Storygames Home City of IF
Free online storygaming
 

No Good Deed: Ch4 - All You Need Is Love...
Click here to go to the original topic

 
       Storygames Home -> No Good Deed...
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:07 am    Post subject: No Good Deed: Ch4 - All You Need Is Love...  

Chapter Four:All You Need Is Love…

Elladora drained the dregs of her coffee. Ughh! Beastly stuff!

At least now, though, she knew what to do about young Alexander. She rose hurriedly from her armchair and towards the door. It was getting late in the day, and the fellow she wanted to see was always out trawling the nightclubs when it got dark. Maybe she could catch him before he started his rounds, if she got a move on.

For once, it was necessary to walk. When visiting workmates, it didn’t do to simply wave a wand and appear at their doorstep. It could be seen as showing off. Not a good thing to do if you wanted a favour.

She jog-trotted down her garden and made her way along the multi-hued cobbles of Fantasy Lane. Past the Clocktower of Father Time (how on earth did he ever get any sleep with that constant ticking noise?), on past the rather squalid and mouldy cottage of Old Man River. Poor man. He’d asked Them to do something about the rising damp, but They’d said it came with the job.

Turning the corner into Dreamers Street, she passed Scythe Mansion, barely sparing it a glance. It was set a fair way back from the rest of the houses. Nobody really wanted to associate with Death, poor fellow. Then past the crater where War’s house had stood, until recently. When building a new type of siege engine, it was important to remember not to sit on the remote control!

Finally, she made it. Elladora winced in distaste at the bright pink cottage with heart-shaped doors and windows in scarlet. Still, it was where she needed to be. She wandered up the garden path through a sea of crimson roses and rang the doorbell.

Thankfully, there were no dramatics this time. Just a single chime. A pause, and then the door was opened. Elladora glanced down, then flushed and raised her gaze again.

“Could you…” she stammered, staring fixedly ahead, “… err… I don’t suppose you could get dressed?”

“Oh, it’s you,” a curiously high-pitched voice replied. “I was expecting Easter Bunny. Go straight in, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Elladora stepped into the rosy-pink lounge and sat on one of the soft sofas. She fanned her face to get rid of the heat in her cheeks. If Cupid had one fault, it was his penchant for naturism. In this day and age, you’d think the higher-ups could supply him with some kind of costume for the job. Something in spandex, perhaps. Maybe she should suggest it to someone above her in the chain of command.

She was still considering the subject when the cherub re-entered the room. Sitting down, Elladora found that she could meet his gaze at eye-level. He was about four feet high, with blonde curls and even smaller wings than her own. His flesh was pudgy and soft, like a baby’s. He was wearing a figure-hugging suit in pink velvet.

For all of that, though, he was a master in his own field. It was his expertise that Dora needed, above all others. She smiled politely and accepted when he offered her a drink. It was a horrible herbal-alcoholic concoction, as always, but she held back the grimace and drank a sip.

“What’s up, fairy-godmother?” Cupid sat beside her on the couch, a little too close for comfort. He often did that. Elladora did her best to ignore it.

“I could do with your help,” she ventured, putting her glass down.

Cupid fixed her with a surprisingly penetrating gaze. Despite how he looked, he was no fool.

“Well, I assumed you weren’t here for social reasons. I have the Easter Bunny for that.”

Elladora shied away from where that thought led. “Someone made a wish to meet one of my colleagues. I think it will do them good to get a little love into their life. I was wondering…”

She gave a complicated twist of her wand and conjured an item out of thin air. It fluttered into her lap and she picked it up and held it out to the cherub.

“I’m assuming you’re going to be there anyway?” she asked.

He looked at the ticket, then nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it,” he grinned.

“Then could you put a bit of your special powder on the ticket?”

Cupid took the ticket between gentle fingers and trod lightly over to the pink sack in the corner of his room. He dipped his hand into the contents of the bag, then withdrew it. His fingers glimmered with what looked like sparkling glitter. So did the ticket.

“Fantastic!” Smiled Dora. “That should do it. You’ll just have to cancel the effect, once you’ve met. Then my work is done, and you’ll be free to get on with the rest of your shenanigans.”

Cupid moved across the room with his prancing gait and handed the ticket back to the fairy-godmother.

