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Chapter 17: The Truth About Angelo

 
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Kalanna Rai
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 12:49 am    Post subject: Chapter 17: The Truth About Angelo Reply with quote

Well since I've been brainstorming half a dozen ideas for this chapter you're lucky I actually toyed around with several blending options. Sadly, the one option I couldn't put into the mix was the 'pluni past'...not without making this a double part chapter...ugh. Well...enjoy! *crosses fingers and mutters 'I hope this works'*
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Chapter Seventeen: The Truth About Angelo

Angelo slipped the amulet around his neck and strode into the briny darkness without so much as a backward glance at his young crew. As he crossed the threshold, passing between those massive doors, the light from his amulet abruptly snuffed. It looked as though he'd walked through a solid curtain of liquid darkness...and for all their eager curiosity the four young people weren't too keen on following him. Then Ambrois glanced down at Jade, remembered what coming this far had cost her, and straightened his spine. "I stopped being afraid of the dark when I was five...now is not the time to start again."

Ambrois started forward, Jade and Donovan quickly following until only Saul was left standing along in the glowing chamber. "Guys...guys...Oh here we go!" He said before plunging in after them. Saul waved his arms in front of him, totally blinded, and felt something soft and warm and...

"GET YOUR HAND OFF!" Saul quickly pulled the offending appendage back at Ambrois's shout, profoundly grateful he couldn't see what he'd just been touching. He wasn't sure he wanted to know...

"Sorry," he said hastily. "But I can't see a damned thing. Shit you'd think that there'd be a night-light or something in here."

There was a mirthless chuckle from in front of them, Angelo somewhere ahead in the darkness. "And God said 'Let there Be Light'..." It flared around them in an instant, an icy cold blue light that cast brilliant illumination but held no warmth...just like the slim man's eyes. "Let's get moving, I don't want to be down here any longer than I have to. Disrespecting the dead." He turned, the hem of his long red and black jacket flaring like the cape of some feudal lord as his hard footsteps echoed on the stone floor.

The crystals in this cavern seemed to be very different from those elsewhere in the complex, a different type entirely. Jade stuck close to Ambrois who kept a protective wing around her, Saul only a few short and nervous steps behind a very wary Donovan. "I don't like the smell of this place guys...it's wrong. Something horribly, terribly wrong was down here...might still be."

"Oh great Van, just great. I'm already nervous enough as it is...don't you have any good news for me?" Saul snapped from just behind the canin, jumping nearly a foot as a loose rock skittered across the stone floor with a skipping sound.

"The smell of the sea is getting stronger. It's coming from over there." Donovan said, pointing a blunt claw in the direction of a wall of darkness just outside the blue glow of the crystal light. "Want to go check it out?" There was such a plaintive note in the canin's voice that the four of them ventured toward the edge, each having mixed emotions about coming that close to the utter darkness.

Angelo's hard voice echoed back at them. "I'd be careful if I were you mates. The stones over there are..." he never finished. At just that moment the stones Saul stood on gave way, sending the youth plunging into the darkness with a scream any horror-vid maker would have died to record. "...loose." Angelo finished with a shake of his head. A resounding splash echoed back up to them.

"GUYS! YOU GOTTA TRY THAT! IT'S A BLAST!" Saul's energetic yell floated up to them from the darkness, a glow beginning to shimmer up from the inky depths. A stone sailed over the heads of the three remaining young people, trailing down into the darkness until it too splashed.

Ambrois looked over his shoulder at his father who was dusting off his hands, his eyebrow quirking. "Wait for it..." Angelo said softly. Suddenly illumination blazed from below, chasing away the bulk of the major darkness and leaving only lingering shadows in it's wake. The three, who found themselves standing on a ledge of rock, gasped eyes popping in their heads. A massive drop spiraled away at their feet, a long chute of rock much like a water-slide curling away at their feet. It was this chute that Saul had landed on, that had rushed him into the water he now floated in. Water that was now glowing with a brilliant luminescence, the phosphorus creatures that lived in it agitated into a glowing state.

