Search      Members      Groups      Profile      Favorites      RSS      Register      Log in
Beyond Good and Evil -Ch8- "All The Finer Things"
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
 
(currently a favorite of 0 users)
   Storygames Home -> Stasis Hall - Completed or archived Storygames -> The Vault
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, sorry about the door, I kinda missed it while translating. Smile

The DP is: What is beyond the door?
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
The Meaning Of Fear
Respected Citizen



Joined: 06 May 2006
Topics: 13
Posts: 980
Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say the angel who they first met after signing the contract (can't remember his name) is behind there, doing something sneaky!
_________________
Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.

Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy New Year in advance, since I'll be away and unable to commune with you lol. BTW, if anyone has a suggestion, please DO COMMENT. It took me a while to post the chappy. Smile
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
DeadManWalking
Duke of the Mostly Dead



Joined: 24 May 2006
Topics: 30
Posts: 1005


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hmmm...

What is behind the door? Well we don't know enough about the world to really put interesting things in there...

I say it's a doorway to a secret supply room, in which the wizard (or maybe the wizard's now-deceased, much more powerful mentor) keeps all his dastardly evil wizarding equipment. But of course, they've been gathering dust for a while. The wizard senses Cassiel's opening of the door, and stops him from entering, but not before something rolls out.

Either it tries to destroy the world, or it's a ring or a stone or something that Cassiel picks up, or both.
_________________
When the dead walk, the living run.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
vgmaster
Resident



Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Topics: 6
Posts: 68
Location: The City of Angels

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say that behind the door is a completely white room, where they should proceed to practice using their powers.
_________________
"Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense,
Refrigerator."
-TheLifeofaBinder
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Author Message
tramp in a storm
Honored Citizen



Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Topics: 7
Posts: 1585
Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excelent chappy, Cyb! Loving the mage!
While I was reading it I thought that the door was connected to his feeling of being alive... maybe it's the door to the real world.

_________________
Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Smile



Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I've closed the last poll! Thank you for voting, everyone! Very Happy Here are the results of that last one.

The easy question... or is it? Should he use his powers or not?

Use them! Give us the upper hand in the battle and make a finishing counter-attack! [ 3 ]
Don't use them, the risk is too great, you might even attack your own,,,
[ 3 ]
Try to use powers without saying the name, maybe you can only partially use them?
[ 0 ]
AUTHOR ONLY OPTION!
[ 1 ]

Total Votes : 7
Who Voted: Cyberworm, Lilith, Phantomfan, Sabriel, shy_blu_eyes, tramp in a storm, zahark


Now's the time to decide what is beyond the door! The second poll is up so vote! 14 days and counting! Very Happy
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Lilith
Honored Citizen



Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Topics: 82
Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted, troublemaker.
_________________

© 2007-2019 Lilith
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright, seems that the polling is done, and I shall be writing the next chapter pronto. As soon as school settles down, which is about Wendsday... Smile
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Emperor
Citizen



Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Topics: 29
Posts: 471
Location: San Diego, CA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey cyberworm,

Just wanted you to know that I popped in to read your story. There is some excellent writing and ideas in here, I hope you keep at it.
_________________
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. - Baltasar Gracian
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Tatkret Sos
Resident



Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Topics: 1
Posts: 74
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow Cy this is Amazing!
I told you I would read it! I actually finished it yesterday but didnt get round to telling you how good it was Clapping
Is it unfinished??? Im guessing yes.
I think you should write the rest because its really good material. Umm... What could happen next?
Tell us more about Orifiels wierd mad outbreak, Malachi went a bit wierd towards the end too. I wonder what everyone elses magic powers are! Roll
Also, the title is really making sense now! Duel
I loved it, its one of the best I've read so far on IF and I really hope you could finish it soon!
Poke


Last edited by Tatkret Sos on Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:08 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Tikanni Corazon
Honored Citizen



Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Topics: 75
Posts: 1286
Location: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!).

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Cy!
I read this on a recommedation from Tats, who said that she loved it. Seeing as she's not all that fond of reading, I thought that it must be good. Smile
The whole idea of the story is brilliant Cy. Your writing style, though it needs slight.....tweaking, is very descriptive, almost poetic in places, giving the reader a full picture of what they are reading about. The characters are described well, and I love the development of them through the four chapters. I started out liking certain ones, then by the end of the fourth chapter, I had completely changed my mind, and liked others instead. Hope you decide to do another chapter soon. Wink

_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887




Last edited by Tikanni Corazon on Sun Nov 22, 2009 12:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
tramp in a storm
Honored Citizen



Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Topics: 7
Posts: 1585
Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow this is my first post in ages! lol When do we get a new chapter? Very Happy
_________________
Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Smile



Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, after a long hiatus I'm back in business! First, to post the results of the poll:

Raphael (the archangel), doing something sneaky. 16% [ 1 ]
A secret supply room, Cassiel finds something very interesting and powerful in there. 16% [ 1 ]
A completely white room, for practicing the usage their powers. 0% [ 0 ]
The real world, from which they came to become angels. 50% [ 3 ]
AUTHOR ONLY OPTION! KEEP YOUR POINTER OFF! 16% [ 1 ]

Next, I'm going to double-post and immediately post the next chapter in it! So read up and comment! Feedback keeps the stories going, and I'm planning to make it go for quite a while!
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Chapter
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:18 am    Post subject: Ch5 - ''Illusions'' Reply with quote

Caution, a few harsh words, don't read if very easily offended.