“Now, who am I meant to be meeting?” he asked.

“Alexander Rose,” replied Elladora, pocketing the ticket.

“Don’t you mean Alexandra?”

“Nope.”

“Fairy-godmother, what are you up to?”

Elladora raised her eyebrows and twitched her lips into the semblance of a smile. “Enjoy the concert, Cupid.”

She departed ‘The Love Shack’ (who named these cottages, anyhow!), to the sight of a growing grin on the little cherub’s face.

Now it was time for one last job before bedtime. She waved the wand and disappeared.

---------

Elladora pointed her wand at the ghastly noise-making machine in the corner. There was a small plume of smoke, and the Krash Metal music died an instant death.

Alexander looked up from his copy of Penthouse immediately.

“Hey!” He strode angrily over to where Elladora stood. “You can’t just come in here and smash up my things!”

“Don’t worry,” replied the fairy-godmother, airily. “The music system is fine. The CD is melted, but I’m sure if you just tape a bunch of rhinos giving birth, you’ll get the same effect. Now, your third wish.”

Alexander, his attention diverted, look around sceptically.

“There’s no-one here. You couldn’t do it, could you? I knew you were just a mad old woman. A loony with a wand, that’s all!”

“When you’ve quite finished,” snapped Elladora. “My associate will be meeting you at this location, tomorrow night.”

She held out the ticket. He looked closely, then sneered.

“A B4 concert? You must be yankin’ my chain! I wouldn’t be seen dead in a place like that!”

Elladora regarded him calmly. “Well, if you’re afraid to be proved wrong…”

“Boy Bands make me sick, y’old cow. They’re sell-outs to everything real musicians stand for! They steal other people’s songs, they couldn’t hold a tune in a bucket, they’re greedy, they’re materialistic, they’re…” His fingers finally touched the sparkling ticket, “…gorgeous! That Dwayne McKismo, wow, he’s hot, ohmigod is this a real ticket? Are you serious? Where’d you get it, they’re like gold dust! Whoo! Gotta ring my friends and tell them all about this!”

Elladora spent a long moment wrestling with temptation. Still, secrecy was in the fairy-godmother’s Handbook of Etiquette, and she couldn’t risk calling too much attention to herself – at least before the wish was underway.

She shook her head. “You don’t want to do that. They’ll all want to go, and you’ve only got one ticket. Tell them afterwards, okay?”

She left him staring in wonder at the ticket, mouthing the word ‘Wow!’

----------

Elladora slept a benign sleep that night. The following day was spent in her garden, trying to undo the damage that Fate had wreaked on her flower-beds. She knew that she should be getting on with the next brat on the list. Quite honestly, though, she was too thrilled at the idea of Alexander Rose getting his come-uppance to concentrate her mind on anyone else.

The hours inched by at a slow crawl. Despite all the re-planting and re-potting, Elladora thought the evening would never come. Come it did, though, in the end. Feeling deliciously wicked, she sat down in her study with a hot cup of cocoa and a packet of chocolate digestives and started to tune the orb in.

There was a spark of light. It started to expand. Dora watched in delight. This was the first time the seer’s ball had warmed up to its task immediately. Maybe her luck really was changing, maybe she was starting to take control of her life, maybe that spark was getting a little too big and a little too bright and now it was shooting out in all directions like…

Before she could work out what it was expanding like, several spikes of it shot out and singed her painfully. She beat at her hair as she saw a strand burning in front of her eyes. The orb, now melted and fused, dropped to the floor and began to scorch the rug.

Smarting and frizzled in several places, the fairy-godmother glared at the orb. Stupid darned thing! It had sat there idling for decades and now, just when she needed it to do its job, it had crashed and burned!

She stood up, her face uncharacteristically grim. This time, she was not going to put up with it. Fate would get her a replacement orb and it would work. Otherwise she would… she would…

She would darned well think of something, that’s what she’d do!

She picked up the still-smouldering crystal-ball and juggled it between her fingers until it was cool enough to hold. Then, with an irritable wave of her wand, she was off.

------------

Elladora’s nerves were already frayed by the orb’s explosion. She really didn’t need what happened next.

