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The night was long and dark and the moon was barely coming over the trees as the beams of light danced off the pond next to the house. |
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Do to the sleep that he was lacking from the night before. |
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The war was over for him in his mind but the moment still lived on in his thoughts. |
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Looking out the window he could see an open field that he was thinking about tending to when the next chance he had. |
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The stars hung high in the heavens as he turned his head to a chair and looked at it for a couple [color]of[/color] moments. He studied it as the wind picked up pace and bent the treetops,causing a creaking sound. The room was littered with war trophies from his past as he glanced back to the window as if time had stood still for a moment or two. |
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He knew that he had to get to bed soon, for he realized the fact that dawn [color]was not far away[/color]. The grass near his house had fresh wagon and horse tracks [color]on it[/color]. He turned and began to head towards the chair to have a seat. |
Vishal Muralidharan wrote: | ||
Hey there and welcome to IF!!
I thought it was a good prologue, but its been some time since I did a critique, so I'll go ahead now.
A good first sentence, but you're missing a word. I've put it in there in red. Also, the last few words should read "next to a house. This is a basic rule, and I guess you already knew that and this was merely an oversight. |
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The night was long and dark the moon was barely coming over the trees as the beams of light danced off the pond next to the house. The trees swayed back and forth as Logan looked out his window. |
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Do to the sleep that he was lacking from the night before. |
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The room was littered with war trophies from his past as he glanced back to the window as if time had stood still for a moment or two. |
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The room was littered with war trophies from his past, and as he glanced back at the window, time seemed to stand still |
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His wife making her way back slowly to the house finally broke through the wood line in view of Chistopher. Chistopher glanced over to her not realizing that she had his clothing in hand and seeing that it was all done, it was to hang up the laundry for it to dry out, but now since it was begining to sprinkle outside and the rain drops kept falling down onto the land around them and the stars were starting to become less visible. Chistopher looked at her, she smiled softly at him in a way that would make a knight blush, and he knew that she loved him. Chistopher could not help but smile back at her, as his eyes seemed to zoom in on her's the blue that shined in the drops of rain hit the ground. The fact of every thing that was going on around them seemed to be oblivious as the troops that were gorwing outside of their kingdom. What were they to do, what thoughts were going through the kings mind as conflict was growing close to their gates |
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Chistopher glanced over to her not realizing that she had his clothing in hand and seeing that it was all done, it was to hang up the laundry for it to dry out, but now since it was begining to sprinkle outside and the rain drops kept falling down onto the land around them and the stars were starting to become less visible. |
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hit the ground. The fact of every thing that was going on around them seemed to be oblivious as the troops that were gorwing outside of their kingdom.
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What were they to do, what thoughts were going through the kings mind as conflict was growing close to their gates |
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