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Eden's Call - Ch.11: The Balance of Power
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Tikanni Corazon
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Lil!


Fab chappie, as always, and, like Sagi, I'm liking the reintroduction of Caterinn, and wondering where it might go. I'm not so certain that her loyalty to her brother will come through against the need for revenge at being imprisoned over the years against her people. I think it could go either way personally, and I'm glad that it's so unpredictable. It makes the tale all the more exciting. Smile


I also found Elizabeth to be very amusing. Despite her age, she really comes across as a strong minded and willed woman, and hope she'll be reappearing in the future. Smile


For the dp, I was thinking much along the same lines of Andi at first, in that Luke should try blackmailing Caterinn by threatening her with remaining in her prison. But then I pondered over it for a little while and thought to myself 'How would I feel personally if I'd been blackmailed into helping people who'd made my recent existence pretty much unbearable for the last decade, and for something that she didn't do?' And my conclusion was that I would very, very much feel like going against it on the pure principle. I'm sure that's the way it would be for most other people too, and even if she did consent, I don't think she could be trusted after that. She'd also have lost any trust she may herself have put in her brother Luke.


I say Luke plays upon the fact that she's his older sister and tried to get her to do it for his sake. Play the little brother.


Much enjoyed, Lil! Keep up the good work! Smile

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Luke may not believe that he's part of this family, but he is proof of Catarinn's innocence, standing there right in front of her. Whether he thinks they're right about his heritage or not is academic - they can't deny that they were wrong to imprison her.

I'd say make her an offer. If she agrees to help out, then offer her a bet for her freedom.

If Luke can prove that he's not who they think he is, then Catarinn is incarcerated for good. But, if they can prove that he's part of the family, her innocence is proved and she walks free.

Since Luke is convinced he's right, he'll be confident that he'll win the bet and Catarinn will be safely locked up again once she's transported everyone to safety.

But Catarinn knows she's innocent now, so I think she'll take up the bet. Smile
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 3:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright people! Let the voting... BEGIN!
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted!
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let her rot if she won't help. Not like any loyalty is owed to anyone here, much less someone who actively refuses to help the wounded.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:43 pm    Post subject: Vote Reply with quote

I vooooted. I don't see any reason to keep her after she helps for now, and I also don't see her helping JUST 'cause of relations. So, set the woman free after she helps sounds good to me!
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still need a tie breaker! If I don't get one by the end of today, Poll will be closed and I will either Re-Poll with Tied options OR I will make Chapter 10 with my own discretion... whichever is more dangerous. XD

Seriously though, please, TieBreaker.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Based solely on everyone's reaction to the DP, I broke the tie. Crunchy has a point, but I don't see how Luke has any position to promise her freedom with any sort of certainty- and if he can't get her free after she helps him, it's just going to make things worse. Better to ham up the sibling love.
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 5:55 am    Post subject: Chapter 9: The Price Reply with quote

Warning: This tale is going to have serious themes and some violence. PG-13 Rating.

Chapter 9: The Price

Elizabeth made a noise of disapproval at Catarinn’s speech, and at that, Catarinn herself focused her gaze on the elderly woman. “Good to see you in such good health Elizabeth. Was it not you who told the Council that I was too dangerous to be out on my own?” The crazed woman made air-quotes with her fingers before she cackled again and turned away from both Luke and Elizabeth, her emaciated figure sauntering back into the shadows with ease. “You know what I want, don’t you Lucas? I want OUT. I want to be free to breathe the fresh air again, to touch my feet to the green grass of an overgrown garden. So if you can get that for me, I’ll save your precious remnants of Eden’s Temple.”

Luke glanced at Elizabeth, at a loss for words, wondering what he should say. Elizabeth however was glaring hard at Catarinn and soon she shook her walking stick at the younger woman, stepping forward and shouting in rapid Spanish, some English mixed in as well. “Foul!” and “Abomination of nature!” were the only English phrases that Luke could make out from Elizabeth’s angry tirade.

Far from offended, however, Catarinn seemed amused by Elizabeth’s outrage. She chuckled darkly as she paused, half hidden by the shadows she’d walked towards, her back still to the both of them. “Tut, tut, Elizabeth. If my sister could hear you swearing like that... but she can’t now, can she? She’s passed on from this life, I felt her blood-binding flee my flesh within the moment of her death.”

Elizabeth let out a shuddering gasp of shock and stamped her staff down on the floor hard. A slight shudder ran through the earth, emanating from the old woman herself but only a shudder. “Impossible. Marianne would never have used blood in a binding - “

“Oh but she did, dear sweet Elizabeth.” Catarinn cut Elizabeth’s explanation off as she turned around to face both Luke and her, her storm grey eyes fixed on the elderly Spanish woman. “You see, the only way to keep me complaint was to bind me, and the only way to bind me was to use a blood relative. And since all of you thought our little brother here dead, she had to use her own.” Now that steely gaze was turned onto Luke but it seemed softer perhaps, a hidden amount of affection in them flickered through Catarinn’s face before she set her jaw again. “Your precious Lady Marianne would leave nothing to chance concerning me. But of course, she never expected her life would be in danger or ended prematurely.”

“Enough!” Luke’s voice rang out sharply and he gave each woman a hard look. “Both of you, that is quite enough. Elizabeth, wait outside. I want to speak with Catarinn alone.” The old woman stiffened at Luke’s order and drew herself up to argue.

“I don’t think it wise to - “ She began but was soon cut off by Luke’s curt reply.

