 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Author |
Chapter |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
 Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: Beyond Good and Evil -Ch8- "All The Finer Things" |
 |
|
Prlg - "It Begins... Once Again..."
The clocks continued ticking as the bells rang, tearing the night air with their melody. The sound bounced off the building walls and echoed in the distance. The same way that Valentine's Day brings joy to humanity, the night would bring terror. Not immediate peril for the humanity, nor would it be obvious to the humans. It never was. People continued with their lives and it seemed as if it was just another day... only with Cupid and the hearts. Saint Trinity Church was a lonely place to be in on that cold night, or so it would seem to an innocent bystander. But in there much more happened than people wanted to admit.
A man in cleric's garments was kneeling at the small step that led to the altar and the position from which the priest held the sermon. His lips were shaking, his eyelids moved rapidly, his breathing was irregular. The cold and vast spaces of the church were enough to make a man tremble. Was it because of the monolithic proportions or the low temperature, or a bit of both knew only the person which would entered it.
There were two lines of pillars, one on each side of the room surrounding the fancy coated pews, and it seemed like they put the persons sitting in them in a cage. On the pedestal that held the Holy Book laid a small silk-embedded notebook, lit by candles that spread their light far from the altar on which they were placed. A figure that represented Jesus on a large wooden crucifix overlooked the room and pitied the man that submissively laid on the rough carpet and prayed. The man's trance ended and he stumbled. He coughed so hard that the whole church seemed to return to life. A nun hurried and aided him...
"Father Deveraux! Yet again!" she scolded him, Surpassing the bells' magnificent tones that rumbled in cacophony. "How many times have I told you not to kneel here on the cold floor!", she was yelling at the man as she passed him a napkin and held his wiry shoulders. "You should come with me to the rectory and help us with our preparations!"
"To prepare *cough* the bodies and to *cough* prepare the souls are two very different things. Now, I think that you prepared *cough cough* damn cold! Ah, it's happening again. Just like when Jesus came..." He stopped and looked at the large crucifix a bit. "I believe you prepared the nuns and the young clerics in the best possible way, Nancy. Now it's up to them to decide whether they will make it easy or hard for us... and it's up to us to make it through, whatever the outcome."
A man in a similar robe as the priest's slammed the rectory door open and rushed into the room. He was breathing very abruptly and coughed because of all the dust that flew through the air. The few faint light beams that peeked into the room were now clearly visible as the dust particles floated, following their own trajectory.
He managed to scream the words "Father Deveraux! The portal! We need you in the sanctuary right away!", ignoring his panting that was almost intolerable to him.
With a bit of help from his kith, Nancy, Father got up on his old but still strong knees and squeezed the crucifix that laid in his hand through the whole prayer.
"Let's make sure *cough* everything goes as planned, sister Nancy." he said almost hissing "We don't want to be caught unprepared."
He slowly waddled in a zig-zag line still weak, his matron holding him under his arm. His heavy leather boots thumped underneath his robe, giving the one who stood near him a feeling that the old man weighted 300 pounds. They reached the door and the aspirant cleric closed them as they entered. The corridor led to the sanctuary, but they had to make a stop first. Father Deveraux entered his quarters to reclaim something that was of vital importance, for sure.
"The evil must not get them." he said "And if it does, it will be over my dead body or drained soul."
He lit a small torch that was placed on the wall and examined the well known room. It was a pretty modest setting, with only a simple wooden bed and a work desk on one side and a wardrobe on the other. On the desk laid a parchment which he rolled down and put safely in his robe.
Then, like struck by lightning he jumped to the wardrobe. He pulled out the drawers filled with spare garments and threw them on the other side of the room. He had finally reached small door in the wall and drew out a key which was hung on a chain that rested on his chest. He put it in the lock. First turning it 90 degrees left and then 180 degrees to the right, he opened the door with a click.
On the hidden shelf laid a box. It was a medium-large sized box with brown leather casing. There was a lock on it as well. He put the same key he withdrew to unlock the hidden door and made a similar move. First he turned it right for 90 degrees and then a half-circle to the left. He inadvertently turned his back, so when he pryed it open to see if everything was in order the nun and the young cleric only saw a multi-colored glow radiating from the box and making pretty shapes on the ceiling above Father's head.
Without a word he holstered the box at his hip so it was tightly bound to his body. Not everyone knew why he joined the St. Trinity church and why did he adore that box so much. It was more than just material value to him. Oh yes, much more. Only on rare occasions he left his room without it. He, who they called Father in his church and Guardian in Vatican, he who deracinated more evil than any other priest registered and who now trembled over the times yet to come. Yes, it was him. For many people insignificant, for many people an idol.
But his work was not yet done. He bent down into the wardrobe once more. There was a plank that served as the bottom of the sturdy cabinet. He grabbed it firmly near the edges and pulled. The nun and cleric heard the planks cracking, but only the cleric had a strange look on his face. The nun already knew the drill. The young man watched his elder withdraw a large piece of leather clothing.
