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Smile for the Camera - Prologue now live!

 
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misterbiz
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 10:20 pm    Post subject: Smile for the Camera - Prologue now live! Reply with quote

“Excuse me, Mr. Dorian,” a voice called. Jonathan Dorian, or The Director as he preferred to be called, glanced up from his book to the shadows that sat in front of him. He knew that somewhere within the blackness there was the door that the owner of the voice stood behind. With a sigh, he reached under the table his feet were resting on and flipped a switch. There was a loud buzzing sound before the door hidden in the shadow flew open. Standing on the other side, were two tall men with gray hair and gray suits. Everything about them seemed grey. The pair of men hesitated for a moment before stepping foot into the dark. Mr. Dorian flipped the switch again and the door slammed shut. The pair moved to the table and took a seat. Seats that they had sat in many times before.

“Mr. Dorian, we…”

“Wait a tic,” Mr. Dorian said, holding up a finger. “I’m reading. Just a moment.”

He started humming a tune as he continued to read the fantasy novel in his grasp. The Gray Twins exchanged irritated glances. Mr. Dorian paid them no mind though. He just continued to read. This was a dance that the three had done many times before. Mr. Dorian would call The Gray Twins, they would come over to his apartment office and sit in the dark under the sole shining light like they were in a noir interrogation scene, he would make his pitch, they would not-too-politely turn him down and leave and repeat. It was the same thing every time. Except for this time. This time they would hear him out. There was no way that they were going to turn him down. Not now.

After a couple minutes, Mr. Dorian dropped his feet off of the table and sat up. He sat the book down and smiled wide at his guests. He was in his early thirties and dressed in a lime green suit. He had a head of crimson hair that hung straight back in a waterfall to his shoulders. A pair of gray eyes shone behind a square pair of eyeglasses. There was something about him that always set The Gray Twins on edge. It was something about his eyes, his smile, his demeanor. There was something about him that they just didn’t like.

“See this?’ he said, holding up his book. “Line of Kavanagh. It is absolutely fantastic. That Henschen really knows how to craft a tale. She is perfect. I’m actually jealous. I can only dream about being this good. I won’t ever come close but I am on the right track now. Trust me. Just hear me out.”

“We always do,” Twin Number One said. “Look, Mr. Dorian. I’m sorry but I really doubt whether or not we’ll be able to have a working relationship. This is what the twelfth pitch we’ve taken from you?”

“Thirteen,” Number Two chimed in. “And after this, I’m afraid we aren’t going to be able to take your calls anymore. For the last time, all of your ideas just aren’t big enough to get an audience. Slasher flicks are on the way out. They were cool and everything in the Eighties but you have to get with the times. No one wants to see a bunch of stupid teenagers running around suburbia, or the woods, being chased by a psycho with a machete or kitchen knife or chainsaw. Its come and it's gone. You should really just move on.”

“No,” Mr. Dorian snapped, slamming the book down on the table. He followed it up by slamming his palm on the steel as well. “No. They are not on the way out. Film elitist snobs like you and all the critics dumb down the genre. you tell people that they are pointless. you make every other horror but slashers and then say that nobody wants it. It isn’t made an option. Because bigwigs like you have stated you don’t like them, so you do your best to take them out of circulation just to screw guys like me out of the genre we love.”

“Mr. Dorian,” Number One said. “Will you please calm down and just tell us what film idea you have? No promises. Just know that our studio is still not interested in funding the making of a horror movie. With that in mind, go ahead.”

“That’s just it,” he said. “I already had the movie made. I went to a couple people and asked for some funding. I built a set, found some actors and filmed it all. I just want distribution. While I could do it myself, you guys are much more equipped for it. And if you like it, you could remake it, you’ll see. It’s amazing. First of all, there are no dumb teenagers in the woods. It is smart, average adults running through a concrete labyrinth doing their best to stay alive. Huh?”

“No dumb teenagers?”

“No. Picture this alright. We have a former Olympic gymnast and her half-brother who has recently immigrated from Syria, a community college student, a redneck, a community theatre actor who works as a barista and a busboy so that he can look after his younger twin brothers, a male model, and a punk rock musician. See, I’ve taken some horror tropes and flipped them. I’m taking the heart of a slasher flick and making it new. You see these six strangers have been kidnapped by an unseen force and are forced to run from his fiendish henchman.”

The Gray Twins looked at each other and back to Mr. Dorian. For once there was a different look on their face. They were interested. At the very least, they felt the urge to hear more. That was good. It was just as he had planned. They were listening to him. They were starting to take him seriously. His grin became almost cartoonlike. It was brilliant. Finally, he was getting somewhere.

“Tell us about the villain.”

“Oh no. Spoilers, gentleman. You want more? You have to watch it. I have it loaded up on a dvd back here. You watch it and tell me what you think. That is the only way you will know what happens in it. What do you say, guys?”

“Alright,” Number Two said. “Just give us the DVD. We’ll go back to the office and give you a call in the next few days.”

“No. You’ll take it, never watch it, call me and say no. You are going to sit there and watch it in front of me so I know that you’ve seen it.”

“Fine,” Number One sighed. “Let’s see it.”

Mr. Dorian clapped and moved from his seat into some of the surrounding darkness. he placed a portable DVD player in front of the two gentleman and pushed a button. He took a seat and leaned back, watching their expressions. Mr. Dorian had to resist from laughing. This was the best day he had in awhile. The execs were finally watching his movie. He was finally on his way to being a household name. It was showtime.
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Andolyn
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm actually really excited about this. Thanks for the nod, btw. Haha!! You should know that I'll never be able to write horror like you, though. Wink

That said, I'm not sure how I feel about our psycho man liking me...I suppose I'll have to keep cranking out the stories to keep him from being toooo interested in me personally. hahaha! I'd rather not be in the next film. XD
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very intriguing, biz! I like the premise and I can't wait to see where it goes. The cast of characters seem colorful, too, and I'm excited to get to learn about them. Dorian also amuses me very much :3
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2015 12:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked Dorian's first line - spoke loads about his personality, straight away. I

Also, I liked the stark contrast between the colours of Dorian, and the greyness of the twins. The only criticism I have is that you stopped the scene to describe Dorian and then continued again, but other than that, it's an intriguing start, and I'm ready for the first chapter.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2015 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is an excellent start to something I'm most definitely interested in reading! I, for one like slasher flicks. And to see that there's a movie, with adults that's a slasher?! Interest piqued!

Aside from that, I enjoyed the interaction between the Grey twins and Dorian. Dorian seems like someone I'll enjoy reading about where as the twins . . well they seem like they're a bit stiff in their character (personalities, not character I think), not stiff as in lacking (if that made any sense).

I'm excited to see where this goes! Keep it up!
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A good start here.

Quote:
Everything about them seemed grey. The pair of men hesitated for a moment before stepping foot into the dark.


I liked this line very much. It reminded me of a description from one of my favorite books.

Quote:
Mr. Dorian would call The Gray Twins, they would come over to his apartment office and sit in the dark under the sole shining light like they were in a noir interrogation scene


The scene set up is very nice here. In just one sentence you are able to paint a concrete and vivid set.

Quote:
Film elitist snobs like you and all the critics dumb down the genre


A personal pet peeve of mine as well.

Quote:
He took a seat and leaned back, watching their expressions. Mr. Dorian had to resist from laughing


Why do I get the feeling he is going to show them more than just his new film?
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