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Final round of season one features...

Bond vs ???

[ 0 ]

Mike Tyson vs Ted Bundy

12%

[ 1 ]

Phantom of the Opera vs. Freddy Kruger

[ 0 ]

Dragonheart vs Smaug

25%

[ 2 ]

Everyone vs. Everyone

62%

[ 5 ]

Total Votes : 8

Who Voted: Chinaren, DeadManWalking, Hak, Jack_D.Mented, LordoftheNight, Shady Stoat

#41: Author: Vampireidiot, Location: You don't want to know

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 1:38 am
—
hmmm....the phantom - out of the phantom of the opera vs Freddy kruger

#42: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 1:42 am
—
Sorry Lordy. I draw the line at religious figures...that's one of two things I don't want to offend anyone on...especially the higher powers themselves...

#43: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:29 am
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Your avatar suddenly became less...dragon-like.

ok, cassius vs dracula - they're not that religious

#44: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:38 am
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How about Gengis Khan vs Tony Blair?

#45: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:26 am
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Place your bets...

#46: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 2:58 pm
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Voted, and winning.

And you do know who Cassius is right?

#47: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:29 pm
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There are several Cassius that come to mind Lordy...which one were you thinking of?

#48: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:57 am
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Cassius, he who dealt the Dolorus Blow.

He's sometimes mistakenly known as Longinus, and is one of the starting vampire lines.

#49: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:01 pm
—
One more day...get yer votes in!

#50: Author: Jack_D.Mented, Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:46 am
—
I went for Genghis!
Two reasons... I want to see how pissed Tony gets when tea time is interupted by Mongol horsemen.
And... I want to hear him say, "Damned Mongolians," in a British accent.

Why? Because it amuses me.

Good stuff so far.

Next one should be Master Cheif (from Halo) VS. ALF.

#51: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:38 am
—
Okay it's the British PM vs. the Mogol...sorry all you Blair supporters out there.

P.S. This contains British-bashing as well as mongol bashing, no offense is intended to both the british and mongol populations on this website...it is afterall, a fictional story in which the characters hate everyone equally...otherwise they wouldn't be fighting to the death now would they?
------------------

Round Four: Tony Blair vs. Gengis Khan

You and your new buddie, Stan, are shopping for hearing aids when the cute little CCTV screen flairs dangerously, causing the pair of you to hit the dirt faster than Vietnam vets. The rest of the people in the room stare from you to the tv in disbeliefe as the commerical for pink spandex evil ware 'For all your nefarious needs.' cuts out to the face of the dragon.

"Can you hear me? I hope so because tonight, on ULTIMATE FANTASY DEATHMATCH, have we got a show for you." A little man in white shuffels into view and hands the dragon a new headset. Realizing she dosen't have to shout anymore the dragon bears her fangs at you in what might have been a smile but seemed more like something from a 'Faces of Death' movie.

"If you'll but take a glance you'll notice that our arena is packed tonight and that's your doing, you wonderful veiwers you! You've picked a match between two of the toughest condenders the world has ever seen." At this the dragon snickers although she skillfully tries to cover it by blowing her nose in a massive hanky which she drops on the nearest rows of cheap seats.

Squeaks of protests are voiced momentairly then silenced as she thumps her massive tail on the offending section not once, but twice. "Anyway back to our show." With a grand sweep of one wing she gestures to the darkened eastern corner.

"And now, direct from 13th century Mongolia, coming soon to pillage a village near you, the leader of the Mongol horseman....Gengis Khan!" The song 'You are the Wind benith my Wings' plays as a very irritated Mongol warlord rides his horse into the ring. You hear screams and cries as smoke drifts across the camera and you have a sinking hunch that it's not the mongol hord causing it.

"And if you ever screw up the music again I'll...Oh and erm if you'll look over there in the first five rows you'll notice that there's a strong hometown crowd for Gengis! Looks like he brought the whole horde of 'em with him. Now let's go down for a talk with our first competitor. Gengis...any last words?"

For a moment the barbarian rants in arcaic mongolian before the dragon shakes her head and returns to staring at the camera. "I have no idea what he said but boy is he angery. Without further ado, and because I really want to avoid any unecessary violence on the part of the vict...I mean contestants let's bring out our next offeri...I mean challenger."

"He's a brillaint speaker in Parliment and has managed to stay afloat even with the Iraq issue, the the rock of Whateverhisnameiclies in Hades, dragging him down. That's right I'm talking about the modern day PM of Great Britain Tony, he's no Margaret Thatcher, Blair!" For a moment the speakers twitch and suddenly the Sex Pistoles blare loud over the speakers.

