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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:43 am    Post subject: Musings and Meanderings Reply with quote

So we will see how this goes, I'm starting this little thread for all of you who may have blogs, journals, or personal musings that you may want to share with others here. As we all know the city is more for creative writing with the opportunity for input of the other readers and authors, to help guide and spark our own creativity. Normally things like blogs don't normally fit in the city, but I also think this may or may not give each other an insight as to how we write in a personal venue and where the seeds of inspiration come from.
I guess we will see how it all turns out, I just thought it might be interesting to put this out there and see what develops. I hope that those of you who are brave enough to let us view your own personal musings will come and post here.
With all that said, I really, really, really need to get to work on Symphony some time soon. Promises, promises.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:56 am    Post subject: The Muse Is Dying Reply with quote

So a little bit of a disclaimer before I post this here. When I first started this blog/journal type thing, I was trying to write as creatively as I could within the alloted time of that day. The second thing that should be noted is that my mind tends to wander, repeat and trod down the same dark halls over and over again. Despite the tone of my entries I am a positive person who sees my life as a gift and I am thankful for all the things in it. In no means are any of the entries a cry for help or should be misinterpreted as someone seeking a reaction to negative attention seeking. If some of my dark posts come off this way, its not what I intended, it is just simply how I write and how I wrote that particular day. Well I think that covers it all, I hope.

6/5/06
The Muse Is Dying

As I sit here in the dark, with only the ethereal light of the monitor washing my eyes with its glow, I can think of nothing to say. Times like these come too often to me, when I know I must keep the few embers of creativity fanned by diligent practice and as I draw from those glowing cinders what I end up with is cold and lifeless. I think that sometimes that my muse is dying, that is if there ever was one assigned to me in the first place. Though if she is dying, it is not her who has failed me, it is I who have failed her. The only reasonable explanation is that I have starved her to death, I have chained and barred her in a cellar of self-doubt and self-loathing. And so as I mumble and mutter at my utter lack of creativity, my muse rattles the chains in that dark pit, pleading to be heard. It is often said that you should only write what you know and that is why I think my muse is starved. In this life, on this path that I have beaten, it is my own lack of courage and well defined excuses that allow me to prevent experience.

And now I begin anew. The meanderings of an impoverished mind can lead to dark alleys. Though there is no need to visit those hungry streets, where each doubt lurks like a beast ready to rend the flesh off your bones. My intent was to write creatively, but as Neil Gaiman once put it "Intent and outcome seldom concur." – which for me is one of my favorite quotes that I use time and time again. I can already see that this journal will be a task in more ways than its initial concept. For those of you who have treaded into this little space I do hope I have not instill the wrong impression. I am not a man who seeks to tug and pull and manipulate responses in such a way as to cause you to feel "pity" or "sorry" or any other such thing. It is just that, if my muse is speaking through me tonight, she is doing it through gnashed teeth.

I have set a goal that every third night, at the least, I will sit down for 15 minutes and write whatever it is that comes to my mind in as a creative fashion as I can. For now I have sat here forcing out each word, fighting this beast of apathy and now my time has elapsed. Until next time.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 2:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooh... I really like this piece. So very nicely crafted words there E. I'm thinking she feasted well throughout her 15 minutes of fame. Extremely expressive. I often feel like I must bathe in my negativity once and a while to remain optimistic and positive and that was what seemed to be happening here... a nice, deep, hot bath.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thunderbird wrote:
I'm thinking she feasted well throughout her 15 minutes of fame. Extremely expressive. .


Thank you sooo much Thunder, I'm glad that you not only connected with it but enjoyed it as well. As with most of my journal-esque writing most of it will have darker flavors. I don't know why I write like this when it comes to personal reflection, I just do. My greatest concern would be that this and future entries will come off as whiny and self-piteous. I really like the idea that at the time I thought she starved for bread, from your viewpoint she feasted on a banquet. At least no one will report me to MPS (Muse Protection Services).
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And what is this muse that use to fuel you so much? Emperor? This is good, nothing to worry about, its still in the writing world. Even tough I've been told I'm annoying and rude, I don't feel like most people want to hear what I have to say, as one once said that the only ones opinion matters is your own. Sometimes people can confuse you in your life, family would say one thing, while friends would say the other... Plus you have to find meaning in some or all in the world, or else fail to find your muse...
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ahhh not whiney at all, but melancholy and poetic. The kind of thing that sits on you like a heavy blanket-it has weight, but nice and soft.

