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Geek_girl72
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 Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, the poll is up now. I'll let it go for about a week then get started on the 5th chapter.
Oh, Hope you all had a good holiday.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 2:55 pm Post subject: |
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Voted for sending self into fire. Seems to be a reasonable choice and one way that we know will cause pain to the phantom.
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 5: A Deal with the Devil
With all my might, I shoved off with my back foot, causing myself to stumble and topple head first into the crackling blaze. A scream, horrific and pulsing with agony, rang through my head and blended with my own as it faded. Mother and Henry sat bolt upright in time to see me stagger out, clothes flaming and blood pouring from my hand. I am not exactly sure what happened next, I think mother fainted. The world was getting hazy and I was only dimly aware of Henry throwing his cloak over me to suffocate the flames. He propped me up on his arm, and tried to understand what had taken place.
“What happened Hal? Were you attacked?”
I muttered something unintelligible. The pain, the dread of what had almost happened, and the shock wave of relief coursing through me made it impossible to say anything. Henry ceased his attempts at questioning me, and folding up his cloak placed it under my head. He leaned closer, searching my face and whispered in a voice thick with regret:
“You can hear him, can’t you?”
His grief-stricken eyes were the last things I was aware of before darkness engulfed me.
* * *
Even thought I still recall the tale of my youth with a shudder, I am tempted to say I would live it all over again for the sight that greeted me when I regained consciousness. A woman’s face was staring into mine, and such a face! I do not mean to say that she was beautiful, not in appearance at least, that was ordinary enough: Brown hair and eyes, average height and weight, and unspectacular voice. It was rather expression in her aspect that was wonderful to behold. Just as Henry had carried an air of torment and unrest, this woman carried peace, a subtle joy, and all things reassuring about with her.
“Good morning Hal, I’m glad I get the chance to meet you awake, I’ve heard so much about you.”
I sat up slowly, more than a little confused, and glanced about my surroundings. I was lying on a cot and propped up with several fat pillows. The room was dotted about with bookshelves and comfortable looking armchairs. More windows then seemed possible for its size flooded the room with light; no trace of shadow had anywhere to hide. The walls were a bright white, hung all over with rich tapestries and vibrantly colored portraits. The whole room was foreign to fear and glowing with happy memories. Many of the faces depicted in the portraits were laughing, or smiling as if they knew some delightful secret. To find oneself in such a room after the nightmare before! It made everything I had gone through seem unreal, a distant memory or bad dream half forgotten. However, most surprising of all, was what was missing. As I moved, the shock of pain I had expected from my numerous burns did not come. Staring down at my bare chest and arms, I saw that not a single mark was on my body, not even the faintest scar on my hand, where the knife had nearly pierced. The lady sitting next to me laughed.
“Confused? I don’t blame you. Henry told me what you did; it was very brave of you.”
“Wha...Where exactly am I?”
“You’re in the Temple of Adon; a little ways from the cave you had you unfortunate mishap.”
“This is a temple?”
“Well, part of it. It also serves as a home for his Priests and Priestesses. I am one of them, my name is Gloria.”
So the lady was a Priestess. The lack of injuries on my person made more sense now. I had often heard of the abilities of Gloria’s kind, but having never seen it first hand, had thought it all exaggeration and yarn spinning.
“Then are you…”
“The help Henry spoke of? Yes. He explained everything about your journey so far when he brought you, and while you may have behaved a bit foolishly, I can’t say I think less of you for it,”
“And how is it that you can help?”
“First of all by answering your questions. I’m sure there are a dozen things you’d like to know.”
I sighed inwardly with relief. Finally, someone would give me a straight answer. But now that the moment had come, I hesitated. I felt like a man called on to identify a body. With the answers I wanted so much would come knowledge of my plight the coward in me did not want. I forced that part of me back dawn, and picked the question I thought most important.
“What precisely is Kala?”
“Oh! That requires quite an explanation. You may as well make yourself comfortable. Eons ago the God of Life and Creation, Adon, saw that his brother Kelmur, ruler of the dead and the underworld, was taking some of his temporal creations before their time. Why Kelmur did this no one can say. Perhaps he was jealous, or power hungry, or both. Whatever the reason, a bitter conflict broke out. The first stage of it ended when Kelmur crossed the void between the physical and higher realm and entered the world Adon had created. Until this point Adon had held back his full strength, trying to give his brother a chance to repent. But this invasion was an insult not to be tolerated. He wrested control of the underworld from Kelmur, while casting him out of this world and sealing him out of the higher realm that was their home. His intention was to imprison The Dark god in the eternal void between all worlds, but Kelmur used the last part of his waning power to secure an anchor here. He did this by taking possession of a living person. Who this man was before has been forgotten, he called himself Kelmur afterwards, but he must have been evil to the core, for what was done required a willing participant.”
“Wait a minute! If he needed a willing person, how do you explain what has been happening to me?”
“I was just getting to that. This fleshly person was Kelmur’s tie to this world. He proceeded to wreak havoc, attempting to destroy what he could not conquer. It is likely that he would have succeeded, had not Adon also descended into his own world. How he did this though is unknown, because he robbed no one of their person. The war raged on, and the world still bears the scars of it in some places. It eventually ended, as all conflict between light and dark do, with darkness being dispelled. The man Kelmur used was killed, and his body placed in a crypt inside a deep mountain. However, it still was not over. Kelmur clung to the lifeless body he possessed, keeping from decaying and maintaining his tie to this world by a thread. For ages he lay there, imprisoned by his crypt and the immobile remains. Then a war broke out among men. It was something trivial enough in itself; I think it had to do with land or some such matter, but brutal to both sides.”
