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dragon_fire372
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 Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:14 pm Post subject: Uncertain Quests |
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Walking down a winding sunlit lane, whistling happily as a slight breeze stirred the trees, a tall wizard strolled along. His hair was long and blond, and his robes were clear blue as the sky above. Strangely enough, he walked with his eyes closed, but his steps did not falter. At his feet walked a small black cat. Unlike the man, she looked around as she went, watching the road, the sky, and the birds in the trees.
After a period of silence, the cat turned to the wizard and said, “Are you just going to sleepwalk all the way to Maylin?”
Smiling, the man replied, “I’m not sleepwalking. I would have fallen in the ditch by now.”
“That would have been a rude awaking. I would have laughed.”
The man laughed in a merry voice and said, “I’ve no doubt of that, Guia.” She sniffed delicately and looked away.
After a time, a wagon appeared around a bend in the road ahead of them. The wizard didn’t stop walking, but Guia’s steps faltered. “There’s someone coming,” she said.
“Yes,” he answered. “Are they dangerous?”
The cat paused and cocked her head, as if listening to a sound no one else could hear. Then she answered uncertainly, “I’m not sure. They could be trouble, but…no, not dangerous enough to avoid. But be cautious.”
The wizard nodded and continued along. The wagon approached slowly, pulled by two white horses who would have been beautiful, if not for the dust covering their coats and their downtrodden demeanor. A young woman sat on the bench with reins in hand. She, too, looked dispirited, as if a great weight sat on her shoulders and bowed them down. Her head hung down, and her brown hair was lank and dull. She did not appear to have seen the walkers approaching. Soon, though, her head did rise, when the man was but 5 yards away. The horses whickered at him and would have continued walking his way had not the woman pulled them to a stop. The wagon halted, and so did the wizard. He smiled courteously in her direction, even though his eyes were still closed.
The woman looked at him suspiciously. “Who are you?” she asked.
“A traveler on a friendly road. I’m on my way to the city of Maylin, in search of old friends and new direction.”
She narrowed her eyes and said, “I asked for your name, not your life story.” Studying him, she then said, “I would have you look at me as you answered, stranger. Closed eyes do not belong on the road.”
Guia hissed at the woman’s tone, but the wizard merely shrugged. “My name is Persivian,” he answered, and then he opened his eyes. They were cloudy and white, and the woman, upon seeing them and hearing his name, gasped. “Persivian the Sightless?” she asked, now sounding nervous. “The wizard known to all lands between the waters?”
He nodded. “So some call me,” he replied. Although his eyes did not move, he seemed to study her, and then he said, “I have given you my name. Will you not reply in kind?”
For a moment it seemed she would refuse, but then she bit her lip. “I am called Minaar,” she replied.
He smiled. “Well, then, Minaar,” he said, “well met.” Then he paused. A strange sense of intuition made Persivian want to speak further to this woman. There was no real logical explanation for it, and the wizard wondered if it was simply loneliness for human company. Then again, Guia had cautioned him against trouble with this woebegone traveler, and the cat had never failed him before. Persivian wasn’t entirely sure what to do: trust his own chancy intuition and speak further to Minaar, or heed Guia’s warning and his own common sense and continue on to Maylin.
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
Last edited by dragon_fire372 on Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:45 pm; edited 12 times in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Great start! Very nicely written! 
<slaps his knee in appreciation>
Perhaps he could 'chat' a little more with this down-trodden lady, find out a little more and then make a decision on what to do next...
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:50 am Post subject: |
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| If Guia had never failed you then you know that thi is problems. It's better to continue your way unless she had something else to say. But don't start the conversation...
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Smee
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:58 am Post subject: |
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Hey Dragon_Fire,
Welcome to the City. Great start to the story. 
He's looking for a new direction, and has Guia's assurance she isn't dangerous (just potentially trouble). Who knows what shape a new direction might take, and if he has a feeling to talk to her then he should take it.
I look forward to more.
As a fantasy author feel free to take advantage of this thread to advertise your story and pull in the readers.
Happy Writing.
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:35 am Post subject: |
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NICE opening chapter!
I'd say talk, but be cautious. Keep your guard up and avoid doing or saying anything that might get you into trouble.
After all, you and the cat are probably both right!
*looking forward to chapter 2...*
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:33 am Post subject: |
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I would say wait and let her talk to you.
Great chapter 
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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i liked it
what type of person is the wizard will probably have the main effect on what he does
for example - if he was an overbearing arrogant one he'd keep on going, ignoring her - but he doesn't seem to be
he seems to be more inquisitive - so i think he should stop and talk to her
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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After a moments consideration, Persivian gave a mental shrug. Who knew? Perhaps both he and Guia were correct. Besides, maybe she knew some news from the city. “Have you – ”
“Do you know – ” Minaar began at the same time.
They both stopped and laughed a little embarrassedly. With a slight bow, Persivian said, “Ladies first.”
“I was, um…I was just going to ask if you knew…” The woman seemed far less confident now that she knew who the wizard was. He waited patiently for her to collect her wits. Finally Minaar was able to ask, “Do you no aught of…the Golden Star?” Guia’s ears perked up – it seemed a strange question for such a woman to ask.
Persivian, too, was slightly surprised. Of course he knew of the Star, though he had never seen it. It had been built in the center square of Maylin, a sign of goodwill to all the people and a magical omen from the High Casters of the court. The wizard had heard of it from an old friend of his that lived in the city, one of the old friends who he had come to visit in the first place. It was, in fact, largely about the Star that Persivian had opted to return, and it was uncanny that this woman, the first met so close to his destination, would ask about it. Guia pressed against his leg, and he returned with a slight nudge – their form of a meaningful glance. Trouble indeed, he mused.
