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City of IF -> Grim Reaping

#1: Grim Reaping : Chapter 9 Author: ashkent, Location: Conversing with the Backside

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:44 pm
—
“We’ve been through this before.”

“Arr arrrrarrrr?”

“No.”

“Arararar arrr?”

“Look, you should know by now that pleading doesn’t work on me. I’ve had human’s pleading with me, animals pleading with me, even a couple of dinosaurs tried to sweet talk me into letting them avoid the ice age. I have become somewhat immune to every possible kind of begging there is. So do not ask again.”

“Arr arrr arrr ar?”

“I do wish you were capable of dying sometimes. I’d be more than happy to collect your soul and send it somewhere far away.”

“Arr ar.”

“You don’t need to thank me. Now, we have an appointment to keep, and remember you are not to use that scythe!”

We walked through corridors lined with old faces in frames and mahogany timepieces. The carpeted floors were very dull and unimpressive, although there were a number of chandeliers and decorations to keep the eyes occupied.

People passed by in blissful ignorance of who they brushed shoulders with on their way to and from chambers. I found myself wondering just how many of these souls would be finding there way to Jimmy when I came calling for them. They were not evil, not one of them, but their tendencies for twisting fact, turning the truth and frankly telling bare-faced lies would certainly tip the scales in favour of a warm afterlife.

“Arr arrr arrr?”

“Yes it is.”

“Arr arrrrrarrr arrararararrrr?”

“Well he’s got a speech to make in about half an hour. It is one of those big speeches they make every so often. I would not expect you to understand the entire– ”

“Arrrarrr arr arrrrr arrrrrar. Arrrarararrrr ar ar arrrr arrrrrr arr?”

“I did not know you read human documents,” I said with genuine surprise. “Actually, I did not know you could read at all. What happened to those picture books?”

“Arrr arr arrrrrrr.”

“Well, you should know better than to tell Jimmy what they were. You know he has a weakness for the big ones.”

“Arrr arrrr?”

“Well, you are right. He likes small ones too. I think we should drop the subject now, I have already been caught in one of Jimmy’s sexually orientated conversations today and I would rather not repeat the moment with you. No offence.”

“Arrr arrrar.”

“Ah, here we are,” I said, pulling Pinkie to a halt by his ears. “A little early but never mind. Come on.”

I led the way into the small chamber, where one Hector Carlton sat behind a small desk with a pen in his hand and a half scrawled speech before him. Hector Carlton was fifty-nine years old and had spent most of his life behind that very same desk, writing various speeches for the important people around him.

“It shouldn’t be too long,” I said, turning to admire the somewhat dull view of London.

“Arrrr ar arrrrr arrrrr?”

“Well there’s no reason why you can’t really,” I said, watching the endless rivers of traffic passing by. “You just tend to be a little impatient and end up– ”

Shiff. Thunk!

“– please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was,” I finished.

“What the hell is that thing?” Hector Carlton’s shade asked.

I turned around to find the soul of the very recently deceased Parliament speech writer looking at a guilty-faced Pinkie, who was attempting to hide his scythe behind his back. I moved my gaze beyond, to the slumped cadaver, and more importantly to the half complete speech beneath its cooling hand.

“That,” I replied, “is the bane of my existence. When I said there was no reason why you couldn’t do the job, I was being metaphorical. I did have a very good reason why you could not collect this soul, or any other come to that matter, and that reason was the one you have just displayed so impeccably. Do not say thank you! It is not a compliment.”

Pinkie chose to sensibly remain quiet.

“Mr Carlton,” I said to the spirit. “Do you remember what you were writing a moment ago?”

The soul looked at me, but did not reply.

“Mr Carlton?”

The soul looked at its former vessel.

“Mr Carlton?”

“Oh shit,” Hector Carlton said.

“I was thinking something along those lines myself, “ I said.

“I’m dead.”

“You are. A little prematurely though.”

“You’re Death”

“In the circumstances, you can call me Grim. Now, Mr– ”

“I’m dead.”

“We have already clarified that. Now if you could– ”

“But I can’t be dead.”

“I think you will find that you can be, and indeed are. Now, I really need to know how far you got with– ”

“Oh shit. I’m dead. You’re Death.”

“Oh no,” I said, to myself as the spirit of Hector Carlton was beyond the ability to respond.

“Arr?”

“Your little impromptu collection, a whole two minutes early, has sped up the loss of his memory. It has also caused a small glitch in the equilibrium of the planet.”

“Ar arrr.”

“That pretty much covers it. Before he died, this man should have completed that speech.”

“Oh shit. I’m dead. You’re Death.”

“That is starting to become annoying,” I said, reaching for my visa book. “Let me get him into Ghost Recon and then we have work to do.”

“Arrrr ar ar?”

“We have a speech to write.”

So, the speech is obviously for a Member of Parliament, it is an important speech, but what is the speech about. All I want is the subject and I’ll do the rest. Smile

Last edited by ashkent on Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:00 pm
—
Arrrr!

Nice one Ask!

Mmm, it's obviously a defense department speech, which will change the govt. policy on the super new doomsday weapon that will otherwise be built (or not built maybe!).

Very Happy

#3: Author: scissorkitty, Location: Escaping the Hair Lair

Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:52 am
—
I think it's a speach about taxes. Maybe cutting some, whatever..

death and taxes.

d'oh!

Perhaps some wonderfully freeing decrease in taxes was about to occur, and Grim and Pinkie have just doomed us all to yet more mindless shuffling. way to go, Team!

#4: Author: Black Hawk, Location: On board my ship/ At the Inn

Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 1:16 pm
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nice new Avatar Scissorkitty Very Happy

it should be an announcement that the guillotine is being reinstated as the national execution method

#5: Author: ashkent, Location: Conversing with the Backside

Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:06 pm
—
A couple more days for ideas then i'll poll it.

#6: Author: ashkent, Location: Conversing with the Backside

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:31 pm
—
OK, i've put the poll up, and padded it out with a couple of ideas of my own for your decisioning.

#7: Author: Black Hawk, Location: On board my ship/ At the Inn

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:35 pm
—
WOOT voted for my option only no one else did

#8: Author: ashkent, Location: Conversing with the Backside

Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 11:36 am
—
Well, i cast my own vote just to put it beyond doubt.

A doomsday weapon it is.

Let the mayhem commence. Smile

#9: Author: Crunchyfrog,

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:24 am
—
Enjoyed that!

Looks like I missed the vote but all caught up now and poised for the next chapter....

Smile

#10: Author: ashkent, Location: Conversing with the Backside

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 6:57 am
—
Apologies for the delay with a new chapter. It is on it's way, but moving house has led to internet and computer mayhem of the type I usually write about Smile

Soon....soon....

City of IF -> Grim Reaping

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