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Finite Horizon - Prologue

 
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sagittaeri
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 3:26 pm    Post subject: Finite Horizon - Prologue Reply with quote

THIS PROLOGUE IS CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN.

WARNING: CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE.

The entire story (to date) in beautiful, readable HTML, courtesy of the wonderful Dropbox. Great for catching up, too. Link: Finite Horizon

Prologue

It was only fifteen years ago when humankind took its very first stride on Martian soil. 'The technological pinnacle of our species,' they had called the historic event. If only they knew.

"Temperature at two-hundred-and-three degrees and stabilising. Hulls are healthy. All critical systems green."

Not a single soul had any clue that they were on the verge of something much bigger. Not the captain. Nor her crew. Nor the scientists. No one. So big, that it transformed the very landscape of science.

"Deceleration at two g. Visuals are good. Eight seconds to touchdown. Everybody, this is gonna be a smooth one."

"Good. Crew, brace for impact. Four. Three. Two. One."

A soft impact reverberated throughout the landing ship. The hulls stopped shaking. The engines were turned down gradually. Then, there was a moment of silence.

"Post-landing checks, all green. All systems nominal," the captain smiled from ear-to-ear. "Give yourself a pat in the back, crew. We're on fuckin' Mars!"

The landing crew let out a big whoop and cheered. Five seconds later, the space crew did the same. Ten minutes later, when the rest of humankind received the news, the entire planet joined in the celebration. Every soul that day knew they had just made history. They just had no idea how big.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Captain, you have to see this."

It was their second month on Mars. "What am I looking at, Simmons?" asked Captain Oliver as she stared into an image of a dry Martian landscape. They had been sending samples to their space lab to study, but there hasn't been any signs of life, to their disappointment. It had become very likely that there was never any life on the red planet.

"Exactly, there's nothing there, right? Now look at this," the surveillance officer pulled up another image, this time showing the electromagnetic survey of an area.

The captain creased her brow as she focused on a structure in the centre. It looked almost artificial. Could it be? "Where is this?"

Doctor Simmons grinned. "It's the same area."

Oliver turned her attention back to the first image. There was no structure. Nothing to suggest a natural formation, or an artificial construction. Except... "The hill?" she raised a finger towards a smooth, round mound in the image.

"Yes," he said excitedly. "I think this is our break."

"That's an understatement," she breathed. There was a lot of structure in that formation. Too much symmetry for it to be natural. The fact that it was hidden away inside an ordinary looking hill seemed to suggest something much more than fossilised single cell life. It suggested intelligent alien life.

"I want to go out there. It should only take an hour."

The captain nodded without hesitation. She didn't have to think about it. "Let's go."

It only took them five minutes to mobilise the rover. Half the crew wanted to come along, but the landing base had to be manned and the rover had limited seats. So, the captain only took Simmons and Takahashi, her surveillance officer and planetary palaeontologist. The entire journey was filled with silent tension. Everybody was holding their breath in anticipation.

When they finally arrived, Simmons immediately set up his portable surveillance station at the foot of the hill and directed his flying probes to scour every inch of the area. Takahashi climbed up the hill and dug out a sample of the red sand and dropped it into his radiometric device. Captain Oliver scouted along the side of the hill, studying its features, noting that it was a painfully ordinary looking Martian hill.

"Nothing special about the soil. Consistent with the others," announced the palaeontologist disappointedly through the radio. "I need to dig deeper."

"Is the drill team ready?" inquired Oliver.

"No," the first mate's voice came through the radio. "They need two more hours."

That was on top of another hour it takes to get to the hill. It would be a long time before the drill arrives, but that did not weaken the captain's excitement. "Takahashi, get a few more surface samples before the diggers get here. Simmons, what's your status?"

"I'm not sure, captain," the apprehension thick in the surveillance officer's voice. "There's something going on here."

"What do you mean? Is it the hill?"

"No, no, it's just the---give me a few minutes to figure this one out."

At that moment, Captain Oliver received a private call from her first mate. She had never been superstitious, but it didn't stop the bad feeling from invading her thoughts and emotions as she answered it.

It didn't take very long for Simmons to understand what was going on as he examined the readings from his probes. He double checked, and triple checked his readings. There was no mistake. "Uh, captain," he started nervously. "The air pressure and wind velocity are fluctuating more than usual. I think we're looking at a---"

"A dust storm," she interrupted curtly. There was a hard edge to her voice. "Space command just briefed me."

"I don't understand. They were supposed to warn us earlier."

"Well, the sexist pig didn't," her anger was apparent, but it was also obvious that she held back the brunt of it. "They had an unscheduled maintenance for both their satellites since yesterday, and didn't bother telling us about it."

"What should we do?" Simmons tightened his jaws. He never liked the commanding officer of the space crew. But he never expected him to be completely incompetent as well.

"We pack up and leave, now."

The surveillance officer blinked in confusion. "But---"

"Takahashi, how soon can you make it back to the rover?"

"Ten minutes, give or take."

"Same as me, then. Let's get going---"

"*Wait, listen!*" cried Simmons suddenly. "We don't *have* ten minutes!"

