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Scrapyard Page 4-5: Enter the Moustache

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City of IF -> Scrapyard - On hold

What will Pierre do to get the Scrapyard?

Put them in some kind of devious death-trap

23%

[ 3 ]

Use love-potion/mind-controll on Mel

23%

[ 3 ]

Goad Marty into wagering the Scrapyard on a competition

53%

[ 7 ]

Total Votes : 13

Who Voted: Chinaren, Geek_girl72, Idea master, jnmrcs, Key, LordoftheNight, Masterweaver, Smee

#1: Scrapyard Page 4-5: Enter the Moustache Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:41 am
—

I've decided to use some different techniques. Hope you don't miss the pencils too much.

Alright everyone, it's time to decide what Pierre's dastardly plan is. This ought to be interesting Smile

Last edited by Argonaut on Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:29 pm; edited 4 times in total

#2: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:24 am
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Wow, impressive once again. I love the perpective and all the diagonals, and also the way you use imagination to capture the characters. Hmmm...add foreground and middleground? Not necessary, anyway.

I excitedly await the next page. Very Happy

#3: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 2:21 am
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Excellent stuff! I think this style looks clearer. Love the 'villain'.

You spell rabbit with two 'b's though. Shocked

#4: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:08 am
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No, she's already named the rabbit rabit!

I say, let the rats cushion his fall. And not just the rodent ones. Very Happy

#5: Author: shadowofthetiger,

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 9:54 am
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Hey Argo,

I love the story and everything, but why don't you try adding some color? That might make it a little more interesting. I happen to be an artist myself. Check out photobucket.com and search shadowofthetiger as a username and check my stuff out.

#6: Author: Oniko,

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:58 pm
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I really love the new direction that you are going with this comic ~ story and art! I love the black and white feel so I would suggest that instead of color that you could introduce halftones and variations of gray. And the character of the "Villain" is awesome -- he just has to be villainous with those eyebrows and mustache. The fact that he “keeps tabs” on Marty is very interesting!

#7: Author: Geek_girl72, Location: Earth, The Universe

Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:57 am
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Yeah, I've never known a good guy with a 'stach like that. Can't wait to see what happens to Marty!

#8: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:47 am
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Excellent as always Argo, constantly love the development of this story. I eagerly await the next dp.

Happy Drawing. Very Happy

#9: Author: JezSharp, Location: The middle of anywhere...

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:19 am
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Yep great drawings Argo, I'm hooked Wink

, can't wait until the next chapter Very Happy

#10: Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:09 pm
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I just added page 5 to the top since 4 had no DP. So check it out and start suggesting.

#11: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:15 pm
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BRAINPICK THAT MAN!

And put the woman in a test tube for later.

#12: Author: JezSharp, Location: The middle of anywhere...

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:48 pm
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Ok great dp Argo, didn't notice much difference either:

Ok I suggest (geared towards impressing Megan):

A flying machine with all sorts pf marvellous 'extras'.

A personal butler robot, who serves your every wish.

A walking house

(geared to a bigger scale)

A giant machine shaped like a spider.
A cloning machine.
A spaceship.

#13: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:16 pm
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He wil sue Marty! He will eat Marty! He will otherwise emaress Marty! He will take the lady's money!

That last one is a low blow.

#14: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:06 pm
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Excellent Argo! Wonderful stuff. Love that villain man!

I would say he is going to invite them to his mansion* James Bond style. Sit them down to dinner and then activate the wrist clamps on Marty. Leaving him slowly lowering over of a pit of lava with hungry sharks** swimming in, he whisks the fair maid away, to work his dastardly charms...

*which is filled with stolen inventions he claims as his own
**Hey, no one said it had to be 100% logical.

#15: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:39 pm
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Nice DP and drawings. I actually like them more than the pencil- it seems cleaner, although it cannot have as much shading tones.

I think Pierre is going to use his guests as some sort of human fuel for his new experiment. Perhaps he'll need to use their blood to power up his ultimate machine. Something in that general idea (he really is evil).

