 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
 Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| lordofthenight wrote: | Voted, and winning.
And you're just loving this story, aren't you Chinaren. |
I refuse to answer that on the grounds in may discriminate* me. 
*Yes I know this is the wrong word.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Added my vote.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:16 am Post subject: |
|
|
With a thrust and a grunt I voted to rub Roger.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
rlz
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
| ethereal_fauna wrote: | | With a thrust and a grunt I voted to rub Roger. |
I agree.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
LOL, fauna.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Once again, This story contains adult themes and general perversion. Hence if you are too young, not deviant enough or similar, desist here. I cannot be held responsible!
Chapter 3. It’s so big and hard!
Fred helped George up. “Are you okay?”
She brushed herself down. “Yes, I think so. Golly chaps! They took Ann! What could they possibly want with her? I mean, she doesn’t have anything of interest.”
“Oh, I don’t know” said Fred in a vague voice. “I can think of a couple of things. I mean er…” he looked at Fatty for help.
“Why are we standing around?” said Fatty, taking another tack. “Did you get the number of the van George?”
George shook her head. “Sorry fellows, I was trying to rough-house it with them, got a good kick in the leg for my troubles.” She hoisted up a trouser leg to show a mark on a, Fred couldn’t help noticing, quite shapely calf.
“Shall I rub that for you?” he said, lechery overriding other concerns for a moment.
“Oh, it will be okay, thanks awfully though. I got in a good bite myself on one of the bounders too.”
“Mmm” Fred rubbed his chin, still thinking of George’s leg and not really listening.
“Well, what shall we do now?” said Fatty. “They are long gone.”
“I say we go and put some stern questions to that ruffian Roger at the depot. I am sure he knows something about all this” George said.
“Well, I don’t think he will just talk to us so freely” replied Fred. “We need some way of, ah, persuading him to talk.” He eyed George speculatively for a moment. No, she may be a girl underneath her baggy clothes, but she was pretty clueless about some things. “George, I think we need to go back to your house. I have an idea…”
>>
‘There is no farking way!” Said Fatty, backing against the wall, hands infront of him.
“Come on Fatty, I am too big, and anyway, everyone knows you are the man when it comes to flirting.”
“As a man! Not as a chick! I wouldn’t know where to begin! Come on!”
“Look,” said George in a reasonable tone, a variety of clothes held in her arms. “No one will know, and I happen to know you did this once before, at Jane’s birthday party.”
“How do you know that??” screamed Fatty.
George winked. “Us gals do talk you know.”
“Hmph. First time I have heard you admit you are a girl” said Fatty. He looked at them again. “Still no.”
“Think of how grateful Ann will be when she knows what you did for her” said Fred, winking lewdly, or trying to anyway.
Fatty pondered this point, and weighed it against the fact he would have to dress up in girls clothes. “Well…”
“Good. Here. These are Ann’s, they should fit you better than mine. We better get something to stuff the bra with though.”
“Bloody hell” said Fatty holding up the afore mentioned object. “A couple of pillows might just about do it.”
It was a struggle, but between them George and Fred managed to get Fatty dressed up in Ann’s clothes. A surprisingly large number of socks padded out his front.
“Mmm” said George standing back to admire their handiwork. “Needs something. Wait here a mo…” and she dashed off.
“Look,” said Fatty when she had left the room, “if you so much as mention this to anyone I will personally tell everyone you fancy Phillipa from Mr. Punkles class.”
“I never do!”
“Yes you do, and I have proof. Cast your mind back to my Christmas party. Who did I catch feeling her up on my new digital camera?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Fred blushed. “I was drunk.” He scowled. “Okay. Now we are even.” He thought for a moment. “I want a copy of the picture too.”
Fatty smirked and then looked up as George came back. “Here we go fellows! Swiped it from my older sister’s room.” She held up a long dark wig.
“You have an older sister?” asked Fred as Fatty tried it on. “How come we never see her?”
“Oh, she is at finishing school in Switzerland. Been there for ages.”
