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Heavy Metal - Chapter 6: THEY

 
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:16 pm    Post subject: Heavy Metal - Chapter 6: THEY Reply with quote

Heavy Metal
Chapter 6
THEY



“Get in!” Walter roared, “I’m drivin’!”

Dave acquiesced without a word, his eyes fixated on the desert, where a flash of white incandescence blazed across the sands. It briefly illuminated the Bouncer as the behemoth crashed into a cactus on his charge towards the source of the light, the eyes of the strange newcomer that had so very recently posed as a police officer before engaging in battle with their muscle-bound partner in crime.

As soon as Walt and Dave leapt into the aging truck that carried their stolen fuel, Walt slammed the pedal to the floor, the old ford charging off down the highway, leaving the two super-combatants, and the wreckage in their wake, behind.

Both sat in silence for a while, the only sound to be heard was the roaring of the engine.

Neither seemed to know what to say, both taking a moment to ponder the gravity of their situation, both scrambling desperately to comprehend the display of might and savagery they had just witnessed, both wondering how the battle behind them would end and how its fate might be linked to theirs.

As close friends, both understood this silence and what it meant from the other. In the rear view mirrors, sirens and flashing lights could be seen rapidly approaching the scene of carnage, where the Bouncer had hurled both a police car and a full tank of jet fuel into the street. The damage to the highway itself had been enormous and Walt considered that it may actually buy them time to get home. But, possibly, not enough.

Suddenly, Walter reached down and pushed a button on his control panel, extinguishing the truck’s headlights. At the same time, he slammed on the breaks and swerved the truck to the right, adding thrust to his turn as he peeled off down a barely visible dirt road through the desert.

“What are you doing?!?” Dave cried nervously.

“Don’t worry, kid,” Walt said confidently, “I’ve lived most of my life out here in this desert – know it like the back of my hand. If we keep our headlights on, those cops on our tail will see where we’re at all too easily.”

“Uh, yeah, but we’re not going to make it home if we crash!”

“There’s some moonlight out,” Walt said as he swerved to avoid a rock, hitting a deep pothole that forced him to slow a bit, but retaining command over the vehicle nevertheless. “Just gotta let your eyes adjust,” he said, making it apparent that his own eyes were still ‘adjusting’.

“Alright, not a bad idea. Just slow DOWN…” Dave was cutoff as they suddenly found themselves racing off the road, plowing into a barrel cactus in such a way that it was miraculous that their tires hadn’t burst! Walt quickly changed course and rejoined the road once more.

“Yeah, alright… a little less speed might be OK if they haven’t seen us. Keep a lookout on the Highway while you can.”

As Dave watched behind, words finally found him. “Who do you think’s going to come out on top back there?”

“How the hell should I know? I don’t understand the foggiest about what the hell we’ve gotten ourselves into!” Walt insisted.

“I know, right? Like who was that cop dude? He seemed to think he was like some sort of Holy Warrior or something. Then again… he also seemed to have some sort of light comin’ out of his eyes, and when I saw that beam it made me feel… warm inside. You think he might have been… you know…”

“Been what? Crazy? Smoke and mirrors, kid! It’s all gotta be just parlor tricks of some kind! God doesn’t just go around giving chosen warriors super powers so they can go fight the guys the Devil has given super powers! That’s just insane is what that is!”

“Alright, but how do you explain what we saw back there then? How did the Bouncer LIFT this truck in his bare hands? How can ANYONE do that, not to mention throwing a car around like a toddler’s toy? How did those shotgun pellets deflect off of him like that at point blank range? How does he bounce around like a rubber ball? How did that new guy’s eyes light up and why did it seem to burn the Bouncer? How can all THAT be a parlor trick?” In the distance, the police lights seemed to stop at the scene of the battle.

“I don’t know kid… I just can’t believe what I’ve seen is… is all real. I’m a pragmatist. Not that I don’t believe in God or anything, just that… it just doesn’t make any sense.” Apparently, Walt had a fairly good visual fix on the dirt road now as he began weaving around the deep ruts with some efficiency.

“I feel like we just stepped into some kind of Armageddon or something,” Dave said with a sense of awe in his tone.

“I’d say that’s exactly what someone wants us to think,” Walt growled.

“Alright but why? Even if you’re right and it’s all some sort of incredible Hollywood special effect stuff, why? What would anyone stand to gain by making all of this ‘seem’ to happen?”

“You saw the way that Lucky guy was dressed right? His attitude? His demeanor? I’d say he’s just a nutjob! A really brilliant nutjob, sure, but a wacko nevertheless. How can we know what goes on in that crazy head of his?”

“That’s just it, he seemed eccentric an’ all, but insane? If he were that crazy do you think he could really have pulled off such a grand magician’s act?”

“I dunno Kid, it is Vegas after all.”