Once again, Father put the leather trenchcoat that was feared among those who knew what it meant. It rattled a bit, and when he checked it out minutely he found that it was still fitting perfectly. The young man couldn't hide the surprise from his face. Deveraux found that very amusing. This dog still had one helluva bite and many people were astounded by it in the past.
Deveraux shook his shiny leather sleeves and stated "Let's go. Father Thomas will be in trouble soon."
They rushed through the badly lit corridors, avoiding all the doors along the way until they reached the end. Those passages surely weren't for those claustrophobic, or arachnophobic for that matter. In the end stood a heavy door with large wooden and metal pieces to support it. Father Deveraux pressed a tablet on the nearby wall which fell into the cold stone a bit. Few moments after a heavy mechanism was heard screeching and turning. The door opened and the dynamic trio rushed in.
"Everything is ready, Father! We've taken every precaution we could think of!"
The room had no lights, but it was pretty well lit. It was a rotund room with thick stone walls. There were six pillars set at equal distances, and besides them stood monks, clerics and priests of all ranks.
"The First Order sent an agent to accompany us!" said an older cleric that followed them to a rampart that was set up in the room. In the middle of the room stood a pedestal with six steps and horn-like spikes on the top of it's ziggurat-ish construction. By the looks of the men in the room, they were preparing for something bad. Very bad.
The agent of the First Order approached the three newcomers. "Father Deveraux I presume. A pleasure to meet ya. My name is Jonah." he said and offered his hand for a handshake. The leather monk shook that hand in a way worthy of his reputation. Jonah backed a little.
"What are you doing here, Father Jonah? I thought it was my job to watch over this checkpoint."
"The Order thought that you would need extra firepower, so they've sent me."
"I thought so, they were planning to get rid of me for some time." Deveraux thought. "Nevertheless, I must play their game for now, or we are all doomed.". He looked over Jonah's shoulder and saw the light that lit the room has been growing more intense. The spikes were pulsating in multiple colors.
"To your posts! Don't let any of them come through!" he shouted the battle cry and took a cleric weapon that laid on a table along with spare ammunition. The glow eventually became more intense and a small ball appeared about two feet above the pedestal. The ball zapped into triple size and was blue-black, filled with lightning bolts.
"So, this is it." said Deveraux. "Let's send them some Halleluiah's men! Fortes fortuna iuvat!*"
--------------------------------
*Fortune favors the bold
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Last edited by Cyberworm on Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:49 pm; edited 41 times in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 4:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'll give more info about the SG later this week, I'm packed right now! 
I barely found time to do this and I thank Lil' for helping with the grammar. 
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Lilith
Honored Citizen
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Topics: 82
Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| *stands and applauds* Bravo! Bravo!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 339
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 8:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Aha! Finally Cy begins a SGame.
Good writing there Cy. A few small phrases that came across as a little strange, but still very readable.
Just one point that didn't work though:
| Quote: | | held his tenacious shoulders |
I don't think tenacious is a very good description for shoulders, unless they are highly determined shoulders that never give up ~thinks of a rather strange idea for a story~ Perhaps something like wiry shoulders would work better here.
I'll go through some of the other points when I get some time, in the crit forum for yer.
In the meantime, I'll settle back and see what comes through. 
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Mephistopheles
Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007
Topics: 16
Posts: 612
Location: Not where I want to be.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
YAY! you got it posted! good job cy! I f5 china, I'll it back and see what comes next 
_________________
Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 10:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
Good stuff there, Cy, well written!
Looking forward to the first chapter.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
OK, since I promised I'll say more about the SG before I start writing it, here is some info.
I have six people working with me, but not in writing sense. I will use them as actors. We will meet in private and work on their part, which I will write. Something like Pookey, but I will manually write the whole thing and then consult with my associates.
As for this prologue, Father Deveraux is a totally fictional character, and one of the MCs. Yes, I say one of them because I'll have totally eight main characters, Father Deveraux the cowboy cleric being one of them. 
I've already figured a way to hold the DPs, and I will tell you more when the time is right. So, you may rest for now, but you'll have a variety of DPs to choose. 
Many of the readers will think this is a Fantasy story, but I assure you there is more to it. I suggest that they read a few chapters first and then judge it.
I am currently working on chapter one, since it needs some adaptation and translation. I'm sorry if I miss some phrases or if my tenses go wild, but I'm trying my best. Oh yeah, chapter one will have only one poll for the DP, every other will have a dual poll. You will see what I mean.
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Masterweaver
Honored Citizen
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Topics: 13
Posts: 1463
Location: Look around
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'll sign up to act.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 7:51 am Post subject: |
|
|
Oh, I've already arranged the actors. Sorry.
This wasn't an open acting SG, the actors and I have an agreement. I will post their names tomorrow, as today I'm pretty busy.
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
DELETED
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 2:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| DELETED
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hey Zephyr! Thanks for reading! This is my first SG, so I know it's a bit rough, and this prologue will have little meaning to chapter one, but will be of great importance to the story itself, and if my SG lives to that moment, you will see what I mean.
