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One Last Bullet... Chapter 3!
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LordoftheNight
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Someone was to release him.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

there could be some sort of assault from a rival gang/corporation, or from government soldiers.

The next people to take over from these lot (whatever it is they're doing outside here), probably won't be interested in keeping a semi-starved and crazy stranger in their cells. They'll just kick him out and get on with whatever they were doing.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, the poll is up people! Lot's of luverly choices, some which will affect the course and writing of the story more than others, but they should all present interesting outcomes!

Get voting! :biggrin:
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Salutes* Sir, yes Sir.

Voted for improving his acting skills.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... how do the trays get taken back at the end of each meal? Or does he just have a growing collection under his bed?

I think we should force ourselves to vomit on the floor, and then haul ourselves up above the door, so that they come to check on the room - nothing there but sick. Then we can elbow-drop someone in the base of the neck (that must be in some kung-fu movie or something), pole-axing them, and then beat up the other guy. Steal keys/guns/armour/clothes and escape!

If we can't add it to the poll, then I'll just vote normally, but I must say, I don't approve of the last three options - they're out of the protaganists control.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surely what you suggested is pretty similar to option two?
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All good choices. I chose the last option, only because I thought it would be the hardest to write. Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Araex wrote:
Hmm... how do the trays get taken back at the end of each meal? Or does he just have a growing collection under his bed?

I think we should force ourselves to vomit on the floor, and then haul ourselves up above the door, so that they come to check on the room - nothing there but sick. Then we can elbow-drop someone in the base of the neck (that must be in some kung-fu movie or something), pole-axing them, and then beat up the other guy. Steal keys/guns/armour/clothes and escape!

If we can't add it to the poll, then I'll just vote normally, but I must say, I don't approve of the last three options - they're out of the protaganists control.


Ok, just to adress the first point, they give him the tray, but when they come to collect the empty bowl and plastic cup, they take the tray as well. He has to push them through the trap door at the base of the door. But he could easily not, and then they would get angry, come in with nightsticks and beat 7 shades of excrement out of him.

And for the second, damn it! I forgot the 'makes himself I'll option'! Sorry people. If anyone wants to vote for that, or change thier vote, then post it here and I'll include thier vote for that.

And for your comment on the last options, that is kind of the point of this SG. Where the first poll's options within the protagonists control? I don't think so. The readers are supposed to dictate what his story is, and those options will go along way to determining his course of action when he is freed. For example, for the 'freed without explanation' option, we can then progress from that to see how he reacts; does it confuse the heck out of him, or does it anger him? Frankly, I want more of those options, as they are how I want the story to be developed.

But thanks for the points! :biggrin:
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that's all the readers who have voted. I'll leave it open for another day or two, as Rubber-Duckie is in the same position, and then I'll end the poll. Very Happy
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot

Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, heres the new chapter people! Very Happy

Enjoy! :biggrin:

------------------------

One Last Bullet
Chapter Three


So I decided to break my hand again.

I waited until I had the metal food tray from my lunchtime meal hidden under my pillow, and then put on a Bruce Lee and began my routine.

Left, right, left right. Foot back, arm out; right-hand swing. Uppercut.

And then I swung my left fist into the hard wall, cracking not only my fingers but the mortar underneath. I winced a little, but I let a smile spread across my age-worn face. They would have heard that and would soon come running.

I sat down on the bunk, holding my left arm and flexing the fingers that weren’t broken.

The twisted middle and rung finger throbbed slightly, but I ignored it. Let me know I was alive; something I hadn’t felt for a long time. Too long. Time to change that.

I gripped the metal dish as I heard the grate sliding back, and a face appeared in the slit.

“What the fuck was that crash?” Smiling, I turned to face the door and said

“I think I broke my hand. Look.” I brought the broken appendage up and jiggled it about a bit, wincing again as the broken joints ground against each other.

“Aw shit… ok. Hold on, I’m gonna go get the nurse” The grid slid back into place and I heard footsteps pounding away down the corridor outside. I sat patiently on the bed, waiting to hear the footfalls approaching. To tell you the truth, I didn’t hold much stock in my chances of escape; I mean, I’d been there for 6 years and I hadn’t managed it. But I hadn’t been trying very hard before. This time I knew was my last chance; spend much longer cooped away like that and I would go batshit. The uniform walls, the monotonous daily routine. Chuck Norris’ stupid damn face. I couldn’t take it any more.