Another moment of silence passed as both seemed to carry the debate inside while they stormed down the dusty roadway. Walt took a few turns at various junctions, leaving Dave to pray that Walt really knew his way around the desert. Eventually, the blue and red lights behind them vanished behind a hill in the distance eliciting a sigh of relief from Dave.

“We’ve lost them I think,” he said.

“Let’s hope it stays that way,” Walt returned.

“So, what do we do now?” Dave wondered openly. “Surely they’ll catch up to us at your home by the time the night is up. Even if we manage to get you spaceborne, so what? Are you planning on accepting the X-prize in prison?”

“I know… been thinkin’ that through myself,” Walt mused. “We’ve really had to make some very short term decisions that have a huge impact on the longterm outlook of our project.”

“You can say that again!”

“Look, Dave, truth is, I’m not so sure I’m gonna live through this flight anyhow,” Walt said somberly.

“WHAT? Then why are we doing this?!?”

“BECAUSE…” Walt roared, then seemed to stop himself mid-statement, looking for the right words. “Because I can’t bear to let it die, Dave. I don’t have too many years left. When you reach my age, you start realizing it’s now or never, and… I have to see it for myself.”

“See what for yourself? Space? Is that worth dying for?”

“Frankly, yes,” Walt stated simply, a look of resignation crossing his features. “But it’s more than that. And everything we’ve been through tonight just adds to the whole thing.”

“What do you mean, Walt?” It dawned on Dave that perhaps he’d never fully understood Walt’s motivations.

“Well, I mean, there’s more to life than the day to day Earth-bound existence right? You should understand this more than anyone! You’re very aware that there’s more to the world than what we’re being told. Look at what you came to me with!”

After a moment of pondering Walt’s words, Dave replied, “So, what, you want to prove it to yourself that THEY exist?”

“That pretty much sums it up, yeah. And what do THEY want with us, and why are ‘we the people’ so ill informed about them when we KNOW the government knows so much about them? Are they friendly? Are they a threat? Whatever THEY are, their existence means we’re not alone and THAT is enough to give me cause to want to see them firsthand.”

“Oh, I get it,” Dave said, “You think if you fly up there into space they’ll just come along and show themselves to you, is that it?”

“Something like that,” Walt replied. “I don’t know alright. When we were working the Apollo missions, I heard a lot of crazy s**t from the astronauts that landed on the surface of the moon. THEY were there, watching us all along and when we tried to talk about it with command, we were hushed. We were made to sign off on agreements to keep what we learned on our missions secret and I well know it was for a reason. Damnit, mission control KNEW they were there!

So I dug a little deeper, and found that MOST of the astronauts that have been up there have had some sort of encounter with THEM. I can’t believe that if I got myself up there, THEY wouldn’t be there watching me back. I just hope I can get a glimpse, you know?”

“And that’s worth dying for?”

“It’s worth the risk I’d say. What the hell does human life really mean if they’re really out there? Is our very existence on this planet some sort of alien science project, farm, aquarium? How long have THEY known about us? Why haven’t THEY invaded us already? And why is the Government keeping it such a great big secret given the possible threat they may represent? Do THEY come in peace? If so, why the secrecy? Or have THEY already taken control?

I mean, you know, as well as I do, that NASA has been dragging its feet just to give the public the impression of progress but the truth is if you and I can sort out those technologies you were working on ‘back-engineering’, then surely the government already has. And yet we’re still working with rockets? I don’t think so!”

“Yeah, we’ve talked about this. Didn’t we figure the government is hiding all that technology from even its own citizens because it’s the next great secret weapon? I kinda figured that was what we came up with…”

“Right, sure, but where does that leave us as a species in relation to THEM? Do THEY care about our wars and conflicts? I believe it’s the imperative of the people, like you and me, to answer those questions for ourselves. We know the government is hiding stuff about THEM from us, and if we don’t become self-informed, how can our government ‘of the people, by the people’ be guided in the right direction? Since the people are supposed to be in charge of government, how can we trust the decisions our leaders are making when they are all made in such secrecy?”

“So what do you figure you’re going to find out up there?”

“As I said, verification of THEIR existence would be a start. There’s a reason I fit the ship with extensive camera systems. PROOF is what I hope to bring back to the private sector!”

“But then… you said you figured you were going to die in all this… so how is that going to help anyone?”

“Those cameras are linked to the computers in the barn right? I’m hoping you will take some initiative with whatever footage we capture in case I don’t make it back.”

Dave paused for a moment, finally realizing the weight that Walt was placing on his shoulders.

“How do you figure I’m gonna do that from prison?”

“Quickly I hope. Before anyone catches onto us and you get arrested. You’ve gotten pretty good at being a fugitive and eluding capture anyhow. Figured you might be the right guy for the job.”

“So THAT’s why you were so determined to make this flight at any cost? Sheesh… I just figured you were getting caught up in the moment.”