“Blimey.”
“Well, how do I look?” said Fatty, striking what he hoped would be a girly pose.
Fred examined the results. Fatty was now dressed in a high-necked sweater, bulging at the chest as a result of the stuffing, and a knee length red skirt. Long white socks came up to his knees. Fred whistled. “Not bad actually Fatty. You make a pretty cute girl.”’
“You are only saying that to get into my pants.”
“Cripes! Come on fellows! It is late, we need to hurry” said George.
The three slipped out of the back way, avoiding sounds of lusty singing from the front room where Georgina’s mother had some sort of Karaoke session going.
“What does your family do anyway George?” asked Fatty, mincing along the road.
“Oh, we have a couple of companies. Shipping mainly, you know, import and export. That’s how I know about that African ship at the docks.”
“A couple of companies?” Fred eyed George from a new perspective.
“Yes, I don’t really take much notice. Daddy says I should have a good time whilst I am still young. I just wish he wasn’t away on business so much.” She looked downfallen for a second.
“Here, that bloke just eyed me up!” said Fatty, breaking into the conversation.
“Well, it is dark” said Fred.
“Bloody cheek!” said Fatty. “Him eying me up!” He shook his head in wonder.
“Well, you are dressed up with enormous…er, like a nice girl” said Fred, breaking off from what he was going to say to spare George.
“Here we are then!”
They looked around. A postal van roared past, out of the depot, but otherwise the place seemed deserted.
Fatty heaved a great sigh. “Okay then. Leave the talking to me,” he said, hitching up his chest.
They walked up to the office that Roger had led them to before and knocked on the door. A fat man opened it. He eyed Fatty up and down once before speaking, dwelling on the socks area. “What do you want me darlin’?”
“Is Roger in please sir?” said Fatty, in his best falsetto.
“Hur hur” the man chuckled. “For you me dear, I am sure he is. Yer friends can come in too I s’pose.”
The three filed into the room. Behind them the fat man closed and locked the door.
“Oi! Roger! Yer have some company yer do! Come out ere yer scroat!”
There was a noise from the next room and Roger issued forth. “You again! Oh, hello my dear, I don’t seem to recognize you.” He leered at Fatty, who preened.
“Hello sir, I was wondering if you had seen our er, jolly good friend, Ann? You may remember her. She was with us a little while ago?”
“Fark, was that the bint…” began the fat man, shutting up as Roger gave him a Look.
“Why no. Didn’t she leave with you?” Roger asked in badly feigned surprise.
“No sir” said Fatty, overdoing it.
“Well, she could be in the storeroom I suppose” said Roger, acting badly enough to win an Oscar. Do you want to come and have a look around?” he said, smiling what he probably hoped was a charming smile.
“Er, Rog,” said Richard, “a quick word?”
“Surely” beamed Roger and the two huddled in the corner and spoke in low voices for a moment. Fred strained to hear what was said.
“..enough cargo for this time…”
“…cares? I fancy a bit of… great big ti…”
“…on then, you owe me…”
Was all he heard.
Richard belched enormously and looked up at the kids. “Har har. Never mind us. Just grown up talk.”
Roger held out his hand to Fatty. “Come now little…um, girl. Let’s go and have a look around shall we? Tell me, do you like puppies?” The two disappeared through the other door, Fatty casting a desperate glance back at Fred before he was dragged through.
“So then. Just us lads then eh?” said Richard.
“Excuse me sir, but I am a girl” said George. Fred winced internally.
“Are you now?” Richard said, showing renewed interest. He reached into the fridge and offered a beer to both of them. “Go on now, I won’t tell!” he winked.
Fred sighed and took the can. It wasn’t as if he had never drunk before.
George looked doubtful. “Is it Ginger beer?” she asked.
Richard was about to say something then changed his mind. “Er, nearly. Close enough I expect?” He winked again and slumped down on the sofa, patting the seat indicating George should sit next to him.
Before Fred could stop her she did. He closed his eyes and determined to have a talk with George sometime soon.
