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LordoftheNight
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 Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 3:00 am Post subject: |
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Voted for the murder scene/weapon. If this is like real life, someone can't be convicted without evidence, and unless truth spells/potions are legal, then any questions will have to be on a hunch at first.
Of course, still question everyone in the house, but examine the crime scene first, to ensure the evidence isn't tampered with.
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Starwalker
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| Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 6:11 am Post subject: |
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| Do a CSI style investigation and go after the most likely suspect from the info you get from it.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:14 am Post subject: |
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This one is next on my list, so I am going to attempt another chapter shortly, assuming I can untangle the plot enough in my mind.
Any further comments and votes welcome. Probably won't be up before Monday at the soonest, so you have a little time.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 8:35 pm Post subject: Chapter 5. Family Ties. |
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Chapter 5. Family Ties.
Etrax shouts for Veerch, and tells everyone else to keep back. You block the doorway while the witch passes through, striding quickly to bend over the still form lying on the floor.
You look on, holding the crowd back as the two examine Harrow, and Veerch makes some arcane passes over the body. She looks at Etrax and shakes her head, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.
Etrax stands up and walks over to the doorway. “I am sorry to say that young Harrow has been killed. Murdered.”
Several people gasp, and Bridgette bursts into tears, to be comforted by Josh. Alice whirls on him though, stabbing a finger in his direction.
“You! You were with him! I saw you!”
“I never did this! Why would I do such a thing?” Josh looks bewildered and slightly panicky. “Harrow was a... a friend.”
“There was something going on between you, don't think I don't know...” Alice was cut off by Etrax.
“Please! This is a shocking time for all of us. I would urge you to return to your rooms, or go down to the main hall. I will investigate here.”
Slowly, with your urging, they turn away, muttering to themselves. Etrax takes the distraught maid to one side and has a word with her, before returning to the murder scene.
You see the rest of the people away and then step into the room. Etrax and the witch are doing something over the body, so you decide not to interrupt them. Instead you walk carefully around, examining the scene of the crime as Etrax has trained you.
You spot a scrap of white in the fireplace, and remember you saw Harrow dropping something in when you walked past before. “Etrax! Here!” you say.
Etrax walks over and examines the paper lying in the middle of the ashes. It mostly burnt, but some words are still legible. He frowns, but then nods and gestures for you to remove the parchment. You do so and squint as you try and make out the writing. Only a few fractured sentences can still be read...
...ember I know all about your filthy... ...esitate to tell all, despite the scandal it would cause you and... ... think you enjoy our little meetings, I know I... ...about you Josh, if only I didn't have to do this, blackmail is such a... ...nly resource until you change your mind, and I will have to make do... ...see you later....
You look up. “It seems Harrow wasn't as friendly with Josh as we have been lead to believe.”
“Assuming this is Harrow's note,” says Etrax, handling the letter carefully.
Veerch stands up. “Nothing,” she says. “No trace of magic. Whoever did this plunged the knife into the body the old fashioned way. By hand.”
“Thank-you Veerch,” says Etrax. “Oh, here is your man-servant.” He gestures at the large figure of Rupert at the door.
“It is time for the Ladies' rest,” says the large man.
“Yes yes.” Veerch hobbles over to the door. “I will speak later detective, but now I do need to lay down for a while, the Barrier certainly makes even minor magic hard work.” She turns to Rupert who helps her away.
You stand over Harrows' body. “What do you see here?” asks your employer.
You look around and then down again. “Er, he has been killed with a knife?”
Etrax sighs, and then speaks slowly, as if to a child. “The room hasn't been disturbed. No signs of a struggle. Though I haven't questioned anybody in depth yet, no one reported any arguing, or shouting. The body is only recently dead, within the hour, so someone would surely have heard something if there had been.”
“You are saying Harrow knew his killer, was friendly even with them?”
“Could be.”
“And then he was taken by surprise?”
“He was a fit young man, he would surely have put up a struggle. At least shouted. No, someone took him completely unawares.”
You nod and scratch your chin. “Going by the piece of paper, Josh would seem to be a prime suspect then.”
“Perhaps so, perhaps not.” Etrax looked around. “I have some thinking to do. I want you to go and question Josh, see what all that is about. Then go and do some snooping around.”
You turn to leave but Etrax stops you.
“Anything on that photo yet?”
You shake your head and he nods for you to go.
>
You find Josh in his room alone, sitting on his bed. “May I come in?” you ask, half in the doorway anyway.
He nods, and you enter the room and sit down on a chair near him. “I am sorry about your friend. Did you know him a long time?”
“Quiet a few years, mainly at school in recent times though. He was always hanging about.”
“I see,” you say, then pause, unsure how to bring up the next part. “Josh, certain information has come to light.”
Josh looks up, a startled reaction on his face. “What information?”
“We found some… evidence that Harrow wasn’t the friend to you that you say he was.” You look closely at his reaction to this news. It seems to be a mostly apprehension, but is there a bit of relief there too?
“I… I don’t know what you mean,” Josh is clearly lying.
You sigh. “You may as well tell the truth Josh. We know Harrow was blackmailing you. What did he want?” ‘And what secret did he discover?’ You think to yourself, but you don’t say it yet, one step at a time.
Josh turns red. “I don’t wish to discuss it. Please leave now.”
You hesitate, but then decide to leave, give the boy some time to think things through. “I will go now then. However, know that this evidence will implicate you in the murder of Harrow. Others will be asking hard questions soon.”
Josh turns pale again, but says nothing. You leave.
As you close the door to the room you decide that Bridgette is the next person to speak to. She is close to Josh, and may be able to spread further light on the Harrow mystery.
Bridgette’s room is a little way along the corridor, in a suite she shares with her father, the fiercesome Major Esper. You are about to knock when you see the Major approaching.
