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#41: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:27 am
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Very entertaining - caused enough sniggers to mean I had to explain myself to my collegues next to me. Very Happy

I think Stoat's little dialogue will work and Chinaren will get out of this one fairly easily.

On to the yours...erm mine. Very Happy

#42: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:29 am
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Yes muddy I know Alegria's a guy thats the entire point ... he's even more "don't call me a girl" than I am. Thus in this world ... he wants to be one .... da dah! gotit? Very Happy

#43: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:36 am
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He could always feign a good excuse, such as how he was distracted by the lump of tea hung in his throat. Then go on as the Stoaty suggested, and explain how Muaddib the Magnificent was simply waiting to slip off the tip of his tongue. Wink

#44: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:12 am
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Well you all seem to have come up with the same idea for the next chapter which makes polling a bit redundant. So what I'm going to do is just get on with the story. Smile

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CH3 - Really Bad Day!

China gulped. This was not something he'd expected after breakfast. A light jog, maybe a read of the paper ... firing people was also a great way to let your food go down. This was a new experience. If he wasn't very careful he also had the feeling that this may also be his last experience. Good job he was always good at thinking on his feet. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

"Well of course there's nothing great about Muaddib. Marvellous, stunning ... increadible ... but not great."

The guards looked at eat other then looked back at him. The rifle barrels hadn't moved. There was the feeling here that they just felt like shooting something. China did not feel like being target practice.

"I was just about to tell Alegria here that I would be happy to back her in her mission to lead the women of IF. I think she and Muaddib would suit each other very nicely."

Alegria blushed. This was not a pretty sight. This was a very insipid sight that made the rather butch figure look even more ridiculous.

The guard leader looked over China's shoulder for confirmation of this statement. Alegria who was now swooning slightly was all too happy to help.

"Of course he was. I mean nobody would be stupid enough to insult Muaddib. People end up working in offices for that kind of thing. All those fancy desks and paperwork is enough to make anybody sick just thinking about it. Why would he want to be taken away from good hard labor?"

China was still mulling this remark over as the guards lowered their weapons and grunting something about finding someone else to blow away went back to their patrol.

China, now somewhat glad his trousers were the shade they were turned back to the wo-man behind him.

"Thanks for that Alegria I owe you one. I'm so flustered now I can't remember the way to the mine ... I'm going to be so late for work."

Alegria smiled gently. There seemed to be no end to the ways "she" could make stomach churning, cringing, sensations happen. China really wanted to make an insulting remark but refrained from this purely for the sake of getting away from "her" as quickly as physically possible. She seemed intent on being twee and re-inforced this with her next sacarine comment. She'd gone from ludicrously zelous to sickeningly sweet in the bat of an eyelid. Batting her eyes was something else China wished she'd stop doing it was creating a draught.

"I can understand dear. As you're going to be my first votee..."

"I wonder why?" Thought China

"... I would be more than willing to help you. I'm assuming your talking about the Salt Mine or you'd have taken a train hours ago."

She pulled a leaf out of a pad of paper on the stall infront of her and drew him a little map. Grinning and taking it fom her he said his goodbyes and made his way faster than a fox that had just told a bunch of hounds that they couldn't catch it if it were dead. Alegria was left standing next to the stall waving a petition shouting something about him forgetting to sign it.

China was telling himself as he trudged towards work that the day couldn't get any worse. He had always been an optimistic soul and the law of averages dictated that as he had already nearly been executed things would probably get better. When he reached the gates to the mine these thoughts rapidly changed.

The mine entrace was nothing more than a shaft in the ground with a little booth next to it. As he arrived a head poked out of this.

"Hang on a minute. I have to clock you in."

Standing in the booth was a tall rather well built man. He was wearing a red uniform and cap. Infact he looked more like a very colourful train conductor than a security guard. On his chest was a little badge which read:

"Crymzon - Workers Investigation Bureau"

China felt flustered. Emerald didn't mention anything about having to have a clocking in card. She was a silly bimbo in this world as well. At least everything hadn't changed. This would therefore be another one of those times where fast thinking would be required. He didn't want to find himself playing with firearms again.

Before he had a chance to say anything he was hit in the head. When his vision cleared slighly he realised that Crymzon was grinning and holding a great big stamp reading "Worker," in red block capital letters." China had a feeling that said word was now adorning his forehead.

This was clocking in? What would they do when lunch time came ... beat him around the head with a loaf?

Still slightly dazed China made his way down the very rickety ladder into the mine and emerged into a series of subterranian tunnels. Next to him was a big cart filled with pickaxes. He hauled one onto his shoulder and went looking for the nearest worker. This was something that became an impossible task. He was so muddled by the mornings events it took him a good few minutes to realise something he should have picked up on the instant he entered the mine.