#16: Author: The White Blacksmith,

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:51 am
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I reckon he's been planning to sue Marty for aeons, and this is the perfect oppertunity to do it. That thingamabob in his hand is something he quickly ripped off from Marty* and he has Megan as a witness that he had it. He can claim he already had the invention, and Marty must have been spying on him. Noone will think he could have built the animal-caller in such a short time and especially if he wasn't near Marty while Marty was building it. Megan will be forced to go againt Marty. O what will our intrepid hero do?

#17: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:38 pm
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no, no, he made it himself!

Now, why would he wait until myrtle came to conduct his evil plan?

I know! It involves cloneing!

#18: Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:48 pm
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well these are certainly some unexpected suggestions. Remember people, this is a comedy Smile

P.S. The lady's name is Melinda, or Mel for short.

Last edited by Argonaut on Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

#19: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:50 pm
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It is?

I thought it jst had comedic elements, but was dealing with important isues, like the discworld series...

#20: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:56 pm
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comedy...

He invites them to see his "ultimate" invention, which turns out to be an old umbrella or something that Pierre keeps drooling over and idolizing.

#21: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:44 pm
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Laughing

Love that the bunny stayed with Mel, and is giving Pierre an evil stare in the penultimate frame. Hilarious.

The plan is simple...well the plan isn't simple, but the aim is. Pierre wants the junk yard. The reason he wants it isn't part of this decision point, but plenty of ideas for that.

To get it, he needs Marty to sign over the deed to him.

After a good evening, a fine meal, and Pierre sickeningly turning on the charm to Mel, Marty is fuming. At one quiet moment, when Mel isn't close enough to hear, Pierre suddenly offers him a deal. Turn over the junk yard, and he'll use <insert secret invention> to make Mel fall madly in love with Marty. Otherwise he'll use it on her himself and marry her.

Mwahahahahaha.

Happy Drawing Very Happy

#22: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:47 pm
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Hmmm.... can't edit my post to add another thought... (want to check on that Mr Mayor Wink

)

Forgot to mention that also, if he refuses, then he'll have just 10 hours to get the antidote to the special syrum that was in his food.. that'll turn him into a rat to join his new friends from earlier.

Very Happy

#23: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:07 pm
—

Smee wrote:

Hmmm.... can't edit my post to add another thought... (want to check on that Mr Mayor Wink

)

I think I fixed it.

#24: Author: Kalanna Rai, Location: The Frozen North

Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:20 pm
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Who are you evil mastermind and what have you done with the real Smee...

As for the fiendish plan, he hates Marty for <insert reason here> and has descovered that Mel is the love of Marty's life. As such he's going to do everything in his power to make Marty seem like a horrible person.

His fiendish plan is that he's going create some horrible thing that's against everything Mel stands for and say that Marty created it had had him hide it at his place to keep Mel from finding out about it.

#25: Author: tramp in a storm, Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:38 am
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Maybe he could politely invite Mel and Marty to his house for tea. Then while drinking tea like posh people, the bad guy can put alchohol into Marty's tea. Then Marty could start doing a funny dance.

#26: Author: The White Blacksmith,

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:10 am
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Ooh, me likey!

#27: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 1:55 pm
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I'm still liking the sharks in lava. But they have to have laser beams, for that truely villianess touch.

#28: Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:51 pm
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I believe you mean villainous LotNight. I think villianess would be a female villain Smile

#29: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:37 pm
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Quickly fudging over my dyslexia there....

Good plan - lets through in a slutty evil temptress as well, to entice Marty away from Mel.

#30: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:43 pm
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Actually, Pierre was only using marty to get to Mel... Who happens to be the last descnedant of the legendary <cool saounding name> line... And they're very powerful...

#31: Author: Geek_girl72, Location: Earth, The Universe

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:06 am
—
Well, it seems He needs to use Mel as leverage against Marty. He also seems pretty flamboyant and wraped up in himself, so I don't think he's interested in Mel himself. The idea of wanting the scrapyard was a good one.

