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City of IF -> Finite Cosmos - COMPLETE

#1: Discussion Chp7.1 Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 3:33 pm
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The battles are complete, and Chakra hears a mysterious voice as well as seeing her visions. Expect chapter 7.2 in a few days, along with a new decision point.

Last edited by ethereal_fauna on Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:37 pm; edited 4 times in total

#2: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 3:22 am
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Come on readers, don't be shy. Post a little reply. Did the battle scenes play out well? Did I need more/less description? What would you like to see in upcoming chapters? What did I write in this one that should never be penned again?

I crave a little feedback here! Smile

Also, please vote for an image in the poll. Thanks!

#3: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:13 am
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Sorry - read it, enjoyed it and completely forgot to comment.

I guess I was subconsciously waiting for part 2 - otherwise it's a bit like reviewing a movie whilst waiting for someone to put disk 2 in.

The battles played out fine, with a nice mix of wins and losses. Smile

They certainly have some good gifts to give away - do they make such rare and useful items - as they part with them relatively easily.

Chakra did well - a voice guiding her an excellent way of helping her muddle through a fight in a 'thinker' kinda way - well done. Very Happy

I look forward to part 2. Very Happy

#4: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:46 am
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Smee wrote:

They certainly have some good gifts to give away - do they make such rare and useful items - as they part with them relatively easily.

I suppose they craft these items. Seems logical, or perhaps they might just want to bestow rare items upon the group to improve their success as they seek the Great Knowledge.

#5: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:31 am
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I am glad you didn't go on to describe each of the battles or else it would have been quite a boring read. But I still felt you could have mentioned some major, salient trait about each battle, other than just saying they had a successful fight and won this. Can't wait for part 2.

#6: Re: Chp7.1 Gifts of the Pack Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:25 am
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ethereal_fauna wrote:

Ordoc steps onto the field after Knute, earning the Warrior Mark and winning the Staff of the Earth, a valuable compass. Asher faces his opponent following Ordoc’s successful round, and after a tiring battle kneels to the earth in defeat. Honros brands Asher with the Warrior Mark, commenting on the wisdom of knowing when to concede and admiring that as a leadership trait. He withholds any other gift.

Ordoc steps onto the field after Knute, facing an opponent slightly younger than himself. While their strength seemed well matched, Ordoc's Turnings of experience favored him. He earned the Warrior Mark and received the Staff of the Earth, a valuable compass.

Sice-del-Nordes stepped in to face Asher. Both combatants show skill and strength, anticipating the strategies of the other. After a tiring battle and much loss of blood, Asher kneels to the eartrh in defeat. Honros brands Asher with the Warrior Mark, commenting on the wisdom of knowing when to concede and admiring that as a leadership trait. He withholds any other gift.

#7: Author: Chainfire,

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:55 am
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Good first half of the chapter. I liked the fight scenes, espcially Holden's. He's so dark :twisted: . Sucks the life out of the atmoshphere.Brrrrrrrrrrrr.

#8: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:06 am
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Haha - nicely added Fauna - I'm never going to say no to more detail. Smile

I wouldn't have minded full detail on every fight, but I'm odd, and more than happy with what you've done - appreciating that readers like Rave would quickly get bored otherwise.

#9: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 11:18 am
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Smee wrote:

Haha - nicely added Fauna - I'm never going to say no to more detail. Smile

I wouldn't have minded full detail on every fight, but I'm odd, and more than happy with what you've done - appreciating that readers like Rave would quickly get bored otherwise.

Very funny, Smee. I meant no offense, but I was thinking in general. If an author has to describe each battle scene that includes five people or whatever number more than 2 or 3, you have to be careful that you don't lose the reader's interest. I mean I probably would read each battle scene in one sitting if they all captured my attention as I read.

#10: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 11:33 am
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I know Rave - I was insulting myself, not you. Smile

Fauna was totally correct to limit the battles how she did, I was just saying that I'm sad enough to enjoy reading every last detail if it's there. Smile

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