Ch -5- ''Illusions''

Cassiel felt a slight, cold breeze caress the drops of sweat that were flowing through the pores of his skin. His temptation battled with his wish to just leave the door alone, for whatever was behind it surely wasn't this… good? Yes, he felt the bloodlust lurking inside him, locked away and on the edge of bursting, like it was through the last and the only two days he remembered. Somehow he knew that behind the door there was something odd, all too familiar and dull, the kind of thing that filled him with anger and rebellious thoughts.

But what was behind the door? He searched for the handle, but there was none. He decided to push them open and enter whatever was beyond…

''CASSIEL, NO!''

The Tower Sergeant's voice echoed, lost in the haze in which bright light and total darkness mixed and twirled. The door was opened.


= = // \\ = =
= = \\ // = =

The cohesion of the world vanished. Quickly, the walls fell apart into building blocks, the vials, cruets and the bottles cracked one inch at a time and then the piece of it got vaporized.

The wizard and the Tower Sergeant said nothing. They couldn't. It was like time itself stopped in that moment, and the only thing that went on was destruction, disintegration of the world and the mind. And soon the floor around the wizard and the sergeant vanished, and it started slowly eating them as well, right down to their bones, which were the hardest to dissolve. One would think that this whole decomposition went for a while, but it all happened wthin seconds and only one person saw everything and lived through that.

Cassiel was shocked because he never saw anything like it, and his very bones were shaking in fright of what might happen next. As he was waiting, every milisecond feelt like minutes, hours, rising his adrenaline with the thought that he might be trapped forever in this blackness... And that would make him lose his mind, he would rather kill himself.

Fortunately, and to his relief too, a lightning fast shock zapped through his body almost tearing him apart with mental pain, and the blackness around him was no more. He was somewhere strange, familiar but atrocious, and both feelings of safety and being sick of the world along with the wish for things to be different and more exciting...

Was it home?

To him it surely felt like it.

Streets? What's that metal thing? Everything is grey, and yet there are spots of bright colour... Signs with shining letters, looking funny... He was beginning to think everything was apsurd here. The images and his surroundings never stopped shifting, from women in different clothing, from houses to roads, concrete jungles, people lying on the ground and through their teeth, biggotry, shame...

He was running down the street, still dizzy and hurting, evading people while stumbling left and right. He hit some men, women, but they just swept him away with a harsh glance and didn't care. He hit something shiny and see-through, something hard, it was gl... gl... he couldn't remember, but whatever it was it was only for so long because in a few seconds it became a thousand flying shards. It was as broken as his sight and mind, and there were dozens of red and blue lights there in a matter of seconds. Men in blue, with funny blue hats with something shiny. Hypocrites... How were they called? He fought them, they flew away like feathers. Everything flew away like feathers!

Again he was in total blackness, his mind itched and burned him like a steel sponge rubbing the area behind his eyes vigorously and as it brushed him faces flashed abruptly in front of him; men, women, some familiar, some unfamiliar, and some he wished weren't familiar, he was on the brink of life, on the razor's edge for something both wanted and despised by him... He was on the verge of memories...

NO! Nothing! There was a white wall in front of him with some insignia on it, some to him unreadable, foreign inscription surrounding it.

"Hello?!"

Echo... nothing more. His mind echoed in chorus with his voice, and he didn't discern between what he was saying, and which of it he was thinking. Blasting headache, dizzying him, he was unsure on his feet, if he had any at this point. He couldn't see himself, everything around the white wall was as white as snow and come to think of it, it was getting rather cold in there, in those vast spaces of whatever.

One part of the vastness went slowly to gray, and even moreso at one specific part in which he felt a presence. There were some mixed feelings about it, he didn't know what to make of it.

"You know you're not just an angel."

"You know how to be a pain in the ass."

"Now now, is that the kind of think you'd say to the only person you see in this blankness?"

Cassiel stopped in his tracks, thinking about his responce. It was perfectly fine, why would this wimpy voiced man mess with his head? Pfft.

"The only thing I want to say is: If you can't help me, get lost."

"Then I surely must stay, because I'm the only person in here (giggle) that can help you."

Cassiel didn't see anyone that, and that is what made him angry. How would he be able to trust someone he doesn't see? And how would he know who was it?

"Just show yourself already, you're making me mad!"

"Such simple words. But then again you are a simple man."

A tall, slender man appeared in the middle of the gray, dressed in a gray-ish tunic with sandals. Cassiel went towards him and kicked him but where was his leg? His leg wasn't there and it was all a mist, literally! It was only now he saw it because now he had a gray background to see it against.

"Bloody hell!"

"Oh, watch your language, you almost ended up there."

"What was that?! I almost ended up there? I'll send you crying there as soon as I find my body! One arm will be enough!"

"Poor Cassiel... Listen, why don't we just relax?"

The slick, shadowy man snapped his fingers, and suddenly everything... integrated! As everything dissapeared, so it reappeared in a matter of seconds! Cassiel head wasn't hurting so much, his sickness vanished, and all of a sudden he felt good.

They were in the room that he disappeared from, in his full form, gliding through the stale air. The tower sergeant and the mage were still there in their heated argument, frozen in time.

"How did you do all this? Are you God?"

The man chuckled. "No." he said, "God is not here. Nobody ever saw Him."

"Aha! So God is a male? I knew it! Someone tried to convince me he was a woman. Wait, he is not here?"

