City of IF

[Chinaren]

Okay all, I know I said lots of old bids would be wrapped up in this chapter, but it is alreay twice as long as usual, and I still am not near finishing it, though things have moved on.

I don't want to rush things and spoil the flow, so Love and Death, part two, will be posted next time.

Still lots happening in this episode! :shock:

[Chinaren]

Chapter 19 – Love and Death part 1...

Synopsis:
The Good:Evil Homer, a renowned Paladin, and a small band are in search of the Dark Heart, a powerful artifact that could help destroy the Evil Phang and end her plans for world domination.
Split off from Homer, Duke Reg and a small party are chasing the Duke’s small sister, who has been abducted by the mysterious Sorrow, his eight headed goose and his wretched sidekick Idea Master.
Phang is also looking for the Heart, and has sent a hideous Demon to search for it too. The demon has passed through a portal guardian on the way to the Heart, with Homer hot on his trail.
The Bad: The Dark Queen Phang and her Evil Horde have broken the Silver Land’s main defense, Fort Cra-yon, and have now taken the Gnomish Capital city Chundyer, forcing the King to flee. He must now decide where to go now…



Cast (in no particular order):
Evil Homer as ‘The Paladin Hero’
Chainfire as Homer’s sword.
Araex as Homer’s steed.
Shanty as Captain Shanty.
Shady Stoat as The Twisted Witch.
Dragon Fire as The Dragon Guardian.

DukeReg as Oaf Duke Reginald Percival Thunderking Harwobble the Fifth.
Key as the Magical Dignified Chamber Pot.
D-Lotus as the Elven special forces commander
Solomon Birch as a misguided AlbinoDrow.
Random as The Thing.

Sorrow as a mysterious robed figure.
Idea Master as his wretched minion.
Mother goose as a hydroose
Sunbellina as Duke Reg’s little sister.

Ingrothechundyer as Ingro Chundyer the Gnome King.
Reiso as Gnome Prince Reiso
Cantolope as King of the Fairies
Author as Gnomish Wizard.

Phang as The Dark Mistress
Muaddib as a wheely thing.
Lord of the Night as an Evil Demon Warrior.
Powers That Be as General Powers ‘the perverted.’
Luvd and Mr Moochie as ‘The Ravens’
Dean as the Dean the Head.
Smee as the Smee Slug.
Ethereal Fauna as Ethereal Slug.

The Fallen – Lest we forget..
Jnmrcs as the High Commander
Hyperion as the Mage.
CowofDoom666 as The Cow of Doom

And introducing…
Kalanna Rai as the Gold keeper.


Ingro.

“I say we go west. Both humans and Elves are that way, and it is away from Phang.” Said Reiso.

King Chundyer regarded his son for a moment and then nodded. “Okay, we head west.” He climbed back onto his pony and was about to start when a Gnomish scout in Army colors thundered up.

“King Chundyer sir! A contingent of Phangs forces!”

“Damn!” The king slammed his fist into the pommel of his saddle. “Where?”

“Due west sir.”

Ingro considered the options a moment. “Leaves us with very little choice. It looks like we will be heading north after all. How far are Phang’s forces scout?”

“Close sir. Maybe half an hour’s ride, a large force. We need to move quickly.”

Gritting his teeth King Ingrothechundyer yanked at his reigns and kicked the donkey. “We ride!” He set off with his entourage close behind.

Behind him the scout watched until they were out of sight, smiled and then shimmered and disappeared.

Phang.

Phang opened her eyes and grinned to herself. One problem out of the way for a moment at least. She couldn’t allow Chundyer to go west and possibly raise another army until she had consolidated her position in the gnome lands. Powers was already complaining about being over-stretched.

She sat up, stepped over the still mostly alive body of the thin guard she had enjoyed the night before and stretched. Ahhh. It was good to be alive and killing. Without bothering to pull her thin robe closed she strode out of the room she was currently using as her den. It was in one of the cities mansions and one of the few to have ceilings high enough to accommodate her height without stooping. ‘Stupid little people’ she muttered to herself.

“Hello Mr. Head! Good morning to you!” she said cheerfully to Dean, who was hanging by his hair to a nail in the wall in the corridor. “Did you sleep well?”