“I have heard some of the lore about it,” he answered slowly, as if trying to recall what he knew. “It came to the city after I left. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I just…” Minaar looked down at the ground.
“Get on with it!” hissed Guia impatiently.
The woman stared at the cat incredulously. “She – it talks!” she exclaimed. Persivian noted the hesitation at the pronoun; how she had switched from “she” to “it” at the last second, but did not think much of it at the time. He was too curious about what the woman had to say.
“She is often rude,” he said reassuringly. “Just ignore her, and finish your question.” Guia harrumphed at him, but he took his own advice and ignored her. “What were you going to ask?” he prompted.
“Well…I was curious whether you’d heard the tales about how, if you carve a wish into the gold of the Star, it’ll come true.”
“I have heard that rumor,” he answered. “It is said that when the first star appears in the sky after carving your wish, it disappears from the star and soon will come true, is it not?” Minaar nodded. “Well, I don’t know if it is true. As I said, I have not seen it. Why do you ask?”
Her voice was muffled as a curtain of hair covered her bowed-down face. “You are said to be wise,” she muttered.
At that moment Guia turned around, facing the road behind them. She gave a hiss, and then a yowl as her fur bushed out. Minaar looked up and gasped. The wizard did not yet turn, but instead cocked his head to better hear behind him. What he heard was the thumping footsteps of a man, by the sound of it tall and well built. It sounded as though he were trying to appear intimidating, and judging by Minaar’s reaction, he had succeeded. The man then announced in a deep condescending voice, “Well, well, look who we find on this lonely stretch of road.”
To either side, Persivian heard the rustle of leaves and knew that more men were stepping out onto the road. He could sense Minaar shaking. It seemed obvious to him that she knew these men, whoever they were, and it seemed to him that this meeting could not be chance. But whatever the circumstances, it made him uneasy. Guia shared his sentiments, for he felt strong waves of apprehension coming from her. The wizard turned around.
“That is a good question,” he stated, courteously yet with an edge. “I am interested in the answer myself.”
Mutterings sprang up in the strangers around him, which served a double purpose – it showed Persivian that these men recognized him, and it told him about how many there were: from the sound of it, eight including the leader. The wizard cocked his head, first one way and then the other, trying to take a measure of these men, whoever they may be. Guia stepped delicately on his boot. Caution, the touch said.
Ahead of him, the leader sketched a bow. “Sightless One,” he said, his tone less imposing now, respectful but not overly fearful. “Forgive us for startling you. Our quarrel is not with you, but with the woman. It would not do well for you to witness, and is of no consequence to you.” Persivian smiled. It was nothing more than a none-too-subtle request that he leave.
Minaar sat on her wagon, twisting the reins in her hands. Guia, at his feet, was still hissing in her throat, and it was obvious this encounter bothered her. It did not sit well with the wizard either. Eight men to confront one woman? He could of course leave; as the man said, this had nothing to do with him. But he did not like that option.
So what then? He had no idea who was in the right here, the men or Minaar. He didn’t know the situation, he didn’t understand the circumstances. Common sense counseled him, once again, to walk on. But then, common sense didn’t really seem to count for much right now. So stay, then? Talk with the man? Make sense of the situation, and offer his council? Many respected his opinion, but then it seemed unwanted here. He could fight the men off, the odds didn’t seem difficult to him, and yet it wasn’t in his nature to attack unprovoked. What would serve him best, intimidation, wisdom and reasoning, or simply walking on?
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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Another chapter that pulls you right in
I'd say go for wisdom and reason. You need more information before you can decide whether to fight or whether to walk away. I have a sneaking suspicion that, if it takes 8 men to go after a single female, then the female is either extremely valuable or can look after herself in a fight.
I could be wrong, of course. I often am 
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, first rate. Top notch. Two thumbs up! 
Play it cautious I guess, though it is a little hard to say how cautious, not knowing how much firepower the wiz is packing. So I am sitting on the fence a bit. String them along a little, see how it plays out.
And post the next chapter!!
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | And post the next chapter!! |
Ah - I discover the not so subtle culprit for all the new authors producing 15 chapters a day 
Indeed a great chapter - to the point and interesting to read. As the stoat said, pulls you in.
I fight my desire to just say attack so I can read how Persivian would defeat 8 soldiers. Given my enjoyment of magic this is hard, but it doesn't seem in our magicians nature.
Ask questions, use wisdom and reason, but I have my fingers crossed that curiosity won't kill the cat.
Happy Writing.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 3:57 am Post subject: |
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Nice chapter.
I said that you must talk to them but not figth even when they started. It's better to have a little more information. If they want to fight then leave them figth her.
I'm curious about her. What importance she have? Maybe she have the thing that she asked for. Who knows?
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 4:55 am Post subject: |
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| Nice chapter. I think you should ask if they would mind waiting till you finish your conversation.
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The Powers That Be
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| Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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Found this one after Smee gave it its well-deserved nomination. Nice job! I agree with Ingro's idea.
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| Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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Hey dragon_fire, let me add my welcome to everyone else's. Your first chapter really drew me in with its light banter and all because it not only sets up the background and personality of the wizard, but also sets the stage for an interesting conflict. As for the second chapter, the little information you give really keeps the reader interested. That is my two pence 
As for what to do. I would like to see some battle between a wizard and eight men, but that would not do much for the story I think. I would say try and delay their attack, and act neutral. Try and find out their reasoning for coming after this woman. Like someone else has mentioned, eight men after one woman is a bit strange, and must mean the woman is either very important, or very dangerous. 
