: Wherever Garth Nix is being read. PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:11 am
    —
Whoa... nice and creepy, just the way I like it! Very Happy

Let's see... a door.

How about one that leads to the land of Cinderella?

#6:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:49 am
    —
Any more ideas?
C'mon, help a baby SG struggle to its feet!

#7:  Author: GallantLocation: There... No, There! PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:35 pm
    —
I like the idea of doors Phan. This feels like a darker sort of fairy tale. It's a good thing, it feels very welcoming but foreboding at the same time.

I want a charred door, still burning and crackling. The surface of it is warm and black dust comes off at the touch. If you look at the cracks and edges you can see glowing lines from where it burns.

Maybe put that in the poll? Oh and I don't mean to be pushy but make the next chapter longer. I want something chunky to digest. Very Happy

#8:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:42 pm
    —
Gallant wrote:
Oh and I don't mean to be pushy but make the next chapter longer. I want something chunky to digest. Very Happy


Yeah- sorry about that. This first part was mostly just an introduction- it should have been the prologue, but for later reasons was not.

Thank you!

#9:  Author: ScheherazadeLocation: Land of Rain and More Rain (but really southwestern BC, in Canada) PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:21 pm
    —
ooh, doors! maybe there's keys?

this door is...
old. ancient. The dark wooden boards are roughly hewn, and are heavily worn by all types of weather. There is no handle; the door is ajar ever so slightly, exposing a centimeter or so of the door-posts. There is a thin film of dust covering the door. A warm, flickering light shines through the gap in the bottom.

#10:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:36 pm
    —
OOOOOO

That's great!

we didn't even think of a possibility of keys!

This could get interesting.

Perhaps we find locked doors, but later find the keys?

#11:  Author: GallantLocation: There... No, There! PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:09 am
    —
What about a skeleton key?

#12:  Author: The Meaning Of FearLocation: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:52 pm
    —
This is reminding me of Kingdom Hearts for some reason... I hope I'm not turning into a fanboy.

And I've got 2 ideas for doors:

Door 1:

A door that sits by the supposed "corner" of the room, despite them still fluctating in a not-so-normal way.

This door is by far one of the largest, about 10 feet tall, maybe more. It was a double door, so that made it very wide as well, about 7 or 8 feet. It looks to be made out of oak, though you may be wrong. Chains overlap much of the surface of the wood, obscuring what may have been patterns on the wooden panels. These all seem to intersect at the centre of the door, where a gigantic padlock holds them together, the kind where the keyhole is on the side rather than the bottom. For some reason this door appears darker than the others... it's almost as if shadows were squeezing through the gaps between the two huge oaken sides...

Door 2:

A modest-looking pure-white door, unadorned with patterns of any kind, stood towards the left. The round doorknob was golden, and might well be made out of gold, too; its allure seems to promise you... something. Its clean exterior also seems to draw you, but its plainness seems to hold you back...

#13:  Author: BlackAmaranth PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:31 pm
    —
*gasp* you've got a new one? Shocked why did I not see this? anyway, this is a really promising beginning, and I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes. And for some reason that poem sounds eerily familiar Cool as for the door...hm...maybe one that almost seems alive, with networks that interweave like veins, and a spot in the middle that resonates like a heartbeat. The beast inside has yet to be revealed. And I'm not sure about the key idea...where is this person supposed to find it? Maybe it opens with something non-material...a riddle, perhaps?

#14:  Author: BlackAmaranth PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:37 pm
    —
Sorry, forgot about the title. Well, we're at the crossroads of several different worlds...how about Nexus?

#15:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:32 pm
    —
I like Nexus.

#16:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:56 pm
    —
Woot!
Thanks for all the replies, everyone. Especially BlackAmaranth- The new name is Nexus!!!

Any last minute suggestions?

#17:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:09 am
    —
Yes - a small, yellow, stable door, and the bottom half of it is wide open.


Another idea - a revolving door, which you can see beyond, through its glass, but it doesn't send you where you'd expect.

#18:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 7:27 am
    —
Wow, I really wasn't expecting this many door ideas. Thanks, guys! You've given me some great ideas.

Poll is up!

By the way- if your door is not chosen in this particular poll, you are always welcome to resubmit it in the next door-dp!


EDITZ; Forgot to put up and Author's option- my vote doesn't count!

#19:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:58 pm
    —
Alrighty, poll is closed!

and the winner is.... Which door shall you choose?

DMW's Rose door.

At first glance it seems like a door overgrown with thorny vines, but a closer glance shows that the thorns make up the door, twisting together and interlinking in complex arrangements. Among the vines sharp thorns abound, and here and there a glimpse of roses.

But not quite roses. They're red roses, like most others, but a gloomy red, that hints a darker truth. Once in a while, they stir hungrily, giving an impression of a barely restrained predator.

And you could almost swear that some of the roses had teeth....



Thanks to all who voted- next chapter will be up relatively soon!

#20:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:30 pm
    —
Thanks for being patient- sorry about the wait. Finals really really suck.
Anyways, here's....

Chapter 2!

You look around the disorienting room, doing your best not to look at the corners or walls. Doors swim in and out of view- one that seems to be crackling with fire, another that seems to be throbbing with a pulse, a third that is merely bright yellow one.

A door catches your eye. It appears to be covered with thorny vines, but as you step closer, you realize that the vines actually are the door- twisting and interlocking in complex, nearly mesmerizing patterns. Between the patterns and sharp thorns, you catch glimpses of roses. But… you squint and walk towards the door cautiously. These are strange roses- ones that exude menace and gloom rather then the traditional rosy happiness and brightness. As you look at one, it almost seems to stir hungrily, like a barely restrained predator. It has- you blink, then peer closer. You could almost swear the roses have teeth…

As you continue to walk towards the rose door, it flickers. You stop, unsure of what just happened. When nothing else happens, you step towards it again, placing your hand on the curved, smooth vine that services as the handle. You push down on it, and the door swings inwards with a growl, much like a beast about to pounce.

Beyond the door is merely menacing blackness. With a shiver, you close your eyes and step through the doorway.