“So,” Richard took a deep swig from his own can, “you still at school then?”
George took a pull of her can, and coughed. “Gosh, this is funny tasting Ginger beer Mr. Richard.”
“New brand my dear, just on the market. And call me Dick eh?” He winked again, causing Fred to wonder if he had some sort of affliction.
Fred was just about to say something when he thought he heard muffled noises from behind the door. When he looked back ‘Dick’ had his arm around George in a ‘friendly’ manner.
“So dear, how old would you be then? About 16 yes?”
“Oh Mr. Dick! You are a one!” said George, taking another large swig out of the can and giggling.
“That’s near enough a yes for me hur hur” Dick sat closer to George.
Fred couldn’t take it any longer. “George! I think we should be going now! We don’t want to keep your mother waiting outside, do we now?”
“Eh? Your bloody mother is outside? Shit! Why didn’t you say so? Give me that!” Dick snatched the beer away from George and hurriedly stood up. He grabbed Fred’s can away too and shoved them both out of the office. “Your friend will be out in a moment. Not a word of this eh? Our secret!” he gave a final wink and slammed the door.
Fred sighed and turned to George who giggled and wrapped her arms around him, catching him by surprise. “Oh Fred, what a nice man Mr. Dick was” she slurred.
“You were about to find out how nice I think” said Fred, suddenly very conscious of Georges curves under her baggy sweater. An image of her leg popped into his mind unbidden, and his teenage thoughts were cruelly derailed by certain ‘suggestions’ from another area of his body. Mainly about what you could do to drunk and innocent girls when all alone with them.
“Do you like me Fred?” George’s face was close to his now.
Fred wondered how she could ask that, when the answer was sticking into her thigh. “Oh yes George, you are… super.”
“Whizzo!”
Fred looked into Georges’ green eyes. They drew closer…
The door flew open behind them.
“Thank-you Mr. Roger sir!” came Fatty’s voice. “Bye bye now!”
The moment was broken. George blinked and pulled away from Fred. They both turned to look at Fatty.
Fred gasped. “What happened to you?”
“Did you get anything?” said George.
“I’ll say so” said Fatty, but under his breath. Then, in a louder voice, “Let’s just get out of here okay?”
Fred and George hurried off then paused a moment. Fred looked back. “Come on Fatty, what you walking so slowly for?”
Fatty grimaced and continued to limp up the road in a very peculiar stride. “It’s er… these bloody girls knickers. Come on! I have information.”
They walked on until they came to an empty bus stop, where they sat down, Fatty somewhat gingerly.
“So? Spill the beans!” George said.
Fatty shifted position carefully before speaking. “As far as I could make out, Roger was one of those that took Ann. He had a bite mark on… He had a bite mark. Fresh.” He looked uncomfortable for a moment then carried on. “Ann and your step-mother are going to be moved by truck to the ship at midnight. I don’t know where the ship is going.”
“Crikey! To the darkest parts of Africa I’ll be bound!” said George. “We must act quickly!”
“Okay, but what do we do?” said Fred.
A good question…
“Wait a minute. You didn’t put the girls pants on!”
>>>>>>
That, I will have you know, was not easy to write. Who would have thought you lot would vote to go back to Roger. Filthy beasts.
So. Suggestions for their next move?
<<<<<<
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian
Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Topics: 41
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:02 am Post subject: |
|
|
Well, wince in pain comes to mind, then try and get on the boat somehow.
Could they just creep on without being noticed in the dead of night? Or are there armed guards and other various peoples.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Topics: 18
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
Heh, dirty, filthy chapter Chinaren. I like.  
I kinda agree with Lordy, can they get onto the boats without being seen? Does it look quite easy? If there are some guards, I reckon Fatty and George should try and talk their way in, and distract the guards so Fred can slip in as well. Then they can go and see if they can find Ann. It'd be a shame to lose her ass.... her.
:biggrin:
*holds breath*
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
LOL. Great chapter, China.