“Yeah, well, there was that too… That Lucky guy, and the Bouncer… They had a way of making me feel like I didn’t have any other options.”

“I felt it too. Like a compulsion or something. But then, we didn’t know the Bouncer was going to start killing people either.”

“That’s the thing. Right there,” Walt said, the gears turning behind his eyes. “You want to know what I really think about everything that just happened back there?”

“Yeah?”

I think that THEY are onto us,” Walt pointed a thumb up to the stars. “Any sufficiently advanced technology will appear to be as magic to the uninitiated, right? I think THEY are trying to sabotage our efforts. THEY don’t want me to expose them to the public, so THEY set this whole thing up to undermine us.”

“You think?!? Wow… and I thought YOU were being the pragmatic one. I mean, didn’t it seem like it was more of an… I don’t know… religious conflict we stepped into the middle of?”

“That’s what I think THEY want us to think. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m sure. No human alive could have pulled off those tricks. The Bouncer, Lucky, the Priesty guy… they’ve all got to be in on this, and they probably aren’t even human.”

“Alright, that’s a… theory. But what if it’s all exactly what it looked like-some kind of conflict taking place between God and the Devil and we’re at the middle of it? I mean… couldn’t that be possible? You said yourself, to Lucky back there, that you had read the Bible. I know we’ve never really gotten into religious discussions an’ all but… I don’t know. Couldn’t it be just what it appears to be?”

“Truth be told Kid, I’m not all that religious myself. Sure, ya go to church on Sundays and ya read the Bible, but mostly it’s just to fit in, and show to everyone else around you that you are a morally upstanding and trustworthy person. But if you ask me, everything I’ve read in the Bible seems… really farfetched. Furthermore, if any of it is true, then it strongly suggests that THEY have been with us all along.”

“How so?”

“Moses and the Hebrews followed Yahweh out of the desert right? Led to the ‘promise’ land by a pillar of fire in the sky at night and a cloud during the day? Sounds like a spaceship to me. And the star above Bethlehem when Jesus was born? Again… a spaceship. Now, I’ll admit, I don’t know the Bible all that well, but it seems every time I open the thing I only see more evidence to suggest THEY have been taking an interest in human affairs for as long as our recorded history.”

“Hmm, might explain why the Government isn’t telling us everything about the ship they were having me work on at Area 51,” Dave pondered openly. “Wait… you’re basically suggesting that the Bible itself is part of some massive alien conspiracy?”

“Conspiracy or human folly, either way, I don’t believe that we just witnessed a fight between Angelic and Demonic forces because I don’t believe they exist. Surely such beliefs are just man’s attempt to rationalize the experiences he’s had with his history of interactions with THEM. And to be honest, it doesn’t overly surprise me if THEY can hear every conversation, hell possibly every thought I’ve ever had and have decided to interfere with my plan to reveal them for what they are.”

“Interesting theory Walt. You’re a deeper guy than I ever gave you credit for. I’m still not so sure you have it all sorted out but if you’re right… wow… that really makes this whole X-prize thing seem to pale in comparison to what you’re really trying to accomplish.”

“Yep, sure does, don’t it?” Walt chuckled as he rolled the truck onto the last road that would lead him to home. “That’s exactly why I wanted to fly the thing before we registered into the competition. I figure they might have been ready to hide from any of the registered private missions. I was hoping that by not registering, they wouldn’t recognize my ship and come to investigate… assuming they’re always there of course. But then… now I wonder if that will work… I may have to try to fly where they don’t want humans to go to force them to intervene, thus revealing themselves.”

“Where do you think that would be?” Dave asked.

“I dunno… dark side of the moon maybe. Our ship’s capable of extremely deep space flight… or should be theoretically. I might be up there for a while looking for ‘em. Since this will now likely be my one chance to fly thanks to the Bouncer’s murders and our role in ‘em, I really need to prove THEM to exist on THIS flight.”

“So then… back to my first question… What now?” Dave asked as they pulled up in Walt’s driveway. The lights were still on in the home. “What are you going to tell Betty? Do you want me to start preparing the ship for flight or hide the fuel and lay low for a bit? Surely the police will be here soon… should we move the fuel and the ship somewhere more private, like out into the middle of the desert somewhere, or were you planning on going for broke and taking off before they get here?”

“Well… I’ve been considering all that and here’s what I’ve got in mind,” Walt said as he shut off the truck. Betty could be seen walking out onto the porch to greet them, concern and worry evident in her posture, and perhaps a little irritation as well.


So? What DOES Walt have in mind? What’s the plan? And what on earth does he tell Betty about where he’s been and what’s taken place since he left that morning? Note: The agents HAVE left… his property at least.

