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Chinaren
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 Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:12 am Post subject: And Your Little Dog Too. 5. Was it good for you? |
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When Mrs. Merkins and her postman simultaneously disappear (leaving Mr. Merkins desolate), three local children (and their trusty dog) suspect foul play. Have the two adults been crated up and sold into white slavery? Have they been abducted by aliens? Enter 'The Three Pesky Kids' (and their little dog too) to investigate the true facts of the matter
Dire warning!!
Whilst this should contain humor, (well, I haven’t written it yet), it will, in all likelihood contain ADULT situations, depending upon how much I get carried away. So, if you are under whatever age you need to be, then please read no further.
I still think we need a hidden forum for this sort of thing. Anyway…
IT’S RED HOT H&E! (Hot and Erotic*) Storytime.
And Your Little Dog Too.
Chapter 1. Oooh baby, rub it harder**.
“Another special package my dear? Please remember we are trying to save up for that geology caravanning holiday. We wouldn’t want to miss that now would we?” Mr. Merkins peered at his young wife over his half-moon glasses as she read the notice that had been posted through the door.
“Oh yes. How could I forget, it’s the highlight of my year my dear,” Deloris Merkin replied. She put the paper down and applied another coat of pink lipstick ,as Malcolm Merkin sipped at his morning tea and read the Ornithologists guide for Dummies.
“Very good my sweet, oh my goodness me. Look at the time. I will be late for the council meeting.” Malcolm quickly stood up and retrieved his raincoat, though it surely didn’t look like rain. “You can never be too careful, it is sunny now, but who knows?” he said to his wife, as she raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Make sure Frederick is not late for school, now I really must go” he blew a kiss and, pausing only to make sure his comb-over was slicked down, dashed out of the door.
“Goodbye,” she said quietly to the door, and then stood up and pulled her mini-skirt straight as her step son slumped down the stairs.
“Hello dear,” she said. “Make sure you eat something before you go to school. Mummy has to go out now.” Despite a mere 11 year age gap Deloris couldn’t help but feel motherly, or what she assumed was motherly anyway, towards Fred.
Fred didn’t share the same feelings, and had definitely UN son-like thoughts towards her, to the extent of trying to setup a webcam in the shower, which he hadn’t managed to get working yet.
“You going out again?” he said, eyeing her attire.
“Yes. Now, you be a good boy and don’t forget to lock the door when you go out.” Deloris leaned over, giving Fred a lipstick covered kiss on his forehead and, incidentally, a damn good view down her top, and then rushed out of the door, slamming it behind her.
Fred shook his head. Whatever had possessed her to marry his father was beyond him. He could see what he father saw in her of course, you would have to be blind or neutered not to, but still.
His cell-phone rang. It was Jon, or ‘fatty’ as he was known at school, at least with some of the girls he had dated. Fred had seen him in the showers and knew why.
“What’s up big boy?” he said in a friendly way. “Did you get it on with Jen last night or what?”
“Oh man! I am still getting over it, and she won’t be able to walk fer sure dude. Know what I mean?”
“You are one dog fatty, I can always rely on you to uphold the traditions of depravity.”
“Yeah, that’s me, your trusty dog. Where you at?”
“Getting ready, where you?”
“Just near your place, just saw that MILF*** of yours driving past and looking mighty fine. How’s it going with that camera?”
“I think there was a virus on the driver disk, don’t worry I will get it right. I am coming out now.”
“Catcha on the flip side bro.”
Fred grabbed his jacket and school bag and slung it over his shoulder before racing out of the door, slamming it behind him.
Fatty met him near the park with a casual wave. He was eating some kind of toasted snack and leaning against the gate, eyeing up the girls going past.
He fell in beside Fred and they wandered along the park path. It was a fine summer morning, far too nice for school if truth be told.
“Sh1t, I didn’t do my physics last night, old Slacky will kill me.” Fred rummaged through his books. “Can I copy yours?”
“Can do when I get it back from George, hey, there she is now.”
Fred looked over to see Georgina, or George as she preferred to be known, walking towards them waving.
“Ah man, she is such a geek. And look at her, why doesn’t she dress like a girl?” Fatty threw the remains of his breakfast on the grass.
“Lesbo” said Fred and tapped the side of his nose.
“Heh, I can cure her” replied Fatty grabbing his crotch and winking. They both laughed.
