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Worms of the Wasteland, Ch. 12: Final Execution
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Lebrenth
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:06 am    Post subject: Worms of the Wasteland, Ch. 12: Final Execution Reply with quote

Introduction

Bardo was the worst. Of all the people I could have been partnered with, I would have picked anyone but him. It was difficult watching the vast empty wasteland day after day when a lush green paradise lay only a few yards behind you. It was insufferable with such a foolish, annoying, smelly, ignorant, lazy, disloyal, conniving, clumsy, greedy shirker like Bardo as a companion. Regardless of which rotation it was supposed to be, he was only ever awake at night, and at night he spent all of his time keeping me awake asking stupid questions and telling bad jokes; consuming most of our food and water; dropping different things out of the tower; and often I would wake up in the morning and find he had wandered off. The one useful thing he ever tried to do was teach himself how to read, but listening to him try to read out loud was possibly the worst thing of all. I can't count the hours I spent trying to tell myself not to burn his book while he snored through the day.

It was my duty to watch the wastes from our tower and to be vigilant regardless of the hardships. The kingdom depended on us to uphold our responsibilities completely on our own. But I am ashamed to admit I did things that were forbidden. Sometimes I would leave the tower unmanned to enjoy the splendor of the forest, if only to regain my sanity for a brief while. Sometimes I would spend hours blissfully napping beside a cool stream with my belly full of fruit, and I could restore my strength enough to put up with Bardo for one more week. It was during one of these moments of peace that the crisis began, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself.


Last edited by Lebrenth on Thu Aug 07, 2014 12:47 pm; edited 30 times in total
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:03 pm    Post subject: Chapter One: One Moment of Negligence Reply with quote

Chapter One: One Moment of Negligence

As much as I hated Bardo, I had to admit he was handy with rope. I found a hammock he made in the forest, and I enjoyed the dappled sunlight on my face and arms and the slight swinging that came from the wind through the trees. I could have slept another hour, but I awoke because of an unusually hot breeze. There were little grains of sand scattered on me and throughout the area. I came out of my daze and started to recognize what was happening. I could not see the tower any more, and in its place there was a line of smoke. I fell over myself getting out of the hammock and forgot to pick up my shoes as I ran to see the horror I knew was waiting for me. I broke through the trees and there it was.

The collapsed tower burned furiously. I rushed into the open to try to find Bardo before I realized there were enormous tracks all around. The Great Worms had come at last. I looked around fearfully, for this worm would surely kill me if it came near, but the worm had already passed. However, in the distance I saw large dust clouds and the heads of the worms that would follow the one that destroyed my tower. There would not be much time for any of us.

I knew that if Bardo was in the wreckage he must be dead, but I had to check. The flames leaping from between the stones were still as hot as dragon fire, and I could not even get close. Nonetheless, I could see Bardo's hand amongst the wreckage. I had no doubt he died before he even knew what was happening. Surely he didn't have time to raise the alarm either and now it was too late.

I felt the weight of the kingdom fall upon me at that moment. It was everything I could do to pull myself away. The Great Worm burned a black trail through the beautiful green landscape. If this landscape were a painting, it would have been a masterpiece, but now with the horrible black streak through it, it was ruined. This was only the beginning of the devastation. Already the wastelands were reclaiming the green paradise. The leaves and grasses wilted and the sand inched its way across the dark brown soil, swallowing it. The worm itself would work even more quickly. In a single day it could kill thousands of people.

I may have failed to raise the alarm when it was my charge to watch vigilantly, but I still lived. The worm had only a short head start and there was still time to prevent a massacre. I ran and found the horses. They were both spooked and fighting to escape but fortunately they were hobbled for this very reason. I would go over land and raise the alarm and let nothing stop me.

I had three directions to choose from:

    I could ride out of my way to the next watchtower and raise the alarm, if they hadn't already.
    I could try to stay ahead of the worm and warn anyone on my path to seek shelter.
    Or I could ride directly to Founder's Fortress, where our military forces were garrisoned.


Each choice had its strengths and weaknesses. The watchtower was closer than the nearest village, and the village much closer than the fortress. If I went to the watchtower, I may raise the alarm sooner and alert the kingdom faster, but the village would be destroyed by then and I'd be that much farther from the fortress where I could help defend the kingdom. If I stayed with the worm, I might succumb to it before warning anyone, but if I survived, the villagers would hopefully be saved and I could get their help. The safest route for me was also the longest. Ultimately Founder's Fortress was our best hope of salvation. There were mighty warriors there that could slay the worms and return our kingdom to peace, but I did not wish to imagine the horrors that would begin well before they arrived.