Dean made a face, having few other options to express himself. “Lot of noise coming from your bedroom as usual Phang. Shouting, screaming, yelling and so on. Enjoying yourself were you?”

Phang smiled. “Oh yes! He is even still alive! You have no idea how unusual that is these days.”

“So then, what’s the plan today?” asked Dean innocently.

Phang, who was reaching out to pick him up stopped. “Now Mr. Head, what’s all this sudden interest?”

“Oh, I was just hanging about bored” said Dean.

Phang laughed. “Mr. Head, Mr. Head, I did miss you before. Where did you get to anyway?” She picked him up and, swinging him by the hair, walked down the hallway chatting aimlessly.

In the room behind the unfortunate guard breathed one last ragged breath and expired.

Sorrow.

Sorrow moved about in Random’s tower adding a few final touches to a complex magical inscription on the stone floor. Sunbellina sat next to Mother Goose underneath a table, and IM sat to one side and watched. Random stumbled around checking various magical ingredients, the occasional part falling off.

Finally Sorrow stood up. “Ready here.”

Random made a note on a pad and closed a tome with a slam which sent a cloud of dust up. “I haven’t done this in ages” he said, “should be fun. Now then, we just need, er, you know…”

“Yes of course.” Said Sorrow. He paused for a moment and then turned to Sunbellina. Come here little girl please, I want you to stand still just here.” He pulled her into the center of his floor drawings and then stood back like an artist examining his work. “No no, she won’t stay still. Idea Master, do me a favor will you old man? Hold out little friend still will you?”

Idea Master grumbled to his self but shuffled across and held Subellina tightly by her shoulders. “Don’t move little creature! I will eat your hands if you do.”

“You are a nasty thing!” said Sunbellina unhappily.

Sorrow nodded at Random who nodded in turn. With a final glance at his notes Random raised his hands, ignoring the loose fingers he began to chant a dark and chilling spell.

Sunbellina let out a small scream as the light fled the room. Idea Master squeezed her shoulder hard.

The temperature in the room plummeted. Shadows seemed to creep in and ice formed on surfaces.

“Something is interfering!” muttered Random. “Magic is being used near the target area!”

“Increase the power!” said Sorrow. “I will not be thwarted!”

“Will he be enough though?” said Random, making a complex pass with his hand which sent a thumb flying across the room.

Idea Master looked up. “Damn you Sorrow! What are you doing?”

Sorrow looked at his old companion. “I am sorry old friend. I need power to get to the Heart. The area is protected by powerful spells.”

Master’s expression suddenly changed in realization. He let go of Sunbellina who quickly ran and hid under a table. “You don’t need the girl do you? It’s me!” He tried to follow Sunbellina, but he was rebuffed by an invisible force.

“Really Master, if there was any other way…” Sorrow shrugged. “Well, I probably would have done this anyway. Really, I don’t like you you know. Hanging around all these centuries. Now, I can finally put you to good use!”

“I will be back Sorrow” Idea Master shook his fist in a classic evil pose.

Sorrow leaned back. “I don’t think they will let you go so easily, where you are heading.” He chuckled a low and evil laugh.

Random’s chanting had reached a new pitch. With a dramatic gesture he pointed both hands at the Idea Master.

The shadows began to creep forward into the pentagram. Idea Master twisted around, trying desperately to find a way out. The first shadow entered the magical star and a subtle shift occurred. No longer a formless shape, now a kind of black caterpillar, crawling towards the captive form. Idea Master saw it and stamped on it, reducing it to a black smear. More shadows were crawling forward though, morphing into worms and insects as they crossed the magical boundary. Idea Master spun and whirled, performing a mad dance as he stamped this way and that, crushing them underfoot.

At first he held them back, but more and more came, tiny mandibles waving. One reached Idea Master’s foot and climbed up onto it. Idea Master didn’t notice, intent on crushing the oncoming swarm. He noticed when it bit him though, taking a tiny chunk of his flesh.

“Arg! Get off! Damn and curse you Sorrow, I swear you will pay for this! Arg!” Another small creature had climbed his leg. Master frantically brushed them off, throwing some to the floor, but allowing others to climb up his arms.