“Bridgette is lying down,” he says as he barges past you, opening the door to the suite.
“In that case, perhaps I could have a few words?”
The Major hesitates a moment, but then grunts in acquiescence and gestures for you to enter, which you do.
You follow the Major into the parlor, where he walks over to the drinks cabinet and pours himself a stiff one. He doesn’t offer you anything.
“Do you know anything of Harrow?” you say as the Major sits down in a large chair and sips his drink.
“Seen him around. Scrawny fellow. Pale. Hung around in the background a lot. Didn’t pay him any attention really.” The Major takes another swig of his drink and smacks his lips.
“I see.” You fish out the old picture and show it to him. “Do you recognize anyone in this photograph?”
The Major puts in a monocle and squints at the picture for a moment. “Ha. Old Cronos isn’t it? Seem to remember the woman from somewhere. Don’t know about the babies. All look alike to me.” He passes it back to you.
“What do you think of Josh sir? Is he capable of killing Harrow?”
The Major purses his lips in thought before answering. “Tricky one. Any real man is capable of killing I say. Seen enough of it in India don’t you know. Still, murder? Not sure the boy has it in him. Not sure of himself, that’s his problem. Don’t blame him really. Anyone who didn’t know their real parents has a part of themselves missing says I.”
“Josh is an orphan?” You are startled by this revelation. “Then who is Avanor?”
“Damn. Forgot that wasn’t generally known. I am getting old and forgetful.” The Major turns to you. “Forget what I just said. Josh doesn’t know it himself and I don’t really mean to hurt the lad. Seems there are enough problems going on just now as it is. Forget it I say.”
“Yes sir, but do you know his real parents? Who…”
“Forget it I say!” Blasts the Major, slamming his glass down on the table and standing up. “Now, if you will excuse me, it is time for my constitutional.” With that he turns and leaves the room, leaving you standing in the parlor alone.
“Interesting, very interesting,” you murmur and are about to leave when another door opens and Bridgette peers in.
“Hello Yu,” she says. “Was that my father shouting?”
“Oh, I am sorry to have disturbed you Miss Bridgette,” you say as she walks into the room yawning.
“No matter, I have had quite enough sleep for one day anyway, too much and I won’t sleep at night.”
You remember the scene from the other night and wink. “And you need your sleep eh Miss Bridgette.”
She looks puzzled. “Sorry Yu?”
You turn red. “I mean, you might not get enough at night eh? Slipping off to Josh’s room I mean?” You mumble the last part, quite embarrassed now.
“Yu! I assure you I have been up to no such hanky-panky! My father has forbidden such, and I agree with him. Carnal pleasures are for the properly married. I will ask you not to be so presumptuous.”
She seems deadly serious. “Please, forgive me,” you say, “I was out of turn. I apologize.”
She sniffs, but nods. “Very well. Now, may I help you with something?”
You show her the photo. “Do you recognize anyone in this photo?”
She looks at it, front and rear, but shakes her head and passes it back. “Sorry, before my time. Perhaps you should ask Daddy, or Veerch. Someone older anyway.”
You place the photo back in your pocket and nod. “Just one more thing if you would. Where were you the evening Samantha was murdered?”
She thinks a moment. “I was in the dining hall until a little past midnight, then I went to my room to bed.”
“You went directly to your room?”
“I don’t know what you are trying to imply,” she says, “but yes. Directly to my room.”
You nod. “One more thing Miss. Bridgette, and then I will be out of your hair. How would you describe Josh’s relationship with Harrow?”
She frowns for a second. “To tell you the truth, I didn’t like Harrow very much. He was always hanging around, followed Josh around like a puppy. Seemed quite devoted. He could be a nuisance sometimes; one likes a little privacy you know.”
“Thank you Miss. Bridgette. Sorry to take up so much of your time.”
She nods and you depart. “The pieces are coming together,” you say to yourself. Actually, it doesn’t seem very clear to you, but it sounds good. So far all you have is that Harrow seemed to like Josh, yet he was blackmailing him about something. Yet what? Josh didn’t have a lot of money did he? What could Harrow have wanted? And would that be enough to drive Josh to murder? If so, why now? What about Samantha? Why would anyone murder her, and who could have used such powerful magic under the Barrier?
You put these questions out of your mind and decide to see if you can find Veerch. Bridgette’s suggestion was a good one. Some of the older residents would likely know more about the photo.
>
You grab a bite to eat from the empty dining room before you head towards Veerch’s room. The manservant, Rupert, opens the door and lets you in. You find the witch in a rocking chair, apparently moving of its own accord, and knitting. She nods at a nearby chair when she sees you.
“Hello Mrs. Veerch,” you begin.
“Just Veerch please boy,” she interrupts.
“Er, sorry. I was just wondering, do you recognize anyone in this photo?”
Veerch squints at the photo. “Well, look at that. It’s Matilda and Cronos! When was this taken?” She flips the photo over. “20 years ago eh? Well, that would be about right.”
“Who is Matilda?” you ask.
Veerch doesn’t answer directly, but thinks a moment first. “Terrible scandal that would have been. Practically forgotten about that myself.” She looks at you. “I was sworn to secrecy, but I can tell you that Matilda was a maid here at this Hall.” She hands the photo back to you.
“What happened to her?”
She shrugs. “Go and ask Streeve, Alice’s father, if you want to know more. I believe she was related in some way to him.”
You nod and thank her before taking your leave. Things are beginning to look more interesting. It seems the group of people gathered in the hall are not quite as unrelated as they first appear.
Streeve then, you decide, before it is time to report to the Master.
You find Streeve alone in the reading room. He is browsing through some novels. He glances at you as you approach. “Quite the collection,” he says.
