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Chinaren
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PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 11:09 pm    Post subject: The IFY awards! The Results are in! Reply with quote



<Camera pans in from on high. The night sky is lit up with beams from Salamander powered searchlights, crisscrossing the sky and blinding several low flying creatures.

As the view moves down the City Auditorium comes into view, lit up in all its newfound white, (hastily repainted after various Mayoral slogans were discovered daubed in black tar on the walls.)
Now they gleam, and the reflected light shines down upon the crowds thronging Chundyrer Avenue, flocking towards the premium show-night of the year.

The camera zooms in to reveal the Lords, Ladies and general bigwigs of IF all arriving in freshly polished carriages. A red carpet is laid out in front of the main entrance, and paparazzi from as far as distant OHO throng close, waving camera orbs and microphones.

“It is a clear night here in Central IF, and the stars are out! By stars, I don’t mean those little specks of light in the sky, oh no! I mean the stars of IF, in all their resplendent glory!”

<Camera zooms in to reveal a voluptuous figure, whose low cut green dress barely contains her obvious charms, standing on the red carpet.>

“Welcome viewers! This is Emerald Eyul here outside the Auditorium where the second and best ever ever IFYs are about to start! The preliminary rounds have been completed, more on that later, and the guests are arriving for the ceremony! Why, here now is the newly elected Mayor himself, stepping forth in a magnificent Purple and Lime Green gown! Mr. Mayor! Emerald Eyul for CBC news here! Would you care to comment on this year’s competition? Any thoughts on the possible winners?”

"Why certainly Ms. Eyul. This year's IFY's have been fantastic with some very tense ties in the preliminary rounds, and numerous excellent nominations. Should be an awesome event."

“Aha. Very interesting. And is it true that you threatened to raise the rents unless your Storygame won at least two categories?”

"Ha ha, not at all, I already have raised the rent and I'm thinking of doubling it again to 200F to teach that pesky Greed a lesson for stealing All-Round Best from me...er that is, ahem...I mean. Ack that was off the record wasn't it! "

“Ah, haha! I am sure we can edit it for the reruns. Thank you Mr. Mayor! And here is another carriage pulling up, in the shape of a pumpkin! This could only be one person, yes, yes it is! Here is Shady Stoat, dressed in an amazing purple ball gown, complete with sparkly bits and a long train, faithfully carried by some sort of short pencil-like figure. Tell me Ms. Stoat, ChinaBet agency is giving you strong odds that you walk away with a lot of awards for the famous No Good Deed. Do you have any comments on this?”

"Well, Emerald, I've got to say that I'm just extremely pleased to have been nominated. They say there's more than sixty different types of cream-cake at the nominees' reception ball! I expect I'll probably sleep through the ceremony after I've noshed on that much cream-pastry."

“Modest as always Ms. Stoat. Have you anything to say about the rumors that your Frankenstein like creation, the Quizmaster, has broken loose from its containment cage and is running around in the city, maliciously asking questions at innocent people?”

"Really, Emerald! Innocent people? In IF? I suspect you may have your facts wrong there!"

“Thank-you to Shady Stoat, who sweeps away, berating her lackey for not keeping up and making room for the next guest, who arrives in a flutter of daisies. It is none other than Ethereal Fauna, carried up the carpet in one hand by a rather imposing Orc-like figure in a rather tight tuxedo.”

“Ms. Fauna, some people have said that you have cruelly subjugated this poor Orc here to perform terrible acts in your name. What would you say to that?”

“There isn’t anything terrible at all in acts performed whilst being subjugated by me, and I hardly consider this cruelty. Now where’d I put that leash?”

“Very interesting. And who is your favorite for All Round Best? Any thoughts?”

“Ooooh look, a butterfly…”

“Thank you Fairy Fauna. And what’s this? A large group of black clad figures has swarmed up to the edge of the carpet, brutally beating aside several reporters from IF, not that they don’t deserve such a beating of course. It can only be his most Royal of Highnesses, King Key the First!”