“If she wanted to kill me, shouldn’t I already be dead? Isn’t that why you lot think her magic is so dangerous? You think she killed me or her brother ten years ago? Well, since all of you Eden bunch are insisting I’m her brother, I guess she didn’t kill me, now did she? So, please, Elizabeth, give me five minutes to speak to her in private. Alright?” This entire situation was becoming far too ridiculous for Luke to accept and there was a nasty headache forming above his eyes. He rested a couple fingers against his temple lightly and closed his eyes, waiting for Elizabeth to leave.

He heard the grating of earth and stone that told him Elizabeth had grudgingly granted his request and left him alone with the possibly insane woman. Luke didn’t move right away, and it was Catarin who broke the silence with a loud long whistle. Luke removed his hand from over his face and opened his eyes to give her a flat look. She smirked and folded her thin arms over her front. “Didn’t you grow up into a strapping young lad?” She was appraising him, as if as proud of him as she could have been, were she his mother.

Luke groaned internally and reached up to wipe grit out of the inner corner of his eye. “Look, Catarinn,” He began slowly, his voice polite and quite neutral. “I have had the weirdest few days recently and it would be really nice if you could not complicate things anymore than they already are. Sure, I might be your long lost brother. And if I am, don’t you want to do everything in your power to help me? Isn’t that why they thought I was dead for ten years? Because you did something to take me off their radar?” He looked over at her coolly and was surprised to find Catarinn standing there with her hands clasped together in front of her, looking almost demure.

Her chest heaved with a slow, great sigh and she looked sad, rather than snarky and arrogant for once. “Yes, Lucas. I did. And I’m glad you were able to grow up in a family where you wouldn’t have to look over your shoulder every day. Where none of this applied to you. But it seems no matter what I’ve done, it caught up to you in the end, didn’t it?” She didn’t sound crazy now; in fact, she sounded quite sad and remorseful.

Luke glanced around to make sure that Elizabeth was indeed gone and then approached Catarinn slowly putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. “Why didn’t you tell them the truth? That I wasn’t dead?”

Her eyes watered and she inhaled sharply, sniffing slightly. “Because they would’ve searched for you, Lucas. If I let them believe you were dead, then they wouldn’t bother searching. They’d leave you alone to grow up and live a normal life, instead of one full of magic, demons and the Charge to protect the ignorant.” She swiped at her eyes with the back of one grey-looking hand and let out a little shuddering sigh. Luke stared at her, floored that someone he didn’t know could have this much affection for him.

He squeezed her shoulder again, feeling really awkward when suddenly she flung her arms around his waist and squeezed him, breaking out into a full out sobbing fit. He stiffened in surprise and shock and felt how thin Catarinn truly was; her arms were barely sticks and he could barely feel the amount of strength left in them when she hugged him, yet she seemed to be clinging onto him for dear life. Way to go, dumbass. You make women you don’t even know cry.

Luke patted Catarinn’s back gently, not sure what else to do as she her sobs grew softer and she murmured things like ‘my baby brother’ and ‘can’t escape this stupid life’. “Uhm, Catarinn, listen. It’s nice that you care about me and all, but the people up top… they need your help. A lot of them are injured… and there’s one guy… I think he was possessed, but it’s gone now, and he needs help bad.”

At the sound of the phrase “he was possessed” Catarinn let out a startled choking noise and leapt back from Luke and looked up at him in shock. “He was possessed but it’s gone now? How is it gone? When they take someone, they take their soul and bind it with their essence. It’s impossible to extricate a demon when they’ve possessed someone, Lucas.” She caught sight of the pensive look on his face and her brow furrowed in concern. “Lucas?”

He tapped his thumb with his finger. “Catarinn, I know someone who can do it. She has already without even knowing she can do it. She’s upstairs too, and she’s scared.” Luke looked up and met Catarinn’s eyes. “Will you help them? For me?” He asked quietly, a slight plea in his voice.

Catarinn’s storm grey eyes met Luke’s warm almond-colored ones and she sighed heavily, her shoulders falling in defeat. “Yes, Lucas. For you, I will help them.” She conceded, walking toward the door of the her prison and knocking three times to let Elizabeth know they were done talking in private.

The little old Spanish lady soon opened the door and stepped in, eyeing both Catarinn and Luke up beadily. “Well? Will she consent to give assistance?” She asked, looking at Luke finally.

It was Catarinn who answered Elizabeth’s question however, drawing herself up to her full height and seeming to gain an aura of power, of respect as she did so. “Yes, I will assist the remnants of Eden’s temple, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth looked startled at being addressed directly by Catarinn but gave a slight nod nonetheless and waved them both out of the room. “Come on then. I’ll be collapsing this entire place when we get everyone out. Let’s go.”

Luke and Catarinn stepped into the antechamber at the elderly lady’s urging and after some fussing and a few muttered curses under her breath, Elizabeth tapped the earth once with her walking stick and the earth began to rumble gently beneath them, rising like a platform up into the air, zipping them right past the stone slide the old woman had created earlier. Catarinn, Luke noticed, had to grip both Elizabeth and his shoulders gently for balance when the platform shuddered to a halt before the entrance to the tunnels in the main temple. How long has she been refusing food? He wondered as they stepped off the earth platform and followed Elizabeth back into the tunnels. Had she really given up hope that they would release her one day?