You said some terms are unclear to you. If you have any specific questions, post them and I'll be glad to explain. Oh, and could you post a few notes about the grammar mistakes so I can work on them? Thanks.
Chapter one will be soon and then the real work begins. For both the readers and myself.
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Last edited by Cyberworm on Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:36 am; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Whaa? you mean we gotta work? 
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Chapter |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 12:46 pm Post subject: Ch1 - "What the..." |
|
|
Ch -1- "What the..."
"What happened?"
"What in the name of..."
"Who are those people?"
"Who am I?"
"Why the hell am I wearing these robes?"
Those kind of questions were in the minds of six out of seven people that were in the room. They were all silent, not to interrupt their observation of the room they were in. It was pretty well lit, although there was no obvious light source. On the floor laid a large round carpet that had a picture of a black David's star on white background presented on it. The walls were... not walls. There was one single stone wall that surrounded the rotund room. The color of the wall was a bit yellow-ish and it was embossed by the lines where the rough stones connected. The ceiling was a mosaic of a sword. A large sword with a golden handle and some other decorations that were hard to see. The blade was pointing towards the side where a large crescent table was set.
The furniture in the room was made mostly of mahogany and ebony. The most markable object in the room was the crescent table. It was placed so that the straight part was facing the wall, and the semi-circular part was facing the middle of the room, ruining the symmetry of the whole space. The round part of the table also had six chairs set on equal distances beside it, while the straight part had only one which was placed in the middle. There were some small cabinets and wardrobes placed near the wall as well, but nothing notable or at least nothing that the people in the room noted.
There were seven people sitting at the table at that time and they were all dressed in white robes and tunics. There was nothing on the great semi-round table that could block anybody's view, so they could take a good look at each other. In the only chair on the straight side sat a dark-haired, brown-eyed man. He looked like he was in his twenties and he always smiled. Much warmth pulsated from his eyes and his whole figure in general. He obviously didn't have any bad intentions and because of that smile some of the six people that were sitting across the table felt a bit relieved, some felt a bit scared, and some were, suspicious, so to say.
The man got up and took a deep bow that confused everybody else in the room.
"Hello again. My name is Raphael." he said with a medium toned voice. "I know you are confused, and I know what you are thinking. I assure you that you have nothing to worry about."
The six people that were still sitting were not blinking. They demanded an explanation to why they were there, why don't they remember anything about their lives, why don't... ah, so many questions.
"You have just signed a contract. A type of contract that is eternal." he continued.
The man that sat to the most left from Raphael laughed. "That's bullshit, it can't be eternal. What if we die? Heh, you can't call us to work if we're dead."
Raphael held a straight face, afraid that any facial expression might scare them even more.
"That is the problem you see... you are dead."
The man that laughed suddenly became dead serious.
"The contract had paragraph which stated that you will lose the memory of your past life, and you all agreed to sign it."
"Like hell we did!"
Raphael raised a hand and the room went dark. At that moment you couldn't hear a fly in the room. Partially because there weren't any, partially because everybody except Raphael held their breath. The room was soon vaguely lit, but they weren't in it. Everyone who was in the room was now looking at the site from the ceiling. Everybody except Raphael was shocked by the sight of themselves sitting in those same chairs like nothing happened. There were some papers on the table in front of every one of them neatly placed at identical spacings. The Raphael that was in the room soon spoke.
"This is a point of no return. Everything you had, felt, everyone you knew in your past life will be erased from your memory, as well as your own identity. Only your basic knowledge will be left. If any of you wants to pass straight into the Spiritual realm, you may say it now."
Obviously, the whole scene was a "playback" of what was supposed to be their previous meeting.
"Well, I'd rather live that way than become an energy cloud and float with more energy clouds into eternity and on and on..." said the man to the far left.
"Good. From now on, your name will be Cassiel, who reigns over fire and fiery tempers."
One of the six pens that were placed before Raphael and were pointed towards the six people across the table slid away under Cassiel's strong, sinewy arm, and Cassiel scribbled something on the paper. His motions were brisk and hurried, his face, legs and his body overall was restless and his short dirty blonde hair made him look even more rebellious. Raphael nodded and turned towards the girl sitting next to the one now called Cassiel. She was sitting with her legs crossed and supporting her head with her hand, her long dark hair with purple strikes falling on her shoulders.
"I'm with hothead. Just give me that golden shiny thing so I can write my name down and enjoy my afterlife."
The pen that was facing her slid across the table to meet her gentle fingers. One that was still alive would call her sexy, and her looks haven't changed in the transition. The funny tunic gave some special aura to her appearance... apart from that it was just silly. Her assets were loosely covered and any healthy and sane man would sneak a peek at them. Her skin was soft and eager for someone touching her, her slim body squirmed, lusting for someone to hold it... to calm it down... Or that was what men thought. The girls knew a man-eater when they saw one, and all of the girls kept one eye on her so she didn't do anything funny. When Requiel grabbed the pen and immediately signed her name on the line, Raphael hid his bemused expression. He shook his head to repel his daydreams and continued talking with his previous smile.
"You will be called Requiel. Who reigns over the Moon."