Hmmm, Marty seems slightly incapacitated, I think what happens next should play off of that. Maybe his house is this crazy madhouse (Like the train in Wild Wild West) bulging with traps and gadgets. He could easily seperate Mel and Marty, or just trap them together. Maybe he does want something Marty has, or maybe he wants him out of the way for a while so he could sabotage something of Marty's, like some secret invention he's been working on. We know he's been spying on him for a while, so that would fit.

#32: Author: jnmrcs, Location: Puerto Rico, Soy Boricua pa' q tu lo sepas...

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 9:26 am
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He can use them to test his projects, like rats of laboratory. Of course you can make the test fail something funny.

#33: Author: tramp in a storm, Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 12:24 pm
—

Geek_girl72 wrote:

We know he's been spying on him for a while, so that would fit.

but he could be spying on him because he just feels like it. Or maybe Mraty skips around singing silly songs like 'wheels on the bus' and Piere finds it funny. lol

#34: Author: shadowofthetiger,

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:08 pm
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There's a twist in the story and PIERRE IS GAY!! He hits on Marty...

#35: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:46 pm
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Um. No.

Actually, Piere is a reknowned scientist in disgiuse wishing to study phsycological phenomena, but he can't tell his subjects that beacause it would ruin the experiment.

Do Piere and Rabit have a history? That could be an interesting avenue to peruse...

#36: Author: tramp in a storm, Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:22 pm
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rofl! Too many good ideas! lol. If a poll goes up I'll probably sit here for about an hour trying to make my mind up...

#37: Author: Idea master, Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages.

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:17 pm
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Tossing in my two cents quickly before the poll comes in...
Pierre's house should be something similar to one skit of Monty Python. Let me see if I can find the line...
"Good morning, gentlemen. Uh, this is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with all the advantages of modern design. Uhh, the tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these large contai--"
Yes. Something like that, and he uses this torture to secure the entire junkyard.

#38: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:19 pm
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And why did he wait for Mel?

#39: Author: Idea master, Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages.

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:20 pm
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...Extra screaming?
NO! Wait, he plans to kill her anyway and use her flesh and blood to make a cyborg!

#40: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:22 pm
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But, unfortunially for him, Rabit knows this...

#41: Author: tramp in a storm, Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:26 pm
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and rabit gets turned into pie.

You know... I feel sorry for Argonaut. He's gonna have to draw these things... lol.

seriously Arg, your drawings are brilliant! heheh, mine are all deformed in some way! lol

#42: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:28 pm
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I would like to volunteer the fact Rabit wasn't always a bunny... and then he met Pierre...

#43: Author: Key, Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 1:42 pm
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You've got too many ideas here!

So I'll add another one Very Happy

Pierre knows that he's not really much of an inventor, and Marty has all the talent. So he wants to kidnap Mel to force Marty to invent for him - presumably some dastardly invention.

#44: Author: Tiny E,

Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:02 pm
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Tiny E thinks that the idea of color and the need for an evil plan can be combined. Perhaps the evil plan is to colorize the world in a bad “Ted Turner-esque” style. He needs Marty and Mel simply to have some one to show off to.

Tine E also thinks that Marty is not as good of an inventor as Pierre, Marty will have to some how have to crank up his skill if he is going to take care of business.

#45: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:38 am
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Tiny E is entertaining.

Pierre is an extraterrestrial attempting to abduct the humans, but his tractor-beam's out.

#46: Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:43 pm
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Well I finally got around to sifting through the bewildering mess of suggestions... So here's the deal.

I have realized that this is really 2 questions: What does Pierre want? -and- How is he going to get it?

So in part one of our poll we will decide what exactly Pierre is after. Once that's decided I will put up a second poll to fill in the details of his plan. Vote away:)

#47: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:55 pm
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shadowofthetiger wrote:

There's a twist in the story and PIERRE IS GAY!! He hits on Marty...

heheh! I think that is a good twist! And voted accordingly.

