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DeadManWalking
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 Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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NEW PET!!!!
I lol'ed at your interpretation of a much beloved disney classic.
twas great.
so Belle is quite the sexual deviant. Didn't see that in the disney movie.
(Also, can i just say, for your disturbment and my amusement, that before we saw Belle i was expecting someone with a lot of tight black leather and a whip of some sort?)
so anyways. You have my general reaction, and my suggestion.
Also, WOOT FIRST POST
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:32 am Post subject: |
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Haha, like the headband with the ears on it. 
Well, her reaction? Well, I've got a thing about large green stones.  It wouldn't have been mentioned if it didn't have some sort of power attached to it of sorts. I say she tries to use it to mesmerise him in an attempt to capture him. After all, two pets are better than one. 
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:53 am Post subject: |
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Hey Phantom,
Yay, another chapter! Good work.
Quite a few little typo's in there, but nothing major. The one that's sticking in my head from reading it this morning was 'collar'... did you mean to say he was wearing a collar, because I think you spelt it color.
Hmmm, he doesn't seem to be manacled in any way, nor does his costume appear to be permanently fixed to him. Then again, if all he has to wear, to prevent being naked, is the panther fur pants, then perhaps he wears the rest simply because it works better as an outfit
Either he's a more willing pet than he lets on, or the control is in his mind in some way, suggesting magicial, or hypnotic powers. But then he should be a much more convincing beast than he is if her powers were of any strength. Where's the stomping around, growling etc? It must be the collar, and all it does is simply prevent him from leaving the room. The rest he must do under fear for his life or something.
So what does she do on seeing us? We aren't sure from the text if either ourselves or Gustav is particularly attractive, or whether that's a quality for determining her taste in pets. Assuming her role from this 'tale as old as time', she has no delusions of there being two beasts. Perhaps she dresses us up as a teacup or dancing candlestick
Happy Writing.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Smee wrote: |
Either he's a more willing pet than he lets on, or the control is in his mind in some way, suggesting magicial, or hypnotic powers. But then he should be a much more convincing beast than he is if her powers were of any strength. Where's the stomping around, growling etc? It must be the collar, and all it does is simply prevent him from leaving the room. The rest he must do under fear for his life or something. |
Very observant, Smee. Be sure to keep that in mind for later chapters! 
Thanks for all your comments, guys!
Any more before the poll goes up?
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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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BlackAmaranth
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| Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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Eee-hee-hee, me likies So, if one of the princesses have gone mad with power, who's to say none of the others have either? Guess we'll have to wait and see. Oh, and I don't think Beauty will kill Jack outright...from what we know of her, she'd probably much rather toy with him a little first...giving him some time to find out more about what's going on, no? Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean Jack will survive 
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for your suggestions!
Poll is uuuuuup!
The common opinion was "New pet!", so I just put up how this would come about.
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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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Lesee- we have a tie, though the "Authors option" was supposed to only be so I could see the results.. I should have made that more clear.
If whoever voted there would like to change their vote, please tell me!
Any more votes before we close?
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BlackAmaranth
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:20 pm Post subject: |
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Oops, I voted author's choice. Switch to teacup please
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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Thankees Amaranth!
Poll is closed- and Jack will be dressed in a teacup or dancing candlestick.
Chapter will be up later this week!
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| Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 4
Jack gulped as the woman’s eyes fixed on him. They were dark, swirling pools, like vortexes of liquid ebony.
“Well, well,” she said quietly, sounding rather surprised. “What have we here?”
Too late, Jack tried to turn away from those hypnotic eyes only to find himself frozen in place as the sorceress slowly walked towards him. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jack noticed that Gustav had gotten down on all fours, back arched and hissing like a cat.
“Good kitty,” the woman said, keeping her eyes fixed on Jack. Gustav gave a kind of meow-bark, then bent down to tear at the shapeless hunk of meat that had appeared out of nowhere. The woman was now directly in front of Jack- a fact that he suddenly realized as she grabbed his face between her smooth, pale hands, tilting his head up to stare directly in her
eyes.
“I am Beauty,” she purred, and Jack found himself luxuriating in the rich darkness of her voice.
“A sorceress like none you have ever met.”
“Well, tek’nikly, I ain’t ever met one before-“ Jack stammered, finding comprehensible thought hard to come by.
