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Linear Story Comp for August

 
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Smee
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 10:18 am    Post subject: Linear Story Comp for August Reply with quote

Welcome to the August 2006 Linear Story Competition!

You will have three weeks to write a short story, edit it, and post it for consideration. Post entries on or before August 21st. Polling begins August 24th and ends August 31st.

Proof readers will take your story, break it down, make sure it fits the word limit, and confirm that grammar, spelling, plot, character development, etc. are all present and correct.

You can make changes to your story all the way up to the final posting date. After that, the stories that have not passed the critique will be disqualified. Those that are left will be put up for a vote for anyone to vote on.

If you win, you get to brag for a whole month, have your story immortalized in the City Auditorium, and earn a Fable reward in recognition from our Mayor.

This will be run like a professional writing contest. Your story will be edited, picked apart, and thoroughly looked at. If you exceed more than ten spelling or grammar errors, your story will be given back to you to rewrite. So check your work.

If your work goes over the word limit it will be given back to shorten. If it remains the same length it will be disqualified.

If your story does not follow the topic and genre, it will be given back to you to rewrite.

Things that must be right vs. artistic freedom- There are things like plot, and flow that might be your intent. That is totally cool. A proof reader might suggest that you pick up the pace or add more detail here and there. That is your choice to do or not. If you feel the story can stand on its own without change that is fine. Spelling, grammar, genre, word count, etc. are expected to be correct, no exceptions.

If you are proofreading- Look for spelling and grammar mistakes first. Word count comes next. Then answer the following questions for the story.

Did it stay within the genre?
Did it follow the topic?
Did it have a beginning, middle, and an end?

After you have done this feel free to comment on the story as you see fit. Bear in mind that anything beyond what is listed above is pretty much considered opinion. This can be taken or left by the author.

And now, the details of this month's competition:

The Length: 2000 words or less
The Genre: Any
The Title: The Lost Monarch

What can you do with just a title? Let the idearium flow. Razz


We've had great participation the last 2 months. Let's keep it up Good luck everyone, and have fun Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No words that have to be used this time hmm? Interesting.
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, no one really liked my entry last time so Im staying out this time-Im not good with word limits, and if people count my words it irritates me because I like to just be able to end it when I end it-although my writing is usually short. I have enough trouble writing without having to add things in to make it longer or take things out to make it shorter Wink . But I would be willing to spell-check. And I could try to grammar check.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 5:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Author's note: Ok I've got my entry in v.early this time Smile ... you may have to read through it twice though, in order to get the full perspective on the story ( Wink winks mysteriously).

Oh and also it has some slightly disturbing imagery at one point Surprised - just as a warning.


The Advisor's Diary

35th of Springtide

It is but five days until the first day of Summervale, the start of the warmest season of the year. The first day of Summervale should also herald in the day that my sixteen year old protégée, King Stephen II, finally takes full command of the Kingdom of Mortania.

Mortania is a small Kingdom buried deep within the Alpenen Mountains, surrounded by the larger Kingdoms of Brossia and Talem. Many of the locals have been preparing a great celebration, in honour of the day that Stephen officially takes complete charge of the throne. Speakers have toured the country, stirring up support for the King, building him up as the one who will make Mortania the great nation state that it used to be - before the War of the Mountains two hundred years past. Indeed the sky blue flag of Mortania is already flying from many of Ronia’s rustic houses and shops outside the white stone castle and an air of festivity swirls through the streets.


The castle is a huge expansive work of architectural genius. The rear of it overlooks a sparkling, tranquil lake known locally as the Lake of Peace. Within the castle many secret escape routes have been provided for the King, so many have been added in fact, that most people don't know even half of them, despite having worked in the castle for years. Here in the expansive inner rooms of the castle, the official coronation of the future King will take place amidst much festivity. Already a giant painting of Stephen, in full royal garb, has been put up in the main hall. His tufted brown hair sticking out from the diamond crown, his pale blue eyes failing to disguise the nervousness he felt at the time and still feels.

This is because there are many who do not feel that having King Stephen II in charge of our country would be in any way beneficial, there is much unrest in the air. In particular, the chief diplomat for our country, Renanen, who feels that Stephen’s immaturity could lead to Mortania being mercilessly bullied by the imperious rulers of both Brossia and Talem. In addition to him is the slick Duke of Merl, who has a tenuous link to the throne, as the cousin of Stephen’s father, and who feels that he could do a much better job in charge. These two men do concern me, they are very dangerous players in the game of Kingdom politics indeed.

