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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:33 pm    Post subject:  

Another excellent chapter Ravay.

Well, what to choose. Personally, and I can't help viewing this from a personal pov, I wouldn't go for the full body thing. Only his legs are missing, certain other, aha, members, are fully functioning, aren't they? Still, good to know it is there, in case of future damage.

The 2nd option I need to know more about. It seems like it is just regrowing his legs, and what are these further enhancements? Sounds interesting.

Option 1. Bionics. Also sounds good. A tough choice.
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:38 pm    Post subject:  

Hey Rav,

Good chapter; nicely told, and well paced. :)

I think it's going to have to be the middle option. If he's given up his family and life forever you're not going to go for the 'low intrusion' option.

The final one seems too much - and a bit like RoboCop. He will want to keep hold of some of his identity.

Therefore I think he'll go for the middle option. Biological implants and improvements. Having new legs of flesh is far more than he could ever hope for, and I would guess make him less 'different' in view to other humans. This would appeal as at least he could mingle with people.

Happy Writing. :)
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:58 pm    Post subject:  

I'm enjoying this story a lot. Decision points are great, characterization is all there and I get the feeling that the action has barely begun :cool:

Now, for the decision point. I'd have to say go for option 1. He feels helpless at the moment. The parts of his body that work, work fine, but his legs? They're useless and so he's useless.

The more powerful his new legs are, the more confident he'll feel about them. It may be an overreaction, but why stop at normal, now that you know how easily you can lose common flesh? Go for something more robust for the future :D
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Solomon Birch



Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:32 am    Post subject:  

Good chapter Rav, good writing. :)

Just a lil typo:

Quote: for failiing to complete

This should be failing. :D

Now, onto the decision point... are the cybernetic legs visibly cybernetic, or do they have a fleshy coating to make them seem real? If they are, then I might be inclined to go for that, from the character's standpoint. I doubt he trusts the idea of re-growing his legs, but if they offer the chance for the most realistic return of his mobility (i.e. he has legs that are the msot similar to his original apendages) then I think he would go for it. As for the third option, what others have said seems pretty sensible. I doubt he would see the need to go for a full body transformation unless he has completely given up on the idea of ever seeing his family and friends again, or if he has suddenly got a comic-book take on his strange situation.

*holds breath* :shock:
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject:  

Quote: "Who said anything about giving you YOU'RE legs back? I said you would walk, you would run, I might add even more, but I never said it would be with YOU'RE legs..."

It should be YOUR legs, otherwise you're calling him a pair of legs, rather than impling ownership.

I don't know, I have so say I was rather tempted by the third option - a bit like robocop as Smee says, but without the unpleasant being a robot part - it sounds like he will still be himself, with his memories and own personality.
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:12 am    Post subject:  

F5 Smee. I would like to know more about this biological procedure. Seems more painful that the other two since Mack has to regrow the bones and muscle he lost. (Reminds further of Harry Potter in the second book)

Rav, I have always been known as Rave, so you're more than welcome to call me that name.

Quote: giving wise counsel regarding his highschool sweathearts

I don't think I would want to be called that endearment. ;)
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ethereal_fauna



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:04 am    Post subject:  

I too find appeal in the second option. The flesh can send so many signals, valuable input to a soldier. Enhance that even more- not just regrown limbs but an actual biological reconfiguration, and he'll be a super human.
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Araex
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:41 am    Post subject:  

Option 1 - cyber legs, strong and tough, but no faster and unfeeling

Option 2 - biological legs. Like we had before, or real legs, but stronger, faster, and with the possibility for improvement. Sounds good.

Option 3 - Going back on everything we've experienced. If we try this, how do we know we will keep our memories? Are our memories stored in our brain, or is there a soul that will die or just not transmit if we transfer our brain?

Option 2 sounds good to me.
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 2:59 pm    Post subject:  

How did the topic of memories and brains come up? I was under the impression that what we have here is a normal human being with a brain, so scientifically memories would be stored in there.
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LordoftheNight
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:18 pm    Post subject:  

Smee mentioned option 3 reminding him of Robocop, which led to a discussion of whether or not he would keep his memories and personality, or simply become a machine under the governments control.
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:35 pm    Post subject:  

I skimmed over that post a bit when I was going through the discussion. Of course that topic seems a bit hard to decide upon. We don't know enough whether he will become a robot of the government, or be himself. Though it does seem if he goes with Option 3, he sort of loses his identity.
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Ravagerrr
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:23 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks again for your encouragement and advise... you're all so very helpful! ;)

I apologize for the occasional typo... I really don't have a valid way to make these posts anything but the first draft, and when I do them, time is limited so I don't have much time for editing. Still, I do appreciate you pointing them out as it helps me to improve. I found even more going through it today. :scared:

I'm glad you are enjoying the story! I'll try to stay on this same weekly schedule here so voting should pick up again on Sunday.

Sorry I can't answer some of the questions posed. I feel its best to keep some things in the dark still. He can ask some of these questions, but ultimately, I'll answer them through the story alone, which leaves you to use your imagination to guide your decision.

Thanks for playing!

PS: Ok Rave, Rave it is then... o-)
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:26 pm    Post subject:  

How cruel, you leave us in the dark. :P You have a lot of questions to answer.
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Ravagerrr
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:38 pm    Post subject:  

Alright, alright, here's a few questions answered:

1: his parts are working just fine.

2: the cybernetic legs looking human... possible

3: the biological legs looking human... possible

4: the cyborg body looking human... possible

He is working with a lot of potential here, even after this most basic discussion which is why I made my previous comment.

