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Journey to the center of IF- Chapter 15 - The Eye has it!
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:01 am    Post subject: Journey to the center of IF- Chapter 15 - The Eye has it! Reply with quote

Day Zero:
I have made it my mission in life to find out what indeed is at the center of IF. I have always wondered, if not magma, what then? Recently I came upon a list of ingrediants that would be needed if the mission were to be brought to a satisfactory conclusion. It included, but was by no means limited to: Ingro's mallet, Key's leather corset, a horn of Phang from Beyond, a dead Smee hellhound, some nuclear waste, and curiously enough, a few of my toenails. It went on for five pages and then said all of this would have to be assembled within city square by high noon on the fifth day after I managed to acquire the corset. It was by no means easy, but it happened, and the way open was shown as a gaping maw that went on for three-quarters of a mile. I had to fend off the Chinaren lawyer goons with magic and semi-automatic rifles not five seconds after the opening...well...opened. I have posted advertisements and posters around the city, asking for three of my fellow IFians to appear in four day's time near the opening upon the stroke of midnight. All indications point to a very strong magic dampening field not half a mile within the earth, so magic will be useless. I await for their response...I only hope that nobody wishes hard enough in the marketplace for something horrible to happen, as things tend to come true there.

Well? How was it? And more importantly, who wants to join me?
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can I join? it sounds good. If we cant use magic can we use other types of weapons? like swords?
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yup, but remember: YOU'LL have to lug it who knows how far in. The only reason I put in the magic dampening field part was so we couldn't wisk ourselves into the interior. So bring food, water, and anything else you want...but be careful about it.
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK. *thinks of what to bring.* well i'm going to brink my sword of Storm. its the only sword i have that isnt magic. Smile and the shield.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will bring:

twenty pounds of food (meats, cheeses, bread)
ten pounds of water, stored in vials
around 400 arrows
a knife to fletch arrows
feathers for flights on arrow shafts
a longsword for close enemies

and of course, his composite longbow. Yes, I am a ranger.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

why on earth does he need 400 arrows?

and how is he going to carry them all?

a sheath of arrows is just a dozen
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 9:28 pm    Post subject: Me Reply with quote

Me to! I will bring a box of cornflakes, a roll of twine and a screwdriver. (Very useful screwdrivers).

Oh. And a rolled up newspaper.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why bother going yourself? Just send a robot.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah. But can a robot accuretly define the sense of wonder when we reach the center? Can a robot manage to be amazed? A robot is cold, emotionless, and generally there for a purpose. Plus, it thinks logically. It might not get to the center due to logic. We, who are irrational and sporadic thinkers, would find the answer due to there being so many of us thinking in so many ways.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

like thingy majig on IRobot says: "They are just light and clockwork."

lol.

I will bring....

My sword of Storm.
Lots of water and milk. (you need milk. trust me)
My electric pen. (i would be glad for someone else to carry it for me or keep a close eye on me. do not let my thumb touch the button on the top!)
My home made pasta bake. (it fills you up quickly so we wont need much)
And a very thick coat. I can drop it if it gets too warm but i get cold easilly.
Oh yeah. and suntan lotion. we might come across lava.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mmm...Bringers of too much stuff might 'accidently' lose things, you know...
And it seems as though we have too many people! We have Sorrow...Tramp...Lordy...And Doombuggy. I COULD allow extras and just kill them off later... Or mayhap Lordy would like a bit part later? Ah well. All will be revealed tomorrow! Except THAT, you sickos.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

what can we be? do we have to be human?
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm making you be human anyways, the no-magic field, remember?
Right...chapter one!

Day four after the opening...
I had a few replies to my poster. A few too many, I may admit, but I could manage. I decided to bring along a robot and a backup camera, this way the scenes that would unfold before us could be accuretly preserved for all to see. I now refer to the robot for the memories. Then again, that's all I can do, seeing the various injuries that it sustained...