The sense of falling, twisting, turning, spinning, tearing apart, falling-

~~~~

He was laying on his back, something tickling his ears. His head was pounding slightly, making his thoughts a bit of a mush. Attempting to get his bearings, Jack frowned at the blackness surrounding him. Then he realized his eyes were closed. He opened his eyes, squinting as bright light suddenly assaulted his vision and causing his eyes to water. After a minute of ferocious blinking, he looked up. An unfamiliar bright grey sky peered down at him. It seemed to radiate a kind of sunlight, though no sun could be seen.

Well, Jack thought. That’s different.

What had just happened? He remembered a second beanstalk, reaching even higher then the first had- but that sky was a normal blue, unlike this extremely disorienting grey that shone down on him now. And there had been a door at the top, and then a long fall…

Jack blinked, then began to pull himself up. As soon as his head was vertical, he was hit with a splitting headache- almost as if an angry porcupine was crawling around in his skull, needles jabbing into anything it could reach. He groaned with pain and clutched at his head, praying to something, anything, that it would go away soon.

After a few seconds that lasted hours, the porcupine stopped moving and the pain dissipated. Tentatively, Jack raised his head and looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was sitting at the edge of a forest. In front of him lay a gravel path, which led to-

“By the Great Bean…” he breathed.

There, in front of him, was a Mansion. It was twice the size of the mansions he knew, with towers and windows everywhere. The walls appeared to be covered in ivy- but well kept, leading Jack to reason that it was indeed inhabited.

And where there be people, he thought, hearing his stomach grumble, there be food.

With a grunt, Jack managed to push himself of the grass and onto his feet. He was disgusted to find his legs trembling.

“Ach, c’mon legs. Yah can’t be dead yet,” he said out loud, delivering a few hard slaps to his thighs. “There be plenty more walkin’ ta do!”

After a few seconds, the shaking stopped and Jack began walking towards the entrance to the
Mansion.

As Jack got closer to the doors, a flash of red caught his eye. He stopped and looked at the wall next to him. Red flowers peered back from between the twined vines.
“So they’s rose bushes, eh?” He murmured, curiously. He carefully reached his hand through the thorny vines to pick one- only to freeze as the rose turned towards him. Startled, he quickly pulled his hand out and backed away. The rose continued to face him, turning to follow him as he moved around.

“Mighty strange,” Jack muttered, unsettled. Avoiding any possible eye-contact with the watching rose, he walked up to the large, dark oak door that stood tall in front of him. He quelled his unusual nerves with a deep breath, then grabbed the large brass knocker.
Jack could hear the sound echoing through the house, fading away with each repeat until it disappeared entirely, silence covering the clearing. He waited. And waited.

After a few minutes, Jack knocked again.

Frowning at the lack of response, he gave up and turned around, staring down the pathway that led from the Mansion to the woods. He leaned back against the door, contemplating his next move. If the house was empty, then it wouldn’t help him at all. The only other place to go was the woods, but that didn’t look very promising…

All of a sudden, Jack realized that he had absolutely no idea of where he was.

“’S a completely different world,” he said out loud, if only to break the impenetrable silence that seemed to cover the clearing. He looked up at the strange sky, thinking.

A click resounded next to Jack’s ear and the door swung inwards, sending him sprawling backwards with a yelp as his only means of support was removed. He sat up, rubbing his head and cursing indignantly. As he watched, the heavy door swung closed with a thud that echoed much like the knocker had- but deeper, with a more final tone.

Jack leapt up and grabbed the door handle, heaving with all his strength. Some feeling deep down told him that he did NOT want to be locked in this strange house with no means of escape. The door refused to budge.

“Ay, what’s all this?” Jack said angrily, whirling around to see the person that had opened the door. The well-lit hallway was empty. Jack frowned, then turned back to see if the door had opened yet. Seeing that the answer was no, he sighed and began to walk down the hall.

“’M not likin’ this at all…” he mumbled, glancing around suspiciously as he walked. The room beyond the hallway was a dining room with a table that stretched from one end of the room to the other. It was just as well lit as the entranceway beforehand, and there was even a bowl of fresh fruit placed on the table.

Seems like there should be people here, Jack thought, glancing at the table set for what seemed like a huge party.

“Hallo? Someone?” He called, grabbing an apple from the bowl and taking a bite out of it. It tasted like- wax? He grimaced and placed the apple back on the bowl, the bite mark tactfully placed downwards.

“Is there anyone here? Hallo?”

He wandered through the brightly lit rooms, calling out and looking for some signs of life.
There was none to be found.

More then a bit worried now, he turned a corner- and stopped. A door lay at each end of the hallway. Tentatively, Jack walked towards the one to his left. As he approached it, he saw that it was a door almost exactly like the one at the entrance of the house. The only difference was the green light that came out from beneath it… Jack shuddered and backed away, turning around to look at the other door. This one had vertical stripes carved into its sandy wood, making it look almost like a cage. It was propped open slightly. As he looked at it, Jack heard a low growling and something that sounded like sobbing emitting from whoever- or whatever- was behind it. He backed away from this one faster until he found himself back in between the two.

“Well, what’s it ta be, Jack?” he said to himself quietly, rubbing the back of his neck and looking from one door to the other.

~~~~
A quick apology for the roughness of the chapter.

As for the DP- Well? What is it to be? What shall he do?
There's doors, and there's hallways.

And, just to make things clear, Jack will be the main character we will follow.

For now.

Thanks for reading!


Last edited by Phantomfan on Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:14 am; edited 1 time in total

#21:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:22 am
    —
The striped door is propped open, the other one isn't, but it sounds like there's a creature inside. I'd pick up the bowl of wax fruit, and throw an apple through the door that is ajar.

Then be ready to open up the door with the green light behind, to trap whatever beast might come pounding out of the striped door.


I like this story although I found the switch of POV a little confusing. The character that was in 2nd person - I guess we're assuming this is who is sobbing, or perhaps Snow White?

Anyway I'm sure all will become clear as we move forward as Jack. Smile

#22:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:23 am
    —
Crunchyfrog wrote:
I like this story although I found the switch of POV a little confusing. The character that was in 2nd person - I guess we're assuming this is who is sobbing, or perhaps Snow White?


Heh- Sorry about that. I gues I should have explained that better-

The person written in second person actually has... "embodied" Jack at the moment. We're just seeing what's going on from the third person point of view- for reasons that will become clearer later.
If Jack gets killed off, (a very big possibility) "You" will have to make another door choice- and will embody a different character.

As to who is behind the door? Well, if Jack choses the right path, we'll figure that out rather soon! Very Happy

Thanks for reading!


Last edited by Phantomfan on Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

#23:  Author: BlackAmaranth PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:16 pm
    —
Hm, this is a tough one...well, I say go for the less threatening door, the one with the light (assuming it's not locked). If he gets killed by...whatever's behind the open door first, we'll never find out what's behind door #2, now will we? Smile If there's nothing behind the glowing door, or if it's locked...well, maybe Mr. Growly can help Jack out...or, you know, swallow him whole Smile

#24:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:07 pm
    —
In most worlds, i'd say go for the green light.

After all, Green light means go right? And in most worlds, light is a lot less ominous than growlyness.

But i think you could turn green light into something a lot more horrible than any growling beast, so i say go for the growly one.

#25:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:57 pm
    —
DeadManWalking wrote:

But i think you could turn green light into something a lot more horrible than any growling beast


Most people would find that worrying. Very Happy

Thanks for your suggestions!!
Any more?

#26:  Author: SmeeLocation: UK PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:39 am
    —
Hmmm... that was a most entertaining prologue, Phanty! As others have said, very dark and creepy.

Sadly I don't think you've managed to hold on to that enticing start completely, although you still ask a lot of intriguing questions with your early chapters, certainly enough that it kept me reading.

Ok - so we're Jack now, beanstalk expert extraordinare, pretty handy with an axe in an emergency!