Luke’s thoughts kept him busy until they finally returned to the cavern where the wounded were waiting, tense as deer about to spring across the highway at high noon. Sighs of relief were audible around the room when they saw Luke and Elizabeth, but those that were inhabitants of the temple looked warily at Catarinn as she stepped into the cavern after them, more than a little concerned. Sasha, however was the one who rose to her feet, glaring at Catarinn hard. “You!” She pointed directly at Catarinn, looking furious. Catarinn’s nostrils flared and her grey eyes went steely as if bracing herself for a fight. “So it’s you then, is it? The one who can unravel a demon’s essence from a human soul? I remember you, child. When you were a teenager and you had nothing more to occupy yourself with other than what style to do your hair for scho-“

“You did this to me. You bitch!” Sasha cut off Catarinn’s cold, uncaring tone and rolled her sleeve up to show the mark on her upper arm before advancing toward Catarinn. Luke started to step between them and Catarinn waved an arm through the air, a ripple of power travelling through it toward Sasha, as if in warning.

Sasha paused and stood still, still glaring at Catarinn. “I did not Mark you, girl. Marianne’s selection of those on the Search for fresh blood did. But it is my fault you were Marked. She did it to gain an imprisonment sentence for me from the Council, instead of death.” She then turned to address the room at large. “I have the power to move all of us, instantly, from here to the Black Hills and to the Temple of Lorein, the second temple in Eden’s fallback network. If you want to get out of here before Elizabeth collapses it to hide Eden from discovery of the ignorant, you will shut your trap and stand together. And stand still when I begin the spell.” She added, with a sharp look in the direction of the teenagers.

Elizabeth glared with an almost hateful expression at Catarinn as she walked toward Sasha and pulled the brunette away from her own glaring match with the other woman and gestured that she needed help moving the unconscious soldier on the ground closer to the others as the rest of the group, including Luke began to rise and move to surround the thin woman in the center of the room.

Soon enough, they were assembled around Catarinn in a circle and she gave Elizabeth a sharp nod to begin the series of gentle earthquakes that would destroy the tunnels and all that lay within it. As the earth began to rumble for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, Catarinn began to hum wordless notes and move her arms sharply through the air, drawing symbols in the air. As her spell grew to a crescendo, she gave a sharp turn and all of them felt like they were suddenly compressed into nothingness for a single fearful instant, and then they were breathing deeply of air scented with crisp clean pine, not dirt and stone soaked in blood.

But before they could breathe a sigh of relief there was a sharp shout and people surrounded them with spears and sharp weapons not unlike the ones the Guardians of Eden wielded when Sasha and Luke arrived. “Who are you heathens? Demons?” One of the men shouted in an aggressive grunt as women on either side of him jabbed forward with spears to keep the group from breaking apart.

Before Elizabeth or Luke or anyone could fight their way out to make themselves heard and to explain, Catarinn collapsed, falling forward onto the hard ground, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, from her nose and from the inside corners of her eyes. She was deathly pale, almost grey


Your DP: Well, we got out of there. But what have we gotten ourselves into? The Temple of Lorein doesn’t seem quite friendly to strangers even if they fight the same fight. And can Catarinn possibly recover from this or is she already too far gone from using this much power in a weakened state?

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Last edited by Lilith on Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:29 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Lil!


Wow, fab chapter, and I'm loving Catarinn's character as she grows! Despite her years imprisoned and alone, she seems to have retained that air of being in charge, and, to be honest, I cannot help but warm to her due to everything she's been through, especially since she brought it upon herself just to save Luke from the life she'd grown up with.

I noticed this one little typo...


Quote:
Sighs of relief were audible around the room when they saw Luke and Elizabeth, but those that were inhabitants of the tmple looked warily at Catarinn as she stepped into the cavern after them, more than a little concerned.


And this...

Quote:
Elizabeth however was glaring hard at Catarinn and soon she shook her walking stick at Catarinn, stepping forward and shouting in rapid Spanish, some English mixed in as well.


Maybe change the second one to 'the other woman' or 'the younger woman' or something similar, just to resume the flow that precedes and follows. Smile


For the dp...I'm thinking that the people with the spears are going to be merely guards for the temple, and aren't going to wish them any harm once they know who they are. It's just a matter of explaining it to them, which I'm sure Elizabeth will be capable of doing well enough.

As for Catarinn, I'm thinking Luke is a nice enough chap that, even though he's still not wholly convinced that they're brother and sister yet, he'll be grateful and touched by the fact that Catarinn has put herself through so much suffering and possibly made a fatal mistake in helping everyone escape at Luke's own request now. He'll get to her, and make sure they she's taken care of.

I wasn't entirely sure on what the DP was, so I hope that will suffice for an option. *giggles*


Much enjoyed, Lil! Keep up the good work! Smile

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fantastic chapter, Lilith! Aptly named too, because now I'm wondering if it's named after the deal made with Catarinn, or what happened at the end.

Like Tika, I believe Luke is still skeptical about his heritage, but he's also a kind and gentle person. Whatever happened to Catarinn, I believe he's guilt-wrecked by what happened, and will now compensate for it by tending to her. Even if he doesn't know what to believe.

And yes, let's hear Elisabeth and Sasha take charge with diffusing the situation while Luke tends to his alleged sister.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank-you Tika & Sagi for reading & playing. Any other suggestions before I run a poll?
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love it, Lil! sorry it took so long to get to this!

We can't kill her NOW!! I like her! Those symptoms sound pretty grim though...

I'm going to f5 tika on this one.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 5:41 am    Post subject: I Think. . . . . . Reply with quote

Another fabulous chapter Lilith-chan. The sudden switch of Cat's personality just seemed to fit right there. At least now we know why she was imprisoned.


For the DP. . . . . .Pull some really kool magic thing where he reacts to her fall and the threat with some sort of magical barrier or something. Our heroin has a really neat gift, s'bout time Luke flexed his mystic muscles!


Keep'em comin' Lil-chan!
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Below is an image taken as a print screen and copy/pasted/cropped down to size of the poll results. The Poll was ended yesterday and ran for a total of 10 days.