and basenji, you're not rude, your personality is simply straightforward and not afraid. It's a good thing and it's you.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

crazybookgal wrote:
, but melancholy and poetic. The kind of thing that sits on you like a heavy blanket-it has weight, but nice and soft.


thank you bookgal, I appreciate it Smile. I hope that this cracks open the door to you others out there to put up your own blogs/journals/musings here. I don't want to be the only one. Embarrassed
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:29 pm    Post subject: Ocean Monsters Reply with quote

So I'm gonna post another one, hopefully this will spark others to post some of theirs as well here. In this post there is a particular line I loved when I wrote, to I ripped it from here and placed it firmly in Symphony. Can you spot it?


6-21-06

Ocean Monsters

If by chance there was some miraculous event in which all my dreams would come true I often wonder at how shallow those dreams would seem to other people. I find myself constantly lured and seduced by my own greed and aspirations. I wonder if these fantasies of hoards of money, perfection of skill, an Adonis body and life eternal are the culmination of all that I want. I would like to think not, for I am noble in aspects of my life, in aspects of what I do and how I conduct myself. But I would be a fool to say that I am not a shallow man with very ignoble hungers.

Just a few days ago, I sat under a clear night sky, with pinpoints of eternity shining down on me and my good friend. The ocean came rolling in on waves of black and silver, deep and ancient was the rumble of its voice. The coarse sand stood out only as something soft and grey under a fat yellow moon that hung jealous of the company I shared. It was on this night, our faces being highlighted tawny yellow and sap amber by the two small drug store candles that the subject of truly knowing oneself came up. This friend/brother/kindred soul wondered aloud as to how different the world would be if we all could look in the mirror and see the monsters that may lie there. A good majority of my life was ruled by just that same thing, all my deeds, all my words, all my actions were just flat reflections of a mask. Beyond that mask, in the piercing gaze of truth framed by silver, was the one thing I feared the most… the monster. Anything positive that I could offer was always contrasted against its hellfire eyes and inevitably, standing in front of that mirror of judgment, I could only see myself through those monster eyes. I try to explain this to my companion of the night; I try to put it into words that don't make it sound so desperate, so controlled and so caged. When I'm done babbling, he looks over to me, the psychopomp in his soul shining through his eyes and speaks in a way that his words are carried to me by the wind.

"It is one form of cowardice to never have to face the monster. It is still an equal form of cowardice to never see anything but the monster."

I know he is right, I know that by accepting nothing but the horror is just another excuse not to have to own up to all the nightmares. My mind understands this, over the years, thanks to my companion and two other men of my tribe, I have made some progress in standing up out of my own shadows and allowing myself to be bathed in moonlight, no matter how naked it makes me feel. But as I drove home in my car, his words crashing through my head like lightning; it only fully hit me at how much of a coward I had been. How much fear of my own darkness had ultimate control of me for so many years. In that time I used to think I was being so brave and though I am not where I want to be with understanding all of this, I am better off than I was. So as I fell asleep one line from a song kept running through my head.

"Demon monster days are coming to an end."

Like a clarion call, like a battle cry I take it to me, for it was made for me. And as the dark oblivion of sleep came to claim me, I was grateful that I had friends like Rob and "Reiso" and Chris in my life. Brothers, warriors and tenders to the path.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Again, I liked this one... I'll comment more later when I have more time to consider my words.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hmm interesting... Well u won't be alone Emperor.

A Little Philosophy


Okay so one time I was at a bookstore looking at books. This woman I don't know came around the corner and asked me if I had seen her purse. I said no, cause I hadn't. She left, this lady I had never seen before and will likely never see again.

It got me to thinking about the world as a whole. You know how you are, and I know how I am-we focus on our little world, what we come in contact with, and I bet you, like I, don't think of the whole world very often.

Sure we think of the homeless and needy, kids in Africa, Japanese people, Osama Bin Laden, and stuff like that. But do we ever think just the world?

Well, when that woman disappeared around the corner, I thought about how that woman has a whole different life that probably won't ever have anything to do with mine, and how small the probability is that we even crossed paths. There's so many possibilities about who she was, did she have kids, did she even find her purse? And I'll probably never know.