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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Yay, my first poll ever.
I hope you appreciate it too, cuz I was all set to write another chapter, but then realized I would have to wait. The poll's up for 7 days, and then I'm writing another chapter, no matter what you say!
By the way, thanks for the nomination <blush>. I'm glad you're all enjoying it!
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:35 am Post subject: |
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Hey Dragon,
I've voted for reason with the men and try and find out what's going on.
I look forward to the new chapter.
When this poll finishes give me a PM and I'll delete it for you ready for the next poll.
Happy Writing.
_________________
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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“What exactly is your reason for apprehending this woman?” Persivian asked the man in charge.
“ Our reason’s of no business to you, wizard!” called out a young man, to Persivian’s left.
Some of the other men laughed, but the leader called out, “Quiet!” Persivian heard the subtle change in tone a seeing man may have missed. The leader was smiling behind his harsh reprimand. He just didn’t think the wizard could see it.
“Forgive the rudeness of my men, Sightless One,” said the man. “But we have every right to apprehend this…woman,” the sneer in his voice was undeniable, “and resent being questioned on the matter.”
“I can see that,” the wizard said with a bow. “Eight men on a chase are not given to lenience.” More mutters, he was pleased to hear. Perhaps that would make them a little more wary. “Be that as it may,” he continued, his voice now hard as a sheathed blade, “I do request that you answer my question, for I cannot in good conscience leave here without knowing the truth of it.”
The big man sighed in a way that reminded Persivian of a growling bear. Clearly this was not what he had expected and he did not welcome the change. Persivian didn’t care. Something about this encounter made him increasingly suspicious. Surreptitiously he folded his hands into his belled sleeves, where they could not watch his hands. Then he spoke, “I bid you speak quickly so we can all be on our way.”
For a moment no one spoke, and there was nothing to hear but the wind and nervous motions of the horses. Guia leapt up to Persivian’s shoulder and crouched down, watching the men with narrowed eyes. Her tail switched back and forth.
Finally the man spoke. “We were hired in the courts of Elbberon, a grand city west of Maylin. We were told to track this woman and recover several precious objects that had been stolen – ”
“Stolen! You – ”
“Thieved away from several wealthy estates in the nobles’ district of the city,” continued the man with a raised voice.
Behind him, Minaar was in outrage. “I am no thief! You are a vagabond and a liar, Dolan!”
“Be quiet, rat!” cried the man. One of his gang leapt at Minaar and struck her. Her protestations stopped with a groan.
“Stop!” exclaimed the wizard, whirling unerringly to the warrior who had struck the blow. His cloudy eyes gleamed with anger. “You will not attack a woman who is defending herself to an impartial stranger,” he snarled, his voice soft but venomous. “Not while I am here.”
“Well then maybe you ought to leave,” someone muttered, but no one dared dispute Persivian as he moved to Minaar.
“Lady?” he asked. “Are you greatly injured?”
“No.”
“Then what have you to say?”
The leader (now identified as Dolan) interrupted. “This is not a courtroom, wizard!” Persivian help up one imperious finger, quite obviously instructing him to shut his mouth. Dolan complied. Even so, Persivian knew he was not idle. He heard the squelch of leather as the man gripped his sword. Behind him, someone nocked an arrow.
“What have you gotten us into?” muttered Guia.
“Lady?”
With some effort, Minaar spit out, “That man is a liar. I am no thief, and he pursues me for his own gain.”
“That snake would spit out any lie to get help,” Dolan said. Slowly Persivian turned to face him. “Sir, you are said to uphold justice,” he implored. “Would you hinder us to the aid of a thief?”
A tricky situation, Persivian thought. Either the man was a gifted actor, or sincere. Minaar’s situation was still a mystery, but he did not believe it was one of thievery. But in the end, he let Guia decide. She always knew the truth. Persivian kept his sightless eyes on Dolan and waited for the cat’s verdict.
“Liar,” she hissed.
The scene exploded into action. “Attack!” cried Dolan, and steel rang on steel as swords were drawn. The archer pulled back and aimed. Unfortunately for them, Persivian was quicker. Withdrawing his hand from his sleeve, he pinched a small glass ball between his thumb and forefinger. It shattered in his grip, and at once a thick, inky darkness fell over the road. The advantage abruptly switched from the assailants to Persivian, who was at home in the darkness.
Some of the assailants screamed in panic and blundered away through the trees, but others kept their wits. The archer was among them, and he let his arrow fly. The wizard heard the snap of the bowstring and the soft pfft sound as the arrow rushed through the air. He slashed his hand and if fell to the ground in two pieces. Then he swung the same hand through the air in a backhand motion. There was a thump as his adversary flew through the air and hit a tree. No more archer.
“To your left,” whispered Guia in his ear. He heard a man running at him, and the sword whistled in the air. Persivian murmured a syllable, and briefly, the new attacker was slowed. Although he could not see, Persivian knew that the sword swinging through the air in slow motion was aimed at his neck, so he dropped into a kneel. An instant later time returned to normal for his unfortunate opponent, and he sprawled forward, off balance, straight onto the wizard’s upraised hands. A boom swiftly accompanied by a blast of fire shot from his hands into the chest of his adversary, and he fell in a heap.
A moment later, Persivian felt a touch of metal on his throat. He heard the voice of Dolan, saying, “Clever wizard. Lucky for me, I can see in the dark, even yours.” The man chuckled, and said, “You should not have interfered, but I’m glad you did. Your head will fetch a worthy price.”