I like Crunchy's idea with throwing the fruit in. I also think we should be looking to arm ourselves. Maybe this big ol' mansion had those suits of armour lining some of the walls in the dining room we past through. Perhaps they have a sword or axe we could take. Alternatively, there could be a pair of crossed swords mounted on the wall over the fireplace in the dining room. Typical decoration for that sort of place.

Quote:
table set for what seemed like a huge party


At the very least we could take a few knives from the table settings you mentioned.

Once armed with something sharp I would be much more inclined to head into the thorn-door. We've past through one thorn door already, best to continue that trend (so long as we remember doing the first).

Happy Writing Smile

#27:  Author: SabrielLocation: Wherever Garth Nix is being read. PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:24 am
    —
I don't know about anyone else, but I found Jack's Accent absolutely hilarious.

Maybe it was just me.

ANYways, nice chapter! I agree with Crunchy- the POV switch was a bit confuzzling. Your explanation is understandable, though.

Dp- He should head for the growly door, if only to look briefly and then run away. Perhaps arming himself with the fruit bowl. I liked that idea.

#28:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 4:49 pm
    —
So did i! it WAS Hilarious!

#29:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 1:54 pm
    —
Thanks for your comments, Smee and Sabriel!

I'm gonna leave it open for another day, then put up the poll.

#30:  Author: Head EaterLocation: Hovering above your sssssskull PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:53 pm
    —
Thissss sssstorygame isss worthy of HEM.

Congratulationsssss!

#31:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:08 am
    —
Congrats Phan!

#32:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:26 am
    —
Wooot! Thanks guys!

And while we're at it-

Pooooolllll is up!

#33:  Author: SmeeLocation: UK PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 2:01 am
    —
I voted for option 2... although note :

Quote:
Once armed with something sharp I would be much more inclined to head into the thorn-door.


I want to be armed!

#34:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:54 am
    —
OOOOH

is heading toward the glowy door with a weapon an option? Cuz if so i F5 Smee and would like to change my vote (originally option 1) to that.

#35:  Author: somecyberpersonLocation: A place. PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:56 pm
    —
REALLY good comical/dark reinterpretation of fairy tales, Phan. Good job. The prologue reminds me of the Saw and Hostel series. I love it. Do another torture scene!

#36:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:46 pm
    —
Poll is closed!

Head towards the stripey door with a kind of weapon in hand? (fruit, spare knife, etc) 50% [ 3 ]
Head towards the door with teh glowy light? 16% [ 1 ]

Head towards the stripey door with NO weapon? 16% [ 1 ]
Find a duck? (Author's option) 16% [ 1 ]

There is indeed a tie between option one and option two- I'll do my best to work with both.

Thanks for voting!

(Don't worry- more torture scenes are expected.)

#37:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:18 pm
    —
And now while you wait to hear Jack's fate.... Very Happy

An interlude!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It was the cold that woke her.
Deep in a delightful dream about her and her hubby, Rapunzel’s brow furrowed when she felt the cold wind wafting around her legs. Reluctant to leave her personal heaven, she remained half asleep- until the cold got too prominent.

Rapunzel opened her eyes angrily, sitting up and opening her mouth to chastise the lazy servant who had left the windows open- when she realized she was outside, lying on the railing
that surrounded the balcony, directly outside her bedroom. The sky was an abnormal pitch black.

A voice sounded out of the darkness.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

With a gasp, Rapunzel straightened, frozen with fear that the tone of the familiar voice. A cackle sounded behind her, the sound of the insane. Rapunzel felt rather then saw something being tossed over her head and landing on her shoulders in a seemingly circular form. The voice repeated, this time extremely close to her ear.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

“Why are-” She began- but was cut off as that something tightened around her neck. Rapunzel coughed, frantically clawing at the rope of golden hair that was strangling her.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair,” the voice cackled in her ear. “That I may climb-” The terrified girl suddenly felt a clawed hand pressing into her back, pushing her off the balcony- “the golden stair.”

Rapunzel fell with a choked scream, sound mad cackling piercing the air. The last thing she saw was the stars glinting coldly in the night- and then a flash of red as the knot around her neck tightened with a jerk, breaking her neck.

~~~~

Well, there you have it. Another Princess (of a sort) dead. What does that leave for Jack...?

Comments of any type are appreciated! The next chapter will be up soon!!

#38:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:20 pm
    —
Pretty cool!

sounds like the witch in the original fairy tale came back for some vengeance.

Waiting for more!

and btw, WOOT FIRST POST!!!!!

#39:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:50 am
    —
Ah, now we have a link to the prologue! The plot thickens. Very Happy

Mwahahaa! Come on, what's behind that stripey door? Very Happy

#40:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:50 pm
    —
Thanks for waiting! Term papers are a b***.
Enjoy!


Just a quick warning- there is a small bit of swearing in the next chapter. Apoligies if it offends you.


Chapter 3

Jack looked at the two doors, frowning. Both seemed to beckon enticingly. The one exuding the
green light looked extremely foreboding, but the sounds from the stripy one didn’t seem any more promising.

I’d feel better wit a weapon or something in my hand… he thought, clenching his empty fist.

Minutes later, Jack was back in place, a large knife taken from the table in his hand.

He took a deep breath and turned to his left- towards the greenish door. As he stepped towards it, he held the knife out in front of him, ready for any type of assault. He reached for the snake-shaped handle of the door, only to jump back with a yelp as the handle suddenly glowed a fierce white, a sharp hissing sound filling the air.

Jack lowered his hand- and the hissing stopped, the handle losing its light and returning to a dull silver. He raised his hand again, and the hissing came back, the handle glowing white again. Jack tilted his head, thinking. He moved his hand slowly towards the door and winced as the hissing grew sharper and the light brighter, then moved his hand back noticing the decrease in the light and the sharp sound.

“Mighty strange,” Jack muttered, lowering his hand. It seemed that that door was not going to permit itself to be opened.

With a sigh, Jack turned instead to the other door. Loud sobbing emitted from it, with the occasional loud growl. There must be someone who needs help! Jack thought, panicking.
He looked at the knife in his hand.

“‘S gotta be me, I suppose,” he said out loud in an attempt to calm his nerves. He tossed the knife from hand to hand as he walked closer to the door. A step or two away from it, he stopped and took a deep breath. With a loud yell, he threw the door open and brandished the knife flamboyantly, eyes searching wildly for the savage creature-

His mouth dropped open.

A man was huddled in the center of the room, tears streaming down his face. He was barechested, wearing pants that looked like they were made of a black, furry skin- like a panther skin, with a long tail protruding from his backside. There appeared to be a color around his neck, and there were even two cat ears poking out of his long mussed up hair.

The man had glanced up as Jack barged in, and now he leapt to his feet.

“Who are you?” He demanded angrily, wiping his eyes quickly and striking a defiant pose.

“I’m…um… from the land o’ Teanta,” Jack stammered, forgotten knife dropping to the ground.

“M’name’s Jack.”

“From… Teanta? But why are you here?” The man tilted his head, thinking. From this angle, Jack could see that the ears weren’t real- they were attached to a headband that was half-hidden in the man’s wild blonde hair. Before Jack could splutter out an answer, the man’s eyes widened with sudden realization. “Oh thank Myra, you’ve come to rescue me,” he gasped, eyes welling up with tears again.

Jack took a step backwards in shock. “What? Rescue ye from what?”

“From her!” The man stepped forwards, fervor in his eyes. “She’s kept me here for years!”

“Her?” Jack looked at the man, curiosity piqued, all thoughts of fleeing gone. “Who be her?”

The man sighed and sat back down. He looked up at Jack and motioned for Jack to come sit by him. Jack hesitated- then walked over slowly and sat a few feet away from this strange man. There was a sadness in this man’s eyes that intrigued him.

“Where to start…” the man muttered, rubbing his neck.

“Well, the beginning’s usually a good place,” Jack suggested tentatively.

The man smiled. “My name’s Gustav,” he began. “I’m currently under power of one of the most powerful sorceress’ ever, and she thinks I’m her- I’m not really sure. Her pet- or even lover, I think.” the man explained in a heavy voice. “Her real name is Belle, but she likes to go by the name of Beauty.”

“’Nd, she’s the one who put…” Jack motioned towards the strange costume the man was wearing.

Gustav nodded. “My true name is Gustav, but she calls me Beast,” he explained.

Jack winced as he envisioned a hunched over ugly hag. “So… this Belle has kept you tied up here? Why?”

“No idea,” Gustav said with a shrug, tugging on the collar around his neck. “She treats me like a dog.”

“But a well pampered, one at least,” Jack muttered, eyeing the expensive furniture that filled the room.

Before Gustav could respond, a musical voice suddenly rang through the air, carrying the same tone Jack would use if he were calling his dog. “Oh Beast, dearie!”

Gustav’s eyes widened in horror. “Shit, she’s here!” Jack leapt to his feet, searching frantically for a hiding place.

Before he could bolt however, the door opened. Jack’s jaw dropped for the second time in minutes.

A tall, shapely woman stood in the doorway. She was wearing a deep purple dress with a deep neckline edged in gold. Her arms were covered in black netting, three or four rings on each hand- one with a large green stone. Wavy black hair down to her waist, held back with a glittering clip in the shape of a butterfly.

“It’s supper time, lovey- ” the woman stopped as she saw Jack. A strange look passed over her face.