<camera swings to reveal the ASS squads pulling away several bodies as a gold trimmed, black glassed Carriage pulls up, hauled by about thirty buxom maidens. A uniformed fellow looks left and right before opening the door, to reveal the full bodied figure of Key standing up, an act which threatens to tip the carriage over.>

“Your Majesty! Welcome to the IFYs! May I say what a…a, er, dashing figure you cut in your royal robes! For those of you watching on black and white orbs, the King is wearing a Deep Purple and luminous yellow cloak, which swings behind a sparkling shirt of golden ruffles and ah, clinging leather pants which stop just under the knees, topping his ermine boots. Of course perched upon the royal noggin is the Gilded…er Golden crown, glistening with mostly precious jewels.

King Key, your worshipfulness, is it true that you have decided that Kinghood is not a high enough estate, and you are thinking of promoting yourself once again, this time into Godhood?”

"Ah well, upward and onward, as they say. But I've no plans for that yet. I'm still enjoying the fruits of kingship. After years of nearly wasting away as Mayor, I've even started to put on a few pounds."

“I thought you were looking healthy. And so, what are your initial comments for the Common People here at the IFYs tonight?”

"I hope you all eat well and have a good time tonight. Just remember: in the City of IF, imagination is reality, so whatever happens is your fault."

“Thank-you your highness, always a pleasure speaking to you.”

<Emerald curtsies and then turns once again to the camera>

“Well viewers, we will have more as the guests arrive. In the meantime, let’s go inside to Bob McBobsky, and Whisper the White!”

<Emerald waits a moment and then turns and looks off camera.>

“Look, next time get someone else to interview Smee okay? He did it again! He purposely rubbed up against my t…”


Thanks to Smee, Stoat, Kinky and Flauna for their comments.


Last edited by Chinaren on Wed May 24, 2006 3:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2006 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

<Scene cuts to inside the Auditorium which is a bustling hive of activity. The stage is showing a dance troop, The Fears, dressed in clown outfits and performing a daring ballet piece. The camera switches to Bob McBobsky and the alluring figure of Whisper the White, dressed in a sparkling white dress.>

“Welcome to the 2006 IFYs! This is Bob McBobsky here, with my gorgeous co-host, Whisper the White!”

“Yes indeed! Welcome everyone!”

“We have a star studded line up here tonight, with shows from a variety of famous acts from home and abroad. Later we will have the newcomer, White Blacksmith and her juggling midget, The Imp with No Name!”

“Looking forward to it Bob! As well as that we will also have Nalloon, crooning his latest hit: ‘Smee won’t let me in.’”

“I hear it is all the rage in Muaddib’s nightclubs Whisper!”

“Indeed it is Bob! And whilst the guests are still settling in, why don’t we go to the VIP box, and that whisky drinking toad of an ex-husband of mine, Bub Bubbabub.”

“Er, yes, why not.”

<Camera cuts to Bub, who is drinking deeply from a glass of Old Stoat Peculiar in the VIP lounge>

“Welcome welcome! <hick> This is Bob Bubbabbubbabub, saying <hick> thank-you to Bob and that Ice witch, Whisper the Won’t. I am here tonight with some of the nominees, who are here partaking of a luxurious spread laid on by the Mayor and Kinky, in conjunction with Chinaren inc. catering services. Let’s get some thoughts shall we?”

<He staggers over to a large pile of mud, which is lounging on one side of a diminutive figure eating Turkish Delight.>

“Mr. Soilymon, what do you think of tonight’s events?”

“Well Bob, I would like to say that things went according to plan, but, you know... WHAT IS THAT!? Is that A-grade loam! Bogger me!”

“Um, no, it turned out to be a regular dirt clod. Sorry. I think that they were good fun, 'sepcially with all the blatant cheating going on, so I say roll on next year!"


“That’s very <hick> interesting. I must have drunk more than I thought. How about yourself Ms. Alba? As a relative <hick> newcomer to IF, what are your thoughts about your nomination?”