38th of Springtide

Have just finished a long session talking privately with Stephen, giving him my advice on what he should do over the next few days. He seemed to take on board all my advice with remarkable calm, although I did notice his right hand was shaking at times. He is clearly worried about the threat posed to him by the Duke of Merl. I’ve reassured him that I can handle both the Duke and Renanen, that I won’t allow them to take the throne from him.

Privately I’m still worried that that slimy creep of a Duke will team up with Renanen and make a bid for the throne…I will have to prepare to meet such a threat to our Kingdom. I’m too tired to write any more just now, have spent all day preparing for this coronation and it’s still on my mind, what if something goes wrong?

40th of Springtide

Chaos, absolute chaos. It seems as though our monarch has simply vanished into thin air. I was out of the castle at the time, many miles away in the town of Vermond in fact, giving a rousing speech to the locals on our current King. Telling them how he was destined to keep our country stable and prosperous. Therefore I can only report the facts that I received from several of the Castle guards.

It appears that the young King had been carelessly left alone in the castle with both the Duke and Renanen on the premises, both of whom can give no justifiable account of their movements about the grounds. The Duke claims that he was reading in his room. Renanen says that he was in his study drawing up plans for the coronation. Their claims are treated with the due scepticism that they deserve, however no-one can prove that they left their rooms and kidknapped the King. Stephen himself was not seen to leave the building by any conventional exit.

Knowing that the castle is riddled with passages and tunnels, I suggested that everyone should search over the castle throughout the night. 'Perhaps', I suggested, 'he’s only playing hide and seek'. This explanation sounded weak, uttered with little conviction. I know the young King would never pull a stunt like this.

1st of Summervale
Morning


Still no sign of Stephen, the Coronation is in danger of postponement. We have however made a breakthrough, a scrap of red robe has been found snagged at the entrance to a hidden tunnel, in a passage adjacent to the Kings throne room. The tunnel leads out onto a dusty dry track - a mile outside of Ronia. Next to the road is a densely packed forest, it hasn’t rained for days so there are no tracks. I suggested to the guards that they search the forest immediately for any signs of the lost ruler. Others within the palace are carefully examining the scrap of robe - trying to work out where it has come from. I now have some work to do in the small village of Tyre, but should be back at Ronia Castle by early evening.

Evening

Having completed the unfinished work that I had hanging over me at Tyre, I returned to find the Castle in uproar. Not only had the scrap of robe been found to belong to one of the Duke of Merl’s garments, but upon searching his quarters a treaty of allegiance with Renanen, to do away with Stephen and put the Duke on the throne, was found. Both vehemently deny the charges of treason and refuse to give out the lost monarchs location. They continue to claim the document was forged…no-one in their right mind will believe that that deceitful pair are telling the truth though. It’s been a long day...and too many unpleasant thoughts are swirling through my mind. I need to rest and clear my head.

2nd of Summervale

It is now widely accepted across the state that the Duke and Renanen are guilty of high treason and of almost certainly killing King Stephen II. Both are still being pressurised to tell what they have done with him, their screams echoing about the castle as the loyal guards of the King gain their retribution for his loss.

9th of Summervale

It now seems almost certain that Stephen is dead, most people in and out of the Castle are trying to come to terms with the fact. No longer do flags fly from the houses, people instead walk the streets dressed in black - grieving the loss of a King who had been painted as the nations future saviour. A funeral service is due to be held in a week for him. Incredibly it appears that in the absence of anyone else, I will now be made King of the land shortly afterwards. Renanen and the Duke are due to be executed the day before Stephen’s funeral - many are expected to turn up and heckle the pair before their necks are severed.






16th of Summervale

The two accused of the crime were put to death yesterday. Both protesting their innocence to the last, but both taking their execution with brave faces and a noble silence, despite the jeering crowds and rotten food thrown in their direction. I can still see the rusty iron blade falling, first taking the thin black haired head of the Duke and then the more chubby, brown haired Renanen. There was much applause and cheering within the streets throughout the day as the crowds thought they saw justice done.