“I still don’t understand what this has to do with me.”
“Be patient Hal, I was just about to explain. The Aldoras at that time were a small insignificant clan. Despised for their cowardice and weakness of body, their name was used as a byword and insult. One man in particular was looked down on even by the Aldoras. This man was different though; the insults and mockery heaped on him did not make him fearful like the others, but filled him with rage. There was a…darkness in him, which went unnoticed only because of his inability to act on it. Then one day, while wandering around the land his family owned, he heard a voice calling him. He followed it, and found himself at the base of a large mountain. He entered, following the mournful call through the pitch-black catacombs to its source. Eventually, the man stood before two great doors of stone, carved with symbols depicting Kelmur’s defeat. The man realized what he was standing in front of, but instead of fleeing he was pleased. He opened the door and entered the crypt, filled with the vile relics of Kelmur’s time here. Three things in particular caught his attention: A sarcophagus on the other side of a pit containing a raging fire, a pedestal bearing a sealed scroll on his left, and a large cloudy mirror on his right. The man looked into the mirror first, and saw an image that was himself but not himself at the same time. It was a picture of much more powerful version of him, taller, stronger, and an expression of unanswerable evil. Kelmur had chosen his target wisely, for the man was disgusted by his own weakness. What words Kelmur spoke to him I do not know, but what happened seems to have something to do with the scroll on the pedestal. Opening it was like signing a contract, accepting the offer Kelmur put forth. But the arrangement this time was different than the one Kelmur had made before. The first man he had used like a cloak, but the second man surrendered himself completely, and the evil of all evils ran through his very blood. That man was Hal the first, your namesake. Kala is the word used to describe the plight of his descendants; it means ‘bad blood’. Since a part of your ancestor is in you, Kelmur has a hold on you regardless of what you wish. The curse on your family is not one of spirits or haunting, it literally flows in your veins.”
I sat in silence for some time, the hopelessness of my situation fully coming home to me. How can one fight oneself? Gloria watched me with pity as my shoulders slumped and I buried my head in my hands.
“…And there is no way to free myself from it?”
“Yes Hal, there is one way.”
“There is?! How? What do I have to do to rid this curse from me? I’ll do anything, no matter what it is.”
“You have to do the impossible Hal; you have to redeem all the past history of your family.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The Rite of Passage your family goes through is a reenactment of what Hal the first did. Every person when they come of age enters the crypt and opens the scroll, re-affirming the agreement, surrendering a part of themselves to the dark god. With you it is even worse. Most of the Aldoras receive only a residual of Kelmur’s power, he choosing a direct descendant of his original servant to carry him through the world. Every generation or so, when his current anchor becomes old, he leaves them, returning to his crypt and calls his next victim. The Aldoras have become so twisted they look on the person called with envy, wishing they had the ‘honor’ of being chosen themselves.”
“That’s why I can hear him?”
“Yes. He is trying to bring to the crypt.”
“But why does he need to? In the cave-”
“As you are now he has a hold on you because of your heritage. He can control your actions to a certain extent. But since you have not gone through the ritual of the scroll he cannot use his power through you. He needs you to resume his reign of terror on this land. For centuries, he has held the people here in his grip. He has not built up an entire people, the Aldoras, as his followers for nothing. With each generation he regains some of his power, and soon if he is not stopped the world will revert to the same war that tormented it millennia ago.”
“And what is the impossible way I’m supposed to stop him?”
“You have to enter the crypt, face Kelmur, and leave with out performing the ritual. That will break the cycle, leaving him without an anchor and trap him in his prison again.”
“That’s it? I have to not do something?”
“Don’t relax yet, it’s never been done before. Even your father, who hated his very name and fought his curse for years, could not do it. Henry fought the Aldoras themselves, hating his legacy just as much if not more, and he still could not do it when the time came. They could not conquer themselves, they gave in to the temptation for power, and you are faced with the same task. Your mission is not to defeat some great foe, but yourself.”
I felt like a heavy weight had been placed on my shoulders. If someone like my father, like Henry, could not overcome this awful inner weakness what hope did a kid like me have? There was nothing noble or outstanding about me, I was simply a scrawny kid often spooked by his own shadow, and this woman was asking me to stare down the god of death. A part of me knew beyond any doubt that this task was impossible, there was no way I could do it. But another part of me knew I had to try, even if it meant my downfall, to take the nonexistent chance of living free. I looked at Gloria, who had sat in silence for some minutes, leaving me to my own thoughts.
“How soon can I leave?”
A smile broke over her face, but there was a mixture of pride and sadness in it, like one who watches a loved one going off into a dangerous battle. I knew then that this lady had as much confidence in me as I did.
“Your mother is waiting with Henry downstairs now.”
* * *
I understood now the absence of peace of Henry’s face, and even though no mirror was to be found knew that I must have begun to look the same. The weight of all I had learned about myself left me no hope of getting out of this mess with my sanity intact. When I entered the room downstairs, Henry and my mother jumped up from their seats by a window (that whole place was a mass of windows) and begun a string of exclamations of relief at seeing me on my feet. Apparently I had been unconscious for two days and caused them not a little bit of anxiety. My mother looked at me and her face sunk.
“You’re going to leave now, aren’t you?”
“I have no choice mother.”
Her face set the way I had seen it many times when we had an especially bad year at the farm and the threat of starvation was very real.
“I’m going to come with you.”