As she unthinkingly pulled Fate’s bell-rope, the door flew open and a giant clockwork cuckoo unleashed itself towards her at a furious pace. The air whooshed as it came to a stop, a bare two inches from the fairy-godmother’s nose. It opened its beak, dropped a note onto the crazy-paving and bellowed out a huge, sonorous:

CUCKOO!

Then it disappeared back inside with a slam.

Elladora pressed a hand against her chest, where her heart was attempting to race right through her ribcage. She picked herself up from the crazy paving, where she had stumbled in her fright. All the while she mumbled words that no self-respecting fairy-godmother should know.

Finally, she snatched the piece of paper and cast a dark glance over it. It simply said:

Gone to MAFIA.

Dora crumpled the note in her hand. Fate was not going to escape that easily. She vanished and reappeared instantly at the gates of the MAFIA Club. Although all the residents of Limbo were allowed access to the club, there was still a Bouncer at the gates. There had been ever since the infamous birthday party, two centuries ago, when Pestilence had volunteered to do the catering.

It came down to this: some residents were more welcome than others.

Tonight, the Big Bad Wolf was on patrol. Elladora braced herself. She had been through her run-ins with him in the past. Even though he couldn’t refuse her entry, he was bound to make life difficult.

“Who goes there?” he growled.

“You know darned well who! Let me past.”

The wolf gazed at her through narrowed eyes. “I don’t know. The fairy-godmother I remember was a lot thinner than you. Sure you’re not an impostor?”

That did it. Elladora drew her wand.

“Look, wolf,” she snapped. “There’s two ways this can go. I can get inside with your full co-operation… or I can shrink you to the size of a hamster. Then I’ll tell the three little pigs it’s wolf-hunting season. Let’s see how much huffing and puffing you do after that!”

For a long moment, their eyes locked in a battle of wills. The wolf broke first.

“Step inside,” he muttered.

Elladora marched through the gates and up the path. The MAFIA building was a perfect example of flawed thinking and flawed taste. If one marble arch looked ostentatious, the builders had reckoned, then it would follow that a hundred would look better. If Colosseum pillars were good in twos, how much better would they be in dozens? If long, graceful spires added atmosphere, a gross of spires could not fail to add more!

The overall effect was like a painting from Escher. Dora avoided it whenever she could. Now, though, was a time for confrontation.

She strode past the bath-houses and the massage rooms and the bar. Fate would be in the Social Room, hobnobbing with all her snobby friends.

Sure enough, Fate’s green cowl was visible the moment Elladora walked into the lounge. She was sitting at a table with another robed figure, smoking from a pipe that blew mustard-coloured smoke into the air.

Elladora was already at the table before she realised that Fate’s companion was one of Them. She halted, but it was too late. Both Fate and the other figure turned to regard her.

“Yes? What is it?” snapped Fate, obviously in a foul temper.

Elladora didn’t answer. She was too busy staring at the companion. He (or she, she wasn’t sure which) was a long flowing cloak with burning orange eyes and nothing else. Nothing that was visible, anyway.

Them. The mysterious Powers. Nobody knew where they came from or why they were here, but they controlled the whole of Limbo and the rules which governed it. Low-downs like Elladora rarely got to see one of them in person, and even more rarely got to speak with them. It came as a bit of a shock, therefore, when the Power addressed her.

“Ah. You must be Elladora Chubb. We have been discussing you.”

The voice made her shiver, although the moment it stopped, she could no longer remember how it had sounded. Another enigma of Them, she supposed. Then the meaning of the words sank in and looked puzzled.

“You have?” She was suddenly wary. “Why?”

“It seems that you have been lucky again.” Fate emphasized the word ‘lucky’ while glaring at Dora through slitted eyes.

“Not at all. Your handling of the Cassandra Daye case has been very interesting. How did you think of it, Miss Chubb?

The fairy-godmother floundered. “Err… think of what?”

“So Modest. Here. You must want to read about your success first-hand.” The Power handed over a folded sheet of paper, causing Dora’s fingers to tingle with a sensation pleasant to experience but impossible to remember. All the while, Fate looked on in obvious resentment.

Before Elladora could open it, however, the enigmatic figure spoke again.

“If I may ask, what is that thing you are holding?”

She looked down, almost surprised to see the wreckage of the orb still in her hand.

