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City of IF -> Finite Cosmos - COMPLETE

#1: Polling Chp10 Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 5:46 am
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Chakra has opened herself to the guidance of the Keeper, and has received a vision of two separate paths that the group might take. Should the group follow the winding stream to the quaint tree city, or trek back up the other side of the canyon and into the craggy sand stones? Maybe they should try to forge their own way, heading straight northward like the White Witch had originally intended. Additionally, Holden invades Chakra’s mind, persistent until she listens to him. Can she trust her heart, and accept what Holden tells her as truth?

Chp10 Poll: What action does Chakra take next?
1.Remain a passive influence like the WWW, and allow Asher to lead them to the tree city 2
2.Adopt a bolder approach to guiding the group, and insist on the tree city 5
3.Remain passive and allow Asher to lead them down the sand stone path 0
4.Adopt a bolder approach and insist on the sand stone path 0
5.Insist the group blaze their own trail to see if the Keeper will send Chakra another vision 1

Last edited by ethereal_fauna on Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:41 pm; edited 6 times in total

#2: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:26 am
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I think Holden's telling the truth.He does seem to have the hots for Chakra.

#3: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 4:02 pm
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A good chapter, but it seemed to be a little more rushed than usual.

I'd have thought there'd be more surprise and relief at Chakra's waking - comments from the others, that you'd usually play out rather than dismissing with 'I answered a barrage of questions'.

This is noticing a change in style and not a critism, the chapter seemed to move more, hinting that you have some interesting plans in the future and you want us to get there. Very Happy

Chakra needs to start finding out just how valid her visions are. I say she needs to head towards the tree city and learn what she can.

I also trust Holden, and feel he is genuine. He could still be controlled by Oblivion and it is demanding he finish what he promised and try again with Chakra - his claims that he has mastered it being lies - but I don't think so. Chakra should listen to him, hear the whole story.

Happy Writing. Smile

#4: Author: Cowofdoom666, Location: Essex, England

Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 11:12 am
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Yeah, Holden probably is telling the truth, I say trust him.

#5: Author: kingcappie,

Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 12:06 pm
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I feel as if I missed something, witht he abrupt paragraph about Chakra waking up. I think there would have been more to it.

She should test her visions, maybe the group could cut their own path and see if the visions change any, or maybe the keeper will say something helpful to her.

Holden has gone over to the dark side (Star Wars in theatres soon soon!) I think he's hiding something from her, or maybe glossing over the truth just enough to win her over.

#6: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 5:14 am
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Great chapter. But I do feel that you rushed a bit. Holden asks a lot out of Chakra, but he is certainly attracted to her. But I think he is telling the truth.

I believe that the group should perhaps go to the tree-city. Despite the many health spells, the whole group is probably exhausted and still a bit weak from the last attack. And Holden and Knute's bout certainly shook all of them.

#7: Author: Araex,

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 8:27 am
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I don't think we should trust the tree people - we know nothing about them! And Chakra should trust Holden I think.

#8: Author: kenshin himura, Location: in your dreams

Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 7:38 am
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trust tree people..... trust holden....
kk did my vote!

#9: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 6:10 am
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C'mon people! Quit your moaning about how rushed the chapter feels (okay, Smee, you weren't moaning so don't get defensive 8) )

Throw me a curve ball- come up with some difficult-to-write suggestion for the next chapter, and make me work on it to bring the ideas together. I'll continue to author the story regardless, but it would be challenging to wrap my pen around concepts from outside my own little idea-box.

Key threw in one small suggestion on the first chapter, that has completely reshaped the whole story from what I had originally intended. There have been many other great suggestions and thoughts along the way. You readers and players can do it! (and hopefully the author can as well)

#10: Author: Araex,

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 6:28 am
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go to the tree people, but don't trust them. that shoiuld be fun if not challenging to write

#11: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 6:32 am
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Okay, fair enough, I could come up with ways to make that scenario play out.

#12: Author: The Powers That Be, Location: Santa Monica, CA

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 9:53 pm
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A couple curveballs for you:

1. Send Holden away. I don't see that anyone in the group would oppose that decision particularly strongly. Of course, I doubt Holden would just skulk back home if this happened...

2. Chakra was ambivalent about becoming a Thinker to begin with. She started down that path, and how's it working out for her so far? Her mentor, the WWW, got eviscerated, because she was incapable of defending herself. And oh yeah, before that, her boss, the Keeper, drove the WWW insane. And as for Chakra, she's been very little help to the group, and got banished from her body to boot. She feels weak and useless. Maybe this whole Thinker thing was a bad idea, and it's time to turn her back on the Keeper. Now that Holden, his path sure seems to lead to some power...

And a question:

3. So the Great Knowledge is out there, and we're off to find it. Who doesn't want it to be found? And when are they going to act?

#13: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 11:26 pm
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Sounds challenging! What does everyone else think? (And why is it that certain people seem attracted to a dark Chakra? The notion keeps getting brought up. Hmmmm.....)