On a side note… is everyone following these explanations here or am I losing anyone? Do I need to be more clear about anything? Am I capturing the essence of religion VS pragmatism here or is that being lost somewhere along the way? What are YOUR thoughts on these matters? How do YOU feel about what appears at times to be a massive government coverup of the issue? What DOES the UFO phenomenon, if real, mean to your religious views?
_________________

CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...


Last edited by Thunderbird on Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:31 am; edited 3 times in total
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Final Poll results:

City of IF:

What now?
Head home immediately! Time is limited to launch.
60% [ 3 ]
Grab the discarded shotgun and assist the Bouncer.
20% [ 1 ]
Grab the pistol with Holy Water bullets and aid the newcomer.
0% [ 0 ]

Tome City:

What now? Head home immediately! Time is limited to launch. 0 (0%)
Grab the discarded shotgun and assist the Bouncer. 0 (0%)
Grab the pistol with Holy Water bullets and aid the newcomer. 1 (100%)

3 votes for head home, one vote for the other two options...

hmph... I'm losing readers here aren't I?
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:26 pm    Post subject: favorite chapter Reply with quote

i thought that you religious involvement with the story would end with god's warrior assassin monk cop ninja crossbowman guy.... anyway i think its amazing that you managed to make a somewhat convincing argument that one of the oldest books ever is a spaceship conspiracy. You didn't loose me at all, got a bit deep into conversation at some points and it dragged on a little at the end, but thats a personal opinion. Otherwise great

A good idea for the next chapter would be for walt to arrive home and for everyone there to be tied up and kidnapped by lucky, reason being he doesn't want to take a gamble on something so he is ensuring a way for him to win somehow.

p.S. i would love for you to get back to Bouncer's fight scene with PriestoCop, that is just to bada** to not go back to.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay. My thoughts...

Firstly, brilliant chapter. I definitely prefer conspiracy theories to god and the devil, much more exciting Very Happy

Secondly, if Walt's reasoning is true, there's no guarantee that Lucky or the Bouncer is really on Walt's side, or that the cop would be if they'd sided with him. They could all be aliens intent on scuppering the entire voyage. Walt can't trust anyone except himself, his family and his crew at the moment.

I'd say he has to go for broke and set off as soon as possible. If they lay low, the police will be all over them and they'll never get off the ground. Plus, it will give Lucky and his opponent more time to prepare their next barrage against him.

As for Betty, the last thing she needs is the truth now. That would delay them for too long. But neither can Walt leave her to take the heat. I suggest he tells her something has happened, there's no time to explain, but she needs to go stay with her sister/daughter/cousin out of state for a little while. She'll screech and squawk about it, but Walt's a charismatic man, I think he can pull it off.

Either way, he's in this for keeps now Cool
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on an excellent chapter! The only major trip up for me was the extremely long sentence at the beginning, but the imagery and the dialogue between the characters carried me effortlessly through to the end.

You've set this up well, I think. We have Thomas's POV which is very much a religious one - the experience that introduced us to him, and in particular the red aura he sees around Walt, which he interprets as an unfulfilled contract with the Devil.

Then you have Walt's theories about aliens vs religion; the irony that he'd sell his soul for proof - Lots of layers here. I like.

For me this chapter is very well balanced, giving evidence for both theories, religious and conspiracy, neither leaning towards one or the other. Walt's got his own 'Evidence' which counters all the religious overtones just to the right degree. At the moment there is enough on both sides for the reader to believe either is true, and to start concocting their own theories within this framework.

On a personal level, I approach stuff this with a very open mind. Provided the theories, whatever they may represent, are presented in a plausible enough way, I will be more enthralled by the skill of the writer than offended through any beliefs I may hold.



This chapter certainly has shown a deeper, and slightly crazy side to Walt, which I think I like. All I can say is... his poor wife! It certainly explains his demeanor towards her when we meet him in the first chapter.

I think the clue to this DP is Betty's body language right now. He's not been in contact with her since the phone call earlier that afternoon. She knew he was going to be late home because he told her, so she wouldn't look worried and irritated because of that. Though it may have been the inconvenience of having to entertain the agents up until then.

No - something else has happened, I think. But will he be receptive to that body language right now? The X prize is clearly a cover up for his real reasons for getting into space, and Betty doesn't feature anywhere on his agenda. Why should he listen to her now? Plus, he's all fired up from the bizarre experiences of the day - Lucky, Bouncer, Thomas - he's got Bouncer's strength on his side, and he knows that he'll stop at nothing to make sure he realises his dream.

So my option is probably the most ill-advised, but perhaps true-to-character one, and that is to ignore Betty, and get ready for take-off.

Smile
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent chapter! I'm immediately reminded of an episode of Star Trek : The Next Generation, where Picard finds some tricksy woman alien moving around various primative planets, revealing herself as their god using various technologies to 'fulfil' prophecies, and demonstrate her 'divine' powers. In the end Picard replicates the same powers to convince one planet it's all a sham.