“No, mother, you can’t. Look what almost happened before!”
“I don’t care; I’m not letting you go there alone.”
“Hal is right. If he loses control again there is no surety he could fight it off like last time. Let me go with him, I can defend myself if worst comes to worst.”
The two argued like this for a while, each insisting I couldn’t go alone and not wanting to put the other in danger. Finally I put up my hands to silence both of them.
“Neither of you are coming with me. If something happens I don’t want your blood on my hands. I’m going alone and that’s final.”
Tears welled up in my mother’s eyes, and that same look of sad pride played about her face. How long the three of us stood there I do not know, mother gazed hard into my face as if it was her last chance to memorize it. She embraced me tightly, whispered some words of comfort I couldn’t quite distinguish through her tears, and left the room slowly, pausing at the doorway for one last look at her son before disappearing from view. Henry lingered for a moment, and a smile crossed his face.
“You know kid, when I first met you in the woods I had you pegged as a wimp. I guess I’ve been proven wrong.”
And with out further comment he turned and followed my mother out of the room.
* * *
I struck out towards the black outline of an enormous mountain alone. With every step I took, I felt like a man headed towards his execution. The day began to fade, and the odious mountain blended with the sky. I kept pushing myself onward in spite of the dark, thinking that if I stopped my nerve would fail me and I’d go running back to that safe haven and hide for the rest of my life. Never before had I wished for a companion so badly, but at the same time I was glad to be alone. I wasn’t as ashamed of the fear rising in me as the sun sank. It was a relief to know that when I jumped at every noise there was no one to see it. When it got dark enough that I could not see I halted, searching for a place to pass the night. After a bit of searching I settled down between the roots of a large tree and made myself as comfortable as possible. I was just beginning to nod off when a noise snapped me back into wakefulness. It has sounded like a twig breaking. Close by. I peered into the darkness for any sign of movement, but the stars provided meager light and I could only see a few feet. I stood slowly to my feet and waited, nothing happened.
I was beginning to feel foolish for my jitteriness when it happened again: A crunching sound of footsteps on the forest floor. I moved back a few steps, the hidden person picked up their pace. I turned and began walking quickly away, the steps behind followed. I broke into a run, and my pursuer did likewise. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, and the sound of who or what was chasing me grew more and more distant. When the sound had quite died away, I stopped to catch my breath and leaned against a tree, congratulating myself on a successful evasion. I should have been more careful. An ice-cold hand with an iron hold grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me off me feet. Before I could even realize what had happened a fist pummeled into my jaw and snapped my head back violently. The hand released me, and no sooner had I hit the ground then my assailant’s foot sailed into my stomach. I tried to get up and run away, but two hands took hold of me and threw me hard against a tree as easily as if I were so many feathers. My mouth was filled with blood, the wind knocked clean out of me, and I was certain something was broken. The footsteps began to approach again just as the moon came out from behind a cloud, forcing its pale light through the trees and illuminating Donovan’s face.
“U…Uncle?”
“Silence brat! I’m ashamed to call you my brother’s son, you worthless, pathetic, waste of space!”
He grabbed me again and pulled me to eye level. Gone were the laughing eyes and jolly smile. A vehement rage of pure hatred hissed with his breath and made the veins in his neck pop out.
“So you would deny your birthright? Obliterate the only greatness our people have known? You would subject us to the obscurity and contempt of our former days? You do not deserve life, regardless of who your father was!”
A second time he hurled me to the ground. Desperately I tried to drag myself away from the madman in front of me, convinced he meant to end my life right there. I was right. He reached into his cloak and drew the same sword he had fought Henry with before, and started towards me.
“I’m going to relieve this earth of your miserable excuse of an existence!”
Panic gripped me. I had no weapon, no means of defending myself. This thing before me could out run me and had enough strength to crush the life from my body without his sword. I had no way out. This was the end. But as despair began to fill me a blur suddenly leaped out of the brush and plowed right into Donovan, knocking his sword out of his hand and tumbling with him to the ground. It was Henry. Donovan landed a ferocious punch in Henry’s face, throwing him off him. He scrambled to his feet in an attempt to regain his sword, but Henry grabbed his foot and twisted it, bring his foe down with a cry of pain. He turned toward where I sat stunned by the suddenness of the whole thing and shouted urgently:
“Hal, run!”
I didn’t budge, not knowing whether leaving my friend to grapple with this monster or putting my self in a fight I could not win was the lesser of two evils. My eyes lighted on were Donovan’s sword lay a few yards away and shot back to Henry with a question in them. He struggled to hold his enemy down and shook his head violently.
“No Hal! He will not hesitate to kill you, do as I say!”
I reluctantly stood to my feet, and saw in Henry’s face the same despair that had been on mine a moments before. I felt sick to my stomach as I realized he was sacrificing himself to save me. The coward in me screamed at me to be reasonable, to accept what Henry was trying to do; but a part of me that had been growing stronger rooted my feet to the spot. I didn’t know which side would win out.
What does Hal do?
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Last edited by Geek_girl72 on Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, one inportant thing: I'm considering letting this be the last DP in the story. I could drag it out a little longer if I wanted but I think it would show. What do you think?
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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Another great chapter GeekGirl 
Let the story go at its own pace. There's no point forcing it or dragging it out. You've made some good choices so far, I trust your judgement as an author 
As for the DP, I think it would be more sensible for Hal to put his first priority first and try to save his entire clan, rather than just Henry. Having said that, though, I'm going to vote the other way. I want him to stay and fight.