But it wasn't the chute, the glowing water, or the shouts of their swimming friend that captured and held their attention. It was the pair of ships that rode anchor at the natural dock, two sleek and deadly vessels on par with the Muse for destructive beauty. Their sails were furled tightly along their spars, their rigging intact and awaiting a hand to haul on one of it's many ropes. The pair of them looked as if they were simply awaiting the return of their crews, riding peacefully at anchor. Only the thick coating of dust and glowing cave debris, the slimy weeds wound around the anchor chains attested that they had not been disturbed in some time.

"Ambrois, your eyes are keener than mine. Can you make out a name?" Donovan said, ears perked and eyes wide in shock.

The young arcex leaned forward, so far that he required the canin's hand gripping is waistband to keep him from tumbling down and joining Saul in the water. Saul, for his part, had realized something was amiss and turned to stare in the direction of his friends from high above. "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" He nearly drowned as his shock caused him to break his rhythm, dunking under the water until he found it again and surfaced sputtering. "HEY! AMBROIS! CAN YOU READ THE NAME FROM THERE OR SHOULD I SWIM CLOSER?"

"HE'S TRYING SAUL! GIVE HIM A SECOND!" Jade shouted back, cupping her hands to carry her words.

"No need, you could have simply asked." The sound of Angelo's voice right behind them scared the three of them terribly. They'd forgotten he was there and now, his hard as steel tone made them start, Donovan losing his grip on Ambrois. As the arcex pitched forward with a startled exclamation, both Donovan and Jade made a grab for him and failed. Overbalanced, they toppled onto the chute below and quickly ended up joining Saul in the water.

He grinned at them as they sputtered to the surface. "Nice of you to join me...where's Ambrois?" The three of them looked up to see him, wings stretched wide in an attempt at gliding, on a crash course with the nearest ship. He tried to angle for the deck instead of potentially getting tangled in the rigging, miscalculated the response time of his adult plumage, and ended up smashing into the side of the vessel at high speed. He barely had time to throw his arms in front of his face before impacting with a resounding crack, the force of impact so great he actually bounced off the side.

Angelo winced right along with the three in the water, a communal 'Ouch' echoing from four sets of lips. It was right about then that a pluni could have been used, their speed in the water unmatchable by any of the other races. As it was Ambrois's naturally buoyancy, air sacs that had once aided his kind in flight now making it impossible for him to sink. He floated, unconscious, as Saul slid an arm under him, making sure his face didn't end up in the water while Jade and Donovan, who was about as graceful in the water as a rock, swam towards them.

Finally the three of them managed to get hold of the unconscious arcex and haul him out of the water, his massive wings like lead anchors. His arms were badly battered, both wrists broken without a doubt, and there were the many cuts and scrapes to be dealt with. "Well that tells me he needs more lessons on air control." Three sodden faces looked up at Angelo who wrinkled his nose. "Ew, wet dog. No offense mate." He said with a nod in Donovan's direction.

"None taken." The canin calmly replied, a little bewildered at the slim man's sudden appearance.

Saul voiced the question that was on all their minds when he looked at the completely dry slim man and said "How the hell did you get down here?"

Angelo pointed towards a slightly glowing indent, much like the circle of light that they had rode on in the room with the Doors. "I took the elevator, move back and let me see him." Donovan and Saul looked at each other, shrugged, and stepped back while Jade stubbornly stared up at the pirate. "Be that way then lass." Angelo said as he knelt.

He patted first one pocket, then another, then another...about twenty-seven pockets later he must have found what he was looking for since he nodded and slipped his hand inside. He withdrew a long metal tube with odd markings on it and, depressing several in rapid order, held it out over Ambrois. The strange thing was when he let it go it remained hanging in the air in exactly the same position. "What you're about to see cannot be told to anyone. There are many things in this cavern which will seem wondrous and fantastic, magic almost. But while some are magic, some are merely forgotten secrets. Once common to all, they are forbidden in this day and age, lost technologies. Like this handy little gizmo. A Fix-All."