The threesome don't even know which boat is going. Couldn't they just hitch a ride on the truck that is heading out to meet the boat?
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | | The threesome don't |
Threesome eh? Mmm.
George is familiar with the docks area, so she could likely get them in.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:27 am Post subject: |
|
|
I knew you would take that comment to extreme, China. 
George seems to know a lot about this place, best let her lead the group.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:27 am Post subject: |
|
|
Can't just try to guess which boat they're on...I like Rave's suggestion.
Of course you could try to stir up a bit of trouble right quick. Get in touch with a zealous neighborhood watch group. Preferably one with a lot of parents of teen daughters.
Have Fatty crying and going on about how the bad man made rude suggestions, and it won't take long at all before you have a group of angry, shotgun-toting dads backing you up.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
Fauna, you are on an idea roll today! One idea Medal nominated to you!
and...
[Edit]
| Quote: | | I knew you would take that comment to extreme, China. |
I aim to please! 
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:30 am Post subject: |
|
|
Odd...it tastes like a jelly roll.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:32 am Post subject: |
|
|
LOL. *rushes off*
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Smee
Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Topics: 166
Posts: 5215
Location: UK
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:03 am Post subject: |
|
|
Spiffing chapter old chap. 
I like the idea of trying to get on the truck.
The neighbourhood watch is a good idea, although we don't have many shotgun wielding neighbourhood watches round here - they can certainly cause a scene.
So when does Julian arrive
Happy Writing
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Stubby
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:04 am Post subject: |
|
|
oh, SO funny! Amazing piece of literature, old chap!
I;d say head straight down to the docks - and I'm sure that Fatty could help persuade any sailors on guard to , um, look the other way for a few minute while the other two slip in, I mean past.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Shady Stoat
Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 2950
Location: England
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Great chapter Chinaren. I like a lot of the ideas already up. Can't think of anything that hasn't already been suggested, so I'll just sit back and enjoy for once
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
rlz
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Solomon Birch wrote: | | *holds breath* |
Do you ever run out of breath? I've never seen you "unhold" it.
Great story china, a few funny points here.
| chinaren wrote: | “Bloody hell” said Fatty holding up the afore mentioned object. “A couple of pillows might just about do it.”
An image of her leg popped into his mind unbidden, and his teenage thoughts were cruelly derailed by certain ‘suggestions’ from another area of his body. |
HAHA!! That was a good chapter, I say that they try to sneak on the docks, just like almost everyone else has said. Look forward to Chapter 3!!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| rlz wrote: | | Solomon Birch wrote: | | *holds breath* |
Do you ever run out of breath? I've never seen you "unhold" it.
|
He does when he needs to answer...Breathing is an unconcious function. We just do it.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Topics: 18
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
Voted for distraction then sneaking onto the ship, as it was the closest matching to my suggestion.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Solomon Birch wrote: | | Voted for distraction then sneaking onto the ship, as it was the closest matching to my suggestion. |
Well, kind of incorporated yours into number 1 Soily. Sorry.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Stubby
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Voted for getting onto the ship - apart from anything else, it has so much more comedy potential than the others!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Topics: 18
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:48 am Post subject: |
|
|
| chinaren wrote: | | Solomon Birch wrote: | | Voted for distraction then sneaking onto the ship, as it was the closest matching to my suggestion. |
Well, kind of incorporated yours into number 1 Soily. Sorry. |
LOL, ah well. 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:03 am Post subject: |
|
|
Right then, next chapter is underway. If you have any more ideas, well. Too late.
Hopefully will post within the hour, unless I get tired and have to finish tomorrow.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:25 am Post subject: Chapter 4. Push it all the way in! |
|
|
In case you haven’t got the idea by now: This story may contain filth and depravity. I will probably keep it tasteful, but look, I said probably.
If you have sensitive eyes, mind or other parts that need to be closeted, best leave them behind before you read it.
You have been warned in big red letters!
Chapter 4. Push it all the way in!
“So you were peeking were you? I always suspected you swung that way.”