The woman’s eyes widened, then narrowed as she pushed her face closer to Jack’s until they were only inches apart. “You haven’t, have you.” She replied. “And who exactly is you?”
Jack found he was too tongue-tied to reply, as the gorgeous face in front of him required too much gaping at to pay attention.
Beauty sighed, the heavy sent of her breath washing over Jack and sending him deeper into a trance. “You won’t be giving me any information willingly then, it seems,” she muttered to herelf. Suddenly she smiled, revealing glistening white teeth. “Let’s try unwilling then.”
Quick as a flash, the woman closed the last few inches between her and Jack’s face, darkly painted lips pressing against Jack’s own. His eyes widened in surprise as thoughts whirled around his head, like ‘What the hell was this weird woman doing?’, then they slowly closed as all independent thought ceased to exist.
~~
A scene suddenly appeared in his mind’s eye. A crow, flying down the side of a tower, something glittering and gold catching its eye. It landed on a roundish perch and began pecking at the golden rope. A burst of laughter disrupted its pecking, and it shrieked indignantly as its perch jerked and fell to the ground, forcing the crow to fly off. It circled in the air, watching disinterestedly as a hunched shape at the top of the tower stowed a bit of the rope into its cloak, cackling all the while. It raised its arms into the air, laughter mounting in volume and pitch, then disappeared with a crack and a flash of darkness, sending the crow to fly higher in a panic with another squawking fit.
Once the ground seemed quiet, the crow circled lower and lower to land on its previous perch of a head covered in golden hair. It walked around a bit, pecked at the fixed open blue eyes, then- finding nothing of interest, flew away.
~~
Jack returned to his own conciousness and began to contribute to the passion of the kiss with a thrill of excitement- until he realized that there was nothing to wrap his tongue around. He opened his eyes in confusion, and saw the woman sitting in a chair across the room, watching him amusedly, stroking Gustav’s head lying in her lap. Jack quickly pulled his tongue back in his mouth and looked down at the floor, cheeks bright red in embarrassment.
“So,” the woman said. “You were sent here by Them, weren’t you… Jack.”
He glanced up, befuddled brain trying to form a complete sentence. “How-“ he began.
“-Did I know?” she finished, grinning. “I know everything about you, Jack.”
“Um-“
“You honestly think I wanted to kiss you?” The woman laughed- a sinister sound that sent shivers down his spine. “It is merely a way for me to delve into the minds of men quickly and painlessly. Though some often take it a bit too far, don’t they, Beastie?” she cooed, ruffling Gustav’s hair as he looked up at her with adoring eyes.
Jack gulped, remembering Gustav’s frantic pleas for help. The woman’s presence in the room had completely changed this man’s demeanor… Why?
“Ah yes- In case you were wondering what you saw earlier while I was- erm- examining you,” Beauty said, looking up from Gustav. “In return for your memories, you were privy to my most recent one. Something about a crow, I believe.” She scratched Gustav again, leaving Jack to squirm in fear of what was about to happen.
“So now, Jack.” She said suddenly, breaking his train of thought. “You have been sent here by Them. It seems, though, that even you don’t know why…” she trailed off, lost in thought. Jack waited in silence, painfully aware of this woman’s power over others. After a few minutes, she shrugged. “Ah well- I needed a new feather duster anyways.”
Jack blinked- looked down, and gave a very lady-like wail. His old, comfortable overalls and shirt had been replaced with a black and white, very tight strapless dress that flared out into a huge feathered spread reaching the ground and trailing behind him.
“What in all th’ bloody ‘ell is this?” Jack shouted, pulling at the dress frantically.
The woman shrugged. “If you’re going to be here investigating for Them, then I want to make your- short” the woman licked her lips-“stay as entertaining for me as possible. It’s been ages since we’ve had any company now, hasn’t it Lovey.” She frowned at Jack’s attempt to tear the dress off, a process consisting of pulling, tugging, a great deal of bawling, and even biting at the seemingly indestructible fabric.
Beauty frowned. “Do stop yanking on that dress- it took me a while to make, and I would be extremely displeased if it was ripped.” Her dark eyes glinted. Though she spoke lightly, something in the tone hinted at dark and cruel punishments if the commands were not followed. Jack froze, hands against his chest in a rather inappropriate manner.