The Fix-All must have emitted a high-pitched noise because Donovan pressed his hands over flattened ears and let loose this strange pained sound, glaring at them blearily when whatever noise it was stopped. The Fix-All then zipped back and forth over Ambrois's prone form, lingering over the injuries. When it moved from one to the next, everyone but Angelo's eyes popped. No wounds remained where the Fix-All had lingered. It hovered last over Ambrois's brow and, after a moment, emitted a chiming noise to signal it was done. Stretching out a hand, Angelo plucked it out of the air and tucked it back into his pocket. "Handy little bugger...good for minor stuff like this but it wouldn't do shit against something worse."

"Like a gunshot." Jade said with narrowed eyes, recalling a certain incident on a beach a few years ago.

Angelo nodded. "Like a gunshot. That required something stronger and much less easy to come by. I can make a Fix-All." He stood and backed away as Ambrois moaned, fading into the background as Saul and Donovan pressed forward again.

Ambrois blinked awake, flexing fingers with some surprise. "That hurt. I'm surprised I'm not worse."

"Thank miracle man and his magic pockets for that one." Saul said with a head-jerk in Angelo's general direction. "He pulled out some gizmo and Presto! No more injuries."

Ambrois grinned and allowed himself to be helped up. "Healing gizmos aside, I want to know more about those ships...you said if I asked." His soft words were accompanied by a raised eyebrow as he awaited his father's response.

Angelo didn't face his son, his attention riveted to the nearest ship instead. "This ship belonged to my brother, your uncle." He said as he ran a thoughtful hand over one of the mooring ropes. "I had to steal it back from the Protectorate when he died so that they wouldn't destroy it, or worse use it as one of their damned Armada. He died doing a noble thing, it was only fitting he be buried with it."

"So wait...these ships...they've got DEAD PEOPLE on them?!" Saul's eyes had been shining with lust. Now they were clouded with revulsion as he shuddered. "That's Gross! And a waste of fine ships."

Perhaps only Donovan heard the low growl that echoed in Angelo's throat but the cold fury in his voice escaped none of them when he spoke again. "There were several cultures of ancient humanity that buried their dead in ships and it's a common pluni practice." He was silent a moment. "It's also what my father wanted."

Five sets of eyes turned to the second ship that sat silent, it's hull creaking as the gentle tides of the cave rocked it ever so slightly. Four sets of eyes devoured the sleek hull of the black ship, it's design antiquated compared to the Muse, but clearly a major source of inspiration for Angelo's deadly swift vessel. Like the Muse, no name was scribed on the side and there was no figurehead, only a reinforced bow sprint that had obviously rammed a good many ships in it's day. As one looked up the mast, the tattered remnants of a flag could be seen. A black flag. Pirate.

The voice, which had dipped so low in his head that he'd forgotten it existed, suddenly roared back to life. So strong was the wordless demand that Ambrois was forced to obey the compulsion or suffer such mind-pain as he'd never been dealt before. Ignoring the startled looks, half touches, and puzzled inquiries of his friends, Ambrois followed the voice where it led...and it led to where Angelo was standing and staring at a small glimmering object.

Now that the compulsion had eased up Ambrois was able to look around...and shiver. Laid out before him were the bones of an adult arcex, a female by the looks of it. She'd been dead a long time, her burial shroud having disintegrated off her bones. Whatever was preserving the ships that rode at anchor had done nothing for her, or her bones were simply far more antiquated than the ships. Possibly. It was also obvious her grave had been disturbed, the skull had been detached from the rest of the body and turned so that the base faced them and displayed the hollow cranial cavity to it's best advantage. The glimmering object had been shoved within.