"I WARNED YOU NOW YOUR GONNA GET IT! For a moment there is only flames and terror then the broadcast cuts out to static. A noisy commercial for Soil Whisky takes up the time, making you wonder how anyone could drink something made from loam, when suddenly a small face appears on the screen.

"She's gone bonker's totally nutty! Ms. Rai's not only killed the staff but during the confusion it seems Mr. Blair and Mr. Khan have managed to wipe each other off the face of the earth." A small clip buzzes in and shows Tony Blair, full of mongol arrows, running Gengis through with the Union Jack and shouting "Damned Mongolians!" at the top of his accented lungs.

The small face returns. "Thus we are begging you, any of you brave enough! To come here and be a guest host on the show, that's right, guest host the show. You must be able, and willing, to take on the ravings of a mad dragon and dodge her...'moments'. I cannot garuntee any benifits, I can't even garuntee that you'll survive your show. But if you're up for it just tap your buzzer." The dragon suddenly appears in the frame.

[b]"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE RODENT! COME HERE!b]

You look at the little black box in your hand. A spot as a guest announcer on Ultimate Fantasy Deathmatch...your deathwish come true! You eye your friend over the little black box...it's either him or you.
---------------------
Well who do you want to see up there in the announcer's box with me next match? Submit your votes to see who's going to endure a guest moment on UFD!

#52: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:46 am
—
Lordy seems like a good candidate. Fearless, bold and brave, cunning, wily and able to fit two ping-pong balls in his mouth at once (well, so the rumours go) Wink

#53: Author: Jack_D.Mented, Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 10:54 am
—

Quote:

"Damned Mongolians!"

Wooohooo!!! Clapping

Yeah, Lordy sounds good, but I think that Chinaren would be pretty amusing.

#54: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:04 pm
—
I'm sure I could do it, but I know Rai will only make fun of me.

*sniff*

Again.

#55: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:20 pm
—

Quote:

but I think that Chinaren would be pretty amusing.

I will not dignify that remark with an answer. *sniffs and haughtily stalks off, slips on something and lands upside down in one of Lordy's meat pies*

Good ep Rai! And welcome back Lordy, how was Icyland?

#56: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:20 pm
—
Very good I thought - but you learn a lot about the people you're with when away from home.

So many of them complained about the food - which was good.
The temperature - which was fine - I prefer the climate in England.
And the accomadation - which apart from the blatent sexism in room allocation, was more than adequate.

And stepping on my meat pies - how could you? Now I'll have to go find someone els... to buy one.

#57: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:38 pm
—

lordofthenight whined wrote:

I'm sure I could do it, but I know Rai will only make fun of me.

*sniff*

Again.

Damn Straight. Cool

#58: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:38 pm
—
Voting time.

#59: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:03 pm
—
Voted, and winning.*

*unfortunately.

#60: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:25 am
—
Well gee Lordy wins...I suppose I should have been expecting that.
------------------------

Round Five: Host vs Co-host?

You press down the button really hard, hoping to be the one transported...but somebody beat you to it. A week later, just as you've figured out that you're hearing aids arn't malfunctioning but that everyone's been playing a sick prank on you, tv suddenly comes to life a 1:00 a.m.

The screen flashes once and you see the familier face of the dragon, although you don't think you've ever seen her quite as happy as she is this time. "Welcome back to Ultimate Fantasy Deathmatch or, UFD as it's now being called!" Cheers erupt around the arena and you see that it's really a packed house tonight. The camera flashes back to the dragon.

"And tonight I have the great...uh well I don't exactly know what it is but whatever it is it must be great...of introducing my co-host...Give it up for the only demon who can fit two 'ping pong' balls in his mouth at once and has a fetish for pink spandex...LORD OF THE NIGHT!!!"

There's a whole lot of cheering that dies down into rapacious giggles as a lava demon, at least that's what you think he is, is lowered to the platform via steel cable. "Lordy what happened to your wings?" The demon grumbles quite a bit but you can't quite make out his answer...but whatever it is the dragon thinks it's emensely funny.

"You're doing this on purpose..." The dragon winks at the camera.

"Actually you've been voted here by your adoring public...same as last time. Don't blame me Rai Corp. cannot be lible for any damage claims filed by those who are, even temporarily, associated with it."

"I don't remember signing any paperwork."

"You could have contacted me at any time to withdraw your candidacy. Face it. You're just a masochist that really likes the pain I'm able to dish out on you."

The demon puffs himself up and steam actually comes out of his ears. "Just wait till I get ahold of my lawyer the esteemed Mr. Chinaren. He'll sue you for everything it's worth. I'm gonna claim defamation of character and mental duress."

"In order to do that Lordy you've got to have a character and a mind. Besides I think the esteemed Mr. Chinaren voted for you...look there he is now." The camera flashes to a box on the far side of the ring. It's plush, oppulant, and completely furnished in cash. A fuzzy orange monster with cash bulging out of his pockets sits comfortably with his feet up.