"Well, Mr. Bob... bob bob bob bob bob. Um. I must say, this is a grodily shocking and, to put it quite frankly, humbling experience for m--"

<She's cut off as an obnoxious, electronic rendition of the Monty Python opening sequence deedle-dees into life. She quickly rummages around in her sloppily-fitting tunica and fishes out a gigantic Orb phone>

"Just a second; I need to take this. Hello?... Yes, what? What? Yes, I can now... What? What do you mean I'll have to share a trailer? Tell them I want my own or nothing. Yes... Yes... No! I don't care how famous the caterer is, I have a very strict diet! I'm almost out of Turkish Delight as it is, and I wouldn't want to be you if they don't get another shipment in pretty darn soon... Yes... Yes... Well, good. And tell them I only drink room-temperature Porrier with a thin lemon slice, a sprig of fresh mint, and five medium-sized ice cubes. Porrier, you know! The Drink imported from OF! What, you got wax in your ears? Well, get on it! Ciao!"

<Slamming the monstrous phone shut with a thud, she turns back to the interviewer.>

"Like I was saying, Mr. Bob Etc., it's been a humbling experience for me."

“Eloquent as always, Ms. Alba, perhaps you would be interested in joining me <hick> in that closet over there later for a quick… ah, no? Well, very well then. Next we have <hick> one of our resident Demons, Lord of The Night. Lordy, who is your money on today?”

"Kagemusho had better take away the supporting character IFY, or there's a lot of us who will be very angry. And I mean Angry. With a capital A,G,R,Y, Oh, and an N."

“Uh hu. And what about <hick> All Round Best? Any predictions there?”

"Both Greed and NGD look to be strong contenders, but in only one of them do you get to see me, which has got to be a definite bonus. Plus, you get to see my certain daemonic mistress wearing not much" *slobbers*.

"All in all it should be an entertaining day, and I hope to walk away with a tidy profit, due to a certain Bookie friend of mine."

“Thank you Mr. Lordy!”

<turns back to the camera>

“There you go, and now, back to the box and my old good friend, Bob, stuck in there with that frigid bi…”

<switches back to Bob and Whisper who are now on the stage.>

“Well, here we are Whisper, I would say again, but this is our first time in this particular venue.”

“Absolutely Bob, and I am thrilled to be here with everyone! The stadium is looking lovely tonight, for which thanks must go to the Master of Ceremonies, Ingrochundyer!”

<Camera switches to Ingro, who is busily beating one of his lackey’s for some minor infringement. He pauses momentarily to wave before resuming the punishment>

“A busy man Whisper.”

“Certainly is Bob, but who else can get those OFian servants to toe the line?”

“Before we start the awards, we have a special guest. Let’s bring him on shall we?”

<Bob gestures and a large man wheels on a trolley. Attached to it with chains and restraints is a figure in a faded blue suit. A cage is around his mouth and his head is held in place with clamps. Bags cover his hands, which are held immobile by iron bands at the wrist. The man wheels him up to the microphone Orb and stands the trolley upright so he can speak into it.>

"I have been time-honored as the father of the IFy's....ah yes, that was soooo long ago that my memory dwindles only trying to remember. Although now I am but the remainders of a decrepit cripple, drooling, salivating, farting and wearing diapers...well, even now, I still feel the spirit of IFy's in my heart. I feel love swell up inside me when I think of the honor of receiving an IFy, so many, many years ago. And today, after stuffing my old, wrinkled body into this equally boring blue tuxedo, only so that I could speak these few words to you, I say: May the spirit of the IFy's live on forever!"

“Thank-you Mr. D-Lotus! And there he goes, back to the holding cell for another year!”

“Now, let’s move swiftly on and introduce the nominees for Best Description/Detail!”

“Sure thing! We have, from Fantasy, Uncertain Quests from Dragon Fire! A tale of a Blind Wizard that dazzles!”

“From Humor, a recent winner of SGotM, the modestly titled ‘Greatest Fantasy Story Ever!’ by Ms. Alba!”

“A very funny tale Bob. And from funny to chilling, ‘The Carvers Blossoms,’ a recently finished SG by the waistline challenged Fairy herself, Ethereal Fauna!”

“It’s only the first nommy and already we have a hard fight on our hands. Three excellent tales, all very different. Who is it going to be?”

“We will know soon!”

“For the second award of the night, we have the award for ‘Best Decision Points’.”

“Remember, this is for overall decision points, not just one, and all of these are excellent nominations, I for one am at a loss who deserves this title.”

“They all do Whisper, they all do.”

“So, who are they? Well, the first one is took the nomination in Fantasy by a landslide, ‘The Time Before’ by our illustrious Mayor Smee!”