"What..."

"Somebody desecrated Lyrica's grave...and I'm betting I know who." Angelo reached forward and picked up the skull, shaking a bit until the glimmering object fell into his hand, a memory crystal with a message inside. But Angelo ignored the crystal, turning his attention back to the skull. "Sorry Lyrica, allow me to help you." He said, addressing the skull calmly as he set it back atop jaw and spine where it should have been. "Now...I wonder what the trigger word for this is?"

He stared at it thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head. "I bet I know...Hello Mother."

The crystal instantly flared to life with far more force than Radiant's had. It screamed with a furious wind, a wind that knocked Donovan, Saul, and Jade off their feet and would have Ambrois if he hadn't cupped his wings and diverted the force towards the ground. Angelo, however, remained as if rooted to the spot, a hard look on his face as he stared down the forming figure. The blue light glanced off his platinum silver hair, making it seem as glacial as his eyes. The now slight wind blew through it gently even as his wings flexed, coiling outward instead of rising directly behind him as if he was trying to contain the forming vision...or shield them from it. Ambrois recognized it for what it was, an instinctive gesture held over from wild ancestors...a parent protecting their offspring.

The sender of the message was a woman, an arcex, but there all similarities between a normal arcex maid and the figure in the message ended. She was nude yet sexless, her flesh like a liquid steel body covering. It revealed every detail of her musculature save those that would have been provocative, as if to preserve her modesty by providing her some form of protective clothing. The liquid silver irises of her eyes were surrounded by normal looking whites and her tongue, while silver in color, did not look metallic when she finally spoke.

Angelo...Angelo...Angelo......Why have you forsaken me my son? Why have you deserted my side? Why do you insist upon defying me? Why do you crawl on your belly to Him when you could stand by my side and call no man master? The image had eerily attuned itself to the intended recipient and now the woman, who was a head shorter than Angelo, tilted her face up toward his. Why do you favor him over me? What did I ever do to you? What did I ever deny you...besides that? Her voice was that of a siren, crooning and coaxing in such a way that even Jade was staring enraptured.

The images wings relaxed in an enticing manner, the arms of the steel woman moving restlessly by her sides. It looked as if she wanted to do nothing more than embrace her child, to draw him to her and hold him close. But from the way Angelo stood, from the look on his face, it was clear such had never been their relationship. And then, just like that, the longing expression on the woman's face changed. I suppose you're wondering how this got to you, how I managed to place it where you found it? How I got past all those layers of protection that you must have heaped on this mouldering pile of bones. As if she ever had anything on me...I really don't know what your father saw in her.

A throaty laugh accompanied the siren's bitter words. But as you can see, she serves my purposes in death far more than she did in life...it's only too bad your father couldn't see my clever trick. Or is he? I wonder Angelo, is he standing right there next to you? Did you summon Angel's shade with that blade of yours?

At her words Angelo went ridged, the blade in question humming on his back. "Bitch." He tersely snarled. "How much longer must I suffer your droning?"

The image of the woman suddenly reclined in the air, as if she were reclining upon some unseen object. The position was lurid, leaving little to the imagination of those viewing the message. Considering this had been intended for her son, one could only wonder at depravity of her mind. She smiled seductively. No, you wouldn't have done that...your 'honor' wouldn't allow that. Or is your honor still intact. Tell me, my son, how much of your flesh is still flesh? This is your last chance, join me and I'll reverse my curse. Your line will continue and you will live forever. Forever young and fit, forever able to do as you see fit. All you've got to do is renounce your father, renounce your weak flesh.

"Renounce my soul." The words were spoken into the pregnant pause left in the woman's words. Obviously the siren had expected Angelo to say something and had purposefully left the gap. The sword on Angelo's back hummed all the louder, causing a disruption in the message as it's tone grew louder and louder.