~~~~~

Well, we've met another fairytale couple, and we've seen what's behind the stripy door.
The only question is-
what is Belle's reaction to seeing Jack?

(while I have a bit of time, I'd like to get the next chapter in pretty soon. Let's get those comments in!!!!)
Thanks for reading!

#41:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:35 pm
    —
NEW PET!!!!

I lol'ed at your interpretation of a much beloved disney classic.

twas great.

so Belle is quite the sexual deviant. Didn't see that in the disney movie.

(Also, can i just say, for your disturbment and my amusement, that before we saw Belle i was expecting someone with a lot of tight black leather and a whip of some sort?)

so anyways. You have my general reaction, and my suggestion.

Also, WOOT FIRST POST

#42:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:32 am
    —
Haha, like the headband with the ears on it. Smile

Well, her reaction? Well, I've got a thing about large green stones. Wink It wouldn't have been mentioned if it didn't have some sort of power attached to it of sorts. I say she tries to use it to mesmerise him in an attempt to capture him. After all, two pets are better than one. Very Happy

#43:  Author: SmeeLocation: UK PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:53 am
    —
Hey Phantom,

Yay, another chapter! Good work. Smile

Quite a few little typo's in there, but nothing major. The one that's sticking in my head from reading it this morning was 'collar'... did you mean to say he was wearing a collar, because I think you spelt it color.

Hmmm, he doesn't seem to be manacled in any way, nor does his costume appear to be permanently fixed to him. Then again, if all he has to wear, to prevent being naked, is the panther fur pants, then perhaps he wears the rest simply because it works better as an outfit Wink

Either he's a more willing pet than he lets on, or the control is in his mind in some way, suggesting magicial, or hypnotic powers. But then he should be a much more convincing beast than he is if her powers were of any strength. Where's the stomping around, growling etc? It must be the collar, and all it does is simply prevent him from leaving the room. The rest he must do under fear for his life or something.

So what does she do on seeing us? We aren't sure from the text if either ourselves or Gustav is particularly attractive, or whether that's a quality for determining her taste in pets. Assuming her role from this 'tale as old as time', she has no delusions of there being two beasts. Perhaps she dresses us up as a teacup or dancing candlestick Wink

Happy Writing. Smile

#44:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:38 pm
    —
Smee wrote:

Either he's a more willing pet than he lets on, or the control is in his mind in some way, suggesting magicial, or hypnotic powers. But then he should be a much more convincing beast than he is if her powers were of any strength. Where's the stomping around, growling etc? It must be the collar, and all it does is simply prevent him from leaving the room. The rest he must do under fear for his life or something.


Very observant, Smee. Be sure to keep that in mind for later chapters! Very Happy

Thanks for all your comments, guys!

Any more before the poll goes up?

#45:  Author: BlackAmaranth PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:10 pm
    —
Eee-hee-hee, me likies Very Happy So, if one of the princesses have gone mad with power, who's to say none of the others have either? Guess we'll have to wait and see. Oh, and I don't think Beauty will kill Jack outright...from what we know of her, she'd probably much rather toy with him a little first...giving him some time to find out more about what's going on, no? Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean Jack will survive Laughing

#46:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:32 pm
    —
Thanks for your suggestions!
Poll is uuuuuup!
The common opinion was "New pet!", so I just put up how this would come about.

#47:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:32 pm
    —
Lesee- we have a tie, though the "Authors option" was supposed to only be so I could see the results.. I should have made that more clear.oopy
If whoever voted there would like to change their vote, please tell me!

Any more votes before we close?

#48:  Author: BlackAmaranth PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:20 pm
    —
Oops, I voted author's choice. Switch to teacup please Smile

#49:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:26 pm
    —
Thankees Amaranth!

Poll is closed- and Jack will be dressed in a teacup or dancing candlestick.

Chapter will be up later this week!

#50:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:15 pm
    —
Chapter 4

Jack gulped as the woman’s eyes fixed on him. They were dark, swirling pools, like vortexes of liquid ebony.

“Well, well,” she said quietly, sounding rather surprised. “What have we here?”

Too late, Jack tried to turn away from those hypnotic eyes only to find himself frozen in place as the sorceress slowly walked towards him. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jack noticed that Gustav had gotten down on all fours, back arched and hissing like a cat.

“Good kitty,” the woman said, keeping her eyes fixed on Jack. Gustav gave a kind of meow-bark, then bent down to tear at the shapeless hunk of meat that had appeared out of nowhere. The woman was now directly in front of Jack- a fact that he suddenly realized as she grabbed his face between her smooth, pale hands, tilting his head up to stare directly in her
eyes.

“I am Beauty,” she purred, and Jack found himself luxuriating in the rich darkness of her voice.
“A sorceress like none you have ever met.”

“Well, tek’nikly, I ain’t ever met one before-“ Jack stammered, finding comprehensible thought hard to come by.