“Indeed.” You stand next to him a moment and look at the books.
Finally Streeve turns to you. “Yu isn’t it?”
“Yes sir. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?”
“I doubt I can be of much help I am afraid, I didn’t really know Harrow very well.”
“Well, I wanted to know if you recognized anyone in this photo.” You hand it to him.
Streeve looks at it and his eyes widen. “Where did you get this?” he asks abruptly.
“It seems the Count kept it. Do you know the woman?”
He nods. “Her name was Matilda. She used to work here, for the Count.”
“Her name was Matilda? She is no longer with us then?”
Streeve shakes his head. “No. The Count killed her.”
“I am sorry?? The Count…”
“Well, he didn’t strike her down, if that is what you mean, but he is responsible for her death, sure enough. She was a good woman. I knew her well before she came to the hall. She… she was my wife.” Streeve suddenly looks up, tears in his eyes. Turning to you he thrusts the photo at you. “Here damn you! Take this thing. I had put all that behind me. Curse you for reminding me.”
He walks briskly off, leaving you standing there, stunned.
>
You are in Etrax’s chambers. He nods as you finish your tale. “Very interesting.”
“So, what is our next step?”
Etrax looks at you. “Let me see. What would you suggest my apprentice, what do you think we should do now?”
You rub your chin and scratch your head. What next?
>>>>>>
Yu’s Notes:
Count Cronos is trapped in Limbo, though no one knows why.
His son, Rudolpohus was killed not too long ago in a lab accident, though Malcolm seems to think it there was more to it than that, he is the only one who thinks this.
Samantha was killed by some powerful death magic, despite the fact the Shield around the hall makes it very hard for the use of spells. Who could have managed such a feat? No one seems to have magic that powerful, unless the witch perhaps?
Sam was pregnant, two months, yet Simon was away on business about that time.
Simon seemed to dislike Harrow, not sure why.
The Butler has provided an old picture from about 20 years ago of the Count with a woman and two babies.
New information:
Harrow seems to have been blackmailing Josh for some reason.
Josh (and presumably Sam) were orphans, though they don’t/didn’t know this.
Was Bridgette the one Yu saw slip into Josh’s room that night? Is she lying because she is embarrassed? Or was it someone else Yu saw? If so, who?
Despite the blackmail, Harrow seems to have been quite close to Josh.
The woman in the picture was called Matilda. She seems to have worked here for the Count some years ago, but there was a scandal. She was married to Streeve before that, and he blames the Count for her death in some way.
>>>
So what now gentle reader? What course of enquiry should they pursue next? Get your detective hats on and suggest away!
<<<<<<
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 2:40 am Post subject: |
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Well, in a detective story, nothing is coinedence. The fact that Matilda had two children (presumably the same age) and that Josh and Sam (twins) were adopted, the likely conclusion in this type of story would be that they're the long lost children, and that's why they were invited.
However, I suspect they're the Count's children, as opposed to Streeve's, and he forced her to sleep with him.
I'd go and talk to Alice's Father, mainly because he hasn't yet been spoken too, and who knows what information he could know.
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Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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Is anyone else still reading this? I nearly put this story on hold before I wrote the latest chapter, but I hate giving up stories.
Maybe it has been too long between chapters. Mmmm.
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| I'm... well I will read it as soon as I get enough time (like in an hour or so)
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, this chapters is only bringing more confussion to me. Let's see...
In the picture is Matilda and the count with two babies.
The babies could:
A) be of one of them
1. Matilda and not count
2. Count and not Matilda
B) of both of them
Weird. While more information you got more questions appears 
This only complicate the situation but we know (I think) that the childrens are Josh and Sam.
Next.
A) Count Cronos is in limbo because someone wanted to erase him and all his decendent (just guessing, but everything poin to that). That's why Rudolpohus is also dead. This guide us to Samantha death. So maybe (and I said MAYBE) someone tried to kill Josh and failed. That's why Harrow is dead now.
B) Someone else (not the "real killer") is taking advantage of the "real killer"to kill Harrow and accuse the "real killer".
C) Harrow wanted Bridgette (who apparently was interested on Josh) and that's why he blackmailed him. With what? Well it isn't Bridgette who was with Josh.
Oh, God... China, you put my mind to work very hard that I'm confused. Maybe everyone is a killer (as said the Major  )
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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I've just caught up with this Chinaren, it's a great story, a well constructed mystery it seems.
unfortunately I'm at a loos for what to suggest. Looking for information from anyone that hasn't been spoken to yet sounds good.
I may be reading too much into the way Harrow acted but I think it was him sneaking into Josh's room. That would mean Josh was cheating on Bridgette with Harrow, and the blackmail note came from someone else who knew this. There's not enough info in the note to figure anything out (how convienient only certain world were not burned) so I'm stumped.
I think we need to find out who the blackmailer is, but I doubt the blackmailer would be the killer. What would he gain from killing Harrow? Either way I have no idea how to go about finding the blackmailer. We just need to know more about everybody 
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| Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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Wooo! :biggrin:
Some good deducing there by everyone!! You have re-energized my enthusiasm for this story.
Keep watching. 
[EDIT] - I have just updated the summary in the first post.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 10:05 am Post subject: |
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So far it seems as if Streeve had motive for killing Sam, and for offing the Count's legitmate heir. If Sam and Josh are the Count's illegitmate children foistered on Matilda, then getting his revenge on them could well be his way to get his own back.
As for Harrow - he could well have discovered some incriminating evidence about Streeve, or it could simply have been a second killer. I think it's important - if possible - to try and discover just how powerful the surviving suspects are. Maybe narrow down the possible people how could have cast the Death Magic.
Of course - it could always be a ghost, just to be annoying.
