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PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I voted for looking into the aunt. But I hope we will get to know what they find out.

I hate to complain, but I think Dan and Caroline must know something of the previous incidents, which we the readers do not. When the vote was for going over the files on those cases, I thought we would hear what they learned.

For instance: what kind of accidents were they regarded as? Accidental drownings? Poisonings? Falls (indoors or out)? Automobile accidents? Or a variety?
You mention that they were all "prone" - did you mean that, or were some of them supine, or even on their side? If they were all in the same position, is that significant?
Over what period of time have these "accidents" been happening, years or days?
Were the victims of all ages and all walks of life?

Maybe this type of thing has been hinted at, but I'm not so good at subtle, and I feel very much in the dark.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A lot of questions, MG. Very Happy I guess I held too much back when it came to divulging information. I will have to work on that.

I think the one significant evidence we have is the glass, and how our most recent victim, Sandy, died. I shall probably make mention of her a bit more next chapter. I think I mentioned in the first chapter that these cases had been happening over a period of a few months. But they all had that same mysterious outcome thus leaving them as unsolved cases. I think most of the questions you ask now, can easily be answered in the next chapter, MG.

I will try to get you of the dark and into the light. Cool

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't wait!
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*prepares a fishline and a rod to fish MG out of the dark hole* Cool
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Grabs hook and hangs on for dear life*
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think the line is straining. Very Happy Don't worry we will get you out...somehow. Razz
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks like the poll has ended. And the decision has been made to question the dance instructors again, this time focused around the victim Sandy. Look for chapter 3, hopefully by this weekend. I will need to fit this in with a paper, and a viewing of the cherry blossoms in DC.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I definitely don't have the next chapter done yet. I can't promise when it will come up, but I have begun writing it.

Sometime today, I will edit each of the chapters by putting in all the clues found in each of them.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loved the new chapter by the way. Although I missed the poll by a huge margin. Sorry, Ill be more attentive next time round.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank, McDibsky.

Don't have time to post the clues up in each chapter, but I am sure most of you have gleaned them. Smile

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked um...help! MG, I think I'm even deeper down the hole than you are. I can't even find chapter 2! Help Surprised Sad btw, if anyone feels like helping a newbie or giving me a map of the city, much appriciated. Cheers

From what I've picked upo I think... nope, i still can't get a thought to come into my head. They all fear dying of lonlieness for some strange reason. Sad Wall Bash



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um, yeah, welcome to IF, White Blacksmith.

Chapter 2 is somewhere buried in this topic.

Here's the link to it.


Chapter 2
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks raven
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote]The keys are an interesting lead... he found those at the gal's appartment?

[/quote]


Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought he said he got them off the other teachers?!
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nah. He got them from the other two teachers. We will get a better understanding of them next chapter.

BTW, I am putting up the clues that should have been gleaned from each chapter at end of each chapter.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter 3

“You said you interviewed the instructors before,” Caroline questioned Dan as she paced the office.

“Yeah, neither had much to say with the questions I asked them.” Dan snuffed out the finished cigarette in the already full ashtray sitting on his desk. “I have the list of questions I made up for the interviews somewhere.”

Caroline rolled her eyes as she watched Dan shuffle through the pile of papers on his desk. “If you can’t find it, at least tell me, what information you gleaned.”

“I know I had the list on my desk,” Dan mumbled to himself. “Aha! Here it is!” Dan proclaimed with pride. Caroline snatched the wrinkled paper out of her partner’s hand, and squinted her eyes to reach the near illegible scribbling Dan called writing.

“There are no notes on here,” Caroline commented when she finished deciphering the list of questions. “Did you get any responses longer than ‘yes’ or ‘no’ that needed recording?

“In here.” Dan pointed at his head. “I memorized all the answers Señor Malaqués and Madam Dempsey gave me.” He gave a cheeky grin. “I have a very good memory. Like last night I had a savory pork loin, cooked just right with garlic and onions. And as side dishes pan-fried snow peas, and a little green salad with blue cheese dressing. The whole meal totaled $14. 34 at Nan’s Grill Delight on 4th and Hamilton Sts. I could even tell you how many other patrons graced the place when I was there.”

Caroline sighed with frustration, and snapped, “Let me guess, zero, zip, none are the possible answers to the question.
Especially since you were eating at one of the most disgusting places in this town. Nasty greasy food which people should avoid as much as possible.”

“Hey, I like Nan’s. I look for cheap food, I get cheap food. Easily complete in one place.” Dan put his feet up on his desk, despite the mess that had accumulated on it, and leaned back to stretch. “Good food takes perspective.”