Somehow, as if the woman were really there or, as if she somehow heard the hum of the massive blade and the cold disdain in Angelo's voice, her demeanor changed. She was instantly on her feet, her locks rising like snakes around her head. You will change your mind! You will come to me on hands and knees, groveling for a second chance. Let us see how proud you are then Angelo! Let us see who you side with when the sword is about to fall and your neck is under it!

As the image faded one last seductive whisper invaded the darkness. Soon we'll know which blood will out...

There was a sudden flair of light and a popping noise. With a disgusted expression on his face Angelo let the fragments of the memory crystal fall from his hand, crushed in his furious grip. He stood for a moment, trembling in fury as the sword on his back practically screamed. "How could you let her in here!" Angelo's shout was furious as he spun and stalked toward the ship where his father was buried. Ambrois and the others could only follow, minds filled with questions but lips wisely sealed, as Angelo led them up the gangplank and aboard the silent vessel.

He led them down into the belly of the ship with it's twisting passages, or perhaps he did not lead them but was too angry to prevent them from following. Wrenching open the door to the captain's cabin he addressed the sheet draped figure that sat in the chair behind the desk. "How could you allow her in here! What purpose was it?! Another of your damned tests?!" His voice dropped as he leaned upon the table. "When will you learn...the harder you push me the worse the results."

Saul made a 'crazy' symbol, pointing an index finger at his temple and making a circle with it. Donovan's head dipped in agreement as Jade raised an eyebrow. Was Angelo really talking to a corpse like it could understand him? Not just talking, but yelling and threatening? Where could threatening a dead man possibly get you?

Something caught Ambrois's eye on the shelf near his shoulder. A slim rectangle about as thick as Jade's pinkie and about the same size as your average book. While Angelo was distracted, he reached out a hand and took it, ignoring Saul's head shake. He quickly flipped the book to the younger boy, lacking enough clothing to conceal it himself, admiring the way Saul seemed to make it vanish into thin air. That boy had a distinct talent when it came to taking things that didn't belong to him.

Saul'd only finished tucking it away when Angelo rounded on them, too furious to do more than point for them to get out. He followed them, like the specter of death, shooing them off of the ship and back out of the glowing cavern. As they departed the glow began to fade until, as each of them passed through the doors, the inky blackness returned. With an echoing boom the doors slammed shut behind Angelo, who was the last out. He stood for a moment, staring at them, before shaking his head. "Out of my way you lot...I need a drink."
--------------------------------

Despite his exhaustion, Ambrois couldn't sleep with the questions burning brightly in his mind. He tossed and turned in his room until, giving up at last, he pulled on some clothing and went in search of the one place he knew he could find his answers...the Library.

Entering he was only half surprised to find the others already there and pouring over everything from holo-cubes and data tiles, to the physical books Angelo had. The rectangle Ambrois had had Saul smuggle out lay on the table as well and had proven to be an electronic portfolio of some kind. "Take a look at these pictures." Jade said, sliding it over to him. "Amazing aren't they."

There were, pictures of the island, of the complex, of those ships that they'd seen anchored in that cavern sailing the waters in the light of the gleaming suns. There were pictures of Ambrois's uncle, Radiant, recognized from his memory crystal, and a few of an arcex woman. The title under one picture proved out Ambrois's suspicions of her identity by reading 'Lyrica'. "So that's what she looked like." Donovan muttered. "Pretty lady."

Ambrois had to agree, Lyrica had been pretty. He flashed to the next picture and his mouth went dry. "Saul...bring me Jasper's cube." They always referred to that record cube of all those pirates by that name...after all Jasper had brought it to them and had spent the most time with it. Saul dashed off, returning a few moments later and handing it mutely to Ambrois. Opening the pirate files he serched by race, looking for arcex pirates solely. Three names popped up.