Why? Because if he goes into that crypt thinking of himself as a coward and a failure, then the deal is as good as signed. The malevolent spirit already has far too powerful a hold on him as it is. It's not going to let go if it can sink its claws into his low self-esteem.
If he and Henry beat Donovan together, then Hal might carry the knowledge that he can win this fight in with him. So, stay, find some sort of weapon, even if it's just your boot, and get into the fight.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 5:50 am Post subject: |
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My thinking was also that with two of them, they should be able to beat him, and therefore protect his friends as well.
| Quote: | | “Oh! That requires quiet an explanation |
quite an explanation
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I caught that mistake and thought I fixed it, I guess not.
(I do know how to spell, I promise, but I'm a terrible typist)
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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Build up your confidence, Hal. From the history Gloria has told him, it would seem that his ancestors weakmindness did them in. If he can fight off his uncle, his inner strength would be a good defense against the temptation Kelmur.
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| Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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That's a good point. Anyother suggestions before I put the poll up?
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Well there is always that fallback option of allowing Henry to sacrifice himself. Though I think the guilt in Hal, should that happen would be too great, and distract him on his overall mission.
I would suggest reasoning with him, but Donovon seems too absorbed in himself to think straight.
Hal could lie to Donovan and say he wasn't trying to break the curse....Sort of lead him astray. But that will only delay the inevitable.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Go Hal, destroyer of dark gods 
I agree with everyone so far. He can't convince Donovan that he's on his side, Donovan wouldn't let Henry go. So the only thing to do is kick Donovan's butt
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:11 am Post subject: |
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| I really, really like this story so far. You have great descriptive details, and your characters have more then one layer of personality, which by the way is always a great thing. (Look at Long John Silver for pete's sake! Now that's a character with some personality!) Your characters don't have just one thing about them that makes them, well them, and this can really turn out really good for twist and turns in your story. I think that Hal should stay with Henry, whatever comes of that decision I'm sure it will be interesting to say the least. For one thing, Hal loves his mother and the last thing he will want to do is risk her getting hurt. For another, if this curse runs so stongly in him as you say it does, he will need all the training he can get to control it. I don't think Hal is the kinda of boy who just accept this crazy curse and use for evil, I mean look at how he reacted to it in the first place. So, I defintly think he needs to stay with Henry. Keep it coming!
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 5:13 am Post subject: |
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| *Oops please excuse my comment, I didn't realize it is out of date. Note to self always make sure your on the last page of a story before posting. But I still think this a great story.*
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:38 am Post subject: |
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We forgive you Dinnerhen, but please don't double post. You can always Edit your last post in this kind of situation.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:52 am Post subject: |
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I've decided that this will be the last DP. So consider carefully, and get ready for the final twist.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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Finale already? Well lets end with a bang, shall we? Stay and fight!
I was just thinking that Hal will probably still try and reason with his uncle, even when they fight. I don't think Donovan is going to shut up about family betrayal and stuff. Just something to think about.
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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I know this is kinda out of context, but everyone keeps talking about editing your post. This is one thing I can't seem to figure out how to do so if someone could help me I would appreciate it.
As for the story, after reading all the post thoughly, I would have with the others somewhat. I agree with Ravenwing, that Hal should probably stay and fight. He will need every ounce of confidence to get through the trials to come. On the other hand, the curse may get the better of him while he is trying to help...thus weakening his hold on himself. Whatever he does, we know he cannot flee...fleeing would just delay the inevitable.
Are you ending so soon...and just when I was starting to like it to? Don't rush things, good stories come to those who wait. I think that you have a great story here and I would definetly like to see more. But the decision is up to you, it has been a great story whatever you decide. Oh, and Good Luck!
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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If you look at one of your own posts, it should have a couple of buttons in the top right-hand corner. One is 'Quote', the other is 'Edit'.
Press 'Edit' and a posting window comes up with your original text in it. Simply go in, make the changes you need to and his 'Submit' underneath it, like you would in a normal post
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, I'll get started on the last chapter right away. I know this makes a pretty short story, but it is my first attempt and I'd like to stop while I'm ahead. Hopefully the last surprise and ensuing climax will make up for everything.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:06 am Post subject: |
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Looking forward to the finale, jess.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 6: The Foundation of Fear
I have never been in my best times very brave. As I watched the hopeless struggle I knew that I did not have the strength to be of any use. Henry was twice my size, and he was fighting tooth and nail to hold Donovan down. Every instinct I had told me I could not win this fight, the very thought was laughable. But I also knew that if I ran away I would see Henry’s face staring at me every time I closed my eyes. The past few days had taught me well that some fates are worse than death. I gritted my teeth and ran towards Donovan’s sword. I picked it up, trying not to think too much about what I was doing. I turned, and saw Donovan and Henry struggling for control of the knife Henry carried with him. The knife escaped both their grips and fell seemingly in slow motion to the ground. Donovan kicked Henry back and dove for it. His back was turned to me, so I took the fleeting chance to act. I ran up to where Donovan’s crouched form was just about to take hold of the knife’s hilt and let him feel the point of my sword in his back. From this position it would be easy to thrust with my whole weight and run him through.
“Don’t move Donovan.”
I was surprised by the steadiness of my own voice, and that my hands did not shake. Henry staggered to his feet and looked up at me with a mixture of relief and dismay. A low chuckle gurgled from Donovan’s mouth. When he spoke, it was if some great joke I couldn’t get had just been told.
