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Fabled Island, Episode 15, "Cruel Fate"

 
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:09 pm    Post subject: Fabled Island, Episode 15, "Cruel Fate" Reply with quote

Rated N for Needless Violence



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:31 pm    Post subject: Fabled Island, Ep. 15a, Cruel Fate Reply with quote

Fabled Island, Ep. 15a, "Cruel Fate"

The treasure hunters hot breathes mingle with each other and the jungle air. The fires roar and crackle, reflecting in the treasure hunters’ eyes. They back away from the men who trap and are trapped within nightmares. Indifferently, they turn away Jeremy as he prepares to bravely face red hot steel in the hands a man driven to extremes by his outrageous desires. Ignorantly, Jeremy’s only thoughts sharpen to one singular purpose, loyalty. His screams are the kind that go beyond the normal senses. His screams throw rocks in the spiritual ocean, but the ripples do not intrude upon the supposed serenity. They join the growing storm.

No matter how far he runs, Jim can not get away from the screams. They do not diminish with distance, and the more he tries to shut them out, the louder they become. He acts as if nothing is happening, and the others can not tell that he is deafened or even disturbed. Why should he be disturbed? He’s done nothing to be guilty for. He keeps up with the rest of the treasure hunters and doesn’t look back.

Thomas does look back however. In the cover of darkness he could have killed them all, one by one. Together they could have taken them much faster. That’s the problem with being part of a crew, if you want anything done right, you still have to do it yourself, and carry everyone along with you. He shakes his head as he pushes a branch aside. What is he doing here?

Jenn branches off from the others and chooses his own course. She snakes through the jungle swiftly and quietly, and she knows it. She’ll be there first without making any more noise than a mouse’s heartbeat, at least that’s what she thinks. The branches and leaves are like so many tripwires and avoiding them all is impossible, but she certainly won’t be the first to be found.

Trailing behind, and watching the others’ backs, Aspi stalks carefully and with alertness. This way, the ones she has to fear most are in front of her. Of all the dangers she’s faced, there’s never been one to compare with backstabbing and not just in the jungle. On the road, in camp, in your own home, or perhaps on a boat…. Ethan may be dead, but what he did remains alive in her memory. Just another indication of a fact of life: whenever you’re with another human being, you’re never safe. She stops when she hears something breathing. Long, deep breaths, the breathing of something has nothing to fear and no reason to hurry. She circles widely around it, never turning her back to it till she feels a safe distance away.

Ross keeps his head low like a prowling panther. His mouth is drawn into a menacing frown, challenging anything to face him, in spite of his injuries or even because of them. He won’t acknowledge his pain as anything more than an opportunity to grow stronger and stronger. Nothing else is respected. Strength is far greater than any other quality in his reckoning. He is undefeatable because of his discipline and training. He is invincible. The Carlisle Sword cuts easily through the foliage, a very pleasing trophy of an adversary bested, if only by outliving him.

And lying in his own blood, Ethan stares lifelessly at the sky. No one closed his eyes, nor shrouded him, nor even whispered a small prayer in their minds. Forsaken. He deserved it, but it would have done the others good to give him some form of death rite or another, particularly cremation. Then a man darkens Ethan’s vision of the sky. A man like him, neither alive or dead. An ancient man who can show Ethan things no living person can see. But he will not be the last to see it tonight.


The crew returns to the boat unharmed and feeling lucky for it. The intensity of the jungle began to press down on their spirits and make them feel hunted. As the last rope is finally untied. Jim seems distracted, but he doesn’t respond when called. They turn the unnamed boat toward the ocean. After a short distance onto the water, the peaceful feeling makes them wish to sail beyond the horizon. Jim’s eyes water from a powerful longing and a pain the others do not perceive. Behind him, the dark menacing island with an angry volcano above. The comparison makes them all wonder if they shouldn’t just keep drifting on the gently rolling waves.

A piercing cry shatters the moment. A scream very familiar to the island, and the jungle stirs at its return. A high screech so loud it could make your ears bleed. The scream of a roc, but not just any roc. Ethan’s body convulses. His heart beats again and the blood pours from his many wounds. The sores and pustules grow worse and bleed till there couldn’t possibly be any more blood in Ethan’s body, and yet more and more blood. He screams in horror as much as pain, but his voice is gone, replaced by the cry of the rocs. A cry he heard many times when he hunted redgar rocs. The cry of his prey. His skin is shed and feathers and talons emerge. He has become his prey.