Opening the first file revealed the picture of Angelo which, according to the date, had been snapped fourteen years ago when Ambrois had been seven. Angelo had silver hair and silver wings in the picture, same as he did now. Ambrois opened the next file, Angelo wasn't what he was looking for. But the file on Radiant Blade, Angel Blade's son, had only one photo of the man...one taken shortly after he'd been hung for crimes of piracey. The face was so purpled, the features so swollen...he'd been beaten before death and whatever he might have looked like in life was sure not to resemble it in that photo. Ambrois couldn't confirm his suspicions that way.

Hands shaking, Ambrois keyed the next file and sat back, fears confirmed. There was only one known picture of Angel Blade in existence...the one that now hovered before them. Taken at the battle of Ageie, when Angel Blade had supposedly attempted the destruction of both garrison and colony of that small mining world, it showed a fierce arcex with streaming white hair and massive ebony wings. His dark lilac eyes gleamed as he stood at the prow of his ship, coolly aiming a gunbarrel at the unfortunate who'd snapped the picture...obviously with some zoom feature from a distance.

But there was no denying it...Angel Blade was the man in the next photo in the digital portfolio. He was laughing, obviously amused at something, even as his hand was raised to ward off the camera. "Oh man..." Saul breathed. "We found Angel Blade's family photos. Awsome!" He said snatching the portfolio off the table and keying the button for the next in line. His features twisted. "Aw MAN! It's locked."

'Access Denied' was scrawled in lurid red letters on the screen. The name of the denied photo was clearly desplayed at the bottom...Double Trouble. "Ambrois, you're the smart one...make it work!" The was the whine of a petulant child in Saul's voice but Ambrois could hardly deny him. He felt the same.

Yet hours later, nothing he'd done would open either the locked 'Double Trouble' file or the also locked file after it titled 'Prince of Darkness'. They were the only two files that somebody had gone through the trouble of making sure nobody would ever see again. Finally, Ambrois's temper snapped. Jaw clenched he spoke to the thing as though it could understand him. "You stupid, little, insignificant machine. If you don't unlock these files for me right NOW I am going to take a rather large mallet and beat you into TINY....LITTLE...PIECES!"

Suddenly the words on the screen flashed green. 'Access Granted'. Everyone blinked as Saul's mouth dropped open. "Holy SHIT! It worked!"

Shaking his head, Ambrois keyed the button to reveal the image 'Double Trouble'...and damn near choaked.

"Is...is that who I think it is?" Jade's voice was trembling as hard as Ambrois's entire body.

On the screen, two male arcex stared at each other from opposite sides of the picture. One was Angel Blade, one fist clenched around his massive sword, the other pointing an accusitory finger at the second figure. The second figure was built almost like a mirror copy, just as tall, just as thin, just as muscular. Wings were just as black, hair was just as long save that this too was black. He wore a black and red long leather coat and the same furious expression save that two massive hanguns were gripped, one in either hand.

"Oh God..." Jade choaked. "Angelo is his son..."
--------------------------------------

They know... Cele's voice was soft in Angelo's mind as he sat at his desk, message light on his comm blinking. He sighed, shoulders slumping.

Well what do you want me to do about it Cele? Go scream to the whole universe that my father's legacy didn't die with Radiant? Angelo rubbed his temples. And it's not the only one I've got to deal with either. There's always her...

Who Angelo! The mysterious her that you won't even tell ME about! Why are you keeping this secret? Why won't you tell me?

Because to speak the name is to summon the bitch! The last thing I want is my mother finding out I've got a son...that I found a way around that precious curse of hers! The last time I delt with her, told her I'd found something I wanted, she had to destroy it. Cele she killed you for my impudence...I'm not going to have it happen twice. He keyed the comm, bringing up the message and saying softly. She'll have what she wants before she has Ambrois...

Bradogan's face quickly filled Angelo's screen, that same craggy leer decorating it as he spoke. "The time has come for us to meet Steel, in the agreed upon place. I give you three weeks from right now to be in Tallistown or Vixen shall suffer the penalty. Don't keep me waiting Angelo."