"Uhm... No. He has no gender. It is just that any language is too limited to name Him correctly. So, in the patriarchal society it is only beneficial for the ruler to assume and present God as a male. And yes, whatever anyone says, nobody ever saw him."

"Big words, pretty boy. I'm a believer, but it's stupid to say God isn't here."

Cassiel started panting, the air was heavy, almost unbreathable.

"Oh, I see you're having difficulty breathing."

The man snapped his fingers again and the air continued moving, so it became lighter and almost tasty to Cassiel, seeing how he couldn't breathe earlier.

"So, let's see this... You're up to be an angel for the Higher Power, you're to be a perfect example of good, and you are currently far from it! You're reckless, arrogant, selfish, and one would think that you're also mentally challenged."

Cassiel was almost up for killing the man... No, he was completely up for it. He rushed and tried to punch him, but the man just raised his arm and Cassiel stopped on the spot, his arm still hanging half-swung.

"Now, for a lesson. You see, this is not real. This is all in your head. In your heads, to be more precise. I am the one generating everything here, and that is why I can control it. That's why you flattered me by calling me God."

Cassiel just looked at him, barely breathing and unable to even blink.

"I am Lucifer, and as the Enlightener, I'm here to enlighten you just a bit. You see, these chaps here are now testing you. They put you all up for a trial, a simulation if you will, to see if you're good enough to work in a team and to see if they can use you."

He walked down the room and went to pat the tower sergeant on the shoulder, but he refrained from it.

"You know" he looked at Cassiel, "they are not so bad, just misinformed and unable to think. But I believe I can turn you into a thinker, a real person, an individual. Unlike them."

He went to Cassiel and pat him on the shoulder, and Cass finished the swing and hit Lucifer with an added force after he was unfrozen.

"You are one weird son of a..."

"And you are obviously a bad choice."

Another snap of his fingers and his bruised cheek was back to normal. He rushed over to the other two men in the room, the mage, with a puzzled look on his face, and the tower sergeant pointing at the wall to the spot where the door were, with an expression of rage. He shook his head and touched them both, and they came back to life.

"OOOO!"

"OOOO to you too, Remiel."

The tower Sergeant, whose real name was obviously Remiel, looked around in confusion and then turned his sight from Lucifer to the mage and to Cassiel.

"You IDIOT! What've you done?! Are you insane?! You compromised the whole project!"

He grabbed Lucifer for his tunic and got into his face, his strong beard shaking in rage.

"If you do this to any other of our plans, I'll personally punish you so hard you'll be very, very sorry you ever messed with me. And you! (turning to Cassiel), you are such an incompetent buffoon! You..."

"My dear Remiel, my humble powers are not as strong as you might think, and following the seven of them is an impossible task to do for such a long time, not to mention creating this world at the same time. It wasn't our fault the door appeared and he went right through it!"

"What the hell, there are only six of us!"

Lucifer and Remiel glanced at Cassiel after he shouted, and then the strong-bearded mountain of a man answered.

"Yes, there are, and this idiot is so weak he can't even think straight."

Cassiel was about to say something, unsure of how he would formulate his question, and then the mage entered the conversation, saying with a high-pitched, woman's voice.

"Okay, this masquerade is over."

The mage took his... no, her hat off, the beard, the mage's robe and slippers and there stood a female of great beauty, as she appeared when she smudged off her makeup.

"Lucifer, call off the whole thing. We will call a Council meeting immediately to determine the verdicts for all of them."

Lucifer stumbled a bit and stuttered, and finally spoke.

"W... we surely aren't done with them yet! We haven't seen the extent of..."

"Silence, you idiot!"

Remiel raised a hand to hit him, and as soon as he did, Lucifer defensively raised his arms and hunched.

"We shall do it now, no delay."

Cassiel didn't understand any of this, they were fighting over them? Over the illusion of the world? It made his head hurt, so much that he held his head in his arms and grunted heavily. The last thing he heard was a finger snap, and then darkness. Again.

==//\\==
==\\//==

It was dark, very dry and almost squeaky clean, you could actually feel the pureness of surface under your skin, feel every inch of your hot breath mixing with the light air in the remainder of the room. There were six persons in the room, and as they woke up one by one they instantly knew who the other five persons beside them were.

"Heads are gonna roll for this..."

Cassiel rolled on his back all in pain, including his hurting head which pulsed and thrusted it's signals to every fiber of his body... Hurt... Hurt...

"I found it quite fun, really."

"I thought you were a nutcase from the start, Mal."

"Pfft."

Requiel stroked her dark colored hair and looked down onto him, with a smirk on her face as always. She looked around, and she saw almost nothing, no walls, just darkness, no light sources, just a faint glow from the top of the room. There was what seemed like a orange orb of light with beautiful lines, half-circles and all kinds of amorphic etherial shapes flowing through it and around it's edges like filaments of love brushing against the air that touched it's surface, but you couldn't call it a light source seeing as it was just floating up there.

But even so, Requiel was almost moved by the sight. But then there was a noise that got eveyone's attention.



____________________



The DP: WHAT IS THE NOISE, OR WHAT DOES THE NOISE REPRESENT?

