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Shady Stoat
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
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Location: England
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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 7:57 am Post subject: Shadows Chapter 2 |
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I'm breaking this chapter into two parts, as it would be too long to post as one.
The readers vote ended in a tie between warning the servant and heading cross-country to Shift City. Chapter two follows on from those choices.
CHAPTER TWO, Part 1
Keli wavered, undecided. The servant was heading into the distance.
She had to warn him! He’d never believe her - he’d think she was mad. She had to get out of here, go to the City, find help from there, maybe. Yes, that’s what she’d do.
She turned North, took a couple of steps… and then, without quite knowing why, she ran after the boy.
He must have heard her coming, but he didn’t turn around until she touched his shoulder.
There was something wrong with him. Even at first glance, Keli could tell that much. The boy’s gaze drifted straight past her, fixing on nothing. He looked as though he was answering a call from very far away.
“Listen,” Keli shook the boy, urgently. “Those people – your masters – they’re going to kill you. Do you understand?”
For a moment, she thought he must be deaf. Then his eyes flickered briefly over her face and his features settled into a puzzled frown.
Keli was starting to get worried now, but she gave it one more try.
“You can run away. You can come with me. Do you understand? If you stay here, they’ll kill you. I’ve seen it.”
Now she seemed to have the boy’s attention. He stared at her, his mouth beginning to work.
“Seen… it…?” he whispered.
“Yes. Yes, I’ve seen it. Now come on!”
It was as if she had released a demon. He wrenched himself free of her grip, pushing her violently back into the dirt.
“Not dead!” he screamed. “Not dead! NOT DEAD NOT DEAD!”
The corners of the boy’s mouth were foaming. He crouched, snarling at her, like a man-turned-beast.
“Shh!” Keli didn’t know whether to be more terrified of him, or the noise that he was making. “Please, hush, I’m sorry…”
It was already too late. Footsteps pounded from the house, the stable, the gardens. In a matter of moments, she was surrounded. The Lord Justice broke through to the front of the ranks.
He sneered down at her, noting the backpack on her shoulders. “Ah. The Evil Eye. She runs, and so proves her guilt. At least we shall be spared the formality of a trial this way.”
He turned to a couple of his servants. “Take her and chain her. In the morning, she will be purified.”
Keli heard her mother sobbing as she was dragged away.
-------
It was hopeless. The cellar was pitch dark, and even if Keli could have pierced the gloom, there was no escape. She sat, chained, in stone cellars that had no windows and only one door. The walls were solid stone and very little heat leaked down under the house. It was so cold that Keli wondered if she might not freeze to death before the morning.
Would that be any worse than burning?
The commotion had continued for hours after her capture. She had heard her parents, on the other side of the door. They had been protesting, demanding to see her, talk to her. The fact that they were trying to negotiate obviously meant that the cellar keys were no longer in their possession. This Lord Justice seemed to have virtually unlimited power, now that he was here.
There had been shouting, entreaties, threats. Then the sounds of a scuffle, and her father roaring in pain.
After that, it had gone quiet.
Keli cautiously touched her left shoulder. Pain bloomed. It was swollen, wrenched when they had dragged her here. Given a couple of days, it would probably subside – but then, she didn’t have a couple of days, did she?
Dread knotted her stomach again, and she tried to think of something else. Here in the dark, though, her thoughts returned continually to the question:
‘What are they going to do to me?’
Would it be public, or would they put her in a cage and take her to – to that place? Maybe it would be both; a show to satisfy the crowd, before they carted her off to the stone slab. Would she have to wait long? None of the faces in her dreams had looked starving. What did that prove, though? Just that the prisoners had been fed regularly. If they put her in a different prison, was there any chance she could escape? If so, where could she go? Why were they doing this? What was going to happen to the crazy boy now? Was it her fault? If she had left, would his fate have been any better – any different? Would they now end up in the same place, and would she be forced to witness her vision becoming a reality?
Her heart was thudding so hard that it hurt. There were no answers, only more questions. To circle them around and around in her head would only drive her crazy. She wanted to go to sleep, but that was no escape. The nightmares would only follow her – only this time, it might be her own face that she saw!
She shuddered, a motion that turned into a fit of shivering. It was so cold in here. How long until morning now? It must have been hours since her capture. Everyone would be in bed, if not asleep.
Tears trickled down her face. “Please god, get me out of here,” she whispered, eyes raised to the darkness.
A key turned in the lock. Keli froze, feeling an almost superstitious awe. Then dread returned. Was it morning already?
Pale grey light crept in as the door opened. There was a figure standing outlined on the top step. For a moment, Keli could only blink blindly. Then, as she made out the shape in the doorway, she knew immediately who it was.