The world is like one network, a billion lives parallel to each other, sometimes interlocking. And when they interlock, sometimes it's all tangled together in such a complicated way, though sometimes it is a small touch.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.(sign on my wall)

Think about it.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First let me say thank you for putting up one of your own, it was great to see! Secondly, intentional or not, it was a nice tie in to the one I put up - I liked how it touched on the almost intangible influence that the masses of humanity touch our lives almost by proxy. Like you said about mine, you are certainly not alone about such thoughts as I heard echoes of my own mind as I listened to yours. I look forward to seeing more.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you Razz
actually it was unintentional, funny how stuff works out that way Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:06 pm    Post subject: Inventory Reply with quote

4-17-07
INVENTORY


I woke up the other day and I thought to myself that I have unused bits and I wondered just exactly what happens to those little parts of me that are left orphaned to the institution of life. It is not much, these little parts, lost and wandering. A teaspoon here, a milligram there and in the end it’s the volume that does not amount to much. But they are unused bits of me; things that at one time were so important or brought me balance and very rarely insight or happiness. And now I begin to think that as the years tick by these small portions of life and vigor that I have cast aside due to necessity or laziness – they will all congeal to form an entity of guilt and regret pointing a crooked finger at me. Dripping with lost potential and a shadow of forgotten dreams pooling around its feet it would ask me questions like, “Why?” and “How could you?” And all I could do would be to gape at it open mouthed, wishing it would go away. If it stared at it too long I would see reflections in its gooey eyes. A flash of me writing poetry, an image of me running track or a picture of me talking to a friend to bring a little light into the darkest night of her life. On and on they would go, brief, blinding bursts of potential and lost potential. And I would be brought to my knees because sacrifice only cannot atone for all these little bits wanting a reason why they were disregarded.

Only just recently I got an email from a friend wondering how I was doing and that they missed me. And it hit just how close I had been to being something else. Something that I still feel that I should be, something that I want to be and something that I could never be. I thought to myself, here is an unused bit of me, that I just cast aside for responsibility and the prize of a life that is unhappily comfortable. It was this one email that got me thinking about all my other unused parts of me that are just wandering alone, blind in dark halls. Do I regret my life and where it is, the answer is simple and that answer is no. Do I wonder if I am not a whole person without all of these little bits and parts of me – yes. When was the last time you took stock of all the little bits that make up who you are? I will bet that you missing something that you thought was there, and if so, where do they go? What do they do alone, waiting to be called upon again, waiting to be part of the something bigger that was and is this human life?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow... your thoughts echo the things I've been recently dwelling on in my own thoughts, regarding my own life.

Quote:
I thought to myself, here is an unused bit of me, that I just cast aside for responsibility and the prize of a life that is unhappily comfortable.

Powerful stuff. You continue to strike chords within me that resonate eerily poignant. I've been thinking a lot about all those people I don't, but could have, interact with as much as I could/should.

But I think that we are required to sacrifice many of these pieces of ourselves so that we can nurture the most important of those fragments into what we will really become. Had we done so with those other pieces of our lives, we wouldn't have been able to become who we are today, leaving what we HAVE nurtured to be the discarded pieces of that life.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thunderbird wrote:
Wow... your thoughts echo the things I've been recently dwelling on in my own thoughts, regarding my own life.


Powerful stuff. You continue to strike chords within me that resonate eerily poignant. I've been thinking a lot about all those people I don't, but could have, interact with as much as I could/should.


I am glad that my own personal musings have reverberations beyond myself, that is in essence the goal of the human condition after all - a small hope that we will carry on in others.

I look forward to the possibility of seeing something from you own personal meanderings here.

Quote:
But I think that we are required to sacrifice many of these pieces of ourselves so that we can nurture the most important of those fragments into what we will really become. Had we done so with those other pieces of our lives, we wouldn't have been able to become who we are today, leaving what we HAVE nurtured to be the discarded pieces of that life.


Excellent, accurate and poignant observations. I can only agree with what you have said, to add anything more would just make seem smaller.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we all have those what if? moments. I recently read a book about a girl who died on valentine's day. Then she kept living that day over and over. Sometimes she died again, but sometimes she didn't-but she would still wake up and it would be the same day. There was a billion different combinations of things she did and they made her day radically different.

