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Cyberworm
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:28 pm    Post subject: Slit and Slide Reply with quote

Alright peoples, this is my second SG ever, so be gentle. Very Happy

WARNING: LANGUAGE AND IMPLICATIONS OF GORE. (No actual descriptions present, though.)

-------------

„I’m sorry, Gerald. There is literally nothing we can do, the scene of the cr... event, went cold months ago. I don’t know how to say it, but...“

„It’s alright, Hank. Thanks.“

With a broken smile to match my heart, I left the precinct and sat on the bench that adorned the sidewalk next to it. Everything so clean, slick and mostly white.

My head was filled with white noise in tune with my surroundings. I know she wouldn’t just... discard herself. I lost her.

I lost her.

That’s what hurts me the most, I admit. She was my life these past years. I gave her everything, and then she just vanishes one day, and we get a decapitated body the next.

The city hasn’t seen such an event since seven years ago in 1938. Thankfully, the events of the past wars just settled down. But...

In the face of recuperating from the worldwide tragedy, a tragedy of an equal scale hit me. It shook and took my world away.

She died. I saw the body. Not the head, but... I know her body, inch by inch, insid...

I get sick and throw up in the trash can across the bench. I reassure the elderly woman next to me that I am fine and bring myself to sit back on the bench.

Fuck them. I died with her and this dead man walking needs answers if it’s the last thing I do before kicking the bucket myself.

‚Why’, you ask,’am I revolted?’ Let me tell you a short, bitter story.

---

1943, a year of dreams reigniting after the two world wars. I, myself am 27 years old. My two loving parents named me Gerald, after some great man, who I really didn’t take after. Three flunked years before I finished law school. And two years after, I still wasn’t a lawyer, or a banker or anything that would’ve made my parents proud. They are gone now, passed away in their sleep, one after the other.

How did I live for two years after that? Well, I was a novelist. Admittedly, not a fantastic one yet, but I was getting there. I sold an occasional story, got involved with a few friendly police officers who shared their life stories with me, and I thanked them by giving them a part of the residual income I had from selling them.

And yes, I was, and still am, way too honest and fair for my own good. That’s what she told me when I met her in 1943, in a „Macy’s Home Cookings“ on 3rd street. Close to the town core, she was a waitress extraordinaire with a fantastic smile and dreams alike.

But alas, it took me days and days of coming over to have her say anything other than „Your order, sir“ with that lovely smile of hers.

Apparently, she liked me from the first day I came over. And she thought I was out of her league. Can you imagine? Perfection incarnate telling you the exact same things you thought to yourself for months?

Yeah, we got together. A blissful two years.

1945, cue two months ago.

„Gerald Hollister?“

„Yes?“

An unfamiliar voice talking to me on the phone.

„We are sorry to inform you that...“

She was found decapitated. Or so they thought from her personal possessions found on her body. I was called to identify her. It was her.

Finely toned, womanly body that held me like a bandage holds a wound, tightly and lovingly.

I got sick back then too. Through tears I answered that it was her. I had to go out get some fresh air. I never was one for the blood, gore and morgues.

Cue two months later, here I am. I never gave up. They told me she was found next to a construction site that sat between her workplace and our home. A piece of aluminium sheets covering some woodwork fell from the heavy rain and it... Yes, her head. She ducked, apparently, and covered her head. Her beautiful arms were a mess.

They said it was an accident. But it was more of a mess than I myself was. I said to myself that I was perfectly sane and I would get to the bottom of it. I did.

But this wouldn’t be much of a report of all the things I saw and did unless I tried to make it sensible, right? Give me a moment.

We were at the part when I left the precinct of North Granstine, Illinois, sitting on a bench and puking again from remembering the scene. The next part was even more interesting.

There were a few things I could do. Hank, one of the officers I shared life stories with and one of the best men on the force told me there’s nothing they could officially do. That ruled the police out.

I went to the site of the crime dozens of times, but I could’ve still revisited it and recounted more closely the official version of the events.

Then there was also „Macy’s“, which I have been to a few times after, but never asked as much as I could have. I was sure they were as devastated by her loss as I was.

Her apartment... I occasionally went there, not to investigate, but to reminisce and cry my eyes out and puke from the heartache. I was such a wimp.