“So the runt has delusions of heroism? Don’t even try boy, it isn’t in you. If you had any idea of the long line you come from. A line of cowards, traitors, criminals and…”
A sinister gleam came into his eyes as he threw a triumphant gaze in Henry’s direction.
“…Murderers.”
Henry closed his eyes. His whole body went limp and a weary sigh escaped from his lips, like one who knows death is coming and it is pointless to struggle. Donovan’s laughter continued, he was clearly enjoying himself.
“But what really gets me is the situation, you’re actually trying to save that wretch’s life after all he’s done.”
“I owe him nothing less, he’s saved mine more than once. He’s watched over me like a…a father.”
I looked at Henry, trying to catch something, anything, in his expression to confirm or deny my suspicions, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze. Donovan nearly doubled over:
“Oh, this is priceless! You aren’t thinking that he is…? As much as I hate to cause pain to you I feel obligated to speak before you kill for this man. Henry Aldora was no more than fifteen when you where born. He is not your father, in fact, he killed him shortly after you mother discovered she was carrying you.”
Now my hands began to shake. My face flushed and my breath came out in short gasps. The whole world seemed to be crashing down about my ears. I threw a desperate look in Henry’s direction, hoping he would deny it, but the grief and guilt in his face was all the answer I needed. Donovan must have felt the pressure from the tip of the sword decrease, for his hand began to slowly move towards the blade on the ground.
“Poor child, you have suffered so much. You probably wish it were all over.”
“I said don’t move Donovan.”
“Do you honestly think you have the nerve to kill a man with your own hands? I don’t”
“I’m warning you.”
“You’re just a runt, you don’t have what it takes to survive here. When you think about it I’m doing you a favor.”
His words had a familiar ring to them. A shudder ran down my spine. His hand moved more assuredly, closing the distance between his fingers and the hilt. My knuckles turned white and I felt dizzy. I could feel my heart pounding so hard my whole self seemed to jolt with it.
“Donovan…”
The corners of his mouth twitched upward in a smirk, as if he knew what was going through my head. His fingers brushed the hilt and closed around it. He began to draw back his hand into a striking position. It was him or me. Summoning every ounce of courage I closed my eyes…and thrust forward.
* * *
Donovan didn’t utter a cry or make the slightest sound. He simply fell forward with that knowing smirk frozen on his face and eyes wide open, the knife still clutched in his lifeless hand. It made me sick to pull the sword back out of him. Something about the sight of the blood on it struck me with fear, and the realization of what I had just done came home to me. The sword slipped from my grasp, and I half fell backwards against a tree. I stood there for what seemed hours, trying to catch my breath and make the spots in front of my eyes disappear. The crunch of footsteps brought my head back up. I saw Henry, his face full of apprehension and amazement. He started to murmur something in the line of comfort, and placed his hand on my arm. I yanked my arm away and stepped back.
“Stay away from me!”
“Hal, please listen…”
“Is it true what he said, about you and my father?”
“Yes, it is. But it was not-”
Anger welled up inside of me. Visions of Henry killing my father in horrible ways sprang into my head. Henry tried to move towards me again, but I caught up the bloodstained sword and warned him to stay back. When I looked at his sorrowful face I saw only an enemy, a thing more than a person, who had robbed my mother and I of a normal, happy life. I thought of all the things I had lost by never knowing my father, of the pain in my mother’s voice when she spoke of him. I thought off all the times I had walked into the room to see her hastily wipe a tear from her face and turn away. With each rush of memories and dreams of what my life could have been, my anger increased until I could feel nothing else. I stood there, sword drawn and teeth clenched, consumed with a rage unlike I knew possible. I should have been more careful, knowing my state. The knowledge of who and what I was should have made me check myself and force those feelings down. I never should have allowed such a storm of hate to well up in me, at that moment, especially after what I had just done. As soon as I raised the sword in line with the tormented man in front of me, my whole body went numb and I was instantly immersed in darkness.
“So the heroics have been short-lived after all, they always are.”
I recognized the voice all to well. The state I was in during this time is difficult to describe. I felt nothing, and saw nothing, but I was dimly aware that my body was moving. It was much like being half-awake, when your dream has not yet faded and reality is mixed in your head with the stirrings of you sub-conscious. I didn’t have to ask the voice, who’s name I now knew, what it wanted or what it was doing. I knew that outside this blackness Henry was most likely fighting for his life. The voice had changed slightly though, all manner of the singsong quality had fallen from it and it addressed me gravely. Somehow this made it more frightening. It is one thing to be laughed at and toyed with by an adversary, it is quite another to be taken seriously by them. I was no longer an object of sport; I was a very serious threat. This was pushing Kelmur to use his full strength whereas before it had been a game.
“I am not guilty of what is done by you through me, Kelmur.”
“Ah! I told you that you would know my name shortly. And as for your actions, it is likely they would have surfaced without me. You may run from what you are, but you can’t escape it.”
“And what am I?”
A chuckle rippled through the darkness. The reply came back, almost in a whisper, but so close I thought I felt hot breath on my face when it came.
“Mine.”
It had been said so plainly, so matter-of-fact and sure of the truth of the statement that the very soul within me quaked. With one word, a terror that still comes back in my darkest nightmares gripped me and threatened to shake all my resolve into nothing. That one word was the most powerful obstacle in the whole struggle between me and the blackness within, and the only one I truly needed to overcome. For a moment, a single syllable held me in the palm of the bane of this world and the next…for a moment. Then something happened to me. As the echo of the horrible declaration still rang in my ears, a rage was welling up in me once again shattering my expectation of my capacity for it. There is a school of thought that says hate in any form is a poison of the soul to be avoided at all costs. They’re wrong. An intense, passionate hatred of all things evil is the noblest of all virtues. It was this that took hold of me now, and saved me from sinking into the oblivion of darkness that had swallowed all before me.
