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Ravenwing
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ingrothechundyer wrote:
Ah I finally caught up to chapter two and there's a new partial chapter out Shocked

I've enjoyed the first two Rave and will comment more once I've caught up with the third one.


Good to see you're here, Ingroth. Very Happy

And Soily, I think I did see one of your longer posts...somewhere. Cool

I think I have Chapter 3 almost done. Amazingly, it did come out to be as long as I expected. Maybe because the characters decided that they didn't want to continue the interviews in one chapter. (if that makes no sense to you, I am sorry. But I can't explain it any better than that)
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

none of it??? Sheesh... why do I even post??? Alright, I suppose I use this place to spit out all my thoughts which are usually too many for anyone to handle, even myself at times, which is why I write the posts of course...

Suprisingly enough, I do try to hold some thoughts back... Surprised
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh, of course I read it and got it Rav, don't be silly! Confused Wink

Looking forward to it Ravey! :biggrin:

*holds breath* Shocked
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice chapter Raven.

Don't have any input on a decision point for this one as I can't figure out what it is (if there is one Wink)
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah I just realized that the DP is not really that obvious, but it is there. I tried to keep this chapter from going on for too long.

I think the DP is supposed to be about what is our next move. Caroline has been told of another victim being found.

-She was initially going to go see Mrs. Walcombe before she found out about this other murder connected to the case.

-She could wait until Dan finishes his interview of Senor Malaques, so she could question the guy with her own questions.

-Or she could just drag Dan away from this interview because the new murder may lead to more discovery.

Whatever makes sense.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just realised I hadn't commented on the second part of the chapter.

I'd wait for the interview to end - pulling him out would make them seem disorganised and as if they don't know what they're doing, but when interegrating someone you want to appear as if you already know all the answers.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good to see your comment, Lordy. I am thinking of not putting up a poll since I have an idea of where I want to go with this. But I think I will await awhile, and stew over the idea.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I agree with Lordy. They should wait until he has finished his interview, and then move on and do the other things. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm how much more time is left in the interview? If there is a good amount of time mabye Caroline should go look at the new body then switch out with Dan when his interview is over.

Dan would then go look a the crimescene and Caroline would get a crack at the Senor.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I think Dan has to prove his hypothesis wrong or not. And that may take a while if he doesn't get an answer soon enough.

But good points. That was what I was actually thinking about doing.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I am going to put up a poll. But I have a feeling I know where most of the votes will be going toward.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*watches for the poll to appear*
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 4:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*sits down next to Ingro to wait, and pokes*
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 4:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*slips on some loose soil, falls over and lands on Ingro, whilst accidentally thwapping Bob*

Careful where you sit guys!
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL. Having fun in this topic?

Okay, your waiting can end. The new poll is up! You have a week to cast your votes. And if you have any other suggestions, just tell me.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And mwhaha - I got there first and I wasn't even waiting.

Voted to go and check out the murder-scene while Dan is busy, and - by being first - I'm winning.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks like even if you didn't make the first vote you would still be winning Cool
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I can't get to the poll at school, cos there's a blockage at the bottom of all the pages, but I'll be able to do it at home today or tomorrow, so I shall return! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

voted! winning! killing Buffy before she gets me! Mad
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whitey, I think you're watching too much TV. Cool
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted and waiting.

Impatiantly. Wink

*holds breath* Shocked
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't even watch Buffy- I just know that enough of my fellow vampires have suffered at her hands! I'm morraly offended. Crying or Very sad
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL.

Soily, have patience, the poll is still open until this Thursday.

Besides I hope I can have chapter up soon after that. The one-acts at my school are opening Thursday, so I have a lot to do before and after that. We will see.

Don't forget to vote, if you haven't done so. Very Happy

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PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So much stuff to do until the end of the school year. Once my APs end, I will start writing. I have been hit with a lot of ideas to start the chapter, so I am thinking I will have the chapter up by next week. *crosses fingers*
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2006 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't feel awful. Most of us are patient; we know May is a busy month, and Soily doesn't really need to breathe anyway.