“Arg! No! No! Get off!” His dance became more frantic as first one, then two then a dozen small creatures bit into his flesh. He waved his arms, brushing his body, trying to clean the bugs off. A spider dropped onto his head and scuttled over his face.

Idea Master smacked at his face. “Ah, my eye!” A tiny rivulet of blood dripped down his face as he threw the crushed bug away.

Now the floor was dark with creeping forms, advancing relentlessly on the victim. Idea Master increased his struggle, smashing them underfoot and throwing them away with his hands, but there were too many. Blood began to drip down as beetles, spiders, worms and cockroaches bit and burrowed into him. Sunbellina wept and covered her eyes. Sorrow leaned back and smiled. Random just watched, blinking his many eyes.

Now Idea Master’s form was almost completely obscured by the black swarm, yet still he struggled. Inevitably he slipped, the floor slippery with crushed bugs and his own blood. His fall scattered many of the creatures on his body, exposing the damage they had already done. His rib cage gleamed white, a heart could be seen clearly beating below. Blood oozed, insects swarmed, Master thrashed, though ever more weakly.

“Curse youuuu Sorrowww…” he could just about be heard to say, his voice now barely audible above the small scatterings and crunching of the tiny creatures feeding off his essence. One arm raised in defiance, the hand a mere skeleton, covered in blood red and black carapaces.

Then it fell back and he lay still.

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the noises of thousands of insects feasting, then a dark swirling mass rose from the broken body. Briefly a face appeared in the smoke, mouth wide in a silent scream, and then it dissipated. At the same time Random shouted Magic and pointed.

With a flash of dark light Sorrow, Mother Goose and Sunbellina disappeared…

Stoat, Lordy, Homer, Shanty and Fire.

“Get back to the Dragon! Bring it here!” shouted Homer at Shanty as he waved Chainfire and advanced on Lord of the Night. Shanty nodded and fled the scene, not unhappily.

Lord gestured at the witch. Stoat waved her hands infront and an enormous explosion to one side of her sent trees flying. She pointed a finger as Lord picked his way over a shattered tree and advanced. He made a batting movement and Homer was picked up and thrown twenty feet into a tree by the force of the deflected magic.

Stoat backed away and made more frantic movement, chanting loudly as she did so. A red haze leapt from her hands and struck the Demon. Lord staggered backwards and then leaned into the spell, his colour changing from black to a dull red heat. As if pushing against a strong wind he stepped forwards slowly.

The witch made another sudden gesture and the red haze cut off. Lord stumbled forward and then, whilst he was off-balance, Stoat swept her arms up. Lord of the Night flew upwards, only arresting his unexpected flight by grabbing hold of a tree branch. He beat his wings and turned to face the witch, a look of anger on his face. Opening his mouth in an obscenely wide manner he belched forth a huge ball of flame.

The witch raised her hands in a defensive gesture which saved her from being roasted but still flung her head over heels into a nearby bush. Lord gloated, hovering and was about to dive down when a huge form swept out of the sky and battered him from above, sending him crashing down into the trees.

The witch stood up and shook herself then looked up. “Fire! Good timing!” She looked around and saw Homer hanging in a tree. “Paladin! Are you okay? I told you to go! You are useless here.”

Homer moaned. “So I am learning” he said and tried to locate his sword.

The Dragon hovered overhead, wings causing a downdraft. “Are you okay witch?”

“I am fine, just a little shaken…” She was cut off as a huge black form smashed into Fire’s side, causing both to plummet into the trees with a gigantic crash.

“Fire!” shouted Stoat. Sounds of roaring and wood splintering could be heard coming from the area where the two opponents had crashed, shaking the ground with the impact. As they watched an Oak tree sailed through the air to land in the forest off to one side.

Stoat cast some small magic and Homer sailed down from the tree, landing gently at its base. The witch strode over to him. “Next time Paladin, listen to me. Your foolishness could cost the Silver Lands dearly.”

Homer groaned, still dazed, and rested against the tree.

Stoat looked up as another roar echoed through the woods. “I have to go and help Fire” she said. “You, stay here.” She stabbed a finger down at Homer before hobbling off quickly towards the sounds of fighting.

