Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:20 pm|
Interviews, Far and Wide Where, o where has our Readership gone? June's been here and left its stain of dropped ribs and smudged sm'ores on all our cargo pants and hoodies.. and yet we still don't have our final awards from the IFys.. man! Those crowds have sure been milling outside for a while now! Good thing the Paparazzi don't seem to tire like normal people.. or creatures.. or even imaginary creatures. I warn you, Gentle Readers.. the first one of you to knowingly inflict Paris Hilton on IF will only WISH for a strident beating. That being said, how to pass the time in this Glorious Summer? Oh wait.. I have an idea.. How about a whole series of interviews?!! Well.. that's what you get for putting a Kitty in charge.. I get to do whatever I want here and YOU have to suffer! BWAA HAA HAA!!! 
Anyway.. to get on with it.. The Inglorious Interviewing Process Begins... with... VGMASTER!!! VG sits in front of his estate, his Blue Mask glowing in the sunlight and his black robe flowing in the wind. He sips his chocolate milk, which is his favorite drink, and thinks back on all of his adventures. "Oh, if only there was a nosy reporter that I could babble all of my exciting stories too!" he yells to the sky. As luck would have it, Skitty was in the process of walking through other people's gardens in a typically annoying feline manner, and the light refracting from VG's shining face caught her attention. You know.. that and all the shouting. "HA! So, interesting stories, eh? Lets start with the basics. What's with the.. you know.. masky face thingy?" "Ah yes, so many people ask that!" VG exclaimed cheerily. He looked up to the sky in a reflective way. "Well, you see, it protects my face from things. I am very vulnerable to things. Without my mask, things would be constantly getting me. I can't let that happen could I young shearcat." VG reflected on what he just said, he thought that was her name. Something with feline's and sharp cutting instruments. "Shearcat? Uh.. oh well. Close enough. The sentiment is there anyway. Hm, so yes. Vulnerable to THINGS. Terrible.. terrible. Musn't let things get to you. So.. then.. are you calcium deficient? Or just a terrible fan of brown cow juice?" "Oh, this?" VG picks up his glass of chocolate milk. "I am much more than a fan, I am a connoisseur. 'Brown Cow Juice' is the nectar of the gods," VG picked up his chocolate milk, and swirled it like red wine. He took a sip and said, "Plus, I have to keep drinking it or else I would cough up bloody messes everywhere." VG looked distracted momentarily, "And it's delicious, would you like some?" Skitty licks her kitty lips in something appropriating glee and purrs briefly beneath her breath. "I would love.. i mean.. i really shouldn't.. no, no... is that a bribe?" Smacks a little and moves a little closer. "I mean.. if there's some to spare I could just.. you know.. clean up the excess I guess.... not that I'm going to necessarily be easier on you interview-wise, of course... mmm..." ((This is a TWO PART interview.. so, lets make it interactive! Any questions for our Illustrious Guest??)) the Gallant Truth Haaa ha ha. See what I did there? Oh, you clever readers.. you got it. LAME JOKES!! I love them. Anyway... as we all know, Gallant is having a very exciting event.. (babybabybabybaby)... so, lets do a READERSHIP POLL!!! WHAT should BabyGallant be named? Submit your entries to me via PM, please put BabyGallant in the title line.. and then we'll poll in the next issue! The winner will get a surprise!!! okay, Lovely IFians.. that's all for this super short issue. Just something to let you all know that we're still here at the IFQ... writing, plotting, spying.. you know. The usual. And now.. back to our regularly programmed station! Happy Writing! -Skitty |