“No! I am nothing of yours, and never will be.”
“You don’t have much choice in the matter.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You may be able to rob me of my outward body, but you can do nothing to my inward will. That one thing I will never surrender. You may be able to force these legs to kneel, but the soul within me won’t bend.”
“You are so much like your father, thinking a mere mortal possesses a will to match mine. I have stood on the edge of the great void and not flinched, I have watched worlds crumble and been unmoved, I have looked gods in the face and not trembled!”
“No, you did not tremble, you were utterly defeated. That makes your actions those of a fool.”
“A true fool engages in a battle he cannot win.”
“Once again you’ve condemned yourself.”
A low rumble, not unlike a laugh, echoed through the darkness surrounding me. To my surprise I could feel Kelmur’s presence pulling away from me. The world began to come dimly into focus. I could make out shapes and something moving in front off me, but I could still not discern what was going on. There was a moment of absolute stillness, as if the vile demon was waiting for something. Then in an instant the blackness dispersed, leaving me blinking in the daylight, flat on my back with Henry’s knife a hairsbreadth form my throat. My eyes traveled up the line of the weapon and the arm that held it. I saw Henry staring back at me with a triumphant spark in his brown eyes. He tossed the knife aside, and offered his hand to help me up. I took it and hoisted myself to my feet, noticing several minor injuries to my person as I did so. Henry wasn’t unharmed either. He was covered in gashes and bruises, and for a week afterward he walked with a limp. I gathered that Henry had tricked Kelmur into thinking he meant to kill me, to drive him away and restore me to my right mind. We both hobbled over to a fallen log and collapsed on it, nursing our wounds and catching our breath as best we could. Finally Henry spoke tentatively.
“Hal?”
“Uh huh.”
“About what Donovan said, I think I should explain…”
“You don’t have to. It was like this, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, only, it wasn’t me he came after. In his fit he attacked Bella. She was so terrified; I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. Even so, I wonder if what I did was right, he was a good man when in his right mind, the best I’ve ever known.”
We sat in silence, each with our own thoughts and regrets. A sudden hopeful thought crossed my mind, and I turned towards Henry quickly.
“Henry, did Donovan have children?”
“No, why?”
“Than the line of Hal the first ends with me. Either way Kelmur will be without an anchor after I’m gone.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Because I’m an only child, there will be no more direct descendants left.”
“You’re not an only child Hal, you have a brother.”
“Wa…what?! Why didn’t mother tell me?”
“I don’t know, I suppose she thought it would do no good to speak about it. You see, her firstborn ran away years ago, and she probably thought he was dead.”
“But he isn’t?”
“No.”
“Well, where is he?”
A curious spark came into Henry’s eyes and a smile played about his lips. I stared at him dumbfounded.
“You…You?!”
“I’m not quite as old as I look.”
The pieces began to fall into place, making sense of the mystery Henry had always presented. I understood now his reaction on meeting me, my mother’s reaction to him. It was clear now why he had protected and watched over me, and most of all, why he had risked his life to save mine. It has been remarked by those much wiser than me that the greatest treasure a man can discover is the knowledge that he isn’t alone. As I looked at Henry, my brother, I felt that all I had endured was worth it. I opened my mouth to say something, but Henry cut me off.
“We really don’t have time to sit and reminisce, it won’t be long before Kelmur sees he’s been duped.”
With that Henry picked up Donovan’s sword and handed it to me, telling me I’d earned it, and led the way towards the fate awaiting me. The sun was beginning to peak over the hills when we reached the base of a large mountain of black rock. The forest stopped short about a hundred feet from it, and looking overhead I saw birds divert there course around it instead of fly over its peak. It seemed that life itself fled from this place of ruin and doom. I don’t remember what I said as I left Henry on the edge of the wood, only that it had something to do with taking care of mother or some such typical thing. I walked forward slowly, and entered a low arch carved with words and symbols similar to what I had seen on Henry’s knife earlier. After a few feet I turned and noticed an odd thing: The darkness of the passageway seemed to have substance to it, and blocked the light of the doorway like a heavy curtain falling behind me. It was impossible to discern distance in this place, I may have walked in circles most of the time for all I know, but eventually I saw a streak of redish light off in the distance. As I drew closer the air grew thinner, staler, and I felt very cold. Alarm bells were ringing in my head, telling me to turn back while I could. But more unnerving was that something else in me, as much a part of me as the instinct of self-preservation, was calling me forward.
I approached the glow, and saw that it was coming through a crack in a large stone door. The stone was even blacker than the outside of the mountain, making the light from within seem even more unnatural. The door was heavy, to heavy for a boy of my size to move, and had no handle or such device to open it. For a moment I pondered how I was to solve this problem. But no sooner had my hand brushed the cold surface than it swung open, bathing me in the glare of a raging fire. The sudden burst of heat was suffocating, and it took a deal of intestinal fortitude to force myself into the room. The moment my feet stepped from the threshold, the door swung shut behind me with such force that my ears rung with it and I stumbled to my knees. My eyes adjusted to the light, and I saw that I was standing before a large pit containing the violent blaze. The pit ran the length of the room, and even though it was only a few feet wide, the flames sprung up so high that one could not have jumped across without being turned to ashes.