Come one people, your call! Very Happy

_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:39 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Tatkret Sos
Resident



Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Topics: 1
Posts: 74
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Yay! I love this story game and you've finally put up another chapter. Smile
As always brilliant Cy and I hope you keep up with it now Smile
Sorry currently no ideas but I will give it some thought and get back to you!
Just wanted to say how excited I was about a new chapter Bigg

Poke
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Thunderbird
Elder



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Workin' on catchin up here... gimme a bit.
_________________

CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Ingrothechundyer
Royal Arch-Mage



Joined: 22 Aug 2010
Topics: 63
Posts: 484
Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I'm finally caught up.

It was a great read and I'm glad I put the time into catching up.

As to the sound...

Hmm... Possibly it is whatever erased their memories the first time coming back for a second round in order to allow the test to be redone?
_________________
My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you very much for reading it! Very Happy I'll post a synopsis later today so that you get a clearer picture of what happened so far. Smile
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 5:41 am    Post subject: Synopsis - All to Ch -5- Reply with quote

Now, since some people have told me that my story is complicated and six characters are quite a bunch, I was asked to do a synopsis!

Here it is then, and I will try to make it as comprehensive as possible.

One more thing; This synopsis is detailed and short enough to be read and be fully capable of posting a DP after it, so the readers who never got to read the SG before can simply read the synopsis and participate in the SG as they normally would! This means that they could skip reading the chapters and still participate in the SG!

(Though I suggest reading the chapters, there is so much more depth in them. Smile )

The Prologue:

Father Deveraux, an old, barely on his feet priest is warned that what they have been waiting has finally come, so he grabs his old gear and the one box which others seemingly know little about. They went through old church corridors and into an ancient room with a small shrine other members of the church and a member of the First Order filled him in on the situation and just as he did, a large glowing ball appeared on the ziggurat in the middle of the room. And they prepare for battle.

Chapter 1: "What the?"

We observe a circular room in which there are seven people sitting around a semi-circular table. The one sitting at the straight part of the half-circle introduces himself, again aparrently, to the six sitting on the other side of the table. He lays out an overview of an apparent contract they signed after their deaths, and congratulating them on becoming angels... Which they still can't fully grasp. The six of them are given new names, to replace the old ones they are never to remember again.

    Cassiel, who reigns over fire and fiery tempers.

    Requiel, who reigns over the Moon.

    Malachi, who spreads the truth and enlightens.

    Seraphine, one of the Seraphs and guardian of the air.

    Attaris, whose ally is winter and whose guide is the cold.

    Orifiel, who guards forests and forest life.


And after Raphael disappears, they find a way out of the room...

Chapter 2: "A Strange New World"

After a long while of passing through some kind of a tunnel, they finally find the exit to see that they are now in a seemingly different world, full of lush green forests and peace. They hear a gunshot, and as they explore it they find two adolescents, Horace and Fins, who apparently know their names, and more interestingly, who appear to know them. They explain that they are collecting stuff for Kalamar, their mage, and that the Chief wants their report as soon as possible, and they mention the demons attacking the fort.

They acted along, and decided to go to the fort immediately, and when they arrive they see it to be worn out by battles, as it appeared on the side where the walls were completely collapsed. They walk through the fort to see that there are a lot of civillians, and not as much soldiers as there should be. When they arrived to the center of the fort, a squire approached them and led them to the Strategy room, where they divide in pairs as to be stealthy, unsure who they are to meet in the room.

And then they were asked for the news from the scouting party...

Chapter 3: "The Bloody Legion"

Something clashes onto the Chief from the shadows, and quickly disappears. Seconds later they hear someone shouting that the "Legion" has attacked. The gate sergeant commands the other, tower sergeant, to lead all six of them and gear them up. Our stealthy crew is surprised by the fact that they didn't evade his attention, but still they follow the sergeant to gear up.

On the way Attaris cannot shake the feeling that he met the gates sergeant before. They all gear up with the weapons available, and move to the positions. Malachi went to the gates to defend the inner area of the fort, and Attaris climbed the walls to defend the perimeter with the archers, along with Orifiel. The rest of them went to defend the fallen eastern wall.

The defense held for a while, the fall delayed by Attaris' and other archers' skills, but they got breached in the end, and after a fierce battle at the front gates against a huge Minotaur-like ram beast in which Malachi went victorious the rest of the crew returned to the center of the fort as their own (for some like Cassiel bloodlusty) battle at the eastern gates was won.

Now it was time for the second part of the plan... The tower sergeant told Cassiel to follow him, Requiel to help guard the walls and the inner side of the gates, and Seraphine to guard the barn that housed the civillians. As Sera enters the barn the creature that killed Chief executes it's hidden attacks on the people in the barn and Sera herself.

Orifiel started behaving strangely on the walls, and Attaris was growing weary of her behaviour, and with a good reason. She became mad, a totally different person. She exhibited powers that left all who saw them utterly shocked, and Attaris didn't know whether to use his own powers to stop her or not, because she was no longer a threat to the demons alone, but to their own troops.


Chapter 4: "Imbued With Ice"


This chapter is divided in two points of view that mix, so I will put them in one piece for easier comprehension.

Seraphine:

Sera had enough of evading, and she was now ready to attack the creature. Creatures, actually, because there were two of them in the barn. She threw her javelin through one but it passed right through it, and so she found that they are vulnerable to fire/light and she decided to exploit that. She hit the lamp somewhere at the top of the barn so it set the complete building on fire. That's when the people rushed out, apparently scared of fire more than they were scared of the beasts. She used a burning javelin to pierce a beast and burn it dead, and the second one met it's end similarly by impaling itself on a piece of burning wood Sera pointed at it while dodging it's attack. Unfortunately, winded and disoriented, and in fear of those creatures she mistakened some sounds behind her for a creature and she rushed a heated spear right through a little girl she saw in the fort earlier that day. The poor girl obviously ran to her for protection because her mother was killed by the creatures.