I had little time for decisions. I had to go immediately.

DP: Which direction? The options for this decision will be provided without suggestions, but that may change in the future.


Last edited by Lebrenth on Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:56 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liking this, Lebby! Smile


I've voted for the watchtower, despite the likely loss of the village and it's people. As harsh as it may seem, I guess that sacrifices must be made for the greater good. I dismissed the village route immediately actually, and was choosing between the other two. I figured that whichever one I chose, the village would be lost anyway. But I decided on the watchtower, to get the word out to everyone, as at least that way we stand the most chance of making sure that more others might be saved.

And I also see that it's the popular choice. Wink


Looking forward to chapter 2, Lebs!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it! Especially since it has great worms like in Dune. But no user suggestions for the DP?

Anyways, I chose to go straight to the fortress and warn the army.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muaddib wrote:
I like it! Especially since it has great worms like in Dune. But no user suggestions for the DP?


Ah yes, it makes sense you would like that, Muaddib. It's been a while since you've been in one of my SG's and I'm happy to see you! Don't worry, my DP's usually take suggestions, I just felt this one could use a push. In fact, I'm planning on moving into Meta DP's in the next one to try it out.

Tikanni, nice to see you too. Thanks for the encouragement. I'm surprised to see so many votes already!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ì voted for the distant founders fortress, on the assumption that another tower would signal.

It's a bit of a guess though, as we don't know what they were supposed to do if they saw a worm. I assume they'd have to alert someone, in which case the next tower may do that. If not, get a message to whomever they were supposed to.

Nice start Lebs. Good to see another Speed SGame.

As mod here, I'll be keeping a close eye on your chapter timing! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I appreciate that it was to the point. I'm not saying every story has to be straightforward, direct, but sometime it's refreshing to read a story that doesn't beat around the bush.

Guy abandons post,
Worms come in,
Worms bad,
Where to go to stop them!?

It has an air of finality to it. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to a speed read!

PS. I voted for the watchtower. I figured that was the quickest, safest route that would save the most lives. He can join up with the people there as well as spread the words around as quickly as possible.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll admit, the pre-chosen DP is a bit unusual- but then, so are speed storygames. I appreciated the different approach. You don't have to wait for the comments to slowly pour in as people start to suggest the obvious options- you can go straight to the poll. What you lose in out-from-left-field creative options you make up for in speed and simplicity.

I'm a little curious what he could have done if he had been there to sound the alarm... the main army is far away, and it seems the worms are capable of doing a lot of desertification very quickly. Still, heading to the village seems to me like it's little more than "Hey guys, you're all about to die", and heading to the main army is more or less "Hey guys, there's a bunch of destruction on the forest's edge. I would have told you sooner, but I was slacking and felt the need to tell you in person." If nothing else, if/when he meets up with the main army later, he can meet up with them halfway, instead of going all the way to them and then back to the threat.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll Results:

Which direction does the hero go?
The nearest watchtower [ 4 ]
The nearest village on the worm's path [ 0 ]
The distant Founder's Fortress [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Chinaren, Crunchyfrog, Muaddib, Shillelagh, Tavanesh, Tikanni Corazon

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:24 pm    Post subject: Chapter Two: Wasteland Sand Reply with quote

Chapter Two: Wasteland Sand

A wall of furious sand swept westward toward me as I kicked my horse to run faster. I had seen larger sandstorms before, but this was more terrifying because it answered to the Great Worms. We traveled the outskirts of paradise for some protection from the heat and stinging wind, but it offered little protection now. The magic of our land was weakened by the presence of the worms. Until they were gone, we would slowly lose everything.

I covered my face with a handkerchief before the sandstorm turned day to night. The horses, which had been kept in the gentle climate of the green paradise their whole lives, struggled with the harsh wasteland air and were frightened even more by the blinding sand. I just pushed them harder and watched out ahead for the trees that appeared out of nowhere, stripped of their leaves and snapping their branches against the storm.

Suddenly, the horse fell out from underneath me and I was thrown from the saddle when we somehow managed to overlook an entire pond. At first it was nothing more than startling and cold, as the water cushioned my fall, but after pulling the horses out and getting up to go again, I realized I had completely lost my sense of direction. Even our own footprints were lost, which would have at least told me which way we had come from. I could not recognize any of the landscape, and in fact, even if the tower were 40 feet ahead of me, I could not see it.