George ran up to them panting. “Hey chaps!” She said. “What’s the news eh?”
“Same old” said Fatty. “You done that homework?”
“Absolutely, it was jolly easy. I just don’t understand what you fellows find so hard about it.”
Fatty merely shrugged and passed his book over to Fred once George gave it to him. “You have the advantage of a classical education I guess.”
George skipped alongside them as they continued their slow walk up the path. “So, what’s the plan today? Fancy fagging off school? There’s some wizzo fishing down by Brown’s lake I hear.”
“Fagging off?” said Fred, “Where do you get your English from George? Anyway, can’t, old man Trent said if I didn’t turn up again he would be taking it to ‘the next step’ whatever that is, and if I fail this year my dad won’t get me that new PC.”
“Jeepers, bad luck old man” said George. “Hey! Maybe I can come around you your tomorrow! I have a new game I just downloaded.”
Fatty and Fred looked at each other and made faces.
“I don’t know…” Fred began.
“My cousin Ann is visiting too, is it alright if I bring her along?” continued George.
“Holy sh1t! Your cousin Ann? The one who stays with your weird Uncle Querty up in the mountains?”
“Yes, she came last year, do you remember her? That’s super!” George smiled.
“Funk yes I remember her. Thirteen and t1ts like watermelons, who could forget those?” said Fatty, but under his breath, so George couldn’t hear.
“She’s weird though, worse than George” said Fred in the same low tones.
“Who cares!!?!?! Tits man! Great big mugumboes!!” Fatty held out his hands in front of him to demonstrate. “A man could die happy in those things!”
Fred laughed. “Okay George, bring her along, what they hell.”
George grinned. “Super! Okay chaps, here we are, I must simply dash, see you tomorrow.” She ran off.
Fred said goodbye to Fatty as he headed off to his class, and spent a miserable day being shouted at by his teachers.
>
He came back to an empty house. That wasn’t too unusual, so he didn’t think anything of it. He went up to his room and surfed the net for his favorite porn sites, doing a little spanking of the monkey. Then he lost track of time playing Warcraft online, so it wasn’t until his father came home that he realized anything was amiss.
“Frederick! Have you seen your mother?” His father shouted up.
“Not since this morning” he replied, glancing at the clock. Holy cow! It was seven thirty!
Frantic phone calls followed, none of which were productive. Mr. Merkins was beside himself with worry, and dashed out and about trying to find his wife. Fred watched helplessly.
Finally his dad came home and slumped on the couch. It was late.
“Well?” asked Fred carefully.
“Last time she was seen was talking to some guy Sam down the post office. They wouldn’t give me his number, and he isn’t due back on shift for another few days. The police say they can’t do anything for 24 hours.”
Mr Merkin looked at Fred. “Go to bed son. You have school tomorrow.”
Fred patted his dad on the shoulder and retired for the night. He felt bad. His dad may be a hopeless nerd, but he was his father.
So he said the next day to Fatty and George at school. It was lunchtime and they were hanging about in the park.
“My Uncle John works down the post depot” said Fatty, maybe we can go and ask him. “Oh, wait, he is on holiday somewhere this week. We are looking after their dog while they are away.”
“Well I say she has been kidnapped by slavers from Africa!” piped up George. “There was a big thing about it the other year, and I noticed a mysterious ship at the docks last night. We should snoop about!”
“Maybe we should go to the cop shop with my dad again later” said Fred, “he will be going at 6, that is 24 hours.”
Fatty sucked on a cola and belched. "I dunno, I don’t like the cops ever since I was busted."
“You were not busted! They told you off for peeing against the wall!”
“Busted.” Repeated Fatty stubbornly.
Fred sighed and looked at his friends. What should they do?
*Hey, that’s how I read it.
**Titles may have nothing to do with chapter content.
***If you don’t know what this means then I am not going to explain it, so bad luck, go and watch American Pie or something.
>>>>>>
Okay the filth didn’t come out that time, but there are still chapters to come so don’t worry. So, what’s the lowdown? Give me some action plan here people.
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:05 am; edited 11 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:29 am Post subject: |
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LOL! So it's to be 'Five go Mad in Dorset', is it? Cool!
Well, it seems they have lots of leads - but I think the first priority should be getting to meet Anne again. After all, she has huge knockers that might add some... clarity... to the situation.