Oliver was going to ask what he had meant, and then she noticed it over the horizon. The dust storm was approaching them at a frightening speed. "Holy fuck---" they were supposed to have a few more hours. "How did it---*fuck! Everyone get to your nearest cover, now!*" Dust storms in Mars were vicious and extremely life threatening to anyone outdoors, and this one will hit them at any moment now.

"Captain," Simmons quickly uploaded an annotated terrain map into his team's helmets. "My probes found a cave on the other side of the hill. It's near both of you. Hurry!"

"Thank fuck," exclaimed Takahashi. "I'm kissing you when I get back!"

"Simmons, are you still at your station?" the captain demanded in between her panting as she sprinted towards the cave on the map. Between the three of them, she was the one farthest away from a cover. "Forget the station and get to the fucking rover!"

The dust storm hit them, then. Simmons was knocked off his feet as his portable surveillance station fell apart from the veracity of the wind. The five-seater rover was visible to him only a few moments ago, but now all he could see was an opaque wall of dust around him. He had to depend on the rover's signal on his map, now. "Yes, ma'am."

Takahashi made it inside the cave just after the storm hit, but he saw no sign of his captain. Growing worried, he pulled open the control panel wrapped around his wrist and tried to find her signal on the map. For a short moment, he panicked when it said that her signal was out of range. Then he remembered that Martian dust storms can cause electromagnetic interference, effectively interrupting communications. He cursed as he leaned out as far as he dared into the storm, hoping to see his captain.

Captain Oliver was still half a mile away from the cave. It might not have sounded very far, but in that storm, it was a lifetime away. "Keep your head low, your limbs in, and don't stop moving," she repeated under her breath as she ran as quickly as her legs had allowed. Her team's signal had vanished from her map the moment the storm hit, which meant the dust was electrically charged. Twice already a particularly strong gust swept her up from the ground and smashed her against the steep slope of the hill. Each time, she stood back up, and continued onwards to the cave like nothing had happened. Her own signal had vanished from the map, so she had to rely on her instincts to find the cave.

The screen suddenly became pitch black. Words were etched on the bottom: *To be continued in the second part...*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Credits rolled up the screen as a couple of students around me groaned unhappily at the cliffhanger. Glad that the film was over, I stood up and stretched my limbs.

"Dammit, I want to watch the second part of that," a classmate threw an arm around my shoulder. "Pete, how awesome was the captain?"

I laughed at him as I pushed him away. "Yeah, she kicked ass."

"And Simmons, he practically saved his entire team. Do you think he'll make it?"

"Sam, you realise this is a documentary, right?"

"Embellished by Hollywood for education purposes, I know," he chuckled as he picked up his bag. "I'm not *that* empty-headed!"

I smiled. "Not sure if it was Hollywood. But I admit, it was pretty damn awesome."

"Everyone will definitely be back tomorrow for part two. See you same time and place?"

"Yeah, see you, man," I waved happily at him as he left the classroom.

My smile faded. I didn't have to wait until tomorrow's history lesson. Unlike everyone else, I already knew what happens in the second part of the documentary, and the following fifteen years after that.

I wasn't interested in what was shown.

I was interested in what wasn't shown.


Last edited by sagittaeri on Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tikanni Corazon
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Sagi!

A much enjoyed beginning here! Interesting turn of events at the end there, as it was totally unexpected that it would be a movie/documetary. Was sat here thinking 'wow, we're jumping straight into the action here, and then it veers off in another direction entirely. And those two small lines at the end. Very intriguing indeed! Wink


I found a couple of small things here...


Quote:
That was on top of another hour it takes to get to the hill. It would be a long time before the drill arrives, but that did not weaken the captain's excitement.


Needs to be 'arrived', I'm thinking.

Quote:
Dust storms in Mars were vicious and extremely life threatening to anyone outdoors, and this one will hit them at any moment now. 


Should be 'would'.


Looking forward to chapter 1, Sagi, and our first dp! Keep up the good work! Smile

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Andolyn
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is AWESOME, Sagi!!! COMPLETELY caught me off guard with the documentary thing...and i'm REALLY intrigued by the last two lines...looking forward to finding out what that means... can't wait for chapter 1!!
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oooo pretty prologue *sparkly eyes*

I liked it Very Happy

I actually forgot that it seemed to be a documentary some ways into it XD

so of course i want to continue!
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hehe thanks, kk. I'm actually in the process of re-writing the prologue because I didn't like the way I handled the multiple PoV. I'm gonna make the PoV more rigid, so I'm able to describe the emotions and thoughts of each character clearly. Wink

Also, I'm running another SG which I wanna finish before I go full time into this one.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Completely understandable. until then....i'll be watching >>
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I now have three SGames! "Mist in a Cave" Chapter 5 is in the works

"The Freedom of Magic" Just got its THIRD chapter up!

Hope you all find the time to read them Very Happy *goes off to look for an SG to read*

Note to self: The Elven Moon; Coin; SVI; Black Animals; Two Wolves; Angel Cat
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