“Followed up by the first of many nominations tonight for ‘No Good Deed’ by that Shifty Stoat!”

‘The first, but not the last Bob. And next we have the Skiffy nomination, which was a clear winner in that section, ‘Heroes Never Panic’ by Lebrenth!”

“Who will take this one? Smee’s SG broke the mold with some innovative and varied decision points.”

“Yet Stoat’s NGD stimulated a lot of sometimes frenzied discussion and allowed for some very imaginative responses.”

“Let’s not forget HNP, which has had some truly make or break choices.”

“I can’t wait to see Bob!”

“Now, this category only has two entries! Best Co-written. The much participated in ‘Battle to the End’ with a huge number of participants for Fantasy, looms above the wild and crazy ‘Magnolia Lane’ from Skiffy. Will BttE overwhelm the newer effort?”

“It’s anyone’s guess Bob!”

“The next one is a biggy Whisper!”

“That’s what Bub used to say Bob.”

“Ah, yes. Still, we have Best Plot. Leading the batting for Fantasy is ‘The Time Before’ with its second nomination.”

“Also with the second nomination of three is ‘No Good Deed’, from Stoat in Humor.”

“Finally, it’s Lebby with his Heroes Never Panic story from Skiffy.”

“Wow, it’s anyone’s guess who will take this. Three stunning SGames going head to head to head.”

“What’s the fifth Category then Whisper?”

Best Style/Most Original Bob. “

“That’s it. From Fantasy we have ‘Good vs Evil vs Money’, with its unrivalled bidding system and inventive use of real people! A stunner!”

“You have to say that Bob, Chinaren pays your wages.”

“That may be true, but let’s not dwell on it and introduce ‘Dear Dotty’ written by Powers That Be. A Storygame written in Agony Aunt format, with a dark underside!”

“Finally in this category is ‘The Angels Destiny’ by Argos, a Storygame that breaks the mold of dull monochrome by using animation and sound!”

“Wow! It’ll never catch on Bob!”

“Well, it is certainly original, and that is what this category is all about!”

“Meanwhile, in Best Supporting Character we have a wide choice, as Skiffy couldn’t as seem to make their minds up we have three!”

“Yes Whisper! We have ‘Glomph’ from The Deleria, by Crymzon, Nate from A Nightmare Realized, by DragonFire and a relative newcomer, The General from Pillbox, by Ravagerrr.”

“And from Fantasy we have Kagemusho from the tongue twisting A Fronte Praecipitium by Lordy, and none other than God himself from Eve of Destruction by Lebrenth in Humor!”

“All worthy contenders!”

“After best supporting character then, come Best Character, and from Fantasy we have Larson, Bounty Hunter by Jack D.Mented, brutally hacking his way forward.”

“By contrast we have a desperate young musician with strange things happening to him when all he wants is to get it on with a pretty girl. Andrew Pickford in Quest for Rubber Duckie by Solomon is from HEM.”

“Finally in this category we have a hard put upon Captain of a Deep Space vessel, Ben from Sector 507 by that handsome Chinaren. What a man!”

“My thoughts exactly Whisper.”

“Well viewers! The polls are up and we are expecting the results in any time now! Once this round is done, we will move onto the prestigious Best All Round!”

“Can’t wait Whisper! In the meantime, here is Nalloon singing his latest one man band hit…”

<Cuts to Nalloon, dressed in a pink suit who starts to croon away…>

“Smeeeee woooon’t let me innnnn…
Iv’e begged and begged, with tears running down my chiiiiinnn…”


….

Credits to Soily, The Alba, Lordy and D-Lotus for relevant sections.
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:27 am    Post subject: The Awards!! Reply with quote

“SMmmmmeeEEEEEEEEEE WWwooooooooOOOOoOOoooOOOnnnnnT leeeEEEEeet meeeEEEEeeEE IiiiiinnNNNNnnnNNNNNN!”

“Phew! Thank you Nalloon! What a voice that guy has Whisper!”

“A beautiful song Nalloon! Now then! I have just heard the results are in!”

“They were in several days ago surely?”

“Well, yes, but there was a delay in finding some golden envelopes. We know how important they are don’t we?”

“Can’t have an award ceremony without Golden Envelopes Whisper!”

