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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 6:46 pm    Post subject: The Dear Dotty FAQ Reply with quote

Welcome, Dear Dotty readers! Here you can find the answers to all your questions about Dotty and the award-winning column that bears her name. Simply click on a question to see the answer.

1. Who is Dotty?
2. Where can I find the Dear Dotty column?
3. How frequently does Dear Dotty appear?
4. What awards has Dear Dotty won?
5. Is it true that Our Leader himself reads Dear Dotty?
6. I have a question for Dotty. How do I send it to her?
7. Dotty didn't answer my question. Why not?
8. How can I find out the status of my question?
9. I love Dotty! Where can I discuss her column with other Dear Dotty fans?
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Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:23 pm; edited 10 times in total
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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

1. Who is Dotty?

Dorothea Layton, aka "Dear Dotty", is the country's most popular advice columnist. Her column appears in every issue of Our Leader's Ledger. Drawing on a lifetime of accumulated experience and wisdom, Dotty gives practical yet heartfelt answers to the questions that plague people all over our great nation - people just like you.

"It's not just a job; it's a calling," says Dotty about her column. "I feel so blessed to live in our great nation, serve Our Leader, and do my small part to help my troubled fellow citizens stay on the right path. I sympathize with my readers so much. I know what it feels like to be confused and lost in the world. I finally found my way, and now I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, where God and Our Leader wanted me to be. And I want to give back as much as I can."

Dotty lives alone in an undisclosed location. She has completed her maternal obligations, and her husband is deceased.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

2. Where can I find the Dear Dotty column?

Dear Dotty appears in print in every issue of Our Leader's Ledger. The column is posted here on the Dear Dotty website within a few days of its print release. Recently, the Dear Dotty Archives have been added, so you can now find many of Dotty's older columns right here!

Update: We are pleased to announce that Dear Dotty is now easier to find than ever. Started with the next issue, Dotty's wonderful column can be found on the front page of Our Leader's Ledger. Of course, the online edition of Dear Dotty will continue to be posted here. Congratulations, Dotty!
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

3. How frequently does Dear Dotty appear?

Dear Dotty appears in every issue of Our Leader's Ledger. Because of the paper and ink rationing that are a necessary part of our great nation's battle against the heathens beyond our shores, publication of the Ledger is irregular and it is impossible to give a precise schedule. We apologize for the inconvenience, but we know that our citizens understand that the war effort outweighs our need for timely information.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

4. What awards has Dear Dotty won?

Dotty's wonderful column has been honored with many awards and other commendations over the years. We here at the Dear Dotty website are working to compile a complete list, which we plan to post soon. The most recent award for Dear Dotty came from this obscure organization, which named her column the Most Original and Stylish of the year.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

5. Is it true that Our Leader himself reads Dear Dotty?

In response to queries from the Dear Dotty website, Our Leader's communications director has explained that, for national security reasons, Our Leader's choice of reading material cannot be released. Therefore, we cannot give a definitive answer. However, we have received mail from several readers who claim to have seen Our Leader holding a copy of the Ledger, open to one of the pages in the back (which, of course, is where one would find Dear Dotty before her recent promotion to the front page). All we can say is: decide for yourselves.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

6. I have a question for Dotty. How do I send it to her?

There are two ways to send a question to Dotty. First, you can mail it to the address given at the bottom of the print edition of her column. Second, you can post your letter directly to the Dear Dotty website. Simply go to Dotty's Mailbox and post your question there.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

7. Dotty didn't answer my question. Why not?

Dotty receives thousands of letters every month. Unfortunately, even though she wishes she could answer every one, it is obviously an impossible task. That said, Dotty herself has given some advice on what kinds of letters she does and does not like to respond to:

Dotty wrote:
One of the most common questions I am asked by my readers is, “Dotty, you must get so many letters, how do you decide which ones to answer?” It is true that I receive many thousands of letters every week from troubled readers all across our great nation. I do wish I could answer each and every one, but of course I have only a few column inches (and the editor refuses to make this an All-Dotty paper, ha ha). There is a process by which my wonderful staff and I winnow the letters down to the select few, and today I’d like to share a bit of our thought process with you.

I’m always looking for questions about real problems that will resonate with a wide swath of citizens. Questions about relationships, love, betrayal, loss, family, duty, ethics, etc. The questions that really grab me have a timeless quality as well: I often ask myself, “would this question be as meaningful a hundred years ago, or a hundred years from now?” Often, letters focus on very specific or parochial concerns (complaints about garbage removal, for example) or on settled matters of fact, doctrine, or procedure (if you find a forbidden artifact from the Old Times, your local clergyman is much better positioned than I to tell you when your town’s Burning Days are). As important as these issues are to the writer (and believe me, I know that they are), I fear that I cannot in good faith use my national column to address what, sadly, amount to minutiae and will be of little help to my readership at large.


The only advice we can add to this is that the letters Dotty answers tend to be short. She has only so many column inches, and a long question leaves very little space for an answer.
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Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!
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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

8. How can I find out the status of my question?

It is impossible for Dotty to respond to every question. However, we here at the Dear Dotty website have entered into a collaboration with Dotty's staff to start getting more information out to Dotty's loyal readers regarding the status of their questions.

Here's how it works. Look through Dotty's Mailbox to find your letter. If it's there, scroll to the bottom. You will see a comment from a member of Dotty's staff regarding the status of that particular question. If your letter does not have a comment, please return periodically to check for updates.
_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

9. I love Dotty! Where can I discuss her column with other Dear Dotty fans?

We're glad you asked! We ourselves began as huge fans of Dotty and her wonderful column. We started this website in the hopes of finding other like-minded citizens.

In the Dear Dotty Fan Club, we talk about all things Dotty. Come join the conversation!
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Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!
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