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Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
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Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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| Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 10:52 am Post subject: |
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Good thinking Argonaut. Maybe you are right about the blackmailer. But we haven't a method to obtain more information on it.
Let's find what Streeve have to say. I think that lord is right about he is a potencial suspect. So I think that we need to talk with him.
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| Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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Right then, so far we have:
| Quote: | | try and discover just how powerful the surviving suspects are. Maybe narrow down the possible people how could have cast the Death Magic. |
and...
| Quote: | | We just need to know more about everybody |
and...
| Quote: | | Let's find what Streeve have to say. |
I think I can manage all of those, so in the interests of speed I won't put a poll up, unless anyone else is reading and would like to suggest something not already done. If so, get the ideas in quick!
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:02 am Post subject: Chapter 6. Matilda. |
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Chapter 6. Matilda.
Etrax looks at you as you ponder the options. You take out the photo and look at it again. “If this was the Count, this is Matilda, who are the babies?” You flip the photo over briefly. “20 years ago, about the same age as Sam and Josh. Could this infact be them? If so, is Matilda the mother? Could the father be the Count? It would explain the scandal that Veerch mentioned.”
Etrax nods. “Now you are thinking. There are too many co-incidences here, but we cannot be sure. The photo proves nothing. We need to go and ask Streeve some more questions I think.” He strides over to the doorway. “Come, no time like the present.”
You follow your master down the hallway and towards Streeves' quarters. As you approach you hear raised voices, and the door flies open.
Veerch storms out, with Streeve close behind. “It is ancient history! You know I was sworn to silence! I have said nothing...” Veerch stops abruptly as she sees you looking.
“Indeed! So what are they doing here then? No one else knows!” Streeve shakes a finger at her.
Veerch glares at him so forcefully he steps back. “Next time you raise your finger to me young man, you will not regret it for long. I am a witch of my word mark you.” She looks around, bows hurriedly to you both, and marches off down the hallway without another word. You look at Streeve, who sags against the doorway.
“Who is it?” he says. “What do you want?”
“Streeve, I am Etrax Rigel, and I would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind. May we come in?”
“I do mind, and no you can't. If you are here about Matilda I am saying nothing! It is private business.” He tries to block the way, but Etrax steps around him.
“This will only take a moment sir. It could be directly related with the recent murders.”
Streeve relents and steps back. “Very well, but my information is limited, and what I have to say must not go further than this room.”
“Proceed, please,” says Etrax, and you notice he has not agreed to the terms. “What do you know of the lady and babies in the photograph?”
“The lady is Matilda. She was my wife. The Count is, well, the Count. I have suspicions about the children, but no evidence, so I will not speak of them.”
“You said your wife died, can you elaborate?” You say in gentle tones.
Streeve heaves a deep sigh. “We were married with one child, Alice. I was called up into service, the Empire was having troubles in India and I was in the reserves. At about the same time Matilda took employ in the service of the Count as a serving lady. I was sent overseas, where I fought in the Calcutta wars. I was away for nearly 18 months, and when I returned Matilda was pale and haggard. She was a different woman from the one I left.”
The monologue is interrupted as the door opens and Alice strolls in. She looks at everyone and then strides quickly over to her father. “Father! Are you alright? What are these gentlemen doing here?”
“We have some questions about your mother that must be asked,” says Etrax.
Alice's mouth tightens. “Leave him alone! Can't you see you are upsetting him?”
“I am sorry Miss, but we must do this,” Etrax turns back to Streeve. “Please, carry on.”
“There is little else to say,” says Streeve, sitting in an armchair. “The day after I returned from India Matilda took her own life. I found her... found her...” He breaks down, unable to continue.
Alice stoops by him. “Are you happy now? You should be questioning Josh, not my father!”
“And why is that?” You ask.
“Ha! Some detectives you are. Don't you know yet? Josh was having an affair with Harrow! That's right, you heard me. Harrow told me some time ago, but being a friend I felt I couldn't say anything. Now, leave, leave now!”
Etrax purses his lips for a moment, and then nods. You both let yourself out, closing the door behind you.
“So, Streeve was away for 18 months. More than enough time for scurrilous acts to take place.” Etrax closes his notebook. “I wish to think further on this. Meanwhile I want you to go and question Josh about this new information. Also find out anything you can about his father and mother. Use tact.”
You nod and Etrax walks away. You turn about and walk to Josh's room, going over the information in your mind. A picture is slowly building, but you can't see what it is yet. Certainly the relationship between Harrow and Josh is startling, and you can understand why they would wish to keep it secret. Such acts are hardly approved of.
The door to Josh's room is closed, and you knock on it loudly. No one answers, so you knock again. Still no response. You try the handle and push, to find the door open. Peering in it seems that the room is empty. Josh is nowhere to be seen.
You scratch your head and wander off down the corridor, walking around for a good ten minutes in a fruitless search. Finally you bump into Raith, the young, newly married woman you met at dinner the other night.
“Hello,” she says, in a friendly way. “How is your investigation going? Any progress?”
“Information is coming out slowly,” you answer.
“Oh, whilst you are here, maybe you can help me with something.”
“I will do my best of course.”
“One of my husbands wands has gone missing.”
You raise an eyebrow. “His wands?”
“Yes, didn't I mention? Heath is a wand salesman. He just found out that someone has taken one from his pack, it was in our room, under the bed.”
“I see,” you say. “What did it do?”
“He said it was a sleep model, I can't tell you the full specifications I am afraid.”
“I will look into it,” you say. “Whilst I remember, do you by any chance know anyone in this old photo?” You pass her the picture and she examines it.