Requiel smiled in satisfaction. She obviously liked the name. Or the title. Or even both, who knows?
A few seconds later the man next to Requiel nodded and Raphael sent a pen to him.
"Excellent. You will be Malachi, who spreads the truth and enlightens."
Requiel elegantly put a hand on Malachi's knee in a way that only Malachi noticed. He looked her in the eyes, almost staring, and those cold eyes really surprised Req. She winked at him, trying to hide the irritation Mal's indifference caused, but he was still ice cold. His long, dark hair, accompanied by his straight face gave out an image of a man that means business. Requiel couldn't find as much as a tick on his poker face. Well, we could just call it his face, since he never gambled but always had that expressionless face. She quickly retreated her hand in her lap, a bit disappointed, a bit scared, but she wasn't planning on giving up. Raphael, who didn't notice any of that, was still talking to the redhead that was next in line.
"... but why won't you let me see them?" she asked him with hope in her eyes. That hope was covered with tears, but it was still noticeable to their patron, Raphael.
"No. As it says in the contract, I can't let you do that."
Maybe it seemed harsh, but Mal read Raphael like an opened book. Something was bothering Raphael, it was obvious this situation simply didn't suit him. OK, maybe it wasnt' so obvious, but Mal somehow knew Raphael wasn't really a tough guy. What he didn't know was... why was he acting so unnaturally? That arose some suspicion in Mal.
The fiery-haired girl wiped the warm tears from her eyes as she nodded, her bitter smile growing more so as the pen drew nearer and nearer. The girl's pretty emerald eyes presented a ravishing contrast with her hair and the dusting of freckles on pale skin over her small nose and high cheekbones gave her the appearance of pure innocence, while the high proud forehead and set jaw showed her determination. Finally, when the pen had stopped, she reached out for it and felt like she was reborn, just from touching it. The future didn't seem so dark now...
"You will be called Seraphine. One of the Seraphs and guardian of the air."
Near the girl with fiery red hair, a pale, black haired man sat. He had prominent facial bones that men thought of as marks of a determined spirit and women thought of as marks of strength. Indeed, he seemed calm and sure of himself. In addition to all that, he emitted a warm aura that rendered those around him more restful. His body was still, but his mind was twirling. You could see it in the depths of his blue eyes.
"I see that you are still surprised by your destiny, young friend" said Raphael. "I encourage you to sign. You have a great future and you shouldn't let it fall to waste. Let's make a better world together."
The young man nodded, still looking at the table and thinking. He closed his eyes briefly and then looked into Raphael's. He only said...
"Yes."
The pen that was facing the black haired man slid across the table, but even though her route was a straight line the pen oscillated. The young man picked up the pen, took a good look at it, and when he found everything was normal he shrugged his shoulders and signed, caring little for that anomaly. Why would he be surprised? After all, he was already dead. The corner of Raphael's mouth ticked a bit, but then his lips stretched into his previous smile.
"Great. You will be called Attaris, whose ally is winter and whose guide is the cold."
He finally turned to the person sitting to the utmost right. It was a cute looking girl with brown hair and differently colored eyes - one blue and one green. It wasn't too odd. It was, in fact, giving her a more childish look. Her appearance was something between puerile and those of an adult, and she was quite attractive, so to say. So fragile, lighthearted by nature... Yes, she was worried now, but that worry dimmed the happiness in her eye only by a small degree. Her intentions were a bit hard to read from the look on her face, though...
"I presume there is nothing I can say to make you feel better." Raphael said with a sweet voice. The girl jumped a bit, and then smiled nervously.
"Well... I..." she muttered. "Since there is no return and we are... well... dead... I guess this is a solution."
Raphael nodded and passed her the pen. As she signed her name on the paper Raphael said "You will be Orifiel, who guards forests and forest life." As Raphael's words faded the black and white projection faded as well, and they found themselves sitting in their seats once more. Seraphine was the first to break the silence.
"One of the Seraphs..." she whispered, "but that means we are..."
She stopped, but Raphael finished her line.
"Angels, yes." he stated, making a dramatic pause. "I have told you everything in that previous meeting of ours which part you've just seen. Now you don't know any of your past life nor the meeting, but all the information I've passed you shall be uncovered as you progress. Nevertheless, you still won't remember your lives. That part is permanently erased."
All six of the newly recruited angels looked at each other, some with criticism, some with happiness. So they were to spend the rest of eternity with that sad bunch of what was supposed to be humans? Or angels? Their observation was, yet again, interrupted by Raphael.
"I will have to go now. There are a few things you must know first." he said, and everyone's eyes were pointed at Raphael with a confused look. "To fully activate your powers, you must close your eyes and say your angelic name. I have some work to do now, but I'll be back soon. Farewell!"
And he vanished in a wave of white light. The angels looked around for an exit, but they didn't have to look for long. Behind the chair where Raphael sat there was a slide door that blended into the wall. It slid into the wall, grinding the floor. The corridor behind them was dark.