Shanty, who had just arrived panting on the scene, knelt down by the Paladin and watched the witch go. “Better let the magic throwers do their thing,” she said.

Homer grunted as a loud scream made Homer and Shanty look at each other in consternation. A minute later they both ducked as a huge explosion sent trees and earth flying, causing it to rain woodland.

“Was that…?” asked Shanty.

Homer struggled to his feet. “I don’t care what the witch said. I am going to help.”

Shanty helped him to his feet. “We will both go.” She paused a moment. “Just…carefully.”

They moved off through the trees…

Random.

Random watched as the summoned insects scurried over the form of Idea Master, enjoying their meal. The power from Idea Masters life force still swirled in the room, and Random had to cast several protective spells to ensure it didn’t cause the forces present in his laboratory to unbalance.

There was a noise. He turned and saw an Elf in preposterous clothes in the doorway. He only didn’t laugh because the Elf held a sword reeking with magical charms.

“Who the hell are you?” He said, trying to balance the magic disturbed by the emanations from the weapon. Two other figures and something else lurked behind the elf.

“Who I am is not important you…thing. We are following someone, a hooded figure, a wretch and a little girl. Their tracks led here.”

Random shrugged a one sided shrug (one shoulder wasn’t working properly). “Don’t know who you mean I am sure.”

D-Lotus strode forward and thrust his blade up to where he estimated Random’s throat to be. “You are lying. Where are they, and what, by the Great Tree is that?” He gestured at the remains of Idea Master.

“Just feeding my pets. Have a closer look why don’t you?”

D-Lotus pressed forward, causing Random to step back to avoid being slit open. “I don’t think so. You have sent them somewhere haven’t you? I can smell the magic. You will send us after them.”

Random nodded. “Of course. Just step forward and stand close together. It won’t take a moment.”

“Not so fast thing” D-Lotus said, motioning for the Duke and Solomon to step forward. Key followed. “You are coming with us.”

“What! Impossible! I can’t leave my…” Random’s complaint was cut short by the sword. “Okay, off we go then.”

They crowded close, D-Lotus holding on to Random with distaste. Random drew on the remaining power in the room and there was a brief flash, then the room was empty apart from thousands of bugs and a mostly eaten body…

Lord of the Night.

Fire jumped and landed on Lord of the Night, causing one wing to tear. Lord twisted away and, grabbing a fallen tree trunk swung it around, hitting Fire on the side of the head and causing a column of flame it was spewing forth to hit an old elm tree, which exploded. Throwing the trunk down he half jumped, half flew and landed on the dragon’s back. Fire rolled over trying to crush him.

Lord jumped clear and pulled back on Fire’s wing, causing the dragon to scream a piercing and almost human sounding scream and bellow a stream of fire which incinerated several more trees.

Both fighters paused a moment, facing each other. Lord had a large bite wound on his arm, but Fire’s wing was hurt and blood streamed from claw marks on its neck. Fire leapt, batting the Demon’s leg with her claw and causing black blood to flow, but Lord rolled and ducked under the dragon’s wing to come up behind it. Fire swung round, but Lord was faster and used the momentum to pull the dragon’s wing and knock Fire off-balance.

A movement caught the Demon’s eye and, still holding the wing, he dragged the dragon round just as the witch loosed a spell of Purple rending. The energy hit Fire head on, causing it to howl with pain. Lord took the opportunity and threw the dragon bodily away from him with all his strength. Fire crashed into the burning brush and lay still, moaning.

Another movement from the witch, and Lord fell flat to the floor as a fireball flew over his head. He quickly stood, panting hard, one wing hanging raggedly. “You will have to do better than that little human!” he snarled.

Stoat responded with a Word of Power that the shook the earth and tore a chasm in the ground near her. Lord drew upon his own dark Powers and countered with a curse so horrible that the trees for half a mile around died. The two spells met and exploded in a massive release of energy, throwing both Lord and Stoat away from each other.

Landing in a burning tree Lord of the Night shook his head and scanned the area. Flaming debris fell from the sky. Where the spells had collided was a huge crater, the force of the blast had bent the remaining nearby trees back, or toppled them completely. He saw a limp figure lying half hidden under one.