“Oh. That,” she stammered. “The… I mean… my crystal ball exploded.”

Fate opened her mouth, but the Power talked through her.

“How unfortunate. Here. A well-deserved replacement.”

There was a rustle from beneath his robes. Then he drew out an item, still in its original packaging and put it down on the table.

Elladora could barely believe it. A brand-new crystal ball! Fate had said they didn’t make them any more! She decided to get out of here while she was still winning.

“Thank you, Your Gr… Your Wor… uhh… Thank you.”

She bobbed a clumsy curtsy and left at a fast trot. As she waved her wand for home, she wondered how Alexander Rose was getting on.

----------

Alexander could barely contain his excitement. He had waited his turn and inched forward with the rest of the crowd. Giggling teenaged girls surrounded him on all sides. What did they know about it, anyway? They just had stupid adolescent crushes. He was in love!

He had picked a spot as close to the front as he could edge. There was no point in being here if he had to watch it on some oversized TV screen. He wanted to see the real thing!

Again he thought of Dwayne McKismo and sighed. What a guy!

The warm-up acts came and went. Alexander watched with impatience and irritation. These girls were so immature! They screamed at the slightest provocation while he watched in boredom. He was saving his voice for the lead singer of B4.

Finally, the time came. The band stepped onto the stage and the audience erupted into an orgy of ear-shattering noise. Alex couldn’t help himself. His arms waved with the rest. His larynx went into full throttle. He fixed his eyes on the face of his new hero, Dwayne McKismo!

The intro sounded, quelling the audience as effectively as a mass tracheotomy. Somewhere, in the far recesses of his mind, Alexander Rose was thinking:

‘What kind of a band doesn’t even play instruments?’

Whilst that tiny part of him yammered and hollered to get out, the rest of him floated on a wave of hormonal ecstacy. B4 chorused their first number, ‘I Fell Into You’, and he listened with adoring ears.

“I fell into you
Drowning, like a blind man in a puddle.
I fell into you
And you fell into me too.
The whole of the hole we dug’ll
See us through
Coz Baby
You know it
I fell into you.”

Alexander clung onto every word. It was beautiful, it was powerful, it had depth and meaning. God, that Dwayne was hot! Those tight leather pants went great with his fake leopard-skin shirt. And the way he swayed sent shivers right up and down Alex’s spine.

He had forgotten why he had received the ticket in the first place. It came as a complete surprise when he saw the little naked guy, flying above the audience and firing arrows at random.

Simultaneously, though, Cupid saw his target. His chubby little cheeks dimpled into a smile and he swooped down for a landing.

“You must be Alexander Rose,” he chirped, grasping the boy’s hand and shaking it. “Enjoying the concert?”

At his mention of the show, Alex found his gaze drawn back towards the stage. They were singing “Be my Chick” now, in perfect five-part harmony.

“Yeah,” he sighed, raising his arms and swaying slowly in time to the ballad.

“Elladora asked me to give you this.” Cupid was talking but Alexander was barely listening any more. He was lost to the rapture of his new religion. Then, suddenly, he sneezed, surrounded by a pinkish glitter that got up his nose.

There was a moment of perfect clarity. Alexander stood, stock-still, arms raised high above him, surrounded by a sea of oestrogen and teenage lust.

Then he shrieked an entirely different type of shriek.

“ELLADORA!!!!!”

----------

It would have been a source of great satisfaction to Dora, if she had been watching her latest victim at that moment. However, all thoughts of the orb were gone from her head. She had been reading the piece of paper that the Power had given her.

It read:

Report into the observations on Employee 4142 (aka. Elladora Chubb, Fairy-Godmother)

Re: Wish-granting, second and third of, for Miss Cassandra Daye

Upon rapid succession of above candidate’s second and third wishes, a report was commissioned to investigate the activities of the abovementioned fairy-godmother. The following conclusions were drawn:

Although Miss Chubb chose an experimental method of granting the secondary wish (expanding the size of Miss Daye’s bosom), the results have justified the means. Positive results on the ‘Popularity’ wish are often rare, given the nature of humans, especially adolescents.

In this particular cross-section, the popular females are unpleasant, even to those they take to their hearts. The popular males are driven by hormonal urges and unlikely to deliver any true affection to an adolescent of Cassandra’s mind-set.

