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Chapter 8 Comments

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City of IF -> Pillbox

#1: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:47 pm
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Quote:

Even his hands had grown such that he could fully engulf a basketball with them.

Damn, those are big hands.

Quote:

But the crowning joy was beneath. As he gazed out upon his newly recovered legs, legs as thick as tiger torsos, enormous and perfect, his heart swelled with emotion.

I hope I'm not the only one whose mind leapt to a bad place then, seeing how everything else had grown bigger...

But what to ask the general - maybe find out if anyone else had seen things like he did before or something?

#2: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:51 pm
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Perhaps a bit exaggerated, but I wanted to make a point... He's frickin huge.

BTW... the bad place was mentioned just before said quote. Wink

#3: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:54 pm
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Ah, so it is.

Oh well then, consider this a bad place too.

#4: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:58 pm
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Read into it what you'd like I suppose... truth is his membership has recently enlarged along with the rest of him...

#5: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 7:49 pm
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Nice chapter Rav, some good imagery in there too.

So, all is now large. Wink

Two possible questions, the first one about the experience he had whilst on the operating theatre and the thing that attacked him come straight to mind. He should at least tell this to the general and ask what is going on there.

Second question came to me but I have forgotten it during the typing of the above. Ah, senility sets in...

#6: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 11:22 pm
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Good chapter. Now we have a sister involved as well. Sneaky dragon! Shocked

I like Chinaren's question. The only other I think would be of relevance right now, is what his first mission/overall mission-set be?

Now that he's fallen in line and done what the army wanted him to do, he's going to be anxious to know whether he'll be some sort of research freak or whether he'll be out there, getting some real action. After all, Kort ended up as a General's bodyguard. Not exactly a pinnacle of achievement for being genetically modified. Mack will want more. Much more Very Happy

#7: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:45 am
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I don't know, that doesn't seem to be the sort of thing he'd ask on the operating table, waiting to get dressed.

Seems more likely he'd try and find that out later.

#8: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 1:49 pm
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I read two more chapters. I'm currently at the story explaining about the Sumerians.

Well, it plays with an old idea, but it just doesn't make much sense. 3000 AD technology in hands of the Sumerians? They just don't seem capable, stolen or not.

Well, keep it up, anyway.

#9: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 10:27 pm
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The General certainly made the chapter interesting, I must say. LOL.

F5 Shady. With what Mack has experienced now, how will that affect his surgery? I can't think of much else right now. Tired and sleepy.

#10: Author: Solomon Birch, Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 2:45 am
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Right, good chapter; I like the parallel sister story, and I want to see how the dragon can get at her.

Quote:

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

Whap! Whap! Whap!

the General mounted Mack's chest like a jockey on a horse

deep-throated roar

"Damm yer a big boy Mack!

Now, I know that I'm a dirty boy ( Wink

), but DAMN Rav! Shocked

Now, I think that he should just ask if the General thinks that now he has increased size, would he need to eat lots more, and then maybe does he need to excersise more, and if so, do they have any equipment which will help him keep his weight down. Its a serious dilemma for all those super-girth heroes... Very Happy

*holds breath* Shocked

#11: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:19 am
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Exercise may do Mack some good. But I don't think it's Mack that is big-girthed fellow, well, when compared to the General. Cool

#12: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 7:02 am
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Wonderful developments. Cool

I suppose many questions are tumbling through his mind, and the ones already mentioned are among them. Foremost, standing there almost nude with his tummy grumbling, I think he'd be inclined to take care of the creature comforts first. He's then going to want to know what happened during the course of his procedure. Last he remembers, he was readied for bed and was attacked. Did that actually happen, or was it all part of a dream related to his procedure? Why didn't they wake him before the procedure if the imp attack had all been a dream? Is there any significance to the dragon?

#13: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 10:25 am
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Nice chapter. Mack has become an ox has he?

Ask Sternheim about the dragon.

#14: Author: Araex,

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 12:11 pm
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I didn't actually feel that we had anything to ask the General - more of Sydney. The General doesn't seem to know all that much to me, he just shouts at people to do their job and tries to interfere. As such, perhaps we should ask him about unimportant things, just so that we're not left with our mouth open.