Caroline retorted, “So does a murder case. Now stop your defense of the horrid restaurant and recite everything you heard from your first questioning of the teachers. I want to hear it all before we go question them again at 2 this afternoon.”

Dan glanced up at the clock behind Caroline. The hour hand was almost at the big, bold 2, and the minute hand was about to hit the 12. The little second hand was ticking closer, and closer to the minute hand. When the minute hand reached its mark, Dan drew his eyes away from the clock. “Have you checked the time yet, Caroline? It’s 2 o’clock now. If we have to participate in another questioning, we best get going, right?”

“What! It’s already 2? Why didn’t you tell me that half an hour ago? Moreover why didn’t my watch alarm go off to tell me?” Caroline glanced at the slim band on her wrist, and then began to mutter to herself about how stupid she was. “Forgot to move the time an hour forward, what kept me from noticing the time change?”

Just as he was about to step outside the office door, Dan turned to answer her question. But thought better of it, when Caroline gave an icy glare that would have froze hell in seconds if a look could do that. “Don’t even think of telling me, Dan,” she stated as a little emphasis, and shoved past him, her chin high, and her strides long, and even.

“You’re a lucky guy, Detective Howard,” one of the other officers called out as Dan started to follow Caroline. “You have been her partner the longest running. You know she gets the nickname Squid around here due to the fact she has a tendency to squeeze a lot out of her suspects, but I think it’s her partners that suffer more when they have to listen to her tongue.”

“Dan?” Caroline poked her head from around the corner she had just turned into only a moment earlier. “Get the laptop, and the tape recorder….now.” Her orders said and done; Caroline disappeared back around the same corner. Dan traded bewildered looks with the officer he had been talking to before turning back to the office to fetch the requested items.

Señor Malaqués looked to be in his mid-forties, his blonde hair was so light it could have been considered white under the harsh lighting of the room. Through the glass window, Dan saw that the man was fidgeting with his fingers. I thought all professional dancers had an air of calmness around them always.

A door further down the hall shut closed. “There you are, Dan,” Caroline scolded. “It took you long enough to appear. Both instructors are here, so the plan is this. You will question the Señor here a bit, and I will take on the Madam. I already found out she is a spitfire. We will switch after about an hour.”

Dan nodded. “Are there any particular questions you want me to ask?”

Caroline took the tape recorder from Dan. “No, use your imagination. But focus your questions around the victim Sandy. And remember to use the laptop to type all notes. No memorizing. There should be a tape recorder already in that room.” With that, Caroline turned to return to the other room she had left. When she disappeared behind the door, Dan put his back against the wall, and told himself to breathe deeply.

Señor Malaqués looked up from watching his fidgeting fingers when Dan entered the room. The other man wore a light green collared shirt and dark trousers. The instructor had an angular face that gave him a sinister air around him. Cold, emotionless blue eyes watched Dan as he walked toward the table a few feet ahead.

“I am Detective Howard, Mr. Malaqués,” Dan began brusquely as he set up the laptop. “We are going to have a nice chat about a Ms. Sandy Walcombe, the most recent victim of a ring of a murders dealing with broken glass.” Dan moved checked the tape to make sure there was enough film on it, and then placed it in the recorder, which he moved closer to the other man.

“Don’t call me ‘mister,” the dancer answered quietly, but Dan could hear the strong Hispanic accent that accentuated his anger.
“I will call you ‘señor’ if you answer every question I ask you truthfully,” Dan responded, hoping it was a diplomatic offer. “Shall we begin then?” The tape recorder started with a simple push of a button. “How well did you know the deceased Sandy Walcombe, señor?”

“I told you before, I don’t know any girl by that name,” Señor Malaqués answered shortly.

“But surely in between classes, you may have seen a girl of this description?” Dan raised the most recent picture of Sandy that they had obtained from the aunt. He watched as Señor Malaqués eyes widened with shock and took note of the reaction with a quick run over the keyboard. “Jostling your memory, señor?”

Señor Malaqués quickly shoved away his shock, and returned to having his stony expression from before. “She was not a student of mine. I believe she was being trained by the dance studio’s owner, Ms. Roxy. But she had a beautiful figure when I did happen to see her practice upon my arrival at the studio a few minutes before any of my classes. I will admit that she looked to have some promise. A very bonita body, perfect for a dancer. Strong legs, and a wonderful posture.”

“You seem to admire her very much, señor,” Dan commented. “Did you ever see her alone to give her some advice?”

The man shook his head vehemently. “It is a policy of mine not to give advice to someone else’s student. Only confusion would be introduced thus ruining the beauty of the dance.”

“And of course, murder ends that beauty quite promptly,” Dan insinuated carefully. He watched to see his words register in the señor’s mind. Beads of sweat trailed down the man’s brow, and he quickly raised a sleeve to wipe away the little bit of wetness.