Persivian smiled. Raising up his hand, he placed it on the blade of Dolan’s sword. Frost spread up the metal and onto Dolan’s hand, faster than it took to blink an eye. The big man cried out in pain as burning cold swept into his arm, and the sword fell to the ground. Ice quickly spread throughout his entire body, leaving him breathing steam in quick gasps, unable to move except for violent shivering as the frost invaded his body and left it immobile. Not to mention in pain. Ice can burn colder than fire.
No longer worrying about the leader, Persivian turned to deal with the rest of the man’s gang. Frowning, he realized there were none. Three had run away when the darkness descended. Persivian had disbanded the two, and now Dolan. There should have been two more rushing him, but no one came. “Guia, where are the other two?”
The cat replied, “They are unconscious or dead. I presume the latter. Their heads are at odd angles.” Guia’s eyes, which could see through any darkness, then said, “One of their swords is missing.”
“Minaar,” Persivian murmured. Of course. She was not as helpless as she had appeared. His attention returned to Dolan as the man groaned on the ground. “Now, Master Dolan, I shall deal with you,” he said. Lifting his hand with the palm facing up, Persivian focused his mind on Dolan. The man rose through the air until he was floating in front of the wizard, his frightened eyes focused on the other man’s cloudy ones.
Regarding him coldly, Persivian stated, “Only a fool mocks his opponent before killing him.”
“Then, wh-what are you d-d-doing?” retorted Dolan, his teeth chattering with the effects of the spell.
“Oh, I’m not going to kill you,” said Persivian.
“Pity,” muttered Guia, circling around the inert man.
The wizard continued, “I just want information. The same information as before, only this time the answer had better not be a lie.” Eying the man, Persivian added, “For your own good, I’d suggest you don’t test us.”
Settling down on the ground and staring Dolan in the eye, Guia hissed, “I will know if you do, and it will be my pleasure to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” In a different situation, being threatened by a cat would not have seemed particularly frightening to the suspended man, but looking into Guia’s wide green eyes and eager claws, he began to shiver with more than cold.
“I-I can’t answer yuh-you,” Dolan began. “The commissioner p-put a s-s-sp-spell on m-me…”
Guia hissed. Persivian placed his hand on the man’s forehead. “Let’s get rid of the cold, shall we?” he commented, his voice far frostier than his spell had been. From his hand a glowing red heat spread out to envelop Dolan’s body. It burned away the effects of the ice spell, and though it did no physical damage, it felt like flames passing slowly over his flesh. He gritted his teeth and tried not to cry out.
Though his face remained impassive, Persivian winced inwardly. He did not enjoy watching others suffer, but it was necessary. The girl was dangerous somehow, and he needed to know why.
Finally the spell reached its end and Dolan was released from its burning grip. “Now it is time for the truth,” Persivian said.
“Alright,” said the man. “Just don’t…cast anything else on me, please.” When the wizard made no reply, he continued, “I was the captain of the guard at an estate outside Elbberon. My lord ordered me to travel east and search the city Maylin for one who was called Minaar, a woman traveling from the north.”
When the man halted, Persivian demanded, “Why?”
“I don’t know. He did not explain his purpose. I only received a name and a…basic description.
The wizard waited, but although her tail lashed back and forth, Guia said nothing. The man was not lying. Persivian sighed; this made it more difficult. “Is there anything else you can tell me?” Dolan said nothing, and the wizard knew there was something more. “Speak!”
Reluctantly, Dolan replied, “Only that she, she is – ” Then he gagged and retched. A surge of magical power surrounded him – the aura of a latent spell. There was a ripping sound, a short scream and then nothing.
After a moment, Persivian lowered the hasty shield spells he had erected around himself. He listened for Dolan’s breathing, but it wasn’t there. “He is dead,” said Guia. She pressed herself against Persivian’s leg, clearly unnerved.
“Thank you for pointing that out,” he muttered dryly. Obviously, someone had wanted the man to remain quiet. Carefully he lowered Dolan’s body to the ground, stooping to close his eyelids. He felt blood and had no desire to know what it was from. Kneeling closer, Persivian felt the aura of a cloaked magical device. Feeling in Dolan’s shirt pocket, he pulled out a chain hung with a small stone. “So this is how he could see,” Persivian murmured. He put the item in his pocket.
As he stood, Guia remarked, “The battle did not go well.”
“We are alive.”
“You were careless,” she said sharply. “You did not scan for enchantments properly, and you underestimated them. A little less luck and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
Persivian sighed. “You are right, I know. I was cocky. But we are alive, and there is something else going on that bears investigation.”
Quickly the two searched the area. There was little to see. The wagon and horses were still there, afraid but unharmed. Guia found Minaar’s trail, leading off the road into the woods, but they had not followed if very long before it disappeared. When he asked if she could pick it up again, Persivian received a tart reply that she was not a bloodhound. So instead they went back to the road.
As he passed again the bodies of the men they had fought, Persivian shook his head. “Not as reasonable as I would have hoped,” he commented. “Such a waste of life, for what?” Guia climbed back onto his shoulder, and he stroked her fur and drew what comfort from her that he could. Raising his hand, he gathered the cloud of darkness back into a small ball, and the shattered glass reformed around it. He stowed the ball back in his sleeve and sighed as the sunlight returned. Then he turned to the wagon and said, “Only one thing left to investigate.”
The wizard walked around the back of the wagon and found the steps leading inside. He let himself in and then asked, “What do I see, my friend?”