The woman’s eyes widened, then narrowed as she pushed her face closer to Jack’s until they were only inches apart. “You haven’t, have you.” She replied. “And who exactly is you?”

Jack found he was too tongue-tied to reply, as the gorgeous face in front of him required too much gaping at to pay attention.

Beauty sighed, the heavy sent of her breath washing over Jack and sending him deeper into a trance. “You won’t be giving me any information willingly then, it seems,” she muttered to herelf. Suddenly she smiled, revealing glistening white teeth. “Let’s try unwilling then.”

Quick as a flash, the woman closed the last few inches between her and Jack’s face, darkly painted lips pressing against Jack’s own. His eyes widened in surprise as thoughts whirled around his head, like ‘What the hell was this weird woman doing?’, then they slowly closed as all independent thought ceased to exist.

~~
A scene suddenly appeared in his mind’s eye. A crow, flying down the side of a tower, something glittering and gold catching its eye. It landed on a roundish perch and began pecking at the golden rope. A burst of laughter disrupted its pecking, and it shrieked indignantly as its perch jerked and fell to the ground, forcing the crow to fly off. It circled in the air, watching disinterestedly as a hunched shape at the top of the tower stowed a bit of the rope into its cloak, cackling all the while. It raised its arms into the air, laughter mounting in volume and pitch, then disappeared with a crack and a flash of darkness, sending the crow to fly higher in a panic with another squawking fit.

Once the ground seemed quiet, the crow circled lower and lower to land on its previous perch of a head covered in golden hair. It walked around a bit, pecked at the fixed open blue eyes, then- finding nothing of interest, flew away.

~~
Jack returned to his own conciousness and began to contribute to the passion of the kiss with a thrill of excitement- until he realized that there was nothing to wrap his tongue around. He opened his eyes in confusion, and saw the woman sitting in a chair across the room, watching him amusedly, stroking Gustav’s head lying in her lap. Jack quickly pulled his tongue back in his mouth and looked down at the floor, cheeks bright red in embarrassment.

“So,” the woman said. “You were sent here by Them, weren’t you… Jack.”

He glanced up, befuddled brain trying to form a complete sentence. “How-“ he began.

“-Did I know?” she finished, grinning. “I know everything about you, Jack.”

“Um-“

“You honestly think I wanted to kiss you?” The woman laughed- a sinister sound that sent shivers down his spine. “It is merely a way for me to delve into the minds of men quickly and painlessly. Though some often take it a bit too far, don’t they, Beastie?” she cooed, ruffling Gustav’s hair as he looked up at her with adoring eyes.

Jack gulped, remembering Gustav’s frantic pleas for help. The woman’s presence in the room had completely changed this man’s demeanor… Why?

“Ah yes- In case you were wondering what you saw earlier while I was- erm- examining you,” Beauty said, looking up from Gustav. “In return for your memories, you were privy to my most recent one. Something about a crow, I believe.” She scratched Gustav again, leaving Jack to squirm in fear of what was about to happen.

“So now, Jack.” She said suddenly, breaking his train of thought. “You have been sent here by Them. It seems, though, that even you don’t know why…” she trailed off, lost in thought. Jack waited in silence, painfully aware of this woman’s power over others. After a few minutes, she shrugged. “Ah well- I needed a new feather duster anyways.”

Jack blinked- looked down, and gave a very lady-like wail. His old, comfortable overalls and shirt had been replaced with a black and white, very tight strapless dress that flared out into a huge feathered spread reaching the ground and trailing behind him.

“What in all th’ bloody ‘ell is this?” Jack shouted, pulling at the dress frantically.

The woman shrugged. “If you’re going to be here investigating for Them, then I want to make your- short” the woman licked her lips-“stay as entertaining for me as possible. It’s been ages since we’ve had any company now, hasn’t it Lovey.” She frowned at Jack’s attempt to tear the dress off, a process consisting of pulling, tugging, a great deal of bawling, and even biting at the seemingly indestructible fabric.

Beauty frowned. “Do stop yanking on that dress- it took me a while to make, and I would be extremely displeased if it was ripped.” Her dark eyes glinted. Though she spoke lightly, something in the tone hinted at dark and cruel punishments if the commands were not followed. Jack froze, hands against his chest in a rather inappropriate manner.

“Much better.” She remarked, still stroking the purring Gustav’s head. “Now, as to why you are here- a fact that I don’t believe you are aware of.” She thought for a minute before answering. “You have been sent here by the Storytellers, no doubt to investigate the latest deaths of their beloved princesses.”

Jack gaped, hands still frozen in groping motions. “Th’ princesses are dead?”

“At the moment, only two,” Beauty said disdainfully, as if two were not enough. “I myself witnessed the death of Lady Rapunzel of the land Reusatiezels Toren just a few moments ago, from the eyes of one of my Ravens. I was not able to discern the murderer, however.” Her voice grew louder, as if talking to someone in another room. “So there- I am NOT the one killing off those little ditzes.”

Jack just stared at her, mouth almost hitting the floor. She looked back at him with a snort of disgust. “Oh please- whoever is getting rid of those aweful creatures is doing this world a favor. Now shut that huge mouth of yours.”

With a snap, Jack complied. His mind was whirling with questions. “What-” he began.

“Tssst!” The woman cut him off sharply. “No speaking unless you are spoken to.” It was that tone again… Jack quickly shushed, clamping his hand over his mouth to still any stray sentences.

