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I let go of her and turned around. I stepped back into the living room, automatically hitting the light switch on my way in. I moved halfway through the room before looking behind me. My lover stood on the balcony, her arms outstretched. A single ray of sunlight remained outside, shining down gloriously upon the balcony and the angel that stood there. It reminded me of a movie I saw once. A long time ago. |
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I buried my face in my hands and took a deep breath. Anxiety was filling me and I didn't know why. Something was amiss in this perfect world. The sun wasn't just dipping behind the clouds, it was vanishing. Being swallowed by the storm. Deep down, I knew that it couldn't be. It was just a storm but my fear convinced me otherwise. There was another flash of lightning that managed to penetrate my hands and closed eyelids.
As the bright light subsided, I could hear a light set of footsteps march up in front of me. I glanced up from my hands and saw my female companion standing there, completely drenched. Her hair hung to her shoulders, heavy with moisture. Her nightgown clung tightly to her slender form as she smiled down at me. He brought a hand up and gently stroked my cheek. Water flowed down her porcelain flesh and gathered in a puddle at her feet. It almost looked as if she was crying but with the water coming from her hair, it was hard to tell. She leaned in, kissed my forehead and then knelt down to stare directly into my eyes. “You are going to get through this,” she said, her sweet voice hovering in the air for a moment after she spoke, clinging to it like the rain and smell of lilac clung to her flesh. The way I had clung to her on the balcony. “I promise that you will. The storm will pass as it always does in the end.” “Mona, please,” I said. I leaned in to kiss her but before we could make contact, there was a loud boom of thunder that seemed to shake the entire world and she suddenly dropped out of my sight and sent me sitting bolt upright in bed. I looked around and found myself out of the luxury apartment that I had been in just moments before. Instead, I was in a crummy downtown dwelling that reeked of booze, cigarette smoke, sweat and stale air that hasn't tasted a breath of anything fresh in a long time. The smell of lilac was completely eradicated. Gone alongside with the dream. With Mona. |
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She glanced over her shoulder at me and flashed me a bright smile that shone even brighter than her eyes. Her ivory teeth, seemingly reflecting all the light in the room. |
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I planted a soft kiss upon her cheek before holding her tight and smiling softly. |
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...turned on the TV and flicked it to a channel that was currently exclusively played old cartoons that I used to watch when I was a kid.
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I typed another paragraph before getting up and grabbing a sliver cross necklace from the necklace and slipping it over my head. |
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Gray clouds were spread across the sky causing the atmosphere to be bleak and gray. |
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Letting out a sigh, I shuffled my way through the ocean of trash and dirty laundry and plopped down on my couch. |
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It showed Mother Nature's true nature of being a frigid bitch. |
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After a few hours, I pushed myself out of bed and peeked through the window that sat at least two feet away. |
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Within a couple minutes, I polished off the entire bottle and curled up on the cold, wet ground by the grave. Then I sobbed. My entire body shook as all I was able to do was cry. Tsunamis of grief and guilt washed over me. Flashes of her eyes and her smile erupted in my mind, each image increasing the power of my drunken sorrow. After managing to compose myself, I rose and moved around so that I could face the grave in its entirety.
My legs didn't exactly feel sturdy but deep sorrow and whiskey can have adverse effects. In silence, I stood and stared at the headstone. A thousand memories played over in my mind. Some of them lasted barely a minute, others lasted a lot longer. I remembered the first time we met. The first “I Love You.” First kiss, first dance, the first time we made love. A miniature lifetime played over in my head as the clouds opened wider and the rain came down in a torrential downpour that drenched me in seconds. |
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I opened my mouth to speak but a million different possibilities flood my min so instead, I moved forward and took a seat on the ground next to the headstone. |
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She had the freckles, the hair and the thin figure that helped to conceal a turly never-ending appetite. |
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In between a couple of sesame seed buns was a lamb burger with rosemary and thyme. Inside the burger was a center of goat cheese and atop of the burger was a small amount of cabbage. |
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You feel like a failure even though there was nothing you could have done. And I am hear to offer you something that has been eluding you for so long? |
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