Attaris:

He had no choice but to use his powers, and to fight Orifiel to get her to stop killing everything she saw. She also has something peculiar about her, like she did not used her name to activate her powers, and she was so deceitful and sneaky he was unable to link her with her past self. He was tempted by the power himself, but he didn't go further than pummeling Orifiel into submission. He threw her through the doors of the barn in which Seraphine was and saw the dead creatures ashes, Orifiel laying in the middle of the barn and Sera sitting near a barn pole, crying and saying she didn't know. In a fit of rage he almost choked her by using his ice powers, but before he did he came to his senses and passed out. Sera thanks him and carries him out.

Common POV:

Req and Mal come to the barn, summarizing their experiences, and even though Mal insisted on leaving Ori in the barn to burn "like a witch she is", Requiel got her out and they put Ori and Att against the stable wall of the barn. Here Mal crouches near Att, telling him he's got his silver eyes on him.

Cassiel:


The tower sergeant brings Cassiel to the mage's tower, where Kalamar the Mage has been working on something called "Fireflies". Uninterested in the matter, Cassiel notices a disappearing door.

Chapter 5: "Illusions"

Cassiel opens the door and everything falls to pieces and disappears to make room for white nothingness. A white wall with a strange unreadable and unrecognizable insignia appears, and after that a part of the nothingness becomes dim, gray, and from it a person emerges. That strange person tells him confusing lines about God and the six of them overall, but nothing revealing. It would seem that The person was trying to "enlighten" him. Then he presented himself as Lucifer, the Enlightener as he made the previous mage's tower reappear and form, along with the tower sergeant and the mage.

He then went on to say that angels are too uptight to be effective or even free, and that Cassiel should work with him, which Cassiel refuses to, obviously and physically. Lucifer then gets mad, and unfreezes the tower sergeant and the mage, who reveal themselves to be masquerading as such, and are really Remiel as the sergeant and an unknown beautiful woman posing as a male mage. They say that they're pulling the plug on the whole operation since it has been compromised and Cassiel blacks out.

When Cassiel came to his senses, he found himself, with the other five "angels", in a dark room illuminated by a strange and beautiful orb of light. All six of them eventually regain their consciousness and observe their surrounding, and not long after they were all aware of themselves and others a strange sound starts to fill their ears and the room.

______________________________________________

Now, let me remind you that you can also describe the sound itself and leave the rest to me. Very Happy You can say the sound is a buzz or a screech or a scream or a sound of something dragging itself on the floor. Anything!

How do you like the story so far? Wink
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
tramp in a storm
Honored Citizen



Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Topics: 7
Posts: 1585
Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wooo! Chappy! I read the catchup before the chapter and nearly read too far :p
Brilliant! Very Happy maybe its a song of some sort? It could be coming from the pretty light Smile

_________________
Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Smile



Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Author Message
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay I am now officially caught up! It's a complex tale, and it is becoming clear to them that being an angel is not all it seems to be.

I'm going to say that it is the noise of a heart beat, and it is coming out of the walls.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Vishal Muralidharan
Respected Citizen



Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Topics: 24
Posts: 867
Location: City Of IF!

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A.W.E.S.U.M!!!!!!!!!
_________________




The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Author Message
Thunderbird
Elder



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, caught up finally! Very Happy

So, I admit to a lot of places where I got lost trying to understand what was going on... particularly where dialogue is unclaimed and not knowing whom is speaking.

Other than that, the message seems to be getting across. And I'm interested to see where you're going with this.

The noise? How about a horrible wailing scream? The poll for this should be interesting.
_________________

CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In three days I'll put up a poll, so get some last-minute ideas in! Very Happy
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All right, the poll is set, the counter is on 10 days and counting, all of you get your votes in and may the most interesting and best option WIN! Very Happy
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Ingrothechundyer
Royal Arch-Mage



Joined: 22 Aug 2010
Topics: 63
Posts: 484
Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the blend of horrors idea.

It may be just me but I can't quite figure out what the last option is Sad
_________________
My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A typing error, should say "souls". Basically, they would be covered in utter bliss. Again, for no obvious reason. Very Happy
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooooh, I like the first option, very very much. Not just because it's scary, but because I think reintroducing a theme from earlier on is a good idea.

*voted* Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for the vote, CF, I'm also interested in how this poll will turn out and that option is definitely a good one! Very Happy

Btw, I won't be online much today, it's my B-day! Very Happy
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Many happy returns!

Cheers
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Tikanni Corazon
Honored Citizen



Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Topics: 75
Posts: 1286
Location: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!).

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted!

And Happy Birthday Cy!
Very Happy
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887


Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 12:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Closing the poll today! Very Happy Last minute voters, go! Wink
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The results of the poll are as follows:

What is the mysterious sound?