Miss Chubb rather cleverly identified an existing clique that would accept Cassandra, given the right set of circumstances. The ‘Freak Geeks’, as they refer to themselves, style themselves in the manner of vampires, punks, Goths and other extreme examples of minority-culture. After interpreting the granting of Cassandra’s second wish as an attempt to rebel against authority, they have labelled her ‘cool’ and invited her to join their social activities (ie. An invitation to a club called ‘The Night Lair’ whenever she wishes to try it out).

The third wish was simply a cancellation of the second, once its effects were achieved. It is recommended that Miss Chubb be considered for a commendation if such excellent work continues.

She threw the letter to the floor in disgust. Another commendation? What good was that going to do?

Her evening was made only slightly more bearable by examining the new orb that They had given her. It was a whole universe away from the piece of junk that Fate had delivered to her, a century ago. This one had past and present features, rewind, fast-forward, pause and zoom! Now, if only she could work out how to use them all, she would be onto a winner.

She was still only a third of the way through the manual when the clock chimed ten. She yawned prodigiously. It was time for bed. She would tackle the rest of the instructions – and the next name on her list – in the morning.

When the sun came up (and after a sinful finishing of that packet of chocolate biscuits), she set to work again. Flipping open her notebook, she saw the next name.

Oh no. Martine Adams. Another militant. Well, no help for it, she would have to face the little demon!

With a wave of her wand, she was off again.

-----------

Martine’s room was well-ordered and clutter-free. It spoke of a twelve year old who knew exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it.

Unfortunately, that was true. Martine had written two letters of complaint to her superiors already – and that was when Dora had been trying to do a good job! Fortunately, neither of them had held up, but it hadn’t stopped Fate from gloating about it for weeks afterwards.

Now she faced the prim little girl, determined to earn yet another reprimand – only this one would be upheld, if she had anything to do with it!

“What can I do for you?” she asked, feigning politeness.

“You’re here to grant my third wish.” Martine spoke as if it was a commandment from a major deity.

The only thing that allowed Elladora to keep her temper was the abashed knowledge that she had failed to look at what Martine’s third wish actually was!

“Which is?”

“I want equal rights,” pronounced the girl, tossing her pigtails.

“Equal rights?” Elladora stared at her. “Equal to what?”

“Equal to whom.” Obviously Martine had no notion of how annoying it was to have your grammar corrected by a pre-teen. She continued blithely. “My brother gets to do whatever he wants, all the time. I want to be treated equally.”

“In what way?”

“In all ways. He gets to bring his girlfriends homes, comes back at all hours, gets more pocket money than me, nobody cares if he hasn’t done his homework, he doesn’t have to do any of the housework or the cooking, even.” She took a deep breath. “That’s what I want.”

“How old is your brother?” asked Dora, unable to help herself.

“Sixteen. But that’s irrelevant,” snapped the girl. “Equality knows no age restrictions. Make it happen.”

“As you wish,” said Elladora…
Back to top  
Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject:  

LOL :lol:

Great chapter.

Just going to go off and have a chuckle to myself before thinking about the new child. :D

A quick first thought though would be to make her a baby again (only physically though so she can experience her wish).

As a baby she won't have to do homework, or chores. And she could go to bed whenever she wants, although that's likely to be several times a day. She certainly wouldn't have to clean her room.

The wish would have to make her parents pay the baby the same pocket money, but of course it'll go into an account until she's older.

Technically she wouldn't have equal rights to her brother, but she'd get all the consequences she asked for.

Only a quick idea - I think there's holes in it. :?

Happy Writing. :)
Back to top  
ethereal_fauna



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 am    Post subject:  

She wants respect but not responsibility, to have everything her older brother has without being older...

Make her a boy- sad as it may be, some parents treat sons differently than daughters. Maybe being male would bring her what she wished for, along with a whole host of complaints too.

:twisted: Or maybe you could give her a terminal illness. Her parents would give her everything her brother has and then some, to compensate for her tragically short little life.
Back to top  
Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8783
Location: http://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:12 pm    Post subject:  

:clap: Fantastic chapter old Stoat, gotta be some of your best work! :great:

Have to go and do some (real) work now, but I will mull this one over and come back to it, though I quite like Smee's baby suggestion.
Back to top  
Solomon Birch



Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 2:28 am    Post subject:  

ethereal_fauna wrote:
:twisted: Or maybe you could give her a terminal illness. Her parents would give her everything her brother has and then some, to compensate for her tragically short little life.