Jumping to the ground he ran over to find Stoat unconscious, the last blast having caught her with her defenses down. He made an Adjustment, causing his enlarged form to shrink back down to its normal size, and reached for her body…

Homer.

Homer and Shanty ran through the ash and twisted, dead and burning brush until they came to a clearing. They found the Demon standing over the limp form of Stoat. Dragon Fire was lying amongst a pile of burning and smashed trees.

“Hold Demon!” the Paladin raised Chainfire.

Lord of the Night looked at Homer and laughed. “Look around you Paladin. I have taken on a dragon and a witch, what do you think you are going to do?”

“My best.” Said Homer and advanced.

“Unfortunately I have other orders, but fear not Paladin, our time will come, I promise you.” The Demon turned away from Homer, and a dark mist enveloped his form. When it cleared both demon and witch were gone.

Powers.

“If you would see fit to return her to her human form I can offer you my word that she will behave in a proper manner.” Powers was not used to begging, even to Phang, and this hurt.

Phang sat on the Kings’ throne, one bare leg hanging over the arm. To the side Muaddib was busy licking Dean the Head, much to the latter’s absolute disgust.

“Well, I am not sure my dear General. I mean if I go around reversing spells here and there people may think I am going soft, and that would never do.”

Powers stood still, keeping silent. He knew Phang, and this was just her way of opening a conversation.

Sure enough she continued. “Perhaps, if she works for me and proves her loyalty I will do as you ask, but until I am happy she will stay in her new form. She seems to have been enjoying herself with my sluggy as she is.”

Power’s held still, but ground his teeth. “Thank-you my Queen” he bowed and started to back out of her presence when a sudden wind sprang up, apparently from the middle of the room. Having experienced this before the General swiftly backed himself against the nearest wall. Muaddib looked up in confusion as the wind blew Dean across the floor.

The was a loud bang, which blew the wheelie thing onto his back and bent one of his wheels, and suddenly a battered Lord of the Night filled the room, a moaning figure of an old woman held under one arm.

Phang stood up. “Lordy! Nice to see you again, though you like you have been playing with the rough boys.”

The Demon dropped the old woman onto the floor and performed a slight bow. “I assure you my Dark Queen, I came out ahead.” He gestured at the body on the floor, which was stirring. “I bring you a present.”

Phang stepped forward and peered down. “Why, the day is just full of surprises! If it isn’t my old friend the twisted Witch Stoat. Why, I can’t have seen you since, well let me think.” Phang made a show of putting her finger to her chin in thought. “I think it must have been the battle of Drif!”

Muaddib, who had been waving his wheels about, paused slightly at the sound of the name. Something stirred in the back of his mind.

Stoat lifted her head up and groaned at the sight of Phang. “Oh great, it’s little Miss upstart. Just my luck.”

Phang frowned, and for a moment Powers thought that she was going to do something Angry, but then she laughed. “Still the same old cantankerous old Stoat eh? Well, I have a few little things I want to do today, so I will let my General here see to your torture for now.” She turned to Powers as the witch climbed wobbly to her feet. “Take Old Stoat here and see that she is uncomfortable will you?” Phang turned back to Stoat. “And don’t think of using your magic witch, I will not be happy.”

The witch spat at Phangs feet and then turned to Powers, who had a sudden surge of affection for such an act of defiance. “General Powers the Peverted? I have heard of you, you nasty little man.”

Powers felt a tingle run through his body at her abusive tone. Still, he must not show his feelings here. “Come on witch” he snapped and led her out of the door. Behind them Phang turned to the Demon…

Smee & Fauna slugs.

Smee rubbed himself slimily up against Fauna, who batted her eyes at him. Both slugs were unable to speak, but they had no need to. They were back in Smee’s coral, which now had several Orc guards around it, Phang had decided Smee had had enough running around for now.

There was a movement, and one of General Powers’ aides strode up to the slugs. “You, brown slug, come with me.” He pointed at Fauna.

Smee looked at Fauna in panic, but several Orcs stepped up waving their pole-arms. Fauna was pulled out of the coral, looking back at Smee in a helpless manner. Smee, eyes wide, watched as the Orcs led her out of sight…

Shanty.

