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Is This Me? 008 - Impressions

 
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:34 pm    Post subject: Is This Me? 008 - Impressions Reply with quote

Impressions



The mer-girl stares down at the unconscious form of the boy who had saved her. Her hearts are still beating rapidly from the earlier encounter and battle with the humans, but something about the child's sleeping face slowly begins bringing her heart rates back to normal levels. 'I heard what he did. I could feels it somehow. Why? What of him made him defend me so? I still feel it from him, the need I felt before, but now. . . .' Her thoughts trail off as the man sitting opposite her lets out a small groan. Looking up across the boy she watches as he clutches his head between clawed hands. 'He is uneasy around me, but for him too I feel it. Why is this so? I can not understand' Shaking off her confusion she says once again, “I wish to help. Please, I must help.” Her bright green eyes seem to shine in the sunlight as she gazes at him with building urgency.

_______________

Stroking his finger through his hair a few times, Tarith looks up, meeting the girl's eyes. A low pleasant spark tingles at the back of his mind, but his caution still remains at the forefront of his thoughts. 'She has offered to help, and at present, I can not see another coarse of action.' Glancing over at the carnage Tarith shudders. 'At the least, it will allow us to get away from this sickening mess' Turning his eyes back upon the mer-girl he says in a low voice, “Let's move to the other end of the ship. Then I want to talk to you. I. . .I can not make a decision for Darkon, and it seems that you are asking him and not me.” Without waiting for an answer, Tarith scoops the boy up gently into his arms, trying hard to ignore the scent of blood coming off the little one. Making his way along the railing he places Darkon on the deck, his back presses into the corner of the railing at the prow of the ship. Reaching forward with one hand he brushes a blood soaked lock of hair from the boy's face. A sound from behind causes Tarith to turn, rising half to his feet.

The mer-girl makes her way slowly along the length of the ferry, he hands griping the railing tight. He movements look stiff, and Tarith can see her feet wobbling with each step. With a quick glance down at Darkon, Tarith rises and makes his way to the girl. Without a word he takes hold of one of her hands and pulls her arm around his shoulders. His other hand goes to her waist t steady her. The mer-girl's eyes look up at him, unreadable jewels set in a delicate face. She murmurs a thank you and walks beside him, clutching his shoulder and the railing until he finally lowers her to sit beside Darkon. Tarith feels the temptation of sitting between the two, reasoning that he still doesn't know her true intentions, but as he looks down at her gazing at the boy he feels a settling warmth in his chest. 'I do not think she wants to hurt him. And even if she tried, she can barely walk. On the ferry, I have the advantage' Stepping to Darkon's right side, Tarith slides down the rail to sit beside him.

Taking a deep breath, Tarith thinks hard over just what to do next. Deciding to learn more about the mer-girl before all else, he turns slightly so he can look at her face as he speaks. “You are a mer-person. I can see that, but what I know of your race, I see your actions today as against anything I have ever heard. Not only did you approach a ship filled with people, you have changed your very form to come and see one of them. Tell me, why are you doing this? What makes you do these things?” The mer-girl cocks her head to the side thoughtfully, her hair glistening slightly in the sun. Her words come out in a soft voice, wispy, like a gentle summer breeze.

“I was passing my time, under the water cascade as I spend may days. My father becomes angry at this, but for some time now, I have felt the need to come each day. Today, the feeling was. . . Stronger.” Looking down at Darkon she continues, her voice sounding distracted. “I felt the draw, a pull, to come see the wooden carrier pass. I saw it there, for an instant. A light of gray and yellow. My heart called to it, and I felt I must know what it was. I came closer, and then the light vanished. Instead I see him, where the gray once was. I. . . .I longed to be closer.” She shakes her head, furrowing her brow in a confused expression. “ I saw no others, just him. I can not say why I did such things, why I feel such things, but I do know I must stay. I must help.” Her voice trails off, her eyes coming up to meet Tarith's. He shivers slightly under her gaze, her eyes seeming to look more through him, then at him. A slight smile comes to her lips, and he feels his unease waning. Suddenly she says, “It is the same for you, is it not? Most would feel fear and disgust for the things I know him to have done, but I see in your eyes neither.” Tarith blinks.