WRITE!

Ooops, did I shout? Smile
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is finally finished. Chapter 4 has been written for your enjoyment. Cool

Chapter 4

“When Detective Howard finishes his interview, tell him to meet me at the Banard warehouse in the southwest side of town,” Caroline instructed as she handed the officer at the desk a folded note. “I only hope he is able to find the place easily, his sense of direction is worse when his eyes are wide open.”

Since Caroline had decided to investigate the new case that opened by herself, preparation was short and efficient. Her badge was in her pocket, and the Glock 17 she always carried with her rested in its holster at her waist. When she had to wait for Dan on other occasions, efficiency was not even considered. Caroline had always wondered how it was that any case the pair had ever been given was solved. Stepping down on the gas petal, Caroline backed out of the station’s lot, sending dust flying as she took to the road.

--------------------------------------------------

Beads of sweat ran down Señor Malaqués face. From his shirt pocket, he took out a plain white handkerchief that he used to wipe his damp face. He couldn’t keep his hands from shaking though. The handkerchief dropped from his hands as he returned the damp cloth back to its pocket.

Dan watched these little actions carefully and took note of them. The interview was about halfway through if he considered all the little breaks the man took before answering any of the questions. Just watching the dancer’s reaction to the question he just posed made Dan want to run naked around the city block where the police station stood as he screamed about killing penguins with a pink bulldozer. A laugh broke the solemn atmosphere when the image of a dozing, pink bull came into Dan’s mind.

The dancer gave Dan a curious look, but did not speak a word. Gradually, Dan was able to calm himself from the amusing image, and returned to wearing his serious expression. The dancer fidgeted uneasily under the steady gaze, the tapping of his fingers against the table the only sound in the room.

“I am telling the truth. I have nothing to do with the girl’s murder,” Señor Malaqués spoke out urgently.

Dan leaned forward, his chin resting on his clasped hands. “If that is true, then you could easily give me a simple explanation, and then you’re free of this room, and this place. And you could go back to teaching people how to step on their toes with beautiful grace.”

The dancer started, but then fell silent. “One of my students needed some pins, so I decided to borrow some from one of the other girls’ cubbies. Sandy’s just happen to be the only one that had any bobby pins,” the dancer answered carefully.

“And when was all this, señor?” Dan eyed the dancer oddly. He found it interesting that the man did not mention why he did not have the girl go find pins by herself.

“A few weeks ago, I think,” Señor Malaqués mumbled. “I can’t really say, I was so distracted then.”

“Why were you distracted, señor?” Dan paused from his game of Solitaire; he had stopped typing notes a while ago. He glanced at the monitor, he needed a red 6. He clicked on one of the facedown cards, hoping to get him out of the hole he was in.

“Well, there was to be a dance exhibition the following week. But with all the publicity from the girl’s death, we had to cancel the event.” As an afterthought, Señor Malaqués added, “One of my best girls was to perform.”

Dan cursed under his breath. The damn red 6 was not there. He was still stuck. Dan continued to click on the remaining facedown cards to no avail. “I am sorry to hear that something had to be cancelled due to the events so far. What was the girl’s reaction to there being no exhibition.”

“Resentment,” the dancer answered immediately. “Kali always hated to overshadowed by someone else.”

Dan turned away from his game. “Do you think this girl Kali could kill someone?”

The dancer turned away, and stared at the wall behind him. His voice was muffled as he replied. “Girls are impetuous creatures, one can never know what they’re thinking.”

“Were these ever in open competition with each other, would you say?” Dan asked turning the conversation back toward the girls’ rivalry.

The dancer had a thoughtful expression on his face as he pondered the question. “There were a few words passed between them, but I never saw anything physical that could be considered a full-out fight. Now in the back rooms, that is another thing to think about.”

Dan looked at his watch, and saw that the minute hand was at the 9. “A few more questions, señor, then I think we shall be done.” The dancer nodded, and leaned back in his chair. “You mentioned earlier that you went into the deceased’s cubby looking for bobby pins. Why did you not send your student to do this?”