“Before we move on though, a quick word from our Mayor; let’s have a big hand for Smee!!”

<Camera moves over to Smee, who strolls with dignity up to the podium, though not before Fauna manages to pin a big ‘Learner’ notice on his back.>

"A wonderful number of voters turned out, and my thanks to you all. Congratulations of course to the Winners - It's great to see so many different people rewarded with much deserved IFY's. Now if I could just persuade Bob to come back with my Honourific-Wand I could add them to the profiles."

“Thank-you Smee! Inspiring words!”

“Let’s get on with it then! Here, in no particular order are the envelopes!”

“First on the pile is…”

Best Description/Detail. And the winner is a gory tale of er, gore… The Carver’s Blossoms, by our resident Fairy, Ethereal Fauna!”

<Fauna is shown shaking her hands in triumph and giving her Orc companion a big kiss before fluttering up to the stage, where she lands on the podium.>

“I certainly appreciate all my Carver fans. Wonderful to receive the best detail/description award for my brutal depictions. Thank-you very much!”

<Fauna blows kisses to the crowd and then attempts to take off carrying the IFY, only to find it is rather heavy and lands on Stoat’s table, in the middle of a big pile of cream cakes. She remains where she is, and wallows in cakedome, much to the distress of Stoat.>

“For the next one we have a Storygame that has recently been resurrected from the Dead, with the Return of the Powers! Yes, that’s right! The highly acclaimed Dear Dotty takes Best Style/Most Original, in a hard fought, but deserved win!”

<There is a strange shimmering in the air, and red skinned figure can be seen on stage, dressed in tight leather robes and holding a whip. A voice speaks from the magical shells around the stage.>

“I am sorry, but Powers is busy right now. If you would like to leave a message, please speak after the screams…”

“Ah, er sorry about that! It seems that Powers is unavailable just now!”

“Never mind Bob. Let’s move on. For the Best Co-written we have a recording, made before the show.”

<Large Orb lowers and flickers into life, showing Smee, Fauna and Chainfire.”

Fauna: “Thank you all! I would like to recognize Mordok for his fantastic character concept in Spellsinger. Jakeen has been a marvelous character to write.”

ChainFire: “I just wanted to thank my team for all of their hard work. I also wanted to thank D-Lotus for letting me co-author it with him and having such great patience with me.”


“Thank you team Battle! The IFY is in the post!”

“We have Best supporting character next, and a vote that was pretty close. However, God came out triumphant, so let’s welcome Lebrenth up on the stage!”

<Lebby waves his hands about in triumph and strolls up with his green and yellow cloak billowing behind him.>

“God represented the inner child that could create and destroy at whim, without guilt or consequence, but until he was nurtured by the participants of EVE OF DESTRUCTION, his existence wasn't validated and he would have faded before his story was complete. I would like to thank the voters and participants for bringing a character to life that wins me an award! Oh Yeah! I got an IFy! And you didn't! Hahahahahahaha!”
“Thank you.”


“Thank you Lebrenth! Now we move up to Best Character, which was taken by a relatively new character, Larson Bounty Hunter, by Jack DM!”

<A shadow collects on the stage, slowly growing until it solidifies into the human shape of Jack, who accepts the award from Whisper.>

"I think I'd just like to thank everyone, even those of you who didn't vote for Larson. I never once, when making him on Icewind Dale as the party leader, thought that I would even use him for a story, much less a successful one. I thank you all for your wonderful support of a character that has not only come alive to you, but to me as well. Cause, well, if anything, Larson is me, or at least what I wish I was. So thank you for voting for both me and my red cloaked alter ego."

"PARTY AT CHINA'S PLACE! STAGE DIVE!"


<Jack dives off the stage to land of a nearby desert trolley, which rolls down the aisle to colliding with Tramp in A Storm, who falls on top of it. The trolley continues up the aisle, shedding éclairs as it goes, to finally tumble down the stairs to the restrooms. A loud crash and screams can be heard as it lands in the ladies.>

Best Decision Points! A hard fought one this, between No Good Deed and The Time Before, but in the end it was indeed The Time Before that took it! Step up please Mayor Smee!”