Running his hands over his arms, Tarith can not hold back the shiver that causes bumps to rise all over his flesh. Without thinking, he nods. His voice, low and harsh compared to hers whispers out, “Though I did fear him as he did it, I can no longer feel it. A part of me keeps insisting that it wasn't the Darkon I know doing those things. Somehow, I just know it. . . .” A moan from the boy causes both to look down, the man with a look of concern on his face. The boy's face is twisted into a look of pain, his breath coming fast, his muscles twitching. Recognizing this as one of the many nightmares Darkon seems to have, Tarith slides in closer and pulls the boy into his lap. Rocking back and forth,he does his best to comfort the shaking form in his arms. The mer-girl watches, her own expression unreadable.

_____________

Watching the man with the boy, the mer-girl realizes she will need his trust before the boy will trust her. 'I know I wish to be beside this boy. He makes me feel as if this is where I belong. This man seems to care for him greatly. I must put him at ease' With a mental nod, she reaches out, touching the man's arm to get his attention. When his vividly colored eyes fall upon her, she does her best to smile. Not use to the human expression, she is unsure of how it comes across. Among her people, showing your teeth to another is a form of challenge. Her father had saw fit to teach her of the human world. Not only their habits, but speech and manner as well. ~Some day.~ He had told her, ~You may be in great need of knowing more then most. And at that time, I believe this will be of aid to you.~ She had dismissed his words at the time, but now she gives thanks to him with her heart that he had been so dedicated in teaching such an unwilling student.

Speaking gently, her words slow and carefully thought out, she begins telling him anything she thinks will help win his trust. “My name is Fellion meari Bon Ista, daughter of Hargath suri Bon Ista and Omalias jaili Bon Ista. My home is on the other side of the large rocks there, the ones from which the cascade topples from. My father is a weaver, and my mother is a part of the council. We are a small family, my being the only child, and my parent's being the head of our line.” Reaching up she brushes back some of her hair. A wave of unease ripples through her at the feel of how dry it is already. Holding her hair back, she shows the man her family crest, etched with red coral ink on the side of her neck. A half moon wrapped around the end of a tail fin, it's points nearly touching the middle where one side of the fin attaches to the other side.

Dropping her hair back down, she scratches her drying skin. Looking about, she spots a bucket and rope a few feet away. Scooting over she grabs the rig and then moves back towards the railing. She glances over to see the man watching her, a confused look on his face. Tossing the bucket overboard she waits until its stops falling to pull the rope tight. The feeling of it dragging in the water prompts her to quickly pull it up. Rising to her feet, she carefully lifts it over the edge of the rail. Without a second thought, she dumps the contents over her head. The man lets out a small sound, causing her to glance over. She realizes too late that the water went further then she thought it would.

_____________

His left pant leg now damp, Tarith glances up at the mer-girl, Fellion. 'Well, she needs to stay wet I suppose' As if sensing his thoughts, the girl says, “Out of the water, I will dry. Dry does not harm me, but the feel is unfamiliar. Forgive me for wetting you.” Tarith Startles slightly, but shakes his head.

“It's alright. I understand.” Staring at the bucket, then looking down at the now still form in his arms he whispers, “Could you bring up another bucket. I would like to clean some of this off of him.” Out of the corner of his eye he sees Fellion nod and toss the bucket once more over the edge. Stroking the boy's hair he realizes that the blood is drying and prays that it will come out without much difficulty. The ever nearing danger of the shore weighs heavily in his mind, like a loose rock looming overhead, ready to fall and crush him. With a clunk, the girls sets the bucket down near his left knee, and he mutters a quick 'Thank you”. Reaching in a pocket of his pants, Tarith pulls out a clean cloth. Dipping it in the bucket, he begins washing Darkon's face clean of the red stain covering it.