A touching ceremony at the large cathedral, that sits just down the road from the castle, was held today. Many thousands turned up to mourn the lost monarch, whose body still remains hidden from almost all. I closed the funeral with a touching speech on the King’s great qualities, closing with “his only crime was that he trusted too much in the goodness of human nature.”





Epilogue

As I sit here on my death bed, childless and ready to die, I am full of regrets for my actions past. Being a King and having all the power is a job that in the end, I found far too demanding. Our Kingdom lies in ruins - partly my fault and partly the fault of the weather which has dried up the valleys and ravaged the land. Now I care not if the truth is known of what befell King Stephen II for I have nothing left to live for, my reputation is already less than worthless with the people.

I had meticulously planned the downfall of Stephen and the Duke for many months, before I actually carried it out. It was I who instructed Stephen to run away, convincing him that his life was in grave danger from the Duke, that was on the 38th day of Springtide. It was I who arranged for a loyal friend of mine to drive a carriage to pick up the King and take him to a wooden hut, hidden away in a wood on the outskirts of Tyre - whilst I was miles away in Vermond. Later I returned to the hut and swiftly despatched my friend and Stephen with two sharp sweeps of a knife, burning their bodies on an outdoor bonfire and using a grinder that I had placed in the garden some months before to crush what was left. Gathering the minute fragments of both, I tossed them into a nearby stream, which carried them away with a gentle gurgling sound. The horrible images of what I did that day troubled me for several nights and have returned in my old age to haunt me once again.

Needless to say that I had cut a piece of the Duke’s robe off weeks earlier and feeling uneasy about Renanen’s aspirations of power, quickly managed to forge the document that sentenced both of them to the guillotine.

The idea to write the events into a diary occured to me a few weeks before the plan, firstly so that I had a written account of my doings that appeared to clear me (unless one knew the truth) and because I was conceited enough to see if I could produce an account that was both truthful, yet deceitful at the same time. In the end though I never had to show the diary and never did...that is until now.

Why did I do what I did…because I wanted power, obviously, the desire for power lurks within every man. Also though, I knew better than anyone else that Stephen wasn’t ready for the burden of full Kingship, he was just a weak and reckless kid...I couldn’t stand by and let that happen…just as I couldn’t bear to see that sly cousin of his or that conceited politician take the throne. Perhaps I should have let them, or Stephen, take the throne and suffer the disgrace that would have almost certainly befallen them. In hindsight things are always so much clearer. Now though, I am old and frail...I only wish for a dreamless sleep…



Last edited by JezSharp on Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:29 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right, here's my entry. Enjoy.
----------------------------

The Star Lord

Selinnora basked in the moonlight, gathering her strength for the task ahead. Tonight was the night he would ascend from the depths and take his crown. Tonight he would shake off the cobwebs of un-reality that had kept him hostage for six long centuries. His chains would crumble, leaving him free in his prison, ready to bridge the gap between worlds...and to do that he would need her help.

Moonlight painted her white scales in blue silver hues, glimmering along the surface of her Soulstone. She could still remember the confusion and chaos that had ruled those dark days. Once the assembled Kin had discovered the Heir had vanished each was quick to assert their claim to the title of Dragon Lord.

Some had been more willing to back the claims of others, or assert the claims of others. She gently touched the scar that ran over her right eye...she'd nearly lost so much...and yet she managed to evade the fate others had planned, managed to set in place the spell that would bring balance back to the Kin.

A hum began to circle her, the sign she'd been waiting for, the call sent out by her companion Destrymus. He'd been the only one willing to listen to her when she'd fled, the only one who'd seen the truth plainly, that to take up the crown of Dragon Lord would have deprived Selinnora of a great gift...her Sight.

Sight, the ability to see the future exactly as it will happen, the ability to see the intentions of those around you, to see the spirits who's world overlays that of mortals. Selinnora had known long before the Heir had been lost it would happen, known after he vanished that he still lived.

Now she spred her wings and whisked off into the night, seeking Destrymus and that which had remained hidden for far too long. She found him where they had last met, a sheer cliff that gave way to the forest at its base. "I did not think you heard me." She shook her head.

"Even had I not I would have come. I have much at stake this night as do you, as do all the Kin. Should we fail..." She looked bleakly into the night. Destrymus clenched a massive fist, looking as mighty as the night he had sought her out, with his foolish plan to restore the rightful Heir to his place in things.