"Well Mr. C! Anything you'd like to say?" The fuzzy orange monster looks like he's about to say something malicious and cruel when the screen cheeses out...literally. Cheeze whiz starts pouring out of your set and you're forced to run to the neighbors house and turn the show on over there, much to their dismay.

"Now folks we've arranged a special bout between two never before seen fighters tonight."

"I've seen em before."

"You sure?"

"If I haven't don't you think I'd have said something?"

"I don't know. I was having trouble understanding what you were saying around the ping pong balls." The demon smokes even more and you can see the magma under his skin. The dragon dumps a bucket of decaf coffee over him and tosses it into the crowd, where it bounces off Hulk Hogan's shiney skull and knocks the Rock cold. "Keep it up and you might find yourself facing off against Shady Stoat in the ring."

The demon pales beyond belife and you could have sworne that you saw a halo crop up around his head for just an instant. "You really should get around to telling the folks at home about the really great fight that's been lined up for tonight...I mean it's pretty spectacular."

"And why do I have the sneaking feeling that you've done something to sabotage it?" A wrench falls out of the demon's back pocket, followed by several phone numbers for escort services and one for an adult video store in a shady district somewhere in one of Chinaren's stories. Smoke starts curling out of the dragon's nostrils. "You do recall what happened to my last crew right?"

"You don't scare me." The screen goes black for a moment, probably because the camera man has passed out and when it's restored a very pale and shaky demon sits lightly next to the dragon.

"Dare you to say that again." The demon faces the camera.

"The horror, the horror." You manage to notice a quickly disappearing bolt of white that might have been the aforementioned Shady Stoat.

"That's right. I don't need to scare you. She can do it for me. Of course if the Stoat ever fails to scare you I'm sure I can dig up some pictures of what I really look like..." It's too much for the demon who vanishes with a pop leaving a steaming puddle behind him. The dragon looks beyond peeved.

"Alright who's gonna clean this up? I'm not! You better get someone to clean this up before it eats throught the floor." She turns back to the camera with a slightly hectic look. "Well that's all the time we have for today...remember to tune in next week for the final bout of our first season! And it's all up to you who wins here on UFD!"

You're lucky. As the police haul you out of your neighbors and off to the pokey you manage to hit the vote button just in time to cast your all important final vote.

#61: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:31 am
—
What? Sweet little me, scaring the great big lava demon? But I'm all cute and fluffy and...

Oh. I see. Maybe that is what a demon finds scary? Razz

I'll wait to see the poll options. I think you've got enough to be going on with for now, so I won't flood you with new contestants Smile

#62: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:08 am
—
Well, Stoat is scary. Surprised

#63: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:32 am
—
Hey - I seem to remember beating a certain Stoat and Dragon into the ground similtaniously - I'm not scared of you.

For further details on the that certain fight, click Here.

#64: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:50 am
—
I thought Chinaren would have paid Lordy to take a dive.

#65: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 6:06 am
—
Depends who he put money on.

#66: Author: Jack_D.Mented, Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:48 am
—
Who's the next fight gonna be, you think?

I'm still wanting Master Cheif from Halo VS. ALF, from, well, ALF, the TV show.

Or maybe Ted Bundy VS. Mike Tyson... hmmm... deranged serial killer and deranged boxer... I see potential.

But anyways, write on. I'm loving this.

#67: Author: ninja baloon,

Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 1:22 pm
—
Winnie the Pooh vs GALACTIMUS the eater of planets(from marvel comics)

#68: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 1:46 pm
—
It was still a dragon though.

#69: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:17 pm
—
I hate to break it to you Lordy but there's your average dragon...and then there's me...Just cuz you beat up on Dfire dosen't mean I couldn't take you...but I believe we already had this discussion...something involving pints of blood and eternal servitude...

#70: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:14 pm
—
Right foks the new polls up...and don't worry. UFD isn't finished for good...it's just going on hiatus while I finish some other stuff...

Thus it shall have seasons...like any other TV show.

So naturally when I begin to post in it again, after this last match, you'll see ads for it all over IF...or in my sig anyway!

Still...vote and enjoy. Very Happy

#71: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:23 pm
—
Went for the Dragon bashing - a hint of what Varld will be like by any chance?

#72: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:52 pm
—
....maybe.... Wink

#73: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:25 pm
—
Alright...the wrap on season one...
----------------

Round Six: Season Finale

You're sitting in a communal cell with some large man in sweat stained denim coveralls bearing the name badge of Earl making calf eyes at you when a sonic blast from the nearest tv melts the cell bars. Knowing that theme music all to well you vault the desk guard and hand cuff yourself to the radiator just to watch the show.