I looked at the incoming IFians. I could see tramp in the distance, coming straight from the dust bin to here. She seemed to be well-equipped and well armed as well. The shield and sword of storm had no magical aura about them, so they would not be harmed due to our descent...
Behind her, I sensed Sorrow, my little brother. Of course, it would be hard to do that any other way, for he was a ranger that liked to blend into the shadows. He had an amazing amount of carrying capacity. I didn't sense any magic about his belongings either.
Behind him there was another man, holding a few meager belongings for his journey. I had the foresight to plan for this, and conjured an extra few packs of meat and foodstuffs and water for him to carry. I had noticed a newspaper and screwdriver among his litany of stuff.
Then there was the Lord of the night. I never did inquire as to the nature of his name. Then again, those that did tended to vanish very quickly. He had changed into a human form for this exploration. I had to conjure another pack from my mansion for him.
Behind me stood the robot, carefully taking in all the data and storing it away. And behind that, the ropes that we would require to descend.
"Fellow Ifians, I trust all is well? Yes, hello storm, please geroff me... Sorrow, I'm glad to see you showed... Um...Hello...I never got your name..."
"Doombuggy," the man said while trying to shoulder his heavy burden.
"Yes, good evening to you as well. Ah, hello Lordy. Glad you showed."
A round of greetings and chatter much like this ensued for a few minutes, then I held my hands up to gain attention.
"Welcome one and all. I'm glad you all could make it to the start of this wonderus expidition. Now, before we start, does anyone have any qualms at all? Because once you go down, I can't gaurentee you'll ever come back up again."
Silence for about a minute while people considered everything and waited for the one coward. There was none.
"Very well then. Robot?"
"YES SIR, HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU?"
"Secure the ropes please."
"YES SIR. GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE."
The robot secured the ropes to a nearby building. Probably the most secure in the city, it had "GvEvM" and "A story of Greed - Mine!" on it. The descent began slowly, hesitantly. We all knew that any mistake could very well be our last...

Day three after the descent...
We have gone along this beautiful cave like any other team of spelunkers. It would seem just like an ordinary trip were it not for the fact that I know this cave has not seen light for at least a thousand years, yet there is even life here. Small, white albino plants that glow to procure their own light for photosynthesis. However, it was only three days after the descent that we ran into trouble...


"Shh, did you hear that?"
That was me whispering frantically to the others. I had heard a noise and wanted to identify it.
The others quickly fell silent, save for a few muttered 'shh' and 'stop poking me' and 'ow'.
I heard it again, but I was not the only one. It was a kind of ZzzzzzT! sound, like something electric had briefly flared up, only to die down again.
While motioning for the others to stay silent and calm, I carefully moved around the next bend. There, I saw a cave filled with wonders and horrors. I signaled to the others to come around and see it.
There was an entire village of people in a small cavern. But these were not people. No people could flit out of existance with that ZzzzzzT! sound, only to reappear moments later and continue on with their lives. It seemed as though I could recognize a few from some distant part of my memory. "Sorrow, Lordy, storm, recognize any of these people?"
They all squinted at the villagers. "Yeah..."Sorrow trailed off, then slowly pointed at one of the people, "That's Detriment, my ranger." There was a ZzzzzzzT! and the ranger vanished
"And that's Alexios," Lordy said frantically while pointing at another. Just as he did so, however, the character made that ZzzzzzzT! sound and vanished. I now had an inkiling as to what this village actually was.
"Guys, shh," I said, while noticing that both Detriment and Alexios had reappeared. "I'll go and introduce myself."
Slowly, I went up to these strange people, noticing them, remembering them, and then seeing them vanish, only to reappear when I wasn't paying attention.
"Um, good people of this village, I, IM, greet you on behalf of the aboveground city of IF."
A man detached himself from the crowd that had suddenly gathered upon my declaration. "You're IM?"
"Um, yes."
"I'm Mack, your man with too many weapons-"
"And not enough temper! I remember-"
But I didn't get to finish the statement, for Mack had vanished with the same sound effect.
"Just what are you people?"
A woman spoke up. "We lead half-lives. We are the people long forgotten from many stories. We long to live aboveground with the real characters in the real stories, but we cannot. The natural magic here sustains us, and should we leave of our own free will, we dissolve in a few seconds. We only wish to leave and live, even if it is in memory. Will you help us?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Already we have found some sort of people! But are they people per se? Do we help them, or do we leave them? Heck, do we even know HOW to help them? Suggestions, questions, rejections, rebellions, and bribes (gleefuly) accepted! Just get on down to the marketplace and bid, bid, BID!
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice chapter IM! Very Happy

WHat could be do to help them? Maybe be should just leave them alone, in the past. I mean, natural selection has ruled them out of things. On the other hand. What can they offer in return? It's not like there is a big rush...