Homer bent down and helped Shanty up a steep stretch of the path. Both fighters paused a moment, panting and admiring the view. The mountain stretched down below them, and Shanty could see the stretch of forest where the demon had fought Fire and the witch to a standstill. Trees still burned, sending smoke high into the sky. She thought she could see the portal, where Fire had dragged itself to rest and recover.

“I will be alright, we dragons heal quickly” Fire had said. “You must continue with your quest.”

“But what about the witch?” asked Homer. “We must help her!”

“And how can we do that?” the dragon had replied. “We don’t even know where they are, and even we did, I am not in any condition to fly us there now. No, you must go on.”

Homer and Shanty had reluctantly agreed and set off up the mountain to find the iron door Stoat had told them of before.

“We must be close now surely,” said Homer looking up at the massive bulk above them. “We have been climbing for hours.”

Shanty squinted. “What’s that?” she pointed to something off to one side and slightly above them.

Homer followed her gaze. “Could be it. Let’s go and see shall we? I want to get this thing before the demon comes back.”

They made their way over and found a small ledge and, set back into the mountain, an ancient door. “Yes!” said Shanty. “Try the key!”

Homer fished out the key Stoat had given him and searched the door for a lock. Finding it he inserted the key and turned it. There was a loud click. The two looked at each other and Shanty shrugged. “Push?”

Homer put his shoulder to the door and pushed. The door swung open, dust and small stones raining down from the top as it did so. Beyond lay a passage leading off into the dark.

Homer stepped in and found a cache of dry torches in a niche just beyond. They lit one each, and took a couple of spares. “What about the door?” asked Shanty. “We should close it.”

“What about the witch?” said Homer, “she may want to follow us.”

“I think there is more chance of the demon doing that.”

Homer nodded and closed and locked the door. The two faced the tunnel, which led off into the mountain beyond the range of their torches. They set off to see what lay beyond…

Dean.

Dean hung from his peg. The room was dark, Phang had left earlier and Muaddib had finally trundled out, his bent wheel making him wobble.

There was a movement and a dark figure appeared by his side.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Said Dean.

“Anything to report?”

“Nothing much, give me a chance, I only just got here.”

“Stop your whining head! Do you want your body back or not?”

Dean frowned. “Okay okay. She is looking for something, an artifact of great power.”

“I know that, what is it called?”

Dean wrinkled his brow in thought. “The Dark Head? No! The Black Heart! That was it.”

The figure nodded. “You have done well. Keep doing well. I will be back.”

“When do I get my body back?” Dean asked, but it was too late. He was alone again. “Blast.” He said and went back to doing nothing.

Homer.

The passage eventually started to widen. “Is it me, or is it getting lighter?” asked Shanty.

Homer looked around. “I think it is!” he said. “The walls see? Some sort of plant or something.”

They walked on and soon Shanty extinguished her torch, there was enough light to see from the lichens. Soon the tunnel became a cave. They rounded a corner and both stopped. Shanty gasped.

“Is that?” she asked.

Homer nodded. “Looks like it.”

Before them, piled up in vast heaps in a cavern were amounts of gold, silver and jewels, sparkling in the light.

A form stirred on top of one pile of gold. Homer tensed and started to draw Chainfire, then he saw what was moving and paused.

“A mule!” he said. Indeed, sat on top of a large pile of gold was a small horse-like figure. It looked up at the sound of Homer’s voice.

“Intruders!” it said standing up and promptly falling over again as the gold shifted below its feet. “Arg!” it cried as it rolled down the small, but expensive hill, landing on its back.

Shanty laughed and moved forward to try and help it. “Poor mule!” she said.

The horse struggled to its feet. “I am not a mule, I am a donkey! A bad motherfunker* so don’t mess with me!”

Homer strode up to stand next to Shanty. “It’s a bad ass on a pile of gold!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing here ass?”

The ass drew itsself up proudly. “The name, if you please, is Kalanna Rai, guardian of treasures.”

“Indeed.” Said Homer. “Well, Kalanna, do you happen to know where I can find the Black Heart?”