On the other side of the pit, elevated on a low platform, was a stone sarcophagus. Covered in runes that filled the heart with fear even though it could not comprehend their meaning, it was rendered even more sinister by the light of the fire dancing across its surface, casting more shadows than illumination. I couldn’t bear to look at it for long, and drew my gaze back to my side of the cavern. To my left I saw a large mirror, gray with age and coated with cobwebs, set in a frame of stone black as the door I had entered by. To my right I saw a circular pillar near the edge of the pit, likewise black, that stood about four feet high. I stood to my feet and feet my blood ran cold as I saw a yellowed heavy scroll resting on its surface. My feet moved towards it, seemingly without my wishing them to, and the scroll held my gaze as if it had some hypnotic power. The seal on it was shaped like a flickering star, it was cracked in several places showing it had been opened and resealed many times. I felt the blood within me start to boil; an intense desire to touch the thing in front of me took possession of my mind. I slowly stretched out my hand and took hold of the scroll, surprised at its weight, and gazed at it till the whole room seemed to melt away around me.
“Mesmerizing, isn’t it?”
I came to myself with a start, nearly dropping the scroll, and turned in the direction of the sarcophagus where the familiar voice emanated from. My heart leaped into my throat. It was no disembodied whisper that greeted me. Standing across the pit on top of the sarcophagus was evil incarnate himself. It is difficult to describe his form, partially because it was in the flickering light of the fire, and partially because it kept shifting. Sometimes I imagined the contortions resembled faces I recognized but couldn’t put a name to, sometimes it looked more animalistic than human, but the one thing that didn’t change were the pair of large eyes, glowing with a light the same color as the blaze before them and flickering in unison with it. I became more aware of the sword I held at my side, and gripped it tighter. The devil across the fire laughed in his usual way.
“Swords will do no good here, or any weapon made with hands. You are naked of any of the defenses you might have used, more the pity, I was hoping for a slight challenge at least.”
Somehow I saw the mirror without turning. For a moment my own pale and thin frame looked back at me from the glass, than melted away into an image that was me and yet not me at the same time. I was taller, stronger, with a twisted grin of extreme malice written across my face. The eyes had ceased to be dark brown and had deepened into a soulless black that gazed at me with as much contempt as I observed it in horror. My hands started to shake and the scroll seemed to grow in weight. What shook me though, was not the terrifying aspect of the creature or the void spilling from its eyes. It was the fact that for all my noble intentions I knew that I had it in me to become this being. I could feel the seeds of it in the back of my mind, and it was all I could do to tear my gaze away and hold my feet to the ground.
“You…you can do nothing to me, if you force me to open the scroll it means nothing.”
“You’ll open it. I’ve bent the will of stronger men than you before now.”
A dense fog seemed to fall over my mind; the room around me appeared unreal, fake. It was difficult to think clearly and my knees began to weaken. It was the sensation of them starting to sink that snapped me back to reality. With a great effort I took my sword and stabbed it into the ground, pushing down with all my might and forcing myself to remain upright. A sound like a growl slipped from Kelmur’s mouth, he stretched his ghostly hand towards me and moved his fingers downward. I felt the weight of a planet descend on my shoulders and gasped as if the very breath in my lungs was being squeezed out. He spoke again in a soothing, hypnotic voice.
“It’s hopeless child, you have not the strength to contend with me.”
The sword broke in half and I fell trembling to the ground, my knees not an inch from the edge of the inferno. Kelmur spoke with triumph ringing in his voice:
“Did you really think for a moment that you could beat me?”
I slowly looked up at my tormentor and struggled to speak.
“I know I can beat you.”
“What gives you cause for such arrogance?”
“Because I’ve beaten myself.”
I looked the demon straight in the eyes, and a smile darted across my face. With immense satisfaction, I saw the look of shock and horror in his face as I extended my hand that held the scroll over the pit, and released it into the flames. The whole world seemed to stand still for the split second the scroll was visible. It disappeared from sight, and the blaze roared with renewed fury, blasting me and the bane of this world likewise backwards from our places, increasing the gulf between us. A scream, more hideous and frightful than the one in the cave before, poured from the form now contorting at the foot of his coffin. Burns appeared all over him and spread across his body as quickly as fire burning paper. It grew in volume and pitch, making me think my head would burst. I struggled to my feet and smashed the mirror with the hilt of the broken sword. The apparition lingered for a millisecond after the glass shattered, its face twisting as if in pain before it vanished.
I turned and faced the writhing figure of the fallen god and stood motionless. He glared at me with an expression of unspeakable hatred and forced himself to his disintegrating legs. Still screaming, he charged at me, meaning to lash out at his hangman with his last breath. Never will I forget the image of the foundation of all fear rushing towards me with the light in his eyes fading. Right as he reached the edge of the pit, his whole body disintegrated into a vapor, leaving a foul smell of burnt flesh behind it. A thought struck me, and I looked at the pillar where the scroll had been. It was not built into the ground. I walked over to it and threw my whole weight against its side. I teetered for a moment and came back to rest. I tried again and pushed it right when it leaned forward. It fell across the pit, just barely reaching the other side, forming a shaky bridge to the other side of the crypt.