Oh. And get your bloody ropes off my building!! Wink
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, your building was the most secure! Probably still is. After all, you have 8000 Fables, you can afford good construction...
*A crashing noise is heard in the background*
Or you could be cheap and cut corners here and there...
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

8000? its nearly 10,000 now
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, fine...We'll let them be...

Chapter three: The well of dreams
"I am sorry to say that we cannot help you. We must press on. We have a journey to complete, after all."
The woman spoke up again. "Your mere being here has helped us. Please, take word of the Forgotten Village to the above lands when you return."
"I will."
"We can tell you but one thing about the lands further in. The next cave over is known as the well of dreams, we don't know why and the legends are vague. Beyond that, there is some unspeakable horror."
I shuddered at the 'unspeakable' part. "Does that mean you don't know what it is, or that it is so horrible you dare not speak it's name?"
"The legends know and do not say, and thus we do not know."
I turned around to tell the others that we must press on...

Day three after the village.
We continued on our trail, leaving the village far behind. The trail was a long one, but at least there were no holes in the floor. I'll have to talk to the villagers about their definition of 'the next cave over' when all this is said and done. Finally, we came upon a slightly larger cave with pools of water. But this water was no ordinary water...


"IM, look!"
Sorrow nudged me out of my daydreaming. I turned towards where he was pointing.
"Big deal, it's a pool of cave wat-"
At that point, the water glowed with an inner light. Slightly startled, I muttered several oaths and moved closer. I could see that the light was gathering. Then it formed into two dice. I instantly recognized them. "This is what happened to my Chance story! It leaked down here...It was forgotten."
Several other high-pitched squeals broke out. Sorrow had found his Detriment story. And it seems that some of the other, more well known Chat storygames had leaked down here as well.
A squeal broke out, followed by a splash and an "IM, HELP ME!" I turned around and saw Sorrow in the grip of an arm made of water. I recoginzed the pool as his own story. I quickly had to make a decision. Should I help Sorrow or leave him to his fate?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Well, now we face another danger from the depths! The forgotten stories have a mind of their own, and want their authors. Do we help Sorrow or let 'im drown? Suggestions, questions, corrections, rejections, rebellions, and bribes accepted as always. The bribes go to the marketplace though, everything else stays here.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

let him drown - its his own fault for trying to carry 400 arrows and fletching equipment
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lordofthenight wrote:
let him drown - its his own fault for trying to carry 400 arrows and fletching equipment


LOL! I am suprised the arm can even carry him with that lot! Very Happy

Um. We should save him I suppose. He is an EVIL member after all and more importantly we may need more people to fight later on.

It is tempting to leave him though... Laughing
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well.......We could just leave him there. But what would be the point? I mean its not like we have time to sit and watch him, unless we want to be caught by our stories. But if we saved his life it could work to our advantage. He is needed to help on the journey as was mentioned, but also he will then owe us.
(O.K. now maybe i'm thinking too EVIL or too much like an older sister. lol)

And it wouldnt be nice to leave him there.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

what has nicity got to do with anything

we could sit and watch him - it would be fun

and why risk ourselves to save him anyways - the chances of him honouring a debt like that...
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What of your unfinished stories, Lordy? What if they capture you hmmmm?
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, you have some nasties in yours. Glad I didn't come along now. Wouldn't like to meet a load of Bobs down there...
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 5:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

what are you talking about? my unfinished stories are all nice and peaceful

by which i mean to say - you haven't met any of the bad guys in them

and people in blood bowl are really pacifists - honest
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fine then...We'll try to save him.