I'm definately of the view - given the rediculously mind boggling quantity of stars out there - that intelligent alien life being alive is not only possible, but likely. Them discovering our tiny little corner of the universe is significantly less likely but still infinately more realistic to me than some universe-creating divine entity.

I found the chapter to contain the right balance between information and plot moving. No problems here.

If Walt really is of the impression They are out to sabotage his efforts, then I have to push for getting the flight underway asap. The longer they are foiled, the more likely they resort to more extreme methods to stop him.

But there's a hole in his theory. If 'They' are out to stop his flight, and are using advance technology to make their attempts to stop him appear like a religious battle. Who are the second 'Theys' who are helping, and why? Are there two species/factions up there, and one wants Walt to reveal all. If so, why doesn't the second simply reveal themselves - done and done?

Walt doesn't know, but we do, that the holy warrior wasn't out to hurt Walt. He believed, rightly or wrongly, that the Bouncer was the only target, an evil to be defeated. That doesn't hold true to Walt's theory.

Perhaps They don't know about Walt at all, and the Bouncer is part of the faction trying to get 'Them' revealed - with Walt just caught in the middle. Or perhaps it really is a religious thing - something I can accept in a story atleast.

Regardless - Walt needs to get into space asap. "Devil" or "They" be damned.

Happy Writing Smile
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

spowerq wrote:
anyway i think its amazing that you managed to make a somewhat convincing argument that one of the oldest books ever is a spaceship conspiracy.

This is awesome to hear since I've really only begun to SCRATCH the surface where this is concerned. Heh heh Very Happy
spowerq wrote:
A good idea for the next chapter would be for walt to arrive home and for everyone there to be tied up and kidnapped by lucky, reason being he doesn't want to take a gamble on something so he is ensuring a way for him to win somehow.

I can sorta make an option of this but Betty's the only person there and she's outside waiting for Walt on the porch sooooo.... I'd have to adjust the concept a little.
spowerq wrote:
i would love for you to get back to Bouncer's fight scene with PriestoCop, that is just to bada** to not go back to.

Thanks for the complimentary feedback on their battles. I couldn't just leave it off forever but I'm not sure how long I'll leave it for now. I promise I'll eventually get back to that scene and tie up those ends.

Stoat wrote:
I definitely prefer conspiracy theories to god and the devil, much more exciting

I'm hoping that even more intriguing still is to show how BOTH can be one. Smile

To the rest of what comments you've made here Stoat, nice thinking indeed!

CF wrote:
The only major trip up for me was the extremely long sentence at the beginning
I know... I couldn't figure out how to break that dang thing into multiple thoughts elegantly... But then again, neither is such a long sentence elegant is it? I figured I'd leave it as is until my brain can step away long enough to come back and offer a good solution. We are talking about: It briefly illuminated the Bouncer as the behemoth crashed into a cactus on his charge towards the source of the light, the eyes of the strange newcomer that had so very recently posed as a police officer before engaging in battle with their muscle-bound partner in crime. , right?

CF wrote:
At the moment there is enough on both sides for the reader to believe either is true, and to start concocting their own theories within this framework.
That's exactly what I'm looking for too... what theories can make all this fit?

CF wrote:
I will be more enthralled by the skill of the writer than offended through any beliefs I may hold.
You make me curious what beliefs those might be now Wink

CF wrote:
All I can say is... his poor wife! It certainly explains his demeanor towards her when we meet him in the first chapter.
I was hoping my readers would be along with me long enough to begin to understand some of the undertones going on in the first chapter. Thanks for mentioning this.

CF wrote:
No - something else has happened, I think.
You rascally readers are soooo perceptive! I'm very impressed Very Happy

Smee wrote:
I'm immediately reminded of an episode of Star Trek : The Next Generation, where Picard finds some tricksy woman alien moving around various primative planets, revealing herself as their god using various technologies to 'fulfil' prophecies, and demonstrate her 'divine' powers. In the end Picard replicates the same powers to convince one planet it's all a sham.
Surely inspired by much of the same research and reading material as what I've been exposed to. Yes... very interesting stuff, and despite the holes you poked in Walt's theories, which I'm quite glad you revealed as they are there on purpose, I don't intend to leave this sort of thinking behind at all. Walt has some surprises in store for him on this flight, that's for sure!

Smee wrote:
I'm definately of the view - given the rediculously mind boggling quantity of stars out there - that intelligent alien life being alive is not only possible, but likely. Them discovering our tiny little corner of the universe is significantly less likely but still infinately more realistic to me than some universe-creating divine entity.
I wouldn't think it all too unlikely either considering how we are using technologies to try to discover their existences assuming they would be using technologies similar to ours, such as radio activity. Now, lets assume then that we haven't been so far successful with these efforts (not to say we haven't) because usage of radio frequencies has been outdated by truly spacefaring species (honestly... radio only reaches so far and takes an enormous amount of time to transmit a message even between planets in a single solar system, let alone to imagine its application between systems... another technology would need to be employed entirely), that doesn't mean we wouldn't be easily detected ourselves, at least by now. And with how limited planets that can support flourishing life must be, surely Earth very likely could have been discovered by an alien species, and considered of extreme importance to them, long long ago.