Surely the tower had to be close, but if I were to find it, I would have to go directly to it without seeing it from any distance. As I continued, using the direction of the wind as my only gauge, something came dimly into view. I knew it could be just about anything. I wouldn't know what it was until it was close enough to spit on.

DP: What appears out of the sand?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm always so impressed with chapters that pack loads into such a short length. This is one such chapter, and I very much enjoyed it! Smile


Okay, what could it be?... I suppose one of the most exciting options would be if it was a worm, but wouldn't that just be too cruel? I'm going to say that its a small mass of people from an already devestated village, who are heading to the same place we are. The shape itself could be some kind of shelter, where we could go inside to try and get our bearings, and possibly ask if the people inside know the right direction in which to go, so that we at least have a vague heading when we set out again.


Looking forward to part 3 Lebs!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Tikanni, this is a great example of what a Speed SG chapter should look like. I also appreciate the lack of an information dump. I've always found that the best SGs follow only a single character's movements.

As for the DP, I suggest that a ancient, previously lost but now uncovered tower appears out of the sands. It has fantastical carvings and images on its facade which have remained intact despite the winds and the sand.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good one!

I say it's an old building, where bandits (or some other hostile) is sheltering.

Can't make life too easy now can we?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm, well, if I were to choose something different than everyone else so far-

Maybe it's a sand creature that has a parasitic relationship to the worms. It follows them around because it needs the sand to survive (and therefore can not enter the human territories until the worms clear a path) and feeds off of the left over wreckage further reducing the landscape into a desolate wasteland. It could want the horse as nourishment?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This ought to be really interesting. Unless I'm forgetting something, I think this is the very first Meta DP SG I've ever attempted in the years I've been in the city.... I suppose I can't let the suggestion phase go on too long, so maybe another day and then we're going to vote.... Wow.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:45 pm    Post subject: Now Polling Reply with quote

Poll beginning now and ending soon.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This impresses me on a great many levels, not the least of which being the way you're able to keep the chapters so short yet fulfilling!

Loving it so far and looking forward to more. The whole feel of playing the guy that fell asleep on the job... great premise!
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually ended up voting for a den of thieves. I want an action sequence!
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went for the refugees. Who says I don't have a heart?
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:15 am    Post subject: DP closed Reply with quote

DP Results:

What appears out of the sand?
a great worm [ 0 ]
helpful refugees [ 3 ]
an ancient lost tower [ 1 ]
a den of thieves [ 2 ]
a hungry wasteland parasite [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 7
Who Voted: Chinaren, LordoftheNight, Muaddib, Shillelagh, Tavanesh, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:45 am    Post subject: Chapter 3: Strange Refugees Reply with quote

Chapter 3: Strange Refugees

I was greatly relieved to see the shape I approached was not a great worm, but I don’t blame myself for being deceived because what I saw was remarkably worm-like. It seemed to be a very long and winding tent. I could see some light through tears in the material, but I could not make out anything within. I approached the tent as quickly as I could with the horses fighting me the whole way. They didn’t like the look, or maybe the smell, of the tent one bit. It stank like fish guts, not that it made any difference to me at the time, and though it was very strange, I was not afraid.

When I was convinced that my eyes weren’t deceiving me, I realized the tent was moving like a worm too. I was very close to it, and I could see the shoes in a few places, moving steadily. The tent was being carried.

“Hello?” I spoke.

“Hello!” someone replied, and he spoke other words too, but I could not understand him. The side of the tent was lifted before me, and I saw several wastelanders holding up the tent and beckoning me in urgently. It took several minutes and 50 yards of pulling and hurrying to get inside. “Welcome, welcome!”

“What is this?”

The wastelander did not speak my language, save a few words. The next thing he said made no sense to me, and I’m certain he couldn’t understand what I tried to say. The horses were a little calmer out of the storm but they were still frightened. The swarthy man that welcomed me was now much farther ahead, and the others were passing by quickly, saying “welcome” in a thick accent or other words I didn’t recognize at all.

From my tower, sometimes I would see the wastelanders at a distance and I heard they could be traded with, but for some reason they preferred the wasteland to the green paradise, which I never understood. What were they doing here now in this strange thing?

Not all of these people carried the tent, many walked briskly along with it. They found it difficult to get around me and my two horses. Two of them, a man and woman, took the reins from me before I realized what they were doing. They urged me forward with them, but the horses were still fighting us. The woman handed the man the reins and unwrapped the cloth around her neck. She blindfolded the horse, but had to hold the wrap there. Another stranger came forward and helped blindfold the other horse. This worked well, actually. The horses stopped fighting and kept pace, even when the direction we went turned fairly sharply.