Chapter four

"Sorrow!" Quickly, I ran forward and grabbed onto his closest arm. Tugging on it alone wasn't doing much good. "Guys, help me!"
With our combined strengths, we managed to pull Sorrow free from the watery grave that was promised by the watery arm. We lay, panting with exaustion. We were still recovering when we heard the robot say "SIR, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT THE REST OF THEM?"
Slowly we got up and looked about us. People were forming from the depths of the pools. I could recognize one of them, and then he split into six. That was my Chance character...The rest didn't seem to be any happier. There was Detriment the Ranger from the Forgotten Village again. This Detriment seemed to be just a little more upset, as he mirrored Sorrow's gear perfectly and was in a stance suggesting that he was prepared to kill us all. Other, more horrific and less-formed characters were pulling themselves out of the pools. And for stories that really didn't have any characters worth sharing, they just formed arms of water.
"Guys, it looks like we have a fight on our hands..."
Sorrow, the caffine-high-strung-junkie that he was, loosed an arrow prematurly. This arrow went right through Detriment and passed out the other side. There was no suggestion of a wound, however, just a little rippling from where the arrow had struck him. It took a few seconds to realize what this meant. These people were made of water. So this was going to be impossible...Unless..."Robot, analsis!"
"CHARACTERS ARE MADE OF LIQUID H2O AND SMALL TRACE AMOUNTS OF IDEARIUM. IDEARIUM SEEMS TO BE BINDING FORCE BEHIND APPERANT LIFE."
"Activate Stupidium!"
"ACTIVATING."
Stupidium is the lesser-known antithesis of Idearium. It looks to be a dull, black rock of obsidian. It completly nullifies its brother, afterwards absorbing it. Every so often, a nugget of Stupidium is found in my Idea Mines, and I save it in a special containment safe made just for that purpose.. Alone, it is not deadly, but put in a wave particle emitter and you have a weapon of IF destruction depending on how much Stupidium you have.
"Everybody, let's try to get out of the cave...now. Robot, activate particle emitter!"
"ACTIVATING IN FIVE SECONDS."
We stumbled out of the soon-to-be empty cave, hoping that we would be going away from all danger. Silly us, we forgot about the Unspeakable Horror part. As we went from one cave to the next, our eyes fell upon...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Upon what, my fellow IFians? WHO (or what) is the Unspeakable Horror? If you really (And I mean REALLY) want to be the unspeakable horror, head down to the marketplace and BID! Otherwise you are free to object, reject, correct, accept, suggest, question, and rebel as always.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well....we are on IF. the scariest thing i can think of is *shivers* chavs, sheep and squawkies!!! or any other sane or so called 'normal' person. or it could be a group of the bad guys in IF stories. Like the Carver, The zombies, The gay rubber ninja, i think theres vampaneese (evil vampires)
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

now now, you can't call the vampanese evil - they're just different.

vampires (and vampanese) are the true rulers of the night, and it is right for them to kill the mortal cattle when they drink from them
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mind Flayers! Devourers! Illithid!!!

Muahahaha! Laughing umm...I'm sure I could take a few down...

400 arrows...Arrows, unless you have a longbow about the size of a yew tree, are generally about half a foot to a foot long, with light feathers and thin shafts. An arrowhead too heavy would overbalance the arrow and send it spinning.

Generally the arrow pierces because the small arrowhead is sharp and because the ranger (or fighter, or whatever, depending. I knew a Sorceress who could get you from half a mile away. But I ramble) has a considerable amount of force behind the string.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about some Bobs? Maybe some undead Bobs, or undead Spider Bobs? Fat Bobs?
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

umm, sorrow - im not quite sure what you're talking about there

most arrows are longer than a foot long. if you tried to fire an arrow half a foot you would get nowhere - it would simply drop off the string

have you ever actually done any archery at all? if so you'll know that to fire a bow properly you pull the bow back as far as you can -which should be to your cheek - and as far back as the arrow is. it should be over the length of your arm - over two foot.

crossbows fire bolts, which are smaller - about a foot.

and cavalry bows also fire smaller arrows than normal - but nowhere near that short
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Archery. Not in a long time, actually.

Now that I think about it, yes. Obviously my sources are faulty. (My sources include the little voices in my head...I'll have to evict them soon.)

Why is it that whene'er I say something, it's always examined closely so that it makes sense?

Honestly, this is the FANTASY genre here. We can do whatever we like, hmm? Confused
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Archery....
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i happen to like archery, thats all
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 5:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like Archery! last time i did it though i put the pad thingy on the wrong part of my arm, when i let go i hurt myself. It really hurts when you do that, but i still carried on.....this time missing the board by far almost every go i had. Very Happy The time before that i was at Coven. It was fun and i got a bulls eye. then they put balloons that we had to try and pop. i missed it by a few mm on my last go.
And vampires dont kill when they drink, if they do they are vampaneese.

Anyway.....We could pay someone who hasnt joined to be the Unspeakable Horror. I'd happily donate some of my money towards the cause.
Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe unspeakable just means it cannot speak?