When we consider the vast amount of time it takes for a planet to form and that we look out into the sky and witness stars in all stages of development, we must realize that somewhere intelligent life must have developed before life was even prepared to exist on Earth.

All this leads me to the conclusion that it is an overwhelming PROBABILITY that THEY must have been here all along, that we've never known a time as a species when we WEREN'T in contact with THEM at some level. The question is... why are we, the common people, not given to know this? What then is THEIR agenda? And where do we fit into it? And how does religion play into that scenario?

Smee wrote:
But there's a hole in his theory. If 'They' are out to stop his flight, and are using advance technology to make their attempts to stop him appear like a religious battle. Who are the second 'Theys' who are helping, and why? Are there two species/factions up there, and one wants Walt to reveal all. If so, why doesn't the second simply reveal themselves - done and done?

Very apt observations indeed. Allow me to assure you that the author has considered this quandry and as the story progresses, the reader shall gradually learn its answer. Regardless, these are the sorts of observations I was hoping my readers would make. Again, excellent thinking from all of you!

Unfortunately, once again, I find a DP where I worry there is not enough dissent among the suggestions to generate a strong poll. But then again... I must admit I am really looking forward to his voyage as well Razz
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:38 pm    Post subject: re-read Reply with quote

Quote:
spowerq wrote:
A good idea for the next chapter would be for walt to arrive home and for everyone there to be tied up and kidnapped by lucky, reason being he doesn't want to take a gamble on something so he is ensuring a way for him to win somehow.

I can sorta make an option of this but Betty's the only person there and she's outside waiting for Walt on the porch sooooo.... I'd have to adjust the concept a little.


ok so i just re-read the end, apparently i missed the whole thing about betty being on the porch the first time through, sorry Wink

but if you where to tweak the idea, betty is on the porch, lucky is inside the house, and has been there for some time, already threatened betty, and so on and so forth.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:43 pm    Post subject: religious aliens? Reply with quote

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Smee wrote:
But there's a hole in his theory. If 'They' are out to stop his flight, and are using advance technology to make their attempts to stop him appear like a religious battle. Who are the second 'Theys' who are helping, and why? Are there two species/factions up there, and one wants Walt to reveal all. If so, why doesn't the second simply reveal themselves - done and done?


could it be possible that the two factions of THEM are in fact involved in a religious battle themselves? if they are advanced enough to send people to earth who have seemingly religious battles, don't you think their society has religions as well? interstellar religious battles are not only intriguing, but were walt to find out this could blow his mind. Also sets up nicely for a bit of religious abduction, to make prophecies come true, much like the Star Trek episode that Smee mentioned.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

spowerk wrote:
but if you where to tweak the idea, betty is on the porch, lucky is inside the house, and has been there for some time, already threatened betty, and so on and so forth.

I was thinking something along those lines.

spowerk wrote:
could it be possible that the two factions of THEM are in fact involved in a religious battle themselves? if they are advanced enough to send people to earth who have seemingly religious battles, don't you think their society has religions as well? interstellar religious battles are not only intriguing, but were walt to find out this could blow his mind. Also sets up nicely for a bit of religious abduction, to make prophecies come true, much like the Star Trek episode that Smee mentioned.


I would think their understanding of the universe may transcend ours to such a degree that the term religion may take on new meaning entirely. (This does not agree or disagree with your statement, which I felt was an intriguing insight Wink )
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 8:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

so walt could be right, THEY could be out there and we have viewed them as a divine power. And since THEY are so smart it wouldn't be out of the question for THEM to be exploiting us through this whole "religion" farce?
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A note about the religious theories and cover ups being thrown around in this chapter, I feel the same way CrunchyFrog does
Quote:
Provided the theories, whatever they may represent, are presented in a plausible enough way, I will be more enthralled by the skill of the writer than offended through any beliefs I may hold.
I know it's just a story so it won't offend me, it's not like you are trying to spread the word of Alien Jesus or anything, and if it turns into something like that I would keep reading because I enjoy reading what you write. It is written well, it flows well, and it's a very intelligent story, for intelligent people. If you are offended by a fiction story, don't read it.
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the compliments spowerk!

I'll be the first to say I'm pretty sure I do NOT have everything about God, the Universe and Everything figured out. I'll admit I'm using storytelling to SUGGEST some of the interesting theories I've come across and to SUGGEST a possible scenario that makes all the fragments of that research make sense. I'm not going to try to convince anyone of anything given that this IS more than anything an attempt at little more than some (hopefully Wink ) intelligent entertainment.