The thing that erased their memories the first time.
16% [ 1 ]
A pretty song coming out of the shifting light.
0% [ 0 ]
A strong sound of heartbeat emanating from the walls.
50% [ 3 ]
A horrible wailing scream, source of it yet unknown.
0% [ 0 ]
A blend of horrors of the 1st, 3rd and 4th option.
16% [ 1 ]
A purity song, combined with hundreds of loving and loveable souls, cause and goal unknown.
16% [ 1 ]

Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Barking_Basenji_Splitpin, Crunchyfrog, Ingrothechundyer, Jseme, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon

--------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to everyone who voted, and now I shall begin the writing process! Very Happy

If there is anything unclear about the story, feel free to PM me your inquiry. I will be more than happy to answer! Smile
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Ingrothechundyer
Royal Arch-Mage



Joined: 22 Aug 2010
Topics: 63
Posts: 484
Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 10:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm looking forward to the next chapter Smile
_________________
My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Topics: 168
Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A little bump from me, too! When's the next one, Cy? Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Working on it between the studying, will be done soon! Very Happy
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Chapter
Cyberworm
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Topics: 5
Posts: 652
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 1:02 pm    Post subject: Ch6 - "Don't Split the Party" Reply with quote

I think this is a double post you are going to like. Wink

Ch -6- "Don't Split the Party"


"Either my heart is racing or that thing up there is making some funny noises…"

Indeed, as Cassiel said, something was foul. Adamant, paced thuds filled the air, ripples of power were usurping the stillness and invigorating the new angels. Though they didn't feel it as invigorating since the energy that filled the room was so overwhelming it far surpassed the point of invigoration. Also, the light pulsed with every beat in complete synch, which was haunting and calming at the same time… It still feels like a trap. You cannot breathe in there, not with the noise and the now blinding light permeating your very being, as if both the light and sound shoved themselves down your throat and stole your breath, with your heart racing you would grasp somewhere, anywhere, but the air is too thick with some unknown weight that imposed itself… It's going down your throat and into the stomach and pressing itself hard into you… Whatever it was, you need to get out!

And in search for a way out, you find none.

It was utter desperation that forced Attaris to open is mouth and try to say his name, but the light pierced through his eyes quite literally, and there were beams of light going from the orb straight into his eyes… He couldn't stand anymore, but he couldn't let out a sound, not even his name that Raphael said would give him power. He covered his eyes…

Maybe they failed? They obviously were a failure, not even near fit enough to be what they were designated to become…

"Bullshit. This is just a room. That is just a… whatever it is. The witch said I don't need a designation… a name."

So Attaris tried to look, but couldn't see. He again covered his eyes. He tapped around until he felt someone's hand, and from the way the hand grabbed his own he deducted it was Malachis.

There was no time. Attaris passed out before he could do anything.

"Too weak, he's down."

Malachi took off the top half of his robe, folded it once and threw it up, calculating the levitation height of the orb carefully from memory. He threw it with all his remaining strength and… he blacked out.

The robe fell onto the orb, but it was on a quick slope down. Just as the robe was falling down it gave Requiel enough time to get a quick glance of the covered ball, and she made a risk, not a calculation. She sprinted off, with heavy heartburn from the orb, jumping on the unfortunate Cassiel who was kneeling halfway between her and the orb, and then she sprung in a very fast, long jump. In mid-air the robe fell completely off the orb and she was blinded… but the punch fell roughly to the center of the orb nevertheless.

There was a lot of vapor, hissing, fire bursting towards the ceiling and a lot of pressurized air, and it made quite a bang… and then silence.

* * *

Malachi rolled over, trying to feel anything. There was a soft, silky material under him, and it was soft under it as well, as he was on something made of… nevermind, it was a bed. He managed to open his painful, painful eyes. He spent the first few seconds enduring the stiff pain and then he observed his surroundings.

It was obviously a rich room, with a great bed which he was still lying on, surrounded by fine silk and supported by obviously a high-quality matress. The bed had support pillars for a great mirror that was positioned right above him. Quite tasteless, but he could have been dead-er and he didn't really want to complain. Next to the bed was a small night stand that looked rather nice considering it was from the same collection as the bed. Malachi tried to remember which era or something it reminded him of… but there was a block in his thoughts that wouldn't give way.

The room itself was square, as opposed to the various round rooms he was in since he started remembering. The walls were of roughly cut stone that did not protrude into the room much, so the walls looked quite straight. There was also a carpet, thick and with long fibers. He sat on the edge of the bed now, feeling the carpet between his sore toes. While enjoying the sensation he noticed a fireplace on the opposite side of the room. Seeing how there was no fire in it now he assumed it was purely aesthetic. There was some strange crest above the fireplace that he didn't have the capacity to analyze now, and he also noticed some necessities in the room, like a desk in the corner to the right of the fireplace, filled with what he could say were ant.. antique accessories. His mind was still choppy and unready. But he did see a window above the desk.

He slowly stood up on his two wobbly legs and strode to the desk, holding onto it while he tried to open the window. Okay… the window is jammed. Or locked or something. Even worse, it's made of stained glass, so you cannot see a thing through it. He found an envelope on the desk, and he observed it thoroughly. There was a seal on it with the same herald as the one above the fireplace, and his name written neatly on the other side. Suddenly he noticed that the room had a scent of cherries residing in the air and reaching his nostrils. It was subtle and sweet.

He used a small stilletto, a knife residing on the desk, to open the letter, tearing the edges quite a lot since he was still not sure on his feet, and his hands weren't in the best working condition either. The note itself remained intact, thankfully. He sighed to clear his head a bit and sat down to read it.

* * *

The aroma of vapour and sulphur irritates her nose. She's not yet dead, it seems. That means the others are alive too, and she's partly happy because she wouldn't be doomed to solitude in this strange place, and then again she was partly irritated by the sulphur and the thought of those incompetent buffoons still ticking somewhere. "Maybe they're here, even. Gah."