After that, check the Uncle of Fatty's. It's the option that requires least actual effort 
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:32 am Post subject: |
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Start at the local hairdressers or nail salon...she was all dressed up with somewhere to go, and surely wanted to look ravishing.
You don't wear miniskirts and low cut blouses to the clothiers, and likely she'd want to get more prettified. Besides, at the nail salon there's bound to be plenty of other bored housewives to check out- I mean talk to, and they might be able to point you in the proper direction.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:04 am Post subject: |
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ROFLMAO! :biggrin:  :biggrin:
Wonderfully low-brow stuff Chinaren, hilariously coarse. Thought 'George' was great too!
One small niggle:
| Quote: | | I dunno, I don’t like the cops ever since I was busted |
I think this is supposed to be in speech marks.
Now, what to do...? Let's make this all famous-fivesy; back to Georginas to get 'sandwiches' (a grope of Ann's 'mugoombas'), then off too the beach for some 'vestigating (rampant.... beachcombing  ), then off to check out that mysterious ship George was talking about. A chance for Fred and/or Fatty to act all masculine and brave.
*holds breath* 
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:43 am Post subject: |
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Great start Chinny - loved it
I spotted a confuzzled bit, but lost it  if I find it again I'll let you know.
The docks is rather random, and the police probably won't let any pesky kids in to the room as they are talking to Fred's dad.
I think we should go with Fatty's option. Find out who 'Sam' is and follow that lead.
Happy Writing
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:16 am Post subject: |
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This story is brilliant beyond belief.
However, I have no idea about the DP.
~ Good Old Bad Young Stupid Days Dept. 
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:36 am Post subject: |
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Another one C'ren? Good story, but I was thrown slightly when I mis-read this line
| Quote: | | Despite a mere 11 year age gap |
and thought Fred was only 11 for the next couple of paragraphs until I went back and re-read.
For the decision point, I'd say head down and try to locate Sam, mainly for the afore-mentioned reasons.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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You seem to have too much time on your hands, China with all these storygames.
Hmm. I agree with Lordy, and Smee, find out whoever this 'Sam' is.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | You seem to have too much time on your hands, China with all these storygames. |
Well, I wasn't planning on this one, but I some of my current ones are still polling, and I didn't feel like writing a chapter of the others. I intend for this one to be only about 5 chapters, or whatever Stoat's minimum is. Of course, you can never tell with these things, and I have thought of a sequel already.
I don't have a great deal to do here actually, this town is pretty dull, and I don't know that many people. Plus I write kinda fast.
Some of the stories I write at work when it is quiet (shhh, don't tell HQ).
Glad y'all liked it anyway. I will put up a poll soon. And I have NO idea where this is heading yet.
NB. Fatty's uncle is away on holiday, but Fatty knows some of the other people who work there, just not that well.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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Well you're stories are a great short read to ponder over, so keep writing. 
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Chinaren
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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I am going with finding this Sam dude. It seems the best idea to find out a bit more about the mother's disappearance without rousing to much unnecessary attention.
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:38 am Post subject: |
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Whizzo!
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:57 am Post subject: |
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Eh? *watches as fauna goes flying around the forum.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:03 am Post subject: |
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I have only two words for Mr. Chiaren...Stiffler's Mom.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:48 am Post subject: |
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| Kalanna Rai wrote: | | I have only two words for Mr. Chiaren...Stiffler's Mom. |
LOL! I had just watched American Pie Band Camp before I wrote this, maybe I was influenced...
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:58 am Post subject: |
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Go go super-sleuth team! :biggrin:
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:23 am Post subject: |
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Cool story *grin*
Keep it up! (ooo errr!)
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:18 am Post subject: |
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Postal depot it is then. Damn you. I know nothing about postal depots. Mind you, that' never stopped me before...
*Starts tapping away hesitantly...*
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:20 am Post subject: |
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China. A postal depot is probably a box building where all the mail is. Thats all you need to know. Just use your imagination.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:22 am Post subject: |
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With scantily dressed postwomen running around madly because a big letter full of.... champagne has just exploded, showering them in alcoholic goodness.
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:32 am Post subject: |
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See? We are very helpful. 
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Stories
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:34 am Post subject: |
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Once again, if you are too young, offended, timid or generally illegal in some way, defer and desist from reading this story, as it may contain adult situations, some of them could be weird and well, you get the idea.