“Now…” Beauty leaned forwards, staring at him intensely and pushing Gustav off her lap. “What shall I do with you?”

~~~~
So! What SHALL she do with him?

Thanks for waiting!
(and a quick note- Reusatiezels Toren is simplified Dutch for Huge-Ass tower. Very Happy )


Last edited by Phantomfan on Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

#51:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:21 pm
    —
Isn't that rather similar to the last question?

also, quasi-French Maid?

Shocked

Your mind disturbs me.

I'd say give the cat scratching post, but that doesn't quite work, cuz he's a feather duster.

Not sure what advice to give; I'm sure you could come up with something more twisted in that serpentine brain of yours.

#52:  Author: Lady of the ShadowsLocation: In the Valley of Shadows...Not such a bad place to be. PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:10 pm
    —
On DMW's note, Maybe he could act as a cat toy (though maybe after something else, like when she's run out of ideas for him, perhaps?). I'd laugh so hard at the image of Gustav running wildly after Jack. Laughing

Can't wait for the next chapter!

#53:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:23 am
    —
Heheh! Everso...slightly...disturbing... Smile

Feather duster, eh? I think probably she's going to have him do a lot of dusting among some very sticky cobwebs.

#54:  Author: BlackAmaranth PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:48 pm
    —
Heh, methinks Beauty has a soft spot for roleplaying, no? Cool anywho, as I said before (in a not-so-well-thought-out DP), she isn't the type to kill Jack outright. She might want to know why "They" sent Jack, and how much of a threat he is to her. Or maybe she doesn't care...depends on who They are, and whether or not they're her enemies. I don't know Embarrassed But in the meantime, I suppose she can just play with Jack a bit. Perhaps have him and Gustav put on a little show for her Smile if she's into that sort of thing, of course...

#55:  Author: SabrielLocation: Wherever Garth Nix is being read. PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:05 am
    —
My. Very... interesting, Phan.

Personally, it seems to me that Beauty has been hinting towards Jack having a "short" stay and the like- I think that whatever she does, she should end up killing/inconveniencing him.
Though I do like the idea of acting as a scratching post.

#56:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:41 pm
    —
Thanks for your patience, ladies and gentlemen. I think I'm going to try and get this one revived again.
Hopefully we won't have any more 4 month long waits...

Any more suggestions before I put the poll up?

#57:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:58 am
    —
OH MY GOD IT'S ALIVE.

Does that count as a suggestion?

Maybe he finds himself furniturelike, unable to move without someone moving. Kinda like a backwards living furniture thing.

#58:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:08 am
    —
Well what do you know, a poll is up.

#59:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:56 pm
    —
Aww was the furniture idea too late? Voted.

#60:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:20 pm
    —
Poll is closed!

Hmmm... What to do with Jack?
Interrogate him 25% [ 1 ]
Cat Toy!! 75% [ 3 ]
Send him out to "dust" 0% [ 0 ]
Put on a show with Gustav 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Kang, Tikanni Corazon

It being Winter Break and all, and the fact that I haven't touched this story in ages, I hope to get a few chapters of this up soon, if there is still intrest of course.
Expect one by next week!!

#61:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:43 am
    —
HOLY CARP SOMETHING HAPPENED >.<

#62:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:39 pm
    —
he he... I get an image of a fish with a halo...

I caught up, as promised, though not in the timeframe I'd hoped cuz I forgot to get to this until reminded by your last post. Anyhoo... LOVE it so far! You have a great sense of creativity and your writing is nice and vivid and fairly cleanly edited (it is now anyhow). Looking forward to the next installment!

#63:  Author: Tikanni CorazonLocation: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!). PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:56 am
    —
I've been hoping that this one would start up again soon! This was the very first SG that I read when I started on IF two months ago, though I wasn't brave enough to make a post back then!

Can't wait for chapter 5!
Smile

#64:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:40 pm
    —
Thanks for being so patient, everyone. Here is the newest chapter- the last one of the decade.
This chapter is going to be a bit weird- bear with me here. It is supposed to be split up into three kind of segments, but since they're so short, I'm just posting them all at once. Hopefully it will clear up a few questions. Happy reading!!


Chapter 5

Jack gulped as he felt Beauty’s gaze fixate on him. He quickly averted his gaze, staring at a single floor tile with a single-minded intensity as he felt a bead of sweat running down his back, staining the satin of the dress as it went.

After a long moment, Beauty smiled. “I do believe I’ve thought of just the thing to do with you.”

“Really?” Jack said, hopes rising- only to wither again as he caught a glimpse of Beauty’s smile. It was a cold, ruthless smile, like that of a cat eyeing the mouse it has just cornered, making the boy’s breath catch in his throat.

“A-a-a-and what’d that be, miss?” Jack stammered, blood running cold. That smile could not mean well for him.

Beauty just continued smiling- if that’s what her expression could be called. “Something useful… and entertaining.” She broke of her gaze on Jack for a brief moment, giving Gustav an affectionate pat on the head as she murmured, “Won’t it be, my pet.” Gustav only gazed back at his with adoring eyes.

She stood suddenly, causing the startled Gustav to jump up with a loud bark. The sorceress turned back to face Jack, tone of voice changing to a brisk and business-like tone.

“You see John,” she began.

“Jack,” the boy corrected automatically, before realizing what he had just done and immediately covering his mouth with his hands, fearing punishment for his interruption.

Beauty raised an eyebrow, but continued. “Jack, it’s been ages since either of us have had anyone to cater to our menial needs, and we have both suffered for it. Especially poor Gustav, who’s been so lonely without a playmate. So you shall now officially be my servant…”

The rest of Beauty’s speech was drowned out by Jack’s sigh of relief. Being a servant was something he could handle. After all, that’s pretty much all he was at home. Plus, he’d undoubtedly be able to find a way out of this place. He remembered Gustav’s pleas for help earlier- maybe they’d be able to find a way to escape together.

“You’re first task-” Beauty’s voice broke through his thoughts. Jack straightened hurriedly, ready to be ordered to clean all the windows or sweep all the floors or whatever it was this crazy lady wanted of him.

“-is to play ‘toy’ for Gustav.”

It took Jack a good three seconds for these words to penetrate his confused brain. The meaning of these words hit him like a sack of bricks as he saw the human-playing-animal thing called Gustav crouching down and growling like a tiger about to pounce. Jack’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. He looked around frantically, picked a direction, and ran.

Or rather, he tried to. The dress Beauty had forced him into wasn’t exactly something that was easy to move in. Nonetheless, he tried. He actually managed to stumble-run a few steps before a heavy body slammed into the middle of his back, nearly breaking his spine in half.
Jack crashed to the floor, Gustav crouched on top of him. Of course, had Jack been clothed in his regular garb, that would have been hall that had happened. However, due to the added complications of an extremely silky fabric and Gustav’s added momentum, the two of them were sent sliding across the floor, smashing into the wall. Positioned as he was, Jack took the whole blow to the head. Stars erupted in front of his eyes, and red fog began to obscure the corners of his vision. He sat up slowly, only to fall back against the wall with a yell as Gustav pounced on him, teeth bared.

Dazed, Jack could only stare at the thing he had thought was human, realizing that the man had completely changed. There wasn’t a single trace of humanity in the poor man’s eyes- his gaze now only the instinctive gaze of an animal.

Jack shook his head, starting to come out of his confused state, just as Gustav let out another growl and bent his head, grasping Jack’s neck between his very human jaws. Jack shrieked in pain and fear as Gustav shook his head, tossing Jack’s head around like a rag-doll and ripping out his throat in the process.

The last thing Jack heard as his vision faded to a blissful black was the sound of Beauty’s crazed laughter.

~~~~~~
A bowl of water holding an image. A bloody corpse laying against the wall, throat ripped out, eyes frozen open and glazed over with the recent death. A hand passes over the bowl.
The image dissipates.

“One has failed,” a familiar dark voice issues from beneath a hood.

Another voice, louder and more flamboyant. “But three are left.”

The hand passes over the bowl again. A pair of faces appears, practically identical, both with blank stares that manage to curdle the blood.

The second voice speaks again. “The next two are ready. Shall we go send our spirit off to its new hosts?”

Fangs glint from underneath the hood in a semblance of a smile. “Yes, let’s.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You find yourself lying on a cold, hard floor. Eyes closed, you do your best to figure out what just happened. It takes a few seconds, but it all comes rushing back. You remember being in a huge castle, talking to a sorceress, and then pain as someone ripped your throat…

Your eyes jerk open, and you find yourself back in the strange room full of doors. The magician and hooded figure are standing in front of you, watching. You clamber to your feet, confused and wanting answers.

Before you can demand an explanation however, the magician holds up a hand, stifling your outburst. “You desire answers, we know,” he says, flinging his bright red cape away from him. The woman merely gazes at you.