Fellion continues speaking, her voice a bit louder now. “My people are a peaceful people. Our tribe not one of war. Our young ones are trained in fighting only for the forms to not be forgotten. Should some need in the future arrive to defend our people. Our sister tribe, they are of war, and swear to defend us, and we them.” Tarith nods, understanding how their peace works. Finished cleaning his face, Tarith begins working on Darkon's arms. It is a slow process, and the water in the bucket, once clear and glistening, is now a dull red color. 'Her people are peaceful. That's good. Perhaps, we can rest there for a time. I'm not sure if Darkon needs to recover from what has happened, but it sounds safer there among her people then on shore with human I know will be upset over what has been done here. I would also like some time to talk to Darkon over just what happened' Turning to look at the shore, he judges they still have some time to come to a decision.

The mer-girl leans in close over the boy, startling Tarith out of his thoughts. A low growl escapes from his chest before he can catch it, pulling Darkon away from her on instinct. Her jade eyes looking up at him causes him to flinch, realizing that he was acting a bit foolish. His eyes are drawn downwards at a sound, and he realizes just why she had leaned in. Darkon eyes are fluttering open and closed, and he seems to be muttering something. After a few seconds, his eyes snap open and he looks about. His hand finds it's way to Tarith's upper arm where it clamps down, holding on tight. The girl moves closer and begins speaking. “Good waking Darkon, saver of my life. Pray light finds you well.” Her words confuse Tarith, but Darkon seems to understand them, nodding absentmindedly at her.

______________

Darkon looks about, his memories of just where he is, and why, returning slowly. The blue one's words seem strange, but he can hear in her voice the same kindness he has come to recognize in Tarith's. He watches her light flicker and dance, behind and around her. The memory of his dream comes to the forefront of his mind, his thoughts lingering on the red one's words. Looking up at Tarith he cocks his head to the side. “Tarith, was what I did wrong?” He watches as Tarith flinches at his question.

The man takes a deep breath before answering. “I, I don't know how to explain this. You saved Fellion, you saved a life, and that is good. But. . . .But killing is not something you should do unless absolutely necessary.” Tarith's voice lowers, barely above a whisper, “You frightened me when you killed like that.” Darkon blinks his slow blink, looking towards the girl.

Tilting his head he asks, “You are Fellion?” She nods, a smile coming to her lips. Tarith pulls Darkon close and begins telling him everything Fellion had told him, using terms the boy would understand. He raises questions from time to time, inquiring over some of the concepts mentioned, such as “Peace”. When Tarith is done explaining, Darkon looks towards the shore, his mind trying to process all the information given him, checking it against what he already knows. 'Tarith and I were heading to get information. Information from that city beyond the lake he said. This Fellion wishes to help. I wish for her to stay with us. She wishes us to go to her people first, but will this get us information we need? Tarith says the people on shore will be angry, and want to hurt us, but the information we seek is beyond them.' His mind whirls, bringing about a small headache. Less powerful them most he gets, he manages to resist letting out a sound at the pain. 'So much, but not too much. Tarith wishes for me to decide. I must decide. . . .'



++++++++++++

What now? Sorry this took forever. Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the swing of this!
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Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:42 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was a nice read. I could point out some edit spots but for the most part it was pretty clean. And it was REALLY NICE to see you get back to this tale!

You played off the feedback about Darkon's behavior very well I thought and portrayed the mermaid quite interestingly. The one thing I'd like to note, though, is that there are still others on the ship right? Even if they aren't conscious, or if they are just corpses in some cases, some mention of them to remind the reader of our surroundings would be good somewhere.

But the plot drives onward and that, I think was the biggest hurdle to overcome from this point.

DPwise, are we being approached with basically the same DP as last time? hmm... I'm going to have to suggest that we tell her we'll be back but that we need some information about that army first... and we'll bring her information on it too when we return. We know from another recent story on IF that merpeople aren't always safe from land armies just because they live underwater! Wink
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:45 am    Post subject: *Thinks* Reply with quote

*Thinks* Army? *Frowns* What army?
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The one we were headed off to find out more about... the one that lizard creature had fled from?
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:26 am    Post subject: Oh Reply with quote

Ahhh, that's not an army exactly. More of a private collection of defenders.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok... been a while... I may need to review the plot some again.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:07 pm    Post subject: Yo Reply with quote

*Bounce* *Bounce* Still waiting for ideas Razz
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Pope!