Chapter 2. Do Me Hard Big Boy.
Fred was first out of his class. He called his dad whilst he waited for the others, but there was no news. Malcolm Merkin sounded dejected, but he insisted Fred stay at home or play with his friends. As long as he did his homework…
Fred hung up the phone, half guilty, half relieved, just as George ran up to him.
“Any news?” she asked.
“Nothing. My dad says I don’t have to go to the cop shop with him though.”
“That’s good, it means we can snoop around the postal depot.”
“What about your cousin, will she come along?” Fred shivered slightly at the thought of Ann’s voluptuous figure.
“Jeepers creepers yes!” said George, jumping up and down. “Where is Fatty? Everyone was out simply ages ago.”
“Wait here, I will go and look.” Fred walked back into the school until he found Fatty, who was busy Frenching some girl Fred hadn’t seen before.
Eventually the two parted, the girl looking rather flushed.
“Whatsup” said Fatty as he saw Fred hanging about.
“Who is she?”
“I dunno, some new chick, met her in physics. Good kisser mind, copped a feel too.” He made a descriptive action with his hand.
“Come on, George is waiting for us.” Fred led Fatty to where George was sitting on a doorstep.
“Crikey you two! Took you long enough! Let’s go” she said, jumping up.
The three made their way through the park to Stone Street, where George lived. Stone street was an old road lined with massive old houses, mostly converted to student flats for the nearby university now. However, Georges’ family still had the whole thing to themselves. ‘Old money’ Fred’s dad had called it, then made some joke about Fred being ‘in there’.
They ran up the back entrance, through the overgrown yard to the large back door, red paint peeling. George slipped inside and the boys followed her up the musty smelling hallway.
“Ann? You home?” George shouted.
There was a noise and Ann appeared from a side door. Fred and Fatty took simultaneous deep breaths as she appeared.
“Jesus on a bike!” muttered Fatty under his breath, “she’s even bigger!!”
“Oh super!” said Ann, in a rather shrill high pitched voice. She clapped her hands and jumped up and down, severely threatening the integrity of the buttons on the blouse she was wearing, which were straining to contain the heavy load as it was.
“Uuuh” said Fred, momentarily rendered speechless.
“Oh I know you! You are that simply cute Frederick! How are you my dear?” Ann rushed over and gave Fred a big hug, whereby he promptly messed his pants.
“Do you remember me?” asked Fatty eagerly.
Ann let Fred go, luckily not noticing his frantic trouser movements as he tried to hide the mess in the front of his pants. “Mmmm, I don’t think so. Jim or something wasn’t it?” Ann put her finger to her lips and pouted.
“Oh my god” mumbled Fred. He turned around and dashed off to the bathroom with a hurried apology.
“Jon, my friends call me Fatty.” Said Fatty, clearly disappointed.
“Oh, well. Hello Jon. I am Ann.”
“Mmf.” Said Jon.
Another voice interrupted the conversation. It was Georges’ mother, a fat and jolly person with a constantly red face. Fred had privately speculated she was on some sort of weed.
“Oooh Georgina! You have brought your friend over! How super! Will you stay for drinks and sandwiches my dear? I have made some fresh buns just today.” She beamed, doing a fair impersonation of a jolly tomato.
“Did someone mention buns? Oh, hello Mrs. George” said Fred, emerging from the bathroom, a wet mark on his pants.
“Hello Frederick” said George’s mum. “Would you like a sandwich?”
“Actually Mater, we have to go out. Some snooping to do don’t you know. A mystery is afoot!” reprimanded George.
“Well, in that case I will pack a dinner for you all then. Won’t be a moment” and she bustled off up the hallway.
“So, what’s the plan chaps?” said Ann, linking arms with Fred, much to Fatty’s jealousy.
“Well, I say we go down the post depot, Fatty knows some people down there” Fred said.
“Super!” said George and Ann together. Fatty rubbed his forehead.
“Here we go then darlings!” Georges’ mum came out carrying a tray with four brown bags. “Cheese and tomato sandwiches, one of my special buns” she gave Fred a strange wink, “and simply lashings of ginger beer!”
“Whizzo!” said George.
The four took their dinners and, saying goodbye, they filed out. Fred happened to glance back as they left and thought he saw George’s mother inhaling deeply from a very small pipe, but he couldn’t be sure.