Malachi tapped his chin. "I knew there was something fishy with that slot in the wall." The slot was actually the only imperfect part of the door camouflage.
Cassiel ran to the entrance of the corridor and looked inside. "Bloody hell! It's pitch dark in 'ere!" he shouted, echoes sounding in the passage. Requiel gave him a good kick in the butt and the fire angel fell into the darkness of the hallway.
"Well, I guess it's safe" Requiel said. "There is one thing that is bugging me. If he was a fire angel, how come he doesn't glow in the dark or something?"
The angels heard Cassiel's panting in the corridor and suddenly he flew out of the darkness, launching himself at Requiel.
"Why you little bit..."
His flight was interrupted by Malachi's leg that hit his face. He made a backflip and he fell on his back.
"Chill out, we are already dead. You die again, you die for good." Malachi said without looking at the victim of his kick. Cassiel still laid on the floor, muttering to himself.
Attaris approached the entrance of the corridor. He checked the walls inside and nodded. After some thinking he called Orifiel over. When she came to him he asked for her hand.
Attaris turned to those that stood on the other side of the entrance.
"Everyone, take each other's hand and form a line. I'll lead us inside."
Surprisingly, nobody argued against that. They did form a line and Attaris entered, walking right next to the wall. He kept one of his hands on the wall while holding Orifiel's in the other. Orifiel gripped his hand almost too firmly, but he didn't mind. What he did mind was Cassiel's muttering which made every other sound difficult to hear.
"Keep your hands off my ass, missy." Malachi whispered. Requiel glued herself to him for two reasons. One of them was to get a good feel of her new teammate and the other was not to get felt by another. Cassiel tried to touch her accidentally many times. Seraphine, on the other hand, was completely silent.
They walked slowly through the dark stone corridor, impatient to find it's end...
-----------------------------
OK! This is what it is! The full chapter! I've added some parts, I've changed some parts... I hope it's more readable! 
Now, The DP is this...
Where are they heading? Where will the corridor end? What will be at the end of the corridor?
*repeats multiple phrases similar to the last three*
Again, sorry for the mess I've made...
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Last edited by Cyberworm on Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:30 pm; edited 5 times in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire
Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Topics: 173
Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Perhaps to their quarters, perhaps to some viewing room from which they can see their assigned tasks.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Masterweaver
Honored Citizen
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Topics: 13
Posts: 1463
Location: Look around
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It's a test! They will meet (insert hideous being here) but they don't realize that it's only protecting pups. Meanwhile, Raphael will be arranging different things, and hoping not to get caught...
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Syranore
Citizen
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Topics: 2
Posts: 153
Location: The Inn
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
Interesting. I F5 Rai about the room where they see their tasks.
_________________
Directive Chapter 2 -Complete
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Kirranna
Resident
Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Topics: 2
Posts: 81
Location: California
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:37 am Post subject: |
|
|
OH my gosh this is really a great story, I love the idea and topics presented here.
Hmm DP, I think that someone should ask why they haven't activated their powers yet and so they do, one at a time and it makes them have a sort of glowing aura and then they see that they are in a room full of captive demons. Followed by ensuing chaos.
_________________
Myths: The Ancients' Soap-Operas ;D
  
.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Mephistopheles
Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007
Topics: 16
Posts: 612
Location: Not where I want to be.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| okay, I sorta think that i have to mix a few comments. It is a testing room where they are required to activate their abilities in order to accomplish some set of tasks. They have to work as a team though, getting to know one anothers powers and personalities as they accomplish what needs done. Sorta like a Saw movie without quite as much gore or pain.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
Since the suggestions are pretty similar, I think there is no need for a poll. I will just mix all the posts and see what we get. Whaddya say folks?
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
NeverNeverGirl
Honored Citizen
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Topics: 68
Posts: 1216
Location: dreaming away of tomorrows to come
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
WOW CY! that was great
there are a couple of issues with the wording that i will discuss with you priv atley and i think they simply stem from the translating to english from croatian detail.
onwards ~ i cant wait to see where you go with this.
and maybe dont tell the IFians names - see if ppl can work them out as the stpry goes
could make an interesting comp aspect of the story..
maybe ppl could ask questions to the characters and the IFian could answer them anonomously via you and then ppl could enter the lists of IFians they think are involved...
_________________
~ ~
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:57 am Post subject: |
|
|
Thanks Ne! Good to see you back!
I would like to see where I will get with this story myself...
The second chapter will be on soon...
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
DELETED
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
| DELETED
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
Thank you Zephy, I'll make the necessary alterations as soon as I can.
You all made some fine suggestions and I think there is actually no need for a poll. My opinion is, I should put it all together. Do you agree?
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
DELETED
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:58 am Post subject: |
|
|
| DELETED
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Novelest_Ninjagirl
Respected Citizen
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Topics: 13
Posts: 700
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I liked it! There were a few dull points, but they were important to the story. I must say, I rarely read on in stories like this, and am very picky, and I believe you've just made me addicted to your SG!
I think they should come out from the passage into a clearing in a wide beautiful forest. There should be a lake, and flowers and everything. They should start going through the forest, where one of them discovers their powers.