“A small aisle, cabinets and shelves on each side. The shelves have herbs, foodstuffs…and gems.” Sensing his surprise, she clarified, “Three raw gems: kyanite, emerald, and tiger's eye. I do not know their purpose.” Persivian felt for the gems and held them in his hands. He could sense not spell in them, yet they tingled in his hands, and he knew they had magical properties. After a moment's hesitation, he slipped them in a pouch to study later.
“There is an envelope here,” said Guia. She jumped from his shoulder and placed her paw upon an opened envelope of heavy parchment. There was no letter inside, but Guia said, “It is marked with a name and address of someone in the city.”
Holding the envelope, Persivian was once again in a quandary. He needed to learn more about this Minaar, who was clearly more than she had seemed. Why was she interested in the Star? Why had Dolan been after her? How could she be so important that they would risk attacking him to get to her? The wizard could not find the answers here. Searching for her in the forest was an option, but it hardly seemed to be a good one. The other option was to continue on the Maylin. But from there? The name on the envelope was a good lead, but he knew nothing of the person and did not wish to be careless again. One of his old friends might know more answers; might he head for them?
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 3:00 am Post subject: |
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Another enjoyable chapter. Nice work, Dragon
As far as I see, Persivian has no great reason to start a quest on behalf of this woman. Unpleasant as the episode was, it seems over now. She has gone, the guards are dead. He'll be curious, but I don't think that will be motivation enough to change his plans.
His main focus should return - for the time being - on going to consult his old friend about the Golden Star. Of course, what he learns there might change things significantly.
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:54 am Post subject: |
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Aye, I have to hit my f5 key again (does so) and agree with the Twisted Stoat.
It's been a pleasant diversion, but back to basics now. In the cart perhaps. to the victor the spoils.
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 5:43 am Post subject: |
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 Agree with those two
Nice chapter
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:28 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter.
It was a good fight, nicely described. Our hero is obivously a good mage, but you included his weaknesses well.
Unfortunately *reaches for F5 only to find it worn out* I only agree with Stoat.
He is close to his original target, and surely he hasn't got any other friends nearer than the one in the city. Carry on as before, and ask your friend if he can shed any light on the mystery.
I don't think he'll forget this easily though - it sounds like quite high level magic that kills someone if they talk and he'll want to find the person behind such a spell.
Happy Writing, and good luck with SGoTM.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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Excellent chapter, dragon. I really love Guia with her droll remarks. I have to go with everyone else on this decision. It is no use trying to look for the women, and Guia has already reprimanded you for being careless, and it would seem she is normally right. And looking for the other men would just be a useless move. We need to know more about this women, and her connection to the Star.
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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Well, unless half a dozen people decide it would be amusing to send a blind man tramping through a forest, I think a poll is somewhat superfluous here. Any last-minute suggestions before I write the next chapter?
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Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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I suggest you write the next chapter.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:06 am Post subject: |
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wow, awsome story, well written
i agree with the others's opinions
sorry i read this earlier today and would have posted but my internet broke shortly after finnished it
*reaches up to press thje f5 button*
ooookay what did that do
ahh well
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:10 am Post subject: |
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You will forever amuse me, saxon.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 10:18 am Post subject: |
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oh must 1? forever is such a long time and my arms will grow tires, although you're wish is my command
*picks up three running chainsaws and begings juggling them*
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| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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I am very sorry that it is taking so long to write this chapter. Tonight has been the first time I was able to start working on it, and it should be up withing a few days.
So to all those waiting on the edge of your seats for the next chapter, hold tight. (If you think you detected sarcasm, pat yourself on the back )
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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*waits impatientlyer*
*waits less impatiently for smee's correctual reply*
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 10:44 am Post subject: |
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*Sits and chews on apple, waiting for new chapter* I don't think Smee is going to check on you, saxon.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 10:55 am Post subject: |
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*checks on Saxon*
Munches banana whilst waiting for chapter.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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Hurray! Another story I've caught up with. There are so many! Well crafted, Dragon Fire, and bold. Even with his spells, a blind wizard is a tricky character. I'm sure it will be very rewarding in terms of story. I'm terrified for Guia, being not only a marvelous companion but also being the wizard's eyes! Very compelling....
Storywise, there's no doubt the wizard needs counsel about Minaar and the name on the envelope. I'm confused by that envelope, by the way. If it was a letter to Minaar, why does it have someone else's name on it? Does it have both names in a "To:" and "From:" manner? Does it have her address on it too? Or does this envelope suggest that she has someone else's letter? Or she was planning to send a letter in that envelope but didn't get around to it. If there is a broken signet on it, I hope Guia noticed it....
Or maybe I should calm down and assume that the letter was from the person mentioned, providing us our first lead. 
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Smee wrote: | *checks on Saxon*
Munches banana whilst waiting for chapter. |
LOL. 
Reminds me of a monkey.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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| *scratches his head and goes to pick fleas out of ravenwings hair*
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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Slowly Persivian shook his head. No, he would not risk following the address on the envelope. Such a course would be foolhardy at best. “We will go on to Maylin,” he told Guia, “and find Jud’ami. I’m sure he can help us discover more.”
Guia nodded. “Good. Finally you’re showing some sense. Why you even stopped to talk to that woman is beyond me.”
With a smile, the wizard stepped out of the wagon and went along to the front. Stroking the horses absently, he considered the bodies on the road. Sighing, he remarked, “I can’t leave them like this.”
“Why not?” When the wizard frowned at her, Guia rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t being serious, you dolt. Let me help you.” With the cat’s guidance Persivian magicked the bodies so they were lined up by the side of the road. Then he solemnly unfastened their cloaks and covered their faces. Tracing a cross in the air, he intoned, “Honor in death,” then turned away.