And yet there were even more options. I had the whole town to answer for what was done. Was it mafia? The smaller gangs? I didn’t know at the time, but I had divine inspiration that told me exactly where I should go.


-----

And the first DP. Which place does he go to? He did mention some possibilities, but as you can see, it's on the rocks and all the bets are still open. Fire away! (And again, be gentle please. Smile )
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Wed Nov 06, 2019 3:49 am; edited 4 times in total
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YAY CY!!! I'm so excited!! Loved the opening here. It's scattered and fractional, just like our distraught lover. I thought it was tragic and perfect. I got a little teary when he talked about knowing every inch of her body. Can't wait to see more!
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In honor of you writing an SG, I'mma follow along with it, but I will warn you this style of genre isn't my usual slice of cake.

That being said, I did find myself intrigued, drawn into to discover what had happened. I'm sure it makes sense considering the murder, but with how much he had talked her up, I was surprised to hear they'd only been together two years. Oddly, it makes him seem a little less credible, and I can't wait to see if something really did happen, or if it's all in his head, and we get to see a spiral of self-destruction.

As for the dp, let's go with spiral of self-destruction, and have him head to the nearest mafia-esqe hang out he can find to the site of 'the event'.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay! Thank you both for reading this, and trust me that it's not quite as it seems. It'll evolve rather rapidly. Unlike my other SG, this one will be more fluid.

So for now the suggestion is go to the mobsters. You want him to take suicide road, huh? Cutting my SG short? Razz Just kidding, I don't even know what he'll do.

Again, thank you for being so kind and reading this. (^_^)

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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:58 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooh, a Mystery! Great start.

I don't know if it was intentional, but the way you skipped over the gore description pretty much mirrors how someone that traumatised by an event like that might think - not bearing to even try and describe it - he's certainly not in his right mind still after the shock; he is still throwing up even daring to think about it.

So I think that whatever Gerald will do will be illogical and not well thought out because of his state of mind. I'm going out on a limb here, and assuming he doesn't have much money, since the narrative hints that he never really got a high paying job - at least not one that would have impressed his parents, so he'll likely not have the money to hire a private investigator.

He's too shocked to even talk to people properly about her death yet - since he hasn't really approached the people at Macy's.

So I think he'll do something reckless, like put an ad in the paper, asking for anyone who knows anything about said 'accident' to come forward.
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome aboard, Crunchy! Very Happy

Indeed, two months and he's still sick even thinking about it. And while not quite penniless, he's not rich either, just making by. But I do have to admit, your idea about the ad never came up to me. I was brainstorming by myself (in bad company xD) and looking at the possibilities, but this one I've most definitely missed. Very Happy

I'm giving this two more days to see if anyone else hops on the Slide train, and then the poll's up.

This is going to be quite a bit faster than my previous work. xD
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heya, Cy! Awesome new SG you have here. I like the narrating style a lot.

I'm really feeling Crunchy's newspaper ad suggestion, so I'm going to hop on that wagon for the dp.

I look forward to reading more :3
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for joining us, Sera! Very Happy

Thank you for your opinion, I personally also lean towards Crunchy's idea since it's both fitting and novel to me.

The poll is up! Will be up for 3 days, then off to write chapter 1. Very Happy
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did I just see Messy participate in this poll? *waves at Messy*
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yup, they were in the chat earlier :0

Also, curious to see this one keep going.
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I now have three SGames! "Mist in a Cave" Chapter 5 is in the works

"The Freedom of Magic" Just got its THIRD chapter up!

Hope you all find the time to read them Very Happy *goes off to look for an SG to read*

Note to self: The Elven Moon; Coin; SVI; Black Animals; Two Wolves; Angel Cat
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alas, chapter one is up! The poll results were as follows:

Where did I go? Don't forget...

To the mafia.
14% [ 1 ]
To the newspapers, to place an ad.
42% [ 3 ]
To the scene of the crime.
28% [ 2 ]
To "Macy's", her workplace.
14% [ 1 ]

Total Votes : 7
Who Voted: Andolyn, Crunchyfrog, kkdestiny, Mephistopheles, Novelest_Ninjagirl, Seraphi, Shadowraven

And now for the story. Hope you like it, and keep wondering! Wink

===<>===

CHAPTER 1 - THE REVERSE SEARCH METHOD


I’m looking across the street at a huge billboard sign reflecting and dispersing the golden sun rays at the same time. An advertising agency advertising itself and its services.