Thank you to the total of 2 people who voted.

I will begin writing the next chapter and slogging through. If anyone feels I should have this moved to Linear with the lack of voting in Polls, please say so now.



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure about Linear. I think we just had a slow 2 weeks then.
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Warning: This tale is going to have serious themes and some violence. PG-13 Rating.

Chapter 10: The Temple of Lorein

Catarinn had transported them to an open clearing in the center of a dense growth of coniferous trees. Not a single person could tell whether or not it was just one grove or if they were in the center of a very thick wood. At the guard’s shouting however, the refugees from Eden seemed to shrink together, as if they were ready to just go back to the temple and let themselves be buried in earth and debris while the tunnels collapsed instead of facing the warriors before them.

Elizabeth raised her walking stick in the air and started shouting back at the warriors surrounding them. “We are not demons! We are from the first Temple! The first Temple of Eden has fallen! We are survivors and request aid and shelter from the second Temple, our neighbors and brothers and sisters in arms!” The old woman’s face was neutral and gave nothing away as she stood her ground when the burly speaker approached her from the Temple of Lorein’s guards.

“You there, elder woman.” He said, glaring down at the tiny Spanish lady. “How did you come to be here without using demonic power? That is not Temple-magic.” He demanded, fists clenched around the handle of his spear, as though he longed to use it even though he’d planted the point firmly into the earth by his feet. The burly spearman was about six feet, three inches tall with dark-tanned skin, chocolate brown eyes and hair the color of sun bleached straw on a summer’s day. With his lean musculature, he could probably throw a javelin the length of a football field without breaking a sweat.

“You, sir, will mind your elders! I am Elizabeth, as I said before, and I control the earth and stone that you walk on every day!” Elizabeth shouted back in her crotchetiest manner, waving her walking stick at him and then slamming its point down on the ground, making the earth quiver with a pulse of her power. When the earth shook, the guards all gave each other a nervous glance before looking to their leader and nodding.

“My apologies, Elizabeth. You may call me Craig. We’ve never seen a magic that can transport through the Void before… except when the demons are exiting their realm and slashing into ours to try and destroy us.” The leader replied hastily, reaching out and offering the elderly woman his hand. “I will open the temple and announce you right away.” He added, retracting the offered limb when Elizabeth’s sharp eyes narrowed and she twirled her walking stick in her hand menacingly. He turned and nodded to his comrades, stepping away from Elizabeth as two of the guards move forward, leather boots crunching on the leaves that littered over the ground.

The two guards placed each of their left hands on a large boulder that was very close to a tall pine tree not far away from the group’s vicinity. They muttered words in a foreign language under their breath then stepped away. For a moment, nothing happened… until the stone suddenly cracked sharply, right through the middle and fell away into to two pieces, revealing a square hole cut into the earth that sloped gently downwards with roughly hewn stone steps set into the dirt. Just past the final step, the dirt turned into polished white marble that’s been well cared for but a solid oak door with a shiny brass handle blocked the passage from opening any further.

A third guard put down the spear he’d been carrying at a quick nod from Craig and jogged down the steps to wrest open the door. “Come on, injured and conscious first.” Craig called in a louder voice as he started for the steps to help the refugees that needed assistance in getting down the steep steps. “The rest of you, back to your duties.” He then ordered to the other guards, who all disappeared back into the shadows of the trees and brush at their leader’s command while the refugees shuffle forward to the steps, most nursing injuries, others just shaking with exhaustion, fear or a combination of both.

Luke managed to struggle free and move forward to kneel down next to Catarinn’s prone form, turning her over and checking for a pulse. “She’s very weak, Elizabeth. It’s like her body is struggling to move the blood hard enough to even give me a pulse on her neck.” He said urgently, looking around from the guards to Elizabeth to the other refugees for help. No one stepped forward and he looked back down at Catarinn, concern written all over his face. If she stops breathing… it’s my fault… I asked her to do this… I asked her to bring us here at great personal risk to herself, and I’m not even her brother… Guilt crashed over him in waves and he was so absorbed in it that he didn’t realize until a soft touch across the back of his hand made him jerk slightly. He looked up and straight into Sasha’s eyes; she’d fought her way free of the crowd and had moved to bend down and help him sit Catarinn upright, to help her breath easier.

“Come on, up you get.” Sasha murmured to the woman, her brow furrowed slightly. “I’ve still got to have a chat with you about this Mark on my arm, so you can’t be dying on me just yet.” She added, glancing up at Luke encouragingly, meeting his gaze and giving him a smile. “Help me. I can’t exactly hold her up on my own here.” She said, waving at Catarinn’s partially slouched over form.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Luke apologized as he held up Catarinn’s other side and slowly, but steadily, the two of them brought the collapsed former Guardian to her feet and each threw an arm about their shoulders. “Where can we take her?” Luke asked the leader of Lorein’s guards, after he was done helping to direct the uninjured teenagers to where they should go.

“To the first door on your left in the temple. Ask for Healer Adam. He’ll put her right if anyone can.” Craig grunted in response, before glancing between him and Elizabeth. “Our Lady will want to speak with you, Revered Elder. If you are uninjured, I can lead you to her chambers.” He offered, turning back started pulling the heavy door shut again behind them once the last of the refugees had filed into the marble tunnel.

Elizabeth stood at her full height, squinting up at Craig as she was surveying him again before giving him a slight nod. “That would be acceptable, sonny.” She pointed at Luke and Sasha, who were struggling with Catarinn being dead weight. “Those two are not to leave us just yet, however. I want a word with your lady about the girl especially.” She stated aloud just as Sasha managed to open the first door on the left as they’d been directed before. Then Craig nodded and led Elizabeth down the marble corridor and out of sight.