5: would he lose his identity? I like the philosophical debate on that matter. My question is this, if they can cybernetically tie legs to his body, could he not still be controlled? If they can biologically recreate legs, could he not still be given control factors? You can be assured a program of this nature would have insurance packages inherant in the design no matter what route we take here, but the possibility of further loss of identity with the cyborg form is very real, or at least he would certainly feel that way.

I will say this: the first choice is the least committed, the second is midrange and the third is complete. The more committed the choice, the more power he will end up with, but the less freedom. You have all made this clear through your discussions and I just felt it needed to be said.

Voting will hopefully begin tomorrow.
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Solomon Birch
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:41 pm    Post subject:  

Right, as I'm away for a few days, I'm going to post my vote now, just in case I miss the actual poll. I'm going to say go for the 2nd option; the re-grown legs. It would hopefully make him feel more whole again, if he has very similar apendages to before his accident, and the prospect of uber-upgrades sounds fun! :biggrin:

*holds breath* :shock:
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LordoftheNight
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:26 pm    Post subject:  

As I'm away for the same reasons, I'll do the same - my vote goes for option three.
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Chinaren
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:39 pm    Post subject:  

I will be mucho busy at the weekend, I will likely still log on, but also just in case, I say grow 'em. :D
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Ravagerrr
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:48 pm    Post subject:  

OK then, seems a pattern has emerged which is easiest if we all follow... no poll... just post your vote please. I'll tally them next week... Thanks!
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:16 pm    Post subject:  

Going for the biological procedure. Seems like a path Mac here would like to follow.
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Smee
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:22 pm    Post subject:  

Yep - option 2 for me too. :)
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:28 pm    Post subject:  

:shock: Wow. Smee hit 3000 posts. That should be a newsflash. *laughs* Congrats Smee. A worthy number of posts.

Sorry Rav. Just had to mention that.
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Smee
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:52 pm    Post subject:  

Oooh - I hadn't noticed.

Party in the Open forum ;)
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saxon215
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 10:01 am    Post subject:  

Ravagerrr wrote: I figure I'll be calling you Rave
we all do anyway, its been Rave's name since i came to this site and probably before, i just dont know that for sure because i wasent here
excellent story i like where this is going, i found your first chapter sounded a little like a storytelling session but thats just me i suppose.
This story looks promising and i cant wait to read more
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Ravagerrr
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:29 pm    Post subject:  

Alright then, I changed my mind... running a pole anyhow... I'll tally votes from the posts who aren't counted among the pollees. I may have to wait til next week (Sunday) to write the next portion, but I'll get to it as soon as possible either way.

Happy Voting!
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:00 pm    Post subject:  

I will just cast my vote anyways.
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Vampireidiot
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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:00 am    Post subject:  

wow, good two chapters :biggrin:

Looking forward to the next one, interesting
I'll make sure i read the next one in time to vote:D
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Ravenwing
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Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:35 am    Post subject:  

1:2:1 that reminds of genetics, and the Punnet Square. That is if both the parents are heterozygous. I should really be studying for AP Biology. :P
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Ravagerrr
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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:34 pm    Post subject:  

Ok, thanks for voting... My count, although possibly inacurate, stands at 1, 6, 2. Even if it IS inacurate, I think there is a clear winner, biological method.

I have not had the time I expected to have today, as I was suspecting, to write the next chapter, SO, I'll probably have to wait another 4 days to pick this up again. Sorry if anyone felt left out of the poll, so if u still want to cast your vote, you may, just post you're opinion and I'll take another count just before I write the next chapter.
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:17 pm    Post subject:  

Do not worry Rav. All of us suffer from RL (as in real life.) :cool: Same goes for me and Glassbreaker, so little time, so many ideas.
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saxon215
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:21 am    Post subject:  

lol
hey what has been up with the poling system, am i the onyl person who couldnt vote for a while?
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Chinaren
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:10 am    Post subject:  

I can't vote now, but perhaps it has expired.
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ethereal_fauna
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Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:20 am    Post subject:  

Ravagerrr needs to PM tramp or shanty to get the old poll deleted. :cool: I think he had people just posting their votes before he set up this poll.
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Ravenwing
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Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:12 am    Post subject:  

Yeah I think there was time limit for this poll. If you do want to vote, I think Rav said to PM him, and he will make note of it.
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saxon215
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:16 am    Post subject:  

yeah but nah but yeah coz i tired to vote before and it was as if the poll had closed but then i could vote so i did and i had trouble setting up a poll somewhere elkse but that fixed itself aftyer a while]
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:29 pm    Post subject:  

LOL. Sax, I can tell you were tired. You didn't even get your color code to work. :cool:
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Solomon Birch
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Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:11 pm    Post subject:  

ROFL, don't be mean Ravey, I'm sure he did it on purpose *snigger* :P
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject:  

*laughs* Perhaps, but I can't see much reason to do on purpose.
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saxon215
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:59 pm    Post subject:  

*fixes his colour coding*
damn bloody colour coding
yesah i was tired i had only had thirty minutes of sleep the nnight before i wrote that post, i was listening to a damn good cd over and over again
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:32 pm    Post subject:  

Must have been really good music if it made you fall asleep. :cool:
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saxon215
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 1:00 am    Post subject:  

yes Rave, ythat makes total sence, it put me to sleep because if i hadenbt have had that cd i wouldnt have managed to get that 30 minutes of sleep (sax is being scarcastic....DUH)
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