I heard the guard returning, with another set of, lighter, footsteps, presumably the nurse. I didn’t know what time of day it was, but I knew that there was only one guard on duty, so I assumed that it was the night shift. The grate slid back, the guard looked in and then the door opened.

“Don’t try anything funny.” He gripped his nightstick in his right hand and stood at the door, clearly nervous. A young brunette girl walked in wearing some blue overalls and carrying a small red box with a big + stamped across the front.

She sat down on the floor near the cot and smiled at me. Nothing stirred. No one had smiled at me for 6 years. I hadn’t even seen a woman, let alone a cute young nurse, but it did nothing. Makes me feel sick inside just thinking about it now; how they desensitised me so deeply. I guess I was losing it, but I think it’s fair to say that anyone would have. But, damn, do I hate them for that more than anything. Sick bastards.

She opened her box and took out a bandage, which she placed on the bed next to me. Then she took my left hand in hers and began pulling at all the fingers, real gentle like, one by one. She noted my grimaces when she tugged the middle two then took up the bandage and slowly began to wrap it around the two aching digits. Her touch was so soft and gentle, I remember that clear as day. But at the time I just sat there thinking about the open door and the slight breeze that was wafting through my cell, filtering away all the stale crap I had breathed in and out God-knows how many times. I could taste it; freedom. So I brought my fist up into her face.

Her neck snapped back and I grabbed it. I stood up and flung her into the guard. They sprawled to the floor, the guard’s nightstick sliding out the door as he slammed into the doorframe. I pulled the metal tray out from under the pillow and moved rapidly across the room.

The girl was unconscious, but he looked up into my face, and I saw fear in his eyes. Good. I aimed and slammed the thin edge of the tray into the bone separating the eye sockets. I heard a wrenching snap from his neck as it slammed into the doorway and broke, and felt the bloody mess spray across my hands and up the grey sleeves of my loose cotton shirt. The guard slumped backwards and lay still, his face obscured by the crimson tide pouring from the torn fissure just below the forehead.

I tossed the bent tray to one side and stepped out into the hallway. I breathed deeply, taking the fresh air into my lungs, and pushed it slowly back out again, closing my eyes and smiling as I did. Realising that I could now get free, I opened them again, retrieved the guard’s retractable metal baton and hurried toward the door at the end of the hallway.

Running that length of pale green linoleum, scuffed almost white by countless shoes, felt like an eternity. I was moving forward, faster than I had ever moved before, but I just didn’t seem to be getting any closer. The door just sat there, mocking me, its dull metal staying just out of reach. I fall to my knees. The baton rolls away. Tears fill my eyes and a sob chokes my throat. Running. Walking more than 5 metres. I pounded a fist against the cold floor, just to make sure I could still feel it.

“How moving. How does freedom feel? I bet it ‘aint half as satisfying as you’d hoped.” I looked up, wiping the salt-filled tears from my eyes and cheeks on the bloodstained sleeve. He was standing there, a gnarled hand gripping the twisted chin, always sitting beneath his awful smiling face. There were two men behind him.

“Pathetic, as always; you didn’t even make it to the door. Boys, show our friend back to his cell.” He turned and walked away, the tall men standing to the side as he pushed pass. The door opened for him and he disappeared from view. The door wasn’t beyond reach; he had, and that just gave me all the more reason to go through it after him.

“Should have stayed away you son of a bitch” The two men ignored my remark and began to walk toward me. But I wasn’t going back in the cell; not now, not ever. Too much stucco can kill a man.

The first one stood above me and raised his right arm. I was still on my knees so I brought my elbow up into his groin, slamming hard two times in quick succession. From the look on his face, you’d have thought an atom bomb had gone off between his legs. Hiroshima and Nagasaki per nut, thank you very much. The fist fell, not on my skull, but limply to his side and he crumpled to the floor.

By now the second heavy had moved forward and I felt a sharp blow glance off my right shoulder blade. I leapt up and grabbed the arm as it slid away, and brought my elbow down onto his perfectly straight forearm. There was a sickening snap and the man screamed. I socked him in the side of the head and he fell to the floor. I brought my leg up and sent him reeling from a well placed blow across the temple, a ribbon of blood washing down the bruised cheek that began to pool around the head like a gore-streaked halo.

I ran to the door and this time reached it in no time. It wasn’t locked and swung outwards easily from my sharp push. My right arm and back had begun to throb uncomfortably, from the blow the heavy had managed to land, but I ignored it and continued out.