Luke and Sasha, having heard Elizabeth’s comment, looked at one another briefly, each knowing that the other was wondering the same thing: Are we ever going to get out of here and go back to our normal lives?

They were startled out of their reverie by a sharp voice nearby. “What are you two doing in here, you’re not inju- oh…” Luke and Sasha had turned with their burden toward the speaker, noting his white robes marked him as a magic-user and not one of the guardians. Green eyes looked up and down Catarinn’s unconscious body as a hand came up to press the inside of his wrist to her forehead. “Bring her here. There’s a free bed in the back corner.” He beckoned them to follow him to an empty bed that was barely twin-sized in a simple metal frame and sterile white sheets along with a single pillow were the only things that covered the average mattress.

Luke and Sasha lifted Catarinn carefully into the bed as they could and then Sasha turned to the white-robed man starting to approach her. “Craig told us to ask for Adam to see to her? Healer Adam?” The white-robed man nodded slowly, grabbing a wheeled stool and sitting down on it as he felt for Catarinn’s pulse on her wrist. “You’ve found him, miss. If you two are alright, however, I would make myself scarce before I put you to work in the ward here. I’ve got far too few helping hands.”

They shared a glance again before looking back at Healer Adam as he pulled a normal doctor’s stethoscope out of his robe pocket and put it in his ears, placing the endpiece’s flat-side down on Catarinn’s chest, apparently listening first to her heartbeat and then each of her lungs as her shallow inhales made her chest rise and fall slightly every so often. When Adam took the stethoscope out of his ears, Luke spoke up. “We’d like to stay for her. And we’ll help if you need it. There’s not much we can do magic-wise, but we can keep things clean and help administer fluids. But please, tell us… will Catarinn live?”

Adam looked from Luke’s to Sasha’s face before he spoke, looking solemn. “It’s like she’s had a hard blow to the head. She’s in a deep coma, but I don’t see any contusions and I’ve slipped my magic through her body to check for a hemorrhage on her brain and there’s nothing there. It’s just like her spirit, her mind, all of her just decided to give up. There’s nothing I can do for her at this time. She’s going to have to come out of it on her own or…” He paused and shook his head.

“Or what, sir?” Sasha breathed, stepping forward and placing her hand on his arm, gripping it very tightly, her face strained and pale, glancing from Catarinn back to the Healer.

Adam looked down into Sasha’s eyes with a sad expression. “If she doesn’t come out of it on her own, she will die within a week, maybe two. I can’t be sure of exact timing, but her body won’t last much longer in this state.”


Your DP: Well, well, well… what have we gotten ourselves into this time? Do Luke and Sasha stay in the ward and try to help Catarinn somehow? Do they escape and try to pass the guards outside? Or do they do something else entirely? It’s up to you my clever and patient readers!

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 8:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome, Lil, as usual! Smile


I'm glad that Luke and Sasha aren't looking upon Catarinn's condition as being an easy way to leave, now that she's out of the way. I'm liking Luke in particular. From what we've heard so far, I'd say he's most certainly going to be Catarinn's missing brother and feeling obligated to care about her now will very likely only make them closer if/when she wakes up...which I really hope she does, as I really like the character, and I think she deserves more for what she's suffered.


For the DP...I think they should stick around and help Healer Adam, mainly because they'll be in close proximatey to Catarinn, and Luke will have ample opportunity to try and get through to her in her comatose state before it's too late. She got herself into the mess she's in for him, starting right from when he was a little boy, knowing what she would suffer for it. She's now at deaths door, and again, she did it for Luke. If anyone is going to help pull her back, it will be him. Every opportunity he gets, he should sit by her side, hold her hand and talk to her, hoping that something will get through.


Much enjoyed, Lil! Keep up the good work! Smile

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great chapter, as usual, Lil'!

How I see it, there's no way Luke will leave Catarinn, so he'll stick around the infirmary to help. Sasha, on the other hand, will explore the place and attempt to learn as much as possible about this strange new world they didn't know existed.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry so late, Lily! not sure how i missed this one...anywho, i loved it as usual! Elizabeth makes me giggle. she's so spunky. XD

i'm going to go with everyone else here and say that we stick around the infirmary. it sounded like Elizabeth would be coming back for us soon anyways.

keep going!! lol!
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank-you Andolyn, who has been my only single vote this round of polling. The rest of my readers, there's one day left for voting before my poll closes automatically, so if you really want to have a say in what happens in Chapter Eleven, I'd suggest you vote now.

Thanks,

~Lily~

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Arrgh! I missed voting! Sad

Luckily, the winning vote was what I would've voted too. Razz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Falling behind at work be damned, it was well worth it! This is an amazing story Lilith!

Sorry I couldn't get enough time to read it earlier, and that I missed the poll for this round. I agree with the winning vote, though, so all's well that ends well I suppose!

I am really liking Catarinn's character, even though she has only been with us in the story in short spurts so far. I hope she survives this bout, as I would greatly like to see her interact with Luke and watch their sibling bond grow. I'm also intrigued by her potential relationship with Sasha. It seems like Sasha's brand of magic is a scarce as Catarinn's, so they could be thrown together into a teacher/pupil circumstance, with a dubious friendship/respect coming from it.

The only way to find out is to read more, so I excitedly await the next chapter! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Warning: This tale is going to have serious themes and some violence. PG-13 Rating.

Chapter 11: The Balance of Power

Sasha looked over at Luke, her brown eyes wide with concern, seeing the same expression reflected back at her from Luke’s face. “I’m going to check on my other patients. You two can stay or you can leave, it’s your choice.” Adam said, making a note on a clipboard and moving away from both of them. Luke approached Sasha slowly but before he could open his mouth, Sasha held up a finger to silence him.

