Chinaren wrote: |
The only small, tiny, critisism, and it's barely that, is that I'd have stopped the chapter at:
“BUCKAWK!” |
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'Awkward' doesn't begin to describe the silence that followed. It was paraparetic. It was a Parkinsonian bull in a shop for osteoporitic china. The silence had a major cerebellar infarct. I felt bad about breaking it. |
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He had speared a wide receiver in the chest and twisted his neck on the way down |
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If I were you, I’d find a nice secluded place and stock up on supplies and ammunition. It’s going to get pretty nasty soon. |
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Its also strongly resembles "Wrath" by Chinaren in a few ways. Kinda turned off on this story now. |
Chinaren wrote: | ||
Wrath is Bad Thing? |
marbledog wrote: |
(Yes, this is blatant flattery. Take it where you can get it. ) |
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