The treasure hunters prepare themselves for an attack from above when the boat jolts. Jim doesn’t hear the loud crack, but when the handle is torn from his hand, he cries out and fires into the water. The rudder floats away, and the boat jolts again as it starts to move backward. No one speaks. They try to row away from the island, but large tentacles pull the oars away. The shots that follow streak through the water harmlessly till they sink to the bottom. The giant octopus pulls the boat toward a large pointed rock. When the boat hits into it, it scrapes and cracks. The crew lurches forward. Water starts leaking in. The octopus curls its tentacles around the edge of the ship. The crew slashes the tentacles, forcing them back into the water. Ross pulls the sword out from the large slice he put in the side. He dives into the water but can not see anything. A tentacle grabs his leg, but is cut cleanly off. Ross swims back to the surface, but the tentacles whip him back down. Choking on water, he fights for freedom, but the tentacles bind his entire body. All of his strength can not give him the slightest leverage. He can not swing the sword.

Above him, he can see the blurry lantern as a treasure hunter looks down at him. If they would help him just this once… all he would need is one solid thrust and the octopus would be dead for good. If only they could distract it for just a moment…. The tentacles squeeze tightly, Ross tries to twist the sword above the water as a signal. The tip of the sword slits the surface and Jim sees it, but the black form is larger than the boat. He turns away. He helps the others grab supplies before abandoning the boat.

A burst of wind blasts the boat and the water explodes. For a fleeting moment they see a large roc dive and claw the sword from Ross’s hand. His torn fingers clench and continue to fight, but the octopus draws him in. Its large mouth cracks open his head. Strands of blood dilute into the water. The crew tosses the last box from the boat onto the rocks.

The discarded body floats away, then the octopus reaches out of the water for another victim. With her knives Jenn slashes the tentacles away from her. The others scramble into the trees with supplies as she makes a slow retreat, not daring to let down her guard. From a distance they watch her when she decides to run for the trees. The tentacles are too far behind to reach her, but it is too late to warn her when the roc sweeps down and catches her up in its talons.

All concern about the imperiled supplies are forgotten as Jim and Aspi run deeper into the trees for cover. But Thomas refuses to leave without his rifle first. Quickly calculating the risk, he abandons his safety and runs for the rocks where his rifle fell. His long knife is prepared for an attack, but is unneeded. He feels the satisfying weight of his weapon and returns to the trees. Already, however, the rest of the crew is out of sight and earshot.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:33 pm    Post subject: FI, Ep. 15b Reply with quote

Fabled Island, Ep. 15b, "Cruel Fate"


The talons dig into Jenn’s arms making every motion painful. She’s already too high to drop down safely, even into water. She stops fighting and plays dead hoping to make an escape when the roc lands to feed. Then a realization occurs that perhaps it doesn’t intend to feed. The hungry, gurgling volcano calls for flesh. They’re heading straight for it.

*

And when Aspi ran into the trees, she collided with a man. His flesh was cold and hard like ice, his painted face indifferent, immovable, incapable of emotion. His headdress was made with bone and tied with human hair. He wore a necklace of shriveled ears and carried a staff with a bleeding skull. He did not look at her, his attention fixed on the octopus and then watching the roc dive on Jenn. Now he looks at Thomas. Only his eyes reveal the hatred inside. Aspi can feel the power in this man, if he is a man anymore. Her spear feels like a useless ornament compared to him. And inside, she knows what he is there for.

*

Thomas feels like he returned to the wrong shore. The others vanished so quickly, but a few supplies are still there. He takes an extra musket and searches quietly in the trees. It could be that the mundies or freebooters already killed the last of the treasure hunters. Finally, he can take care of himself. He cleans out the moisture in the rifle and the musket and reloads. He just has to survive the night. In the daylight he’ll be able to assess his situation, perhaps find another boat.

A light jogs through the trees, another bull’s eye lantern. By now Jeremy has told them everything. They’re probably coming for the boat. The fact they were so interested in the boat suggests they don’t have their own, but perhaps they have other things on them of interest. Moving in a little closer, he can hear them talking. Thomas throws a rock, and when it lands behind them, the lantern turns to look, and reveals their numbers. There’s only two of them. While the lights still turned, he fires on the second man and switches guns. The lantern bearer doesn’t think to hide before the second shot knocks him to the ground beside his light.

Thomas reloads in the dark, before approaching the bodies, but before he reaches them, a silhouette blocks his way. It isn’t Jim or Aspi, so he fires again, just as he closes the lantern’s door.