“Oh! Yes, this is the Count and I think that is, what was her name now? Ma... Matilda! That was it. Yes. My mother used to work for the Count, about the same time I think. She has shown me photos from that period. From what I heard the Count was a terrible one for bothering the female staff. My mother resigned her post because of it, so she says. I recognize Matilda because she was a favorite of the Master, so mother says. She wasn't very popular with the other girls because of it.” Raith frowns. “Some sort of scandal there too, if I recall.” She hands the photo back and smiles suddenly. “Anyway, ancient history now eh? If you would excuse me, I must be on my way.”
You bow and she moves off, leaving you to resume your search for Josh. An idea hits you and you smack your forehead with your hand. Of course! He is probably with his father!
You turn back and head towards Avanor's room, knocking on the door once you are there. There is a pause and then:
“Come!”
You enter, to find Avanor alone, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror. “Hello again Yu,” he says. “How may I help you?”
“I was looking for Josh, I thought he may be here?”
“I left him in his room a little while ago,” replies Avanor, “he said he was going to rest.”
You frown. “He wasn't there just now. Where could he be?”
Avanor shrugs. “It is a big house, could be anywhere.”
You pause and then broach the subject. “Avanor, I have learned that Sam and Josh are adopted.”
Avanor stops fiddling with his tie, looks at you, then sighs. “I suppose it couldn't remain a secret forever. Have you told Josh? He doesn't know.”
“Not yet,” you shake your head.
Avanor walks over to the drinks cabinet, pouring himself a whisky. “Would you like one?”
You shake your head.
“Fair enough.” He sips at his drink.
“Would you mind revealing his real parentage?”
Avanor shakes his head. “I am sorry, I actually don't know.” He raises his hand as you are about to speak. “It is a spell, I know that much, and I know I agreed to the deal. I have just no memory of the real parents, so it is no use asking me. I can't tell you.”
You open your mouth to ask another question, but are interrupted by screams. “Not again!” You both rush out and run down the corridor, towards the sound of the screams which appear to be coming from Streeve's room.
Indeed, you round the corner and see Alice, sobbing and being supported by Veerch. You push past and get a sense of deja-vu as you see the prone form of Streeve, lying on the floor, a knife embedded in his chest. You have no doubt he is quite dead.
>>>>>>
The body count rises! Who could be the killer? And what to do now?
Suggestions please! This tale is nearly done, the pieces are on the table, and the final chapter is ever closer!
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 3:37 am Post subject: |
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On this one I have three suspects. Josh, the witch and Alice.
But I think that now we need to find Josh. He could clarify a lot of things. Right now he is the one I could accuse to be the killer.
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:46 am Post subject: |
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The missing sleep wand could account for the knife murders. When you are asleep you don't struggle. That is assuming a wand would work in here.
I still can't figure out the motives. Maybe I should go back a re-read some stuff.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:13 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Matilda stoops by him. “Are you happy now? You should be questioning Josh, not my father!” |
Don't you mean Alice stoops by him? Matilda's dead, surely.
Well, as far as we know, Alice was with him the entire time. It's probably been no more than 30 mins since you last saw him, possibly even less. Question everyone as usual.
Harrow and Josh may have beeen having an affair, but Harrow was also supposedly blackmailing Josh. Of course, that could (and probably is) the blackmail.
It's always possible that Josh discovered he was adopted, and has learnt (or at least believes) that he is the Count's son. For that reason, he is attempting to murder of the Count's other descendants (his sister and half-brother). Harrow could have been blackmailing Josh into sleeping with him as he knew this.
I could be wrong though, and Alice could instead be the murderer. She had the oppurtunity, and as far as we know she was alone with her father.
In summary, the only thing you can do know is the usual - ask questions, check for prints, general forensic magic.
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| Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Where you get it???
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I voted wand, maybe like, the witch can cast a spell on it to see who was the last user...okay got that from harry potter, sue me. I've only read like one book anyways. Took me a time to read all the chapters actually, some of them are quite long. Anyways, can't wait for the fina chapter(s)!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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Just in time Fenny! I plan to write the (just about) last chapter inthe next few days, to close this one off.
Good idea about the wand by the way, even if it was stolen.
So any other votes, get 'em in quick!
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| Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 7:40 am Post subject: Chapter 7. WHO DUNNIT? |
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Chapter 7. WHO DUNNIT?
“He is quite dead,” says Veerch, as you look at her.
“What is going on here?” Your master's voice cuts through the gathering crowd. He pushes through and looks into the room, and then at Veerch and Alice. “Get her to another room,” he orders, and the witch nods and hustles the sobbing figure away.
He turns to the people that have gathered. “The rest of you, unless you saw something, please, return to your rooms. I will inform you of any relevant information. Please, lock your doors and be careful.”
The small crowd grumbles and mutters, but disperse non the less.
You enter the room with Etrax and look around as he squats over the corpse. Unlike the other murders, this one is recent. You spoke to Streeve barely more than thirty minutes ago. Even so, the room looks to be in good order. A drink is still on the bedside table, a small amount of liquid still left. You pick it up and smell it. Water.
Etrax stands up. “Similar, and yet not, to the other knife death.”
“Who could it be? Veerch was arguing with him when we saw him. Could it be her? Of course, Alice was with him when we left, and it was not long ago.”
“Alice could have left a minute after us, that proves nothing. Even so, why kill her own father?”
You shrug. “If it is Veerch, then she could have been feeding us false information all along.”
Etrax nods and scratches his chin. 'My mind is full of patterns. For this case, I see several of them, yet merging. There is more than one story here.” He turns as Veerch enters the room.
“Before you say anything,” the witch says, “I was in my room. Rupert saw me enter, though he left shortly after on an errand, so I have no witnesses. Still, I give you my word as a Senior Witch that I had no part in this deed.”
Etrax nods. “If you would be kind enough to cast your senses over the body, I would appreciate it if you could glean any information about the last few moments of his life.”