I had no idea what was happening. Some of the people seemed very happy while others were crying. They talked to each other in their own tongue and looked and pointed at me as the subject of the conversation. As good as it was to be out of the storm, this would not help me warn the kingdom, so I tried to leave, but they held me back and refused to give back the horses. I would have drawn my knife perhaps, or become more insistent myself, but the way they refused me – the looks on their faces of sincere helpfulness – prevented me from trying too hard.

It was not long before someone came who could speak my language. She was a woman with green eyes and something different about her features from the other wastelanders. She spoke very well, without an accent at all, which immediately surprised me.

“You are welcome here. No one will hurt you or try to take your things, just try to keep up with us. My name is Mina.”

“I’m Tallus,” I replied, still keeping pace with the others as we trampled the grass buried under a layer of sand.

“It’s nice to meet you. Where are you from?” Mina said.

“Elden is where my home is, but I have spent the last few months at the Ammon Watchtower.”

“So this is the green paradise?”

“Yes, what’s left of it. The worms are destroying everything.... What is this thing?”

Mina explained that the tent was made from the hide of a great worm, and that its purpose was to hide them from the worms while they saved people who survived the attacks. At some point, everyone in this worm tent was a refugee, but now it was a nomadic home. They followed the worms and stopped briefly at destroyed villages to help people and to get supplies (and she stated very clearly that they took nothing by force). She told me that I could leave any time I liked, but they would be very glad if I stayed with them for a while. The horses could be very useful and they could use someone to help guide them.

“Thank you,” I replied, “but my first priority is to warn the kingdom that the worms have come. I need to get to another watchtower as quickly as possible.”

“Then perhaps we can help you. If you give us your horses, we will give you a hlathlu.”

“What’s a hlathlu?”

DP: What’s a hlathlu?
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm to say that a hlathlu is some sort of wiry ostrich-like bird in shape and stature, except that it is actually more of a lizard so that it can survive out in the desert. It is a tame creature which can be ridden just like a horse- and is actually a bit faster- but since it is so thin and fragile, it can't be used to pull anything heavy. He gets a riding mount, and they get something durable to pull their worm-wagons or whatever.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another great chapter! I love the little tidbits of world-building being incorporated in every chapter.

I say a hlathlu is a horse-sized, domesticated eagle.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pfah, everyone knows a Hlathlu is a large hairy spider that can be saddled like a horse. It's very fast over short distances, but then tends to want to feed on something living.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find it a bit interesting that we're only suggesting creatures for this DP. So, If have two other ideas.

A hlathlu is a magic belt which allows you to run very, very fast for a short period of time. We'll be able to reach the fortress in no time!

A hlathlu is a crown which lets you send an astral projection of yourself to any location you've ever been before- we can use this to warn the kingdom while still staying with these nomads.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:26 am    Post subject: Polling begins Reply with quote

The poll is up! Thanks everyone for your suggestions. Very amusing, especially the spider that has to refuel itself by killing something, even though that would make things very complicated (I think that's what makes it so interesting to me).

Shillelagh, I'm glad you noticed that Mina didn't say anything about it being a mountable creature. I think everyone (hey, me too) imagined some kind of strange creature when the name was mentioned, but a big part of the creative process is exploring ideas beyond the first thing that comes to mind.

Just curious, what was the first thing that came to everyone's mind when they read the word "hlathlu"? I think I imagined something like a two-legged dragon with no wings except for ornamental ones around the head.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure there's another vote here somewhere.... If not, I guess I'll break the tie myself. By the way, what do we think of the new WotW banner? I liked Chinaren's smaller animated banners, so I thought I would try my hand at one myself.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, there was. I was hoping on waiting to see if anyone else would chime in on one of my options, but in the interest of breaking a tie, I choose this one. I feel like it will give the story a much more interesting spin to it.

Honestly, when I first read hlathlu, my thoughts went to some sort of primitive piercing or slashing weapon, because of its similarities to an atlatl. Both words are filled with odd syllables, and the mind sort of comes to a halt and breaks down the word into syllables when you first see it.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:01 am    Post subject: Chapter 4: It's a spider Reply with quote

Chapter 4: It's a Spider.