He listens. He knows he hit his target, he doesn’t miss, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the person is dead. He draws his long knife and waits….

Several minutes pass before Thomas moves again. The person must be bleeding… they’ve probably expired by now. He creeps up till he can smell the freebooter’s sweat. Abruptly, the little lantern door falls open again, painting him with light. Only two bodies are on the ground before him. He rushes and closes the lantern just as a shot blasts from behind. He dives away and props himself behind a tree. He’s been hit.

*

Jim can not hear Aspi when she calls his name. He can hear nothing but Jeremy’s screams. They’re like nails in his brain, he has to stop them! Jim reasons that he must be going crazy from the strain he’s put himself through. They can’t be real. He just has to find Jeremy. He has to stop the screams. Nothing else matters.

Without fear of the jungle, he runs where he presumes the freebooter’s camp lays. He can not use the screams to guide him for they only grow louder no matter where he turns. When he sees the firelight, he thanks God that he didn’t get lost.

He sees Jeremy, he’s still alive! The screams in Jim’s head do not match Jeremy’s anguish during his interrogation. They are quieted, and Jim falls to his knees in exhausted relief. Jeremy has burns on his face and arms and chest. He’s lost the strength to scream, yet he continues to shake his head at any questions. Jim aims his pistol for the leader… but his men are all around. He points the pistol at Jeremy… at least put him out of his misery…. But that’s no safer! If he just leaves, will the screams return? Jim’s pistol wavers between them and he looks back into the trees….

*

Aspi remained transfixed till the shaman walked away, still not looking at her for a second. She comes out of her trance with no idea what to do. Ross floats in the water, Ethan has transformed and carried Jenn away and she has no idea where Jim and Thomas went.

A sinking feeling in her belly urges her to find the others. She runs blindly through the trees and soon has no idea which way she is facing. She hears drums beating like a call to war, or a hunt. She can’t tell where they’re coming from. The bushes rustle, and there’s light steps and breathing everywhere. She sees torches carried by islanders in traditional decorum. Their spears are held ready as they search bushes and trees, sweeping through the jungle like a fire. They’re closing in on her.

*

Jenn makes her decision. Rejecting the pain of the talons in her arms, she pulls an arm free. The roc is not pleased. It tries to regain its hold, but Jenn has drawn a knife and she’s cutting whatever she can. She will not be made into a sacrifice. As the brink of the volcano is below, the roc drops its prize. Jenn falls. Her body goes limp and she closes her eyes, waiting for the end.

She hits the volcano hard. Ribs, shoulder, hip and arms break and a mind-numbing concussion that does not claim her consciousness. Her body refuses to die. She tries to crawl, somewhere in a crevice or nook… anywhere to hide, though it pure instinct that makes her try. She is not dismayed when the roc lands above her. It is time to die.

The roc watches her languish before clamping its beak on her arm and dragging her to the crater. She feels the heat on her broken body, before the last jerk that tosses her into the lava.

*

Thomas holds side where the bullet passed through, but he’s not safe to bandage himself till he finds the one that shot him. He might have another gun, or he might have to reload. There isn’t much time to find out. He hears a snapping twig and immediately determines the direction. He moves up… he hears his adversary walking away…. Thomas grabs the lantern carefully, prepares himself. He steps in a little closer and snaps a twig… but his adversary didn’t seem to notice. Then the other man opens his lantern and gasps as he looks down at a body. Thomas quickly shoots him through the back. The man drops to his knees and looks at his wound in disbelief.

“It can’t be,” he says in a familiar voice and he falls to the ground, extinguishing his lantern.

Thomas walks to him and in fearful curiosity, he opens the door of his lantern and looks down at the body…. There were two bodies, but now there is one. He looks down upon the man and Thomas sees himself. Thomas Newark gasps as he sees Thomas Newark’s dead body. Another from the darkness shoots through his back and exits through his chest. He looks at his wound in disbelief.

“It can’t be,” he says, and he falls to his knees and dies on the empty ground beside his extinguished lantern.

*

With his pistol shaking in his failing hand, Jim watches the grey haired leader lift a pistol to Jeremy’s head. He offers Jeremy one last chance, but Jeremy shakes his head, and for the last time. The leader shoots him through the head. Instantly, Jim hears the screams again, as though burning in Hell, in constant agony. Jim’s screams join them, turning everyone’s attention toward him, but he doesn’t care. He wants the screams out! He wants them out now! Jim aims the pistol at his temple and furiously pulls the trigger. A misfire. He cocks it again and pulls the trigger. Nothing.