“Look at this place, Luke.” She said in an undertone, her own eyes surveying the ward with interest and calculation. “This isn't a hospital ward, it’s a stone cavern, just like back in the other temple or whatever it was. How is she going to live here without fluids being intravenously given to her when she’s like this…” Sasha’s voice became urgent as she placed her hands on his forearms and gripped them tightly.

He sighed heavily and draped an arm around Sasha’s shoulders, using her furthest one to turn her and point after Adam, as he settled himself beside one of his other female patients and placed his hand on top of hers. While Luke and Sasha watched, the hand Adam had on the patient’s began to glow faintly, as if illuminated just beneath the surface, and the glow soon passed into the patient’s skin and traveled up her arm into the rest of her body. “I think that’s how they take care of patients here, instead of with all the IVs and beeping machines and whatnot.” Luke muttered in an undertone to his companion.

Sasha rubbed her hands over her upper arms, as if chilled suddenly and sighed. “I guess we better help then, shouldn't we?” She asked, glancing up at Luke, who nodded down at her. She exhaled all of the air in her lungs in one big whoosh before taking a deep breath and starting to walk toward the nearest person in a bed, when Elizabeth returned to the infirmary and pointed directly at her.

“You, child. You come with me. Luke, you may stay here with Catarinn.” She commanded with a wave of her hand and shake of her walking stick. Sasha, however, stood her ground and narrowed her eyes at the small Hispanic woman.

“Can you at least tell me why I have to go with you? Just for once in this entire messed up day, or week, or however long I've been with you people, I’d like to know what the hell I’m getting into.”

Elizabeth’s eyes flashed briefly and she sucked in air, seeming to swell with power but only for a moment, then she returned to being the petite elderly woman with a walking stick. “I’m taking you to see Lorein’s lady, Sonya. She’s bound to know more about your power and how we're to use you in this war than I do.” Her voice wasn't unkind but the firmness in her tone brokered no argument.

Sasha gave a slight nod and started after Elizabeth, only pausing when Luke reached out and squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. “I’ll stay with Catarinn.” He reassured her before releasing her and going to sit on the edge of the unconscious Guardian’s bed.

The ghost of a smile flickered over the younger woman’s lips as she squeezed Luke’s hand in response and then turned to go, a whispered Thanks, clinging to the air between them. She couldn't explain it, but somehow, Sasha felt responsible for Catarinn now that the latter was so close to death’s door. She followed Elizabeth and her walking stick through the stone tunnels, not unlike the ones they had just left, only made of dark gray rock rather than red dirt and sandy earth colored ones, the soft tap, tap of the stick muffled by the slight rustle of Elizabeth’s cloak. The only light they could see by came from the torches that were set into brackets along the twisting, winding halls and showed that these tunnels were older than Eden’s, the multiple stones polished to a high shine and the tunnels reinforced with bracing at intervals and turns.

Eventually, the older woman stopped in front of a large boulder leaning against the wall, blocking their path; Sasha almost stumbled into the smaller woman at the sudden stop, as her thoughts had been back in the infirmary with Catarinn and Luke, wondering if she’d woken up yet or if she was still in the comatose-like slumber. She looked at the boulder and then looked at Elizabeth, confused.

The old woman smiled briefly and gave the boulder a slight tap with her stick, making the large stone crumble into nothing more than dust, revealing a comfortably-sized cavern within that reminded Sasha of a fussy old lady’s living room. However the woman sitting in the armchair that faced the entryway, while undeniably old by the white of her hair and the lines in her face, was anything but fussy.

Emerald green eyes that were bright and clever regarded Sasha with something akin to curiosity as the woman in the chair rose, and despite her average height, the woman seemed to draw to her a cloak of power and respect. Obviously, this was someone to not trifle with. “Are you Sasha?” The question was asked politely yet the stern set to Sonya’s jaw indicated that she expected an answer.

Sasha stepped forward and gave the woman a nod. “Yes, ma’am. I am Sasha. Elizabeth said you’d know… what to do...” About me… Her mind finished the phrase for her, but Sonya was already nodding, moving forward gracefully and reaching out to run a hand down Sasha’s cheek. The woman’s hand was warm and comforting, as was the scent of cinnamon that seemed to emanate from her very skin. Her eyes stared into Sasha’s for a long time, making the younger woman feel uncomfortable to stare into them for too long but she couldn't look away.

Elizabeth gave a little cough and Sonya pulled her gaze from Sasha to the Hispanic woman, her face breaking into a wide smile as she leaned over to embrace the shorter woman. “Lizzie, you are looking well in your golden years.” Sonya greeted, as Elizabeth reached up and patted Sonya’s cheek fondly.

“And age has been far kinder to a Priestess who does not travel than it has with Earth’s servant.” The Hispanic woman quipped with a smile.

Sasha watched the exchange and bit down on her lower lip to keep from smiling; they were teasing each other like old friends. Sonya then turned to wave an arm imperiously at Sasha and Elizabeth both, beckoning them to come further into her home. “Come, both of you. We have much to discuss, and I’m afraid the majority is not joyful.” She pulled out a chair from a small wooden table and indicated that Sasha and Elizabeth should sit with her at the other two chairs that were there. On the table a tray with fruit, cheese and a pitcher of water sat, as if waiting for them. “But first, we eat.” Sonya said decisively, pouring glasses of water for all of them and waving her hand at the plate, looking first at Sasha and then at Elizabeth. “Then we can talk.”