“I have nothing to do with her murder,” Señor Malaqués answered sharply. Dan finished typing notes that would he hoped would be suffice should Caroline ever take the opportunity to read them.

Every action and reaction the instructor gave a clue closer to the truth Dan had gleaned from the evidence gathered from the studio. He was quite proud of himself about the possibility he was able to infer from the data forensics had written about in their report. And now, he had the opportunity to find if his assumption was correct.

From the laptop’s carrying case, which was next to him on the table, Dan fished out a worn plastic bag with bobby pins in it. “Then perhaps could you explain to me, why your fingerprints are on these found in the victim’s cubby in the studio? There happens to be one that is bent perfectly, so that it could be used as a lockpick. I guess using the key would make too much noise.”

--------------------------------------------

In the office she shared with Dan, Caroline was looking for a business card. When she had told Dan she had a spitfire for a suspect, she had been lying. A white lie, totally harmless, she assured herself. In truth, Madam Dempsey had never appeared. Caroline hoped to make contact with the missing woman in person. She did not find the card, but something else.

She and Dan had done a background check on the victim’s aunt, Mrs. Walcombe as soon as the woman had left. The woman had been telling the truth about having an older sister, Shirley, who had run away to New York. Apparently, Mrs. Walcombe, formerly known as Ms. Janice Needham had also left home soon after her sister at 16, and eloping with a Mr. James Walcombe, a Target store clerk. During those years before her adoption of Sandy, Mrs. Walcombe and her husband were always changing residences, and jobs due to their credit problems. The two of them were extravagant people, always spending more than they earned. The only times the lady did contact her parents was when she needed a bill to be paid, but other than that, contact between them was pretty nonexistent.

It wasn’t until the adoption of her niece Sandy did Mrs. Walcombe hear anything of her elder sister after nearly five years. Shirley had requested that her parents take up their granddaughter, so that Sandy could be raised in a better and more loving home. At that time, Janice and her husband had caught wind of the news, and were able to somehow persuade her parents that for Sandy’s sake, the child should live with them. Shirley and Janice’s parents died a few years later, and bequeathed all of their money to their granddaughter. Any other information about the subsequent years until the girl’s murder could not be found. Caroline put the folder with all the history of the lady in her bag. Another visit to the woman may help clear the gray area. She would ask one of the other officers to look into the missing Madam Dempsey.

Making sure, Dan was still busy with the Señor, Caroline headed straight out to the main part of the station to ask the officer there if she had heard anything from the lady within the last hour or so. But the woman there was busy talking reassuringly to whoever was on the phone. When she saw Caroline, the woman mouthed, “wait” before she quickly wrote down a few notes more on a sheet of paper, which she handed over to Caroline. Glancing at the paper, Caroline saw that another victim had been found in an abandoned warehouse outside of the town.



A/N:Chapter 3 is COMPLETE! If you have kept with the conversation here, you would have read that the ending of this chapter is shorter and different from what I thought it would come out to be.
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Last edited by Ravenwing on Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:53 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooh, very nice Ravey. Very nice indeed. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it. The only thing I'd quibble about - and it really is a tiny niggle:

Ravenwing wrote:
his enchanting blue eyes


Given that it's a man's observations of another man, it seems a little bit of a girly description. Piercing blue eyes, maybe? Rich blue eyes? Even deep blue eyes if you must... but enchanting just makes it sound like Dan has a crush on the guy Wink
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Dan has a crush on the guy


Shocked
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Dan has a crush on the guy


Well done stoat you've scarred Chinaren for life.

Hey by the way Rave caroline's really bossy, a bit like yourself methinks. Laughing

No but seriously it was a good chapter. Very nice character development.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muaddib wrote:

Well done stoat you've scarred Chinaren for life.



*grins* It's the little things that make life so worthwhile Wink
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Im not complaining, thats one up for the Reds.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, it will take more than a little scarring to keep me down! Wink Not that I am a homophobe.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good story Ravey, get the next part out there.