And it is a horror of course. Perhaps some mutant IF citizen-mixture as per in the Pictures they tried to ban! thread. Some of those look pretty horrific.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great steaming horklumps! I may have to do a melding of ideas here, for I had my own involving Phang, fire, brimstone, sulfer, lava, and doombuggy's horrible demise of falling.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great googly moogly! Inspiration strikes in the unlikliest situations...
Like at school.
So without further ado, I present unto you chapter five!

Chapter five: And into the...Evil?

"Oh gods above, what is all that? It's HORRIBLE!"
That was my scream of terror before the retch. Nearby, I could hear the others following suit, partly because I had started the domino effect, but mostly because of the sight in the pit below. I got up, wiped my eyes, and shook my head to try and clear away the images. It didn't work, because they became only more deeply seared in with each second.
Far below, we could see what was only describable as spawing pits for the worst things imaginable. The first thing and easily the first recognized was the Bobs. Spider Bobs and Snake Bobs patrolling the pits, pushing back unruly people from the edges. Complimenting their ranks were Vampaneze. But this is only the guards. Within the very pits we saw things of nightmares. They were...NORMAL PEOPLE!
Normal people are almost on the verge of having Stupidium within their viens. They discount everything you say as false and impose their own beliefes upon you. They are the scourge of IF. Long ago, there had been a war between IF and the Normal people. The Normals were cast out and banished, told never to return. And now, we had found their spawning grounds.
But there was more for my poor brain to take in...
Back near the far end of the cavern, there a cloning machine. I could see furry little orange Chinaren clones in huge stasis tubes, sleeping peacefully. Oh, how little they knew...There were large white Stoat things with orange heads, and small orange things with white heads operating the machine. The ChinStoat and ShadyRens. We had found them as well, legendary beasts of myth.
Near the center of the cavern was a pool of lava. A small bit near the center had a bridge leading to it, and we got to see the back end of a huge black throne. It was oddly lumped and...NO! This was the throne of children's heads from Chinaren's GvEvM story! Quickly I averted my eyes. Most of the others followed suit, but Doombuggy was doomed. He had never heard of this throne, being as new as he was, and lost his sanity upon sight. He ran around gibbering for one second, and in the next he fell off our small ledge. He fell for what seemed like forever to him, certainly, but when timed, it was only three seconds. He broke through an advertising board that said "Welcome to the Evil cave. We hope you enjoy your death!" After that, it was only a second and a half until he landed on the stalagmites. The nearest Bobs devoured him, and looked up for more food from the sky.
However, at that moment, the Stupidium from the robot in the other cave went off. A small Sloosh noise was heard. Then we had to get out of the way. The Stupidium went blasting out the small entryway and bypassed us, for we had moved five feet to the right. It was, however, not enough to reach the Bobs far below. And then I saw that our little ledge was actually a path down into the spawing pits area. Unfortunatly, the Bobs were using it to get up as well, for they had seen us and wanted to feast upon our flesh.
I was now faced with a choice. We were down one party member, and the Stupidium was used. What could we do?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Egads! Bobs below, and Stupidium radiation behind! Both are likely to kill us. What does the noble party do? Suggestions, questions, corrections, rejections, rebellions, acceptions, and bribes accepted as always. Go to the marketplace for bids though, everything else stays here.
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Last edited by Idea master on Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:07 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i think we should sacrifice someone *cough*sorrow**cough* to the bobs, and then escape while they're feeding

*wow, you really are a whipping boy
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
nobel party
As in the prize? Wink

Quote:
I could see furry little orange Chinaren clones in huge stasis tubes, sleeping peacefully. Oh, how little they knew...There were large white Stoat things with orange heads, and small orange things with white heads operating the machine. The ChinStoat and ShadyRens. We had found them as well, legendary beasts of myth.


ARG! I wondered where my spare cloning machine went!

Now, what to do. Well, I must say, Lords idea seems a good one. Throw on person to the wolves, or in this case, the Bobs.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Egads! Fixed, thanks Chin.
And why do you all want to sacrifice Sorrow?
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WHAT IS THE IFINATOR?
A gigantic floating eyeball.
75%
 75%  [ 3 ]
Some sort of weapon. (Please define)
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
(My addition) A large supercomputer.
25%
 25%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Chinaren, LordoftheNight, tramp in a storm

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