***

After Sasha left, Luke sat back down on the edge of Catarinn’s bed and held the older woman’s hand, feeling guilty each time he thought about how cool her skin felt, rather than warm and pulsing with life as it should be. What was it that you did that was so dangerous and did this to you? Did you know when we asked you to move us that this would happen? Questions chased themselves through his mind, one after the other while he sat there and eventually, he couldn't take it anymore.

“Adam, I’m going for a walk. I need the fresh air.” Luke called quietly to the healer that was just rounding one of the beds as he stood up and slid his hands in his pockets. Adam hesitated, looking like he was about to argue but then shrugged and waved a hand at the door.

“Just be careful. Elizabeth wouldn't be pleased if Catarinn’s sacrifice was in vain.” Adam cautioned quietly after Luke’s retreating back.

Resisting the urge to scoff at Adam, Luke stepped out of the room and headed back toward the mouth of the tunnels at a swift jog, years of high school sports and workouts making his long lean muscles adjust to the change in pace easily. He had almost hit his stride when one of the guards at the entrance stuck out an arm and stopped him.

“It is ill advised to leave here now, sir. We can’t be sure the things that caused the first temple to fall didn't follow you here.” He informed Luke, who looked more than a little annoyed.

“Look, I’m just going for a walk, I just need to get a little air… in case you haven’t realized it, I've been through a lot lately and it’s a lot to process.” Luke reasoned, shifting uncomfortably under the guard’s piercing gaze, who looked unconvinced and finally blew out his breath in a large whoosh of expelled air.

“Alright, but don’t be gone long. And don’t mention to Craig I let you walk out of here without an escort. I've been where you are… my family was murdered by those things and Sonya’s guard found me alone and confused.” The guard replied, stepping aside to let Luke pass by him. “So I can understand the need to get some fresh air.”

A ghost of an understanding smile flickered over the guard’s face as Luke gave him a nod of thanks and walked past him, taking the steps up two at a time and inhaling the slightly chilly night air as he emerged onto the side of the hill or mountain that the tunnels were carved into. Luke looked around but didn't see anyone else so he headed for a copse of trees not too far away from the tunnels and ducked under a low branch to disappear into them. They were tall pine trees and just being surrounded by them made the former bank manager feel calmer, so he plopped down to sit on the roots of the largest tree there, leaning his back against the rough bark and holding his face in his hands while he thought.

I have a general idea that I’m in South Dakota, my career is over I’m sure since I haven’t turned up for work and no one has called the bank from the hospital or the police station. I probably have enough money in my accounts to get me home, if I could get to a bus station or an airport or something, but I have no idea how far away one would be from wherever in the hell I am...

Just as Luke had almost summoned up the courage to turn around and head back to the tunnels, he heard a stick crack and looked up sharply. To his front and left, there was nothing… but to his right was a smoky-shapeless figure that glided closer to him each second that passed. “You…..” the creature growled, its voice making Luke’s teeth go on edge from the similarity of fingernails on a chalkboard. He scrambled to his feet quickly but almost as quickly went down as the creature lashed out one long smoky tendril and wrapped it around his ankles in a vice-like grip.

He swore and reached down to try and wrench the tendril away when he felt more tendrils lash out and bind his arms tightly to his sides. “You... are their hope… and now… belong to ussssss…” The creature hissed in his face, its breath reminding Luke of road-kill that had sat in the sun for three days. The last thing Luke could remember was struggling to get free of the creature’s grip when another tendril of smoke waved in front of his face, touching his bare skin and making him shout with pain as it ripped pieces of flesh from his body, the chill emanating from the creature’s touch doing nothing to numb the pain before it seemed to sink into his skin through the open wounds it had just made, following the blood back to its source.

***

The fruit, cheese and water had been consumed by the three woman sitting around the table, and after a little prodding from Elizabeth, Sonya turned her attention to Sasha and regarded the younger woman pensively. Finally, she sighed heavily and shook her head. “I can’t make sense of it, Elizabeth. Sasha was not supposed to be brought into this; she has no direct relative to the Order nor a spiritual commitment to our cause. Catarinn should not have been able to Mark her as a replacement. And her gift makes her much more than a Guardian or indeed, any mage that has ever come into my care.”

Sasha’s mouth dropped open a little in awe as she sent a panicked look in Elizabeth’s direction, but the old woman held up a hand to stop her. “Sonya, does this mean she can return?”

Sonya gazed at Sasha a few moments longer before she held out her hand to Sasha. “Show me the brand, child.” She said gently, and after a quick glance at Elizabeth, who gave her a reassuring nod, Sasha rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and scooted her chair closer to Sonya, so the priestess could see the brand better.

Gently, Sonya traced the brand with one long finger and at the older woman’s touch, Sasha gasped. She felt a gentle heat radiating around and through coils of the mark, unmistakably from the priestess’s touch. She looked up to meet Sonya’s eyes quickly but instead of hope, Sasha saw only sadness as Sonya shook her head at her. “No, she must be in a temple, and trained. The Mark is binding. I don’t know what Marianne and Catarinn were thinking when this was done, but it should not have been done.”

“P-please! Isn't there anything you can do? Can’t you remove it or something if it wasn't supposed to happen?” Sasha clutched at the priestess’s hand in desperation, pleading for something, anything to let her go home and forget this whole mess.

Sonya opened her mouth to reply when two guards ran into the room, panting and out of breath, giving the priestess a little bow before blurting out, “Lady Sonya! They've taken him! They took Luke from the grove!”

“Who?!” Sonya demanded as she rose from her chair, regal as any queen, her green eyes going hard in anger.