Hardly believing what I was doing myself, I stepped onto the fallen pillar. The crossing was perhaps the worst part of my battle. I kept telling myself that I had done what I needed to already, why was I doing this? But I knew that another Hal the first might find his way to this place again, and I had to make sure history could not repeat itself. After what seemed an eternity I reached the other side, and stood before the final resting place of my adversary. Fighting back the feeling of panic and dread, I gritted my teeth and approached the sarcophagus. Using the hilt of my broken sword I pried the lid open, surprised at how light it was. I pushed it back so that the light of the fire illuminated a sliver of a face. It was bluish in tint, but perfectly preserved, with its eyes wide open so that it seemed to stare right at me. I shuddered, thinking I saw a gleam in the lifeless eyes, and walked back to the pit’s edge. As I knelt, removing my cloak and wrapping it around my weapon, I thought about what Gloria had said of Kelmur’s spirit clinging to the body of his first servant. I tied the corners of my cloak together tightly around the sword and dipped it into the flames, creating a makeshift torch. Brandishing this new instrument I walked back to the sarcophagus and forced it through the opening. I turned and took no more than two steps before the whole room began to shake with a tremendous earthquake.
I was thrown off my feet, nearly toppling into the fiery pit. A searing pain beyond imagination tore through my whole body, making it impossible even to scream. I had forgotten that a part of me was linked to Kelmur’s presence in this world, and in that moment I honestly thought I had signed my death warrant. The wounds I had sustained over the course of the day reopened, the blood pouring from them till I began to feel dizzy. It was unnatural blood, very thick and so dark it was almost black, and steam rose from the ground where it fell. At first I tried to lift my self up, but the pain and loss of blood made me weak. Eventually I collapsed completely and lay staring at the ceiling of that terrible place. As the world went hazy the sound of a thousand voices crying out in agony filled my head, and visions of strange persons flitted across my eyes. It may have been my imagination, but once I thought I saw Henry, likewise incapacitated at the edge of a forest. I could see nothing clearly through the fog of my agony, and a gray mist floated before me. The wailings continued, but I caught a strange note in their midst. A single sigh of relief, quiet and faint yet still discernable. Then the gray mist turned dark, and I knew no more.
“Hal? Can you hear me? Bella, Henry, come here, I think he’s waking up.”
My head was throbbing and my throat felt very dry. The first thing I saw clearly was Gloria’s blonde head leaning over mine, a soft smile on her face. I sat up and found myself in the same room I had recovered in before. Henry and my mother crowded around the cot next to Gloria, both inquiring in different ways if I was alright so fast that I couldn’t make out a single sentence of what they said. I laughed, which silenced them and seemed to do more to convince them of my well-being than any speech could have. My mother flung her arms around me and cried, and Henry looked at me with irrepressible pride.
“You really are something else kid. I honestly didn’t think you would come out of there, let alone go beyond what was asked of you, you’ve proven more than worthy of your name.”
As I looked in Henry’s face I couldn’t help but think something had changed. At first I thought he looked younger, than I thought no, he looked taller. Then I realized that it was his expression that had changed. That harassed air and lack of peace had disappeared, leaving behind a face that seemed it had never known an hour of grief. A timid knock was heard, and the door opened a crack. A gentle voice trickled through it.
“Is he awake? May I see him?”
Gloria nodded and motioned for the speaker to enter.
“Yes, come in Martha.”
The door opened wider and a young girl about my age slipped in. She was thin and frail looking, with dark hair and eyes like mine. I noticed that her eyes were very large, like one accustomed to fright and struggle. She approached slowly with an air of one who intrudes on their betters, half apologizing with her expression. She stopped within a foot of where I sat.
“Are you Hal?”
“Yes.”
Tears welled up the slip of a girl’s eyes, and she looked at me in unparalleled gratitude. I noticed that a knife like Henry’s was sheathed at her side, and that her arms where covered in scars. She closed her eyes for a moment and spoke again almost in a whisper.
“Thank you.”
It was at that moment that I decided not only had all my trials and pain been worth it, but would in a heartbeat have gladly done it all over again.
The end
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Argonaut
Mercenary Artist
Joined: 11 May 2006
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Location: California
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| Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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Fantastic ending Geek Girl
That Henry killed Hal's father I suspected, but that he was Hal's brother was a surprise. I love a good happy ending I do, always wanted to save the world myself some day
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Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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| Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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Congrats GG! A very nice final chapter!
Smee would remind you to claim your 100Fatbacks for completing a story as well! 
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Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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LOL, me too! I've always had an urge to go around smashing mirrors too, so this is like, so my own fantasy. (Except for being a boy, that would be wierd...)
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Shady Stoat
Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:05 am Post subject: |
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Great ending Geek-girl. I thoroughly enjoyed this story, all the way through, and congratulations on finishing it so strongly 
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Smee
Revered IFian
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| Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:16 am Post subject: |
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A great story Geek-girl.
I had actually caught up to the end of Chapter 5, but not managed to comment. This last chapter was as good as the rest. You managed to make the whole Storygame seem epic in only 6 chapters, awesome work
Happy Writing
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Starwalker
Guest
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| Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 7:07 am Post subject: |
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| Looking forward to your next story GG
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:22 am Post subject: |
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Thanks to all of you guys for reading along and giving me a lot of good advice. I feel like I've learned a lot by doing this and hopefully I can look forward to your collective expertise for my next story.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Geek_girl72
Respected Citizen
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| Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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One last question: What do I do with this now that its done?
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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The Powers That Be
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Joined: 19 May 2005
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| Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Geek_girl72 wrote: | | One last question: What do I do with this now that its done? |
Smee or Key will move it into the Archives, in the Hall of Legends, and you should get a big Fable payment for completing the storygame (if that sort of thing matters to you). You can give them a  in a PM if you're ready for it to be moved.
_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!
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