An ad... yes, that would work, I think. I searched extensively, but I was never the one searched for.

So now I go to the address posted on the billboard, 72 Downey St. and place an ad in the local newspaper, asking for information on my deceased love, particularly her untimely demise.

Turns out that the next few days the daily prints bring out quite a bit. Some relatives of hers that I never got to know offer me condolences through the phone, some random strangers that were also served by her in „Macy’s“... but nothing substantial.

Until.

„Gerald Hollister?“

„Yes?“

„From what I see you are inquiring into a certain woman’s death. I may not offer what you seek but I may offer you a way to get it. Get closure, get your life together... and possibly, get her back.“

„You... are criminally insane, sir, taunting me like that. She is dead, and has been for months, and there is no way of getting her back.“

„She might not come to you, but you might go to her. It’s a two-way street.“

„Sir... stop spouting nonsense. I can hear my own grief in my voice reverberating through the room, so surely you got what you wanted. Goodbye.“

„You’ll find me, when the time is right.“

I hang up. It’s too much. The man had impeccable wording but a notable thick accent. He sounded like a negro, accentuating the vowels and mixing up English pronunciation with American wording. A strange sounding fellow, but the strangest thing was him insisting on making it possible for me to recuperate from this. He said something else as well but I don’t recall the words. I might have even recalled the conversation wrong, but all I know is that the son of a bitch upset me. Infuriated me.

I flop on my sofa and think, letting out a long, long sigh and lighting a cigarette. I never got used to smoking, really. It was a reflex action I picked up from my father when he was stressed. I gulp a shot of whiskey and clear my throat.

There is a large mirror built into my closet door, which I open and reveal it to the world after quite a while.

The apparition in it looks at me with red, half-closed eyes, dark blue circles under them and cheek bones protruding. I lost weight, it seems. No wonder, since I rarely eat these days. Haven’t had any appetite ever since I realized I will never get a taste of her home cooking again.

I’m starting to wobble now. That wasn’t my first shot of whiskey today.

For a brief moment I have a sudden burst of the sense of smell, feeling the whiskey against the damaged flesh in my throat, iron-like smell mixing with the wafts of whiskey. Quite putrid and sickening.

I barely manage to aim at the bathroom sink, throwing up in mid-flight of reaching it.

„GOD DAMN IT ALL!“

I throw the whiskey bottle into the tub, having it burst into pieces.

I wash up my face and gargle some water, then re-enter my living room and...

The bottle of whiskey is on the table.

I look around. There is certainly nobody here. The window is closed, my door...

*click clack*

Locked still. I go back into the bathroom and see the pieces of the bottle still in the tub.

Dizziness strikes and my wobbly feet give out. With a heavy thud, I embrace the bathroom floor and its wonderful, cold tiles.

***

Suddenly, I jolt out of it. There is blood on the floor, but I am feeling fine. I must have... yes, my fingers leave my bloody temple and thick red liquid coats their tips. The sickness is now in trace amounts, though I still wobble a bit, and I’m not so repulsed by the sight of my own blood. I never really was, but now I can’t feel a thing of it. I look into the bathroom mirror, as dirty as it is, and see an equally dirty and also somewhat vacant looking reflection of me.

„Okay Gerald, breathe.“

I tell myself to breathe just to ground myself. I am here. I check the tub and see the whiskey bottle still shattered.

With a sigh of relief I exit the bathroom and turn left at the hallway to look into my living room which doubled as a bedroom. And as I look towards the couch I always slept and sat on...

Black and white, with a sepia overtone.

My room flashes and suddenly I’m in an unknown place. Well, it looks like my apartment, but it’s not. I see metal things on the counters next to the couch, and something flat and big on a sterile looking, metallic piece of furniture, I guess.

I step forward to inspect the room from up close, but another flash happens.

I’m back in my apartment.

Another long, long breath.

Whatever is happening, I’m sure it’s just an aftermath of the head injury I got. Though I do feel fine now. The flashes just jolted me a bit.

I turn around to walk into the bathroom, when suddenly a flash again.

I am looking at a door. It’s a rather plain, dirty door. I can see a bit more clearly now, it looks fragile, grey and manufactured without any care. Barely any human touch is visible on it except for a machine near it with some kind of slot and a display.