There wasn't a soul anywhere. The place was completely deserted.

"Bloody hell what now?"

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Why is the mine empty?

#45: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:35 am
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LOL! Another good chapter from the Crymzon Clock-Stamper!

Well, I would say that the reason the mine is empty is that the workers have decided that as it's a 'mine', it should belong to 'me'. It's obvious that the Unions will have got hold of the concept and be trying to negotiate with the Grand High Muaddib (for that, read 'getting disposed of quietly and not-so-quietly by Muaddib) to make the salt mines into a shared collective.

It's a strike - and Chinaren's just broken it. He's just turned himself into a line-breaker. A scab Wink

#46: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:45 am
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Ooh I like that idea, nice one stoaty ... lets see what else comes in. Very Happy

#47: Author: Solomon Birch, Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:52 am
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*grin* Good chapter Crymmy! Lovin' the 'China-bashing'! Wink

I wonder if the mine is empty because Mua decided that all the workers had worked hard enough and they have all recieved huge cash bonuses and have retired early. And Chinaren's just missed this... :biggrin:

*holds breath* Shocked

#48: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:12 pm
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We are talking about a communist regime here - as if under Stalin. What are the chances of that?

I reckon they've all been captured to be used in a dark sacrifice - or maybe a light sacrifice seeing how everything's been reversed.

#49: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 3:48 pm
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You will all pay for this!! *shakes fist*

Great chapter Stampy! I am in a rush now, so need to go away and think about this.

Don't listen to that Stoat though! Wink

#50: Author: Idea master, Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages.

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:28 pm
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Noooooooooo!
Me precious mines! What have you done to them?!
*Joins China in the fist-shaking*
I say he finds out that he's in the wrong mine, and is supposed to work in the Stupidium mines across the city.
Of course, long exposure to Stupidium is dangerous to metal intelligence...
*Insert evil, wicked grin here at the thought of China's brain being slowly stupified*
You will pay...
*Weeps over the transmuted mines*

#51: Author: jnmrcs, Location: Puerto Rico, Soy Boricua pa' q tu lo sepas...

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 10:33 am
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I prefer IM idea.

Also he could be late. as a mine they are working underground but right now they are very deep... so they all use a cart to go there.

Also as there are some pick axes maybe they haven't started to work. They could be in a reunion before start the work.

The reunion could be because of some sort of patriotical thing (like singing the hymn of US before class, something like that but with mua on it) or because they were receiving new instructions about the work.

#52: Author: Muaddib,

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:31 pm
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Quote:

I wonder if the mine is empty because Mua decided that all the workers had worked hard enough and they have all recieved huge cash bonuses and have retired early. And Chinaren's just missed this...

I wonder if we can standardize my nicknames. I'll put a petition in the IUPAC, or ISO.

#53: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:51 pm
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You're McDibsky, Leader of the Ifian Communist Party.
All others are petty mock-ups of your name.

#54: Author: Thracia Alba, Location: The Golden State

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:54 pm
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There's nothing great about this story, Crymzon! Wonderful, perhaps. Spectacular, hilarious, yes. Not simply great. Wink

I enjoy the idea of Chinaren becoming an accidental scab. Imagine some hundred-odd enraged miners charging after him with pick-axes raised. *smiles dreamily*

Last edited by Thracia Alba on Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

#55: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:55 pm
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*giggles* And if they're the sort of miners who use pickaxes...

then they can 'pick' the 'scab' Wink

#56: Author: Thracia Alba, Location: The Golden State

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:57 pm
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Grooooooaaan. Laughing

I walked right into that one, didn't I?

#57: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:58 pm
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*smirks* I'm afraid so!

#58: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:33 am
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As appealing as the line-jumper scab idea is, I just picture the other workers wandering around the salt mines, confused about what all the white stuff is.

They're walking around, musing in redneck voices about all the pretty white stuff everywhere, waiting for someone to show up and explain what they should be doing.

#59: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:38 am
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"Huk yuk, I knows wots that white stuffs is. I thank its that sulphuride molydoxinal" Wink

-~-

How about the simple reason the mines are empty is that it's a weekday, and everyone knows that in Mirror IF you have the weekdays off and have to work weekends.

Although, because the weekends are so short, you have to work the 48 hours straight?

However - that doesn't explain why Crymmy the happy stamper is working. Maybe he thinks you're doing overtime?

Just a random lunchtime thought,

Happy Writing. Smile

#60: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:31 am
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The happy stamper only works on weekdays (that way nobody ever gets clocked in and gets paid) and he was just thrilled to finally get to do some stamping.