That said, if this story helps us to consider some possibilities that might break down some basic assumptions we have about our world... that would be a good thing right?
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey I'm all for breaking down basic barriers, it's the only way to get somewhere in society.
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Will start polling soon... any more suggestions? Particularly on what to say to/how to deal with Betty?
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her everything, and ask her to go with us?

Although options for dealing with Betty will depend on what happened to her - the thing Crunchy pointed out.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mmm. What to say to Betty. Well, that would depend on what he decides to do, I think.

I am still inclined to think that Walt will either pick up on her body language that something has happened, but ignore it because he's too fired up from the events of the day to think straight, or else - he'll just miss it completely.

I think probably the former - he's spent the lion's share of his life with her and knows every quirk in her manner. (just like in the first chapter where he knows she doesn't have to call him for breakfast but does it to stop him from looking at his ageing physique in the mirror) I think he'll know she's encountered some trouble and that might worry him.

Hmmm. He might even be torn on whether to find out from her what's gone on, or just go and prepare for take-off. After all he's got Bouncer looking out for him - provided he doesn't meet his match in Thomas.

It's just that if he stops to ask questions now, he might feel that things will just conspire against him and he'll never get any further in his quest.

I think he'll lie to her to buy time - tell her he's just got to drop something off in the shed, and he'll be back in a few minutes. Tell her that she can explain all over a cup of tea, so tell her to get the kettle on.

She won't believe him, but it will at least buy enough time to get her out of the picture. Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:18 pm    Post subject: What to do with Betty... Reply with quote

I am all for him keeping Betty in the dark, she is already against this whole thing and if she finds out about Bouncer, which she inevitably will, and all the killing going on, she may go to great lengths to stop Walt.

On the other hand they have been together forever it seems, Walt should be able to trust Betty and tell her anything. Walt is also smart enough to cover up any completely horrible things, and I wouldn't be surprised if, after telling Betty, he pulled the "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

A radical idea, but throwing it in for consideration, Walt takes Betty with him to space, because he is worried about what has happened to her and what could happen, keeping her near and safe is the most important thing at the moment.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure I agree with the logic of taking Betty along on the trip.

For one thing, if he wants to keep what's left of his marriage alive, dragging her into his end-life-crisis doesn't seem like the way to go about it to me.

For another thing, the danger to Betty will probably go away the moment he does. If he's off in space and unable to respond to any threats to her wellbeing - or even know about them, should they happen - then there's no point in the higher powers trying to hold her hostage. The best thing he can do right now is to stay away from her until he finds a way to resolve this crisis for himself.

And for a third thing, I doubt the craft will be equipped with so much leeway as to provide extra seating, extra rations and extra weight capacity for another person to board at this stage. If they're on a strict scavenging budget, they simply won't have the mats to spare for that sort of stuff.

However, I'm open to persuasion if anyone disagrees Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For all we know he's planned to take her along from the beginning, especially if he expects to not make it back from this trip. I don't think him callous enough to leave Betty behind, alone, when they could have this one last adventure together.

Perhaps part of his innovations in his ship design serves to reduce the g-force impact, allowing for more comfortable liftoff, even for someone elderly.

From chapter 1 :

Quote:
“Oh get OVER it Walter!” Betty sputtered. “The past is just that… the past. And right here… right now… you have someone who loves you very much and who’s terrified that you’re going to get yourself killed. I don’t know how I could go on living without you Walter.” A tear slid down Betty’s cheek. She sniffled, shifting the thick spectacles on her nose.

“You worry too much my dear. Too too much,” Walter said,


Walter knows how much it'd tear Betty apart if he were to die. Yet despite her emotional outburst, he still replies to her calmly, like he has a plan. A plan to take her with him!

Why else have we even gone home at all? If not to pick Betty up?

Of course with Betty along, it would also serve the purpose, if THEY get in contact, of explaining why he's been so fixated on this goal for 20 years. Some way of demonstrating to Betty that it hasn't all been some old man's foolish dream, but for a very real, important reason.

Pride, love, guilt, passion, caring - plenty of reasons he would take her along to witness 'THEM'.

Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... conspiracy theories within conspiracy theories eh? Walt has a secret agenda of his own, that he hasn't chosen to share with the readers yet?

Possible.

But if we take that as a possibility, it's also a possibility that Betty has her own agenda. Who better to keep an eye on the meddling old man than his own wife - or an alien facsimile of her, planted to report back to THEM and, if possible, to sway her husband against the trip in the first place. She could have been spying on him for years. Decades. And, if he were to take her on the trip, it could be a disaster for him. An alien saboteur running around messing everything up, in the guise of the woman he loved? Even if he saw her for what she was, it would be a hard man who could throw his own wife out the airlock!