#14: Author: Chainfire,

Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 1:31 pm
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She ought to keep Holden around and make him teach her Oblivion for almost killing her.

#15: Author: The Powers That Be, Location: Santa Monica, CA

Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 2:35 pm
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ethereal_fauna wrote:

Sounds challenging! What does everyone else think? (And why is it that certain people seem attracted to a dark Chakra? The notion keeps getting brought up. Hmmmm.....)

Yeah, the last sentence in my #2 was kind of a throwaway: I don't really see her going very far down that path. I do wonder about her commitment to being a Thinker, though, particularly with the WWW gone. In the same way that young, insecure college freshmen are vulnerable to campus cults, I could see her being tempted by some other, seemingly easier path (yeah, yeah, it's the whole Star Wars thing, I know). So here's #4:

4. The WWW's gone. How can Chakra be sure that the voice she hears is really the Keeper?

#16: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 5:45 pm
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The evil post-stealing fairy has unfortunately visited IF, but please be assured that I did read and respond to the posts that have sadly vanished. Please post your comments again (if you would) and feel free to add to them if you've thought of more to say. Thanks readers and players!

#17: Author: Darra,

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 9:09 pm
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If I remember..I said..."Now that your story has lured me here.."

1) They should go to the tree people. The circumstances have changed, and the travellers are exhausted. A pitstop would be good for them.

2) I'm not sure Holden should be sent away. There's obviously a reason and purpose for his being there. As the WWW stated, their strength is in their unity. (Perhaps the rift between them weakens their overall strength too.)

3) While Chakra seems destined to be a thinker, I really think she needs to keep working on her Light skills. They prove an innovative defense against Holden.

4) Something I haven't seen mentioned yet is that for all the influence Holden has on Chakra's mind and thoughts, she has a gateway there too and can influence his mind and thoughts. If he can eavesdrop, why can't she? It doesn't seem as though he'd stop her unless she got somewhere too close or dangerous. She might learn something. As Chakra was Holden's key to understanding his magic, he might be hers.

5) Being a Thinker and a practicer of Light, maybe Chakra can put a temporary buffer between the Oblivion Holden and the Holden that she often sees in her mind. It might take a toll on her, but if she was joined with him once, maybe she can slip in again. It might help her to know if he is being truthful or genuine.

6) I'd like to see someone who doesn't want the Great Knowledge to be found. Some people fear change the great unknown.

7) I wonder if the Oblivion has something to do with the Great Knowledge. Whether it's good or bad is up in the air. Yet, it was locked away for some reason, and allowed back in Holden's case. The question is...why?

8 ) I love the interaction between Knute, Holden, and Chakra and would like to see it develop more, but I feel like I'm missing out on some of the other characters. What about the friend who's given up so much? Chakra has hardly spoken with her. Seani and Ordoc too. How do they feel about it, and about having young Chakra as their new guide?

I said last time that I was getting carried away, now I think I've generally overdone it, heh. Again, I think it must be both fun and challenging to write this when there are so many different ways to go at each crossroad. Curious to know what your response to the ideas where though, mine and everyone elses. Will you repost your comments as well, Fauna?

#18: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 2:53 am
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Thanks Darra. I generally like your ideas, and have been allowing great consideration for the notion that both you and The Powers That Be (and perhaps a few other readers in chapters gone by) have put forth, that some being may want to prevent the People, or at least the Diasinians, from finding the Great Knowledge. I've always considered the travel and the elements their greatest enemy.

I struggle between writing long and intimidating chapters (Thorns and Steel comes to mind, but I don't know if my feeble attempts at storytelling can sustain interest for as long as Reiso's and Emporer's) and with cutting out a lot of information in order to preserve compact, reader-friendly chapters. I continue to try and develop all the characters and the storyline as I write, and shall devote a little more time to doing so in the next few chapters. Before there was a clamor for action, and that has been delivered, so perhaps it is time to return to introspection for a chapter or two.

#19: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 3:05 pm
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ethereal_fauna wrote:

I struggle between writing long and intimidating chapters (Thorns and Steel comes to mind, but I don't know if my feeble attempts at storytelling can sustain interest for as long as Reiso's and Emporer's) and with cutting out a lot of information in order to preserve compact, reader-friendly chapters. I continue to try and develop all the characters and the storyline as I write, and shall devote a little more time to doing so in the next few chapters. Before there was a clamor for action, and that has been delivered, so perhaps it is time to return to introspection for a chapter or two.

LOL. Don't worry about writing long chapters. My view is this: Write as much as you can and don't worry about length. Sometimes shorter is better.

As for the view on a darker Chakra. I sort of like to see it because she has been so much more on the Light side than anything else. I mean she hasn't done anything bad, and she has mostly been a victim.