Hee Hee :-D I like that evil suggestion Fauna!

Great chapter again Ms. Stoat! The whole boyband thing, LMAO!! :lol:

I think that Ethereal_ Fauna's idea was fantastically evil, though Elladora probably couldn't let it stay, as killing her charges is probably against the regulations..... (damn those regulations :-x )

Or you could swap her with her brother and see if she likes being a 16 year old boy for a while....

Can't wait for the next one! *holds breath*
Back to top  
Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1481
Location: Utah

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:06 am    Post subject:  

Equal to her brother, huh? Well, maybe we should shift the attention to him.

What if said irresponsible brother has been doing something illegal? And what if the fairy godmother helped him get caught. And to make sure the two of them have equal rights, the sister is framed and they're both arrested.


It depends on where the story is headed. We know the pattern Elladora's wishes are following, but I don't see how it's evolving. Currently the story is episodic, but where does the season finale come in? ... A few ideas come to mind. But I'm not seeing how the next decision will contribute to the overall theme of the story.

(Well written! You have excellent style)
Back to top  
Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:14 am    Post subject:  

Nice idea Lebrenth. Welcome to the story :D

The season finale should happen around about chapter 8, 9 or 10... and I do have an ending in mind (although I shall probably have to change it two or three times to fit, given the contrariness of the voter's choices ;)).

For now, just enjoy the ride...
Back to top  
Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8783
Location: http://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:03 am    Post subject:  

Um, well my stocks of Idearium are low at the moment, or maybe someone has been addind Stupidium in my water, but I can't think of anything else.

I like Lebby's idea.
Back to top  
Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:15 am    Post subject:  

Lebrenth wrote:
It depends on where the story is headed. We know the pattern Elladora's wishes are following, but I don't see how it's evolving.

Ahh, now it's not quite so early in the (my) morning, I see what you were getting at.

Elladora's getting nowhere fast? Well, feel free to come up with alternative plans for her Fairy Godmothering, if you have any ideas. I'll be sure to either include them in the poll or try to incorporate them into the overall plot for you.

One thing to bear in mind is that she may be impressing the Powers, but she's bugging the heck out of Fate - and Fate is the one who has the power to have her replaced, when all's said and done (or at least that's what Elladora has to assume).

If, at some point, the Powers fail to intercede, or Elladora gets 'lucky' with her victims, then Fate shall have her way :)

However, I'd be more than glad to hear Elladora plotting new maneuvers to get herself fired more swiftly. Be evil. Be creative. Be the sort of person your mother warned you about ;)
Back to top  
Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:30 am    Post subject:  

Hmmm...I'm struggling to decide which one I think will be most fun to read, and which one is technically more correct for what she asked for.

Just a few more thoughts.

She doesn't clearly state the magic words of 'I wish for ...' so I'm going to assume that had she it would have been "I wish for equality with my brother.'

So therefore I think she should be made his identical twin. The combination of the sudden influx of teenage angst, becoming male, and displeasure of her brother should make the whole event pretty nasty, even if she gets paid more pocket money.

I like Sols idea of swapping places, but I don't think that works with the wish. They wouldn't have equality, but a reversal of the current inequality. That's not the wish and we run the risk of getting in the wrong kind of trouble for that.

However, rather than swapping places - how about getting rid of Martine completely and putting her inside her brother's head. She and him would have to fight to control the body that they now both equally share. Sometimes he'd be in control and sometimes she would.

Another idea that suddenly leaps to mind is to bring the equality the other way - make the brother equal to her. Less pocket money, chores, etc - but make sure the brother knows it's because of his sister. A few days of his displeasure, along with the same restrictions she already hates I'm sure will upset her.

I also like Lebrenth's idea. In the police station I can imagine her being questioned and she wails something like "but I'm only 12" only to recieve the response "we are all equal in the eyes of the law". That'd probably hit the lesson home pretty hard.