Angelo chuckled. "Ah an ultimatum...Who in their right mind gives me and ultimatum?" He tapped his fingers next to the send button...Bradogan needed taught a lesson...
-----------------------------------------

So what is the lesson Angelo has in mind?
------------------------------

Alright folks. Angelo is exposed for who...and partially what he is. But does this answer your questions or simply spawn more. I hope you enjoyed either way...
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Last edited by Kalanna Rai on Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:55 am; edited 3 times in total
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Off Topic FIRST POST! MINE!

*relaxes* Okay, Rai now that Angelo's past has been partially revealed, what is his son going to do? He's going to have questions... lots of questions. Like, who in the hell was that silvery woman? What was his grandfather like? Will he be flightless always?

Just a few questions that might come from a orphan who just found out he's the latest in a legacy of infamous pirates.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Recipe for Lessons in Respect:

1 pint Abject Humiliation

2 cups Sound Beating

1 tablespoon Subtle Put-Downs

1 crapload Pain

Optional-

1 cup Permanent Injury

-or-

1 dose Death

Muahahahahaha!
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*No comment*

Just joking.

Good chapter, Rai. A couple of mistakes right there at the end, though.

I reckon Angelo should teach Brado Quadratics. Wink

But if that doesn't work I'll F5 snore.
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aye, finally caught up. It's a long and interesting one. I like the dual guns heheh.

I am more interested in the picture called "Prince of Darkness". If I recall correctly *goes to check* they only opened that first pic.

As for Bradogan, maybe he should put a small explosive device in a vital part of Brad's ship. That way it will be less effective as a lesson, but only at the first glance.

*explosion in the distance, someone screams "Abandon ship!", Angelo walking away with a cigar in his mouth*

"Nobody, and I say NOBODY gives me an ultimatum."

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I still think this belongs in Skiffy.

Your spelling had improved over time Rai, but there are still a couple of them in there. Better than before though. Also in one paragraph you want to watch your repetitions. You say 'bones' about 5 times in as many lines.

I'm not sure about this 'fix all' either. Confused Seemed a but convenient. I know you put in something about not using it for the gunshot, but broken wrists aren't really that minor! It just seemed a bit weak is all.

Anyway, minor niggles.

So, DP. I really like Cys' suggestion actually. It is the coolest thing I think. Smile
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

first, i wonder if mom wanted to seduce her son, or the other way around.

now, to teach a lesson in giving angelo ultimatums, show up, let Bradogan come aboard, destroy his vessel, and take him into the depths of space, preferably near a black hole, where he can be forced to walk the plank. That should stop anymore ultimatums coming his way.

but then again, don't we need him for some reason that was mentioned several chapters back?

Perhaps a spanking with a sword would be a more humiliating experience.
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Humm...good question Meph.

The woman's behaviour would indicate she is the one attempting seduction, what would make you think it was the other way around?

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
What did I ever deny you...besides that?


that line. that makes me wonder if it was her, or angelo that was attempting the seduction. Perhaps the curse was because he wanted her, and currently she is merely taunting him by being now what she wasn't able to be when he wanted it.
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

'That' can be a great many things. Be paitent...all mysteries will be revealed in time...
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay Zeph, I'll answer your questions...

1. Yes Angelo is going to sit Ambrois down and explain things in the next chapter, and he'll probably leave it up to Ambrois to spill it to the rest of the crew...simply because he doesn't really care what they think.

2. Yes the Muse is now ready to fly, he's finished his repairs.

3. They've been waiting for Bradogan to send this message and the ship's repairs to be complete. Now that the message has arrived and the ship is ready to go, they can finally get off this world and start the real meat of the adventure.

4. His mother wants to ruin his father's plans although what exactly her curse is and what exactly those plans are you'll have to wait to see...This is not the time to give that away.

So, are there any more solutions to the DP? I'm going to put the poll up tomorrow.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright, the poll's up!
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