City of IF

[Key]

The seventh chapter of the featured storygame "The Machine's Daughter" has been posted:

Chapter 7: The Whisperers

Discussion and voting are complete for Chapter 7.

For more about the storygame, see the New Players Start Here topic in this forum.

[Idea master]

Oh me oh my. This was a good one. (And look! I'm responding!)
I believe that the least that we owe these people is the truth, hoping that they could respond with some knowledge of their own about our heritage.
Other than that, I'm still in awe.

[D-Lotus]

I can't lie and say I didn't see something like that happening...

I think right now you need answers to questions, and I think the best way to do so is to use these scorpi people to your advantage. Tell them you are the Child of Taremto, then tell them you must cogitate in peace about your plans to help them. Also, only the leader or head priest can talk to you (or else they'll get used to you and think you're a fake, or something), and you must have your own residence or tent or somewhere to live in and think. This head priest seems an intelligent person, and I'm sure he could answer many of your questions. He is also intelligent enough to understand you are not really a god, but you can still help his people against the imperialists, who seem to be the bullroars.

That's all so far I think...Oh yeah, the chapter seemed shorter this time...which is too bad... :(

But good job nonetheless, katie.

[dovesland]

First and foremost Good Chapter Katie, I liked the way you handled what could have been a sticky turn in the plot.
Secondly sorry i didnt vote last time I fianlly found a job and went into training last week and missed the whole thing.

Personally I feel that the thing to do would be this. Since you have started with establishing Pilla as the child of the Scarpi God, it would be a good idea to kinda go with it for now. However, I feel that taking the head priest aside and being HONEST with him would be the way to go. by explaining what has happened to her and how she has appeared in this world with no knowledge of what she truely is, would set the course for finding out what her history truely is.

It kinda reminds me of the Stargate SG1 episode where Daniel Jackson returns after being ascended not knowing who he was or that he was once a devine being, perhaps this priest can shed a whole lot of light on where the poor girl came from. since this priest has information that she needs in order to find out why she is not like the people she grew up with, why her parent set is so different from her and what the heck is going on.

This Priest is her best way to discover who she truely is. Also, the Priest will have a better idea as to why the guards are so hot to find her. there is so much information that Pila desperately needs at this point. Yes, food and shelter are important, but taking advantage of the situation would not be a good idea with beings who have poison stinger attached to their tails.

also, I have to be curious about how a human and a scorpion can mate. that has me a bit baffeled. this poor priest will have a time trying to get that one accross. tee hee. sorry wouldnt help it it just popped into my head. I was trying to behave I swear I was.

Again I liked the imagery, I feel that an evolution from the stiffness of the robotic world into the world of animals is begining to be reflected in the writing as well. As Pilla gains a better understanding of who she really is, her thoughts and the text are reflecting that shift in perspective. I dont know just a thought of what I see in the last three chapters. In my opinion a shift in the flow of the narrative would bring the reader deeper into the mind of this being. JMO

Anyhoo, Good Chapter Katie, I cant wait to see what Pilla discovers next about herself.

[Chinaren]

Yes, fairly predictable, but that's okay. I would like to see that mating with the scorpion. :shock:

Anyway, I think the best thing to do now is prevaricate, learn more about the situation and decide then. Saying anything now could make life tricky later on...

[dovesland]

chinaren wrote: Yes, fairly predictable, but that's okay. I would like to see that mating with the scorpion. :shock:



sick minds like ours think alike Chinaren ;)

[Chinaren]

dovesland wrote: chinaren wrote: Yes, fairly predictable, but that's okay. I would like to see that mating with the scorpion. :shock:



sick minds like ours think alike Chinaren ;)


Hehe. Well, it stands out a bit it does! :D You posted your response as I was typing mine!

[Ravenwing]

Tell Katie this chapter was beautifully crafted. I really loved the interaction between the Scarpi and what I assume are the Bullroars again.

Pilla needs more information on the Scarpi situation. Like dovesland mentioned, the priest seems like a pretty intelligent creature. If Pilla tells the truth, it will get rid of the awe these people have of her. If she fakes the truth and accepts that she is a child of this god, she is unconciously accepting an unknown fate she knows nothing about. It is best she clear up the assumptions, and let the truth out, and see where it goes from there.

Maybe if she heard the prophecy, she can make a better decision on what to do later on. I would bet Pilla is a bit shell-shocked from what she has found out, and is only curious to find out more. And like I said the priest seems to be a reliable, and only source.

[jess1561]

I agree with the others, looking forward to reading everyone else's ideas and waiting for the next chapter...

-Jess

[Shady Stoat]

Beautiful chapter, well led into :)

I don't think Pilla would think of deception as a way around this. She's been brought up to tell the truth as a matter of logic.

However, some caution is called for. The zigots and the scarpi are at war. She knows this. She must also be able to reason that she could end up being a tool in their war if she gives full disclosure to these people.

Tell the truth, but not too much of it, would be my first judgement. Tell them that you know nothing of the children of Taremto, but that you were trying to find others like yourself and that you would accept their guidance and help on the matter. Also that you would appreciate any knowledge they could give you of your 'origins' (as they see it).

[Smee]

Great chapter - I see what the others are saying. :D


I F5 Stoaty's comments this time. Seek a private meeting with the Priest and tell part of the truth to learn what you can.

Happy Writing. :)

[LordoftheNight]

F5

[Muaddib]

It might well be the cannabis talking, but I feel this one of the best Wheel chapters I've read.

