City of IF :: View topic - The Dark chapter 15

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City of IF -> The Dark - COMPLETE

#1: The Dark chapter 15 - The Fall. Author: The Dark, Location: Tome.

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:52 am
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This is a tale both gross, foul and more,
With violence and blood galore.
It includes sexual scenes too, oh so bad,
Some swearing too, just a tad,

So if you are weak at the knees,
Or a minor, then please,
Return to a nicer place,
Before you are corrupted by what your eye sees.

This has been a badly composed poetic Dark warning. Thank you for your attention.

Chapter 16. The Fall.

Last edited by The Dark on Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:08 am; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: The Dark, Location: Tome.

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:54 am
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And so The Dark comes to a quivering close. There shall be a short epilogue soon, and then the tale will be done.

Thank you for reading.

Comments, of course, welcome.

#3: Author: Smee, Location: UK

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 2:04 am
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Great finale Darky. I enjoyed it alot.

The poem... don't give up the night job. Wink

Congratulations for finishing a SG, and a very good one at that. A worthy achievement for anyone.

Happy Writing Smile

#4: Author: The Meaning Of Fear, Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting.

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 3:13 pm
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Very nice, although I did expect a bit more.

You'll be doing a sequel, right? After all, if you weren't, there'd be no point in leaving The Dark alive...

Quote:

came the infuriation voice as the clip ran dry

infuriating?

#5: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 4:21 pm
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The Dark did say there would be an epilogue Meany.

Well done there Dark old fellow. Smile

#6: Author: NeverNeverGirl, Location: dreaming away of tomorrows to come

Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 8:22 pm
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no
no
no
noo
mooo
oops i mean
noooooooo

okay - heres the thing. The details of the story - i dont have ENOUGH!

How did he get in the book? Was he a human once? How did Ice fall in love with him!

How did .. did.. did... everything... come on! I demand a Prequel, Sequel and lots more other than an Epilogue! Sad

#7: Author: The Dark, Location: Tome.

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:50 am
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Some of those answers may come out in the epilogue, Ms. Never. Others, well, some things will ever remain a mystery.

The Dark is planning another Gloom adventure. Watch this space. The Dark still has more filth within him, ready to spurt forth and stain the carpet.

#8: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 10:46 am
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Great ending overall. This is one of my all-time favorite storygames.

Maybe the concept of the devil dampened the intense ending a bit for me, because I thought it was going too far. If the devil exists, then so do God and the angels, and though I don't have a problem with that, most authors tend to utilize pre-concieved notions of heaven and hell in their stories. Dante's Inferno was a notable exception, but usually I dislike stories that delve into such a topic in a banal fashion. Especially if the author must resort to capitalization and bold words to express the might of pure evil.

On the other hand, I might be reading too seriously. Humor pervades your story, and I should not expect any less of this inferno scene. If you wrote this last section humoristically, then I apologize for my lack of intuition and retract my judgment.

By the way, what happened to Ice? Did Gloom's kick kill her?

Last edited by D-Lotus on Sun May 04, 2008 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

#9: Author: Chinaren, Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 4:41 pm
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Quote:

Great ending overall. This is one of my all-time favorite storygames.

Wow! High praise indeed there from D, Dark! I hope you know how rare that is! You must tell me your writing secrets, as D-Lotus always brutally tears my stories apart! Wink

#10: Author: D-Lotus, Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:24 pm
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I do it because I care, Cren; you know that. Also, it would help if your stories didn't come in those irresistible 'easy-tear' packages. Smile

#11: Author: DELETED,

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:44 am
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DELETED

#12: Author: Mephistopheles, Location: Not where I want to be.

Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 2:10 am
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Very well done Dark. Perhaps a bit too Dante-ish...red rock instead of was it sand or water?...I don't recall right now, but still....very well writ. congrats on the completion of an excellently morbid and twisted tale!

I hope to see the sequel...and hope that it exceeds this works tasteful depravity.

City of IF -> The Dark - COMPLETE

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