Señor Malaqués turned a little pink before answering. “I wanted Kali to focus on her performance. There was the likelihood that she would meet Sandy in the back room.”

Dan closed the Solitaire game he had just lost. “Would you say that there was rivalry between you, Madam Dempsey and Ms. Roxy when it concerned your best dancers?”

The dancer looked surprised upon hearing the question. “Why, por supuesto! We want all our students to be at the top.”

“But would you be willing to risk your lives for the dancer to reach her full potential? Like killing the rival?” Dan pressed.

The señor paused a moment before answering. “To be at the top, a dancer and her teacher must risk a lot. The dancing world is a vicious place to be in. One does what one must sometimes to maintain their status.”

“But murder?” Dan repeated . “Are you willing to kill someone. That is a big risk.”

Señor Malaqués eyes hardened. “You dare to question the integrity of my students, and me, their teacher? If that is to be all, I will take my leave now.” And with that he stood from his chair, opened the door once he reached it, and walked out.

Dan did nothing to stop the man. There was nothing he would have done. He knew his questions were offensive and inquisitive, but such was the way of a detective: Always questioning about people’s lives, and always wanting to have a truthful answer. Closing the laptop’s monitor, Dan left the confined space, and knocked on the door he saw Caroline enter before the interview began. Hearing no response from within, he turned the knob,
and peeked in, and then quietly closed the door soon after.

“Have you seen Detective Osherow recently?” Dan asked as he drew near the front desk.

The officer looked up, and silently handed him a folded slip of paper, and returned to her work. Dan squinted as he tried to read Caroline’s chicken scratch-like handwriting. “Did she leave any other messages for me?” Dan questioned the officer once he finished interpreting the cryptic message his partner left for him.

“Just to meet her at the Banard warehouse on the southwest side of town,” the officer responded promptly. “Oh and not to get lost. She said that you’re blind when your eyes are open.”

Dan winced upon hearing Caroline’s comment. It wasn’t his fault that he had no sense of direction. It was in his genes. “Do you know if the detective is carrying her cell phone with her?”

The woman shook her head. “I do not know, sir. I didn’t notice if she was.” Thanking the woman for her help, Dan returned to the office. Like Caroline before, he placed his Glock 17 in its hip holster. But unlike Caroline, it took him a while to locate his gun. The same went for his official-looking badge, which somehow had some kind of dirt smudge on it probably from an earlier shuffle with a suspect.

He tried ringing Caroline’s cell phone several times while in the office. After several tries, he figured out that he wasn’t imagining the Pinky and the Brain theme song, and that it was actually coming from the little cell phone sitting on the chair. Pocketing his own phone, Dan prepared to leave.

But before he even took a step out of the office, the opening bars of Pinky and the Brain began to play. Tentatively, he flipped open the pink phone, which he had given to Caroline as a gift. Despite her dislike for pink, she had never thrown it out or at him.

“Hello?” Dan held the phone to his ear. “Hello? Who’s calling?” The silence on the other end was beginning to make the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. In the background he heard the sound of feet shuffling.

“If you want to see your partner again, get off this case immediately,” a deep voice demanded shortly, and then abruptly hung up. Dan stared at the phone for a moment and then tried redialing the number that just called, but he didn’t get anything.

Rushing out of the office, he stopped at the desk of one of the operators. “A call just came through from 571-790-9645. Could you trace its source for me?”

“I can try, but I am not sure whether or not something useful come up. If the call has been disconnected, not much can be done, detective,” the woman replied. “I will see what I can do.” The woman tried reestablishing the connection with the number Dan gave her, but there were too many busy signals to allow for a steady connection. “I am sorry, detective, but I am unable to trace the number.”

Dan thanked the lady for her help, and returned to the office; his steps were slow, and steady as he thought over his next plan of action. He unfolded the note Caroline had left him, and re-read the words on the paper.