She slowly opens her eyes. She is still in the room, but there is nobody else in here with her. Maybe the others are dead? Serves them right for being weak. Uhm… They kinda saved her with that piece of cloth that blocked the light a bit. Darn… now she feels bad.

"You girl are a brave one. Not reckless, but still lashing out when desperate."

"And now the ones who hide in the shadows have a right to criticize?"

"Quick on the tongue as well. Not a good trait."

Suddenly Req hears someone stepping forward and then an unknown whooshing sound, after which there is a glimmer of light that suddenly spreads in a radiant manner and lights the pores of a portion of the opposite wall in a matter of seconds. There is someone here, apparently. A person in a heavy cowled robe, holding a hand on the wall and obviously lighting up the wall by some kind of magic or force.

"Came to finish the job? I'd bet you didn't expect me to survive."

"Actually, my dear, I expected you to do just what you did."

Requiel gets a glimpse of the door and runs for it, looking at the figure across the room the whole time. The unknown man quickly let go of the wall and it became dark again. She opens the door and bright light shines through the room almost completely, but there is nobody there. Just her. Alone in the dark… and scared.

* * *

"Wake up, weakling."

"Hmm?"

"I said: Wake up!"

She felt a fast and dull pain hitting her head, and the shock of the sensation woke her from the semi-slumber she was in. She couldn't open her eyes just yet, she rubbed them gently and slowly felt her body gaining its lost senses back. It was a sensation that poured hope and joy into her, but it was short-lived. Someone grabbed her head and forced her eyes open. She saw only a shadow and stumbled back, hitting a wall with her head. Fortunately, her skull stopped the crash. She slowly shook her throbbing head and looked around her in slow-motion.

She was in a dirty, desolate room with a wooden floor and walls, rotten ceiling, moss growing in the corners, furniture half-broken and a small bug-infested couch on which sat… a shadow.

Just a shadow.

Blackness filling a void. That's how it felt too. She trembled, looking for a way out.

"Say, why nervous all of a sudden" said the shadow, with only it's mouth becoming tangible, or better to say human-like. The rest of the body was still a shadow. The wide grin it kept on it's face was chilling to the bone, with its ivory teeth lunging at you comparing to the dampening darkness that filled the space it appeared to be in.

"Who are you? Where are we? I don't like this place…"

Almost empty questions, and she felt it. She somehow knew the place, but she wasn't sure. She knew that she should know, but she didn't. No know situation. The shadow seemingly got usurped, upset and furious!

"How dare you? You lock me in and then you tell me you don't…"

And it paused, only to return to it's grin in a matter of miliseconds.

"You really don't know?"

Now this was creeping her out. She felt violated, ashamed and hurt and couldn't stand it. There were just too many unexplained questions to bear. The shadow suddenly lost all expression and its mouth disappeared. It continued to talk like usual though, with no emotions attached to the words this time.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I've been locked in here for quite a while. Why did you lock me in here?"

The last sentence almost had a sad note to it, and Orifiel's memories still didn't give in to the inquiry. No answers at all.

"I don't know. I am sorry if I did this to you, I don't know how… I don't know any 'how' at all. And 'why'. Are you scared?"

The shadow was silent, motionless for a second. Then came a sad, cold "Yes."

"You poor thing…"

Ori stood up from the corner and walked straight to the couch with almost a spring in her step, like a child would walk to another child that captivates its interest.

"Do you want to be friends? You wouldn't be lonely anymore."

The shadows mouth appeared again, but with a nice, warm smile. "I would like that very much."

Orifiel smiled. Her adult appearance was quite the opposite from her mind, as she often showed when feeling safe. She was an untainted, happy child. As beautiful outside as she was inside.

"What is your name? Shadowy-person?"

"I… I don't remember. I seem to have lost it through time…"

"Lost it through time? Well, we can give you a new name, a nice one. Hmmm…" She pondered for a few seconds and then she said: "Lisa."

It seemed for a moment that the shadow twitched, and then it said "But I don't remember being a girl!"

"Oh, so you are a boy? I'm sorry, I couldn't tell. Hmm…"

Again she pondered, making a funny, childish face. "Then what do you say about 'Leon'? It's also a nice name."

The shadow seemed to have frozen in place, the swirling of darkness in it seemed to have stopped but then "he" said: "S-Sure! That really is a good name!"

"Are you sure it's okay? You seemed strange there."

"Quite sure, Riffy! Leon I'll be then!"

Orifiel smiled happily. "Good. Now, how do we get out of this place…"

Just as she said that, everything went black and she had a feeling of just finishing a dream, being ready to wake up. She opened her eyes softly as rose petals would touch the ground after riding the lenient spring breeze. The grace that followed her showed the mature side of her, and yet her smile was filled with innocence.

Observing her, one couldn't read her thoughts. It would be hard to read whatever happens in her head, even as she stumbles while getting up. The strange space around her looks old, but still newer than the room she just dreamed about. The walls were made of stone, as well as the floor, with a light carpet and not much else. She made the bed she got off of, and then opened the door that was right in front of her.

A warm wind flew in, and she caught a glimpse of Attaris walking a few paces away from the room. She called him, and he almost jumped. He turned around, a light robe and pants making him look neat. He was neat, but why was he weary? She didn't understand.

"You murdering little… Why? Why kill all those men?"

"Attaris? I never killed anyone! What's with that?!"