Veerch walks over to the body and looks down a moment. After a slight pause she begins a spell. Even you can see the effort it takes her.
The spell has no visible effects, though the witch stops casting and looks into space, to something only she can see. Finally she slumps and staggers over to the bed.
Etrax pours a glass of water and offers it to her.
“Thank you,” she says, draining the glass. “Magic is becoming harder to use as the mana within the barrier is used up. I fear I will not be able to cast many more spells.”
“What did you find out?” you ask.
The witch shakes her head and looks up as Rupert enters, a concerned look on his face.
“Mistress, you are overdoing it. You need rest,” he says.
She waves him away. “I know what I am doing.” She turns to Etrax. “The death is devoid of magic. Within the last 20 minutes is all I could narrow it down to. There were strong words exchanged in this room recently. I am sorry, that is all I could detect.”
Etrax moves close and performs a slight bow. “That is more than I could ask for Madam Witch. Please, you should rest.”
Veerch nods and allows Rupert to lead her away.
Etrax waits until they have left and then looks at you. “So, my apprentice, what are your thoughts on the murder scene?”
You take another look around, concentrating on the body this time. Streeve is lying in the middle of the floor. His face seems to be locked in an expression of shock, though that could just be your imagination. The knife, a common household knife, which could be found in a hundred places, is embedded squarely in his chest. You look closer. On his hand there is a trace of something. Could it be blood? His clothes are as you last saw him in, and appear to be in good order still.
You look at Etrax for permission and he nods. Searching through the pockets you find nothing of great interest. Some change, a watch and a wallet. You open the wallet and find a picture, an old one, which seems to be of Matilda. There is nothing else of interest, and you pass it to your master, who frowns.
Eventually you stand and scratch your head. “It seems to be much the same as the last murder,” you say.
“Except I don't think this one is quite the same. There is evidence of an argument,” Etrax gestures. “Look over there, “the waste basket has been knocked over, perhaps kicked from the dent in the side, and then righted again.”
“How can you tell?
“There is still some trash on the floor under the bed which must have rolled under there when it was knocked over.”
“That could have been the maid,” you point out.
Etrax shrugs. “So it could, yet I doubt the maid would miss such, the Count was very particular about such things.”
You look around. “I see nothing here that could help us. We should question Alice.”
Etrax agrees. “I will do so. In the meantime I want you to return to Harrow's room. Turn it upside down. I want you to look for anything suspicious. If you find anything let me know at once.”
You nod and head out of the door and back to Harrow's room.
The chamber is unnaturally cold. You pull your jacket closer as you start to go through everything. You perform a sweep of the drawers first, removing them and checking underneath. Nothing. You are about to start on the bed when the door to the closet creaks open.
You look and shiver. It seems suddenly colder. Still, you brace yourself and walk over to the cupboard , which is full of clothes, presumably Harrow's. As you look a sleeve of a jacket seems to twitch. After initially stepping back you force yourself forward and pull out the jacket. Something falls to the floor as you do so, and you bend down to see a slim black stick.
Could this be the missing sleep wand?
A cold wind sweeps through the room, causing the drapes to swing. Forgoing forensic methods you grab the slim stick and run out of the room, slamming the door behind you.
Once your heart has resumed something of it's usual speed, you head immediately for Streeve's chambers. Etrax isn't there, but the butler is. “Your master indicated he would be with Ms. Veerch and Alice in the room along the hall,” the old man says.
You thank him and walk to the door indicated, briefly knocking before entering.
It is a suite. In the main room Veerch and Etrax are sitting at a table and speaking in low voices. Etrax is also sipping on a clear drink. He looks up at you as you enter and raises an eyebrow. “Alice is sleeping,” he gestures at a door. “What do you have for me my apprentice?”
You set the wand down on the table. “This was in Harrow's room. Hidden in a jacket. I have a... hunch he would have wanted us to find it.
Veerch leans close and mutters a cantrip under her breath. “Mmm, interesting,” she says. “It is totally drained of power.”
“Can you find out who used it last?” asked Etrax.
Veerch looks at him. “This will be my last magic, for my powers are at their limit,” she says.
Etrax nods and you both watch as she once more summons the Powers to perform her bidding. Etrax turns to you as she does so. “Alice says she left her father and went down to the dining hall to fetch him some food. She returned to find him murdered.”
“Indeed,” you say and are about to say more when Veerch groans and slumps forward.
“It was Harrow,” she croaks. “Harrow was the last user of this device.”
“Thank-you mistress,” says Etrax. He looks at you. “Find Josh. Stay with him, however long it takes. Be on your guard.”
“Yes sir,” you say. “What should I look for?”
“Just be on your guard, and don't leave his side,” says your employer.
You nod your understanding and leave the room, turning at random down a corridor.
It takes half an hour, but you find Josh by literally bumping into him as you walk around a corner.
“Josh!” You exclaim. “Where have you been?”
Josh looks pale. “I have been walking in the gardens, thinking. Now, if you will excuse me it is getting late, I am tired and wish to turn in.”
“I am sorry, but I have orders to accompany you.”
Josh looks at you a second, as if about to complain, but then he sighs and pushes back his hair. “Whatever you like.” He walks off and you follow him to his room, standing embarrassed as he closes the curtains and slumps onto the bed.
“I am drained,” he says, and closes his eyes.
You move away and sit in a chair in a dark corner of the room. The clock in the corner is ticking, and the slowly your eyelids droop.
>
You jerk awake. Someone is in the room! You watch as a hooded figure, dressed in black, slowly sneaks towards the bed. The person has obviously not seen you sitting in the corner.
It approaches the sleeping figure of Josh and to your horror, raises a knife high in the air above him, poised to strike!
You don't hesitate, but leap at the assassin, knocking them to the ground just as the door bursts open and Etrax dives in, helping you to subdue the struggling figure.