Now.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
“And of course, murder ends that beauty quite promptly,” Dan insinuates carefully


Very nice opening; our suspect seems to be cracking under the tension this time. I can't wait to see his reaction to this latest piece of evidence.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice bit of suspense there Ravey, good stuff. And so what if Dan *ahem* bats for the other team. Spending any amount of time with Caroline would do that to any man... Wink Razz

Looking forward to the next installment. :biggrin:

*holds breath* Shocked
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm. Never expected this kind of reaction about Dan and dance instructor. I can change it if it is making people uneasy. I just wanted to make statement that even those of the same gender recogize attractiveness in each other, male or female.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As I said, I don't mind it. But you gotta ask yourself, would he really think that about another man? He may reckognise it, but I know I most certainly wouldn't think that if I saw a guy with nice eyes. Smile
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*sighs* I thought I was on a roll when I was writing this at 3 in the morning. Alright, I will change it. The whole eyes thing will go in the part when Caroline interrogates the dude.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't worry Ravey, it was a good chapter! And it wasn't a mistake, just something that didn't translate exactly how you envisoned it. It happens. Stop that sighing! :biggrin:
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I fixed the illogical bit. And changed some parts to make this a bit clearer. I don't when I will get this chapter to where I want it to go, but I will just post parts as I seem fit. Seems like a good idea.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah hell, why not run with it... Dan needs something to remember him by... has there been a "switch hitter" in any serious IF stories yet? I doubt it... You haven't said much about his "love" life so far... perhaps its been shoved in a closet for a reason?

By the way... good chapter so far... you charactarized in the first portion, which was good, then when the interrogation began, the actual case data and dialogue became more of the focus... that was good in my opinion...

My personal feeling on this "senior" at the moment is that he had some fantasy crush on the girl and used one of the pins to pick the lock of her locker to get some personal items of hers for his own twisted amusement later... Don't think he's the killer, but a good question for him would be who HE thinks the killer IS. Also, what is his understanding of the broken glass phenomenon? Did he personally know any of the other victims? etc...

OK, I've said enough... trying hard to shorten my posts lately... Rock On
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, and by the way... good work on establishing the clues at the end of the chapters... just went through and reviewed... it does help...

Unfortunately, it also illuminates all the data that's missing so far... I am curious to know the answers to nearly all of Goose's questions as well... important things to know for sure...

Accidents are a very vague way to die... are we talking about falling accidents, guns accidently going off in purses, walking in front of cars, what? Also... I assume since it seemed inferred from the "hair an inch shorter" comment that all the victims were females... same age roughly?

Even if there is a copycat murderer, that still leaves an original murderer, and the "accidental" deaths all having the same calling card points out that none are accidental at all, so there is one or two murderers running around... or so it would be in the real world... there may indeed be a supernatural element to the whole thing.

A "blow to the head"... what kind of blow... from a bottle, a club, a fist, a baseball bat, a golf ball, her head being pushed into a mirror or something?

The glass... is it stained glass, clear glass, reflective, like mirror glass? Are the shards tiny, or large enough to make out shapes... Maybe they should, if it is possible, try to piece the glass together... might be painstaking but there may be a clue left for them if they piece together the puzzle... literally. I would think it would be very simple to tell if this is, say, glass from a bottle, or glass from a picture frame, or windshield, or whatever... glass retains curvatures if it was rounded when initially formed... I am assuming this was a flat glass pane but I'm wondering what thickness the glass would have been... or is it ground so finely that the glass is almost fiberous at this point?

whew... I think I'm finally out of questions... for now...


Last edited by Ravagerrr on Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So much for shorter posts: Wall Bash
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am afraid this may be coming out to be a very long story...Well it's good to see the questions popping up. Reminds of how many loose ends I need to tie up.

And Rav, this post is shorter than most of the others I have seen you put up. Cool

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ROFL, don't worry about it Rav, it's good to see some good enthusiastic long posts. And it was all helpful, relevant stuff, at least as far as I can tell. I didn't read it all; I mean, phew! Lookit the length! Wink
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well compared to your posts, Soily, it has quite a length. LOL.

Rav asked me when the next part will come up. And I don't know the answer to that is. It's going to be some time, since I seem to have full schedule this month.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah I finally caught up to chapter two and there's a new partial chapter out Shocked

I've enjoyed the first two Rave and will comment more once I've caught up with the third one.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ravenwing wrote:
Well compared to your posts, Soily, it has quite a length. LOL.


I think many of my posts are plenty long! Mayhaps not in this story, but in many others I have relatively long posts, usually. Wink
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Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am proud to anouce that I read all of Rav's post without being driven insane (no comments that I already was insane thank you) even if I didn't take it all in. Any of it.
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*gasp* A twist in fate. With Caroline missing, Dan has to decide what he should now
Follow Caroline's instructions and go to the warehouse
71%
 71%  [ 5 ]
Trace the call himself
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Leave the search for Caroline to others (that would include phone tracing, and other police activities)
28%
 28%  [ 2 ]
Look into Madam Dempsey's absence
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Follow-up on Caroline's suspicion about Mrs. Walcombe
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 7
Who Voted: Chinaren, LordoftheNight, Mother Goose, Shady Stoat, Solomon Birch, The White Blacksmith

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