“Much better.” She remarked, still stroking the purring Gustav’s head. “Now, as to why you are here- a fact that I don’t believe you are aware of.” She thought for a minute before answering. “You have been sent here by the Storytellers, no doubt to investigate the latest deaths of their beloved princesses.”
Jack gaped, hands still frozen in groping motions. “Th’ princesses are dead?”
“At the moment, only two,” Beauty said disdainfully, as if two were not enough. “I myself witnessed the death of Lady Rapunzel of the land Reusatiezels Toren just a few moments ago, from the eyes of one of my Ravens. I was not able to discern the murderer, however.” Her voice grew louder, as if talking to someone in another room. “So there- I am NOT the one killing off those little ditzes.”
Jack just stared at her, mouth almost hitting the floor. She looked back at him with a snort of disgust. “Oh please- whoever is getting rid of those aweful creatures is doing this world a favor. Now shut that huge mouth of yours.”
With a snap, Jack complied. His mind was whirling with questions. “What-” he began.
“Tssst!” The woman cut him off sharply. “No speaking unless you are spoken to.” It was that tone again… Jack quickly shushed, clamping his hand over his mouth to still any stray sentences.
“Now…” Beauty leaned forwards, staring at him intensely and pushing Gustav off her lap. “What shall I do with you?”
~~~~
So! What SHALL she do with him?
Thanks for waiting!
(and a quick note- Reusatiezels Toren is simplified Dutch for Huge-Ass tower. )
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I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
Last edited by Phantomfan on Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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Isn't that rather similar to the last question?
also, quasi-French Maid?
Your mind disturbs me.
I'd say give the cat scratching post, but that doesn't quite work, cuz he's a feather duster.
Not sure what advice to give; I'm sure you could come up with something more twisted in that serpentine brain of yours.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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On DMW's note, Maybe he could act as a cat toy (though maybe after something else, like when she's run out of ideas for him, perhaps?). I'd laugh so hard at the image of Gustav running wildly after Jack.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
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If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:23 am Post subject: |
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Heheh! Everso...slightly...disturbing... 
Feather duster, eh? I think probably she's going to have him do a lot of dusting among some very sticky cobwebs.
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BlackAmaranth
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| Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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Heh, methinks Beauty has a soft spot for roleplaying, no?  anywho, as I said before (in a not-so-well-thought-out DP), she isn't the type to kill Jack outright. She might want to know why "They" sent Jack, and how much of a threat he is to her. Or maybe she doesn't care...depends on who They are, and whether or not they're her enemies. I don't know  But in the meantime, I suppose she can just play with Jack a bit. Perhaps have him and Gustav put on a little show for her if she's into that sort of thing, of course...
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| Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:05 am Post subject: |
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My. Very... interesting, Phan.
Personally, it seems to me that Beauty has been hinting towards Jack having a "short" stay and the like- I think that whatever she does, she should end up killing/inconveniencing him.
Though I do like the idea of acting as a scratching post.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for your patience, ladies and gentlemen. I think I'm going to try and get this one revived again.
Hopefully we won't have any more 4 month long waits...
Any more suggestions before I put the poll up?
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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:58 am Post subject: |
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OH MY GOD IT'S ALIVE.
Does that count as a suggestion?
Maybe he finds himself furniturelike, unable to move without someone moving. Kinda like a backwards living furniture thing.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:08 am Post subject: |
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Well what do you know, a poll is up.
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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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Aww was the furniture idea too late? Voted.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:20 pm Post subject: |
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Poll is closed!
Hmmm... What to do with Jack?
Interrogate him 25% [ 1 ]
Cat Toy!! 75% [ 3 ]
Send him out to "dust" 0% [ 0 ]
Put on a show with Gustav 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Kang, Tikanni Corazon
It being Winter Break and all, and the fact that I haven't touched this story in ages, I hope to get a few chapters of this up soon, if there is still intrest of course.
Expect one by next week!!
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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:43 am Post subject: |
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HOLY CARP SOMETHING HAPPENED >.<
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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he he... I get an image of a fish with a halo...
I caught up, as promised, though not in the timeframe I'd hoped cuz I forgot to get to this until reminded by your last post. Anyhoo... LOVE it so far! You have a great sense of creativity and your writing is nice and vivid and fairly cleanly edited (it is now anyhow). Looking forward to the next installment!