#61: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:10 am
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Woah dude! I can't wait to write CH4 .... this is my favourite storygame this is. I'm not used to being thought of as funny ... just sarcastic and obnoxious ... funny is good! Very Happy

Now I've finished ranting ... erm ... great ideas keep going Cool

#62: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:18 pm
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Nice to see the humor is still coming, Cry..

I prefer Shady's idea about the word play on 'mine.' You can add in the Scabss, and whatever else suggested in later. Cool

#63: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:57 am
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Righteo then .. poll time me thinks Very Happy

#64: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:40 am
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Voted, and created a tie.

Thanks for the Bob.

#65: Author: ethereal_fauna, Location: USA

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:53 am
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In the end, I finally decided to go with Stoat's strike idea. Just sounds like the kind of situation our poor Chinny would get himself into. Razz

#66: Author: Solomon Birch, Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:58 am
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Yes, ruining the picket line is funny; muchos angry, preferably angry Northern miners demanding China blood as payment!

*holds breath* Shocked

#67: Author: jnmrcs, Location: Puerto Rico, Soy Boricua pa' q tu lo sepas...

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:40 pm
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voted for the one that would made more problems to china (at least I hope so, Laughing

)

#68: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:29 pm
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Gotta go for the strike idea. We need to only add a few more problems to China's life. Or else he will be wallowing in his fatbucks, which would not be good. Cool

#69: Author: Thracia Alba, Location: The Golden State

Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:23 pm
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Voted for the strike, of course. PICK THE SCAB! PICK THE SCAB! Laughing

#70: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 6:45 am
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Looks like you'll be wanting chapter 4 then? Right well It should be out by the end of today or tomorrow at the latest so keep you eyes peeled ...

*keep you eyes peeled* what kinda sick minded FREAK came up with that one? Very Happy

#71: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:47 am
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Voted in a vain attempt to head of the scab thing. Shocked

#72: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:00 am
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Righteo then, chapter 4 it is.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CH 4 - It's All Mine!

In the average mine. On the average mining day. With mining. One would expect miners. This equation fitted perfectly. Except here.

There was plenty of mine here. The expected tunnels, rudementery carts, the odd worried canary sitting in its cage. Canaries must have been very intelligent birds, the only ones in all of birddom with the capability of saying, "Can anyone else smell gas?" What this mine was definately lacking, however, was miners.

China suddenly had the feeling that his day was going to go from wierd, to bad, to worse, to well ... a really really bad word that his shattered mind hadn't thought to come up with yet.

He sat on a little mound of rubble and pondered the situation with the aid of a canary.

"Well why am I the only one here then?."

"Tweet."

"Well yes I suppose I could just be early ... but after all the messing around with Miss Wrong back there and the blast happy bunch I really can't see that. There must be another reason what do you think?

"Tweet tweet."

"Oh you think they moved down to a lower level? Well thats very clever yes that could be true. Wait a minute. They'd still have to come past me to bring the salt to the surface so that can't be right."

If a canary can look bemused this was definately the case, but then putting up with this was definately better than being blow into lots of little, chunky, birdy bits. It flapped its lemon wings lightly and hopped about on its perch.

"Tweet tweet!"

"Yes alternatively they could have all wized up to the blatantly obvious fact that Muaddib is just and over zelous loony and gone on strike. He can't shoot the lot of em after all. I never did believe all that share the wealth rubbish. At least I was honest enough to tell other people that I would be aquiring large amounts of money that should have by all standards belonged to them and keeping it."

This little spark of thought was something that was suddenly more upsetting than having a bunch of psychos aiming loaded weapons at your head. He looked back to the Canary. He could feel himself about to start crying.

"You see if they're all on strike, it makes total sense that I'm the only one here. It also means that my being the only one here has broken the solidarity of it. That sounds somewhat complicated but its this simple. I'm in a great big stinkin pile of, (he bit his lip,) Salt."

He had to think really quickly now. He wasn't getting any help from the canary afterall. It was just making stupid tweeting sounds. That wasn't of any use.

"I suppose I could just hide until this all over. There has to be miles of tunnel down here. There's no way they'd find me. Thats it. I'll just hole up until all this is over and then I can go and find a nice quiet little corner in which to curl up and die."

A monitor in the rock flicked on in front of him. He could see himself on it. In a little corner at the bottom of the screen the word "MUDCAM," could be seen.

China smiled to himself then proceeded to bang his head on the nearest wall a few times to see if it would all go away. It didn't. It seemed that the wall was quite a bit more solid than his head and that pain had decided to give the wall a hand and knock back at the same time.

Head pounding China stared miserably into the monitor. No escape for him then. If he could see himself, then someone else could see him too.

A voice blurted from a tannoy hidden in the rock ceiling of the tunnel.