Like you were saying, there are a million ways we could of taken and everything would change. How delicate are world is. It kind of is like you look at a road that has been closed off forever. The streetlights are out, so you can't see through the darkness what would have been at the end of that road, had you taken it.

It really is funny though....this makes me think of our multiverse. Healthy and interesting thoughts for sure E.
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't believe you write these entries in 15 min or less. My own process is much more excrutiatingly slow. You are lucky to be able to write so well with such immediacy.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes... I agree, D. You write these pieces astonishingly well, E.

I'd be happy to join in here and add some thoughts (and I probably will) but I worry that my musings might be too dark or political in nature.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

D-Lotus wrote:
I can't believe you write these entries in 15 min or less. My own process is much more excrutiatingly slow. You are lucky to be able to write so well with such immediacy.


What can I say D, other than thank you and thank you for taking your time to read them. On a note of self criticism, I haven't wrote like this in a long time. It seems to me its all about daily perseverance and sadly I'm lacking commitment as of recently.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For me, it is difficult to sit down and force myself to write. Instead, I carry a small notebook around with me in case inspiration strikes. You'd be surprised, sometimes you get the itch in the strangest places. I've found myself stopping my bike in the middle of the road and scribbling something down. Then again, these scribbles tend to be brief-- mostly I write poetry, and it consists of creating concentrated, intense images. Would you like to see a poem I have been intermittently working on for about 3 weeks?
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to carry around a digital voice recorder myself for times like that. A habit I keep meaning to take up again.

Yes, I would very much like to see what you have been working on. Not that I write poetry anymore, but I believe that is where my genuine interest in writing began.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

D-Lotus wrote:
You'd be surprised, sometimes you get the itch in the strangest places.

Laughing

Sorry... couldn't help myself.


I know what you mean though and yes, I would very much like to see some vintage D-Lotus poetry!
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, this poem is actually in a highly experimental stage right now, so I'd be grateful if you let me know what works and what doesn't work.

Here is the link. Hope it is functioning. It'll be up for a limited amount of time, maybe a week or two before I pull it off.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I LOVE it! At first, it struck me as poetry regarding HAARP in Alaska. But then, by the end, not so sure. Are you speaking of the Moon? Or of the Earth in general? Regardless of my confusion on the topic matter, I was impressed with the beautific and cleverly crafted imagery. It does evoke emotion, though its an emotion that's hard to find a word for - perhaps only 'creativity' can truly grasp the feeling.

Most particularly, I liked the Olmec and Quetzal references, though they pulled me around to thinking all new thoughts regarding the possible topic matter.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:18 pm    Post subject: Stone Pavement vs. the Dreamer Reply with quote

i hate this. the way i feel. like im falling backwards. you know, like in one of those trust things you used to do as a child?

only, i feel like there isnt anyone behind me. like im falling and no one is going to catch me. im just going to slam hard into the cold pavement and lie there crying on the ground. the only comfort i will receive will be from that cold stone beneath me.

this stone's name? Reality. and my name? according to this world, im the Dreamer.

"this is how it has to be, Dreamer," the Pavement tells me. "it might eventually change, but this is the way things are for now." "right now we have to make a choice. you cant have both, Dreamer." well, i dont like what it has to say, that Stone in all its unrelenting misery. no sympathy, no vision, no concern for what COULD be.

no...what could be is for children. there are no real faerie tales. Only silly stories we tell them to get them to do what we want. get them to sleep, make them go to school, eat their veggies. there is no COULD be. there is only what IS. and what WILL be. what HAS to be...

i dont buy that. God gave us freedom of choice did He not? if we dont like something, why not change it? make it better? those dreams you had as a child, why not make them real?? why is it so far fetched to want two good things? why is it so difficult to have a reality that gives life to your fantasies? that Stone says i cant have both...well why the heck not?? whats stopping me? besides me...