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:56 am Post subject: |
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I've been hoping that this one would start up again soon! This was the very first SG that I read when I started on IF two months ago, though I wasn't brave enough to make a post back then!
Can't wait for chapter 5!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
 
 
  
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for being so patient, everyone. Here is the newest chapter- the last one of the decade.
This chapter is going to be a bit weird- bear with me here. It is supposed to be split up into three kind of segments, but since they're so short, I'm just posting them all at once. Hopefully it will clear up a few questions. Happy reading!!
Chapter 5
Jack gulped as he felt Beauty’s gaze fixate on him. He quickly averted his gaze, staring at a single floor tile with a single-minded intensity as he felt a bead of sweat running down his back, staining the satin of the dress as it went.
After a long moment, Beauty smiled. “I do believe I’ve thought of just the thing to do with you.”
“Really?” Jack said, hopes rising- only to wither again as he caught a glimpse of Beauty’s smile. It was a cold, ruthless smile, like that of a cat eyeing the mouse it has just cornered, making the boy’s breath catch in his throat.
“A-a-a-and what’d that be, miss?” Jack stammered, blood running cold. That smile could not mean well for him.
Beauty just continued smiling- if that’s what her expression could be called. “Something useful… and entertaining.” She broke of her gaze on Jack for a brief moment, giving Gustav an affectionate pat on the head as she murmured, “Won’t it be, my pet.” Gustav only gazed back at his with adoring eyes.
She stood suddenly, causing the startled Gustav to jump up with a loud bark. The sorceress turned back to face Jack, tone of voice changing to a brisk and business-like tone.
“You see John,” she began.
“Jack,” the boy corrected automatically, before realizing what he had just done and immediately covering his mouth with his hands, fearing punishment for his interruption.
Beauty raised an eyebrow, but continued. “Jack, it’s been ages since either of us have had anyone to cater to our menial needs, and we have both suffered for it. Especially poor Gustav, who’s been so lonely without a playmate. So you shall now officially be my servant…”
The rest of Beauty’s speech was drowned out by Jack’s sigh of relief. Being a servant was something he could handle. After all, that’s pretty much all he was at home. Plus, he’d undoubtedly be able to find a way out of this place. He remembered Gustav’s pleas for help earlier- maybe they’d be able to find a way to escape together.
“You’re first task-” Beauty’s voice broke through his thoughts. Jack straightened hurriedly, ready to be ordered to clean all the windows or sweep all the floors or whatever it was this crazy lady wanted of him.
“-is to play ‘toy’ for Gustav.”
It took Jack a good three seconds for these words to penetrate his confused brain. The meaning of these words hit him like a sack of bricks as he saw the human-playing-animal thing called Gustav crouching down and growling like a tiger about to pounce. Jack’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. He looked around frantically, picked a direction, and ran.
Or rather, he tried to. The dress Beauty had forced him into wasn’t exactly something that was easy to move in. Nonetheless, he tried. He actually managed to stumble-run a few steps before a heavy body slammed into the middle of his back, nearly breaking his spine in half.
Jack crashed to the floor, Gustav crouched on top of him. Of course, had Jack been clothed in his regular garb, that would have been hall that had happened. However, due to the added complications of an extremely silky fabric and Gustav’s added momentum, the two of them were sent sliding across the floor, smashing into the wall. Positioned as he was, Jack took the whole blow to the head. Stars erupted in front of his eyes, and red fog began to obscure the corners of his vision. He sat up slowly, only to fall back against the wall with a yell as Gustav pounced on him, teeth bared.
Dazed, Jack could only stare at the thing he had thought was human, realizing that the man had completely changed. There wasn’t a single trace of humanity in the poor man’s eyes- his gaze now only the instinctive gaze of an animal.
Jack shook his head, starting to come out of his confused state, just as Gustav let out another growl and bent his head, grasping Jack’s neck between his very human jaws. Jack shrieked in pain and fear as Gustav shook his head, tossing Jack’s head around like a rag-doll and ripping out his throat in the process.
The last thing Jack heard as his vision faded to a blissful black was the sound of Beauty’s crazed laughter.