_________________
My latest SG! (Image courtesy of the lovely Lebrenth)
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 10:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
Well, I've postponed the writing of my chapter since I got some new ideas...
AND I've put up a poll! it will run for two weeks, so be sure to vote, there is plenty to vote for...
AND I've even added an extra poll option... No, not the author only, don't click that!  The one above the author only.
So, step out of the tunnel of voting!
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ah, now I know why I didn't get around to this before, it says chapter 1 in the topic title, and I thought I had already read it! In fact I had only read the prologue.
F5 all of Zephs comments on grammar but that aside, this is an interesting tale. The only thing that stood out for me as being a bit strange for this was the closing of eyes and saying the own name to activate their full powers. Seems like the sort of thing you'd do in a game...
Anyways, have voted. Keep going!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:24 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I know what you mean, CF, and it would be very bad if they always did so. That part will be explained in the second chapter. You'll see what I mean.
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
theend
Visitor
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Topics: 1
Posts: 8
Location: under your bed eating your socks
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| good story
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
OK guys, the poll is closed, and I'm starting to write the chapter this instant. It will be hard to make it worthy of your attention and praises, but I will certainly try.
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Novelest_Ninjagirl
Respected Citizen
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Topics: 13
Posts: 700
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
Yay!*sits impatiently for story* I can't wait to see what grammer mistakes are made this time! Or how they all respond!
_________________
My latest SG! (Image courtesy of the lovely Lebrenth)
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Serge Wolf
Resident
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Topics: 0
Posts: 39
Location: Texas
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Alrighty, its too late for me to vote in the sotry, but I will say that your story is very interesting and I like the direction it is going and I can't wait to see what else is played out.
Afterwards though I'm gonna say I F5 all of Zepher's grammar point outs. I only have one thing that caused a hang up with me. I know these are character's based on IFians, and I probably have No right to say what I'm about to, but characterization seems a bit forced and hurried. I was a little bit confused as to how they knew exactly what they knew about each other especially if they had had their past lives erased.
I sorta got the feeling that they were starting fresh, and that'd give them time to develop a bit further.
Again, I probably have no right saying that myself.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
I am very sorry for the delay, I will speed up the writing and hopefully will post it before Friday. School is kicking me butt, so mah chappy es late. :
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Chapter |
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:08 am Post subject: Ch2 - "A Strange New World" |
|
|
CRUDE LANGUAGE ON SOME PLACES, CENSORED
First I must say that not everything is like it is presented to be. No poll cheating is present and everything will be explained in the next few chapters.
---------------------------------------
Ch -2- "A Strange New World"
"We've been walking 'ere forever and still nothing! Zilch, nada, zero!"
"I am sure Attaris knows what he's doing, Cassiel," Malachi reprimanded in his overpowering voice, "so be quiet."
"And who gave the bright idea to follow him in the first place? He would lose his head if it weren't on his shoulders!"
"Oh, shut up! I don't see you doing anything to get us out of here!" Requiel yelled at the rebel as she gripped his hand so hard she could hear the bones cracking. Cas cursed her and when she let go of his hand he ran ahead of them, disturbing the air currents that were Attaris’s main lead towards the exit.
Att heard and felt something hit the wall and silenced the others, waiting to hear it once more as Orifiel leaned towards him and breathed, "This wall only passed the vibrations further. There must be a door somewhere here."
"Yes, we're almost at the end." he stated, and if it wasn't dark, she would have seen the expression of relief on his face. Orifiel doesn't seem to be trained in survival skills, how could she possibly know that the wall hasn’t been hit but it is just shaking collaterally?
Attaris’s attention flicked back to reality and he continued walking forward until he found what he was looking for. Placing his hands on the wall, Attaris could feel a hard ending and he passed his fingers over another wall that blocked the tunnel.
The others heard Cassiel's moaning and approached the source of the sound.
"Damn this! Bastard! You just had to lead us into the middle of nowhere, in pitch black NOTHING..."
This tirade was exactly what had begun to bother Malachi about the whole situation. His dark eyebrows shot up and the contrast with the look on his pale face began to echo the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind. I thought angels were described as almost perfect. This idiot is nowhere near perfect. Not by a long shot. Come to think of it, none of us would ever actually come close to classifying as an angel...
Seraphine felt a sudden compulsion to reach forward and felt the seam where the wall blocking the way ahead connected with the side wall. Something was drawing her forward, something fresh and powerful, gentle and vicious at the same time. She felt air flowing through the crack where the two walls connected. The air was so sweet, filled with both lust and grief, joy and terror, glee and despair. Not that the air in the tunnel was stale, it was just so still. The wind coming from what she supposed was outside was moving, energy in its trail, drawing her further to the cracks. She almost laid her head on the cold rock, just to feel the wind, when the wall started moving.
"Damn, this makes my skin crawl!" Cassiel wailed, as he rubbed his aching side. Orifiel helped him get up and she turned her eyes to watch the moonlight as it entered the narrow space in which they were cramped. Small particles of dust were glowing, surrounded by blueish beams of light that were filling the area around them. Like in slow motion, everything was quiet and calm.