As soon as possible though, we should corner Sydney (who I imagine will be quite jealous by this point) and ask him what the dragon and dream and demon are all about.

#15: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 7:02 pm
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Thanks for the support y'all! Poll'l be up soon.

D, As the story goes, the Sumerians stole the technology from the 'Gods' who created humanity... though it might be more likely that it was 'sneaked' over to them from sources within the 'gods' ranks. They didn't know how to do all the things the LRP is doing with the Monotatomic Gold BUT they left strong hints about how to... modern science filled in the details.

#16: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 6:35 am
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I am sure they were big hints. LOL. Wink

#17: Author: Viridian,

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 10:07 pm
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Quote:

Sweltering heat had pounded the muggy dwelling all day and the night's cooling had done little to alleviate.

To alleviate what?

Vellum. They actually write on vellum?

Quote:

WHAP!, came the sound of voltage being passed through Mack's chest. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

Sorry! Physics major. It's current, not voltage.

Quote:

[...] a career that had often brought her wealth of money, but poverty of soul.

By the way, I loved this line. Smile

I agree with the creature comforts idea, and he might take a little more time compiling a list of what he would ask while he ate. That way, he won't be so easily sidetracked if the general, for some reason, evaded any of his questions, right?

#18: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 1:39 pm
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Viridian wrote:

Quote:

Sweltering heat had pounded the muggy dwelling all day and the night's cooling had done little to alleviate.

To alleviate what?

To alleviate the sweltering heat... I left it inferable I thought.

Viridian wrote:

Vellum. They actually write on vellum?

This was to denote the high quality of paper they use for such official letters. Probably not actually vellum but here I'm guilty of exaggeration yet again.

Viridian wrote:

Quote:

WHAP!, came the sound of voltage being passed through Mack's chest. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

Sorry! Physics major. It's current, not voltage.

Sure... but voltage sounds cooler!
Thanks for the feedback and welcome aboard! Its wonderful to have another reader, and one who pulls no punches at that! I appreciate that. As for the DP, I assume most of you have one burning question you would want an answer to immediately. I don't figure he'll ask everything RIGHT NOW, but yes, mostly wait for conversation over breakfast(or is it dinner, or lunch?)

#19: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 1:43 pm
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Ravenwing wrote:

I am sure they were big hints. LOL. Wink

Sorry to double post but I wanted to address this comment separately. The hints were actually fairly cryptic. They would have been nearly indecipherable except that we had another, as yet unmentioned, source of information, which brought a lot of light to the subject.

#20: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 6:05 pm
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OK, two days to vote! I added the last one there at the end, but I assure you its a neutral suggestion.

#21: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 9:27 pm
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Wow - all those options and I still picked the same as Chinaren and Viridian. Very Happy

Happy Writing Rav Smile

#22: Author: Viridian,

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 2:26 am
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You're welcome. Smile

At least no one here's tried to kill me, yet. (Bad experiences.) Looking forward to that new chapter!

#23: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 5:54 am
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Ravagerrr wrote:

Ravenwing wrote:

I am sure they were big hints. LOL. Wink

How typical of me. I totally miss out the point that most of the information is hidden well into the story.

#24: Author: Solomon Birch, Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 11:32 am
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Voted! :biggrin:

*holds breath* Shocked

#25: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 6:22 pm
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Ok y'all... only one more day to vote then a new chapter will emerge!

#26: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 7:11 pm
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I'm in chapter seven now...catching up! Very Happy

I like it...I like it.

It seems like its going to be a long adventure, though.

#27: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 7:20 pm
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Smile

yeah... no end in sight for this one... but then, there's thousands of comics regarding spiderman right? I don't expect all new players to read every chapter, just the synopsis and the most recent should do to start.

Glad your enjoying it D!

#28: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 9:21 pm
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But it's good to read all the chapters because you can catch little tid bits imbedded in the story, a synopsis may not say. That is my thinking.

#29: Author: Ravagerrr,

Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 8:06 am
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Sure... but when you get up over 20 chapters or so, there's no way you'd want to go through em all just to get to the latest decision point! After 50, after 100 etc...?

#30: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 8:30 am
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I voted to find out after Kape. The goat man did save our life.

City of IF -> Pillbox

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