“The enemy, my lady! Demons broke the barrier of the hills and took him. They left a blood puddle but not enough to have caused him death.” The other guard said, standing up straighter now that he’d caught his breath, but when he met Sonya’s thunderous gaze, he thought better of it, lowering his eyes back to the ground.

“Show me!” Sonya commanded with the wave of one arm and with another, beckoned Elizabeth and Sasha to follow her.

By the time they reached the small group of trees just outside the tunnel entrance, many guards had gathered around the place and only a glare from Sonya had them stepping aside to make way. They were all pale and stricken with fear at such an invasion, and personally, Sasha couldn't blame them. She herself almost vomited when she saw the sizable puddle of blood on the ground in the center of the clearing and the black sticky ooze splattered over the grass nearby.

When the priestess saw it, Sonya pressed her hand to her chest as if to keep her heart from jumping out of her chest and she moved closer to the black ooze, holding one hand over the stuff without touching it. “They were indeed here… and they got through the barriers without alerting me… which must mean the balance has been upset… and that may have something to do with your situation, my dear.”

She looked up and met Sasha’s eyes who looked completely and utterly bewildered. “How do we set the balance back then? Do I leave? Do I stay? I’ll die if I leave… right?”


Your DP: Pretty much self explanatory. I hope you enjoyed.

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Last edited by Lilith on Wed Jan 30, 2013 11:02 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Lil


Fab new chapter! Well written, and I'm still liking Elizabeth's character, as she seems to have so much guts and doesn't take any shit from anyone, despite her petite appearance, lol! I also like the interaction between her and Sonya, and the clear friendship that you've painted there.

And the plot very much thickens! Luke abducted by the enemy...what the hell are those demon brutes going to do to him, I wonder, given that they're clearly not bothered about causing him pain/harm? Sasha, it seems, is also going to be playing a very key role in how things turn out for everyone involved, and one wonders how prepared she'll be if she accepts the responsibility.


I found a couple of bits'n'bobs as I was reading...

Quote:
She’s bound to know more about your power and what we do with you in this war than I will.


I think the second half of this sentence would have a better flow if rephrased slightly. I can't quite make out what it is that sounds slightly off, so it may just be me and actually nothing at all. I think the 'will' at the end should maybe be 'do', but that would make the two 'do's in the same sentence jarring. But maybe something like...

She’s bound to know more about your power and how we're to use you in this war than I do.

...But I'm not wholly sure, so I'd need confirmation on that.


Quote:
Elizabeth gave a little cough and Sonya pulled her gaze from Sasha to the Hispanic woman, her face breaking into a wide smile as she leaned over to embrace the shorter woman. “Lizzie, you are looking well in your golden years.” Sonya greeted, as Elizabeth reached up and patted Sonya’s cheek fondly. “And age has been far kinder to a Priestess who does not travel than it has with Earth’s servant.”


Upon reading it through a second time, I'm thinking that both women are speaking in this paragraph, but I wasn't entirely sure due to the lack of separation.

Quote:
Adam hesitated, looking like he was about to argue but them shrugged and waved a hand at the door.


Then

Quote:
“Look, I’m just going for a walk, I just need to get a little air… in case you haven’t realized it, I've been through a lot lately and it’s a lot process.”


I think a 'to' is needed before 'process'.


For the DP...she has to stay. If she has a destiny here, she's not going to be of any help if she leaves, and it's likely not going to be in her best interests either. And besides, how can she possibly think of leaving when Luke's in the hands of the enemy? She'll want to know if he's alright surely? So yeah, Sasha stays.

Great chappie, keep up the good work! Smile

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank-you for the polishing help Tika! Corrections made and I really do appreciate it. The story starting running through my fingers so fast, I just wanted to get it out and onto the document. Razz

And you're being very firm that Sasha must stay... I wonder if anyone is going to have the cajones to disagree with you.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha luckily I agree with Tika. Razz No way Sasha is going to abandon her adventure now that Luke is captured. She may not have known Luke for long, but he's also her "comrade", the only one who knows exactly what she's going through. She'll do everything she can to rescue Luke, whether it means she has to stay or leave.
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another great chapter, Lil! (And I almost missed it - for shame!)

I found one bit that Tika missed...

Lilith wrote:
The only light they could see by came from the torches were set into brackets along the twisting, winding halls and showed that these tunnels were older than Eden’s, the multiple stones polished to high shine and the tunnels reinforced with bracing at intervals and turns.


"That" between the first set of words, "a" between the second.

I'm going to agree with all on this - Sasha should stay! In order to find out more about this power of hers, and to save Luke as well, she will need to stay put.

Can't wait for more! Razz
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:57 am    Post subject: I Think. . . . . . Reply with quote

Sorry, sorry, soooo sorry. Took forever, I know, but I back! Much love for this one! I really felt every part of this chapter inside. Keep up the good work!


*Puffs up cajones* For the DP I thinks she should be like any other hotheaded, emotional, new-to-the-position heroin and escape in the night to try and find him on her own. Oh, and bring the cat Razz I mean, she has no real love for these people, and in fact, other than Luke she has no real connection to these guys! Well, even with him the connection is still vague, but that just solidifies my point! She should rush head long after him! Hua!!!


Anyways, more more more!!!!
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Joined: 05 Oct 2010
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Location: The Library of Interfable History

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2015 11:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aaaand it's back from the vault! Smile
_________________
I now have three SGames! "Mist in a Cave" Chapter 5 is in the works

"The Freedom of Magic" Just got its THIRD chapter up!

Hope you all find the time to read them Very Happy *goes off to look for an SG to read*

Note to self: The Elven Moon; Coin; SVI; Black Animals; Two Wolves; Angel Cat
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