Just outside the tunnel they were in there was a small clearing, about five meters of pure low grass. A few scattered flowers radiated the color of their petals on the serene light that was effused between the branches of the trees that were a few meters away. The six "angels" strode across the small clearing that surrounded the tunnel entrance, or exit. Ori walked over to the nearest tree and ran her hand over the bark. She had a feeling that every pore of it was familiar to her. The grass that ran freely between her bare feet felt nice, almost welcoming...
BAM!
Every angel except for Ori went on alert when the gunshot cracked through the air. Birds flew from the trees in panic, a few rabbits ran through the woods, caring little for the visitors who were watching them, from the clearing. All six of the newcomers were on alert and they felt that they would notice even the slightest move or hear the smallest rustle.
Malachi gave a slight nod to Attaris and they both walked into the forest, noting the others to follow them using hand gestures. The forest wasn't too dense, but it was a beautiful sight to see, covered in moonlight that slipped between the branches of the trees that looked as if they were taken from a cartoon. A few logs laying here and there made them feel as if nobody entered this part of the forest for a long time.
An untouched paradise... Why do I find it so monumental and rare? Orifiel was a bit dazed. She followed Cassiel, who had no problems crossing the obstacles in the way. After a few minutes of sliding through the shadows Malachi raised a hand. His dark black hair glittered in the moonlight and it went pretty well with the metallic gray toga he wore. He leaned against the trees and signaled others to do the same. Soon they heard voices...
"And now what, Horace? To tell him we've blown everything up?"
"Well, we could say it was an accident!"
"Shhh! You want every being in this forest to find out where we are? We are having enough problems without those hellhound bastards..."
They spoke pretty fluently and without any special accent. Cassiel noted they were unarmed so he found it safe to go and greet them.
"Good evening, gentlemen. Now can any one of you tell me what the f*ck is going on here?"
The two men were dressed in raggy clothes, like those found on servants in the middle ages. Their hair was dark and not too shaggy, though one of them had an afro that resembled a microphone.
"Cassiel! Don't scare us like that!" shouted the man named Horace. He looked like he was 20-22 years old. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and collected some objects that were placed on the small stump in the middle of the clearing they were standing in. What the? How does he know my name? Even I didn't remember it!
"Fins, pass me the powder bowl, please." said the one named Horace to the boy that was standing next to him. The boy could be sixteen or seventeen years old and had a cute face. He was dressed in a robe similar to what his older friend wore.
Cassiel gave a strange look to the other five who were hiding in the shadows and then gestured that everything is ok. Malachi sighed and shook his head. When they started walking towards the clearing, Cassiel decided to play along as if he knew those two for years.
"So, uhm, Horace... What's new?" he said, trying to act relaxed and confident.
"Nothing much" said Horace, "Kalamar sent us here to test another one of his alchemical researches. Heh, - he chuckled - he calls it Fireflies. Silly old geezer."
About that time, the other five angels strode down to the clearing.
"Ah, I see the others are here as well! Good." stated the one that was called Fins earlier. "Chief wants you back at the fort to tell him your report. I wouldn't want to keep him waiting. You know how cranky he got ever since the demons started attacking..."
The six of the angels were all confused, but they didn't show their confusion. Obviously, they've met these people before and they were a part of this world for a long time. But demons? Well, they were supposed to be angels, so the existence of demons wasn't so surprising. To some of them, at least. Seraphine couldn't get over the feeling that something wasn't right. This whole thing seemed like a big charade to her. She decided to keep on with the act. Maybe they will find out more about this new world from that man Horace called Chief.
"Well, we'll be on our way now. We shouldn't wait for the dark." Attaris said when he got the idea of Cassiel's act.
"You go on, we'll be right behind you." Fins said and turned to Horace. "We should hurry as well. I wouldn't want to be outside the fort when the darkness comes. We must go and tell the results to Kalamar anyway. He wanted them before nightfall."
As they looked at each other, the angels came to a realization that nobody had any idea where should they go. Requiel was the first one to do something about it. She smiled and straightened out her robe. Perhaps a bit too much even. Her cleavage was 10 cm lower than usual.
"To hell with this forest, I can't find my way around anymore" Requiel said, aerating her cleavage and wiping off the "sweat" from her forehead. She started walking towards a random edge of the clearing, just to be stopped by the boy called Fins.
"Uhm, Req?"
"Yes, Finsie?"
Fins blushed a bit, but he put himself together again and said "The fort is that way", he pointed somewhere on the other side of the clearing. He even managed to chuckle a bit.
"Ah yes, silly me" she giggled. "I should pay more attention to things around me" she said, softly brushing against Fins' shoulder while walking. Now that's my kind of guy. Willing and easy to manipulate. Hmm, but he is just a boy. I won't mess around too much, or the poor guy might think something.
"Hey Cassiel!" Horace shouted.
"Aye?" shouted back.
"Wynona said hi!"