I think Pilla should go along with the Child of Taremto thing but also wheedle out information about other humans and Gorgos, from the Scarpi. Maybe the Scarpi can take her to Gorgos?

[Ravenwing]

The question that pops into my mind is, "Would the Scarpi even know who Gorgos is?" Maybe we ask about the other Animal races, and their relationship is to the Scarpi. It's like asking what is going on this world because I have seem to have missed it all. The priest would probably know.

[D-Lotus]

ok, this much is obvious: We should befriend the head priest.

Beyond that, based on Pilla's character...we really know nothing. Yes, her life is based on logic, but she's not a machine...isn't that why she met with the satyr? So she could either reveal the truth, or hide it for a while, as it will help her. If she revelas the truth, what do you think will happen? Maybe the scorpi will be enraged, think you are an impostor, or think whatever they want...but its a risk because you don't know how they will react to the fact that their god doesn't love them....

I would pretend I was a god...its risky as well, but I think its the better choice.

[saxon215]

wow, damn i missed the last two chapters because i was in yallingup

[ethereal_fauna]

I doubt Pilla will outright lie to them, but she will remain cautious about revealing everything. I don't think that the other learned Scarpi in this temple will be satisfied with your just giving answers to Nogola. Don't confirm or deny anything just yet. Start asking questions of your own, with a desirable first query of "What do you know of those like me?"

As curious and intelligent as these scholars must be, if they have assumed you're a god of some sort they might be eager to please, to demonstrate their knowledge to you. After you've heard more, you can then logically weigh the wisdom of how much about you to reveal.

[Ravenwing]

You know, I am beginning to wonder whether or not any of Pilla's Philosophy education is going to help her. I mean, I feel like her whole education in the school has been of no help to her at all lately. What she learned from the streets is what helping her, which I guess makes sense since you don't learn about reality by taking a class for some enormous amount of hours for whatever amount of years.

Fauna has said what I thought just now. I wish I could get my thoughts out faster. Any information Pilla has, I am sure the priests will answer. They're already in awe of who she may be that it seems they would be willing to answer anything of her. Not everything has to be revealed in one go because I am sure each side would be testing the water.

[saxon215]

if i were Pilla i'd say that i couldnt remember anything and thats why i was repeating the phrase over and over again, now why she cant rememeber well, ummmm, she hit her head when she fell down from heaven!!

[D-Lotus]

well, that would mean she was there by accident, and not to save the scorpi, which would let them down. I guess our best chance is to not admit pilla is not a god. Just go with the flow of what they think of you....like fauna said.

[jnmrcs]

I'm with the saxon idea. She have to create some story about why she forgot and then ask to the priest. But don't say that you aren't a god also don't say you are.

[Mother Goose]

How does Pilla know she's not a "child of Taremto"? Her strange form had to come from somewhere, and these creatures seem to think they recognize it. Her training in philosophy, if it did anything, should have taught her to ask questions and be open to new ideas.

Taremto may be worshipped as a god by the Scarpi. but maybe there's some nugget of truth behind all this, and I think she would seize the opportunity to find out what they know.

[jess1561]

Mother Goose wrote: Taremto may be worshipped as a god by the Scarpi. but maybe there's some nugget of truth behind all this, and I think she would seize the opportunity to find out what they know.

It must be an old religion that the whisperers are following otherwise the scarpis following her would have recognised her as the child of Toremto... :hm:

Pilla should definately try to get as much information as she can without revealing herself...

[D-Lotus]

Its getting to be pretty much unanimous...

[Key]

D-Lotus wrote: Its getting to be pretty much unanimous...

I wouldn't make any assumptions. We haven't started voting yet. ;)

[Key]

OK, poll's up! We can assume that Pilla will ask the Scarpi what they know about the children of Taremto, why the Bullroars would be looking for her, and whether they've heard of Gorgos. The vote is about how she will respond to their questions about her first.

[Chinaren]

'ted, and winning.

[Muaddib]

I voted for telling part of the truth. It seems to me that if they realize that Pilla is oblivious to their legends, they might exploit her ignorance to lord over their people.

[Ingrothechundyer]

Voted and broke the tie :lol:

[Smee]

I voted for the third option - tell part of the truth, but nothing about her origins.

Happy Directing/Writing Key/Katie :D

[Ravenwing]

I am going with Smee. Pilla is a cautious person, so I see her only telling a little about herself at a time.

[Muaddib]

This is awesome, for the last two chapters I've been with the winning vote!

[Ravenwing]

You seem pretty smug, Muaddib. :cool: Anything can happen until then.

[Chainfire]

I said to only reveal part of the truth. The Scarpi are known to be violent and could attack her or her people.

[Ravenwing]

The unpredictability of the Scarpi really does put suspense on Pilla's next move. She has no idea how they will react to anything she says.

[Key]

Poll's is closed; the decision was to tell part of the truth.

Chapter 8 will be posted on Saturday.

:-)

[saxon215]

and we dont either rave

[Ravenwing]

Saxon, you're as vague as Hemingway. Would you mind explaining your statement because I think it is 7/8 under water thus leaving only 18 to comprehend. :cool:

[saxon215]

Ravenwing wrote: The unpredictability of the Scarpi really does put suspense on Pilla's next move. She has no idea how they will react to anything she says.
and neither do we know how the scarpi will react either, clarification enough?

[Ravenwing]

That works. I just wasn't sure what exactly you were commenting about.

But I think unpredictability is in the nature of the Scarpi. They keep a cool, open smiling face, while at the same they analyze their prey. *shrugs* I personaly don't trust these people right now, so that would be my opinion.