He looked at her one last time, Black Champion to Seeress. "Start the spell, should any seek to disrupt your work they shall have to come through me." Another moment passed between them, this time the moment of two old friends who might not see each other again once the task was complete. "For all our sakes Selinnora, you must not fail."

Her scales seemed steely as she stood, tail lashing, wings wide to the night. " I shall not. Try to remain long enough to witness his return Destrymus." The black dragon dug his talons in the rock, spines vanishing into the starry skies, making him seem one with the night.

"Count on it m'lady." With that the dragons took to the air, each their respective tasks to fullfill. Searching deep in her soul, Selinnora called forth the powers that pre-dated the dawn of time. She implored them to open the rift one last time, to allow that which had been imprisoned to be set free, to allow her song to reach the captive held within.

An aroura split the sky, painting the night in a silken dance of colors, and through it all Selinnora flew, a brilliant white light growing ever brighter. Through pink and green, through orange and red, through blues and yellows, through the very rift of the world and into the place where the air tore under her wings, to brittle and cold for her to draw breath. There she extended her hand to something held beyond the stars.

And he answered. Uncoiling himself from the restless sleep that had been his only enjoyment for the past six hundred years Ancalidor, Heir long lost, rose from his crumbling chains. His long dormant power, brooding, biding, growing ever larger from long disuse, flooded into Selinnora's weakening reserves, bridging the gap and allowing the long lost Heir to burst through the Barrier between worlds like wet silk before the blade of a sword.

For a moment she regarded him in weary formality. "Hail Dragon Lord. May your reign be never ending, may your blood be ever strong and vital, be you wealth infinite, and may your enemies be as ants before the dragon." Lending her a silver blue wing he gave her a formal smile.

"Hail Seeress of Sorcery. May your Sight be unclouded, your Visions bright and clear, and your Wisdom all encompassing."

"We must aid Destrymus. I sense he is in grave danger." The two of them swooped through the fading aroura, pulling themselves free of the rift as it closed behind them with a boom like thunder. Below them, painted as dark shadows in the waining moonlight, seven shapes warred for control of the lower skies.

Like bolts of iced light, blades of bespelled cold, they drove into the fray, slashing and snapping, twin furies. Destrymus rose between them a dark shadow, guarding Selinnora like a glass-spun snowflake, preventing any enemy from taking advantage of her fatigue. Ancalidor roared his challenge across the war filled night. "Fools! You dare think to stand against the fury of the Dragon Lord!"

A silence came over their foes, a stillness as their failure was realized. One by one heads dropped in submission, pacts of alligence and loyalty springing to their lips as, enmass they recognized their lost monarch. Etched against the stars Ancalidor roared again, a cry that reached the ears of every dragon, binding them or breaking them in that moment.



As Destrymus helped her to the ground a smile stole onto Selinnora's face. She stared into the sky, at the dragon who still flew against the stars, with pride. "Welcome home Brother."
------------------------

Hope you like.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked Is that it then...just the two stories this month... Sad . Do either need any proof reading ...or are they both fine going straight to the polls...?
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seems that way - I haven't read them yet - I'll try to do so and get the poll up tomorrow. Smile
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This may be close to the limit, I haven't had chance to count it.

The Lost Monarch.

The sentinel rushed out of the palace. "Have you seen the king?" He asked the butler. "The Queen is looking for him, and I can't find him anywhere!"

"Fear not," said the butler. "I think he is using the royal commode." He gestured at the doorway.

The sentinel walked over and tapped upon it. "Your highness? Are you in there?"

"I am," came the royal voice.

"Ah, what a relief! We thought we had lost you!"

The End.
A short short by Chinaren.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 12:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 3:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*grins* What an effort China! Must have been hard! Wink
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, it falls within all the linear comp rules!

Anyway, it's quality, not quantity. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Anyway, it's quality, not quantity.
Laughing ...it's all gone very quiet again here...is the poll going up soon...?
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

technically if you used pictures in this competition you lost. Pictures say a thousand words and the limit is two thousand...? Does anyone think the same way as me. Doubt it.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pictures count for one thousand words???!!! Where did you get that Confused.
Oh well, if you disqualified everyone who used pictures then China's will have to win Confused. As there will only be one in the comp.
Oh well. I don't think the same on that one, unless I'm overuled by a majority vote...