Riding a hlathlu, for anyone who is wondering, requires the calm and confidence that only comes from strong liquor. Unfortunately, I had to be satisfied with 'scared stupid'. When Mina first explained that it was a large hairy spider I began to protest, but she put her hand on my mouth and I suddenly lost my voice. Not literally, of course, but from that point on, I listened very carefully to everything she said. When I saw the hlathlu itself, I put on a brave face and mounted it immediately, trying to convince her that I was bold and unafraid. The spider jerked around under me, but not because it was frightened. All of its movements were sudden.

At this point, all of my blood was coagulating in my bare feet and I felt a little numb. Mina guided my hands to the right places to hold (on the spider) and instructed me on every important detail about riding and taking care of the spider. I would have liked a little more elaboration on the part where she said I must "never act like food." The hlathlu would want to feed as often as it could, but I had to make certain it did not become bloated or else it would want to mate.

The last thing she told me about probably should have been mentioned first. The hlathlu was trained not to eat things with a certain smell on it. The smell came from an herb that I never heard of before. It has a distinct spicy sweetness about it which actually smelled delicious to me. Mina pulled me down from the spider in order to wrap my head with a turban that carried the smell, and she smiled at me when she saw the final result.

Predicting that I would soon be dead riding an edgy giant spider, or at least feeling I would never see Mina again, I kissed her lips deeply. The kiss ended with a sharp slap.

"I'm married," Mina said and folded her arms.

"Then I'm sorry you liked it," I responded.

I mounted again quickly to make my getaway. Perhaps I should have asked to feed the hlathlu before leaving, but then I wouldn't have found the watchtower so quickly. Another concerned worm dweller handed me a compass and (I think) wished me luck. They lifted the side of the worm again, and we launched back into the storm.

The hlathlu ran at a good brisk pace, but it soared over hills and trees when it jumped, which it did often. It almost lost its rider the first time, but after that I became accustomed to it and understood why I had to lay down while riding. I was still trying to decide which way I should begin my search when the spider found a small stable with two hobbled horses.

The hlathlu instantly seized the first horse and was draining its blood before I could say "Whoa!" It took a lot of coercion to keep the second horse alive, but eventually the spider heeded my commands and let it be. The watchtower was very close, though I had to do more searching. Somehow it was better when we left the green paradise and we were in the proper wasteland. It just made more sense to have a sandstorm here.

The spider climbed the wall of the tower easily, and I can only imagine what the lookouts within were thinking when I knocked on the shutters and called them to open up. Warily, my friend Samar opened the shutter and saw me, wearing a turban and riding a giant spider. Samar would have been a much better companion than Bardo, I think to myself. None of this would have happened if it weren't for Bardo.

"Send the warning. I have seen the great worms and they are coming," I said. He ran back to the blue gem hovering and spinning in place within the tower. He halted it, then threw his arm to make it spin as fast as he could make it going the other way. A light grew within the gem which became blinding. In another moment a streak of lightning tore the troubled air and arced toward the capitol. The blue light continued to glow, as it should, but the warning has finally been sent.

"Did you not see any worms?" I asked Samar.

"No, I haven't seen anything since the sandstorm started."

"The worms brought the sandstorm," I replied grimly. Samar had no immediate response.

"What do we do?" he said at last.

DP: What direction does the story take from here? Does the protagonist try to go to the Founder's Fortress as mentioned before? Does he rejoin the worm dwellers, or maybe abandon the green paradise to search for a new home? Maybe the hlathlu drags the protagonist against his will to a spider queen, or a worm my appear suddenly and politely ask directions to the nearest major city.... Go ahead, people. Go nuts.


Last edited by Lebrenth on Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Previous poll results for chapter 3:

What is a hlathlu?
An ostrich-like lizard [ 0 ]
A horse-sized eagle [ 1 ]
A large hairy (and hungry) spider [ 2 ]
A magic belt that enables very, very fast running [ 0 ]
A magic crown that astrally projects to any previously explored location [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Chinaren, Muaddib, Shillelagh

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I really really like this story.

Meta Dp. Hmm. I'd say that Samar was already killed and eaten by worms, and the person we're seeing is actually a new specie of worm that can transfigure itself to look like anything it wants to.

Nothing immediate can be done with that, but I want to see what'd happen if the story moves in that dierection
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another good pithy chapter!

Quote:
all of my blood was coagulating in my bare feet
I'm not too sure about this phrase though. I think maybe you meant that the blood was collecting in the feet? Coagulation is when a liquid thickens.