>
They had to stop quickly at Fatty’s house, where he dropped his school books off
The four walked off towards the local industrial park. Ann held onto Fred’s arm all the way, despite Fatty’s ever more desperate advances. Fred couldn’t help but feel smug, even though he had a stiffy for pretty much all the way there.
They soon arrived at the depot, which was just one of the many faceless buildings which lurked about in a former swamp, now all renovated for local businesses of course.
They walked in unchallenged. Luck was with them. Fatty saw a friend of his Uncles, and they fell in beside him. Roger, as he was called, was a young skinny man who, Fred couldn’t help but notice, glanced in the direction of Anns’ chest more than once.
“Come on in” he said, as Fatty continued his attempts at small talk. Fred had a suspicious Roger wouldn’t have been quite so accommodating without Anns’ breasts helping them along.
They entered a small and cozy office. Parcels were scattered about randomly. Various pinups of topless women and girly mags marked this as a working man’s private domain.
“So then,” said Roger, leaning towards Ann. “Who are you lot then? I have seen you and you and you,” he pointed at Fred, Fatty and George, “but I don’t think I have seen you before, eh darling’?”
“The name’s Ann, it’s jolly nice to meet you,” said Ann holding her arm out straight.
“Ann eh?” Roger took her hand and shook it, rather longer than politeness would call for, thought Fred.
“Fancy a drink?” he winked and pulled open a small fridge to reveal a six pack of beer.
“Oh, Mr. Roger, we couldn’t possibly consume alcohol! I am only thirteen you know” said Ann.
“Thirteen eh? Bloody hell. Still, you kids grow up fast these days eh?” He winked again. “Well, here’s some water then” he filled a paper cup with some water from a dispenser. “Oh my god! I am so sorry!”
Roger, handing Ann the cup had, by some terrible mischance dropped it, spilling the water out all over her top.
Fatty began choking. Fred went red and grabbed at his crotch.
“Oh dear oh dear of dear” said Roger, rather too happily, “look at what I done eh? Tell you what, if you step into this little room over here and take that off I can dry it for you in a jiffy.” He guided Ann over to a small sorting office.
Ann followed, exclaiming how she ‘didn’t want to be any trouble’
“No trouble at all.” Roger closed the door behind them. “Now, you just whip that off and hand it to me eh? I will wait through these doors.” He gestured at another set of doors on the other side of the room.
“Mr. Roger sir, what about that security camera?” Ann pointed.
“Oh that old thing! Don’t worry about it, it’s never on. Just ignore it.”
“Okay Mr. Roger.”
Roger hurried through the door and held a hand out, in which Ann placed her wet blouse. “Won’t be a moment love” said Roger, hurrying away to the CCTV controls.
Ann wandered about for a moment, then sat on a small box whilst waiting. Her bra was chaffing, as it often did, so she quickly pulled it off to straighten it.
There was a faint shout, sounded like 'Funk!’ from behind the doors, but then Ann heard someone else come into the room. She edged closer as she put her bra back on.
“What are you doing Roger?” came a deep voice.
“Wha… Oh, nothing sir. Just checking things out” came Rogers’ voice.
“Well, very good. Now, listen. The latest shipment is nearly ready. The Africans said they will ship out in a couple of days. Is everything prepared?”
“Yes sir, the ah, cargo, is down in the old warehouse on Key street. Sam is looking after it.”
“Good, good, well carry…Good lord! Is that…?”
“You bet sir! Stunner eh?”
“Arrange the boys, let’s add that one to the shipment, we will get a fair bit for one like that. Holy cow, look at the size of them!”
Ann shifted on her seat, she was aware that eavesdropping was wrong, but she couldn’t help but feel that this could have something to do with the mystery. There was the sound of moving from the room, so she quickly shifted away from the door.
“There you go!” said Roger’s voice, and the blouse was handed back in by his arm.
“Thanks Mr. Rogers sir!” said Ann, quickly putting her top back on, struggling with the buttons as she always did.
Roger ushered her out quickly then, back to the others. “Sorry all, have to work now, the boss is around, know what I mean?”
Despite their half hearted protests he showed them out of the office, leaving them standing back outside, where it was getting dark.
“Well gosh darn it. That was a bust!” said George.
“Maybe not!” said Ann, and related her tale.
“You really took your top off?” said Fatty.
“Oh Jon, come on! Stop kidding about. We have a lead!” said Ann.