As he climbed up onto the bench of the wagon, Guia remarked, “Even after all this time, you can still amaze me. They tried to kill us, after all.”
“So?”
In silence they turned the wagon around, and continued their way toward Maylin. Persivian was grateful for the transportation, although he did wonder how the girl might act if she returned to find her wagon gone. She’s the one who left it, he reminded himself, and put the matter aside. With the aid of the horses, they could make it to the city by dusk, and he was grateful that their last night on the road would be eliminated.
With Guia’s guidance they made good time and by evening were at the city gates. At first the guards seemed inclined to deny them passage as they were preparing to close the gates, but once they recognized the wizard they opened the way immediately. They hurried up even more after Persivian told them of the attacker’s bodies, lying several hours ride down the road. Persivian had been mildly concerned that his reputation would fade while he was gone, but judging by the look of the guards, the absence had merely increased their curiosity and respect. The wizard was pleased with this, because it would make getting through the city easier.
Now that they had finally reached the city, Persivian and Guia were free to locate Jud’ami. First, however, they decided to make their way to the city square to view the Golden Star. The cat sat upon his lap, directing him through the crowded streets, leaning to either side when they needed to turn, crouching to signal a halt. It took them twenty minutes to reach the square, and during that time Persivian marveled at how the city had grown. He could sense the people pressing close about them, and the scent of perfume, sweat, and salty air were heavy. There was also an underlying odor of waste and filth common to any city, but he was pleased that it was very faint. The city was obviously well kept. After a while he concentrated more on his ears. The sound of children running about was all around, as well as the clatter of hooves and boots on cobblestones, hawkers closing up their shops for the evening, and mothers calling their children inside. Considering the bustle, the wizard was glad it was the evening; he could only imagine what it would be like here in the daytime.
As they drew closer to the square, Persivian noticed a change in the atmosphere of the place. The mood was almost reverent, one of hope and sorrow. There was a low clamor of voices ahead, and a general air of contained chaos and fervor. Finally, they pulled out of the street and into the square. Reaching out with his senses, Persivian could feel it, set in the center of the space and those people surrounding it – the Golden Star. He could feel a magical aura about it, but didn’t know exactly what it contained.
“Guia,” he whispered. “May I borrow your eyes?”
With a glance of her green eyes, the cat nodded and jumped onto his shoulder. Persivian pulled the wagon out of traffic, then laid the reins aside. Placing one hand over his own eyes and one over Guia’s, the wizard murmured a few words. Once his spell was complete, he lowered his hand.
This spell was always the strangest for Persivian to use, and the most disconcerting, and he usually avoided it. It allowed him, briefly, to use Guia’s eyes, giving him sight. When he lowered his hand, the wizard’s mind was flooded with images, color and shadow and light. It took him a moment to adjust. Once he had, though, he was able to look around.
They were in a circular square, much as he remembered it. The sky was a velvety dark blue, a few clouds laced across it. Torches rimming the square gave it a gentle luminescence, outlining the crowd of people queuing in the center. Persivian turned his eyes to the Star. Its initial appearance reminded him forcibly of a sea urchin, rays radiating out from its center in all directions. After staring at it for a minute, though, he began to recognize its beauty. The surface glittered with a gentle sheen of burnished gold, and it seemed to glow somehow with its own quiet radiance. As the dusk deepened and the glow became more pronounced, it truly took on the appearance of a fallen star, descended from the heavens.
Surrounding the Star were all manner of people, men and women, young and old. At first it appeared as if they were defiling the Star, but then Persivian realized that they were in fact carving wishes into it hurriedly, with anxious glances up into the sky. Looking closer, the wizard realized that its entire surface, as far up as people could reach, was covered with scrawled messages etched into the soft metal. Suddenly someone pointed up and cried, “There, look! A star!”
Indeed a star had appeared in the sky, the first of the night. Returning his gaze to the one on the earth, Persivian was greeted with an incredible sight – with a soft glow, the marks on the gold were fading. The Star was mending itself, and the wishes had disappeared. All around the square were cries of gladness mingled with groans of disappointment, for no wishes could be carved into the star at night. Slowly the square emptied. Once the last star had disappeared from the sky at dawn, it would be full with wishers again, but until then, no one approached except to gaze at the luminous Golden Star in wonder, and then pass on.
With one last look at this new marvel, Persivian released the spell and returned to his blindness. Whenever he did he always felt mingled regret and relief, because as strange and wonderful as it was to experience sight, it was disconcerting as well, and he was not sorry to return to his comfortable realm of darkness. The spell also left him with aching eyes and a dreadful headache, and he sagged against the wagon with fatigue. Guia shook her head, then rubbed against him. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” he nodded wearily. “The day’s events have drained me. It is good we brought the wagon. I don’t know if I could have made it to Jud’ami’s home on my own.”
More stars were appearing in the darkening sky above, and the streets were emptying except for a few stragglers and late-night patrols. Persivian guided the weary horses through the streets with a bowed head, not even bothering to pay attention to the road, instead trusting completely to Guia’s guidance. Even after all these years, she knew the way.
In short order they were clattering up an empty street near the harbor. Tall brick buildings, aged and huddled closely together, lined the street on either side. It was at one such building that Guia sat back, announcing, “We’re here.” Persivian, who had been somewhere between wakefulness and a doze, lifted his head. The smell of salt was stronger here, as this street was only blocks away from the waterfront. Sleepy silence seemed to reign, the quiet of age.