Happy Writing. :)
Back to top  
Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1481
Location: Utah

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:33 pm    Post subject:  

I admit a few evil ideas are skulking about in my brain.... Well, maybe it is my job to get you in trouble and yours to get out of it.

I'm conflicted. How do we contribute to the story? By giving story ideas or by assuming control of the main character and to what degree? Do we control the character as if we were in their place, or do we attempt to "Stay In Character" and make choices the character would.

To get fired? Well, she ought to realize she's failing. She doesn't have the will to do something really nasty, and even if she did, it sounds like Fate would still not release her. She would just make Elladora's life harder and she'd still be stuck. So while Ella's in the mindset of doing things badly, she's actually doing what she should by doing such a good job she gets attention from above Fate.

So what she ought to do is what she has been, plus we could start making some subtle criticisms of the way Fate does things. Make Fate look bad while staying in good favor and we're golden. Fate will be more than happy to release Elladora.

(But there's a problem again. In the end, is it best if Elladora stops being a fairy godmother?)

... So I'll just let you sort those things out, and we'll get the handcuffs for our next little stint.
Back to top  
Suneila
Guest





Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:24 pm    Post subject:  

Lebrenth wrote: In the end, is it best if Elladora stops being a fairy godmother?

It doesn't matter if that's what's best, it matters what she thinks is best right now.

I agree that she should soon realize that her plan is failing. Maybe she should decide to continue her plan with this next victim, er, client, but try something new with the one after that. Or maybe her getting Fate upset is enough for her, and she can continue with her plan.

~sunny
Back to top  
Shady Stoat
Guest


Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:01 am    Post subject:  

Poll's up for 3 days.

Thanks for the masses of responses to this one. I haven't been able to include all of the options (the poll would have been longer than the story!), so I've chosen the ones that either fit the wish best or made the funniest writing.

And, in response to viewer wishes, Elladora is going to switch tactics, at least a little, in the following chapters. ;)
Back to top  
Chinaren
Guest


Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8783
Location: http://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:14 am    Post subject:  

Voted for the terminal illness, 'cos I wanted to see what way round it you thought of!

and, as Lordy would say, I'm winning! :D
Back to top  
LordoftheNight
Guest


Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5260
Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:41 am    Post subject:  

thief

i went for the body swap
Back to top  
ethereal_fauna
Guest


Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:06 am    Post subject:  

Went for the shared body option. Liked the sound of that one :)
Back to top  
Smee
Guest


Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:08 am    Post subject:  

After a fair amount of ye olde ummming and ahhing I've decided on the final option.

I think sharing a body with her brother really is equality to the extreme, and it should be amusing as well.

*shudders at thought of sharing body with sister*

Happy Writing. :)
Back to top  
ethereal_fauna
Guest


Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:20 am    Post subject:  

...Smeewaves. :-o
Back to top  
Solomon Birch
Guest


Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:08 am    Post subject:  

Voted to make her share the body. I agree with Smee, I would not want to share the body of my sister...

*shudder*

Well done Shady, can't wait!

*Holds breath* :shock:
Back to top  
Mother Goose
Guest


Joined: 09 May 2004
Posts: 511
Location: Connecticut

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:27 am    Post subject:  

Voted for the body-swap. I think she'd learn a lot, trying to cope with being a teen-age boy!
Back to top  
Suneila
Guest





Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:20 am    Post subject:  

I voted for them to share his body, but I wanted the identical twin option which didn't exist. Oh, well.

~sunny
Back to top  
Solomon Birch
Guest


Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:02 pm    Post subject:  

10 votes so far Shady, congratulations !!!

:biggrin: :biggrin:
Back to top  
Shady Stoat
Guest


Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 2:31 am    Post subject:  

11! :shock:

It must be Dwayne McKismo, drawing in the crowds ;)
Back to top  
Solomon Birch
Guest


Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 12:47 am    Post subject:  

HA HA HA!! Him and his tight pants.....

*Note to self: must buy tight pants....*
Back to top  
Shady Stoat
Guest


Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:00 am    Post subject:  

12 votes, in the end. That's a new record - thanks folks! :D

You went with the sharing of her brother's body in the end. I'm on it...
Back to top  
 
       Storygames Home -> No Good Deed...
Page 1 of 1


Powered by phpBB Search Engine Indexer
Powered by phpBB 2.0.16 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group