The crazy boy had come for her.
He crept down the stairs, hunched as if he expected to be beaten at any moment. He refused eye contact with her. Instead, he bent to the locks on her chains and clicked them open. Keli opened her mouth to speak, but the boy thrust a small hard object into one of her hands, then clenched it so hard that she gasped in pain.
“Go now,” he said, staring intensely at the floor. “Not dead.”
Keli couldn’t help but groan as she got back on her feet. Everything ached and her muscles had stiffened with the cold.
“Where’s my backpack?” she whispered. “I need my weapons. I need supplies.”
The boy pointed at her hand. “Go. Find. Go now.”
“It’s not enough. Where did they put my backpack. Please!”
“Not dead. Go.” As Keli hesitated, the boy’s mouth began to curl and twitch again.
Desperate as she was, Keli knew there was nothing to be gained here.
“All right, go now,” she said, soothingly as she hobbled to the stairs as fast as she could.
All hope of finding her equipment died as soon as she entered the main body of the house again. The windows showed that it was still dark outside, but it could only be an hour until the roosters announced the dawn. Then the servants would rise and she would be recaptured. For that matter, some of them could be around already. She would have to go carefully.
Her family home had never seemed as big. Each corner, each doorway was a new source of anxiety for her. Every time the candles flickered, she had to force herself not to scream. She headed towards the back door, only to have to alter her plans as the sounds of the early risers drifted from the kitchen. Ducking from shadow to shadow, she made her way along the main corridor and into the entrance hall. About twenty feet stood between her and the front door.
One step. Another. Pause to listen. Edge closer now… closer… one more step…
At last, there was one small piece of luck. A thick coat of fur and hide hung by the door. At a guess, Keli would say it belonged to the wife of the chief justice. It was a hideous purple colour, but at least it would keep her warm enough. Now all she had to do was worry about hunger, thirst and predators in the wild.
There was a creak from the floorboards upstairs. Keli tensed. It could just have been the house settling, or somebody could be getting up.
She had to go. Right now. As it was, there was barely enough time for her to cover her tracks before pursuit began.
Abandoning caution, she ran lightly to the door, grabbed the coat and lifted the latch as quietly as she could. The door opened with a cold rush of air. Keli stepped outside and carefully closed it behind her.
There was only one chance now. She had to run North, then get off the path as quickly as possible. Maybe she could make it to the City in two or three days.
Grimly ignoring the slimness of her chances, she began to jog stiffly out of Great Lake…
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Part 2 to follow shortly... |
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Smee
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:27 am Post subject: |
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Clearly you never had chance to see a Thorns and Steel chapter - you'll be amazed what some of us can read in one sitting. :-)
However, there are many here who don't like long chapters, so either way works good.
*Wanders off to read the chapter* |
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HarmonyFaith
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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:41 am Post subject: |
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*waits patiently for part two of chapter two to be published here* |
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The Powers That Be
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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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*Sits down next to HarmonyFaith and also waits patiently* |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Okey-dokey, here's the second part...
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It was noon, or thereabouts. A pale Autumn warmth spread over the land. The sun was out, but it failed to warm, playing hide-and-seek behind grey clouds. It was going to rain soon. Keli could feel it.
She had been off the path for hours now. As she had left Great Lake, she had felt strangely euphoric. For better or for worse, she was free now; and there was nothing like escaping certain death to lift the spirits. The river had been running alongside the City road, so she had risked a five minute delay to wash the grime from her face and drink her fill. Water had never tasted so good.
Since then, though, the euphoria had evaporated. She had left the road and headed into farmland. At this time of year, though, the harvest had already been gathered and the fields were nothing more than grass or bare stubble. Add to that the fact that she was wearing a purple coat and she had a long way to go before she ceased to become obvious.
The ground was muddy from recent downpours. It made walking difficult. One thing was becoming apparent - a childhood of staying at home had left her ill-prepared for a cross-country hike. Soon, all she could think about was how much her legs ached and how her shoulder throbbed. It was too soon to rest, though. Much too soon.
She thrust her left hand into the pocket of the coat, hoping to relieve the tension in her injured shoulder. There was a small, bumpy object in there. It was only then that Keli remembered about the mad boy’s mysterious gift.
Wondering, she pulled it out of her pocket and looked at it for the first time.
She recognised it immediately. It was a portrait talisman. When she had been much younger, there had been a stall of such things at the market every week. They were minor ensorcellments, usually sold alongside such things as baby charms and love potions. All quite popular a decade ago, but a lot less common these days. As far as she knew, that stallholder no longer traded at Great Lake.
