Search      Members      Groups      Profile      Favorites      RSS      Register      Log in
Musings and Meanderings
Goto page Previous  1, 2
 
(currently a favorite of 0 users)
   Storygames Home -> City Central -> The City!
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Author Message
Vishal Muralidharan
Respected Citizen



Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Topics: 24
Posts: 867
Location: City Of IF!

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

NOTE- THIS IS NOT MINE!

This was written by my eldest bro, (his name is Vivek, btw) and he's like, AWESOME! I don't know if this 'story' fits in this thread, but I just thought I had to share it with you guys anyway...

-------------------------------------

"But there is no water here" said Jacques, puzzled. Jillian smiled weakly "I know" she said. She too was thirsty. But there was another thirst in her, which she would quench. The other thirst was why she had brought Jacques all the way up the Beluda Hill.

Jacques held in his hand, a golden ornament, glittering in the sun. It was the Crown of the Duke Of Ilbur. It was, until that afternoon, when a group of peasant-turned-revolutionaries ambushed him and his bodyguards in the woods. Now it was Jacques'. The leader of the rebels, now had a crown. Jacques, brimming with pride of the day's events, wore the ornament and looked at his wife. "And you, Jillan, are my queen", said he. She smiled again - that mysterious smile that she had come to possess for the last two weeks. The smile which somehow, seemed to convey sorrow.

"I'm thirsty, we have to find water elsewhere. This well is dry" said Jacques, his mind drifting back to the current issues that parched his throat. "We have to talk" said Jillian slowly, as her left hand moved towards her hips. "Well, tell me" said Jacques, a bit surprised.

"Do you love me, Jacques?" she asked, without expression.

"What is this for now? You know I love you" he said, with a tinge of irritation, arising from both the question and his thirst. Jillian remained silent. Jacques sighed. He had been told that women, at this time, would have changing moods, and had to be cared for like children. He laid his palm on her bulging stomach. "On our child, I promise, I love you more than anything else in the world".

His pregnant wife though, at his utterance of those words, broke a tear and turned around, hiding her face from her husband, showing her tears to the horizon. She looked down, the side she faced was steep downhill. She brushed off her tears. Jacques, sensing her pain, "What is it, my love?".

My love. The words had meant so much to her before. Now, it was a shadow of a love that had once been true. Their romance was one that was celebrated by the villagers. They were considered the most perfect couple by the villagers - she was considered the most perfect match for their hero. And when Jacques had proposed to her, she, by saying yes, had not only become his woman, but had also been adopted by the villagers. And the villagers had grown to love her more than Jacques. She, in a way, had become the queen, the mistress, the mother of the village. The love from the villagers still remained. Her love for Jacques still remained. But Jacques...

"Where do you go at nights, Jacques?" she asked solemnly.

"What?"

"I know I have not been able to satisy you, my love. But it is only because of our piece-of-the-moon growing inside me. I never wanted to deprive you" she said. Her voice was flat, without expression. But the words were strong enough. Strong enough to plunge into the heart of the hero. The hero, whose heart could not be touched by the sword of The Duke Of Ilbur, was now hurt with guilt. He did love his wife, more than everything else. But certain other emotions, he possessed. Ones that originated not from heart, but from hormones. He had succumbed to them. And now, he stood, without an answer, embarassed. She had found out.

As he stood, staring, impaired of speech, she continued in her flat tone "Remember, when we were lovers" she paused "you said once, that you would kill me, and then kill yourself if I would cheat on you. You made a joke, ofcourse. But I know you meant it" The colour had drained off Jacques' face. "What are you going to do now, my love?" she asked, staring down again, at the steep fall below again. Silence. And then, as she watched down, Jacques flung himself, off the steep side of the hill, she saw him fall through trees, and bounce off rocks, breaking his new-found ornament as he fell to his death. She did not yell. She did not scream. She knew he would do it. It was not suicide. She had killed him. She had killed him for adultery. Like he said he would. And now, she had the second part of the deal to complete. She took a deep breath, and flung herself and her piece-of-the-moon, behind the man she loved.

What remained was the legacy of their love. The villagers sung ballads in praise of them. The ballads reached far and wide. And even time, though it has been able to change the names and forms, has not been able to erase their legacy. And even today, the children say,

Jack & Jill Went Up The Hill,
To Fetch A Pail Of Water,
Jack Fell Down And Broke His Crown
And Jill Came Tumbling After
_________________




The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Author Message
Emperor
Citizen



Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Topics: 29
Posts: 471
Location: San Diego, CA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Like you said I'm not sure if this fits here, unless of course your brother took some real life situation or thought processes and put this creative bend on it. With that said you should tell you brother that is very well written and that there it pulls on the reader very powerfully. I really liked the concept of taking a simple nursery rhyme and putting this much more deeper view to it. I don't know if you brother already knew this but it is said that the original Jack and Jill is about King Louis XVI and Queen Marie Antoinette who were beheaded. Thank you for sharing this.
_________________
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. - Baltasar Gracian
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic   printer-friendly view    Storygames Home -> The City! All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2
Page 2 of 2
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group. Forum design by mtechnik, customized by City of IF
All site content © City of IF or the respective storygame authors.   Terms of use
Home   Book   Storygames   FAQ   Greek myth   About   Policies