Cassiel, who was stunned by this, just waved and let out a loud laugh, as if he recovered some pleasant memory. Uh, Wynona? Never heard of her. Come to mention it, I've only heard of that one Wynona, with those alien dudes. Hey, where did I watch that movie? He stopped. What's a movie?
They all said their farewells and continued in the way Fins pointed. After what it seemed half an hour of walk, they've reached the outskirts of the human territory. It was a very large clearing with a few lights glowing in the distance. The fort looked like it had seen better days as half the walls were loose and part-way demolished, the towers on the ends threatening to fall over at any minute; the men on patrol, however, didn't seem to mind the fort's meager appearance in the slightest. The six angels needed to get closer if they were to see any more.
They carefully walked across the small clearing to the fort gates, and as they came close a guard opened the portal which they were approaching, shouting something to the men positioned inside. He was barely heard because of all the screeching and grinding that teared the serene night air. Suddenly it was as if the whole fort went to life.
The team walked in as if they've done that a thousand times before, with some exceptions. Orifiel looked warily around to get a good glance of her new surroundings. The few small buildings that were still standing were made fully out of rocks, like everything else that was still holding on. It looked as if the fort was under siege for many years. The look of the buildings and fort overall worried Seraphine. Have we just shown up in the middle of a war? What does future hold for us in this desolate place?
Soon after they entered the fort, a young squire dressed in simple robes ran over to them shouting.
"The chief wants to hear the news from you right now! Follow me quickly!"
They didn't know what was where so they were better off following others and pretending to know everything. Malachi carefully observed every inch of space visible to him, knowing that this night won't be a peaceful one. I don't like this, but for now it's the only way we can get more information. I don't know why is everybody here behaving as if we were one of them, but there's no hurt in going with the flow. When you're in Rome... Soon they entered the biggest building in the fort, made of solid stone and with only a few small windows which offered little view of what was inside.
They quickly passed through the small, dark corridors that led to a great strategy room. The room itself was pretty well lit, with many torches on the walls which were decorated by a few rugs that had some kind of insignia drawn on them a long time ago. Now it was only a pale memory of things that were. There were three men in the room, and the six of them spotted the one called Chief almost immediately. He was dressed in a knights suit of armor while the other two had regular chain vests. They were having a wild discussion when Attaris slid through the shadows, following the wall patterns so he isn't noticed. They didn't hear hims softly tapping the cold stone floor. Seraphine followed him closely, eyeing out the men that were now waving with their hands and showing some points on the large maps that were spread out on the only table in the room. She noticed that one of the soldier that were talking to the Chief had a small emblem on his shoulder that represented a tower. The other had an emblem that had the front gates drawn on it.
Requiel and Orifiel went to the opposite of where Sera and Att were, and Malachi and Cassiel walked in from the front door. They were playing on the stealth card just to be sure, as they've never seen those people before. They surrounded the three men who could only see the two men enter the room.
"Yes, but the gates are not our priority right now! We need to reinforce the eastern walls! The last attack wave collided the southeastern tower and..." the man with the tower emblem stopped. He has finally noticed Malachi and Cassiel coming in the room.
"Ah, yes, I believe we will have to continue this discussion later" he said. "Now, what are the news from our scouting party?"
----------------------
Sorry about the delay, school was kicking my butt.
Now, the DP. What do they say? Is everything peaceful in this new land? Do they bluff about some enemies approaching the fort? Could it be that the doom is approaching and they don't know that? Or maybe they shouldn't worry, but say everything is fine and continue with the exploration? Hmmm...
The choice is yours... Let me see your suggestions.
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Last edited by Cyberworm on Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:31 pm; edited 5 times in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Novelest_Ninjagirl
Respected Citizen
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Topics: 13
Posts: 700
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
Nice story! I was entrances, ntoiced a few embarssing mistakes though
Here is should be wore
| Quote: | | His dark black hair glittered in the moonlight and it went pretty well with the metallic gray toga he whore. |
wouldn't they,suposedly, have already heard their own news?
| Quote: | | "The chief wants you to hear the news from you right now! Follow me quickly!" |
This should be stone
| Quote: | | Soon they entered the biggest building in the fort, made of solid stoned and with only a few small windows which offered little view of what was inside. |
As for the DP, I say they say all is well, and then an attack starts
_________________
My latest SG! (Image courtesy of the lovely Lebrenth)
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Lilith
Honored Citizen
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Topics: 82
Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
NeverNeverGirl
Honored Citizen
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Topics: 68
Posts: 1216
Location: dreaming away of tomorrows to come
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
yeah i guess that they try to improvise a story and shortly thereafter the base coems under attack..
they didnt see any bad guys on their way in so it stands to reason they state that... it wasnt their fault they looked in the wrong place...
_________________
~ ~
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Mephistopheles
Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007
Topics: 16
Posts: 612
Location: Not where I want to be.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
How about one of them shows some honesty and explains that they have no idea what is going on? Perhaps this is part of their testing?
Good chappy cy, did notice a few things, but, I am sure that lily already squared you out on those. Keep up the good work!
_________________
Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