Portrait talismans were quite simple. A scene was set up, and a carver hollowed the main lines of it out of a circle of wood. Then a little hedge-witchery was applied and the buyer could take it home and hang it like a wind chime. When the sunlight shone directly through the carving, the rays illuminated and magnified the scene on a wall behind it in a glorious plethora of colours. They were supposed to be more accurate than hiring an artist to do the work, and not much more expensive.
How had crazy boy got hold of one? And why had it been so important to give it to her?
She tried holding it up to the sunlight, but the talisman had nothing to reflect against. Sighing, she decided that it would have to wait. There were more important things to do now – like staying alive.
She trudged on. Evening came – and with it, a new problem. The land was turning from farmstead into wetland. Marshy ponds lay in her way, forcing her to detour around them repeatedly. The last of the sun’s rays shone orange against the glittering water. There were the sounds of birds calling their evening songs, and a heron took flight as she approached. It would have been quite beautiful if she had been in an explorer’s frame of mind.
As it was, she was fighting exhaustion and her boots were soaked through. Small insects were flying around her like a plague, using her as their next meal; and, talking of meals, she was hungry! She hadn’t eaten more than a handful of berries in twenty four hours. There was no telling when she might rest… or eat… or even drink again. The swampy waters had a layer of scum around their edges which certainly didn’t look appetising. Then there was the added fact that, apart from the birds and the insects, there didn’t appear to be any wildlife around or in the ponds. If she was literally dying from thirst, then she would drink here. For now, though, it seemed like a poor way to prolong her escape attempt.
Hungry. Thirsty. Tired. Sore. Wet. As the last of the light faded, this became Keli’s litany of pain. Finally, it became too dark to stumble on. Safe or not, she was finished for the night. She found a small, rocky patch where the ground rose above the marsh and attempted to curl into a comfortable position. Despite her exhaustion, she found it difficult to get to sleep. The night crawlers and the insects bothered her. Her feet were freezing and sodden. Her stomach rumbled and her mouth was dry. Eventually, though, she dozed, fitfully.
The sun was up before she opened her eyes again. For once, she had no memory of her dreams. It was hard to be thankful, though, as her thirst had increased tenfold in the night. It drove the other concerns to one side. She forced herself to get up, through the barrage of aches and pains. It was time to make a concerted effort and find clean water.
She limped forward a few steps, then stopped, staring. In the muddy ground before her, there were prints. They were deep, they looked recent and they were made by paws. Whatever had made them was big, and it seemed to have tracked its way in a circle around her sleeping place.
Keli shivered apprehensively. They didn’t look like the tracks of a normal beast. If she had to venture a guess… she’d say that a Were had passed by her in the night. It hadn’t killed her - must have already eaten - but that didn’t mean she was safe. It might come back at any time.
‘How much worse is this going to get?’ she asked herself, bleakly. There was no answer.
By mid-morning, Keli had turned roughly North again. She was circling the edges of the wetlands, but she didn’t dare stray any further East. At this point, Shift City might be her only chance of surviving this. Her throat was raw and she could taste copper in the back of it. The journey was no longer about finding food or drink, or comfort or safety. It was merely about putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to fall over.
Then she heard it, a little way off. A trickling sound rose above the buzzing of the insects.
Water! It had to be water. Clear, sparkling, drinkable, heavenly water! She turned and began to run, so hastily that she tripped into the dirt and had to crawl/clamber her way upright again. She was filthy, her hair was caked with mud and her coat was ruined, but she didn’t care. In a few steps, she would be able to quench the fire in her parched throat.
The ground rose in a gentle but steady slope. In the distance, at the top of the hill, she could see a line of trees. Less than twenty meters away from where she stood, however, was the source of her desire. A natural spring, bubbling from the hillside. It ran only a short distance before disappearing into the boggy ground below, but a short distance was more than enough.
Keli staggered forward, panting with anticipation. She was barely a meter away when something landed by her feet. She looked down with glazed eyes. It took her a moment to register what the item was. A dagger, with a strangely serrated blade.
Keli stared blankly around. She couldn’t see anything but countryside. Where had the knife come from?
At this point, she hardly cared. Her body was screaming for water. She took a step forward… and heard a growl.
“This is our place now,” rumbled a low voice. “You’re not welcome here. Go.”
Keli followed the direction of the voice with her eyes. Hard as she stared, there appeared to be nothing there. From the way the hairs on the back of her neck were rising, however, she had a feeling that she was outnumbered.
This was bad… |
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HarmonyFaith
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:45 am Post subject: |
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Interesting. |
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Smee
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:58 am Post subject: |
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Very bad indeed.
My, that was a tough chapter for our little heroine. :shock:
Excellent of course :)
Hmmm...what to do.
Communication is possible. The creature is capable of speech...
"Please, just a little water, then I'll go. I need water."