The wizard guided the weary horses to the side of the road, then slowly eased himself out of the bench. “Guia, can you call him?” he asked. “I haven’t the energy.” With a nod the cat sauntered to a short set of steps, leading to a thick wooden door several feet below ground level. It led to the basement level of the old building. Once there, she opened her mouth and yowled. A moment later Persivian heard footsteps slapping up the stairs, and then the door eased open. Out of it stepped a stout black man, somewhat shorter than the blond wizard but wide-shouldered and strong. He wore the loose, airy clothing of a sailor, and a bandana tied over his head like a skull-cap. “Greetings, Guia,” he said in a rich, deep voice. Then the sound of slippers stepping on cobblestones came to Persivian’s ears, and Jud’ami said warmly, “Welcome, Persivian. I knew you’d be coming.”
“Jud’ami, my old friend.” Although in this case, old was a term referring not to age but the length of their friendship. The two had met long ago, perhaps thirty years, when they were both children. Jud’ami had been living a life of hard work and travel on the seas, Persivian journeying south to learn from the High Casters, in the hopes of one day reaching their level of magical prowess. He had been alone when he came to buy passage across the sea to Maylin, but Jud’ami’s father had watched over him as they traveled, and the two boys had become friends easily. It was on this trip that Jud’ami learned that he too held the will to cast magic, and Persivian awoke in him the desire to become a sea wizard, a master of water and wind. Sailing was his livelihood and passion, and these talents had come naturally to him. The two studied together, learning their magicks. They parted ways eventually, but never forgot the bond between them, and they stayed close in each other’s minds and hearts. Jud’ami was always the one Persivian could return to, his closest friend besides Guia.
These memories passed through the wizard’s head in an instant, leaving him with a grateful smile on his face, one that he knew was mirrored on that of his friend. As Jud’ami approached and Persivian smelled the familiar scent of sea brine and silk, he felt the weariness in his heart ease. The two friends embraced.
Looking up at him, Jud’ami shook his head. “I can’t say it’s a surprise you’re here, but I’m glad all the same. Come in, you look exhausted.”
Shaking his head, Persivian argued, “I cannot. The horses must be seen to.”
Eyeing them closely, the sea-man said, “They do look rough around the edges. Don’t worry, I’ll have them stabled in the inn down the street. But first I’ll see to you.” After a few protestations, Persivian allowed himself to be guided down the steps into Jud’ami’s basement apartment. As he came to the bottom of the steps his footsteps were muffled by the thick carpets that covered the floor. The walls were hung with exotic tapestries and sailor’s apparatus, sextants and compasses, a star chart and sea map, gleaming dully in the light of the low fire. The room was comfortable and rich in color, which although he could not see, Persivian sensed all the same.
Jud’ami left him for a moment to take off his boots and settle into a thick armchair. Guia had already curled up on a low cushion next to the fireplace. Then his friend’s slippered footsteps returned from the kitchen, and he pressed a glass of red wine into Persivian’s hand, and laid a bowl of cream before Guia. She purred her approval, and Persivian sipped the warming liquid gratefully. His friend pulled on a surcoat and announced, “I’ll take care of the horses and your wagon, so you needn’t worry, just stay here and rest for a while. There’ll be time for talk when I return.”
“Thank you, Jud’ami. I am grateful.”
After Jud’ami left, the wizard allowed himself to relax, sinking back into the armchair with a grateful moan. He listened serenely to the sound of Guia lapping up the cream, the low crackling of the fire, the steady tinkling of the water clock as it ticked away the time. Swirling the wine in its glass, he listened to it slosh around the sides and admired its rich scent. Taking a sip, he closed his eyes.
Some time later he opened them again and yawned. The fire crackled strongly before him, washing warmth throughout the room. Guia lay curled on his lap, and he could sense Jud’ami’s presence beside him. “Have I been asleep long?”
“Not so long,” his friend replied. “A few hours. I did not wish to wake you, though. Conversation is not so important as rest for a weary traveler.”
“I told him to get you up, but he doesn’t listen to me.”
Smiling, the man continued, “Guia has told me a little of what has happened, but largely she remained quiet. I could stand to wait before, but now the time is ripe to tell.”
Persivian nodded and thought where to begin. Ever since he made the decision to leave the court and its political machinations, letting the just but grisly business of serving the Emperor and aiding the High Casters fall behind him, his life had been peaceful. He had studied his magic in the privacy of the southern forests, aiding people where he could but largely keeping to himself, finding Guia all the company he required. Such has been his life for many years, until rumors, like smoke on the wind, began to find their way to him.
First had been the letter from Lehrar (one of Persivian’s teachers of magic), telling him that a magnificent Golden Star had been erected, seemingly overnight, in the center square of Maylin. Then had come the whisperings of the people living in the area, of how they had heard of the miraculous nature of the Star. After that had been darker rumors - rumors that, though undefined in nature, had left a vague impression of darkness. It was after that that the real push had come. He and Guia had been outside one afternoon, when the cat had raised her eyes and yowled, alerting Persivian to the presence of a comet streaking across the sky. It had been followed by a rook, winging its way north as it cawed. This was an omen, he knew, one of change, and neither Guia nor the wizard would take it lightly. The fact that all this happened within weeks of each other did not escape Persivian, and after some discussion they had determined that it was time to reenter the world. Naturally they had thought to come here to Maylin first, for Persivian had sorely missed his friend and knew that, as a traveling man, Jud’ami would see and hear what others may not. After that they would go the Lerahr to gather more information about the Star.