"I see your back then you miserable little turd. And where are you're little lackeys?"

China had the strangest feeling that this particular tirade was being aimed at him. He'd been picked on. Nearly molested, beaten up and now he was being attacked by invisible voices. It just wasn't going to get any better.

"YOU! Will be dealt with accordingly later, I'm suprised you have the nerve to show back up here at all after you started that strike. You know the rules on infringements of the workers code!"

China had to reply.

"So if there's a workers code then why did I start the strike?" His brain was still trying to process the personal pronoun he'd had to use there.

"That's the entire point you idiot! There isn't a workers code! You infringed it by making one!"

This didn't work in china's head. Saying this "Work," didn't work in China's head the rest of this was excrusiatingly torturous baggage. He figured that the point that the mysterious floating voice was making was that if the state said it was right it was. This was a theory that ran in both IFs. For the first time China didn't like the "because I said so," rule. The voice broke his chain of thought.

"But we'll deal with you later, for now we'll be sending the press down so that you can tell all of IF how sorry you are and get everyone back to work. That is what you're here to do ... Isn't it!?"

China shrank into a little near demented ball.

"Absolutely" he said glumily.

As promised several seconds later there was a small mass of ravening hounds standing in front of him making more noise than is necessary for any set of ears. It was that shady and notoriously dangerous organisation known as the press.

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What does China do now?

Last edited by Crymzon on Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:13 am; edited 2 times in total

#73: Author: Shady Stoat, Location: England

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:11 am
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Good chapter Cool

It occurs to me that Chinaren of the normal IF was very good with the press and very good at taking his opportunities.

He's still the same Chinaren. Could he resist taking this chance to turn the situation to his own advantage? Some strange new marketting ploy, either to get the workers back into the mines (and thus pacify Mc Dibsky the great), or to become the new leader of the rebellion and try and acquire a power-base (and an awful lot of money) that way instead Very Happy

He's certainly not going to cave in to the faceless voice. Not his style at all Razz

#74: Author: Crymzon,

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:20 am
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It just occured to me when I was writing that it's bad to be a scab but its probably worse to start the strike in the first place and then randomly become the scab. Very Happy

#75: Author: Solomon Birch, Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:42 am
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LOL, yes he does seem to be in the s*** somewhat...

Good chapter Crymmy; more Chinaren bashing on the horizon. Great. Wink

Cept' he has toothache, so we have to be nice.

And on that note, I think that just before the press run in, a horde of angry miners should sweep him up and drag him deep into the mines. They will be oddly pleased at his return to the mines, which at first Chinaren doesn't understand, but soon realises its because he brought them a load of press coverage. They knew a strike wasn't going to affect Muadibb at all, he just ignore them and employ some impoverished children ( Wink

) instead, but the press coverage should do wonders for thier cause.

And because they we're all getting a little bored with striking anyway. Not much to do on a picket line... :biggrin:

*holds breath* Shocked

#76: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:02 am
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LOL. I can't wait till the real China comes back and reads about what is happening to him...

I like Solie's idea about angry miners picking China up, and hauling him into the mines with the press looking on.

Can't think of much what China can do now. Though it doesn't seem there is much he can do.

#77: Author: LordoftheNight, Location: Hell

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:32 pm
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Don't forget Shady, that though Chinaren in the Real World may be good with the press, in this one he might be abysmal at it.

#78: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:16 pm
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Ha, Bob was here.

Anyways. Good point Lordy. RL China is different from his mirror image here. We may have to ask him, so we get our facts right. Cool

#79: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:42 pm
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Actually I am not bad at it in RL either. You have to be here, where a random camera crew will suddenly turn up* and want to interview you.

So then, assuming it is going out live Chinaren will rally and turn the tables on the Overlord McDibbsy. Oh yes.

How about how I am down the mine to lure the cameras here and show the people what terrible working conditions the common folk have to endure. How Muaddib is forcing us to work for a pittance in a dangerous environment, with only a canary for dinner between the lot of us.
How we should rise up against the oppressor in a GENERAL CITYWIDE STRIKE! >>Strikes a heroic pose<<

If it isn't going out live, then there won't be much point saying anything, as they will just change it later.

*Which has happened more than once, really. It's ineresting living in China.

#80: Author: Ravenwing, Location: Virginia

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:13 pm
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*laughs* Hilarious. I think that works. So basically you're trying to throw the whole dictator image on the McDibbsy.

I heard that the vendors in China are pretty bad also. Some of friends went to China this past summer and were hounded down by vendors waving items in front of their faces.
Apparently one guy was standing in front of them when they were on a boat or something. And one of the girls was so scared, she quickly closes the window on the guy's head. They wouldn't shut up about it for weeks.

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