“Well done my apprentice,” he says as you both rest, panting, sitting on the intruder. “I suspected Josh's life would be in danger, but I didn't think the murderer would be so eager to finish him off.”
“Wha...” Josh wakes up and takes in the scene with puzzled eyes. “What is going on here? Who is that?”
“This,” says Etrax grandly, “is the one behind the dastardly deeds done over the last few days in this hall.”
So saying he grabs the hood of the captive. “Behold! I present to you our murderer...”
So saying he whips off the hood to reveal...
>>>>>>
Oooh! Who is it?
Okay, I know it isn't really SGame protocol, but I already know who it is. I just thought I would give you a final chance to state who you think did it!
Let's hear your thoughts and I will do a final 'wrap up' chapter...
<<<<<<
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| Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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COOL! You used my idea, wat sun, wat! lol.
It is...Bridgett! I have no idea why though...because she's a little b****?, thats a good one!
lol kidding, how about...gah! Must think!
Last edited by Guest on Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry Chinaren, I can't figure it out, how whould knowing that Harrow used the wand last allow Etrax to figure out who the killer was? Or even that Josh was the next target? who was the blackmailer?
If Josh and Sam were the count's iligitimate children, the killer could be tring to remove any possible inheritors of the count's holdings. But no-one else has any claim on the inheritence. Furthermore why kill Harrow and Streeve?
I can't figure out a motive to connect the murders, or even what it has to do with the count being in limbo, which it the reason for this whole mess. Unless there are multiple killers (which seems not to be the case) or perhaps multiple motives (you've discovered my secret not you must die) I just don't get it. And how was the first murder done with magic?
Etrax better have one hell of a wrap up speech about how everything actually happened. I hate it when I can't figure these things out.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Etrax better have one hell of a wrap up speech about how everything actually happened. I hate it when I can't figure these things out. |
Well, this is my first ever attempt at this kind of story, so I hope everything makes sense in the end!!
I will start writing the wrap-up, and then you can flame me/praise me or both, depending on what you think!
Now I am nervous. 
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:20 pm Post subject: Chapter 8. It was Murder! |
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Chapter 8. It was Murder!
“You!” you cry. “But why?”
The murdered shouts, “Get off me! Get off my stomach!”
“Easy,” says Etrax, “get up Yu, but be careful.”
“Why?” you say, getting up. “Why? Why should you want to kill Josh?”
“Indeed, what have I ever done to you?” asks Josh, sitting up on his bed.
“You were born,” the murderer replies, and sits down in a chair.
You look at Etrax for an explanation.
“It wasn't easy, but all the pieces pointed to the Count and his family somehow. Josh's secrets didn't help me.”
“His secrets?” you ask, looking at Josh, who hung his head.
“Remember, you saw someone slip into Josh's room the first night? You assumed it was Bridgette, performing an illicit liaison, but in-fact it was Sam, his own sister, who he was having an incestuous affair with. It was her, not Bridgette, that you saw. Bridgette was still in the hall with several of us. Indeed, Sam was pregnant by Josh, conception occurring whilst Simon was away on business.”
“So who killed Sam? And why?”
“This is where it gets a little complicated,” says Etrax. “Josh is a handsome lad. He was chased not only by the ladies, but by others too.”
“Harrow?” you ask.
“Indeed,” replies Etrax. “Harrow was in love with Josh, but Josh wasn't interested. Then Harrow, somehow, found out about Josh and Sam. He used that information to blackmail Josh into having... relations with him.”
“Sam and Harrow?” you say, looking at Josh with your eyebrows raised.
“And Bridgette of course, though the relationship was more formal than his illicit affairs.”
“So Harrow killed Sam because he was jealous?”
“Yes Harrow killed Sam, but the idea was not his. Harrow let slip his knowledge to his close friend at school, who decided to make use of the knowledge by blackmailing Harrow in turn. Harrow was told to murder Sam.”
You look back at Etrax, who continues.
“That night you overheard someone talking. It was our murderer, egging on Harrow. Later that Harrow sneaked into Sam's room, before Simon returned, and killed her with powerful magic. But how? Harrow was no master wizard. No, he stole one of Heart's wands, a sleep wand. However, turned up to full power, and used repeatedly, it could kill, overdose if you will. Harrow killed Sam.”
“Then Harrow was killed in turn?”
“Yes, he was getting nervous. Harrow had had an argument with Josh, and was threatening to come clean, something the murderer couldn't allow, As the murderer was a friend of Harrow, they were able to take him by surprise. They killed Harrow and left clues pointing to Josh, in an effort to mislead.”
“The note?”
“Yes indeed. However, the paper in fireplace was placed there. The location of it was suspicious. Everything else was well burnt. It had obviously been put there afterwards, to be found.”
“So what about Streeve then? Why kill Streeve? That makes no sense,” said Josh.
Streeve? I suspect it was an accident, they got into an argument. Streeve was saying Etrax was too close, and they should abort the plan, the killer disagreed, and killed him in a fit of rage.”
Yo u look at the killer.
“So Alice killed her own father.”
Alice scowls at you from her chair. “I didn't mean to, but he was always weak. A weak man.” She turns to Etrax. “How did you know I did it?”
“I had narrowed it down to several people, but you said you left the room to get Streeve some food, and when you came back you found him dead. You overlooked one small thing though. Where was the food?”
Alice scowls.
“So that is how, but why? Why kill two people, and cause the death of another. Let alone try and kill me?” Josh asks.
“She killed three people,” you say, suddenly catching on.
“Correct,” says Etrax. “Rudolphus' death wasn't an accident. Alice is a potions major. She changed a key ingredient in his experiment. Malcolm noticed the switch afterwards, but Alice was clever, and no one could detect how it was done.”