I was standing in parking lot, the fathomless black sky twinkling far above my head. I stood for a few moments, gazing lamely upwards, but it was reassuring. The air was even fresher outside, and I took in lungful after lungful of cold, crisp night air. I heard a cricket chirp and the distant roar of a car’s engine. Every sound was amplified a thousand times or more, and my head hurt from just trying to take it all in. There was no alarm, or armed guard running toward me. Just the breeze rippling through my long unkempt hair, left uncut for 6 years. And millions of crickets, their incessant chattering beginning to grind on my nerves.

But I had to get away, find out where I was. I ran over to the nearest car; a two-tone Cadillac that whispered sultry nothings in my ear, calling me over. I hadn’t seen a car that beautiful for so long. Funny how I felt no emotion over my first contact with the fairer sex, but I did with first contact with the fairer automobile. I guess we guys think in odd ways, especially after being kept away from everything we knew and held dear. Messes with your head.

I grabbed at the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. I guess I shoulda expected that, but I wasn’t thinking straight. But I didn’t want to break the window of such a perfect car, so I turned to run back to the building. Then I realised how stupid I was acting. I didn’t even know if any of the guys inside had the key! I should just smash the window, hotwire the car and get the hell away.

But then, it was such a nice car. And I hadn’t hotwired anything since I was a God-damned teenager. I spat onto the grey tarmac and cursed at myself for being so indecisive.

--------------------------

Ok, this is going to sound funny, but I want people to discuss what kind of character change he's going to go through when he either smashes the window or goes and tries to find the key to the door. In his overwhelmed mental state, the choice will affect his actions for the rest of the story. I want people to decide which way he's going to get inside the car, and then what this will mean for him. Hope that isn't too silly! :biggrin:
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5


Last edited by Solomon Birch on Fri May 05, 2006 12:38 am; edited 3 times in total
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The indecision was making me crazy. Rage was building inside my head, screaming with the roar of the rioting mob. I tried to think, but there was only the howling fury, against which I was helpless.

I think I screamed as my fist went through the window glass of the car. My throat was raw afterwards, but I don't remember.

All I remember was the release. Action released the rage as if it were sand through a funnel. The pain in my hand was easier to deal with than the pain in my soul.

I vowed then - no more indecision. No more retreating. It was onward all the way - to wherever that led.

=====

Good decision point, Soily Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OR

He could take a deep breath, count to 10 (fairly quickly) and see if he could find the other guy. Or at least someone to mug.
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just break the damned window.
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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Chuck Norris’ stupid damn face.


Laughing Great!

But I definitely F5 Lordy on that one. He should become violent, bitter, vengeful, and easily provoked.

At some point, it should become obvious that the reason he's killing these people is less for revenge and more just because he enjoys wasting them.
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

chinaren wrote:
OR

He could take a deep breath, count to 10 (fairly quickly) and see if he could find the other guy. Or at least someone to mug.


What do you mean by the other guy? Confused
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
“Pathetic, as always; you didn’t even make it to the door. Boys, show our friend back to his cell.” He turned and walked away, the tall men standing to the side as he pushed pass. The door opened for him and he disappeared from view. The door wasn’t beyond reach; he had, and that just gave me all the more reason to go through it after him.


Him.
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, right, I get cha! :biggrin:
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smash window now!
Moving forward he should be driven by the necessity to do things immediately; not in a day, not in 5 minutes, NOW!
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We've spent the last six years doing nothing - now is not the time to dally, turning around. Let's smash stuff!
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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 11:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The poll is up for four days, so get voting you lot! Very Happy

As an example of how the voting will effect his character, if the non-smashy options wins, what he did to that nurse will dawn on him and it will embed itself within his mind. He will hate himself for what he did, it will bring back memories of his wife, and thus his child. It will make him cautious and with morals, but angry.

The other option will.... fuck him up. Shocked
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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's feck him up royally!
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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I think we're all looking for the mentally fucked up character - or at least another one.
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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Way to sway a vote Soily.
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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2006 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sway a vote? Me? Never! Wink

If people still want to post ideas about what the specifics behind his decision will be, then feel free, as there weren't that many before the poll.
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I'm back folks. Chapter 4 is underway as we speak; option 1 (go fecking nuts) won. Our protag is now right royally f*cked up, and you lot have yourselves to congratulate for that. Wink

I hope I can get interest going for this story again. Expect some more CRAZY DP's in the future. When I think of them, that is. This is a creative process that takes time, patience and OH ALL RIGHT I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED!!

There! Happy now? Shocked
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find this funny........

Kidding, I agree with Demented above me. Plus, looks cooler with the mask! Cool
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