So... do we vote on what we know to be true, or on what might possibly be a reality? Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We don't 'know' that the danger will go away from Betty if we leave her.

You're working on assumptions too. For example, there's nothing stopping the Bouncer taking Betty somewhere 'safe' until we get back, only to have to ransom any alien artefacts we might have found to get Betty back?

Quote:

For one thing, if he wants to keep what's left of his marriage alive, dragging her into his end-life-crisis doesn't seem like the way to go about it to me.


Why would he want to just keep his marriage alive when he seems fairly certain he won't survive the trip?

Leaving her in the dark awaiting news of his death hardly seems marriage saving!

About the only way I see of saving the marriage without abandonning the flight, is if they fly up together, and enjoy the lovely view and maybe meet 'Them'.

So... do we vote for miserable angry wife sat at home awaiting news of your death, or just maybe give her a good time Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What if Betty isn't a alien, but still is trying to coax him into not going because somehow she knows something about the aliens we don't...
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What an excellent debate and some real ideas floating around out there in the pool!

Because I know some things the readers don't about what's coming up, I can't just poll on which theory is correct, though some of them do give me pause to consider working some of it into the story so its awesome that its being presented! And I must admit, there are some thoughts here that are more accurate to the truth than others.

But let me just ask this, since it hasn't been asked. And let me not ask it with the intent to create a bias in the debate. If Walt feels he's likely to not return from his mission, how can he justify taking Betty with him? Would that not be akin to signing her death warrant? Or is there enough hope in him that he will make a safe return that he can figure on taking her along and keeping her safe?

I hope it has become clear that while Walt IS obsessed with his mission and wrapped up in what I love has been called an 'end-life-crisis' (thanks for that term Stoat!), he does love his wife, albeit he is irritated that she loves him to the point that she might stifle his need to accomplish what he wishes to, what he feels he needs to, in life.

All that said, I can see, if it can be justified somehow, how he might have built his ship to accomodate another person, might have prepared her a flightsuit in secret, and might have intended, or at least have been ready to, take her along with him on his adventure... probably not on the first flight, but then, things have changed from his original vision, no?

I can confirm that the technology he has developed will make liftoff a very gentle experience, something anyone of any age could endure with ease.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, Poll's up! I didn't ask whether he wishes to fly immediately or not because there was a mass concensus on that issue. So the focus has become Betty and what takes place with her before the flight. Enjoy the voting process!
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... quite a few votes overnight. Thank you all for reading. It does mean a lot to me. We actually have a tie at the moment between two somewhat incompatable options... I could merge them but I'd prefer the tie be broken. Considering that it appears that all my readers have voted already, I MAY run a sub-poll on the two tied options before writing out another chapter.

Or someone might come along to break the tie.
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, I decided not to wait until tomorrow to read this. I just gave everyone orders, that they were to leave me be for an hour or so, so that I could get through this without any interruptions. When I get something in my head, I just have to do it (my mum reckons I've got Obssessive Impulsive Disorder! Laf )

It's brilliant, Thunderbird! Talking about the story as a whole, I love the mixture of Religious Fantasy, Sci-fi, action, and, in places, slight humour. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and even now, so soon after finishing, I can't wait to read more!

I voted that Walt should tell Betty that something has happened, but not explain, and to tell her to go and stay with a relative/friend. I thought that, if he loves her, as he said he did, it would not be right to leave her with nothing. And even if he didn't love her, he knows that she loves him.
I might be wrong, but I get the feeling that this voyage into space is a one man job, so to take her probably wouldn't work, due to the fact that if he is ready to leave that night, all his food supplies would be on board the ship, and he would probably need more if a second person was going along. But I could be wrong.
But I think the former is the kindest option for Betty. So that's why I voted for it.

Really great SG, and I hope it's not too long before the next chapter is up! Very Happy

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you very much for your kind comments Tika! I appreciate that you took the time to read my tale, let alone comment so complimentarily. You did, indeed, break the tie. Therefore, I may well be able to have another chapter up around the end of the weekend or beginning of next week. Things are sorta chaotic in RL at the moment so we'll see, but it'll be soon nevertheless.
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Upon arriving home:
Walt finds Lucky is in the living room, personally there to ensure the flight takes place, with threats if necessary.
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
Walt tells Betty something has happened, there's no time to explain, but she needs to go stay with her sister/daughter/cousin out of state for a little while.
50%
 50%  [ 3 ]
Walt simply ignores Betty, and get ready for take-off.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Walt tells all and insists/asks that Betty accompany him on his flight.
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
Walt lies to her to buy time - tells her he's just got to drop something off in the shed, and he'll be back in a few minutes. He tells her that she can explain all over a cup of tea, so get the kettle on.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Despite attempts to deflect her questions and concerns, Betty demands to accompany Walt and he is forced to accept her company.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Author only vote box
16%
 16%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, Shady Stoat, Smee, spowerq, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon

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