Happy Writing :) |
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The Powers That Be
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, I think she would beg for permission to drink some water. I'm not optimistic it will be granted, though.
Alternatively, she could conveniently pass out right at this moment. Perhaps they'll take pity on her. Or eat her. Hard to say. |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:40 am Post subject: |
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The Powers That Be wrote:
Alternatively, she could conveniently pass out right at this moment. Perhaps they'll take pity on her. Or eat her. Hard to say.
Now my inexperience as a SG-er comes out. Am I meant to base the poll on what could happen next, or on what the character would decide to do next? Advice, please. :?
I've got a few alternative ideas to post up on the poll, anyway, so I'll probably put it up tomorrow. Keep the turnaround nice and tight... :) |
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Smee
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:30 am Post subject: |
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Technically either - but many prefer to base it on a main characters point of view, with the decision based around the characters actions given the situation. The character may change in different chapters though.
From my experience this is the better way of doing it, forcing the reader to put themselves in the characters shoes, rather than taking the 'author' view of seeing everything. They have direct control of the main character, which will effect the story, whilst leaving the overall control still in the hands of the author. Without this, some decision points could leave the author in a bad situation regarding the plot.
*admires the tightest turnaround he's ever seen* :-)
Happy Writing. :) |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:48 am Post subject: |
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Smee wrote: Technically either - but many prefer to base it on a main characters point of view, with the decision based around the characters actions given the situation. The character may change in different chapters though.
In that case, I think fainting is out of the poll options. Unless we choose 'faking a swoon and hoping not to get eaten' as an option :D
Quote:
*admires the tightest turnaround he's ever seen* :-)
*takes a second to pat her tight little turnaround*
You really think so? *simper*
:lol: |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 4:12 am Post subject: |
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Right. The poll's up for 3 days. Enjoy, vote and try to keep Keli alive for chapter four, okay? :-D |
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ethereal_fauna
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:08 am Post subject: |
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Caught up with this one...don't worry about chapter length, as yours are fine.
I opted to go on. She doesn't need a confrontation at this moment, even though she does desperately need water. I think she should just let it alone and move on. |
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Suneila
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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I voted to beg for water, because she's so emotionally exhausted right now. She's tired, and hungry, and extremely thirsty, and her last hope for fresh, clean water was just dashed to pieces by a frightening voice that doesn't belong to anything that she can see. I think the only reaction she could possibly have would be to break down in tears, fall to her knees, and beg for water. She is a teenage girl, after all.
~sunny |
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Dean
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:11 am Post subject: |
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Hey. Finally got around to reading your story. Pretty good, I like it. Only thing I don't understand is why the girl hasn't gone stark-raving mad yet, what with the insane visions and nobody to talk to about them.
I chose for her to wander away north. You can go for days without water, and I'm sure she'll find more soon enough. |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:26 am Post subject: |
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Dean wrote: Hey. Finally got around to reading your story. Pretty good, I like it. Only thing I don't understand is why the girl hasn't gone stark-raving mad yet, what with the insane visions and nobody to talk to about them.
Thanks Dean :)
And the short answer as to the insanity problem is that the dreams haven't always been this frequent or this bad. Things are changing in Keli's world, and her visions are changing with them. I'm not going to give away any more of the plot than that, though, otherwise no-one'll want to read to the end :smile: |
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Shogun
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:01 pm Post subject: |
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I vote for the fifth option...SUICIDE! Kidding, I voted for fending them off. |
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Shogun
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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SUICIDE! SUICIDE! SUICIDE!*continues until staot shoots a bullet into chest the size of a tree trunk* |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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Shogun wrote: SUICIDE! SUICIDE! SUICIDE!*continues until staot shoots a bullet into chest the size of a tree trunk*
A gun-toting Stoat. I like it...
... or should it be a gun-stoating Tote. *puts another bullet into Shogun while thinking about it* |
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Shogun
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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*comes back to life with fully loaded MAC-10's with extraclips*
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*COUGH**COUGH* WATER...I NEED WATER.... |
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DukeReg
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:47 am Post subject: |
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I chose to beg, because:
a) defying/attacking/threatening angry/armed/insular people is probably going to get her killed,
b) the swamp water seems poisonous, from description,
c) if oasis like this one were common enough to rely on stumbling upon another one before dying of thirst, she probably would have found one earlier, and would not be desperately thirsty at this point. I'm going to assume that this is a last resort attempt to find water.
Besides, she can always beg that they tell her where the next closest fresh water is, if she cant convince them to let her in. |
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Shady Stoat
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 5:19 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for voting, everyone.
Begging for water won - although it was a close-run thing. I'll write the new chapter as soon as poss :-) |
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