I turn my head to look right and there I see a washroom. I recognize the placement of the sink and toilet seat, and there is a shower similar to the one I have in the far corner to the right.

This is suspiciously like my own apartment. But it’s not. I step around to turn and I see that the flashes aren’t just flashes. Suddenly my own room appears in my vision, but also overlaps with the strange setting I’m in.

It feels as if there is a ball-like area that... I don’t know, align to? Somehow, it feels as if, just if, this thing is a window I get to peek through and see a different world. Which looks like my apartment.

Now my left vision is the strange area, and my right holds the familiar apartment. I compare the two for a moment.

I am surely going crazy. This is my apartment, but it looks like something Jules Verne would write about. There are machines all over the place, the couch looks more square than the round-edged one I have.

I can barely make out the scenery out the window. There are tall, grey buildings and equally grey skies, looking all metallic and unfamiliar. Could the similarity of the living spaces be just a coincidence?

Suddenly I hear a loud bang that shocks me out of alignment and I’m back in my place.

I quickly calm my breathing, now interested in what is happening on the other side.

I try to get it, focus, center it, there it is, just a bit... to the right...

And the strange place fills my vision completely. There is a person sitting on my couch. And now the other couch too. It’s the same figure overlapping on my vision of the couches, but it’s surely not in my apartment.

It’s a male, late twenties, with his back turned against me.

He’s on the phone that’s on the piece of furniture right next to the couch.

„Sorr... info... y...“

He’s hanging his head, occasionally rubbing his face and sobbing. There are some pills on the glass table in front of him, right next to... a bottle of whiskey. The same blue kind I drink.

He is sobbing profusely now.

„Sh... as... ev... thin...“

Sh... she? No...

„She w... e...ry..ing“

No no no no.

„She was everything to me!“

Not again...

A sudden surge of grief and internal pain fills my head and I collapse unceremoniously right on the spot. I get an urge to scream but no voice comes out. The grief clamps up my throat and my consciousness.

***

Another rude awakening, three bangs on wood.

I open my eyes, which were probably as bloodshoot as if I was a bar hound.

„Mr. Hollister?“

***

So my head was a greater mess than when we started it all off. Sure, I read science fiction on alternate realities, dimensions and whatnot. I was even suspecting I saw the future at that point. But a future with me and everything basically the same? And her death again?

I couldn’t bear the thought of it. That the same thing will happen again. Well, it could’ve been a different reality in which everything was misplaced in time so it happened to a different me.

It was still sad. Too sad to bear. Luckily, it turned out to be something very different, but all things in their proper time for revelation.

Now, at that time my head was scraped against the hallway wall, the carpet soaked up some of the blood though I got rid of it later anyway. The bathroom had a whiskey bottle in pieces and the whole place reeked of alcohol.

And there was a knock at the door. The voice was hazy, but alas it was a godsend.

===<>===

The DP is obvious. Who was at his door at that moment? Very Happy Let your imagination run wild.
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Wed Nov 06, 2019 3:33 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice! Okay, so I had a much harder time following this one than the prologue. There were quite a few typos, and the feel was just very scattered, overall. The scattered part might be what you were going for, though, and I just came off a con weekend, so I'm running a little slow. haha!

I did love it, though, once my mind caught up. The idea of an alternate, almost steampunk, universe is very intriguing. I'm interested to see where this goes.

For the dp, I'd say it's the man from the phone call at the door. Maybe he's got answers.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It might be that writing it in one go at 1 am at a streak of inspiration does wonders for the typos. xD

I'm glad you liked it, I'll pour more attention into it later this week and try to edit the typos and kinks out. Very Happy
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just some things that disrupted the flow for me, figured this might help you find em. Over all though, what's with the quotation marks that're like two commas? Is my computer bugging?

Quote:
He sounded like a negro, accentuating the vowels and mixing up English pronunciation with Amrican wording.


American, I presume?

Quote:
I look into the bathroom mirror, as dirty as it is, and see an equally dirty and also somewhat reflection of me.


Somewhat... what?

Quote:
So my head was a greater mess than when we started it all of.


Off. I make that mistake a lot too.