Persivian gradually became aware that he was speaking, explaining his musings to his attentively listening friend. Jud’ami sat beside him, smoking a pipe and nodding, as the wizard spoke. After this short narrative, he came to the events of that day, meeting with Minaar, then Dolan and his men. He described the battle, and the gruesome fate that had befallen the unfortunate captain. The more he said, the more concerned Jud’ami became; Persivian could sense his discomfiture.
Finally Persivian finished his tale, ending with what they had found in Minaar’s wagon – the gems and the envelope. Then he fell silent, listening to the flames leap in the hearth, absently stroking Guia’s fur. Jud’ami mused quietly, then said, “You said rumors followed the appearance of the Star. What did they say?”
“Just the usual. A plot against the Emperor, betrayal among the nobles, all the common slander. What concerned me was not the presence of rumors, but that these appeared in force not a week after I received word of the Star.”
“So you think that the Golden Star has something to do with it?”
With a shake of the head, Persivian answered, “No, after seeing it I cannot believe it is a work of darkness. It is a pure creation, an inspirer of hope and faith. But I do believe that something dark is surrounding it. I had planned to ask Lehrar about it.”
Silence, then, “You sense a plot the way I sensed your coming. Magic works almost as mysteriously as God,” Jud’ami said sardonically. Staring into the darkness, he spoke again, “As you have mentioned rumors, I feel I ought to tell you that this time they may have bearing.” Turning to look at Persivian, the sea-wizard continued, “You are right. I do hear much when I travel on the sea, and lately it’s not been good. People have spoken of subversion among the nobles of the court, and a plot against our young Emperor.”
“Young?” Persivian repeated, frowning. “The man is at least sixty.”
In his chair, Jud’ami stiffened. The cushions squeaked as he leaned over to Persivian. “No, my friend. The old Emperor took ill shortly after the Star was raised. He is dead.”
“Dead?” he echoed. His pale eyes were shadowed as he murmured, “How could I not have known?”
For the first time in a long while, Guia spoke up. “You feared a plot, Persivian. I think you’ve found one. The only way we would not have known of the Emperor’s demise is if someone hid it from us, especially if it happened a year ago. I fear all these events – the Star, the girl, the spell used against Dolan, and now this – are connected. I can feel it.”
That’s what I was afraid of, Persivian thought grimly. Turning to Jud’ami, he asked, “What of this new Emperor? What is he like?”
“He is a good young man, by all accounts. Honorable, strong, idealistic. He loves his people.”
“Then who would want to take him out?” mused Persivian.
“But that is not all,” his friend continued. “I think Guia is right about Minaar being connected, because I have heard of her as well.” When Persivian turned his sightless eyes on him in consternation, he swiftly continued, “Not specifically, mind you. But I have heard that a strange traveler, a lone woman, has been beset while traveling south, which is unremarkable till you hear that she fought them off and disappeared – apparently, with the help of magic.” Speaking intently now, he continued, “The same brand of magic that is apparent in the Golden Star.”
Shaking her head, Guia said, “This becomes more muddled by the minute.”
“It seems such a small connection, but…” with a sigh, Persivian said, “That is what I suspected as well, and I would be a fool to ignore the instincts all of us share. I must discover whose address that is!” Shaking his head, he muttered, “I don’t even know if this person is the sender or recipient.”
“The sender.”
Jud’ami glanced at the cat. “You are sure? How do you know?”
“Cats work in mysterious ways,” smiled Persivian. Turning to Jud’ami, he said, “Do you – ”
He was interrupted, however, by Guia. She was staring intently at the stairway, her eyes wide, growling softly in the back of her throat. A moment later there was a knock. Jud’ami looked over at his friend. “Who would call so late?” he asked, but neither knew the answer.
The knock came again, more insistent this time. Jud’ami stood. “Be cautious,” warned Persivian, though he did not know why. His friend nodded and climbed the stairs.
Persivian listened as his footsteps rose up, as the door creaked open, as greetings were exchanged. Then an unknown voice asked, “I am looking for Persivian the Sightless, and am told he is a friend of yours. Is he here?”
“Why would you call on him?”
“There is a matter we must discuss.”
As Persivian listened, Guia leapt up to his shoulder. “I can tell Jud’ami what you want him to do. The visitor would not know; I can tell Jud’ami from here and no one would hear it but him.” The wizard nodded, remembering Guia’s limited capacity at sending (the ability to give messages to others, a form of telepathy).
Above them, Jud’ami was stalling. “Which matters, perhaps I can help?”
Meanwhile, Persivian considered. He could easily pretend not to be here, and have Jud’ami send the late-night visitor away. Another option was to have Jud’ami bring him downstairs and disguise himself and Guia in the shadows, gathering what he could from their conversation, choosing when (or if) to reveal himself. Or he could play it straight, admit to his presence and speak to the stranger. Plans rushed through the wizard’s head, options and considerations. He had only to choose.
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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dragon_fire372
Citizen
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Topics: 4
Posts: 258
Location: Montana
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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Finally it's up, and it was more difficult that I had imagined it would be. Very long to, but no matter. Enjoy!
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
Last edited by dragon_fire372 on Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Shady Stoat
Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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Great development, Dragonfire
I'd say go hide in the shadows and choose when and if to reveal yourselves. That way, you're less likely to get any unpleasant surprises
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Smee
Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:10 am Post subject: |
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*rubs hands together*
The plot is beginning to reveal itself.
I also think hiding is the best option here. Events are moving faster than we realise at the moment, and now we are aware of this we need to act cautiously if we are to stand any chance of getting ahead of these unknown plotters.
Plus, if it proves to be a friend then no harm can come from an impressive revealing. Might keep the rumours of mystery about us that much stronger.
Happy Writing.
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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