Kalanna looked at Homer for a moment. “Oh. You are after that are you?”

“Yes,” said Shanty. “You have a problem with that?”

“Well, it’s not my department you see.” Said the Rai.

“Where can we find the Heart ass?” asked Homer impatiently.

“Well, all I know is that you must choose a path.” She nodded her head at several tunnels running off towards the back of the cavern. “The left one is known as ‘The Path of Air’, the middle one as ‘The Path of Water’ and the last one as ‘The Path of Earth.’ I am led to believe that one of them leads to the Heart, eventually, but it is not an easy way.” She paused. “I have always wanted to go and explore down the corridors, but always lacked the nerve myself.”

Homer looked at the tunnels and turned to Shanty. “Well Captain? What do you think?”

Shanty looked at Homer and then at Kalanna. “Oh I don’t know, maybe…”

*Or something that sounded similar.

>>>>>>

Phew!! Sorry, long long chapter, and more to come.

In the meantime, welcome to Kalanna Rai, who wished to be a bad ass on a pile of gold. Goodbye to IM (in his bodily form) sacrificed, as bid, by Sorrow.
Well done to Lord, who won an expensive bidding war, and hence a tough fight.

So, which corridor should Shanty and Homer choose? And any idea what lies beyond??

Comments and all that jazz please!!

<<<<<<

[D-Lotus]

Evil (let me comment on the irony of that, again...) Homer looks like earthy person, so he should take the Earth corridor.

[Kalanna Rai]

Hey why not. Didn't Donkey marry Dragon in Shrek? Anyways I fail to see how my new form can tap claws and scortch drapes. Also Chin, it's she not he. Get it right or I'll figure out a way to come through cyberspace and fry your feet to so many cinders. Repeat offenses will result in literary retaliation. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to practice my shapeshifting magic...

Don't make me go midevil on you!!.

[Chinaren]

Quote: it's she not he.

Damn. Once again I make this mistake. Corrected with apologies Kalanna! :oops:

[Shady Stoat]

Good chapter Chinaren

So far, on first reflections, I see very little to choose between the three paths. Only the words 'It is not an easy path'.

So... earth? Most paths are made of earth, therefore it could be considered easiest.

Air? Fairly insubstantial, although not in this case, I'm sure.

Water? It would be the hardest to get through as they are.

It's very random, but lacking anything else that I can see to base it on, I'll go with the Path of Water

[LordoftheNight]

so - which one did I kill then? or does that come later?

i think they should go through the path of air, just because it sounds the hardest and is probably a misnomer

*struts around after winning his fight*

[Solomon Birch]

Great chapter once again Chinaren. Loved the 'bad-ass' on a pile of gold. :lol:

Anyway, I'm supposed to be revising for an exam, so I will return with sparkly ideas later....

*ponder ponder*

[ethereal_fauna]

I think any of the paths could prove trecherous, and likely all three will take them where they want to go. It's undoubtedly not so simple as choosing a path randomly out of three, but the intent of the chooser...take the quick and easy path or actually opt for the path thought most difficult.

[Smee]

I think Fauna is on to something there.

Great first part by the way. :)


For the inconvenience of travelling through it, and trying to fight in it, I think water would seem the hardest to EH.

Go down the water path.


Happy Writing :)


P.S Welcome to the Story Kalanna :D

*wanders off chuckling about the bad ass. and remembers he's currently a slug :shock: *

[ethereal_fauna]

And what a hot hunk of slimy slug you are too :cool:

[Chinaren]

ethereal_fauna wrote: And what a hot hunk of slimy slug you are too :cool:

LOL!!

[ethereal_fauna]

*grins*

[Kalanna Rai]

Herself not himself. I warned you chen now I'm going to retaliate, just watch the posts!!!

I want to see them take the path of air, just to see hem suffer...*gives an odd breying roar that passes for a laugh* I'd take on the lord of the night but not in my current ass-like form. Chen would have to put me back to being myself to do that.

P.S. If you do anything weird to me, like make me purple and indelibly etch the playboy bunny on my scaly ass I will fry you to a crisp.