The few typos aside, it was an interesting read. I, personally, found myself detaching a little bit as I read about the other world. It wasn't compelling, it seemed impersonal and bland- but that may have been what you were going for. I am slightly curious as to what the mystery man was talking about with the 'two-way street'. As for the DP, I'm thinking it's... Someone from the ad agency. Just because.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoa. Wasn't expecting that! You did a good job of the confusion through his alcohol induced haze, and how the phasing back and forth started subtly, like with the whiskey bottle back on the table when it was smashed in the bath.

You started narrating in the present tense and then ended up narrating in the past tense - I'm not sure which you're settling with yet, but that in itself was a bit confusing, especially as your character is suspecting time anomalies.

Well who is at the door... I don't know. Could have been the guy on the phone? But that would be too easy.

His dead girlfriend? That would be too spooky.

I think it's an overprotective neighbour who's been smothering him too much with their generosity and kindness since the girl died, but right now (and I'm going with the word 'godsend' here) he's really grateful for someone to take care of him, and, well do whatever he asks.

Great twist, and although there are some kinks that need ironing out (already mentioned) it was an enjoyable read. Smile
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you both very much for the input. Very Happy I've spoken with NoNi about it, but I haven't said anything about the tense switching.

I am doing this in an experimental way (for me xD), in which the character is recalling past events. So at the end of every chapter it's as if the character speaks in the "present", and the first part is the story unfolding in real-time, in his memories.

It does sound strange and probably way too hard for my level yet, but I hope that by the end I'll get versed enough in it to edit the first few chapters and make it readable when I get the hang of it.

Thank you for bearing with me, I hope I'll improve by the next chapter and make it even more enjoyable for you. Very Happy
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.




Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?


Last edited by Cyberworm on Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, Cy! Great new chapter. Agreeing with Andy that it was a little wonky to keep track of at first, but I still really like the narrating style. I also liked the alternative reality/present - definitely done in an interesting way, with the swimming vision and the lack of focus - it was a nice, unexpected twist.

For the dp...I'm going to stem off of Crunchy's idea for a doting neighbor and go one step further with it's someone who looks fairly similar to his deceased girlfriend and starts triggering more of those loopy alternative visions :3
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 4:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, I don't know if it's just me, but I'm actually very confused at the moment. But I guess that's actually a good thing. Makes sense since this is written in first person, and also because our protagonist is in a very bad shape at the moment, but me, personally, loving the story, not the confusion xD

For the DP, I'm gonna suggest that it's a daughter he didn't know he had. BUT she doesn't know that he is her dad either, she's just here because she saw a mysterious ad in the newspaper about her mother's death.
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright, so I guess RL got the better of me for a while, but it's time to continue this little piece.

So far the two viable options are an overprotective neighbor or a long lost daughter he never knew and won't know is such until a later point or maybe never. The third option might be both. XD

I'm giving this three more days for any new readers to catch up And then a three day poll. This is the first and probably only warning. Chime in the options, people.! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 11:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I return! And as such, I'm giving this a casual nudge to see how that poll is coming. ^^
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome start for your story. So far I think the main char had seen the fifth dimension... shame he is bleeding everywhere.
I'll see what ideas others come up with. How about the house manager ask in for money. A bum on the streets heard the noise. A postman came to drop something off. These are my ideas.
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PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2019 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This has a lot of potential. I hope you continue it. I mean, it's not been that long* since your last chapter.


*In geological terms.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 4:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*sneaks in from the multiverse*

Aaaaand I'm back! I wanted to finish this piece. I wanted to be back in this community. And I wanted to make IF great again!

*gets shot by an unknown shooter*

Alright, I went too far there. Very Happy

But I'm still back. I will be in the Inn more often, write more often. I hope to see all faces, new and old back in IF.

The poll is up. The kiddie gloves are off. Let's do this. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 5:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome back Corm!

And..

Voted and...

Winning. Cool
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've voted as well! Excited to see this continue.
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Who knocked on my door?
The man from the phone call I got after the newspaper ad?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
A man from the ad agency?
33%
 33%  [ 1 ]
My overprotective neighbor?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
The overprotective neighbor... who looks like my love...?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
A daughter I didn't know I had, coming to see about the ad?
66%
 66%  [ 2 ]
The landlord asking for the bloody rent?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
A bum coming to check out the noise?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Chinaren, Emperor, Novelest_Ninjagirl

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