“We sent Jack to find out just who is disrupting our land by killing our characters,” he explains, voice loud and commanding.

“Yes, but what does that have to do with me?” You ask, frustrated.

The magician grins, revealing bright white teeth. “We needed someone not of our world to investigate for Us. And who better then you?”

The woman speaks. “Jack was your host. For a while, you were Jack, and Jack was you.”

“By traveling to the sorceress’ house, you have provided us with some very useful information,” the magician adds.

“And killed Jack…” you murmur to yourself, remembering his painful death.

The magician nods, but it is the woman who replies. “Yes. And you will die once more and choose two more doors before you complete your goal.”

There is a brief silence as you process this information.

“And so,” the magician continues, arms gesturing grandly. “It is time for you to chose another door, to continue your hunt. But before you do, We must remind you that you have only two more chances before We must send you back to your own world.”

“So choose wisely,” the woman says as she slowly fades back into the mist.

The magician follows suit, twirling his cape and disappearing in a flash of light.

You are once again alone in this mysterious room of doors. It is time to chose again.

~~~~~~~~~
Hopefully that all made sense... I did my best to clear up some questions that I knew were circling your minds.

So anyways- we need another door! Let's get some descriptions, just like last time!

As always, comments and critiques are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

#65:  Author: Tikanni CorazonLocation: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!). PostPosted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:06 pm
    —
Was not disappointed Phan! Really good chapter! Very Happy

As for the door, what about a door that looks perfectly innocent, just made of plain oak, but with an orb of wood set into the centre. When the door is approached, the orb opens up into an eye, and a soothing, hypnotic voice draws you closer, telling you to open the door. Something in the back of your mind tells you that you shouldn't do it, but you can't stop yourself, and can only watch helplessly, as your hand reaches out, turns the intricatly detailed door knob, and opens the door.

Or mabye one that looks more inviting. A large square door, painted all over with a colourful mural, portraying green fields, full of flowers, a little stream flowing past, with deer and bunnies drinking from it, all beneath a beautiful summer sky. As you go nearer to the door, the picture seems to come alive before your eyes. Tempted by the thought of this being a reality on the other side, you reach out, and open the door, only to find what is on the other side to be quite the opposite of the mural. But it is too late, the choice has been made.

Hope these are okay, Phan! So glad you decided to carry on with this one! Can't wait for chapter 6! Wink

#66:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:17 am
    —
huh. That DOES clear up some questions. although I am very sad that the magician and the woman lacked the same flamboyance they had earlier.

Also, the next TWO are ready? How would we, erm, I?, the singular protagonist anyway possess two bodies?

As for the door, I say a door frame made of flame of purest white, brilliant, yet comforting. No door settles in that frame, but you can't see through it. The flames are so bright as to blind you when you attempt to look through the doorway, though you feel no discomfort when you gaze on its pristine glow. You feel no heat from the flames as you walk forward, though the flames flare and flicker with a bright hunger. Only when you walk through the door do you feel the heat, like the inside of an oven, slam down upon your shoulders.

#67:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:59 pm
    —
Wooo, interesting!

I think a trapdoor in the floor is the way to go. The wood is rotten, the iron hinges on it rusted and creaky. Smile

#68:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:14 pm
    —
Score, thank you guys!

And yeah, Deady- I apologize for the lack of flamboyant-ness of the two. Once they got down to a personal, explaining level, it was a lot harder to make them all aloof and flamboyant.

Hooray for all the door ideas!! Any more?

#69:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:13 pm
    —
One doesn't appear to be a door at all at first, but rather, a proud old oak tree. But as you look closer, you spy a hole at the base of its roots that looks both invitingly curious, and darkly ominous.

Another is less a door than a portal, a wrought silver snake that feeds at the end of its own tail. In the man-sized gap between the silver scales, a billowing shadow surges and seethes, beckoning like a whisper to step through.

#70:  Author: Shady StoatLocation: England PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:00 am
    —
This door is black. Solid black, possibly a metal, but almost frictionless to the touch. Its surface is an ever-changing mosaic of words, appearing and disappearing too fast to be read, at random times and places. Some of them are just printed words, stamped into the surface of the black only to disappear a moment later. Some are scrawled in panicked handwriting, smudged with something that could be tears. Some are bold and angry and red, as if shouting a warning to stay away. Perhaps we can catch a single word, here and there, but nothing that makes sense.

There is no handle, just a block of wood slid through two brackets, one either side of the door. Almost as if it were in place to keep something out, rather than to let us in.

#71:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:22 pm
    —
Score, more readers!

Nice doors, everyone... hopefully I'll be able to twist them to suit my purposes.

And Deady- to answer your question- we'll see everything from the two-person view, but not really... it will all make sense once the chapter is written, don't worry.

Poll is up!!

#72:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:32 pm
    —
C'mon guys, I need some more votes! Pretty please?

#73:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:03 am
    —
WOOT I'm back!

And the winner is...

Second door choice! Which one to pick? (see posts for more details)

Deady's door [ 1 ]

Crunchy's Trapdoor [ 4 ]
Thunderbird's Tree door [ 0 ]
Thunderbird's Snake door [ 0 ]
Shady's Black door [ 0 ]
A swordfish! (author's option) [ 1 ]



Crunchy's Door!
The wood is rotten, the iron hinges on it rusted and creaky.


Thanks for reading, guys. Hopefully such a long gap won't throw EVERYONE off...

Next chapter will be up sometime next week, I promise.

#74:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:05 pm
    —
Haha, good to hear it!

#75:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:41 pm
    —
wow, nearly unanimous. And I didn't even realize I was still up to date with this one! (though missed the poll as a result... that's ok though cuz I would feel strange voting for my own option(s) anyhow and CF's seems to have some unregrattable appeal.)

On a side note... Nice to see ya back Phan!

#76:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 7:28 pm
    —
*ignores mentioning the long period of time that has occured between the last chapter and now, hoping the readers won't notice*

Chapter 6

“I have to choose again, huh?” You mutter to yourself. You are quite reluctant to repeat the whole Jack experience, but these doors appear to be the only way out of this weird room... plus, if what that creepy woman said was to be believed, you need only choose twice more before you are free…

You begin to walk around the ever-shifting room, trying to guess which door would be the easiest and simplest choice. A large oak door looms before you, and as you gaze at it, a hypnotic murmur can be just barely heard- you hastily shut your ears to it and keep walking past. You see a door frame of white flame, and directly next to it, a black door made up of a whirlpool of words. You bypass both, and end up in front of a colorful, flowery door, complete with bunnies and deer frolicking in the grass. Attracted by the happy feelings it seems to emanate, you begin to walk towards it-

Only to feel your foot caught by something, sending you sprawling across the floor, the movement stirring up a whirlpool of fog. You slowly get to your knees and feel about with your hands trying to find the thing that tripped you- and there! Your hand brushes against it- a cold, metal ring imbedded in the floor.