“NO!” he screams.

“Get him! I want him alive!” the leader yells to his men.

“NO!” Jim screams and pulls back the hammer. The powder ignites, the bullet breaks through Jim’s skull, ending his life.

*

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:42 pm    Post subject: FI Ep. 15c Reply with quote

Fabled Island, Ep. 15c, "Cruel Fate"

Death is everywhere. Aspi hears Thomas duel, and the shots that killed Jeremy and Jim. She knows she’s next. The jungle scraps her skin and tries to delay her long enough for the islanders to find her. Somehow they found a way to surround her. Only one way is open and after running and thrashing, with her strength beginning to wane, begins to think they’re corralling her. When she sees the bamboo shoots, she knows it’s true. They’re forcing her into their domain.

She finds a thick tree and climbs it as high as she can. Forty feet up, she passes through the canopy, and runs along the boughs from tree to tree trying to break away from their hunting party. One misstep and she falls through the canopy, down into the center of a thick bundle of bamboo. Thick splinters the width of arrow shafts pierce her in a dozen places and she is wedged between the thicker shoots till every movement is like quicksand, getting her more and more trapped.

The islanders surround her. They take her spear and begin cutting away at the bamboo. Aspi spits curses at them as they remove her from the bamboo and use the poles they cut to carry her. She fights against the lashings but can get free. They move quickly as though she weighed nothing.

It does not take long before she is brought to their village, built of the bamboo that grows everywhere. She fights but nothing she does seems to hurt them as they tie her onto a crude stone alter with a basin of blood below it. They begin chanting in their foreign tongues and the drums rumble in her ears.

The shaman emerges from the masses carrying a cruelly curved knife. He stretches out his arms and all are silent. In a loud angry voice he speaks with his people. Only a vague understanding can be derived from his body language and his hands, but Aspi knows the story. It happened to her people, her own tribe. The outsiders came with guns and swords and their own gods. They killed, they pillaged and then they did the worst thing they could. They humiliated her people, made them slaves and forced them to end their old ways, keeping them in constant degradation. She abandoned her people, for they were defeated and she would not let herself be doomed. But these islanders have a kinship with the powerful and ill-tempered island. She does not know what they will do, but she knows she has become part of it.

She will accept her fate with dignity.


When the shaman finishes and he stands over Aspi with the sacrificial knife poised. He looks down at her. She nods her head. The knife plunges into her abdomen. The shaman cuts the flesh widely apart, Aspi can feel everything. The islanders cry into the night sky and pounding their spears and screaming chants. The shaman reaches in and lifts her organs to his mouth and feeds. One by one he consumes her organs, and she remains alive and awake. He cracks her ribcage and pulls out her beating heart. She watches him take it from her. He lifts it high above him.

Suddenly the giant roc lands amongst them. The islanders bow reverently as the shaman places the heart in its mouth. The roc leaps into the air and flies to the volcano. Aspi mind becomes hazy, as though her consciousness was water it was leaking from a broken cup. She feels an intense burning in her chest and then all at once her spirit is released. Her last thoughts, a revelation. The outsiders will never stop coming and the islanders know it. They will do what they must to save what’s left of their heritage from being corrupted and whitewashed. They will destroy the island.





The end begins as an earthquake. Below the ocean the massive plates grind against each other. A tsunami rips through the base of the island and those that survive that can still feel the rage of the volcanoes as countless tons of magma explode from within, then rains down like Hellfire. Nothing recognizable escapes the island, and for many miles around, the earthquake causes devastation. Ships are thrown onto land, homes are washed away, thousands perish before realizing anything is wrong.

All that remains of Gadiri island is a legacy of suffering after its disappearance from the face of the world, and a legend of adventurers seeking treasures and dangers. Stories grew to explain its violent disappearance and eventually became fables of morality and wisdom. Generations pass them down, keeping or changing as it seems most appropriate to the age, till the actual resemblence to the truth became so dissonant that humanity doubts it ever really existed. But this island of fables did exist, and flourished with a pride so strong it was destructive. Such an island could have no other fate.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



Thank you to everyone who participated! I had a lot of fun. The story didn't progress as fast as I hoped nor did even half of the riddles get explored that I planned for, but I got to try a new way of writing and I'm sure I'll benefit from it.

I would be happy for critique. It can be hard to step back and assess a story when you've been working so hard on the little details so I'm reliant on you to help me! How could I improve? What do you think worked well?