"how can you say those things?? a lot of this is your fault!!" i say as i sit up and smack the Stone hard with my hand...oops. that hurt ME. if i say and do harsh things to get my point across, am i really helping? or am i just hurting the thing that im trying to achieve? if i do that, am i not really just hurting myself?

i tell the Stone im sorry and lay back down cradling my broken, bleeding hand against my chest. im not sure what to do now, so i just lay there and pray. i pray that all of this will end soon. turn back to the way things were when it was simple. When what my reality and what my fantasy wanted coexisted so easily.

i guess that’s why im Dreamer. always wanting to mix oil and water and never wavering in the faith that i can. that faith will never waver. i CAN mix them. i CAN have both. my dreams CAN be brought to life in my reality…its just a matter of figuring out how…
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:20 pm    Post subject: Ugly Duckling Reply with quote

.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Ugly Little Duckling
Everyone's heard the story of the ugly duckling...
Little duckling doesn't fit in with the other ducklings.
He isn't beautiful, so the others make fun of him until one day he just runs away.
When winter passes, the ugly duckling is surprised to learn that he wasn't a duckling at all,
but instead he is a swan.
Now all the ducks are jealous because of how beautiful the ugly duckling is...

I wonder though...

Did the swan ever really get over being the "ugly duckling"?
Did he ever see himself as the swan he really was?
Or was he stuck with the image that his society had forced upon him for so long?

Never have i been told that i was ugly.
Never have i been told that i wasn't the girl that i needed to be...
Not to my face anyway...

But when i look at the magazines and television and see the women who are deemed "beautiful" i know...
According to society's standards, I am not beautiful.
When I hear my male friends describe their picture of the perfect woman over...and OVER again, i know...
According to their standards, I am not beautiful.

Oh, those who know me are quick to tell me I'm pretty.
My Love reminds me of his opinion multiple times daily.
But when I look in the mirror, I cannot see past the blemished skin...
Or that extra few pounds that stubbornly cling to my body.
And I wonder...
Is this how the ugly duckling felt for the rest of his life?

The pressure to be beautiful is overwhelming.
The media is full of miracle diets and gimmicks to make me, "look like her!"
But why do I have to?
Why can't I be beautiful and look like myself?
Why is it that in our society, if I'm not petite and perfectly blonde or brunette with flawless skin, i might as well hide under a rock.

I'm not fat.
I've got nice, natural hair.
My eyes are the same as my grandmother's...
So why can't I see myself as beautiful?

Maybe I'm having a moment of vanity.
Perhaps I'm wallowing in my own miserable self pity when I should be grateful for what God has blessed me with.
Or maybe...

Maybe I'm being a voice for all real women in my life.
Maybe I'm writing now, what you've thought to yourself a million times when inspecting your reflection.
Maybe I'm reminding you that you aren't alone in your struggle with the bathroom scale,
Or in your struggle against a society obsessed with beauty.

Or maybe I'm crying out to the men in my life.
Be proud of your sisters, mothers, friends...
AND TELL THEM!!
They might just need to hear it.
Instead of describing perfection and pointing out what they should be,
Tell them the things you admire in each of them.
You might just be the one to change the way they feel about themselves.

Did the ugly duckling ever truly see himself as a swan?
How could he in a society that told him his entire life that he was ugly because he was different?
But maybe...just maybe,
with a little help,
the women in my life...including myself,
will stop seeing themselves as the ugly ducklings society tells us we are,
but instead, see the beautiful swans that God made each of us to be.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd like to answer that, cryptically of course.

Have you ever tried playing a game of Monopoly without dice? Where players just CHOOSE where they land?
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My first reaction to Thunderbird's question --> o.O

I haven't had the time to read through this. In fact I haven't had time to do any bit of writing or reading. Though Im gonna get started on my next chapter in sometime... Smile
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'd say that would be a VERY interesting game. Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say that it would be very stupid if we don't have any limitations. Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:37 pm    Post subject: limitations Reply with quote

yes, but as in Thunder's story HM, what is life worth if we dont recognize the limitations but still strive to overcome them? Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aargh, Just realized I might as well start on Tbird's Heavy Metal. Thanks for reminding me Razz
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:05 am    Post subject: reminder Reply with quote

noooo problem =)
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I replied earlier, I had not realized your second post had come in so I'd like to comment on that as well:

Very nicely worded thoughts. You know... guys struggle with that a lot too. Maybe not from media pressure, but all those rejections we've suffered at the hands of women (girls) from our past will echo through our thoughts for all time, leaving us... never good enough.

Powerful thoughts flying around in here - 'nuff to generate a great deal of inspirectrictricity to power the city. Now where was that plug?
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

indeed. in fact, in the story, the "ugly duckling" was male. i try to let all my loved ones know that they're perfect in my eyes ((sort of the point of LoK, actually)), but it's always good to be reminded. i try to read this every so often so i dont forget myself.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

D-Lotus wrote:
Ok, this poem is actually in a highly experimental stage right now, so I'd be grateful if you let me know what works and what doesn't work.