Slowly the dragon, with a toothy smile that shows you Jaws is still trapped between her fangs, laughs happily into the camera. "Avid followers, and you poor saps I've caught hold of for the first time, this is the moment you've been waiting for...the Season One Finale!"

Behind her the crowd erupts into cheers as they realize it's the last battle hopeing they won't be the final sacrifices. "And, for your special viewing pleasure, we're dropping the barrier between the stands and the ring...that's right...if you're in the theater now you're in the fight!" Cameras flash shots of bars dropping over windows and blast doors rolling into place.

The people in the arena panic, each scrabbling fuilily at the walls for a few moments then they settle down shifting their eyes back and forth, sizing up the people on either side of them. "Those of you visiting from the city, IFian's you know who you are, please move up here to the sportscasters box."

You observe a few privilaged..er..things moving into the blast proof box with it's completely clear surface. "Now that you all are safe...LET THE CARNAGE COMMENSE!!" This time, amazingly, the dragon gets out of the way giving you a clear shot of the massive violence.

Orrin from Final Fantasy, Dante from Devil May Cry, and Vash the Stampede from Trigun. All whip out their guns and begin blastin, Vash in self defense as the other two quickly realize he's the weakest link. He surprises both of them by running away so fast it's impossible to belive. With a shrug Orin and Dante turn their newly drawn blades on each other.

Nearby, Cloud from Final Fantasy is dishing major damage to Willy Wonka and his uzi weilding Oompa Loompas when Sephroth, also from Final Fantasy, drops out of the sky. Cloud has an 'oh shit' moment before the pair of them leap upward and vanish among the rafters.

Master Cheif from Halo has whipped out his arsenal but the chick from Silent Hill is dishing major punishment. You catch a glimps of several Hobbits before Gandalf blasts them to ashes and Smog devours him whole just before the dragon from Dragonheart blindsides him and snaps his neck like a twig.

Ted Bundy is stalking a young college co-ed, who just happens to be an extra from the Dawn of the Dead, when he's taken out by a blindside punch from Mike Tyson, who's eyes are gouged out as he wonders between Hilary Clinton and Condy Rice, who are in the process of a nasty cat fight.

The dragon from Dragonheart is limping away when he's finished by a single shot from James Bond...who's promptly eaten by the pissed off host. "Harm the dragons and I'll..." Turns her attention to the gremlins who've finished off Smog..."C'mer you stupid fuzzballs..." She starts shiskabobbing the little murderous things.

Cassius and Dracula are busy creeping in the shadows trying to whack each other and Pooh bear and Galactimus are both sitting on a fallen log, think...think...thinking, while Freddy Kruger is having a hard time catching hold of the Opera Phantom. The Terminator and Robocop are blowing each other away with massive amounts of ammo, and several pop divas and their entourages are being decimated by Legolas and Wolverine...who then turn their attentions to each other...with devistating effects.

When the battle is finally finished, only dust and body parts remain. A blue blurr that might have been Sonic the hedge hog streaks in and drops a small white piece of paper in the host's hand. The dragon looks at the paper then at the last camera several times before saying..."Due to budget cuts...this show will be off air for a while...until I put enough heads on pikes to get the funding back!!!"

She flys off, smoking and fuming, calling over her shoulder. "Until then, this is Kalanna Rai for ULTIMATE FANTASY DEATHMATCH saying...until next time...!"

An hour later the police manage to saw through the handcuffs and they ship you away to a quite mental facility where you sit in your straightjacket rocking back and forth infront of a tv chanting..."UFD...UFD...UFD..."
--------------------
Don't worry...it will be back...you'll know when it is...

#74: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:35 pm
—
if you want an image of what it probably looks like, go here

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/285267

#75: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:35 pm
—
Nice one Rai!

Especially liked...

Quote:

Ted Bundy is stalking a young college co-ed

#76: Author: Jack_D.Mented, Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:36 pm
—
Woooo...

Cool. I like.

UFD! UFD! UFD!

#77: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:00 am
—
Gee Lordy...I've seen the Ultimate Showdown a few times meself...wonder where I got this idea in the first place?

Although it would cheapen the whole thing to add Mr. Rogers...

#78: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:20 pm
—
Well, I thought you might have done, but this was just to let everyone else - who hadn't seen it - know all about it.

#79: Author: Hak, Location: Hell's Basement

Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 9:36 pm
—
I have an Idea... Steve Irwen VS either the Teenage Mutant ninja turtles, or the Pilsbery(sp?) Doughboy.... he has to poke them at least once.....

Telletubbies VS Care Bears

Arthur VS Bob the Builder

Barbie VS Medusa

and Nemo VS Ariel....... if you need more..... just ask...

Lol... lotsa colors!!! XD

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