*trots in a happy circle as she manages to snort fire, claws happly clicking on the stone floor.*

[Solomon Birch]

Kalanna Rai wrote: P.S. If you do anything weird to me, like make me purple and indelibly etch the playboy bunny on my scaly ass I will fry you to a crisp.*

HA HA HA! Now you've said that, he's going to be sure to do something!

And I think that he should go downt the water path, just cos' it sounds crazy fun.

[Chinaren]

Thanks all. If you choose the water path, any ideas on what is up there???? :shock:

[Key]

chinaren wrote: Thanks all. If you choose the water path, any ideas on what is up there???? :shock:

Hmm..well, the obvious thing is that it leads to a body of water. So to make it more interesting, it should be something else. Maybe there's a big chasm, and the only bridge across is made out of water. Will it hold them, or not? Or maybe it's a bridge of ice, or a room full of steam. Maybe it leads to a stone room filled with creatures who are made of water. Maybe Evil Homer gets turned into water, or grows gills and has to jump into an underground lake.

Just free-associating here.... o-)

[Chinaren]

Mmm, interesting ideas Key. Sets me off thinking anyway. o-)

[D-Lotus]

But...Earth just sounds so....compelling?

[Idea master]

If it was air, then it'd have to be a room of steam with bobbing lights marking the safe pathway. Walk where the lights don't bob, and you fall into the abyss.
Water - What can I say?
Earth - A solid cave wall that EH must work up the courage to walk through. And if he does, Volia!

All in all, I vote Earth.

[Chinaren]

Poll is up y'all, and keep up with the suggestions!

[Kalanna Rai]

Solomon if you think chen can be evil just wait to see what the first installment in my smack down series can bring. Let's just say anyone and everyone that chen has 'made an ass of' is going to get sweet revenge.

*manages to fly a few feet on stubbly wings.*

P.S. Chen what the hell is up with leaving out the Path of Fire? Do you want to piss off the Fire elementals or something?

[Chinaren]

Quote: Chen what the hell is up with leaving out the Path of Fire? Do you want to piss off the Fire elementals or something?

I was rather tired and quite a lot drunk by the time I finished this chapter, I just forgot!! :-o

It is a bit of a lame d-point for me, but I like to have one, and different paths seemed like an easy way to go at the time. It wasn't the one I originally planned to do!

[D-Lotus]

Hey, that thing in the bottom that tells who voted is pretty cool! Anyway, I have a feeling the final results will be something like: 5, 3, 2 or 6, 2, 3

[Solomon Birch]

Voted! :D

[Idea master]

I've come up with something for the path of water!
He has to take a boat into a large underground cavern and anwser three riddles given to him by a gigantic water serpent.

[LordoftheNight]

went for air, purely because any of the three could be as bad as the others and i like flying

[Mother Goose]

Water seems to me to be the easiest - don't explorers always go for the rivers? IM's idea of a solid wall to get through sounds good. But maybe it's not as simple as working up the courage to just walk through it. I'll vote earth (just to even things up).

[Idea master]

The illusion of solidity, my dear hydroose, the illusion of solidity.

[Chinaren]

Arg! A three way tie!!

[LordoftheNight]

you can count my vote as two if you like

[Chinaren]

lordofthenight wrote: you can count my vote as two if you like

LOL!

Well, I still have my vote to use as a tiebreaker, and I think I have an idea for the tunnels, though not sure how it will work out yet.

[D-Lotus]

Well, decide fast, so you can write the next chapter and I can read it! ;) This is the bad thing of storygaming...it takes sooooo long! :)

[Chinaren]

Very well. I actually don't have to get this poll done before the next chapter, so I have posted L&D part 2 already.

Keep commenting and voting here though, if you haven't already!

[Sorrow_A]

Agua*, porque** it's watery...and stuff. Any game that I've played and book that's I've read involves unstable ice bridges, so embrace the cliche or not.

*Water
**Because. If it was seperated into por que, then it would be "for what", literally "why".

NO I AM NOT GOING TO PARTICIPATE IN A SPANISH SG! I wouldn't understand any of the words anyways.

[Chinaren]

Okay then, water took it, so I will start on the next chapter very soon.

[Chinaren]

Okay, chapter 21 is up, so locking this one off!