~~~~~~
A bowl of water holding an image. A bloody corpse laying against the wall, throat ripped out, eyes frozen open and glazed over with the recent death. A hand passes over the bowl.
The image dissipates.
“One has failed,” a familiar dark voice issues from beneath a hood.
Another voice, louder and more flamboyant. “But three are left.”
The hand passes over the bowl again. A pair of faces appears, practically identical, both with blank stares that manage to curdle the blood.
The second voice speaks again. “The next two are ready. Shall we go send our spirit off to its new hosts?”
Fangs glint from underneath the hood in a semblance of a smile. “Yes, let’s.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You find yourself lying on a cold, hard floor. Eyes closed, you do your best to figure out what just happened. It takes a few seconds, but it all comes rushing back. You remember being in a huge castle, talking to a sorceress, and then pain as someone ripped your throat…
Your eyes jerk open, and you find yourself back in the strange room full of doors. The magician and hooded figure are standing in front of you, watching. You clamber to your feet, confused and wanting answers.
Before you can demand an explanation however, the magician holds up a hand, stifling your outburst. “You desire answers, we know,” he says, flinging his bright red cape away from him. The woman merely gazes at you.
“We sent Jack to find out just who is disrupting our land by killing our characters,” he explains, voice loud and commanding.
“Yes, but what does that have to do with me?” You ask, frustrated.
The magician grins, revealing bright white teeth. “We needed someone not of our world to investigate for Us. And who better then you?”
The woman speaks. “Jack was your host. For a while, you were Jack, and Jack was you.”
“By traveling to the sorceress’ house, you have provided us with some very useful information,” the magician adds.
“And killed Jack…” you murmur to yourself, remembering his painful death.
The magician nods, but it is the woman who replies. “Yes. And you will die once more and choose two more doors before you complete your goal.”
There is a brief silence as you process this information.
“And so,” the magician continues, arms gesturing grandly. “It is time for you to chose another door, to continue your hunt. But before you do, We must remind you that you have only two more chances before We must send you back to your own world.”
“So choose wisely,” the woman says as she slowly fades back into the mist.
The magician follows suit, twirling his cape and disappearing in a flash of light.
You are once again alone in this mysterious room of doors. It is time to chose again.
~~~~~~~~~
Hopefully that all made sense... I did my best to clear up some questions that I knew were circling your minds.
So anyways- we need another door! Let's get some descriptions, just like last time!
As always, comments and critiques are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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Was not disappointed Phan! Really good chapter! 
As for the door, what about a door that looks perfectly innocent, just made of plain oak, but with an orb of wood set into the centre. When the door is approached, the orb opens up into an eye, and a soothing, hypnotic voice draws you closer, telling you to open the door. Something in the back of your mind tells you that you shouldn't do it, but you can't stop yourself, and can only watch helplessly, as your hand reaches out, turns the intricatly detailed door knob, and opens the door.
Or mabye one that looks more inviting. A large square door, painted all over with a colourful mural, portraying green fields, full of flowers, a little stream flowing past, with deer and bunnies drinking from it, all beneath a beautiful summer sky. As you go nearer to the door, the picture seems to come alive before your eyes. Tempted by the thought of this being a reality on the other side, you reach out, and open the door, only to find what is on the other side to be quite the opposite of the mural. But it is too late, the choice has been made.
Hope these are okay, Phan! So glad you decided to carry on with this one! Can't wait for chapter 6!
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:17 am Post subject: |
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huh. That DOES clear up some questions. although I am very sad that the magician and the woman lacked the same flamboyance they had earlier.
Also, the next TWO are ready? How would we, erm, I?, the singular protagonist anyway possess two bodies?
As for the door, I say a door frame made of flame of purest white, brilliant, yet comforting. No door settles in that frame, but you can't see through it. The flames are so bright as to blind you when you attempt to look through the doorway, though you feel no discomfort when you gaze on its pristine glow. You feel no heat from the flames as you walk forward, though the flames flare and flicker with a bright hunger. Only when you walk through the door do you feel the heat, like the inside of an oven, slam down upon your shoulders.
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When the dead walk, the living run.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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Wooo, interesting!
I think a trapdoor in the floor is the way to go. The wood is rotten, the iron hinges on it rusted and creaky.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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Score, thank you guys!