Dan,
Should I not return upon you finishing your interview, meet me at the Banard warehouse southwest of here. The directions are further down this page. Don’t get lost!
~Caroline
P.S. Madam Dempsey is missing. Also there is strong evidence against Mrs. Walcombe if you do take the time to read the files on her.


Well? What do you think? Was it worth the wait?
We have a lot of evidence, a lot of suppositions, but not much else. Dan needs to make some choices now as to what to do. You, gentle reader, have much thinking to do.

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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think he has to go save her - or at least try. Otherwise he'll never get her back (no matter what they say, we all know she'll never be returned).

I think he should follow her instructions, and go to the warehouse, but maybe get back-up before going there or something.
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good chapter!

A very quick thought - the phone company can easily tell whose name is on the bill for any phone number and I think they would do so for the police. Of course, it might just be a pay phone on the street but even that would give a location. Knowing where the call came from would help, I think.

I'll think more and get back when I have another idea.
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not necessarily - it might have been re-routed through Philidelphia or something.

Yeah - I saw that on Phone Booth. Good film.
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 7:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I knew her going off on her own was a bad idea. Now he should be attempting to rescue her of course... investigate the warehouse, but yeah... call for backup... officer down type of call...
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 10:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We have no evidence that Caroline is down. Get the desk-police to start chasing up leads on the phonecall, by all means - but I think we should go to the place where she told us to meet her.

If she's not there, then we can at least look for clues on location, while the other officers play around with giving us a direction to hunt in Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finally! Wink Good chapter Rave. Very Happy

I agree that he should try and trace the call, and I'm sure they could do that, especially if there's an officer in danger. The FBI could even get involved. I'm sure a missing officer is an important.

And then he should go and investigate the warehouse, see if there are any 'clues'. :biggrin:

*holds breath* Shocked
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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2006 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL. I got the idea of tracing calls from the play I took part in last month, called "Sorry, Wrong Number"

The tracing idea theme procedure I determined was that the call had to be a live one, if it was to be traced. But like you guys have said with technology these days, something more can be done.

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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2006 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I were him I would call back up but do a crazy man run to the warehouse, and all just to find the woman he loves.


LOL Razz
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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice chapter - it is clear we can't risk anything happening to Mrs. Detective [I can't remember her name :'( !] so I think we should try to find the guy, whilst steering clear of the case. When she is returned, we take it up again with a vengence. Now is not the time for TV cop heroics.
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PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The White Blacksmith wrote:
If I were him I would call back up but do a crazy man run to the warehouse, and all just to find the woman he loves.


LOL Razz


Isn't someone the romantic? LOL. Sorry Whitey, there is no romance in this story.

I will put a poll up later today for 5 or 6 days. I am gonna be away in Mexico during those days.l

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I was really stupid, and forgot to ask Shady to delete the earlier poll before I left for Mexico. And now I have just recently returned. So, once the old poll is down, the Chapter 4 poll should be coming up soon enough. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So how was mexico?

*dances the tango with those clicky things you hold*
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mexico was great, the water was great. It was just burning hot in the afternoons. But of course the beaches were the best part since I was just outside Cancun. And tangos are done in Argentina by the way.

Okay I have put the poll up from the suggestions given, and a few of my own just in case. If have forgotten any choices, tell me. The poll will be open until Friday, thats 4 days.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We don't really know Caroline is missing. There was no proof in the phone call. Maybe she's there waiting for us.

And if something did happen to her, following to the warehouse might be a good way to find out what she found. The other things would be good to do too, but getting to the scene of her disappearance is most pressing.
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*gasp* A twist in fate. With Caroline missing, Dan has to decide what he should now
Follow Caroline's instructions and go to the warehouse
71%
 71%  [ 5 ]
Trace the call himself
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Leave the search for Caroline to others (that would include phone tracing, and other police activities)
28%
 28%  [ 2 ]
Look into Madam Dempsey's absence
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Follow-up on Caroline's suspicion about Mrs. Walcombe
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 7
Who Voted: Chinaren, LordoftheNight, Mother Goose, Shady Stoat, Solomon Birch, The White Blacksmith

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