The hlathlu is a bit erratic. I say he chases after the worm and attacks it, while the protagonist tries in vain to control it.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muaddib wrote:
I'm not too sure about this phrase though. I think maybe you meant that the blood was collecting in the feet? Coagulation is when a liquid thickens.


Thank you for the suggestion. I did not mean that phrase literally, it was intended to be metaphorical (you know, like "my blood froze when I saw the monster"). Maybe the term "coagulated" sounds too technical and descriptive to be thought of as a metaphor, but I thought it did it's job nicely. The blood collecting in his feet made his feet feel like jelly.

Vishal, I could definitely work with that DP suggestion. I'm good with subtlety (if I do say so myself).

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, a completely open MetaDP. I mean, the others were meta too... but this one is completely open, with no restrictions. Given how often Lebby speaks out about this sort of thing, I feel obligated to abuse my power as a reader to suggest as many dumb and absurd things as possible. Which might make polling problematic... so I invite Lebby to ignore any these suggestions when making the poll.

-The hlathlu starts to eat Samar and the other posted guards.
-The hlathlu starts to eat the beacon system's power.
-The hlathlu starts to eat the protagonist.
-The hlathlu reveals that it is a sentient being, and begins to speak with a british accent.
-The hlathlu reveals that is is an alien, and takes the protagonist back to its home planet.
-The hlathlu spontaneously combusts.
-The protagonist spontaneously combusts.
-Samar spontaneously combusts.
-Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him exiled.
-Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him deaead.
-Samar blames the hlathlu for the worms, but is eaten by it.
-Samar blames the state of the kingdom on the removal of religion from schools.
-Samar can't deny his hidden love for the protagonist any longer.
-Samar can't deny his hidden love for hostess snack cakes.
-Samar can't believe that it's not butter.
-The protagonist heads toward the Founder's Fortress.
-The protagonist heads back to Mina and the nomads.
-The protagonist heads to Duluth, Minnesota.
-The protagonist heads back to the destroyed tower to bury Bardo, only to discover that the body is missing.
-The protagonist is suffering from post-traumatic stress- Bardo didn't die when the worms attacked...
-The protagonist is suffering from multiple personality disorder- he is Bardo.
-The protagonist is suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder- he starts brushing the hlathlu's fur.
-The protagonist is suffering from amnesia.
-The narration shifts to the people receiving the warning beacon's signal.
-The narration shifts to the villain responsible for unleashing the worms.
-The narration shifts to Princess Pteraphynae, whose destiny is a key part of this story.
-The narration shifts to an ASCII drawing of a puppy.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great chapter.

I say the spider tries to lay eggs in them, maybe even does! That could prove an intersting twist.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shillelagh wrote:
Wow, a completely open MetaDP. I mean, the others were meta too... but this one is completely open, with no restrictions. Given how often Lebby speaks out about this sort of thing, I feel obligated to abuse my power as a reader to suggest as many dumb and absurd things as possible. Which might make polling problematic... so I invite Lebby to ignore any these suggestions when making the poll.


I suppose I deserved that. Still, I wanted to give the whole "Go nuts" thing a try. Apparently I was right to rant against it earlier. Wink
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^_^ I simply could not resist making that list. At least there are some legitimate DP options along with all of the completely idiotic ones. Admittedly, some of them would require the story to make an abrupt genre shift... but considering all of his guilt over Bardo and abandoning his post... I think "Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him exiled" could be really interesting. If you must ignore the list, at least keep that one. Although I really think you're missing out on all of the wondrous events that could happen in "The protagonist heads to Duluth, Minnesota." That's an action-packed DP if I ever saw one... Razz
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must admit... I'm going to be very temped by "I can't believe its not butter..." as a poll option.

Great story so far, Lebs!

I think he needs to do reconnaissance now to figure out where the worms are, how many there are and get an idea of where they are headed. The spider should help a lot with that (great choice y'all btw!)
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:44 pm    Post subject: Worm Polling Reply with quote

Five poll options available, two to three days of polling days left. Sorry for the "them" being kind of ambiguous in the third option. It occurred to me when I re-read Chinaren's post that I wasn't sure if he meant the spiders lays eggs in the people or the worms.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 3:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Worm Polling Reply with quote

Lebrenth wrote:
Five poll options available, two to three days of polling days left. Sorry for the "them" being kind of ambiguous in the third option. It occurred to me when I re-read Chinaren's post that I wasn't sure if he meant the spiders lays eggs in the people or the worms.


I meant these two tower people. But of course, they could lay eggs in anything, though the worm skin may be a bit thick to get through.
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