“That just leaves the why,” you say.
“Several reasons,” Etrax looks at Alice. “First, revenge. The Count was, indirectly, responsible for Matilda's death. The Count had an affair with Matilda, resulting in offspring, a pair of twins.”
“The photo!” you say.
“That is right, Josh is the bastard son of Count Cronos. However, such an event would have caused great scandal, so the Count forced Matilda to give the children away, to Avanor, paying him to bring up the children as if they were his own.”
“But also casting a spell on him, with his agreement, so he would forget the details!” Josh says.
“That's right. However, Matilda couldn't take the loss, and eventually, overcome with grief and guilt, killed herself.”
“So Alice, who was Matilda's first daughter, found this out, and decided to take revenge,” you say.
“Nearly. She didn't know the reason her mother killed herself, but she knew the Count was behind it. She must have planned her vengeance for years. She joined the same school as Rudolphus. They became friends, and, if my suspicion is right, more than that. From the way she acted when you sat on her, she is bearing Rudolphus's child.”
“She wanted to bear the heir to the Count's fortune!”
“As soon as she knew she was pregnant, which can be determined almost at once with modern magics, she killed Rudolphus. Unfortunately, at about the same time, she became aware of Josh and Sam.”
“Who would be in line for the Count's money too!”
“She had to get rid of them. This gathering was highly fortuitous, and perhaps a little bit of self fulfilling prophecy. The Count was old. The death of his only son speeded up his demise, yet he could not be free until he knew the truth about his heir, and about who would succeed him. Hence this gathering, which was ironically when Alice found out about Sam and Josh.”
A cold wind fills the room, and a transparent figure steps forward. It is the Count. “My legacy has been fulfilled, the killer of my son discovered. I am free, as are you all,” he says. “Your fee will be paid Mr. Rigel.” He turns and looks at Josh and Alice in turn, a strange expression on his face, then there is a flash of white light, and he is gone.
>>>>>>
There you go then. Finished. Alice dunnit.
This sort of story is not easy to write! My hat goes off to Ms. Christie!
I especially found it hard to do good decision points for this story, any hints/ideas on what I could have done better helpful. I realize better character and clue round ups would be helpful. Also less characters all at once in the introduction.
Detective stories seem to be quite hard to write in SGame format. The D points often have lots of options, but it seems that most of them should/would be done. Like: 1. Search the room 2. Question the suspects. Etc. These should really both be done, so I need to figure out some sort of better way of doing DPs before I do another of these.
Having said that, I do have a sequel is in mind, though it is only vague at the moment. The sequel, when/if I write it, will not be in this same format, and would be in more of a detective story with different locations.
Anyway, thanks for reading/playing, and my thanks to Argo for the great pic of Etrax and Yu!
F 'the record, this was the first story on IF (I think) to have a 'cover', at least from the off. It was the first one to have an animated 'cover' that's for sure.
Now if you will excuse me, I must PM Smee for my 100Fables!
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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JezSharp
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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Well I've only just breezed through this one , so I can't really comment too much on how it can be improved...wish I'd been following it from the start though and had a go at guessing who had done it . One thing that struck me about it was that it was a rather convoluted genology - the number of people related to other people was confusing me - perhaps some more distinctive characters - (although I have jumped parts and skim read and I am never ever good at coping with keeping track of who's who if there are more than 5 people so these comments may be wide of the mark )
One idea would be to have different people playing various parts such as murdere, victim, each guest in the house, detective - however I'm not quite sure how to practically make that work. Dp wise...tricky, unless you were to write the story from the murderer's point of view and constantly have the readers directing him/her - but this still comes up against the same problems to a lesser extent, e.g Should you remove the prints on the murder weapon or wipe your prints of the door - both.
Anyway I look forward to a future Murder Mystery style story being an avid fan of Agatha Christie's works .
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:26 am Post subject: |
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It was a good story. I almost know who did it but you know, the false clue took me.
For improve your skill, well you know what you need (as you wrote it).
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:59 am Post subject: |
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Everything makes sense, but I don't think there were enough clues for the reader to get everything that Etrax got. I'm not sure how to make better DPs but in this kind of story you really need to give every clue to the reader, so in the end they say "ahh I get it now".
Perhaps it's because of the time between reading each chapter. I certainly forgot some clues that should probably have been more obvious to me. When you go back and read it, everything fits together, I'm no mystery writer myself so I'm not sure how to do it any better.
Still a very cool story, and a satisfying (and slightly mind boggling) conclusion. I'd say it's pretty fantastic for a first mystery story ever.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks guys.
Yes, the clues. Very tricky this one. I must admit, I erred on the side of 'caution' here. I didn't want to make it too easy! People are far more clever than me at these things, and though I can never get it, others do.
The clues need to be just a right balance, enough to allow the possibility of guessing it, but not to make it too easy. Also they need to be dribbled out at a reasonable rate over the course of the tale. I agree, there were probably not quite enough.
You also have a point with the speed. This kinda SGame needs to be done reasonably quickly, so people don't forget what came before, though a clue roundup would help. However, I wanted people to get some 'on their own'.
Ah well, next time!
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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You are right china, we can't have too much clues because we could find it. Also I just thought on the real murder because of the last one. I couldn't find how to fill her with the others.
Still very good story. Hope to see other one about mystery and deads soon.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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See, why did you have to write the final so quickly - didn't give me a chance to finger Alice.
And... | Quote: | | It was her, not Sam, that you saw. Bridgette was still in the hall with several of us. Indeed, Sam was pregnant by Josh, conception occurring whilst Simon was away on business. |
The first Sam should actually be Bridgette.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry Lordy, I wanted to wrap it up. Anyway, welcome back.
Fixed the typo, thanks!
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