“That’s a fine thing coming from someone dressed in girl’s clothes!”
“Chaps, chaps, let’s leave the banter until later what?” George broke into the conversation, and the two boys subsided slowly. “Now, as I see it we should get down to the docks sharpish.”
Fred shook his head. “I dunno. Do you think you could get us in?”
“No problem! I go down with daddy all the time!”
“What about on the ship? This African one you say?” said Fatty, adjusting his brassier. “What you looking at pervert?” he added to a fat man in a long coat who was passing by.
“Mmm, good point old bean. May be a bit of a sticky wicket that one.” George put a finger to her lips.
“What we need,” said Fred, “is a diversion.”
“How about the Police?” George suggested.
“Are you kidding? They wouldn’t listen to us!” Fred looked at Fatty again.
“What? I have done my part in this. More than my part I would say! Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me at all!”
“Come on Fatty, be reasonable” Fred said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. “I was thinking of old Mrs. Jenkins and her gang.”
“Oh super!” Exclaimed George in excitement, leaping up and planting a kiss on Fred’s cheek. “That’ll be an absolute wheeze!”
Fred was momentarily thrown off course by the kiss. George was beginning to impinge upon his thoughts in way that she had never done before, and unless she stopped it he was going to have to find a quiet spot for a bit of serious self abuse for a few minutes.
Fatty was rubbing his chin in thought and didn’t notice. “Well…” he said. “I must admit, getting that old bag riled up may well be worth it. She has been pretty much on the ball since we did the old dog shit trick in her garden.”
“And she told on you when she saw you drinking that beer on the street that time” coaxed Fred, snapping back from images of George in much less clothing.
“Yeah, bitch!” Fatty stood up with a determined look on his face. “Let’s do it!”
“Whizzo!”
>
Fatty, his dress in a disheveled state staggered up the garden path to Mrs. Jenkins cottage. George and Fred hunkered down behind some bushes nearby, watching his progress.
“Heh! This is perfect! It looks like she is having some sort of meeting with her coven. That old battleaxe will be down to the docks before you can say evil stepmother.”
“You know,” said George, “you have been awfully dashing just lately.” She put her hand on Fred’s arm, which triggered an appropriate response somewhere further down his body. He groaned slightly. “Ann would be awfully thrilled if she could see what you were doing for her” she continued.
Fred tried to think about Ann and her obvious charms, but the nearness of George overwhelmed even those two items. His crotch screamed at him to make some sort of move before it exploded with frustration. “Well,” he said. “I am not doing it only for her you know. You have been a… a jolly good friend for a long time now.” He looked at George in the dim yellow glow of a nearby streetlight.
“Jeepers! I am awfully glad you think so. You’re a pretty special fellow to me too you know.”
Fred moved slightly closer. She didn’t move away. “Georgina, perhaps you and me…”
He was cut off by the banging of a door from Mrs. Jenkins house as it was slammed open. Fred sighed in frustration. He was starting to develop an aversion to doors!
Down the path came the frightening visage of Mrs. Jenkins herself, dragging Fatty behind her, and followed by what was often referred to as her ‘coven’, though never within earshot.
Mrs. Jenkins had, in Fred’s mind, been born several centuries too late. She would have made a great witch finder or torturer in ages past. In these less enlightened times she had set herself up with the next best thing. She had formed a neighborhood watch and worked the area with an efficiency that any law enforcement agency could only dream about, monitoring movements of the local residents with frightening accuracy, especially those pesky kids.
Fred’s mind’s eye placed a large pointy black hat on her head and the shadows cast by the streetlights seemed to illuminate a creature from the lower depths of hell.
“Cripes!” said George. “She is full steam ahead!”
Fred chuckled. “Let’s get going, she is going to hit those docks like a bat out of hell, and we need to be there to take advantage of the chaos. He grabbed George’s hand and the two scampered off into the night.
Behind them Old Mrs. Jenkins and the knitting circle from Hades marched on. You could almost see the torches and pitchforks bobbing about in outrage. No Frankenstein’s castle would have been safe.