The poll below is for fun. I think I'll vote too.... Let me see....

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Obviously, Thomas had the best death. I bet you think you're clever, too, for thinking of it. In reality, the idea was already taken by Edgar Allen Poe. I can't remember the title of the story...

The ending of this story was certainly very cynical. That's all I can say.

How can you improve?

I think I've determined something. People like word games. To write a story in a simple, smooth style isn't completely satisfying. You must insert the occasional poetic language/word play/sophisticated words/epigram.
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gotta be the ironic time twisting death of Thomas, as undeserved as it was. Sad
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I reckon Ethan is actually still alive. A little lava isn't going to hurt him, now is it.

Remind me - how did Chia die in the end? Last thing I saw she was running away from the group.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lordofthenight wrote:
Well, I reckon Ethan is actually still alive. A little lava isn't going to hurt him, now is it.

Remind me - how did Chia die in the end? Last thing I saw she was running away from the group.


She couldn't have gotten far enough away to escape the destruction of the island. Everyone died. Even Lebrenth died in FITH.

Quote:
Obviously, Thomas had the best death. I bet you think you're clever, too, for thinking of it. In reality, the idea was already taken by Edgar Allen Poe. I can't remember the title of the story...

The ending of this story was certainly very cynical. That's all I can say.


So you're saying it's not clever because someone else thought of it first. Seems unfair. I haven't read that particular story and even if I had, it was aptly applied. If nothing else it took plenty of time to orchestrate.

And yes, it was cynical, but why not? It is in the horror section. The story ended in the most appropriate way it could without going another 6 chapters, at least. I wasn't optimistic however. The challenges I formulated turned out to be too complex for this manner of storygaming. I was heartbroken to discover it.

For instance, to get to the Heart of Akala, you needed the "Skeleton's Rib" which is listed amongst the treasures in FITH as the "Bone Idol 50F+". The blind man would have given you the clue to finding it on the south beach amongst the trilithons. With a bit investigation, you could have learned that the trilithons had dates and times carved into them and presumeably, when the sun was lined up, the shadow would point to where the bone idol was buried. Once found, it would have been obvious that it was just a piece of something else.

The additional challenge to that, however, was that none of the dates on the trilithons were even within a month. Jim's talent with navigation could probably have worked out where the sun would be. Otherwise the "Time's Table" treasure was meant to be used at the (unvisited) ring of stones nearby. Time can be manipulated there.

Yeah, I know that's a bit much, but even if I skipped that part, no one knew how to get to the door. Although the bulletproof juice actually does work for bullets, it's not enough to protect you from lava! You were already on a goose chase, which isn't what I wanted. Carmilla didn't know any better and when pressured that was the best she could come up with. I try to extrapolate as much as I can from the given and known parts of the story.

There was actually another opening into the lava tubes which would have gotten the crew closer. It wasn't discovered because it wasn't looked for. Then it was a matter of escaping with the Heart while Akala erupted.


So even if you knew exactly what to do it would have been another couple of months of writing in doing it. It's just that all the work I had done to prepare that and several other rather involving challenges, was wasted. It didn't seem to me that you felt any possession of the game. You even complained about the shallowness of DP's when I'm saying "Hey! It's your story! Do whatever you want with it!" I was trying to give you as much control of the story as I could.


Ok, ok, I'll stop complaining. I'm sorry I'm so bitter, I just hoped for so much. This storygame is the last one I'm putting on IF for a while. I'm leaving to the mountains again in the summer. I'll be back in Fall to look around and maybe try a new approach. Perhaps it will go better.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. Bitter.

Thomas' death was still cool, and not exactly like Edgar A. Poe's, anyway.

I don't know, I guess the reader can't read the author's mind. If the author perceives this, he should start dropping bigger and bigger clues.

In any case, that's the problem with letting your readers guide the story. They just don't have any imagination, or they just don't care where it's going.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you just need to chalk it up to experience Lebs. Often SGames don't go the way you think, especially this kind of SGame.

I think the way to do what you were thinking is to guide the players through one mystery once, so they get the idea. What seems obvious to the author is not always as obvious to others. It's something that I have been guilty of on more than one occasion.

Anyway, enjoy your stay in the mountains. We will miss you. Bye
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Which player do you think had the best death?
Ross
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Jenn
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Thomas
100%
 100%  [ 3 ]
Jim
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Aspi
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Ethan
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Lawrence
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Chia
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Chinaren, D-Lotus, Lebrenth

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