As soon as you feel the ancient metal, the ground below gives way with a sickening crunch, and too late you realize that the ring was connected to a trapdoor- a door with wood so rotten it can no longer support your weight, and you are sent tumbling into the blackness below.
The familiar sense of dropping, coiling, twisting, splitting in half, falling----


“Are you alright, brother Hansel?”

“I am, sister Gretel.”

A girl and boy lay stretched out on the dirt path, as if they had just fallen from a great height. The girl rose to her feet, black and white dress falling into position, dark brown hair falling back into its perfect, childlike curls. The boy, slightly older but dressed in an outfit that matched the girl’s dress, followed suit.

They slowly looked around, surveying the barren landscape.

“Where are we, brother Hansel?”

“I don’t know, sister Gretel.”

The girl stopped her slow, mechanical examination of the surrounding landscape and pointed out into the distance.

“Look, brother Hansel. A castle.”

“I see it, sister Gretel.”

“Shall we go visit, brother Hansel?”

“We wouldn’t want to be rude, sister Gretel.”

“If we play with them, they won’t think us rude, brother Hansel.”

“Quite right, sister Gretel. Let’s go play.”

The children grasped each other’s hand and began walking towards the distant mountain range and castle, the slight breeze that passed through the barren valley not even stirring their clothes.

The children walked and walked, never slowing and never stopping. They followed the long, winding dirt path through the valley and over the mountains, down a twisting path to the castle steps. Up the steps they went, hand in hand, in that same unfaltering pace that had taken them all the way there.

They finally stopped when they reached the great castle doors.

“Well sister Gretel, shall we knock?”

“I think we should, brother Hansel.”

“Wouldn’t want to be rude, sister Gretel.”

Each lifted a hand and knocked on the large door.

The sound echoed through the castle, fading away slowly. A brief second after the sound had faded, a small panel opened within the door, revealing a pair eyes.

“Who is it?” the person behind the door asked warily.

“We are Hansel and Gretel,” the children said in perfect unison. “We want someone to play with us.”

“Shhhh!” the person hissed. “Not so loud!”

“What does he mean, brother Hansel?”

“I don’t know, sister Gretel.”

“Be quiet!” The man whispered, getting more and more worked up. “Look, we don’t have any place for children here-“

“But I want to play, brother Hansel.”

The man behind the door nearly had a fit. “Shhhhhh! We don’t want-” He gave up. “Look, if I let you in, do you promise to stay quiet?”

“Quiet as a mouse,” the children answered in unison.

“Fine. Can’t let two children out there to starve anyways…” The man pulled away from the door and shut the panel. A brief second later, the doors opened silently, as if on greased hinges. The children walked into the castle, still hand in hand.

Before them lay a great hall, with a dozen servants rushing about. They were all going about their daily duties, but with an air of fear and worry surrounding every action. Every step was carefully and slowly taken, every plate and dish placed down with the utmost care, so there was no more then a hushed murmur of people working.

As the children wandered in, a loud crash shattered the blanket of quiet. Everyone in the hall turned to the source of the noise; a young serving girl who had dropped her cleaning bucket. Water was everywhere, but no one paid any heed- they merely stood as if rooted to the spot, dishes half-placed, brooms still in the air, all staring at the unfortunate serving girl whose face was frozen with fear. Everything was still for a good ten seconds- no one even breathed.

Finally, there was a collective sigh of relief, and everyone unfroze and continued with their chores- all except the girl who had dropped the bucket. She still stood frozen, hands clapped over her mouth, eyes fixed on the bucket that had caused the commotion. Two guards appeared from another room, grabbed the girl by both arms and hurriedly escorted her out of the hall. Silent tears ran down the girl’s face, but not a sound escaped from her mouth.

The children watched the whole series of events, still standing hand in hand as the muffled undertone of servants at work resumed.

“Very strange, don’t you think brother Hansel?”

“Very strange indeed, sister Gretel.”

“What should we do now, brother Hansel?”


And there you have it folks. What SHOULD these creepy kids do?
As always, everything is welcome.

#77:  Author: DeadManWalking PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:23 pm
    —
I say make a really big noise.

That'll turn out really well!

Also, Hansel and Gretel are creepy as hell.

#78:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:37 pm
    —
Thank you Deady!

I was trying to model them after some sort of The Shining characters... Very Happy

#79:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:21 am
    —
Just bringing this back into people's radars.... Anyone else got any suggestions?

#80:  Author: Tikanni CorazonLocation: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!). PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:20 pm
    —
Good chapter Phan! Smile Sorry about the delay.

I say that they follow the guards and the servant girl. See where they take her, and if possible try to talk to her, and find out why everyone is so afraid to make any noise. Even if they don't get a chance to talk, finding out what happens to her might be a good enough source of information.

Look forward to the next one!

#81:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 6:48 pm
    —
I had similar thoughts on the matter but then realized... they shouldn't really be making a pest of themselves at the moment with such a less than hearty welcome. Go get some food perhaps.

I love the imagery in this chapter as I have throughout this tale. This DP, however, lacks a clear objective... nothing really to overcome so to speak. Perhaps you meant there to be but I didn't get it perhaps. That said, not all DPs can be great ones and the easy read was nice. Hoping to see this pick up further as I see a lot of fun lying in store here!

#82:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:37 am
    —
Loved the characters. Creepy but funny at the same time.

Uh, well, they'd come to play, but they've promised to be quiet. And the doorman alluded to there being food for them. Go find some food, or perhaps ask one of the servants where they can get some.

Good to see this SG back up and running again! Thumbs Up

#83:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:50 pm
    —
Thanks for the compliments, Thunderbird. And I know, it's a broad dp, but I do really want this bit to be open the readers.

And it's good to be back, Crunchy. Very Happy

Alright, so at the moment we've got:
Make a loud noise
Follow the servant girl
Get some food


Any more?

#84:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:12 am
    —
Poll is up, eerebodah.

#85:  Author: Crunchyfrog PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:59 pm
    —
Bump.

Don't miss this one, folks!

#86:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:32 am
    —
Thanks for the bump CF! I'm sorry I'd missed the poll so far Phan.

#87:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 9:45 pm
    —
This will be the last bump, I promise.

(I'm back, and I'd like to keep continue this story. So read it and vote, everyone!)

#88:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 10:40 pm
    —
Yay! So glad to see this continue Phan! Razz

#89:  Author: PhantomfanLocation: Deep within the music of the night PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 5:11 pm
    —
Poll is closed!

What should our good friends Hansel and Gretel do?

Make a loud noise [ 0 ]
Follow the servant girl (currently being dragged away) [ 1 ]

Go find some food [ 2 ]

And the new chapter will be up within the next week.

#90:  Author: ThunderbirdLocation: Rising from the ashes PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:37 pm
    —
Looking forward to it Phan!

#91: I Think...... Author: PopeAlessandrosXVIIILocation: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 4:50 am
    —
I read this one a while ago, and wanted more! So I'm gald to see it continueing Phan-fan! You can do it!



City of IF -> The Vault


output generated using printer-friendly topic mod. All times are GMT - 8 Hours

Page 1 of 1

Powered by phpBB © 2001,2002 phpBB Group