Sorry it's taken me an age to get to this latest chappie from you. This was an interesting chapter, and I enjoyed learning about the mermaid, Fellion. I think I'm going to like her, and she's a good element to add to the group. She's not quite so close with Darkon as Tarith is, so she might be able to look at any of his behaviour a little more objectively, even though she feels a connection to the boy too. I'm intrigued to see how she will affect the group with her presence, and especially how she will affect Darkon. I look forward to finding out. Wink


I found a couple of things here...


Quote:
'She has offered to help, and at present, I can not see another coarse of action.'


This should be 'course' when used for this meaning.

Quote:
Tarith Startles slightly, but shakes his head.


This doesn't sound right. If the other words are to remain the same, 'startles' could be replaced with 'starts'. Or, it could be changed to...

Tarith is slighty startled, but shakes his head.


Also, the text feels too bunched together. The speech and thought ideally need to be seperated from the rest, otherwise it can look a little blocky, like a wall of text, and it's very easy to get muddled when it is so. So, for example:


Quote:
Stroking his finger through his hair a few times, Tarith looks up, meeting the girl's eyes. A low pleasant spark tingles at the back of his mind, but his caution still remains at the forefront of his thoughts. 'She has offered to help, and at present, I can not see another coarse of action.' Glancing over at the carnage Tarith shudders. 'At the least, it will allow us to get away from this sickening mess' Turning his eyes back upon the mer-girl he says in a low voice, “Let's move to the other end of the ship. Then I want to talk to you. I. . .I can not make a decision for Darkon, and it seems that you are asking him and not me.” Without waiting for an answer, Tarith scoops the boy up gently into his arms, trying hard to ignore the scent of blood coming off the little one. Making his way along the railing he places Darkon on the deck, his back presses into the corner of the railing at the prow of the ship. Reaching forward with one hand he brushes a blood soaked lock of hair from the boy's face. A sound from behind causes Tarith to turn, rising half to his feet.


Stroking his finger through his hair a few times, Tarith looks up, meeting the girl's eyes. A low pleasant spark tingles at the back of his mind, but his caution still remains at the forefront of his thoughts.

'She has offered to help, and at present, I can not see another coarse of action.'

Glancing over at the carnage Tarith shudders.

'At the least, it will allow us to get away from this sickening mess'

Turning his eyes back upon the mer-girl he says in a low voice, “Let's move to the other end of the ship. Then I want to talk to you. I. . .I can not make a decision for Darkon, and it seems that you are asking him and not me.”

Without waiting for an answer, Tarith scoops the boy up gently into his arms, trying hard to ignore the scent of blood coming off the little one. Making his way along the railing he places Darkon on the deck, his back presses into the corner of the railing at the prow of the ship. Reaching forward with one hand he brushes a blood soaked lock of hair from the boy's face. A sound from behind causes Tarith to turn, rising half to his feet.


It breaks up the text a little bit, and makes it easier and more appealing to read.


For the dp...I'm saying go with Fellion to her people. She seems to have a strange rapor with the boy, and her people may be able to give more information. After all, she seems pretty young. Maybe there are elders that can be consulted, who might have some little snippits of information. Who knows? But I think that's where they should be headed. Plus, as Fellion wishes to go with them, it's only fair that she should be allowed to inform her people that she's doing so.


Keep up the good work! Smile

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:17 pm    Post subject: Post Reply with quote

Any more suggestions? Anyone?
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 2:26 am    Post subject: *Poke* Reply with quote

*Poke* *Poke* If no more suggestions, then it'll be on to the poll soon!
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:27 pm    Post subject: Polling Reply with quote

We are now polling, after a long pause. Feel free to vote!
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:35 pm    Post subject: *Sigh* Reply with quote

No votes yet. . . . .I is sad. . . . .Razz
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Soz, Pope. *looks ashamed* The fact that it was polling kinda passed me bye. Sorry, but voted now! Smile
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:10 pm    Post subject: Polling Reply with quote

Last day of polling, please get your votes in now!
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:47 am    Post subject: Poll Results Reply with quote

Where to now?
Continue on without Fellion
0% [ 0 ]
Go with Fellion to her people
100% [ 1 ]

Total Votes : 1
Who Voted: Tikanni Corazon


Thanks for the vote Tikanni-chan. I'll get right on this Razz
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