“Well, it’s getting late, we better go back” said George.
Fred looked at his watch. “It’s six o’clock.”
“Cripes! Better dash then!” said George, taking Ann’s hand. “Bye chaps! See you tomorrow!” They ran down the road, causing Ann’s poor blouse serious trauma. The boys watched them go glumly.
“Bah. Some night out” said Fred. They were just about to head home when a screech of wheels made them turn. A scream rang out, more wheels and an engine revving hard.
“Help!”
The boys looked at each other. “That’s George!” They quickly ran down the road and around the corner.
There, sitting on the road was George. “They took Ann!” she shouted.
Fred looked up the road in time to see a dark blue van disappear round the bend.
“Jeepers!” he said.
>>>>>>
Cripes! Ann’s been took eh? What’s to do?
<<<<<<
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:48 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter China! Full of creamy goodness
Now - the obvious path would be to go to the old warehouse on Key Street and investigate.
Having said that, I'm absolutely sure that Georgina - being nearly as good as a boy - will have got hold of the blue van's license plate, so perhaps they could go to the nice policemen and tell them what's going on? But don't talk to the officious sergeant. No - tell them you want to talk to the Chief Superintendent. Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:53 am Post subject: |
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CRIKEY China! That was a bit full on. Got a little dodgy with the borderline paedo...
Bleedin hilarious though!
I think that George should run to the police station and tell them what's happened, and Fred and Fatty should try and see where that van's going. If it's just gone, and they don't have any hope catching it or seeing where it's going, then they should all go to the police and try and explain what's happened.
*holds breath*
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:58 am Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: | | Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever |
That may be true... too true. Knowing Chinaren, he'll probably turn him into a paedo too... *shudder* 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:00 am Post subject: |
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| Solomon Birch wrote: | | Shady Stoat wrote: | | Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever |
That may be true... too true. Knowing Chinaren, he'll probably turn him into a paedo too... *shudder* |
Now you're just giving me ideas.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:53 am Post subject: |
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ROFL - hilarious chapter Chinny
Horribly baaad too of course
I have to agree the police seems the best bet, and I too have equal confidence that George is up to the task of getting the licence plate.
But, even if the Chief Supernintendo does give cakes and head pats, he is also likely to tell us to go home. So we need a plan to go to Key street anyway.
Happy Writing. 
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:25 am Post subject: |
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Hell, the police aren't going to do anything, probably not even the head pats and cream buns.
The bigger mystery is whether George's mother actually has a little pipe...and that's the ticket to getting Ann back. Mellow up this Roger fellow and get him to discussing her knockers, and something about her whereabouts is bound to slip out.
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rlz
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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ROFL
This is probably the most hilarious (that I have read) and erotic story so far. I want to point out some quotes I found... interesting.
| chinaren wrote: | Funk yes I remember her.
Great big mugumboes!!” Fatty held out his hands in front of him to demonstrate. “A man could die happy in those things!”
He went up to his room and surfed the net for his favorite porn sites, doing a little spanking of the monkey.
Fred couldn’t help but feel smug, even though he had a stiffy for pretty much all the way there. |
Great use of vocabulary. Use it much?
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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Another chapter YAY! But unfortunately I don't have time to give a complete review of it. Give it you later tonight.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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So I finally read this through....I loved the chapter.
F5 Fauna. Let's pump some info off this Roger guy. The police aren't going to be much help. Besides the group ignored the police the first time around. May as well keep it that way.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with I agree with I agree with I agree with Fauna.
Sorry, the F5 key got stuck.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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You mean you put a weight on the F5 Key, Stubby.
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| Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:44 am Post subject: |
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Yet another bloody hilarious chapter, I see. :biggrin:
I agree with Fauna. Who needs police? And this Roger guy sounds suspicious to me... ¬¬
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| Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: | | Solomon Birch wrote: | | Shady Stoat wrote: | | Everyone knows that Sergeants don't take children seriously, while Chief Superintendents give them cream buns and pats on the head for being so clever |
That may be true... too true. Knowing Chinaren, he'll probably turn him into a paedo too... *shudder* |
Now you're just giving me ideas. |
NEVER GIVE CHINAREN IDEAS.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:02 am Post subject: |
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Oops! It wasn't my intention! Honest!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:39 am Post subject: |
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LOL. China and new ideas = big trouble.
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