And yeah, Deady- I apologize for the lack of flamboyant-ness of the two. Once they got down to a personal, explaining level, it was a lot harder to make them all aloof and flamboyant.
Hooray for all the door ideas!! Any more?
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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One doesn't appear to be a door at all at first, but rather, a proud old oak tree. But as you look closer, you spy a hole at the base of its roots that looks both invitingly curious, and darkly ominous.
Another is less a door than a portal, a wrought silver snake that feeds at the end of its own tail. In the man-sized gap between the silver scales, a billowing shadow surges and seethes, beckoning like a whisper to step through.
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:00 am Post subject: |
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This door is black. Solid black, possibly a metal, but almost frictionless to the touch. Its surface is an ever-changing mosaic of words, appearing and disappearing too fast to be read, at random times and places. Some of them are just printed words, stamped into the surface of the black only to disappear a moment later. Some are scrawled in panicked handwriting, smudged with something that could be tears. Some are bold and angry and red, as if shouting a warning to stay away. Perhaps we can catch a single word, here and there, but nothing that makes sense.
There is no handle, just a block of wood slid through two brackets, one either side of the door. Almost as if it were in place to keep something out, rather than to let us in.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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Score, more readers!
Nice doors, everyone... hopefully I'll be able to twist them to suit my purposes.
And Deady- to answer your question- we'll see everything from the two-person view, but not really... it will all make sense once the chapter is written, don't worry.
Poll is up!!
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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C'mon guys, I need some more votes! Pretty please?
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:03 am Post subject: |
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WOOT I'm back!
And the winner is...
Second door choice! Which one to pick? (see posts for more details)
Deady's door [ 1 ]
Crunchy's Trapdoor [ 4 ]
Thunderbird's Tree door [ 0 ]
Thunderbird's Snake door [ 0 ]
Shady's Black door [ 0 ]
A swordfish! (author's option) [ 1 ]
Crunchy's Door!
The wood is rotten, the iron hinges on it rusted and creaky.
Thanks for reading, guys. Hopefully such a long gap won't throw EVERYONE off...
Next chapter will be up sometime next week, I promise.
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Haha, good to hear it!
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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wow, nearly unanimous. And I didn't even realize I was still up to date with this one! (though missed the poll as a result... that's ok though cuz I would feel strange voting for my own option(s) anyhow and CF's seems to have some unregrattable appeal.)
On a side note... Nice to see ya back Phan!
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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*ignores mentioning the long period of time that has occured between the last chapter and now, hoping the readers won't notice*
Chapter 6
“I have to choose again, huh?” You mutter to yourself. You are quite reluctant to repeat the whole Jack experience, but these doors appear to be the only way out of this weird room... plus, if what that creepy woman said was to be believed, you need only choose twice more before you are free…
You begin to walk around the ever-shifting room, trying to guess which door would be the easiest and simplest choice. A large oak door looms before you, and as you gaze at it, a hypnotic murmur can be just barely heard- you hastily shut your ears to it and keep walking past. You see a door frame of white flame, and directly next to it, a black door made up of a whirlpool of words. You bypass both, and end up in front of a colorful, flowery door, complete with bunnies and deer frolicking in the grass. Attracted by the happy feelings it seems to emanate, you begin to walk towards it-
Only to feel your foot caught by something, sending you sprawling across the floor, the movement stirring up a whirlpool of fog. You slowly get to your knees and feel about with your hands trying to find the thing that tripped you- and there! Your hand brushes against it- a cold, metal ring imbedded in the floor.
As soon as you feel the ancient metal, the ground below gives way with a sickening crunch, and too late you realize that the ring was connected to a trapdoor- a door with wood so rotten it can no longer support your weight, and you are sent tumbling into the blackness below.
The familiar sense of dropping, coiling, twisting, splitting in half, falling----
“Are you alright, brother Hansel?”
“I am, sister Gretel.”
A girl and boy lay stretched out on the dirt path, as if they had just fallen from a great height. The girl rose to her feet, black and white dress falling into position, dark brown hair falling back into its perfect, childlike curls. The boy, slightly older but dressed in an outfit that matched the girl’s dress, followed suit.
They slowly looked around, surveying the barren landscape.
“Where are we, brother Hansel?”
“I don’t know, sister Gretel.”
