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D-Lotus
Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA
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 Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 5:41 am Post subject: AWARD NIGHT! |
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"Hello, hello, welcome one and all to the great IFy's!!!! I am Daniel Wilder and this is my friend and co-host, Alex Furdas. boy have we got a show for you tonight folks"
"We sure do D, tonight we reveal the winners of the highly coverted IF writing awards"
"Yes, Alex, and included in the award are these topics:
1) All round best
2) Best plot
3) Best character
4) Best description/detail
5) Best style/most original
6) Best interaction
This is going to be good!"
"Our first award is the best description/detail award, meaning the story with the best detail in everything, and the nominee's are:"
"We'll be accepting calls (votes) from our cool viewers all over the world, and based on these results, we will pick one of the nominee's!"
"Please remember that you can only vote ONCE and for ONE nominee, lets keep it fair people, otherwise D will make a million acount to vote for himself."
"Haha, good one Alex, but remember that was my little brother who...uhhh, has a obsession with creating multiple accounts and voting in random websites? Anyway, before you vote people, we have a few warnings to make. For example, DO NOT be influenced by other people."
"Because if you do, Key will probably block your ip address!"
"Well, there's really no need to get so dramatic, but...anyway, these are the warnings:
1) Do not be influenced because you heard other people voted for one story.
2) Try to read at least most of the stories BEFORE you vote.
3)Don't vote for someone just because they sent you a PM telling you to do so.
4) Do not vote for someone ONLY because they advertise a lot.
5) Try to be fair, don't vote for someone only because you feel sorry. Vote because you truly think their story deserves it, even if they've won all the IFy's so far."
"Well, lets get this ceremony started, voting polls are now open, so feel free to go ahead and waste your vote by not voting for either D or myself."
"That's all for tonight folks, we'll see you again when we hand out the awards."
_________________________________________
(handing out awards)
"Hey, welcome tonight to the IFy's! Tonight to start us off, sax is going to tap dance for us!
"I sure am, weve got this new latex coated ted dancing floor provided by clark rubber to enhance my dancing performance."
*several hairy good looking female dancers arive and i hide while a clone of me who can actually dance takes my place
*dance goes on
*dance finished and the clone and i swap
"And before we get to out next nominee's we will all see D's hula dance that he has been practicing for months."
"Well, not for months, sax...." Embarassed
*Man brings hula and gives it to D
* After a few boring hours of watching D do the hula dance, a crowd member throws a brick at him and D stops.
"Anyway, for our first raward-"
* Fake crowd laughter
"I mean award...is: Best description/detail! Who are our nominees sax?"
"Finite Cosmos" By Ethereal_fauna
"Thorns and Steel" by Reiso and Emperor
pirates vampires and nijas, oh my! by Random
Carver's Blossom by ethereal_fauna
"And the winner is...."
* man hands D a card
"Finite Cosmos!"
"Damn, i just lost 50$ who'da thought fauna would win?"
"Well, we did: this whole thing is rigged"
"Quiet D, dont spill"
"Anyway, let's hear it from our boring winner! Our earmuff seller is now going down the aisles. Earmuffs at only 2.00$!"
(boring winner speech)
"Okay, whats next on the agrenda-"
*fake laughs*
"I mean agenda."
"Our next thing is Best character! And you know why this is a very important award, sax?"
"Well because whoever wins it has the best characters in all of IF?"
"Ummm, I don't really know, but the case is, our winner tonight is.......
Dirk, from thorns and steel!. And let's hear it from winner! Come on down!"
(After acceptance speech....)
"What next, sax?"
"Next, D would be the very highly coverted best plot award, pretty self explanatory, it goes to the storygame with the best plot"
"Wait, let's analyze this: Best could have many meanings, as well as plot. Best is derived from the greek and latin words, besticus, which means a crazy old man. Does this suggest that a crazy old man or woman is going to win the award? Furthermore, is..."
*Rambles off as sax reads the award*
"oh and D if it were going to crazy old men why bother having a vote it'd go to Mordok straight away, this is one fierce battle for IFy's, I'm pretty sure all those involved must have no aliences with anyone and a motto that reads something like "homo homini lupus" meaning "every man is a wolf to another man" in latin, you're not the only one studying ancient languages, D!"
"Well, lupis poopies huppies, hippies, non hominus merdae verdae means this:
Just shut up and read the award, damn it!"
"But how can i shut up AND read the award at the same time?"
*D threatens to throw his microphone at sax*
"Okay, okay, and the winner is The Inheritance congradulations Mordok!"
*everyone takes a five minute cat nap*
"well that was a good nap, i mean speech, okay D whats next?"
"Ummm, best style/most original....not as in, D-Lotus has the best style hair (which he does)...I mean as, what kind of writing from one particular author do you like?"
"Ok, so the winner is:Pirates, vampires and ninjas, oh my!....take it from here, Random.
*everybody listens to some Random speech.
"Well, that was random! Now, announcing our next winner..."
"For the Best interaction, D....Wait, a caller, I wonder what they want!"
*Recorded voice speaks from the loudspeakers
"Whatever...the winner is: The Aīs and Bīs of crimefighting! Congratulations, Araex!"
*Makes someone bring the prize to his seat so he wonīt give an aceptance speech...
"And now, the most awaited prize, sax: The all round Best!"
*Sax does his "all round best" dance...half the audience abandon their seats
"Sax...I think you better announce this one..."
"Why?"
"Just do it"
"Ummm, ok...this oneīs a tie! A tie for Bushido and Thorns and Steel! Congratulations, D...oh, and you too, Reiso...."
"Thank you, everyone, and all I wanted to say was that..."
*Man takes D away amid euphoric exclamations...
"Well, thatīs all folks, and donīt forget to donate to the "D and sax, but mostly sax" foundation! Have a good night!"
_________________
 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:03 am Post subject: |
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Wow, I won one. Thanks people of IF! 
*accepts IFy*
And Sax was by far the better dancer, and of course the better host. D-Lotus' pants were too tight. 
Congrats to Mordok, Reiso and Emperor, Araex, D-Lotus, Random, and all the other nominees!
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Smee
Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Topics: 166
Posts: 5215
Location: UK
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| Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 7:37 am Post subject: |
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Excellent - All my votes came through - WELL DONE ALL OF YOU.
A great evening Dani and Alex - wonderful hosting.
*Wanders off to find the redbull.*
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Reiso
Respected Citizen
Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America
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| Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, 2 of 'em - Woooooooooo!
I was just happy to be nominated! Congratulations to all the other nominees who earned an Ify as well!
I am thrilled just to win 1, but 2 is even cooler; not because it's more, but because that way it's like one each for Emperor and myself.
Thanks to all the voters!
_________________
Sector 17 -- Rebuilding... ... ...
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart." -- Stephen Crane
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D-Lotus
Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 6:20 am Post subject: |
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Is sax seriously beating me?
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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