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Oh well, if you disqualified everyone who used pictures then China's will have to win . As there will only be one in the comp.


Excellent idea! Wink
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right in relation to:

Quote:
Pictures say a thousand words and the limit is two thousand...? Does anyone think the same way as me. Doubt it.


There are some good reasons why people may 'doubt' this idea :twisted: .

Firstly I think saying a picture is like a thousand words would be far more accurate than saying it is a thousand words (which it clearly is not). Therefore a picture shares certain qualities of a thousand words (as a man who runs like a a demented hare shares certain qualities of a demented hare but obviously isn't a demented hare) but cannot be substituted for a thousand words as the two are actually fundementally different (althougth they do share certain characteristics) - words appeal to the imagination whilst pictures to the imagery part of the brain for starters.

Secondly to pick a figure of one thousand out of the air is completely random and fundementally flawed. Words do indeed paint a picture, but the number of words needed to paint any one particular picture can vary greatly depending on the author, the picture , the genre, the persective of the writer etc. An extreme example would be a picture that was totally black - described in a story as the 'black void'. Here a picture is really only the equivalent of a couple of words - take those words out for the picture and you would in essence have the same effect. Trying to set a rigid number of words for every picture is ludicrous, not least because the two are incompatible anyway - in one sense words can never fully describe a picture and a picture can never fully encapture the imagerationary effect of words.

Thirdly pictures are more of an aide to a story althougth they do perhaps inadvertently give a story some extra detail from the detail already given in the text, but that in one sense isn't there primary function. Their primary function is to increase the ethereal quality of the work, to make it more readable and therefore increase the viewers enjoyment. Certainly they are a great improvement to many sg's and linear stories on this site as web reading is far harder than reading from a book in terms of concentration. Penalising authors who had made an effort to improve the presentational side of their work would be tantamount to insanity.

So in summary trying to give pictures some sort of fixed or fluctuating word count would be i) inpractical, ii) insensitive to the viewing public and iii) impossible due to their incompatibility.

Sorry if I'm sounding kind of fierce Smile , I felt kinda annoyed at the idea (probably more so as my story has pictures but I would still have been sceptical about the idea anyway) and felt a compulsion to hone my arguing skills... and I can't pretend that I didn't enjoy writing all of the above - it's certainly relieved my initial irritation with the comment Very Happy Laughing.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think anyone was taking it seriously Jez! I certainly wasn't.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wink I didn't think so, but felt like arguing the point anyway Smile .
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vast apologies for the delay. Poll is up. Very Happy

To make it fair - give it until the 4th Sept for voting

Happy Voting Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, since there is a distinct lack of linear stories in this months competition, I have read through and decided that I actually, honestly, and with no sibling favouritism, like Jez's best.
Am I allowed to vote Confused.

Solus.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*grins* Yes
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well given the small number of sg's I'm going to abstain from voting this time round.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lets hurry up to the next comp. I'm eager to submit a story! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yey Very Happy , I won Shocked ...at least I think I have Very Happy Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes indeed you did.

Apologies - completely lost the plot with this one this month.

So I hand it over into Jez's capable hands.


Well done Jez Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats Jez!

I can't believe no one* voted for mine! Shocked Or can I? Wink


*Even me.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 12:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Thanks Smee and China Very Happy

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I can't believe no one* voted for mine! Or can I?


Laughing well it was an entertaining entry - and it managed a third place finish despite being under a hundred words long Smile
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 2:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Joint second actually - even better. I would have voted for you C'ren*, but I completely forgot about the topic and everything.

*This may be a lie.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I voted for you. You're second place!
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 10:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A bit late don't you think?
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There there Chinaren, I voted for you too.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm ready to get back into things! When do we start the next one? Smile

I've got a few minutes in between deliveries. Just enough time for a smoke, a pee, and a 1200 word story.
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Who walks away with the Lienar Comp Belt this month
The Advisor's Diary by Jez
55%
 55%  [ 5 ]
The Star Lord by Kalanna
11%
 11%  [ 1 ]
The Lost Monarch by Chinaren
33%
 33%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 9
Who Voted: Chinaren, D-Lotus, ethereal_fauna, LordoftheNight, Shady Stoat, Smee

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