>
Fred and George arrived gasping at the entrance to the docks. A security guard loomed large infront of them as they approached.
“Ere! You two can’t…Oh, it’s you Miss Georgina. What are you doing down here at this time of night? This your boyfriend?” He gave a playful wink.
“Hello Harris!” said George, ignoring his question to the disappointment of Fred. “Daddy sent me down to get something from his office. I won’t be long.”
“Go ahead then Miss.” Harris touched his cap and then turned to look up the road where angry shouts could be heard approaching. Fred and George slipped past quickly and disappeared into the shadows.
“Let’s watch!” said Fred, peering over his shoulder as the guard made a brief and near suicidal attempt to stop the force of Mrs. Jenkins on Full Outrage mode.
“No, we can’t wait! They will catch us up.” George dragged him onwards into the gloomy dark of the port. Large ships stood quietly in the night, looming above them in eerie silence. She led him between several storage bays and past giant containers. After a few minutes they crouched down behind a rusty piece of machinery.
“There” she said pointing to a large container ship that stood on its own. Fred couldn’t make out many details, but he could see the light of a cigarette near the gangplank. A guard no doubt.
“Let’s get closer, we need to be in a good position for when the mob arrives.”
They edged nearer, eventually taking refuge as close as they dared behind a trailer.
“Here they come” whispered George.
Indeed, the fearsome countenance of Justice, in the shape of Mrs. Jenkins and co. was bearing down hard on the unfortunate cigarette smoker. Fatty trotted behind, sucked along in the wake.
“Are you the monster that manhandled this little girl?” demanded the harsh voice of the New Inquisition. “And put out that cigarette this instant! Filthy habit! Damned savages!”
The guard, a large black fellow who would have done any nightclub bouncers club proud, tried to rally. “Listen lady…” he began.
“Ooh, bad move!” said Fred, noticing Fatty starting to slip away. “Come on!” he said and they slipped forward.
“Don’t Lady me you bloody heathen! I’ve a good mind to tan your hide! The name is Mrs. Jemima Hilda Jenkinson, but you may address me as Maam. Now then, I demand to see your captain! Where is he…?”
Fred and George nodded to Fatty as they arrived at the gangplank. The guard was now surrounded by angry old women all intent on their prey. The coast was clear, but they had to be quick.
“Good work Fatty! Come on!” said George, and the three ran up onto the ship.
Their luck was holding. No one was around. “Quick, people will be investigating the noise soon,” said Fred. “Which way George?”
George looked about. “No idea really. I have never been on a ship.”
“What? I thought you came here all the time?” Hissed Fatty as they ducked between some nautical equipment.
“Yes, but we do cargo containers. I only go to the office!”
“Bloody Nora” said Fatty under his breath.
The three held still for a moment as several figures walked by.
“Come on then. One way is as good as another.” Fred scuttled out onto the deck again and headed for a nearby door. Opening it carefully he peered around. A stark metal corridor lead off in two directions and stairs led down.
“Down” mouthed George, and they slipped inside.
Every sound seemed to be magnified and Fred’s heart was pounding ten to the dozen. They followed the stairs down several flights until they emerged into a large space.
“Some sort of hold for cargo maybe” George whispered. They crept in.
“Hoi! You!” came a voice.
“Rumbled! Scarper!” said George and she bolted off behind a nearby stack of crates.
Fred and Fatty turned and bumped into each other, knocking each other over in their haste. “Watch it!” said Fatty, scrambling on the floor.
“You watch it!” said Fred and the two stood up and started to run.
Right into a waiting figure.
“Well well well. What have we here?” Large strong hands grasped the two boys by the collar. “A couple of stowaways! And by the Holy mother! A well built one as well! How would you like to join our little cruise my dear?”
Fatty looked up at the large African man holding them. A gold tooth glinted amid a row of shiny white ones. As if daring stereotyping to say anything, he had an eye patch over his left eye. Long dreadlocked hair flowed in greasy waves over a dirty blue overall.