#48: Author: Oniko,

Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:05 pm
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Yes, going after Marty is a funny twist. But I will vote for possession of The Scrapyard, It seems like the story will have a longer life and be less “slap-sticky” if this is Pierre's goal.

#49: Author: Geek_girl72, Location: Earth, The Universe

Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 6:52 am
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Voted for the Scrapyard, despite our new villian's flamboyant manner, I think the above has the most potential hilarity Cool

#50: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:23 pm
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Does new invention include phsycological manipulation? Becuase I voted for that.

#51: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:35 pm
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Argo, it seems you're going to have to draw about a touchy subject, homosexuality. I guess it can be insulting to some people, but artistic freedom bypasses this. After all, authors poke fun at everything. But then again, are the City values in accord with this? What would Key say if someone began drawing caricatures of Muhammed?

#52: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:30 am
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I don't see the problem in that. You are saying that we shouldn't talk/write/draw about people's different sexual preferences? That they are somehow offensive?

#53: Author: Pattern,

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:53 am
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Argonaut you have a lot of talent. Very Happy

I enjoyed these comics very much and will keep reading. As for the decision...

I think that Pierre wants Mel away from Marty and the only way Marty can get Mel back is if he invents things for Pierre. I think Key said this earlier, or something along the lines of it. Maybe Pierre is using Mel to get Marty to invent something great for him so he can win something? Maybe some sort of prize that Marty does not know about, but finds out after Pierre wins.

Maybe Marty has to find a way to prove he invented the thing Pierre has, or a way to get the prize. Tough Decisions to make. Although Pierre wanting the Scrapyard also makes a good decision. Maybe nobody knows it, except Pierre, that there is a valuable thing hidden somewhere in the Scrapyard and he wants it.

Good luck with Scrapyard, Argo!

#54: Author: Key, Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:21 am
—

D-Lotus wrote:

Argo, it seems you're going to have to draw about a touchy subject, homosexuality. I guess it can be insulting to some people, but artistic freedom bypasses this. After all, authors poke fun at everything. But then again, are the City values in accord with this? What would Key say if someone began drawing caricatures of Muhammed?

Offensive or mean-spirited stories or comments aren't appropriate in the City. But I don't see how making Pierre gay fits into that category (or I wouldn't have voted for it Wink

)

As far as cartoons of religious figures go, it would depend on the cartoon. I have great respect for religious belief. But I also believe that it's possible to be critical of religion without being offensive, and if someone wanted to do that in the context of a storygame, I would be fine with that.

Smile

#55: Author: DELETED,

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:37 am
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DELETED

#56: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:50 am
—

Quote:

Offensive or mean-spirited stories or comments aren't appropriate in the City. But I don't see how making Pierre gay fits into that category (or I wouldn't have voted for it )

As far as cartoons of religious figures go, it would depend on the cartoon. I have great respect for religious belief. But I also believe that it's possible to be critical of religion without being offensive, and if someone wanted to do that in the context of a storygame, I would be fine with that.

Ok, just making sure. I just wasn't sure what city policies were. Smile

#57: Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:57 pm
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Ok so Pierre wants the Scrapyard by popular demand. Now how is he going to get it?

Not many suggestions worked for this poll so I threw in one of my own, I hope it wins Smile

#58: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:59 pm
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I went for the classic deathtrap (into which Pierre puts Rabit to eliminate the last resistance..)

#59: Author: Oniko,

Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:45 am
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Ooh . . . . Betting the Scrapyard on the chance of winning some strange competition sounds very interesting! Very Happy

#60: Author: Argonaut, Location: California

Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:22 pm
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Aright I'm sure we've all had enough of polls, time to get to work.

#61: Author: Masterweaver, Location: Look around

Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:31 pm
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Happy new year!

We're still waiting.

#62: Author: BStheGreat,

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:51 pm
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Dang, I wish I could draw that good, I suck at drawing. I will be waiting for the new page.

City of IF -> Scrapyard - On hold

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