"You…" he came very close to her, and she was already so exhausted she could barely stand. He was so good towards her and now he is mad? And he is so good… Too bad… "killed quite a few of our own soldiers out there!" She looked in his deep blue eyes, losing herself in the crevices of the sapphire retinae… "You are crazy!" He is so emotional and firm, a decisive guy… "You used the powers and made such a mess…" Her chest trembled from the proximity of their breaths, his own bursting with a lot of barely controlled energy, and hers so timid now, she stumbled back. He grabbed her hands, still talking furiously "…could've got killed so close to victory!"

He stopped. "You are irresponsible. Either that or plain crazy. I'm going to find the others, and then we will decide what we shall do…"

"'Next', or 'about you'?"
she thought.
Now how should she react to that? Should she go her own way or try to help him find others? Others are nice too, except for the raven-haired lady and man. That only leaves the red-haired girl to be nice. Well, she would surely forgive her…
_________________
Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:38 pm; edited 4 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Thunderbird
Elder



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woooo! Nice to see you getting back to it Cy! I'll take a read through soon... I'm here with just enough time to post a chapter myself. But I've been looking forward to this so I won't hang you to dry for long!
_________________

CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Thunderbird
Elder



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright... I caught up... hadn't forgotten your post here Cy.

It's really nice to have you back writing again. How did it feel getting back in the saddle? I've always found the return after long breaks to be... a little intimidating. But then, after a while you're up and rolling - kinda like riding a bike, it all comes back.

And usually better than before. In this case, I feel you have done just that. I'm noting some clear writing improvements here. While some scenes were better than others, more clearly explained and fully thought out on how a reader would perceive your words, others sort of faltered a little. But while that may be the case, some of your scenes were so amazingly vivid that I was truly captivated by the imagery.

I mean:
Quote:
Malachi rolled over, trying to feel anything. There was a soft, silky material under him, and it was soft under it as well, as he was on something made of… nevermind, it was a bed. He managed to open his painful, painful eyes. He spent the first few seconds enduring the stiff pain and then he observed his surroundings.

It was obviously a rich room, with a great bed which he was still lying on, surrounded by fine silk and supported by obviously a high-quality matress. The bed had support pillars for a great mirror that was positioned right above him. Quite tasteless, but he could have been dead-er and he didn't really want to complain. Next to the bed was a small night stand that looked rather nice considering it was from the same collection as the bed. Malachi tried to remember which era or something it reminded him of… but there was a block in his thoughts that wouldn't give way.

The room itself was square, as opposed to the various round rooms he was in since he started remembering. The walls were of roughly cut stone that did not protrude into the room much, so the walls looked quite straight. There was also a carped, thick and with long fibers. He sat on the edge of the bed now, feeling the carpet between his sore toes. While enjoying the sensation he noticed a fireplace on the opposite side of the room. Seeing how there was no fire in it now he assumed it was purely aesthetic. There was some strange crest above the fireplace that he didn't have the capacity to analyze now, and he also noticed some necessities in the room, like a desk in the corner to the right of the fireplace, filled with what he could say were ant.. antique accessories. His mind was still choppy and unready. But he did see a window above the desk.

He slowly stood up on his two wobbly legs and strode to the desk, holding onto it while he tried to open the window. Okay… the window is jammed. Or locked or something. Even worse, it's made of stained glass, so you cannot see a thing through it. He found an envelope on the desk, and he observed it thoroughly. There was a seal on it with the same herald as the one above the fireplace, and his name written neatly on the other side. Suddenly he noticed that the room had a scent of cherries residing in the air and reaching his nostrils. It was subtle and sweet.

He used a small stilletto, a knife residing on the desk, to open the letter, tearing the edges quite a lot since he was still not sure on his feet, and his hands weren't in the best working condition either. The note itself remained intact, thankfully. He sighed to clear his head a bit and sat down to read it.


Sure there's some things I could pick at where exact wording is concerned BUT this was a very clear and powerful scene! The reference to the window being stained glass... the scent of cherries in the air... all really pulled me in to what I felt was an experiencable place.

And:
Quote:
Suddenly Req hears someone stepping forward and then an unknown whooshing sound, after which there is a glimmer of light that suddenly spreads in a radiant manner and lights the pores of a portion of the opposite wall in a matter of seconds. There is someone here, apparently. A person in a heavy cowled robe, holding a hand on the wall and obviously lighting up the wall by some kind of magic or force.

I missed it at first but came back around to read it again and was really quite taken by this vision - powerful stuff actually.

So, yeah, I could still pick at quite a bit to aide you along the journey of growing further as a writer (I'm sure everyone could pick equally as much at my texts...) but I just wanted to take a moment to share why I thought this was a great way to return to your tale.

I hope the fact that this story lay dormant for so long does not hamper its ability to continue on with an active audience. It was memorable enough for me to recall much of what happened up to now so as I could keep up with what was going on in this chapter, so that's a good sign.


Now, what to do... Well, she seems like she feels rather innocent and if she's really a good person, she'll probably want to know what accidental atrocities she, (or someone else in her body) has committed so she can make them right. Accountability is the hallmark of a hero, no?
_________________

CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic   printer-friendly view    Storygames Home -> The Vault All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Page 3 of 4
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group. Forum design by mtechnik, customized by City of IF
All site content © City of IF or the respective storygame authors.   Terms of use
Home   Book   Storygames   FAQ   Greek myth   About   Policies