“Per… per… please sir, we are sorry. Please let us go.” Stammered Fatty. A whole new vision of his future with a need for soft cushions flashed in front of his eyes.
The man roared with laughter. “Oh I bet ye are! But you will be a whole lot sorrier soon. The men could use a little diversion like you!”
He dragged the two in his iron grip down more stairs and into another room. Several other large black men were playing cards around a table. Smoke hung in the air and bottles of beer were scattered about the room.
“Look what I found lads!” shouted their captor to a general cheer as they caught sight of Fatty in his large bosom disguise.
“Oh my lord” said Fatty, who had gone weak at the knees.
Fred found himself roughly pushed through another door, where he landed on hard cold floor in a small room. It turned out to be some sort of crude dormitory. The door slammed behind him with a metallic clang.
He stood up and beat on it in a futile manner. “Let me out!”
He was ignored.
On the other side of the door he heard the blubbering voice of Fatty and loud exclamations as he was examined.
“Well! Look at those! Come on my sweet, don’t be shy!” Came one voice.
“I have first go! You had the last one!” came another.
“Yer, but she was about 50! No juice in her. This one now…”
There was a tearing sound and a shriek.
“Hey! What’s this then?! This isn’t a girl!”
“That’s right, all male me!” came Fatty’s quavering voice.
There was a pause as the captors considered this turn of events.
“Ah what the hell” said the first voice again. “I was never that fussy.”
Fred sank down next to the door and winced as Fatty’s cries grew in crescendo. “Oh no! Please! Oh my GOD! You have to be kidding me! How big!???”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Fred couldn’t help it. Despite everything, he sniggered.
>>>>>>
Ouch! Well, Fatty is in for it now!
So, how do we get out of this jam?
<<<<<<
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Shady Stoat
Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 2950
Location: England
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:54 am Post subject: |
|
|
*grins* Enid Blyton would be turning in her crypt, right about now
OK, I think Fred should play willing - do his part for the escape effort. After all, Fatty's probably not as much fun as someone who was up for it.
... and a partner that isn't being held down at the time, has a lot of natural weaponry they can use. Once you have these guys by the sacred banana area, they might be a little more willing to listen to reason 
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Solomon Birch
Honored Citizen
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Topics: 18
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
Chinaren! Blimey, your a filthy one you. *snigger* It's hilarious though, well done.
A bit of a sticky situation, but George managed to get away. Maybe she can... um, 'distract' them. Can't think how, but I'm sure you'd be able to come up with something nice and foul. I mean clever.
Fred and Fatty picking a fight doesn't sound like a clever idea, and even if they managed to get a kick into the crown jewels, there are lot's of the scary black pirates, so they wouldn't stand much chance of escaping. Can't think of anything else, but if I do, then I'll come back,
*holds breath*
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Stubby
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
Cripes!
I think that is time for that smashing George to come up with a Whizzo plan! That would be simply super!
You know - something like getting up close to deck, so the 'coven' can hear, and giving a nice pretty feminine scream - that should cause the stuff to hit the fan.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I tend to think like Stubby. If George was within earshot of the knitting circle from Hades, and screamed out something along the lines of, "Unhand me you big brute! Don't touch me there, it makes me uncomfortable," then poor Fatty might just be able to walk away from this with a natural gait.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Crikey.
What a mess the group has crashed into. F5 all those who say Fred should alert the Witches. A girlish scream is probably he's best bet. May make the old ladies out there think a bit harder of what could be going on in that ship.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Phang
Elder
Joined: 19 Sep 2004
Topics: 25
Posts: 2160
Location: Phang's House of Mints
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
...Funjy.
F5ing the others with the girlish screaming! WE DEMAND GIRLY SHRIEKS!
_________________
Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I think we can find some girly shrieks from somewhere.
I will put up another poll soon, once I PM Stoat to take the old one down.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
LOL. Thats where my vote is going towards.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Shady Stoat
Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 2950
Location: England
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Poll's gone
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