Firstly D, thank you for putting that up. As Thunder has said your imagery and metaphor use are both strong and evoking. The emphasis points are reminiscent of e.e. cummings. In all honesty it doesn't need much work in my opinion. The only suggestions I could make are though the emphasis points work due to how many their are they lost a little of their oopmh. The second would be the formatting, when I first started the poem I was really into the format, it pulled the eye to where it was needed as the various lines hit you. But somewhere near that last quarter of it, due to the length of the the poem it became a little hard on the eyes. I hope this helps somehow, but in reality, if it were mine, I would keep it as is.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Andolyn wrote:
im just going to slam hard into the cold pavement and lie there crying on the ground. the only comfort i will receive will be from that cold stone beneath me.

i tell the Stone im sorry and lay back down cradling my broken, bleeding hand against my chest. im not sure what to do now, so i just lay there and pray.

Oh, those who know me are quick to tell me I'm pretty.
My Love reminds me of his opinion multiple times daily.


Nice entries, poignant and beautiful. I really liked that last line I quoted. In todays modern world where we are being constantly bombarded with images and messages it is hard not to feel less than what we are.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thunderbird wrote:
I LOVE it! At first, it struck me as poetry regarding HAARP in Alaska. But then, by the end, not so sure. Are you speaking of the Moon? Or of the Earth in general? Regardless of my confusion on the topic matter, I was impressed with the beautific and cleverly crafted imagery. It does evoke emotion, though its an emotion that's hard to find a word for - perhaps only 'creativity' can truly grasp the feeling.

Most particularly, I liked the Olmec and Quetzal references, though they pulled me around to thinking all new thoughts regarding the possible topic matter.


Actually, Andolyn (in her first post) and I spoke about the same thing: dreams. This is definitely not a poem about technology or U.S. scientific research in Alaska; the word "satellite" is purely metaphoric. I wasn't so much focusing on Earth or Moon, but rather, on a transcendental space somewhere in the celestial world. Part of my intention was to draw a dynamic relationship between, on the one hand, the human, and on the other hand, the other-wordly space of dreams. After reviewing the poem, I am unsure whether that relationship is clear, so I have decided to rewrite it, keeping the same context and some or most of the imagery. My use of the indents was an attempt to delineate the dynamic I spoke about, but as Emperor has pointed out, I may have abused them, so I'll be considering using that form more stategically. Thank you for the comparison with e.e. cummings, by the way-- I was of course thinking of him too.

Andolyn, you write with breathtaking clarity and beautiful lyricism. I agree that our society is too much shape-conscious. It sometimes pushes people to become overly intellectual or overly athletic, because they either reject the 'ugliness' of their body or become too adoring of it. In truth mind and body are one and should be kept in marriage. One way I have found to deal with my own imperfections (it is too late now to ever be completely without worry) is to learn to use my body to the best advantage. To this end, I have taken up dancing, etc. At least it seems to be working for me. Smile
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you, D-Lotus. your poetry, too, is beautiful. =) i love symbolism and use it quite frequently as well.
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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 6:02 am    Post subject: Me Reply with quote

Each day passes one, one right after the other, with nothing more that another sun rise, and set. I do my all to help the people in my life, for work and for family, but at times I lose all hope. Is it a failure of my own when a patient takes it upon themselves to end their time on this green earth? Is it some inadiquacy within myself as a doctor that makes them feel as if there is not help for them?

Every time this happens, I can not help but feel the pain cut me to the bone. My oath, and my nature, does not allow for me t be free of guilt at another's decisions I feel I had a hand in shaping for them. With each day that passes, the light of this world grows ever dimmer for me....But in my life there is one thing that brings the sun back into my skies.In the dark of each night, my moon rises in my heart. One I saved. One I live for. There for me, forever any always, this, my moon, will keep the meaning in my life be a true and fufilling modivation.

Each of us are our own person, but at times, I feel that my moon never leaves my heart, though they may be far from my mortal self. With that in mind, I will continue on, and do my part to help each find their own moon. There is one for all. I must believe this, because without this glowing hope, I may have joined my fallen patients long ago....


++++++++++

Sorry for the darknes....I just lost one recently....Suicide....I'm a Psycologist......
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