#20: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 3:38 am
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The poll is up and open for voting! This poll doesn’t address the issue of sending Holden away, but tensions will continue to mount and that may present itself again in future chapters. I appreciate all the discussion and suggestions on this story. Way back in chapter six, Mordok and Random both mentioned that Chakra should come out of her shell, and develop skills that are more useful for the group. Throughout this adventure she has remained for the most part unsure of herself, and somewhat timid. With the death of the WWW, Chakra is now thrust into the role of guide for the group, and her character has the opportunity to assume a more proactive stance.

Many (dare I say most) of the active storygames allow for players to assume the role of only one character, and recommend that players base their decisions on what the developed character would most likely do. By design, the main character of this game, Chakra, is ill-defined and on a journey of self-discovery. You, the player, must shape this character, and that is part of the intent of the current poll.

Question players, please offer feedback for the author!

Due to the large volume of male players on this site, I am loathe to narrow my perspective to just Chakra. I don’t want people not to play simply because they are unwilling to immerse themselves in the role of a female character. Many of the past decisions on the story have involved circumstance or the actions of other characters.

*Would it be better to narrow the scope of player influence to only what Chakra can accomplish, or to continue to allow players to shape the adventure as a whole? What type of decision points and polls do you want to see on this game?

#21: Author: kingcappie,

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 3:44 am
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I said that Chakra should insist that they balze their own trail, to test whether the Keeper would send another vision or not.

As far as your approach to the game, I have no problem with playing a female character. Her flexibility is attractive. It would be easier to immerse myself in the role if decisions were restricted to only her influence, but I'm enjoying the story game anyway.

#22: Author: The Powers That Be, Location: Santa Monica, CA

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 6:03 am
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ethereal_fauna wrote:

Due to the large volume of male players on this site

Are you saying I'm fat?

#23: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 6:15 am
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The Powers That Be wrote:

Are you saying I'm fat?

Large volume, greater numbers, as in more men than women, silly. Razz

And besides, you wouldn't be fat, just snuggly. I try to form positive concepts of people, at least until they say something stupid. (Keep sounding intelligent and you should be fine. 8) )

#24: Author: Darra,

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 3:59 pm
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I went ahead and voted with a hesitant "Remain a passive influence like the WWW, and allow Asher to lead them to the tree city."

I don't want her to always be passive, but I don't think she's ready to be assertive yet. She's just starting to get her wings, er..horns, so to speak.

#25: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:14 pm
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I chose option 2, because she needs to take charge so as to hold the uneasy peace in the group.

#26: Author: The Powers That Be, Location: Santa Monica, CA

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 10:14 pm
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I voted for Chakra to become more proactive. I think that with all that's happened, she's feeling completely out of control, and she's going to do something to try to overcome that feeling.

ethereal_fauna wrote:

I am loathe to narrow my perspective to just Chakra. I don’t want people not to play simply because they are unwilling to immerse themselves in the role of a female character. Many of the past decisions on the story have involved circumstance or the actions of other characters.

Would it be better to narrow the scope of player influence to only what Chakra can accomplish, or to continue to allow players to shape the adventure as a whole? What type of decision points and polls do you want to see on this game?

It's a first-person story. The only windows we have into the action are Chakra's thoughts and perceptions, so the only influence we have should be through her choices. We can only infer what's going on inside the other characters, so we have no reasonable basis on which to make decisions for them.

As far as meta-questions about the direction of the story itself, I think that's a fine discussion to have as part of the forum (particularly if you request it), and that discussion could help guide you in telling the story you want to tell. But my preference would be that the polls refer to in-game decision points (meaning, in this case, Chakra's choices).

Plus, you know, I like totally get the whole chick thing.

Hmm, do I dare? I do! I do dare!

ethereal_fauna wrote:

I saw a narrow stream winding it’s way from the large, shallow body of the Wyld River

No apostrophe.

#27: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 3:51 am
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Ack! A mistake! A written error. And one that simply bugs the piss outta me. It's a most grievous bastardization of the written word. I shall have to correct it immediately, as it's offensive nature vexes me.

See, I did it again! I'm cursed! It's evil nature has corrupted me.

Ack.....I cannot stop......someone help!

(Thanks for spotting the error.)

#28: Author: Mother Goose, Location: Connecticut

Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 7:29 am
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I voted for #2 also. After all, Chakra was the one chosen for this mission in the first place. Didn't she choose the others? She should take a leadership role. And the tree city sounds like a place to regroup and sort things out in the company.

#29: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 9:17 am
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I am going with everyone else. Chakra should be more active in this journey because she was after all chosen to lead this trip by WWW. And the tree-city seems to be also the best place to rest, and away from dangerous creatures hopefully.

#30: Author: Araex,

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:28 am
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Hey RW, why have you got WWW as a link?

#31: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:15 pm
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No clue I just noticed it right now as I was perusing all the other posts. It must because the computer thought I was putting in an site address or something.

City of IF -> Finite Cosmos - COMPLETE

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