The girl stopped her slow, mechanical examination of the surrounding landscape and pointed out into the distance.
“Look, brother Hansel. A castle.”
“I see it, sister Gretel.”
“Shall we go visit, brother Hansel?”
“We wouldn’t want to be rude, sister Gretel.”
“If we play with them, they won’t think us rude, brother Hansel.”
“Quite right, sister Gretel. Let’s go play.”
The children grasped each other’s hand and began walking towards the distant mountain range and castle, the slight breeze that passed through the barren valley not even stirring their clothes.
The children walked and walked, never slowing and never stopping. They followed the long, winding dirt path through the valley and over the mountains, down a twisting path to the castle steps. Up the steps they went, hand in hand, in that same unfaltering pace that had taken them all the way there.
They finally stopped when they reached the great castle doors.
“Well sister Gretel, shall we knock?”
“I think we should, brother Hansel.”
“Wouldn’t want to be rude, sister Gretel.”
Each lifted a hand and knocked on the large door.
The sound echoed through the castle, fading away slowly. A brief second after the sound had faded, a small panel opened within the door, revealing a pair eyes.
“Who is it?” the person behind the door asked warily.
“We are Hansel and Gretel,” the children said in perfect unison. “We want someone to play with us.”
“Shhhh!” the person hissed. “Not so loud!”
“What does he mean, brother Hansel?”
“I don’t know, sister Gretel.”
“Be quiet!” The man whispered, getting more and more worked up. “Look, we don’t have any place for children here-“
“But I want to play, brother Hansel.”
The man behind the door nearly had a fit. “Shhhhhh! We don’t want-” He gave up. “Look, if I let you in, do you promise to stay quiet?”
“Quiet as a mouse,” the children answered in unison.
“Fine. Can’t let two children out there to starve anyways…” The man pulled away from the door and shut the panel. A brief second later, the doors opened silently, as if on greased hinges. The children walked into the castle, still hand in hand.
Before them lay a great hall, with a dozen servants rushing about. They were all going about their daily duties, but with an air of fear and worry surrounding every action. Every step was carefully and slowly taken, every plate and dish placed down with the utmost care, so there was no more then a hushed murmur of people working.
As the children wandered in, a loud crash shattered the blanket of quiet. Everyone in the hall turned to the source of the noise; a young serving girl who had dropped her cleaning bucket. Water was everywhere, but no one paid any heed- they merely stood as if rooted to the spot, dishes half-placed, brooms still in the air, all staring at the unfortunate serving girl whose face was frozen with fear. Everything was still for a good ten seconds- no one even breathed.
Finally, there was a collective sigh of relief, and everyone unfroze and continued with their chores- all except the girl who had dropped the bucket. She still stood frozen, hands clapped over her mouth, eyes fixed on the bucket that had caused the commotion. Two guards appeared from another room, grabbed the girl by both arms and hurriedly escorted her out of the hall. Silent tears ran down the girl’s face, but not a sound escaped from her mouth.
The children watched the whole series of events, still standing hand in hand as the muffled undertone of servants at work resumed.
“Very strange, don’t you think brother Hansel?”
“Very strange indeed, sister Gretel.”
“What should we do now, brother Hansel?”
And there you have it folks. What SHOULD these creepy kids do?
As always, everything is welcome.
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:23 pm Post subject: |
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I say make a really big noise.
That'll turn out really well!
Also, Hansel and Gretel are creepy as hell.
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When the dead walk, the living run.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you Deady!
I was trying to model them after some sort of The Shining characters...
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Phantomfan
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| Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:21 am Post subject: |
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Just bringing this back into people's radars.... Anyone else got any suggestions?
_________________
I've been pulled back from oblivion to lurk about the City once more. Though the music of the night always beckons...
Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter Phan! Sorry about the delay.
I say that they follow the guards and the servant girl. See where they take her, and if possible try to talk to her, and find out why everyone is so afraid to make any noise. Even if they don't get a chance to talk, finding out what happens to her might be a good enough source of information.
Look forward to the next one!
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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| What should our good friends Hansel and Gretel do? |
| Make a loud noise |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Follow the servant girl (currently being dragged away) |
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33% |
[ 1 ] |
| Go find some food |
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66% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 3 |
| Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Thunderbird |
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