<Camera moves to Smee who waves at the crowds, dodges Stoat who tries to trip him up, tries to kiss Whisper, who ducks out of the way, and takes the award from Bob.>

"Thank you, thank you. My respects to a worthy opponent in No Good Deed, and only a narrow victory. Now to go and find room for this delightful award. Do I throw away some of those useless "Soap Guessing" trophies cluttering my mantelpiece? Or maybe splash out on a new trophy cupboard made from finest poot root? What do I do?"

<Blows some kisses to the crowd and makes a dramatic gesture. A puff of pink smoke surrounds him, and when it dissipates... Smee is still there. He looks around, scowls a moment and then stalks off the stage.>

“Now we have Best Plot! It was a another close battle between TTB and NGD, but the winner this time was…”

“No Good Deed by Shady Stoat!”

<Camera Pans to Stoat, who looks up with a mouth full of cake. Prodded by friends and well wishers, and dodging Smee who tries to trip her up, she takes the podium and avoids a kiss from Bob.>

“Thanks guys. I'm terrible at speeches, so I'll just say this. The IFY is great, but it couldn't mean more to me than the fantastic responses and comments I got from the readers of No Good Deed as it developed.
You were all inspirational and, just in case I haven't told you this before, I couldn't have done it without you.”


<Dabs a hanky to her eye as she wobbles off down the stairs. Several members of the audience break down in tears.>

“Just one more to go then Bob!”

“That’s right Whisper! It’s….”

<Lights go down, drumroll starts.>

ALL ROUND BEST!

“Who could it be Bob? Who is worthy enough to handle such an honor?”

“Not many people Whisper! It would have to be a person of outstanding character, with great big cahonies!”

“Or great big somethings anyway. So, without any delay, let’s announce the winner, who is…”

“None other than that wondrous, magnificent, marvelous, handsome…”

“Yes, that’s okay Bob, I think we get the message…”

“Chinaren!”

<There is an explosion of purple flame and Chinaren drops down from above the stage, landing on his head and bouncing a few feet before coming to rest. He picks himself up and dusts himself down, nods to Bob and winks at Whisper before taking the award and standing at the podium.>

“I don’t know what to say, really. Thank-you all for voting for Greed. I really didn’t expect to win this one. All the nominations were excellent. When I started Greed it was in response to the introduction of the Fable for a bit of fun. I never dreamed it would scale such dizzy heights! Thank you one and all! I will see you out there!”

<A trapdoor opens and swallows the Orange figure, much to the surprise of Bob and Whisper.>

“Finally then, before we wrap this up I would like to present his Majesty, King Key the First who will say a few words.”

<Bob bows and Whisper curtsies as the Grand orb that is Key sweeps forward majestically. Nodding to the presenters he steps up to the podium with dignity.”

“I'd like to be serious for a moment.

First, congratulations both to the IFy winners and nominees! And thank you to all those who participated in these awards in one way or another, by voting or nominating or writing or playing in one of the nominated storygames. The IFy awards push us upward and onward, as we recognize what we like best about the storygames, so that we can all learn from and be inspired by it. So I'm proud to see this become a tradition.

I'm also proud of how far we've come as a community. Four years ago we didn't have a city at all. Two years ago, the site had only one Storygame. Now we have so many storygames of such high quality that not only could we hold a competition like this, but we needed multiple rounds of voting just to narrow the field.

We're creating beautiful things here, spinning stories in a way that no one else is or has before. It feels to me like this is just the beginning. But even if some disaster happened and the city were to close tomorrow, I'd be happy knowing that together we created something worthwhile. Thank you all for that.”


“So there we have it Whisper! The 2006 IFY awards! A battle of Great stories! Who will be here next year I wonder?”

“Who indeed Bob, who indeed. For now though, this is Whisper the White…”

<Cuts to picture of the entranceway, where Emerald is seemingly accepting some sort of payment from Muaddib…>

“Emerald Eyul!”

<To the ViP lounge, where Bub is busy vomiting in to Lordy’s hat>

“Bub Bubbabub!”

<Back to the stage>

“And Bob McBobsky, saying… thank-you for watching! It’s been an honor! Until next year…”

Good Bye and… Happy Writing!” (Holds Breath).

<Balloons drop from the ceiling and the camera pans out…>

End.

Thanks to the writers for their contributions.
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